Module I: Conflict Management

 Meaning and nature of conflicts

 Types of Conflict Styles and Techniques of conflict management
 Conflict management and interpersonal communication

Conflict: It occurs when both the parties cannot agree upon the same way.

Type of Conflict:
Pseudo Conflict: Due to Lack of Understanding
Simple Conflict: Due to difference in Views, Ideas, Thought, Perception Etc.
Ego Conflict: Due to Personal difference
Myth about Conflict:
1. Conflict can be always be avoided
2. Conflict always occurs because of misunderstanding
3. Conflict is a sign of poor relationship
4. Conflict is always bad
About the Eight Causes
According to psychologists Art Bell and Brett Hart, there are eight common causes of conflict in the workplace. Bell and
Hart identified these common causes in separate articles on workplace conflict in 2000 and 2002.
The eight causes are:
1. Conflicting resources.
2. Conflicting styles.
3. Conflicting perceptions.
4. Conflicting goals.
5. Conflicting pressures.
6. Conflicting roles.
7. Different personal values.
8. Unpredictable policies.
You can use this classification to identify possible causes of conflict. Once you've identified these, you can take steps to
prevent conflict happening in the first place, or you can tailor your conflict resolution   strategy to fit the situation.

How to Use the Tool

Let's take a closer look at each of the eight causes of workplace conflict, and discuss what you can do to avoid and
resolve each type.
1. Conflicting Resources
We all need access to certain resources – whether these are office supplies, help from colleagues, or even a meeting
room – to do our jobs well. When more than one person or group needs access to a particular resource, conflict can
occur.
If you or your people are in conflict over resources, use techniques such as  Win-Win Negotiation   or the Influence
Model   to reach a shared agreement.
You can also help team members overcome this cause of conflict by making sure that they have everything they need to
do their jobs well. Teach how to prioritize   their time and resources, as well as how to negotiate   with one another to
prevent this type of conflict.
If people start battling for a resource, sit both parties down to discuss openly why their needs are at odds. An open
discussion about the problem can help each party see the other's perspective and become more  empathic   about their
needs.
2. Conflicting Styles
Everyone works differently, according to his or her individual needs and personality. For instance, some people love the
thrill of getting things done at the last minute, while others need the structure of strict deadlines to perform. However,
when working styles clash, conflict can often occur.
To prevent and manage this type of conflict in your team, consider people's working styles and natural group
roles   when you build your team.
You can also encourage people to take a personality test, such as the  Myers-Briggs Personality Test (MBTI) . This can
help them become more accepting of other people's styles of working, and be more flexible as a result.
3. Conflicting Perceptions
All of us see the world through our own lens, and differences in perceptions of events can cause conflict, particularly
where one person knows something that the other person doesn't know, but doesn't realize this.
If your team members regularly engage in "turf wars" or gossip, you might have a problem with conflicting perceptions.
Additionally, negative performance reviews or customer complaints can also result from this type of conflict.
Make an effort to eliminate this conflict by communicating openly with your team, even when you have to share bad
news. The more information you share with your people, the less likely it is that they will come up with their own
interpretations of events.
Different perceptions are also a common cause of office politics. For instance, if you assign a project to one person that
normally would be someone else's responsibility, you may unwittingly ignite a power struggle between the two. Learn
how to navigate office politics, and coach your team to do the same.
4. Conflicting Goals
Sometimes we have conflicting goals in our work. For instance, one of our managers might tell us that speed is most
important goal with customers. Another manager might say that in-depth, high-quality service is the top priority. It's
sometimes quite difficult to reconcile the two!
Whenever you set goals for your team members, make sure that those goals don't conflict with other goals set for that
person, or set for other people.
And if your own goals are unclear or conflicting, speak with your boss and negotiate   goals that work for everyone.
5. Conflicting Pressures
We often have to depend on our colleagues to get our work done. However, what happens when you need a report
from your colleague by noon, and he's already preparing a different report for someone else by that same deadline?
Conflicting pressures are similar to conflicting goals; the only difference is that conflicting pressures usually involve
urgent tasks, while conflicting goals typically involve projects with longer timelines.
If you suspect that people are experiencing conflict because of clashing short-term objectives, reschedule tasks and
deadlines to relieve the pressure.
6. Conflicting Roles
Sometimes we have to perform a task that's outside our normal role or responsibilities. If this causes us to step into
someone else's "territory," then conflict and power struggles can occur. The same can happen in reverse – sometimes
we may feel that a particular task should be completed by someone else.
Conflicting roles are similar to conflicting perceptions. After all, one team member may view a task as his or her
responsibility or territory. But when someone else comes in to take over that task, conflict occurs.
If you suspect that team members are experiencing conflict over their roles, explain why you've assigned tasks or
projects to each person. Your explanation could go a long way toward remedying the pressure.
You can also use a Team Charter   to crystallize people's roles and responsibilities, and to focus people on objectives.
7. Different Personal Values
Imagine that your boss has just asked you to perform a task that conflicts with your ethical standards. Do you do as your
boss asks, or do you refuse? If you refuse, will you lose your boss's trust, or even your job?
When our work conflicts with our personal values like this, conflict can quickly arise.
To avoid this in your team, practice ethical leadership : try not to ask your team to do anything that clashes with their
values, or with yours.
There may be times when you're asked to do things that clash with your personal ethics. Our article on  preserving your
integrity   will help you to make the right choices.
8. Unpredictable Policies
When rules and policies change at work and you don't communicate that change clearly to your team, confusion and
conflict can occur.
In addition, if you fail to apply workplace policies consistently with members of your team, the disparity in treatment can
also become a source of dissension.
When rules and policies change, make sure that you communicate exactly what will be done differently and, more
importantly, why the policy is changing. When people understand why the rules are there, they're far more likely to
accept the change.
Once the rules are in place, strive to enforce them fairly and consistently.

Module II: Behavioural & Interpersonal Communication

 Importance of Interpersonal Communication
 Rapport Building – NLP, Communication mode
 Steps to improve interpersonal communication
 Meaning and Nature of Behavioural Communication
 Relevance of Behavioural Communication

And

Module III: Relationship Management for Personal and professional Development

 Importance of relationships
 Maintaining healthy relationships
 Communication Styles
 Types of Interpersonal Relationship

Characteristics of interpersonal communication

1. Interpersonal communication involves Independent individuals. This may seem obvious. What this means is that
each person has their own motivations, expectations and interpretations of communication.
2. Interpersonal communication is inherently rational. in short, its meant to be understood. Whatever we
communicate, however we communicate we do so becasue we are intelligent beings, capable of expressing and
communicating our thoughts and feelings. and when we communicate we naturally expect to be understood.
3. Interpersonal communication is inescapable. We are constantly communicating with what we say, our body
language and expressions. Infact when we remain silent that also, is to communicate something. SO no matter
what we do, we are communicating all the time.
4. Interpersonal communication is irreversible. What we say cannot be un-done. If we hurt someone, we can’t take
it back. We can apologize as much as we want and the person may forgive us. But we cant reverse it.

Interpersonal communication is the universal form of communication that takes place between two individuals. Since it
is person-to-person contact, it includes everyday exchange that may be formal or informal and can take place anywhere
by means of words, sounds, facial expression, gestures and postures.
In interpersonal communication there is face-to-face interaction between two persons, that is, both are sending and
receiving messages. This is an ideal and effective communication situation because you can get immediate feedback. You
can clarify and emphasize many points through your expressions, gestures and voices. In interpersonal communication,
therefore, it is possible to influence the other person and persuade him or her to accept your point of view. Since there
is proximity between sender and receiver, interpersonal communication has emotional appeal too. It can motivate,
encourage, and coordinate work more effectively than any other form of communication. Also, in a crisis, through
interpersonal channel, flow of information is tremendous e.g. news of violence, famine or disaster.

Interpersonal messages consist of meanings derived from personal observations and experiences. The process of
translating thoughts into verbal and nonverbal messages increases the communicator’s self-concept. In fact, effective
interpersonal communication helps both participants strengthen relationships through the sharing of meaning and
emotions.
Communication Style:

1. Assertive Communication: The most effective and healthiest form of communication is the assertive style. It
is how we naturally express ourselves. We communicate clearly and forthrightly. We care about the
relationship and strive for a win – win situation.
2. Aggressive Communication: Aggressive Communication always involves manipulation. Although there are a
few arenas where Aggressive behaviour is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in a relationship.
3. Passive Communication: in this mode we don’t talk much, question even less and actually do very little.
Passive have learned that it is safer no to react and better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed.

4. PASSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing
their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. Passive
communication is usually born of low self-esteem. These individuals believe: “I’m not worth taking care of.”

5. Types of Interpersonal relationship:

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Co-worker
4. Enemy
5. Teacher
6. Counselor
7. Mentor
8. Advisor etc.

Categories of Personal Relationship:

1. Kinship Relationship: Which we got through genetically and marriage like- Father, Mother, Father in Law, and
Mother in Law etc.
2. Formalized relationship: for example Boss, co-worker, doctor, counselor etc.
3. Non-formalized relationship: friends, family member, boy friend, girl friend etc.

Functions of Interpersonal communication

We use interpersonal communication for a variety of reasons. For example, interpersonal communication helps us
understand our world better. It helps us understand a situation in a better way. We also use interpersonal
communication to think and evaluate more effectively. Often it is used to change behavior also. The three specific
functions are:

1. Linking function
2. Mentation function and
3. Regulatory function.

The linking function connects a person with his or her environment. The mentation function helps us conceptualize,
remember, and plan. It is a mental or intellectual function. The regulatory function serves to regulate our own and
other’s behavior.

Through interpersonal communication we are nurtured as infants, physically, emotionally and intellectually. Again
through interpersonal communication we develop cultural, social and psychological links with the world. In fact,
interpersonal communication is the very basis of our survival and growth as it helps us to function more practically.

Dale Carnegie’s Principles of improving Interpersonal skills

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are
criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their
critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain because it will never result
in the behavior we desire.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world.
People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out
their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful and with love.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget
our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine
our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our
objectives.
Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by being
interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you." The only way to make
quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.
2. Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles
are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that
you do.
3. Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any
language. "The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the
world put together." People love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of
money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued
and important by remembering their name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good
conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about
what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they
just want someone who will listen to them.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the
things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel
valued and value us in return.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people
how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk
to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a
sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no
matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or
 strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments
whenever we can.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." We must never tell people
flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be
humiliated, we must not be so blunt.
3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it
immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we
expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of
thinking.
4. Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall”. If we begin our
interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset,
we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the
aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the
things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often
follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to
go with questions that they will answer "yes" to.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy
doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much
sweeter to them in their own mouth.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their
own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing
others to think they arrived at it themselves.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong,
but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people
requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They
want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will
appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.
10.Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they
do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can
successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
11.Dramatize your ideas. In this fast paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be
made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not
enough and we must dramatize them.
12.Throw down a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel
and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they
will often rise to meet it.

Nonverbal communication (NVC) is usually understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving
wordless messages. i.e., language is not the only source of communication, there are other means also. NVC can be
communicated through gestures and touch (Haptic communication), by body language or posture, by facial expression
and eye contact. NVC can be communicated through object communication such as clothing, hairstyles or even
architecture, symbols and info graphics. Speech contains nonverbal elements known as paralanguage, including voice
quality, emotion and speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Dance is also
regarded as a nonverbal communication. Likewise, written texts have nonverbal elements such as handwriting style,
spatial arrangement of words, or the use of emoticons.

However, much of the study of nonverbal communication has focused on face-to-face interaction, where it can be
classified into three principal areas: environmental conditions where communication takes place, the physical
characteristics of the communicators, and behaviors of communicators during interaction.

Non-verbal communication is an aspect of behavioral communication. Behavioral communication means

communicating wholly. Not just stating or verbal message but how we think and feel and thus communicate using all
our mind and body resources.

Distance. Distance. The distance one stands from another frequently conveys a non-verbal message. In some cultures it
is a sign of attraction, while in others it may reflect status or the intensity of the exchange.

Orientation. People may present themselves in various ways: face-to-face, side-to-side, or even back-to-back. For
example, cooperating people are likely to sit side-by-side while competitors frequently face one another.

Posture. Obviously one can be lying down, seated, or standing. These are not the elements of posture that convey
messages. Are we slouched or upright? Are our legs crossed or our arms folded? Such postures convey a degree of
formality and the degree of relaxation in the communication exchange.
Physical Contact. Shaking hands, touching, holding, embracing, pushing, or patting on the back all convey messages.
They reflect an element of intimacy or a feeling of (or lack of) attraction.

Dynamic Features

Facial Expressions.

Facial Expressions. A smile, frown, raised eyebrow, yawn, and sneer all convey information. Facial expressions
continually change during interaction and are monitored constantly by the recipient. There is evidence that the meaning
of these expressions may be similar across cultures.

Gestures. One of the most frequently observed, but least understood, cues is a hand movement. Most people use hand
movements regularly when talking. While some gestures (e.g., a clenched fist) have universal meanings, most of the
others are individually learned and idiosyncratic. It involves hand movements, head movements, shoulders shrugging,
tilted nod, shaking of leg, etc.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is a direct and powerful form of non-verbal communication. Eye contact describes acknowledging the
person and what he wants to communicate. Eye contact makes the other person feel accepted and get to know our
emotions, interests and likeability. It’s the basic form of respect towards a human being when they are talking or
communicating with us. The frequency of contact may suggest either interest or boredom.

Personal Space

Personal space is your "bubble" - the space you place between yourself and others. This invisible boundary becomes
apparent only when someone bumps or tries to enter your bubble.
How you identify your personal space and use the environment in which you find yourself influences your ability to send
or receive messages. How close do you stand to the one with whom you are communicating ? Where do you sit in the
room ? How do you position yourself with respect to others at a meeting ? All of these things affect your level of
comfort, and the level of comfort of those receiving your message.
(all the details about space discussed in class)

Interpersonal Relationship
Definition: A relationship is a bond between two individual or more.

Building and maintaining healthy relationships

Healthy relationships bring happiness and health to our lives. Studies show that people with healthy relationships really
do have more happiness and less stress. There are basic ways to make relationships healthy, even though each one is
different…parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, professors, roommates, and classmates, colleagues, etc.

Listening is one of the most crucial aspects of good interpersonal skills-

Listening is the basic tool for communicating. Not just hearing to the external stimulus but truly listening to what others
are saying. Also, keeping in mind other aspects their non verbal communication. Both of these together is called active
listening.

There are 5 types of listening:

1. Ignoring: when one can hear what the other person is saying but there is no eye contact and thus it makes the
speaker feel like they are being ignored
2. Pretend: when there is eye contact and the listener looks like he is listening but is not interested in what the
speaker is saying or listener is waiting for the speaker to finish so that he can get his turn to speak
3. Selective listening: there is eye contact, there is interest, but the listener selectively choose to listen and process
only those things that he wants to
4. Attentive: this is one of the most desired form of listening, when the person is maintining eye contact, is
interested in listening to the other person and also participates in the conversation with full attention
5. Empathetic: This is the best and highest form of listening, which is listening by truly being in the other person’s
shoes. It involves probing, empathy, action and scope for greater relationship building

Here are some ways that can help you build and maintain healthy relationships

1. Keep expectations realistic. No one can be everything we might want him or her to be. Just because we have had a
succeful way of dealing with things, others cant change the way they perceive and respond to the situations. Sometimes
people disappoint us. It’s not all-or-nothing, though. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not
trying to change them. To make this easier, we can try and understand why they are being a certain way. What kind of
life experiences make them who they are. This would reduce our distress about their behavior.

2. Talk with each other. It can’t be said enough: communication is essential in healthy relationships! It means—
 Take the time. Really be there.
 Genuinely listen. Don’t plan what to say next while you’re trying to listen. Don’t interrupt.
 Listen with your ears and your heart. Sometimes people have emotional messages to share and weave it into
their words.
 Ask questions. The only way to see what they see and understand how they feel, is by asking questions with
sincerity. Keep the tone friendly and appropriate. Ask for opinions. Show your interest. Open the communication
door. And do not try to correct anything. Simply understand where they are coming from.
  Share information. Studies show that sharing information especially helps relationships begin. Be generous in
sharing yourself, but don’t overwhelm others with too much too soon.
 “know exactly what you are going through” is most of the times inappropriate because, we can never really
know exactly what a person is going through. Instead use phrases like, I can only imagine, what you are going
through. It must be terrible, and I am here for you.

3. Be flexible. Most of us try to keep people and situations just the way we like them to be. It’s natural to feel
apprehensive, even sad or angry, when people or things change and we’re not ready for it. Healthy relationships mean
change and growth are allowed. Communicate your awareness about it. That it takes you a while to get accustomed to
change and while you are willing to adjust to it, it may take a few days/months for you to be okay about it.

4. Take care of you. You probably hope those around you like you so you may try to please them. Don’t forget to please
yourself. Healthy relationships are mutual. Be aware about what is important to you and find out a way that you can
cater to your needs and wants in a way that does not negatively affect others.

5. Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you have an assignment deadline, meet it. If you
take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy relationships are trustworthy! The only way to show trust and integrity is to
say what you think and to do what you say you will.

6. Fight fair. All relationships will have some kind of conflict at some point of time. It only means you disagree about
something, it doesn’t have to mean you don’t like each other! When you have a problem:
 Negotiate a time to talk about it. Don’t have difficult conversations when you are angry or tired. Ask, "When is a
good time to talk about something that is bothering me?" Healthy relationships are based on respect and have
room for both.
 Don’t criticize. Attack the problem, not the other person. Open sensitive conversations with "I" statements; talk
about how you struggle with the problem. Don’t open with "you" statements; avoid blaming the other person
for your thoughts and feelings. Healthy relationships don’t blame.
 Don’t assign feelings or motives. Let others speak for themselves. Healthy relationships recognize each person’s
right to explain themselves.
 Stay with the topic. Don’t use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that bothers you. Healthy
relationships don’t use ammunition from the past to fuel the present. Do not generalize and use terms such as
‘you always do this’. ‘you never listen’.
 Say, "I’m sorry" when you’re wrong. It goes a long way in making things right again. Healthy relationships can
admit mistakes without judgment.
 Don’t assume things. When we feel close to someone it’s easy to think we know how he or she thinks and feels.
We can be very wrong! Healthy relationships check things out.
 Ask for help if you need it. Talk with someone who can help you find resolution—like your RA, a counselor, a
teacher, a minister or even parents. Healthy relationships aren’t afraid to ask for help.
 There may not be a resolved ending. Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about some things. Healthy
relationships don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement.
 Don’t hold grudges. You don’t have to accept anything and everything, but don’t hold grudges—they just drain
your energy. Studies show that the more we see the best in others, the better healthy relationships get. Healthy
relationships don’t hold on to past hurts and misunderstandings.
 The goal is for everyone to be a winner. Relationships with winners and losers don’t last. Healthy relationships
are between winners who seek answers to problems together.
 You can leave a relationship. You can choose to move out of a relationship. Studies tell us that loyalty is very
important in good relationships, but healthy relationships are when you think you can manage the way it is
currently, not some hoped-for future development.

7. Show your warmth. Studies tell us warmth is highly valued by most people in their relationships. Healthy
relationships show emotional warmth.
8. Keep your life balanced. Other people help make our lives satisfying but they can’t create that satisfaction for us.
Only you can fill your life. Don’t overload on activities, but do use your time at college to try new things—clubs,
volunteering, lectures, projects. You’ll have more opportunities to meet people and more to share with them. Healthy
relationships aren’t dependent.

9. It’s a process. Sometimes it looks like everyone else is confident and connected. Actually, most people feel just like
you feel, wondering how to fit in and have good relationships. It takes time to meet people and get to know them…so,
make "small talk"…respond to others…smile…keep trying. Healthy relationships can be learned and practiced and keep
getting better!

10. Be yourself! It’s much easier and much more fun to be you than to pretend to be something or someone else.
Sooner or later, it catches up anyway. Healthy relationships are made of real people, not images!

11. Forgive. Forgiveness is not just a cliché; it’s a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy relationships.
However, real forgiveness also means that we are willing to forget the experience. If we forgive one day, but then a few
weeks later bring up the old misdeed, this is not real forgiveness. When we make mistakes, just consider how much we
would appreciate others forgiving and forgetting.

12.Know When to Keep Silent. If you think a friend has a bad or unworkable idea, don’t always argue against it. If they
are sure of what they want to do, just keep silent and let them work things out for themselves. It’s a mistake to always
feel responsible for their actions. You can offer support to friends, but you can’t live their life for them.

13. Right Motive

If you view friendship from the perspective of “what can I get from this?” you are making a big mistake. This kind of
relationship proves very tentative. If you make friendships with the hope of some benefit, you will find that people will
have a similar attitude towards you. This kind of friendship leads to insecurity and jealousy. Furthermore, these fair
weather friends will most likely disappear just when you need them most. Don’t look upon friends with the perspective
“what can I get out of this?”. True friendship should be based on mutual support and good will, irrespective of any
personal gain.

13. Humour
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This does not mean we have to
humiliate ourselves, far from it — it just means we let go of our ego. Humour is often the best antidote for relieving
tense situations. It also goes on to make others feel all of us are humans and all of us have weaknesses.

Module IV: Stress Management

 Understanding of Stress & GAS Model
 Symptoms of Stress
 Individual and Organizational consequences with special focus on health
 Healthy and Unhealthy strategies for stress management
 Social support for stress management and well being
 Stress free, Successful and Happy Life

Stress can be defined as actions and circumstances to which you cannot respond adequately or to which you respond at
the cost of excessive wear and tear on the body.
Stress is an emotional and physical reaction to change.
Stress is defined as “The adverse reaction people have to excessive pressure or other types of demand placed on them”
Stress can act as a creative force that increases drive and energy, but once it reaches a certain degree, the results can be
negative.
Stress is normally experienced as fatigue, anxiety and depression. It is sometimes exhibited when people become hostile
and aggressive. These are all signs or symptoms of stress and the causes or ‘stressors’ need to be identified in the
workplace and eliminated or controlled.
Nature
Due to inappropriate usage, the word stress has assumed bad connotations. In its original sense a stress is neither good
nor bad. It becomes good or bad, desirable or undesirable, healthy or unhealthy depending upon what it does to us. For
example, the demands of an examination could make one child work hard and pass creditably. In the case of another
child the very same examination could appear very demanding and he might end up in a break down, as his resources
are poor. Thus by itself a stressor or a stress is neither good nor bad. They are neutral in nature.
Types :
Distress
When a stressor becomes too demanding or when we do not have adequate resources to meet the demands, we get
‘stressed up’. The stressed up experience is called a ‘Distress’. Distress is bad and unhealthy. Prolonged distress initiates
a number of reactions at the level of the body and mind. As it depletes our resources we become impoverished and
susceptible to diseases and disorders. The child who has poor resources to write an examination falls ill. The executive
who went on worrying depleted his resources and developed hypertension. The housewife spent a sizable portion of her
resources to suppress her constant anger and ended up with bronchial asthma. Thus any stress that becomes distressing
is unhealthy.
Eustress
When a stressor puts demand on our resources and we experience stress that need not always lead to distress. If the
stressor is within limits and we have enough resources we will be able to cope up with the stress. When a stress makes
us cope up with it, there is a feeling of satisfaction and joy. Stresses that make us cope up with them culminate in better
integration of our personality. Such stresses are called ‘Eustress’ or useful stress. The child, who prepared well for the
examination, wrote it effectively and came out successfully experiences better self worth and increased self-esteem. The
examination though a stress had indeed beneficial effects on him. Such beneficial stresses are required for our
motivation and growth. No wonder it is then called a useful stress.
Body Reactions to Stress
When a person is subjected to stress, the body automatically prepares itself to respond – increase in blood pressure,
increase in stomach acids, increase in sweating, dilation of the pupils, etc. If the stress passes, the body will return to
normal. If the stress continues, the body will maintain its preparedness to respond. If this continues too long, it will be
harmful and the body will become exhausted and collapse may occur.
Stages and Models of Stress :
There are three stages a person goes through while suffering from stress.
Alarm Stage: Look at a student's face just before he is going to give an exam. Isn't the fear and tension clearly evident?
When something has just started stressing you and you feel a fight or flight kind of attitude, then you are in the alarm
stage of stress. It is the start up stage which defines the first reaction to the stressor.
Resistance Stage: When a child is sitting in the examination hall and writing his exam, he is bothered about completing it
in time. He is making full efforts to cope with the situation and his whole body is engaged in fighting against the
condition. This is the resistance stage. In this stage, the body keeps making continuous efforts to cope with stress and
therefore feels run down and exhausted. The person starts feeling irritated, over reacts to minor situations and gets
mentally and physically weak. Psychological, physical and behavioral changes are also clearly visible.
Exhaustion
4. Stage: If a student is preparing for his exam and despite of every possible effort, he is not able to relate to his
studies, he is bound to get stressed. The stress could reach a height where he/she may feel completely
 exhausted and helpless to the extent of committing suicide. This is the exhaustion stage. This stage is further
divided into two phases:
Causes and symptoms of stress
Causes of stress vary from person to person. Some common causes of stress can be a death of a family member, illness,
taking care of your family, relationship changes, work, job change, moving and money. Even small things such as long
waits or delays or traffic can cause stress.
Personal
Some of the leading personal causes of stress are:
 Finances; who name finances as the leading cause of stress cite major purchases they have to make, such as a
home or car. Others are stressed by a loss of income, or mounting credit card debt. For some, financial stress
will eventuate in bankruptcy. While college students stress over paying for an education, Baby Boomers and
older senior ci tizens find that retirement income can be a major cause of stress.
 Personal Health and Safety; For some, the stress is linked to obesity, and a desire to lose weight. For others, the
stress is a personal bas habit that affects health and must be changed. For example, smoking, abuse of alcohol or
other drugs. Illness or injury, whether less or more serious, can be a leading cause of stress for many people.
Personal safety is also a leading cause of stress. Women, more than men, tend to stress about their own and
others’ safety. Adults tend to stress more than young people, who may act invincible.
 Personal Relationships; Whether it is a friendship, dating, separation, marriage, divorce, or re-marriage, a
relationship can be a leading cause of stress for many. We all want love, and that is potentially available in
relationships, but getting from A to B can be very stressful. Some resort to online relationships that are easier to
handle. Others withdraw and become recluses. Either way, the demands on time, finances, and emotions can
cause ongoing stress.
 Death; Probably the most wrenching cause of stress is the death of a loved one or close friend. Even the death
of a pet can be stressful.
Organizational
There are 6 risk factors these are:
■ Demands – such as workload, work patterns and the work environment.
■ Control – such as how much say the person has in the way they do their work.
■ Support – such as the encouragement, sponsorship and resources provided by the organisation, line management and
colleagues.
■ Relationships – such as promoting positive working to avoid conflict and dealing with unacceptable behaviour.
■ Role – such as whether people understand their role within the organisation and whether the organisation ensures
that they do not have conflicting roles.
■ Change – such as how organisational change (large or small) is managed and communicated in the organisation. (HSE
2005)
All of the above risk factors appear often highly recognizable within the companies.
Employee Risk Factors: Stress can pose a significant risk to the individual in both mental and physical health. Mental
health risks include depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorders. Physical risk factors include damage to
immune and cardiovascular systems. Stress can also increase the risk of other more serious ill health issues such as Heart
Disease. As identified within the Management Standards high demands within the job such as the working environment
and workload are known to be some of the highest risk factors which have proven to result in stress within any
individual.
Employer Risk Factors: Risk factors for employers can be divided into four main categories these being: Cost, Negative
Public Relations, Legal Obligation/Criminal Prosecution and Civil Action by employees. The risk factors above are often
found within the organisations we have carried out Stress Surveys for. Although employers do have demanding roles we
often find that the most noted form of stress within organizations is found because they have the inability to make
significant changes as ideas are often unsupported and change within the organisation is met with great resilience.
Environmental
Physical
 Noise
 Hot environment
 Cold environment
 Poor lighting/too much lighting
 Organizational Risk factors
 Faulty equipment
 Poorly designed and/or maintained equipment
 Dangerous equipment
 Heavy weights

Importance of stress management

It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will
never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding.
But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is
the foundation of stress management.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your
environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships,
relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.
Strategies for stress management:
Unhealthy ways of coping with stress:
These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:
 Smoking  Using pills or drugs to relax      
 Drinking too much  Sleeping too much
 Overeating or undereating  Procrastinating
 Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or  Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing
computer problems
 Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities  Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry
outbursts, physical violence)

Tips for Coping with Stress

Watch for signs of stress. When they occur, try to avoid the cause or change how you react. Other helpful tips:
• Do something that relaxes you such as: deep and slow breathing, stretching exercises, yoga, a massage, meditation,
listening to music, reading, a hot bath or shower.
• Get a hobby or do something you enjoy.
• Learn to accept things that you cannot change.
• Think positive.
• Set limits. Learn to say no. Take one thing at a time.
• Get 8 hours of sleep each night.
• Eat a healthy diet that includes fruits, vegetables, protein and whole grains.
Limit caffeine and sugar. • Exercise regularly. Exercise will help relax tense muscles, improve your mood
and help you sleep better.
• Talk to your family and friends about your problems. • Do not deal with stress in unhealthy ways such as eating too
much, not eating
enough, using tobacco products, drinking alcohol or using drugs. • Get help from a professional if you need it. A
counselor can help you cope with stress and deal with problems. Your doctor may prescribe medicines to help with sad
feelings, nervousness or trouble sleeping.
Happiness and well-being
Live! Love! Learn!...Capture your bliss
Understanding the determinants of human happiness and well-being is important in the quest for ecological
sustainability (and social justice), because it helps us decide how to best use the limited material throughput available,
and identify what other, non-material factors are important.
 “ happiness” “happiness and contentment”
 “satisfaction with life”
 “emotional health”
 “meeting basic needs”
 “state in which individuals feel competent to influence their lives & context”
 “safe & secure”
 “quality of life”
 “it’s about physical, economic and environmental factors”
 “good social and community relationships”
 “self-esteem”
“confidence”

Module V: Conflict Resolution & Management

 Conflict Resolution Strategies
 Ways of Managing Conflict (Healthy & Unhealthy)
 Impact of Conflict Resolution & Management

Conflict Styles
Conflict is often best understood by examining the consequences of various behaviors at moments in time. These
behaviors are usefully categorized according to conflict styles. Each style is a way to meet one's needs in a dispute but
may impact other people in different ways.

Competing is a style in which one's own needs are advocated over the needs of others. It relies on an aggressive style of
communication, low regard for future relationships, and the exercise of coercive power. Those using a competitive style
tend to seek control over a discussion, in both substance and ground rules. They fear that loss of such control will result
in solutions that fail to meet their needs. Competing tends to result in responses that increase the level of threat.
Accommodating, also known as smoothing, is the opposite of competing. Persons using this style yield their needs to
those of others, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to allow the needs of the group to overwhelm their own, which may
not ever be stated, as preserving the relationship is seen as most important.
Avoiding is a common response to the negative perception of conflict. "Perhaps if we don't bring it up, it will blow over,"
we say to ourselves. But, generally, all that happens is that feelings get pent up, views go unexpressed, and the conflict
festers until it becomes too big to ignore. Like a cancer that may well have been cured if treated early, the conflict grows
and spreads until it kills the relationship. Because needs and concerns go unexpressed, people are often confused,
wondering what went wrong in a relationship.
Compromising is an approach to conflict in which people gain and give in a series of tradeoffs. While satisfactory,
compromise is generally not satisfying. We each remain shaped by our individual perceptions of our needs and don't
necessarily understand the other side very well. We often retain a lack of trust and avoid risk-taking involved in more
collaborative behaviors.
Collaborating is the pooling of individual needs and goals toward a common goal. Often called "win-win problem-
solving," collaboration requires assertive communication and cooperation in order to achieve a better solution than
either individual could have achieved alone. It offers the chance for consensus, the integration of needs, and the
potential to exceed the "budget of possibilities" that previously limited our views of the conflict. It brings new time,
energy, and ideas to resolve the dispute meaningfully
By understanding each style and its consequences, we may normalize the results of our behaviors in various situations.
This is not to say, "Thou shalt collaborate" in a moralizing way, but to indicate the expected consequences of each
approach: If we use a competing style, we might force the others to accept 'our' solution, but this acceptance may be
accompanied by fear and resentment. If we accommodate, the relationship may proceed smoothly, but we may build up
frustrations that our needs are going unmet. If we compromise, we may feel OK about the outcome, but still harbor
resentments in the future. If we collaborate, we may not gain a better solution than a compromise might have yielded,
but we are more likely to feel better about our chances for future understanding and goodwill. And if we avoid
discussing the conflict at all, both parties may remain clueless about the real underlying issues and concerns, only to be
dealing with them in the future.

Five Steps to Conflict Resolution

1. Set the Scene

 Promoting good relationships through mutual respect and courteous behavior is most important.
 Keep the problem separate from the person and debate the real issues.
 Pay attention to each person's interests; listen carefully and respectfully.
 Be open to exploring all options.

In this phase, active listening skills are essential. Restate or paraphrase others’ positions to be sure you hear and
understand them correctly.

2. Gather Information
An important conflict resolution tool, especially in a human resources setting, is the ability to go deeper than the surface
to really get an understanding of an individual’s underlying needs, concerns and point of view. To do this effectively, be
objective – not personal; and try to view your actions from the standpoint of the other person.

Here are four ways to effectively gather information:

 Identify the issues. Be clear and concise; don’t try to solve too many problems at once.
 Listen with empathy. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to really understand how the problem is
affecting him or her.
 Use “I” statements. Rather than starting sentences with “you,” which might sound accusatory or lead to
defensiveness, try conveying only how you feel and what you observe: “I feel that this problem is affecting the work
environment,” or “I’m hearing that this issue is causing you stress outside the office. Is that accurate?”
 Clarify feelings. For instance, don’t assume that a supervisor is angry with a staff person when he actually feels
frustrated about their conflicting communication styles.

3. Agree to the Problem

Conflict resolution skills can only come into play when the true problem is identified. Be sure everyone agrees on what
the problem is before moving forward. Remember that different roles, interests and conflict resolution styles can cause
people to perceive problems very differently. Putting aside individual goals to come to a mutually agreeable and
beneficial solution is an important step in conflict resolution.

4. Brainstorm Possible Solutions

Gathering the involved parties together for a brainstorming session not only helps to resolve the problem quickly, but it
makes everyone feel like they are part of the solution. Here are a few tips for successful brainstorming:
 Be open to all ideas. Think “quantity” over “quality.” You’ll probably discard most ideas before the exercise is over.
 Move quickly. Avoid clarifying or evaluating each idea – either can stop creative thinking in its tracks.
 List every idea. Whoever is listing the ideas should not be in charge of editing them.
 Expand on each other’s ideas. Ask for input from the group – this is where solutions are born.
 Be creative. Allow for out-of-the-box ideas, controversy, and even silly ideas. You never know what will inspire the
thought that can become the actual solution.

5. Negotiate a Solution
By this point, it’s possible that all parties better understand each other’s positions and have resolved the conflict. If not,
it may be necessary to step in and negotiate a mutually satisfying solution.

Negotiation is a strong conflict resolution skill that professionals can apply to countless situations throughout their
careers. By honing your skills in effective conflict resolution, you can help position yourself as a valuable leader in your
organization.