Jamie Sullivan- Diary entry 1

October 3, 1958

Today was the first day of drama class and it could have been better to say the least. I was especially
early to class because Miss Garber had questions about the play. I was fine with that because it made me feel
like I wasn’t the only person besides my father that was so enthusiastic about it. I took my seat in the front row
to the left, as usual. A couple minutes later, in the corner of my eye, I saw Landon Carter walk-in right-on time
before the bell rang. He took a seat at the very back by himself. I sat by Landon in second grade and we only
had a few conversations here and there, but I don’t remember what we talked about. I've heard some awful
things about him but I’m going to get to know him myself because everyone deserves that.
He participated little today but it seemed as if every time I would get up or Miss Garber would
acknowledge me, he seemed to have a sour look on his face. Maybe because he was sitting by Miss Garber's
huge heater and was probably burning up. I thought to myself maybe it’s the lords plan that Landon’s in the
class. I mean it could teach him to work with others and maybe he will be more kind and participate. I felt
really flattered when the class clapped for me today, but I didn’t want to seem like I was bragging so I just
smiled and took my seat. I had a great day today and I am going to add Landon Carter to my prayers in hope
that he will have more joy in class tomorrow.

Diary entry 2
October 7, 1958

I guess you could say I had an eventful Friday, but it was also a good day for me. Today I had a
doctor's appointment and I was honestly very anxious. My Leukemia is defiantly getting worse and my
father is very worried. But he told us that I needed less medication because the treatment was doing well
for me. I could tell it gave my father hope, but I knew my time was coming. After my appointment, we
headed home and a couple of hours later I heard a knock on my door. Surprisingly it was Landon
Carter, the last person I would expect on a Friday evening.
Before greeting me, he took a once over at my plain red blouse and jeans. I tried to dress
casually when I go to the orphanage because sometimes, we go outside and play hop scotch, or I teach
them how to play different games. He looked like he had been exercising and he was sort of panting. He
told me he hadn't, and I believed him but was worried as to why he was sweating profusely. I'll just
make sure I say a prayer for him. We sat on my porch and I offered him a glass of my very own
homemade lemonade. After scanning my porch for a couple minutes and moving his chair around, he
decided to make conversation. I could tell he was uncomfortable when he mentioned the weather,
although it was nice out today. I asked why he really came here and what he said surprised me. He
asked me if I was going to the homecoming dance, I never go to dances, so I told him I wasn’t planning
on it. He then asked me if I wanted to go with him and I told him yes, but that he can't fall in love with
me, I had a strange feeling he would anyways.
 Diary entry 3
October 30, 1958

Today is Saturday, the day of the dance. I'm waiting for Landon to arrive, but I wonder what my
dad will speak to him about, sure hope he's nice. I decided to leave my hair in a bun and I'm wearing my
nicest blue skirt and a white blouse. I was thinking about wearing something a bit plainer, but I wanted
my very first Homecoming dance with a boy to be special. I'm going to pray for a fun night and defiantly
a memorable one.
The dance was defiantly what I hoped for. For starters the decorations and the scheme were so
amazing. It looked nice, better than I had imagined. I hope Landon could help us decorate the church
one day, I'm sure my father would be glad if it looked nice. Landon is so considerate for agreeing to
helping decorate the church, it meant a lot to me. We danced a whole lot and I loved it and it made me
wonder why I don’t dance more often. We even had great conversations and Landon seemed like a great
listener. Later that night we got to help a girl Landon knows named Angela out. She had too much to
drink and was very sick. It wasn’t so pretty cleaning it up but I'm glad we could help her stay out of
trouble. When we dropped her off and then arrived at my house, I couldn’t help but to think about how
the night was so great. I thanked Landon, but I hope he also had a good time. Tonight, was one I’ll
always cherish for the time I have left.

Diary entry 4

November 14,1958
The dance was two weeks ago and all I could really think about was last night and how great of
a time I had at the dance. Landon had been so nice, and my prayers are paying off. I decided to talk to
my father about seeing if Landon would play the role of Tom Thornton. Currently, Eddie Jones has the
role because he's the only boy who would could play his part, but you can see the uneasiness on his
face. After spending time with Landon, I figured he would be the perfect person to play the part. My dad
argued that he would make a fool of the play and not take it seriously. But I reminded him what he tells
me, “at least give it a chance Jamie”. He decided it would be okay and I truly hope Landon will
volunteer for the role.
I'm so happy Landon agreed to play the role of Tom Thornton!! He didn’t want to at first, but he
changed his mind. He must have been nervous he wouldn’t satisfy me with his acting skills, but I know
he’ll be just fine. It makes me so glad that he’s doing this for me and I know how much it means to my
father. I was also hoping it would be special because it could be the last play that I'm in and it's all that
I can really give my dad. But I am not telling Landon that, I just want everything to be as normal as
possible.
 Diary entry 5
November 28, 1958

I have been so busy rehearsing and preparing myself for the play that I haven't written. Nothing
has really happened though, pretty uneventful. But I am a little uneasy because I feel like Landon isn't
taking the play as serious as I am and I'm worrying about him. He doesn’t seem comfortable with doing
the play and Eddie is even doing better than him. I get the sense that he doesn’t want to be my friend
and I know that sounds childish but today he really showed me how he feels.
Today I was just going for I walk to think about all of this and as I crossed the street in front of
Cecil’s diner, I looked over at it just to see Landon and his friends. I figured if I approached him, he
wouldn’t be rude, I mean I didn’t do anything. I could see them looking at me and teasing Landon as I
approached them leaving a scowl on his face. I told Landon and his friends hello even though I could
tell I wasn’t welcome I still wanted to be nice. I noticed Eric moved his beer behind his back. We used to
be neighbors, so I tried to start conversation. He admitted he hadn't been to church lately and I pray
that changes. I noticed that when I thanked Landon for volunteering for the play his face turned sort of
pale and Eric cocked a brow up at him. Throughout our conversation more came out and I'm assuming
he lied to his friends or failed to mention we were friends because he’s ashamed. I pray he realizes that
I mean good and I hope he can stop hiding to his friends.

Diary entry 6
November 29, 1958

Today Landon and I proposed an idea to preform our play for the orphans. She agreed, and we
got the rest of the class to play their roles as well. That just made it perfect because it will be so much
more special if it is a full cast. As planned, me and Landon went to the orphanage to propose our idea
to Mr. Jenkins. But before that we walked to Landon’s house to pick up his mom's care, so we could
drive to Morehead city. The house was so big and had a lot of nice things inside. I was so shocked while
taking in my surroundings, I mean id never been in a house that nice. The furniture was all mahogany
and designed for each room. Landon gave me a tour and I couldn't stop dreaming about living in a
house like this. Sadly, I'll probably never get the chance.
The orphanage director told us the play would not be a good idea and I was so heartbroken, but
now I understand why. The play is about father who comes to the realization that he loves his daughter
and it would hit close to home for the kids. I never really thought about that and now I feel guilty
because I should have known. But he told us we could visit Christmas Eve which is okay too. Before we
left, we played with the kids. It made me so happy to see Landon playing with the kids and I am still
going to pray for him, but I feel like his heart has opened. I told him how my one wish was to get
married, and that this Christmas was very important to me. He questioned why this Christmas was so
important to me and I felt bad for not telling him the truth, that this might be my last Christmas. I
honestly still want everything to just be normal, I don’t want Landon to worry or pity me.

Diary entry 7
November 12, 1958

The past couple days, Landon has walked me home. We had conversations, good ones actually,
and it seemed like everything was going well. We talked about, my father, I asked Landon what he likes
to do in his free time, and we just made small talk. He did seem anxious about the play but not too bad.
Today we rehearsed at the playhouse and I noticed Landon seemed out of it and didn’t really do
anything. We had everything ready for the play, but Landon just seemed out of it. I figured he was just
nervous, but I asked him about. He snapped at me, so I figured he must be anxious about the play and
doesn’t want to say anything. He told me he had been hauling things all day, hadn't eaten, and had the
burden of walking home. It didn’t hurt me because I knew he was saying it out of anger. But he took
things too far.
Landon told me he regretted doing the play and it was stupid. He told me he didn’t want to walk
me home or be friends with me. He said he’s tired of his friends talking about him and he had the nerve
to say me and him weren't friends. I simply told him “I get it” and thanked him for walking me home. I
just said goodnight to my dad and went straight to bed. I didn’t want to worry him. I prayed that Landon
will be okay and that he won't be hateful enough to quit the play, it would truly break my heart and my
fathers. I get it, that’s how he feels about me, but it hurt me so much and made me feel like a fool. This
whole time I thought Landon Carter had changed but I was wrong.
 Diary entry 8
November 14, 1958

Today is the day of the play. I'm not going to think about what Landon told me the other night,
I'm sure he feels guilty enough. But I do avoid him in the hallways, I don’t need his apology right now I
just want to focus on the play.I really hope the play satisfies my father and makes him proud and happy.
I've rehearsed my lines thousands of times, but I still feel like they aren't perfect. I sat on the porch with
my father to clear my mind. He assured me that it will be perfect, and he said he knows I will do
amazing no matter what. I appreciate him so much and I will defiantly miss him. The play is in an hour,
but it feels like time is going so slow because I'm so anxious. Wish me luck, I really want this play to be
special.
I couldn’t be more relieved; the play was amazing. It made my father so happy and the crowd
loved it. It feels as if a huge weight has lifted off me. To do one last thing to make my father happy with
something that means so much to him just gives me unexplainable joy. Aside from the play, Landon
apologized to me. He sounded so sincere and it defiantly made me feel better right before the play. I
thanked him for the play and I hope he knows how much it means to me that he did so amazing in the
play. I'm just so swelled with joy and it feels like everything in my life has almost fallen into
place...aside from the fact that soon enough, I won't have this life anymore, I'll be in heaven and I'm
okay with that. Everyone's time comes.