LET YOUR LIFE SPEAK Listening for the Voice of VocationListening to Life Fre comein isto yt ag nde hae el lp tek sng ne ora mat outed Ica tum nd oh be len ered mit Wenn tess ae gig em dey ‘etd teste cy be Wha teers hi ot “hab me whether what Ihave dane it my Me” Fr same, hou words wil e onsen, nting mare than» post lone way wh language aed lege OF soon what Ihave donee sy el To wht a sped compat ‘But for ote, and am one, the poets wor wll be pri, piecing, aging, They remind me of moments when ii esti U have eyes 1 eta the fe 1amIsing nthe same a the ie ht watt Hen men thre moments sometimes each «gimp of my tre i, x Ie hidden ite the river Rena the ie. And in the pint ff the poet wonder: What am meant? Who am meat tobe? 1 vat in my ely this when I began, Kel © wale up to qutios about my van By ll ppeance, things wee gong wel bt the soul des oa pt mich tock in spans. Seeking path mote pups than accom wealth, holding power, winning at competition, oF searing » er, [ad stated to understand that indeed posible ole He ober than ones own. Fel tha Uwas doing jst ht—bat uncertsin about dhe dept, er eI sed den iside me ncetain wheter wat vel ot ratty or within each=I would sap sake i he mide ofthe night and are er Tong Rous a the cling “Them Irn sre the old skein. “Let youre ypeik” | fond that wore encouraging. and I nag undentna what they meant. Let the highest tt and lee vide you Ln opto those demanding tna in eventing you de” Becrce | hd heme atthe fine whe seemed to be ding erly da thi exhation had incarnate mening For met ment Ing Mee tat of Matin Later King J ¢ Rest Pats or Mahataa Gandhi or Dorothy Dey a Me of hgh purer So lined up the lofiet eas | could Sod and set out a ahi then. The sets weve rely amiable, afer Lagible, and samctines ogee Bat sways they were ‘nel a dsoion of my uve seas rst be the ese wien one Ives fom the oui, atthe ine ot I had simply found note” way To Ihe 2 Me ha we ot sy Om, = ite pent itating hres nad of itening to my ea. “ois, some tie yeas ae, “Let your lle speak” means somebing che 0 me. a meaning Hill Both w the ambiy of thse words and Lo tbe complet of my owe ‘perienr: Bef ou el our he hat you intend t do with t,t for what i mend to do with you. Before you te yur ie wht ths anaes you ive deed fo Ive 371 let your Me tel you what wuts you embody, what aloes you repel” [My youth undetandng of “Let youre pak ed me o cane up te highest vas ¥ cold imagine and then ty to conform my ie te them whee they were mine ot ot tat sounds ike what wae supped f do with vac it bean thal what we ace to fen tug. hoe x xmplitc brand af moa among at wet fo ted the heal Me to making + bit checking tice—asn the deri ome being book of vitae perp—snd then tpg ny a be not nang bat ie ‘There may be moment in ie when we aes unformed tht we need oan ales ke an enileton to hsp fom ellen, Ba smshing i ey ong i such moments ree len in alto. Tying te ive someone ee’ ie, of hv by om abst orm inibl and may ern do et dnoge ‘ection, dh way I wae eng becomes an et of wl, «gi dination that one's wl got wy ott whether wat oor nt lf sen ad wil to oth and godine ely under dare tha sppoch to woeton mes sna, Bu the sl scl nt paaogy ba wholnesy,aUBlee i oes, then the will post of ocsian an ac of wlan tui obnchee—vilese i the ame of ion that, ene ly i Sted om the sel om thao athe than pou frm whine sal when btw alas est ws, sometimes a great eo lng our vers check wnt we honr it tateatin doesnot came fom wlulne. comes fom lntenig. | mat lite o my Mand ty undentand what aly abouts apt fom what weld ie be shooter hi wl never tere serhing e de mod, rater haw ere wy ienton. That ashi iden inthe word vest Hl. which sedi the Lair “wie” Voeston det no mesa a gal the psue I means a eng dat hear Bene Lean tell my fe what tanto do nh & mu nent my Me tling me who am. L mut ten for th tnt and ves a he Rea. of my own ieniy, ot the sanduds by wb {wat lve but the ard by which canot bp but Ie Um Bring ny er ie Behind this andetandng of vot 2th that the go dos not want to eae bean i ets the ei: evenone at fe tt see! fom the" of diy comin ie Hat i ying one teagh the “who et wen This what the poet kno ad what ey wr ion teaches there it st gl beeen te ay yea want to dently me, wth te ptetve masa selfening Sto, and my ue sl Ie takes time and bard experince seme the dierence beeen the two ste that rnning ben the sre of the epesience I cl my ie, thre a deper ad tee Me wating tbe ackowlege That Gc alone make “atn oyour Me” il ssa o Glow. The Bul conponded bythe Gt tat fem ou Bt days ch, we te tg fin lo eonthng ad eveyone but cas, to ke aller eles aboot bing fm he peopl and powes aad {ometies lend ret and fom time okie pnicpet show me te sts hey ae taking 2 the eet wn, The pate isa univer. people take coisas on shat the retest ede as. at hey sometimes tbe oes om the word of ean we people in Ue grup, bat rey fee, do Uy tke ces on wht they ems 3, We Tan fr guilance erry excep fom witha, | ge ettentant fe tr tr notealing round, becuse the wore we speak cen contin counsel we ae tying te ge uae. We Kae a ange cone ia our cue that simply Because we have sid something we undentnd whit mean! Bot oer we do ot—epecialy when we sper fm a deeper pce than inlet oreo, peak the ind of ‘wd tat are when the incr teacher fee fe eomgh ol ts th AB thse momen, we need o lite Yo what out Ie ae saying and tke sae on lt we forget ur oom (rather deny ht we eve ead Vetting atthe only may our ee speak, of coune They setk hough our aeons and eaten, aur sins and asin, our Fang etd bodily ste of being pesiaps more petoundly than tough ou words WE ae ke pl, fll af topos at draw ws toward certain experiences and eel us om aes If we can Team ered our o¥n ‘onc nour wm erence et we ne wating uncon eey dayne pend om ah wil es he guidence we need fo Tie ove ten lee Bot 1am to tay ie peak things I want Bes, things I woul ly tellers mst sk let peak tinge Jono matt hear apd would eter tl aya ell My ei not ony bat my sega its, al bout my abies and my Lm, my tga andy shadom An inerable though afer nored Smenion of the Qufoe “lees i tht we nt erace what we dite find shisha ure wt eae cont and rod of Tht why the pe sy, ek me me ave made” In the dates © come Topeak fen of rym mister wrong ts Tava, of mivedigs of my own rior hier dhe moments se inp eae Yo sy wocaton 1 ont fel dependent abt my mikes, any more than the pact dc, ough {gir he pin hey hive sometines cated when Our ves ae “epesinets seth eth (to Bonow the able of Gandhi’ abigaply). and in an expect agave rel area Teast a npr 5 cee [have dea how 1 would lave learned he tnth about mys and my calling witout the miles Ihave mice, hough by tat mast hold lve writen 2 mich longer ook in wag hat dot work very well hen the sce the hur ng enugh plea the Fi Amendment. At wont # wil jmp bal aed How we att Tne to our ns qution worth exling, Ion el, eld te gh ifn souk: he sods nck ropernve to mbpoencs er ernie At be it wil dard in the dock ely ever Be ead fe again. The soul seals ath nly under quiet lvitng and tnsvory eondtons The soul i ke» wl aimal—tough resent. my, efficient, and yet exceeding shy. I we want se » wl anima, de Ta hing we sould do is wo go ening hough the wood shosting forthe eves to came ot But f we ae wing 19 walk qd int the wosde and wiley fram roo a he hase of te, the rete wee wating for may well seg, ad ot of the cme af an eye we wl cach lap of the precious does we sek “hate why he poem atthe bead ofthis chap nds in ence—nd why 1 find it» bit embaasng tht a he cape end, tam drawing the sade at twa ence bat toward pech, pg afer pape of speech! I hope ht ey apse i ith o what Ihave ed nthe lence, om my rel. Ad I bop da herr whois wit th bosk cn es the sence tht shah rounds ithe witing nd rexding of words Ie = alene tht forever mist ut tho the mesing of ur lnet—end fever teminds of eps of meaning that words will err touchC& carrer 1 Now I Become Myself [A VISION OF VOCATION Wah tepane nord, casa choen and ally oven, May Sarton eck the qu fr wean —a! let, my que! fr weston wih candor and pein "he ben cel dan, Wom ther ples ewe! ‘What 4 oeg tine can ako some the peon one ha slay Ben! How cen i the roses we mk sees in htt tha ae not our own, How mich dang and shaking of ego we mt endure bere we dco ew dep Heniy—the esl within every fama being that the wed of aubentc vocon | it learned aboot sosaon growing wp inthe cure, ae ch about the gs tito in which {wt eid thai about i own soni, rept fr the ‘ods dey concem fr ane il the ie of "won {pce up in Be ces ese dorm ool | gw song ennugh fo dic! mean the da that wea, or eallng, came om 4 woke eal to oun, a vce of mol demand tat a ut to become someone we ate at yet—omcone den, srw betes, sens fat yan ur wach “Tat concept of ation veda dsp tat of stud a the le that the sf sl wl aus be * sl HKY nl cece by eternal fret af vite I 4tion tht deme fel inadequate tothe tk of Unig ny om l,eeting gi south tins btwn who Iwas ad wh 1 owed to oe the pe spp Wo be, lving me ested 9 1 Tidy, Lundesand_vcston quite dierenty—no a a gual w be achieved bot asa git w be reccied Dscmerngwoation des not mean scrambling toward some pie jst eyed ny seach bul astepting the eau of tate Ualeady pone Vrain doe nt come fom a wie “oo he” caling melo become seth tmnt comes fem » sete“ ht” sling met be the pen wat bon i be, the origina lod gen me a buh by God ea ange i hin bithisht af of self Accepting i tums out be cien more demanding than atemping fo become someone ee! I Ive sometime pond f tht ema by ignoing the gf, © hiding, & Being fom 8, or squndering tnd | think {am not alone Thee ix = Hani tle that reve, wh amazing bevy, Ath the tral tendency to rant to be someone eae ad the lime importa of becoming ane elf Rabi Zana, when he was an old ra, ai ln dhe coming woe, hey wll ot tak me:"Why were you not Moses” They wil ak me: ‘Wy wee you not Ziya?™ AE yo dob ht we all aie in hn wok wth gle ad gi py tein oan ind or «wero hil A ew yt a, ey degtor wo her neon bby ea ne with me fora hia Watching ay gandsuper om her edo en eat, sl, my sey Bis, t ce samen tat had lade meat a benisomething pet yrds ave in the wood 2 thi Kd of perc rates thn thet or het ode Shed not show up a aw marl 1 be shaped to whales ime he wold might wast he to take. She aie with her own gid frm, wth the shape of her ow sad soul Bi! fh call the kiage of Cod in which meat all cise. Thoves Merton ali toe self Qua call the inner ght or “hat of Cad” every pron The amas tation call identi and itp No mater wht you cll i peal of git pee In those cay das of my gaddnuphters Wie, {began obseving the ication and pocvities tat wee planed inher at bith {nocd ad til ice, what she Hes and Ets, hat she denn tovard ad replied by, bow ake moves, what she dc, what he as am guherng my stern ins Iter. When my andar seahes bor bie ten or ely tentin, wll ake ee that ny ter Gnd is way to he, with prefce Te thr “Here + atch af ho you were fom your cat dein Bis word i nt Afi pcte—ony you con ow Gat. Bt worsted by » pen nh lave you very much Fethips tse toe wil Help you do sooer sting your gander only er remember wh 404 were when yo at avd and rel the git of re ae somthin We rive inthis wr wth igh gis—then we spend the fit half of on ves sbandonng the o eng oes dibuse uo them. AB young pepe, we ae surounded by expectation that may ve itl 1 do with who we rely a, expectations hel by people whe ae net tying to dice our sled butt iu nto sets In fii, schol, sorigles and religions commriti, we are ined sway fom te elf toward image of aera, under socal pesnes Hts rca ad terion eu ginal supe deredyan ceagito; and we ouch deen Wy Fer. os an bey te sl opin the appr of athe ‘We ate dsb of orignal ifdne in the Set half of on ner Then — if we ate ae, sar, al able at oor ou ne spend the sso half ying to cover ad reli heft we ace pase ‘When we le tack of te sl bow can we ch ap the ti? One way ic sch les in nics om our younger year, yea hen we led clr A ou bithight git A few yen ae, Ufo some ccs to mpl in Sime machine of srk A fiend vent ome ated coy af ny high achoo! newpaper ome May 1957 im hich 1 had born ineiewed about what Uintnded todo with mye. With the cefuinty o be eget of + high acho snk, Ld the inter Hal I would become + anal aster and then take up ee in aver 1 wat indeed “wearing other people’ ms” ad Ica tell ou exact whos hey were: My fer worked with x mam who fd once een nay pt He wo rh chasms, rome, filo the wld be ender a +f sae ofthe Harney and nated oe ie hin The aber of oe of ey bod Kents wa ia aden, Yeu eae ons peng, which ws tn Buon dawn fr my tase a yeu forthe fst ea aod ter Inge ts tat seemed w beth acess of hs slo! “Thee se prpheci, sre over day ym oi, om wy mingabed fr yor who een brome le, « woukbbe pn « tar, adm scr Tle Hi they arate how ely in ile we cn le tack of who we ate Bu ingle Brough helene of ptadon, iy deste to Become an avr and an deta con lus 10 the ore a re sl that woul take my ya emerge: ce by dein re coded nd me be despre Hiden in ny dese © became a “ed man" was 4 ion faciation wih lnguae and 6 power 1 pesule, the same fina dat bas Let ee wing nce for dene Hiden in my dei to became # nia avisor was smcing more complex pesoalenggement wih the problem of vinknce ht expe Wel at int im mia fi te avd then, ovr psd ef many yay shed uel nthe pion I spe to fd, When I ip the cnn of erty hel oso tiling cho, {Bd the pedo "oppose hat merge a the ys sent by Lo father tak oan caer age of my ie the clas need le deiperng Wo ye ash no ay bitte and callings Ia gnde schoo, [became Eacintd with the mses of Fgh A many bye lim tote dys, pet ene: Hou, ar school anon wend, dexgingcrfing, Bing, and (lh eshing mods splines made of ape ts wood Ualite most bye, howe, Hao spent lng ous tang eight and che page hak aout ation. would tr sheet of paper sews; ew a veal ie ow the mi le ake daar of nthe crmseson of «wing ol dhe abet ints type and peck out» caption expliing how seman aco a ail rene 3 vaca hat He the plone Then I wold fl thse nlf along wih svelte dade, spe the eleon loge down the pine ted pian laa the cora alae thought ht the easing of tis pperwot was avoir ciate wth Aight, Late o be x plo lent an sect engines Bat recent when | foond 2 eaupe of those Merry ais an ald adhe bos, sud sav the ah and twas more abriw Un (Had ged dat want to be spt ean ston eng eer orang ee related aviation. wanted be an autor, to make books—e tak hve een atemping fom the thi gade ths very moment From he being, aunt by own ee tooled and voration, dag he ce ny be halt decide But tying to inte then pron woe —empcily when we ate in ur frets a hie fin, ling prsburdly lt hevng wandered, or Been depp, nay fm ote Sthght pe “Those cosa elf n counteracting the convertion concept of sean, whichis hit out Test Be diven by “ought” A noble a tit may sound, we donot Bd cou ang: by conleming suathe ose aint mon code. We Sad our clings by cling authentic elbeod, by being who we ae by dveling inthe wold a aay rather ‘hun slang be Mover The deepest tetonal quston isnot “Wha ot Uo de mh my?” 1 the one sent nd demanding “Who an 1 Wa my ane?” Eventing in the wnivene haa mtr, which mean it well plete, 2 uh well non by pecple who work diy withthe thing of the word. Mabig pte, ‘ample iaier mene than ting the clay what to become, The ely pteses buck on he poters hands, ling her what ean and ennot ad i she ft ten, te ‘outcome wil be bah fil and unginly.Enginering ives te than teling materi what ey mist do I the engineer dcr nator the sate o Ihe sel rth wie ot the ‘tne his ure wil go well beyond seth the ridge or the Buin wl clips and put human ei ps ‘Ta harman sf so hae mtr, wll pel Ifyou sek ton without ndttandig the mer you ae verking with wat yu ud with your ie wil be snginly and ay well ut Ins in pel, your owe and some of the woud you. “Fling in the service af high ae i no we and as sain o do with veaton I an Ign, smeime anogat, tempt 16 oeride one nt, and wl always il (ur depot ling i to ge no out om authentic sled, whee ost i cones some tage of ho we ough 9 be Ame dos, ne ill ot cb Bo he oy Ua ery aman bring seck—ve wl a Bind or ith of auhene sence nthe world. Tie, setton fie sel and em, a Frdeick Boerne arb shen deine oeton m “he place whee yor dcp gladness mec the wos dep nek Buechrers efitin srs withthe self mores toward the neds of the wo i ep, wily, whee vrton bein—not in what the wad eed abich i nehing), bat i the nae of the aman sl i wht bingy heal jy the deep yf Knowing at we ae hee on cht be the ie tat God created Conary tthe conventions of aur hin monic cut, Hs emphasis on panes and slid ot selfsh The Qoaer teacher Doug Stet wt ond of saying that the ancient faman queso "Who am (ede neil to he equally portant ueston“Whove am 1?—for ther no wfc out of slatonhip We mst ak the queson fell and tower a honey a we can, no mater whet aes Only awe dv cn we dicve the community of oor HinesAU Tam mote abut the seed of tu elf tat wa planted when I bor, Iso am mote aot the eontem in which Hwa plated—the autor of communal raion in whch am cal ole repomivey acount 08 jl wh Beings of ery srt Only when 1 know both seed aed sem, sel and commun, can {embody the reat commandment lve beh my seghtor and mele JOURNEY INTO DARKNESS Mow of aie at» sense of elf and von oly afer along jruracy tough len lan Bot thi journey Beano semblance t the ables “ware package” sl by the tow indus Is mote ain w the eneat waitin of pigiage"staarmate ouey ta sited cent” fl of has, dares, and pel” In the talon of pilimage, the hap re ten nat 2 acienl ul at ines othe joey iba Trecherstesin, bd wether tang fll geting lotchallenge af that srt. beyond ont eon. om stip the ap of the lin tha en chage and mk ce fo te elf erg fit hapa, te pgm haa beter cance fal he sce center eo be seks Disbucl f ou isons by mach tel and al, we aah ane day o od tat He sce center ese and sown cry ween of the jure, eveyone wold around and deep within our owt hes Bt bore we coe to ti cn, fall fight we mst val ine dr Dc ro the hse of the tye ilrige hat pomp of lvtne and ioy—bat i the pat ofthe stony mot in Tul. When we Bly cape the dna and stl nto the Kg i tempting fo el tee that ot ope never aged to deny He lng nights we spent covering ee ‘The experince of dein fs been een my caring ots selfhood nd ling Hh wah out at fact sme say in tbe Hh Bat I want ol hat tah for anther reton owl ay young pone Indy une in the dik he young shay hve, sd meee do ther a diner hn we wield the dadomy pat of ou Ine When | se yup. hee nese vey fuer wing tlk seat the dane, mnt of them pretended that scces wal they Bad eter Hon As the dens gin t devend on me in yea ents | tought had Sse a igo and teal ese of fae id tres hat had merely embaed on 4 ouney twa oning the ean ac ‘The sony af my jury 0 mote oles prt than anyone es 1 simply the Bet once of des have on 2 subject whee genetions fen ail but wth may be found in th dt U wan toenre +f det of my tne, and tal, eating sre nights about vest a I ge do 0 ply an fing of honey the young sed ply at reminder to sone ha eed that he nuances af penal rience conn mack piace tomar seloed and vestonMy jury ito dames opaein sult places {grew up in = Chisegoasburh and went Jo Calton Callegs in Minna pln lace whew {found new fest wear—foes more Uke my own than the ane T donee in high schoo, but sl the aes of tir people. Weaving one of them. I went fom cage nether tothe nny nor Madson Aembe but © Union Theological Serinany in New Yo Ci, at ceria tht the minty as cw my cling a6 I had been few yeas ener about sbeing and Sot came a peat shock when, a the ed of my ft year, Cad ge to me—in them af melee grades and mauve miary—and informed me ht under no cantons vr Te become an onsinel leader in His o Her crch. Ans rion 1 autho, a oe wis if aed in the Bis, eR Union ad went west the Usiserty af Califia 2 rey There I spent mach af heater wating 3 PD i sncilegy apd leming 9 be not i 0 rane thot Bekele inthe sities was. of coe, an astounding mit of shadow and light But contay to the curent yh, many of us were less seduced by the shadow than drawn by the light coming aay fom tht tne snd place wih lon sense of hope elng fer cman, «pasion fr social change ‘Thoogh Ih fr Oo yer inthe mide of graduate acho, dicoeing at lved teching ad wat good at, my Belle expen etme cominced that 4 univerty carer would be #copent | fl ald intend to work on "we shan crix” So-nhes | Tet Berle in the Ite ie end lap soking me, "Why do you want to g> back to Areria?™—1 ako le vedo hie Teed, et ona white oe name ight sh high hors) il of sige inition about the seems core, hldng ala he fan Ing svar of uh mould o Washo, DC, what | bsame ac planer la ammntyonaniee What 1 eared about the wocd flom that wove war the mbit ofan eter book” What {leamed aboot wean is ow on ws can do bate wih ane ea lt ‘sony compelled 49 wsk on the abn rb, bat doing so went psn = owing serie tat teaching might be my seen. My heat waned to keep teaching. bat my ‘thicr—taced ely wth get ane twas supped ie the iy How cold (een tbe eontadeten betwen the to? ‘ee bo yar of communiy ngpising, with all Souci cette, Geen Unity aed me fealy potone tat nat cee met et off my hie Hone logue “We dnt want yout bon cmp all we eng” sid the dau, “We wot you te gel oor stn ievled inthe commit Heh lenretach pein hing tnimam of ches and no requirement fo sre on eormitees Keep wecing nthe cammuniy and fae our sudens out tere wih you" The prt about no commitees seemed ike 2 gf fom God, 1 ace Geogouns oe and tegn invohing unéergadats in community erating But T son found an ven big it iden inthis aangement By ooking anew at ny coma werk hgh the lee of eduction, tw thal as an orice I dl never topped being» lxches ‘rs simply teeing i + clasoom out walls I ct could ave done no ote eching | as coming undentand cmy mative may of Bing in the worl Make mea clei a CEO, « posto oii, ad techingis what 1 wll Teaching atthe Beet of my seston snd will mans elf in say ole 1 ply Georgetown’ vain slowed me Lo take my Bt step ewan embracing this th, tomtd 2 Melo eplonton of “edesion ula ‘But ce this way of refaming ry work could oot alr the Get that there a 3 finda mi betwen the oughandumble of ong and my own ory sentie rate Afer fre yen of confit ad competion, | bamed out I was to thinsined to make = good comity ognize wcstns rach had eceded my gop ad Ba Aven more bythe “gh af the ban ethan y a ee of te el Lacking nigh Sto my ow Tandon, Uhl alowed gy and hi old me it + iain "het my sol could at abide 1 ws dipped in mysl fr aot being tugh enh tke the fuk, Sapp and ahamed But ax pins mus dice if they ate complet heir ue weal uh by our weiss 2 well you senglis I needed ole commaniy oping fr 4 reson Tigh ve have acaowedge had Unt been thinskinaed and buses tongues, 1 wae tying tae pope To place where Lhd newer been mye pace calle commun IF Iwan 9 do communieaed work wh inte 1 needed Sepa imenion in cmimanity Hh | had eaprenced to ut pine, 1 em hie, mie, and male—not exit leding snd for + comrnl i. Pyle Iie me ae raed 6 Ine autsnomaty, ast medepndey. had been tied te compete and win aed (had developed tate fc the pris. But something in me eae Wo experience communion, not compton, and that smching might never hare made inf Koown ad bret ot fred me seek ster wy, So Eosk » yslng sbbatca fom my workin Washington and wat t + place clled Pendle Hil ouuide of Pilla Pounded in 190, Pile il Quaker Iningand ering community of sme seventy people whore mini io aller edaton abut the ine oumey, nome socal chang, andthe connection betcen the wo It ic 2 vlltine experiment in Quaker ith and practice where rides rove hough 2 daily round of communal ie workiping in slence each moming: shaving three meal» day. ‘neagng in sey. physical work, decison making and sacl outreach. It commune, an asham, a wane. a 2endo, © Bbutuhatwr one cls Pendle Hill ws 9 We lke ating I had eer Lowen Moving thre wat Khe moving to Mantes alien bt profoundly compeling 1 thought I wuld ay fr jut a yea and then go back to Washingon and reune my wk at ‘ese mp sbi ended Uma init fo become Pele Hills dean of sie I stayed on for acter decade, Lig in commaniy and entining my experiment with alma imeel of eden, was a ansomatnepusape fe me, peony, ptesionaly apd spall: in tenet now how imputed I would have Been witout it Bu ely oi Mat pase began to hve desp and psinfl dou about the teary of my vocation. Thogh fel alld Yo way a Pendle Hil ao feared Wt I had sepped of the edge ofthe Kroon wold and was a ok of dbappearing pefesonllyFrom high colon ad heen snowed by expctans that I would acend 1 me srt of mar ladenip, When {wat menting, the pele of + preniginasellege ited me in Bely i rect me oe his Dard af tes He ar ding ihe jked, beat 9 one on that bard as we ny lt aloe hy woe ail nat one af them Id ‘bhi feud spy prt ofthe Berkley anirm. Then he sed. Inet. ing this becse sme dy youll be «clege present of tht Fin ce—snd ening 1 rue i an important pt of your appentiehip”Laceped hi iain Bcae Il eta that he at ight So hall» dven yes ner, wht wis I doing st Pendle Hil,» “sommane” known t few on by an at eg com- many Ha! mos people cam Hey only by thi sotmealuhich, Uh 248, rt aly made by Onakon? 17 tall you uhat fae ding I wat inthe cf stop ming mug at weighed mw and looked wor than the clay thay I made in gude schon, nd I wat vending hee onesie home agit fo my Ely My fer, rest hit el, wat the fne chine bine, and I wat sending him mug sn ens you eos ll hem ath oe sed no fed any dierece in weit Family and fends wee aking me—d {wat aking myelf—"Why dd you gtx PAD i this x what yoo ae ging do? Arn yo squandering your paris and” Under tha st of seri, oy vocational decion J wath and sic; whats oor, wa tengo at eg ie mie Ut Rn dese fo dapper and every dee be succeed and Become well oun Did I wan to go o Pendle Hilt heat Pendle Hil to ty at Perle Ml | canst sey het Id But I can ay wih cetinty at Pendle Hil as smeting Ut alt et Veration ats deepest lel not, "Ob, bo, do U want to go te ti stage place where [hve to lean new way te Ine and where no one, clang ie, aodecands what 1m dong” Vocation t deepest lee i, “Th mmuthing ta not do, oy tens Tin onble explain 10 anyone ele and dont flv adentand msl but that are acethle comping ‘Aad yet ven with hi ee of mation, ny dubs mui, One dy I wabed fm Rendle Hil ough the woods to a neu callige campo, out foro snl sll bt canyng my aor wth me On sme fgaten whi, I nent ink the cllegt main adnan bing Thee in theft, ng several er pris of pat presents of that into. One af them a the se man who 8 preient oF another into, hal come ott Bekele to recite fr his boed of steam who, iy gion, ‘snow wing down at we wh x dep dipping ok on hace “What do you tink yout wp 4? Why se you wang your ne? Cet back on tack bee ito he! 1am lr dat builing back nl the woods and wet for + kong tne, Peps this moment reciiid the decent ink dene ha a ben a cent tomy voraionl inwney, + sent at it Btom inthe agg with ciel depenne Mat ¥ wll wate abut later inthis ook, But wheter that is he eae o ot the amet wat lge ithhing eed olen could len only by ging int the dc In hat moment all he ibe rr aboot why [od et academic fe called sound me, ad wa eft with thing more ha the reality of my own fe Uhl nied, to ysl a wll roe, tat Cwatt of heavy because it wn nf for human Iban It ma U argued «plat of convpon and apes, fled wih lcs tho sade the cc tpenlites ae yet eluimed sper oer ona flr—the very fells who ak f poner and pegs eampalled tem to soler the rapenaiites thet ep on ssi inte 1 show complain snund oma i ony Bees thy ae They wee the accel pes of Beil in the site, which—for rests I row wrdetesd—t eagerly tembeaed 5 ry own. Whee halts abot the univety my cman may hve cone, they sevel me primal as + mileadng nd sellseving explanation of why U Bed sexdeme fe “The thi Gt 1 fl BecaeI wssnid—aiad that could never assed to colar, anid tat ul never mest up te te nies anda for soc ad p> eatin. And 1 wat igtthough lok may yea bee U could sat that to mye. iy so Im, ty a Umit 1 ane weer ha the gis that mk fr a good sclr—and remsining nthe wiveriy wolfe been + ion devil that fact ‘Ascoli commited fe bling on Inowelge tha athens hae gahered,conetng conning it enlagng i But I hae leas wanted to think my own thought bout « bjt hou being obey infcnced by what ther have thought bere me IF you catch me redng «book im pat i mont dy tobe a noe same post,» ame oF ey tat dees clastietion. ae ha + tet ely thet whee Tm wt a the ne “Tree some vie in my procs, Uk thy help me sep my thinking Goth and tring oe the tintin ta comes om Ioking st Me hough ule Ines. There is none in thom a wll snes of sor cei Kind of fmptencs, nd perhaps een «nck of de rept fx ahs who have worked tee fis Bul be they sites or al, thee ae the simple at abot ny tle, aboot my Lis and my gif [a le gifted at bling on oer peoples dicovees han at ntrng in. my own guage: les gifted 2 sping slowly into 2 sujet than a jumping im the deep end to See U can swim; less ged at making outs than at wing mys into rorer and tying da wy ot le ged at racking + ght hain of leg han at leaping fom one metaphor © the ne! aka ther t+ Ion hae abou he comple, eve duplciy, we mut embrace an the rad fo voraton, where we somsines ind ounches sing todo the igh thing Sr the rang reson. ight Br eto Tae the univer Bt needed doit fr the wrong rxen "the unbeaty comup—beceee the ight seman" ak he git of sche’ —wan eo Gightning fo me fice tthe ine [My far of filing so scholar cotsined the energy Uneced to ctl mpl out of the aedemy and ee mel for anole Kind of eduction mien. Bot becnse coldso achnldge my fea, Ud a gabe Wat sng a he white are of nde and weligheone. 1 i an abd ft, ut te —sod once I col akong that ‘rth ard undertand le nthe dam f my i, oané mel no lege embed by renal C was ale to geoff hat site Hone and take an unblinking Took at myself and my Tails. This was 2p into dries that Ud been tying to aoi—the Ahem of seing mpl mre oney than Il waned fe. But (am gate fe the ge tht alowed me to dent, fr the whe hee Ina ding bach ten ould never Ie cai me tthe place whee Ua td: ering wth le, the academy Tne lft far and thing “Teday I sere education ror aubide the ition here my pally it let ely lo get tgseed—rlier tan fom the iside hee I wate energy on ange intend of Investing itn hope. Ths pathology, which tok me yes recogie is my teeny fo gts confi with the ay people we power in instars that | spend mre tne Being sng a the thes {pend on my rel wok (Once #andertod that the rb was “in here” a well “aut thee” the soliton seemed cer needed to wat independently, oti of iaiions, etched fom the stimal that tiger my Ince rrponse. Having dane jut tht for ovr decade now, my pathology no Tenger tuber me hve a0 one to Blame but mpl for whats the ‘rouble may be and am compelled devote my energies tthe work | led od Hote. .hink, another duet Roding tue self an veaon: ne must witb the neaivepoetons we make on people and stutns— pects that see malay t mask our Far atout ouseher—andackwlege and embrace out own lbs and limb, (Once 1 came to tems with my fen, I wat able Took back and tace an uncomou pater. For yea, U had een moving smay fom bigs intone Berkey and Gergen to sll places Uke Pendle Hil, places of les tats and visbty onthe map of saci ely, Bt {moved like » ea, sdemay, oo fafa o lok Reon atthe ft ‘hut Ts taking mpl fm the center to the Fnge of tural ife—and uate te a pce where lat was Jet wus to move oud of isittion hoger Traooaled my movement with the ton that sll estas se move mera than lage ones. Bat Ut pty ante ebou what was animating se ene sbaut Snatttona a fc, was ante by asl "re sel that hen me beer han my pe i, brew that I neded Yo workouts of inutinal cocuents and consis This is aol an indent of itnsions, t+ atime of my Limtaons. Among my adie ied ave people whe do ot have my limit, what ie allow them t werk Sakily whi eons ac, srgh hoe iaton, to ene te mod wll But thr pf not mine a ered serch Sum und Drong—and tt ao an ndetment of me tis sinpy 2 th about who Tam and how [am sighfly elated tothe wo an clog nu of the sort that can paint wad tue vestonSELFHOOD, SOCIETY, AND SERVICE By suring psiges of dobt and depresion on the ween jure. {hve Bcooe cer abo at lest one thing ene never a selsh act—it i singy goo stearship of the ony pil hae, the pf a pt on eth fer W othe Anytime we can Ise trae sl and pve it tbe cre egies, we do so ct only Soros bat forthe many sts woe les we. ch ‘Thee ae atl te way fo undentnd the Tink between selhod and serie. One i fled by the poet Ram inhi pring oberon: WF you ae ere any wth yt casing teble damage” "1 we ae wnat to tue el we wl excl pice fom then We wll mae promis we cannot ee, build eter orm finay sh, Sonja cens that devel integrand er people wl sulfeif we ae wal wo all 1 wl uamine that rot of nfithfles, sod coneqences tr inthis nk But 2 mote ingpicng way of undemteding he Kink Between efond and ee i 1 the eto people wh hme ben here fil wih Lok ir empl, te pest tertion mcremest fa hve sed many st well—in ese top, Lalla Ames and Seth Ach amen worn, Aan Ames and ov gay and Tan ahr and sie, What we ee simple But of gcd he movements hat trom, oo eons, snd cur wold emerge fom the vs of people wh dee tn eter hi authentic fond, ‘The vx ses in wich the peopl mt univ fen yf fe thet ie ino way uae to who Uy ae you at por you ar wappted to cept, with eta, half aoa or les: if yu are tack. you ae supposed oer cin witht pts f you ae oy. you ae supposed to pret that yo sve not You and may not naw, bat we can at Jest imagine how tempting it woul be Yo mk one's hin sons of ths or—ecase the stem Heaters punishment fone does nt Bt in pie of tha teat, cto the pele who lat the eet of ronemens wane seal dain: hey dese to ine “ried ww re” They sce no ng to stom the ude oy that contrat ome nth aba hema tat they ald dy othe inde. They decide W cm ahem ieBtond and et ot and ho dino pple cut wand the sci in which they Ye, srg the tod of millon of hes 1 call hi the “os Pas dein” een tht viable woman se emblematic of wht the undid ie can mean Mor of Kew he sory the ty of an Acan Amerian wom who, a the tne she made he dessin, ws a eats iy her ely forat On Decambr 1, 195, x Meigen, Alabama, ss Ps dh smehing she wat not supped 1 dhe sat down tthe font of Bus in one of these ced for whes—a dangirouy, daring. and paves atm ait sceaged hai at ye Tas a grate sen cme 1 Ros rs and shed, "Why di you sit down tthe font of the bus st i?” Ross Pos dl ot say that sho st own to lunch + movement, Beste ber moves were mare eet tan Wat Shed tat dum esse {war tie” But she id nat mean tat her fet were ted She res tht ter al wt Ul, ber heat wat ted ber whole being wt ed of playing by vc uk, of denying her ous cum to selond® OF cours, the were many foes siding and sboting Rox Pubs econ to Ine vided no more, She had sid the dey and ccs of ronience athe Highlander Fell Sell, whee Martin Laer King J was sho a stolen She was secretary of the Montgomery chipterof the Naonal Auocaton forthe Adasceent of Cold People, whose semen hd been dicuing cl dicbedence But in the soment she it donna the fon f the but om ht December diy, she hwo uate that he theory of nominee wok nek or tht her community would ook herp W'wus = moment of extent uh, of csiming authentic slhod, of reclaiming bight idnee—and in that momert ake stim rohan » pce that charged ah the ay sd dhe wf then Ron Psst dows besa she had raced a point where & was ential o embrace her te vein not at someone who would ripe our sey but a omone who oul! tne out he il lf Yo the wold. She deed, I wll no ngs a on the uid in way tt cnt he tth tht U held deeply en the hie Iwill no longer at 171 wer Tes than the le peron Tow myself inwardly © be ‘Where des one ge the cure to“! down atthe Bont of the ue” tna ity ha piss anyone who decider tole died no mers? Ale al, comments! wid sscenennds the dded fe the sf ad sane way to gp: "Det weer our het yor slowe” “Don ule a Federal cate otf 1° “Dont show them the white of your ees” ‘hse we al he cha wae we ell ach aber Beep penal ath spat fom plc i, et we make cues wlhenble in tat oughaedtumble ein ‘Where do people find the surge f ve died aa more shen they know they wil be parithed fr 3 Theanser Ihe seen in the Ue oF pope like Ros Pak i imple he people Have tanned the tsa of pusent ll They have come to uadertind that no pusshmen anyone might inet om them could powibly be wane than the ‘unset they ton thnsels by comping in ther own dininitnee In the Rens Pais soy that night emerge na wonderful my. Ar she hd st atthe font of the bus fo «while, the plc came abou and si, “ou knw, f you conic to thr, wee ging have fo throw you jl. ons Pr sept, “ou ray do tat. * hich sey pote way of saying, “What cold you slo alone ae sel pomily meen toe, coped be the sinned ‘mpiement fe led for fy yeas —the prise Ive at walled ou of by eising copie ny lager with th ci tem” ‘The puichment imposed on us fo liming sf can never Be wos tan the pnshent we impo on ours by fling rake tat claim. An! the convene aweno read anyone might gv us could psiy be grater than he rena Hat comes om ling by our aun best hs You and ay not have Ros Paks prc Bat Ste ate wth etna asm, The univer clament in er sy net the aaiance her ht bu the sl ood in which he od while he fought fr each of a alr the challenge and the promise of suming and eaming te al 1 the Roa Pas sry help der our ow wean we mA her the adinay enon she ‘That wil be dic to do Reaute we have made he into aed we have doe i opt caeles IF we an hep Rows Prk ina museum ata untouchable con af tat, we wl ruin wrtochable at well we ean put er tp ont pede and pai ber, worl witout end, neering eure challenged by beri. Sirce my own Me ruse kof ing played im 3 mucus es, Iwan retary whe try [bow beta awe ale Rast Pass, | eer lak ina. dn ‘tc action tht might crete the eney of tansformation around the iestins I cre about. stead I ed We abebdon those aettns though an eae, cable movement that 1 not wit 1 akong, ees 0 yell Bat fay hi Iappened an the way tomy vsetion. Td, mene yes afer | left ean ia anger and es, ry wk deeply ried 1 the renewal of eatin Initio, Tevet ths potable only because my tue vel dogged me, iskng and scesming ows hoacng st ature and need, fing me to Bd my igh place in ‘he ect of ie, t Bnd + ght ration to isto wth which [have 2 Melony lotr qaral Hod denied my tue sal, remaining “at my pos simply Because I was paraeed wth fet, would almost enainy be lst in teres oy ited of seing sate Ice abot om Pcs tok er stand with clay and courage. Lock mine by dein and defult Sue fury ate det and some ate ccs, some ae et, and sme re Fx dele But every joey, anes undeaken, sands a chance of tain ut owl the place nhete out dep lanas ees the was dp need [A May Suton reminds othe plgiage tard tre ef wil be “tine, many year and ples” The wold need people with the ptnce and the panion to make Ht pi page not oly fr trou ake but sho aa ascend plc act The word sil waits Beth ht wil ct Eee—my th your kth our ath the tt tat ae Seeded nthe earth when ech of ws aed hee formed inthe nage of Gad. Guta that uh, | bale the autentie woetn o every human bang