Waiting for the world to end due to a nuclear explosion

probably caused by an unprovoked kneejerk reaction on the

other side of the hemisphere
CHARACTERS:
Gregory, an American.
Grisha, a Russian.

Gregory and Grisha are in a playground somewhere in the centre of the world. Despite wearing
adult clothes, they are very much two children. Tensions are brewing. There is a long silence.

Gregory:              My ideology is better than yours-

Grisha:                 NA AH!
Gregory:              The news said so!
Grisha:                 So did mine.
Gregory:              When?
Grisha:                 What do you mean when?
Gregory:              But why?
Grisha:                 How why?
Gregory:              Why why?
Grisha:                 Why?

Long pause.

Both:                     Anarchism.

Hysterical laugher breaks out. A longer, more awkward pause.

Grisha: I’ve got more friends than you-

Gregory: THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT’S NOT TRUE-
Grisha: Uh Huh, me and Yugoslavia are tight

Grisha attempts a Jonas snap. Fails. Awkward pause. He looks at his hand, surprised. Gregory
does the same. The pause lasts an odd amount of time.

Gregory: (Snapping out of it) Yugoslavia doesn’t like you

Grisha: What are you-
Gregory: He’s been hanging out with me… talking behind your back
Grisha: (Eyes widening) Well…. CUBA!

Grisha shifts to face the other way… Gregory’s eyes widen.

Gregory: …dude

Awkward pause. The pair stand up and move to opposite sides of the space. They sit down and
pick up their toys, little rockets. Gregory starts making rocket noises. Grisha notices this, starts
copying, attempting to outdo the other. Fades to another awkward silence. Grisha sneezes.
Gregory, surprised, jumps into action suddenly on his feet in a stance ready to throw his rocket.
Grisha scrambles to do the same.

Gregory: Oh…
Grisha: Oh…
Gregory: I will-
Grisha: I will…
Gregory: Take it back!
Grisha: Take what-
Gregory: TAKE IT BACK
Grisha: What are-
Gregory: FIVE…
Grisha: Oh no no no
Gregory: FOUR…
Grisha: You cant-
Gregory: THREE…
Grisha: Oh shoot… THREE
Both: TWO…
Both: ONE…

Nothing happens, the two boy’s looks at each other for a moment. They break out into smiles
and point at each suddenly jovial, full of respect and relieved.

Gregory: Wowwwwwwwwww…
Grisha: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

These noises go on for an odd amount of time. These then fade into sighs…. The two boys then
go on playing with their rockets, arranging them differently and flying them around. Grisha
reaches into his toy box, he starts pulling out Lego Bricks. He carries/ slides them across the
floor to the centre of the stage. He starts to meticulously and expertly craft a wall out of his
Lego bricks. He is doing this for a while before Gregory notices.Gregory looks up, takes a mental
note of what he sees and then looks back down to his own toys. Continuing to play but lacking
the same vigour. He looks up again, looks like he about to say something, then glances back to
his toys.Gregory looks up once more, sooner this time, seemingly trying to speak, before
finally…

Gregory: What… what are you doing

Grisha: Huh?
Gregory: Um… what are you doing with those bricks?
Grisha: (Duh!) I’m building a wall.
Gregory: Yeah, ok…. Why?
Grisha: To make sure my toys stay on my side
Gregory: Oh, yeah…. Sure

Gregory goes back to his toys. He stops, looks up frowning.

Gregory: Actually I don’t think I am okay with that.

Grisha: You-
Gregory: They aren’t yours any more than mine
Grisha: They are on my side.
Gregory: But I want to play with them!
Grisha: Well you can’t! (Pointing towards his creation) WALL!

The two stare each other, defiant. Suddenly they snap out of it, looking slightly embarrassed.
After a while, the phrase “what are we doing?” is repeated four times with an emphasis on each
different word

Grisha: WHAT are we doing?

Gregrory: What ARE we doing?
Grisha: What are WE doing?
Gregory: What are we DOING?
Grisha: This is ridiculous! We can be friends you know.
Gregory: We can’t!
Grisha: Says who?
Gregory: The government!
Grisha: Well…screw the government!  

Hysterical laughter breaks out yet again. The laughter subsides and the two split off subtly
looking for cameras, with fear on their faces replacing any traces of humorous encounters.

Gregory: (To the implied fake camera, almost in whisper) He didn’t mean that.

Grisha: So what do you say? Truce? Pals? Allies? Sestry?

To validate the sincerity of his offer, Grisha proceeds to knock down the wall he built out of
Lego.

Gregory: Sestry!

The two hug each other. It is a long hug that eventually gives off a sexual undertone. Until
Grisha sneezes again. It is a repeat of last time and the rockets are back out.

Gregory: Oh…
Grisha: Oh not again
Gregory: I will-
Grisha: No you won’t…
Gregory: Take it back!
Grisha: I didn’t do any-
Gregory: TAKE IT BACK
Grisha: What are-
Gregory: FIVE…
Grisha: Oh for the love Putin
Gregory: FOUR…THREE…
Grisha: Oh shoot… THREE
Both: TWO…
Both: ONE…

No one shoots. Again. There is a solemn tired response this time. It is tiring to constantly be at
war.
Gregory: Wowwwwwwwwww…
Grisha: Ahhhhhhhhhh

Beat

Gregory: This is ridiculous.

Grisha: You’re telling me? The only thing crazier would be a female president of the
united states.
Gregory: (laughing) Or a reality television star as the republican nominee!
Grisha: Yes. (laughing louder) What is reality TV?

Beat

Gregory: I don’t know!

Laughter again. The two put down their rockets and head their separate ways abruptly. The
Russian and American respective national anthems begin to play whilst overlapping each other.

End