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28 Day Ultimate Guide
28 Day Ultimate Guide
28 Day Ultimate Guide
By
James Dawborn
Edited By
Kymmie Krieger
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Contents
1-‐
Introduction
2-‐
Chapter
1
-‐
Step
1-‐
Emotional
Strength
–
Covering
Topics
on:
Body
Language
Emotional
States
Positive
Thinking
Conquering
Fear
Building
Confidence
Understanding
Change
3.
Chapter
2
-‐
Step
2-‐
Align
Your
Blue
Print
–
Covering
Topics
on:
Depression
Keeping
Anger
at
Bay
Values
and
Beliefs
Should
vs.
Must
4.
Chapter
3
-‐
Step
3-‐
Progress
to
Happiness
28
Day
Guide–
Covering
Topics
on:
Building
Self-‐esteem
Positive
Energy
28
Days
to
Success-‐
The
Walkthrough
5.
Chapter
4
-‐
Step
4-‐
Wealth
Management
–
Covering
Topics
on:
Personal
Budget
Planner
6.
Chapter
5
-‐
Step
5-‐
Final
Step
to
Success
-‐
Covering
Topics
on:
Treat
Yourself
Discover
Your
Compelling
Future
Health
and
Fitness
Final
Words
from
James
Dawborn
Introduction
Hello friend,
Now, there are a few items that will be handy when completing
tasks within this 28 day program. Are you ready? First, you will
need a note book/journal, and second, grab a diary. I will explain in
more detail later why these are needed, but I wanted to give you
the “heads up” now.
Before we begin, the biggest challenge you will face when creating
new emotional strength is being fully ready to “grab the bull by the
horns,” solidifying your commitment. This guide will present you
with the methods and tasks to create a new life, BUT you have to
be ready to fully engage and actively commit to the change! If
you’re not completely focused, you simply cannot give 100%, and
you, therefore, will not fully experience the amazing and life-
changing benefits that this program offers.
Your first task is to ask yourself this important question: Are you
ready to rumble? Just kidding. But, really, are you ready?
In buying this book, I assume that you must play host to some
inner element of unhappiness; however, I am more interested in
your purpose. I’m not going to pull any punches here. I, truthfully,
want you to know that it’s going to take effort, endurance, and
dedication to leap towards success. As any athlete will tell you,
performance is 80% mental and only 20% physical (Don’t you wish
you had known that as a kid?).
*****************
Minute Motivator
*****************
If you commit to and complete the exercises and steps within this
book, I assure you that life will take a turn in your favor. This world
is similar to a huge magnet and has to eventually balance out.
With a little rewiring of your emotional psychology, you can learn to
use life to your advantage. Your dreams will become reality, and
you will realize that anything is possible (should you choose it to
be)!
Remember, your destiny is in your hands (no one else’s)! All that is
needed is FOCUS, DETERMINATION, VISION, and A SMIDGE
OF SELF CONFIDENCE!
Now, think about what makes successful people different from you
(aside from their mansions, Ferraris, and private jets)? Okay, I kid,
but seriously, think about it. Some were born into money. Some
were not. Some were instantly given amazing skills and physiques.
Some were not. Some had the luxury of jumping straight into their
dream job or buying their dream house, but again, some did not.
Now, within this book, there will be exercises for you to work
through. Take as much time as needed to complete each one.
Here is Exercise 1:
*****************
You are going to research two people, who in your eyes, are
successful. They can be male or female, successful in any
field. In your new notebook, I want you to describe each one,
answering the following:
1) Who is he/she?
2) What he/she do to be successful?
3) Did he/she start off with wealth?
4) What is his/her back ground?
5) How did he/she find his/her success?
For this task, feel free to write quick summaries. Once you
have done this, write down the strengths you think each of
the two possessed. This may take a while, so please, take
whatever time you need to achieve this.
*****************
There are five main areas of a person’s life that everyone can
relate to, no matter the background, situation, or circumstance.
Referring back to these five key areas can help you better
understand yourself and others.
5. Love and Growth – And of course, I saved the best for last.
Only when you are completely happy, content, and fulfilled yourself
can you truly love others and experience inner growth. You will
experience an unmatched connection with others and gain great
satisfaction from feeling loved. Relationships grant us the certainty
we desire, and with that, we naturally grow individually and in our
relationships as well. Love and growth are a perfect pair (like
peanut butter and jelly)!
You CAN have the strength and sheer determination to go out into
this tough world, and grab it by the horns proclaiming, “World, get
ready! Here I come!”
*****************
Minute Motivator
It does not matter how old you are, where you are from, or
how much money you have. What truly matters is that you
wake up each morning, find the positive in your situation, and
focus on achieving your dreams. Whether you want more
from this life or not, we only get one life to live. So, LIVE IT
and LOVE IT!
*****************
I know you will be glad to hear that I am not going to hold you in
suspense until the end of this book to tell you the key to success.
In fact, I’m going to tell you right now.
Awesome, right?
But first, you will need to make some important decisions about
what you truly want out of life and how you intend on achieving
your wildest dreams. If you truly desire a fulfilling life, you will be
amazed to hear that with some slight adjustments to your
emotional strength and current actions, you can experience instant
gratification coupled with gradual progress.
I have divided this 28-day guide into five main stepping-stones for
you to utilize along your path to success. From assessing your
financial situation to having a more positive outlook on life, I
promise that after reading and completing the challenges I set out
for you, you will instantly feel self-gratification and see a positive
difference in your life.
Doesn’t that sound great? Who doesn’t want some positive change
in their life? Right now, hopefully you’re thinking, “Bring it on,
James! I’m ready!”
*****************
Minute Motivator
Your past is a mere shadow of who you were. Yes, it’s true
that sometimes you need to remember to the past (so as not
to repeat mistakes); however, it is best to only focus on the
positive memories.
*****************
Chapter 1 - Step 1 – Emotional Strength
It might be helpful (at this stage) to write these questions out and
spend some time spelling out your answers.
*****************
Exercise 2
1- Career=
2- Money =
3- Health =
4- Family and Friends =
5- Personal Growth =
6- Fitness =
7- Love/Relationships =
8- Time for Yourself =
*****************
Now, let’s dig a little deeper (into our Grand Canyon of emotions).
What is currently stopping you from having the kind of life and
relationships you desire?
If you currently don’t know what you want from life or are stuck in a
lightless tunnel, this is the best time to get back to basics. Think
about what you do know and identify the underlying issues related
to your feelings.
We’re all in the same boat (metaphorically)! So, here are some
examples that you may relate to or even be experiencing yourself:
2- Do you have a job that does not provide you with any
satisfaction? Do you believe that you’re simply working long hours
for someone else’s benefit? Do you feel like no matter how much
effort you put in, there is never any true gratitude or appreciation
on the part of your employer?
3- Are you saddled with debt, such as credit cards balances, bank
loans, student loans, or mortgage payments? Have you possibly
become addicted to gambling? Do you fear you will never be
capable of paying off your debt, and your life is spinning in chaotic
circles, without a shred of hope in sight?
6- Are you intimidated by friends and family and lack the courage
and confidence to stand up to them? Are you afraid of the outcome
of showing others you are an adult, a strong person, and a reliable
friend?
Think about why you chose this book. Hopefully, you are aware
that there are thousands reading right along with you. You are
definitely not alone! For whatever reason you decided to embark
upon this journey, it’s imperative to remember that others are right
there, paddling side-by-side with you, hoping to reach the shore of
success.
Now, on to Exercise 3.
Jumping jacks! Ready, set, go! I kid, again; however, answering
the questions below will help you ‘jump start’ your brain into
pondering some of the key goals you want to accomplish in life.
*****************
Exercise 3
Think about it. What really makes you tick (not ‘ticks you off’
but makes you tick)? What are you passionate about?
Maybe it’s your career you want to change. Maybe you want
to spend more time with your family and friends. Maybe
you’re sick of being hurt by others. Maybe you want the
courage to be independent and not have to rely on other
people. Whatever your reasons are write them down and
explain why.
*****************
Now that you’ve identified the areas of your life you are not happy
with, you can begin setting goals that aim to directly rectify specific
situations and areas you need help with.
Once you have the answers to these questions, you can properly
strive to shape your vision, or at the very least, begin taking great
steps in the right direction. You can have as many goals as you
wish, keeping in mind they need to be realistic and attainable.
If you are still unclear as to what it is you want or what your goals
should be, don’t panic! They will come to you (maybe not in a
crystal ball but it will happen). Though it may not be right away,
your dreams will present themselves to you at the right time.
Haven’t you ever noticed you never find your long-lost sock until
you stop looking for it (or for me, until after I throw the matchless
sock-mate away)? Then, BAM, there is it!
Doesn’t that make great sense when you really think about it? Our
energies are directed and devoted to those entities that consume
our focus.
Inside your mind lies the key to unlocking the right changes in the
key areas of your life. It all comes down to the way you think and
perceive life. Right now, you’re probably reading this thinking,
“Thanks for the breakthrough moment, James (definitely
sarcasm),” but it’s true!
From this moment on, you need to command certainty in your life.
Be assertive, and create a compelling future for yourself. A helpful
tip is to start interjecting more positive words into your vocabulary,
while going about your day-to-day business. Have you ever
noticed that when you talk to a ‘Negative Nancy,’ he/she will hardly
ever use a positive word? Don’t become that person!
So, the next time you talk to someone (whether it’s a work
colleague, friend, or family member), try to spot the negative words
they use in a casual conversation. Keep count, if you can. You will
be surprised how often and frequently negative words and
connotations are used when they are consuming someone’s life.
All these negative words, thoughts, and beliefs directly affect an
individual’s day-to-day life.
Body Language
Can you remember a time where this happened to you? How did
you feel? What was your emotional state like? What were you
doing at the time? How did you move on?
On the flip side of the coin, think about someone’s body language
in a state of happiness, joy, or excitement. Yep, you guessed it. It
would be the exact opposite. Their shoulders would be raised,
head held high, body open, and hand gestures flying in sync with
the conversation. They would make sure their presence was
known, and every action they made would be decisive, oozing with
confidence.
So, how can we utilize body language when we want it? Well, the
best way to do this is to visualize. Think back to a time where you
were engulfed in an excited state. Remember exactly how it made
you feel. This is a fantastic opportunity to relive a “blast from the
past.” So, close your eyes and relive the moment. Recall the
pleasure and excitement. These states are where you excel and
confidence grows.
Emotional States
*****************
Exercise 4
You will probably come to the realization that the trigger was
internal, where you said to yourself, “I have to do this. I can’t let
myself down. I have to push through this.” And with that small
burst of momentum, you preserved, and afterwards, you felt a true
sense of self accomplishment.
Now, it’s time to develop a hand signal, sound, or saying that you
can use to reignite that fiery emotion again. The idea is to create a
connection between the two, an internal response. For example,
when you hear rhythmic, club music, it makes you want to get up
and dance, right? This is the power of association using sounds or
gestures.
I want you to now recall a time where you truly achieved success.
It can be from any time period in your life, but pick a specific time
when you felt like you were literally on top of the world.
Can you visualize it? Great! Now, do you remember exactly how
that moment felt? Relive that moment right now. Take it all in,
thinking about where you were, whom you were with, and what it
was that brought you such great joy and excitement.
Then the next time you are out on the town, be observant of other
people’s body language. You will begin to see for yourself how
body language can truly foreshadow a person’s mood or feelings.
*****************
Exercise 5
Now, I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but just trust me
on this one, okay? I promise, this really does work.
Here is an example:
*****************
For instance, think about a job interview. Before you arrive, you
should spend some time alone, moving yourself into a ‘happy
place.’ You should envision your success in attaining that job, have
confidence in your thoughts, think outside the box, and realize your
own potential. Just as you research a company prior to entering an
interview, you also research your mood and prepare emotionally.
In essence, a positive, inspiring emotional state will win the job.
Something else worth mentioning is the fact that with all the build-
up of negative emotions, often you will develop little demons, hell
bent on preventing you from being successful. But, don’t worry.
This is not your fault. It’s simply your mind trying to rationalize why
you can’t possibly achieve a goal and would rather stick to a safe
plan.
Our minds often play the “better safe than sorry” card.
Sometimes, your mind may tell you that a task can wait until later
or that there are limits to what you are capable of. Whatever your
little demon’s excuse is, don’t allow him to nuzzle his way back into
your positive mindset. Kick that demon to the curb!
The key to destroying your demons is to immediately stomp on
them with your reaffirming “shoe of belief.” STOMP!
*****************
Exercise 6
What are you good at? Everything is in play here, like skills,
qualifications, attributes, personality traits, likes, and dislikes.
Be open minded. Do not limit yourself. Express your positivity
in this table.
Positive Thinking
Taking on Fear
So, besides spiders and scary monsters, what are your fears? Do
you have any? What scares you most?
*****************
Exercise 7
*****************
Sweating
Nausea
Palpitations
Hot flushes
Dizziness
Choking
Shaking
Loss of control
Building Confidence
While you can’t be overly trusting, I want to point out that not
trusting anyone is NOT the answer either. This will only fuel a
negative projection of your next relationship without dealing with
your inner conflicts. If you enter a new relationship with these
strong, negative feelings, it will cause unnecessary tension.
2. Use their passion for success and life to motivate you (gain a
sense of direction from how they inspired and influenced those
around them).
4. Accept the past, and remember the good times. Use this
renewed strength to push for new ventures; this will provide small
stepping-stones for new creations in your life.
Say you have a fear of flying. The first thing to do is research this
fear. So, you ask yourself:
You are sitting in your nice comfy armchair, and you turn on the TV
only to see yourself on the screen. Take in how you look (Use a
real remote control to make the experience more realistic.).
Now, imagine yourself floating out of your body (which is still really
in your comfy armchair). Can you see yourself in the chair and on
the TV still? Great!
Now, play the film through until right after the memory ends. You
are still safe, without fear or incident. Make sure you imagine
yourself throughout the entire film, with full confidence that your
fear is powerless. You are assured that, in the end, nothing will
happen to you, so there is no need to worry.
Now, freeze the film, and float into the TV screen. Replay the film
over and over, starting and ending where you are safe. Keep
replaying it until you are comfortable with the memory and the
experience. When you do finally come face-to-face with your fear
in real life, use this method again beforehand (if possible) and
during the situation to stay focused on your safe outcome.
If you’re reading this and wondering how this could possibly work,
hey, that’s completely okay.
Fear is all in your mind, and because we control how we think and
feel (which scientists have proven in multiple studies), we can
create our own outcomes. This is why reliving your memory with a
positive end result will allow you to focus on your guaranteed
safety, so when you are actually confronted with your fear, you can
recall this positive outcome as a focal point. The results of this
method will astound you. You can also use this strategy for many
other situations, issues, and worries that you may experience.
Your brain and imagination can be fantastic tools. If your mind can
create negative images so easily, then creating positive ones
should come just as easy. It just takes time and practice. But, I
have unwavering faith in you, and I know that, after reading this
book, you will have the same faith in yourself as well.
*****************
Minute Motivator
Fear is often the unknown. There are many things in life you
have overcome already, so continue taking a stand. You are
strong, focused, and determined. So, the next time you
encounter a personal fear, do not run and hide. Face it. Grab it
by the horns. Take control.
*****************
Understanding Change
Our minds would cry out for stimulation and growth, never to be
answered. The human mind needs to be massaged and provided
with new, exciting challenges to keep us on our toes. Without
change and stimulation, we might as well just throw the towel in, sit
back, and watch the world pass us by. Without change, we would
never be capable of truly challenging our minds or putting our best
foot forward. What an uneventful, boring world that would be!
*****************
Exercise 8
*****************
These are all helpful questions to keep in mind after you freeze
frame the situation, look at it from a better angle, make a wise
decision, and initiate the end result you desire.
I hope at this point you understand that confidence and control are
the two main players (or triggers) involved in altering your
emotions. Without these two, you will attract more negatives than
positives, creating false beliefs and limitations. This would not be
advantageous because we do not want more barriers blocking our
path, making it difficult to clear again.
2. Take some decisive steps towards setting goals in life that you
desire to achieve.
It is very true that often happy people become happier, and sad
people attract more sadness. This is because their mentality
determines their outcomes. Let me ask you, does your blue print
match your current situation? Meaning: Do who you are as a
person and what you believe in truly represent the lifestyle you
have at the moment?
What stops us from having the life we want? It’s a good question,
right?
Let’s take a deeper look into who you have been brought up to be,
your life experiences, and your current beliefs. This is important in
determining whether or not you have inner conflicts with your
emotional strength.
Your body map consists of who you think you should be: your
deepest desires, your expectations of life, and your state of
happiness. If you’re reading this already knowing that you’re
unhappy, then this part of the book will unlock some enlightening
answers for you.
You can change your situation, your appearance, your career, and
even your relationships, but until you truly identify your deepest
desires, you won’t be happy (especially if your current desires
include trying to make someone else happy).
First, let’s figure out what your body map looks like. Hopefully, the
previous sections have helped with this (or at least made it
clearer), showing you what it is that you truly want and desire in
life. Completely forget about everyone else around you for the
moment.
Even if this has never happened to you, you may have seen it
happen to people you know, love, or care about. My goal is to help
you understand the despair that you or someone else may be
living with on a daily basis.
But, the good news is that every problem has a solution! The key
is to either change your body map/blue print, or adjust your current
situation so that it does match your body map. It’s as easy as that!
Depression
What has happened in your life that causes you to feel this way?
Again, the great news is where there is a problem, there is always
a solution.
This may specifically relate to you or you may know someone who
it affects. Do you know someone who is very successful and has
everything they could ever possibly want, but they still appear
depressed all the time?
It is imperative to determine which parts of your depression are
within your control. Think about why the feeling is so powerful and
difficult for you to break away from. You must find other things in
your life that are more important and more valuable to you than
this feeling.
Once you do this, you can adjust your thinking, and refocus on
these new, intriguing entities in your life. A common pattern of poor
body language, unhealthy mental state, and repressed
communication skills often exists in depressed individuals.
You will often notice that someone who is sad or depressed will
show signs of a negative body state; they will lower their head,
slouch their shoulders, and change the way they talk. It’s truly an
addictive state that engulfs your thinking and your entire life.
People can very easily and quickly switch gears from sad and
depressed to angry and frustrated, which again will be evident
through different body language.
You may also notice that people use their depressed feelings to
satisfy their emotional cravings, which often results from their
original insecurities. This creates a trigger effect, so when they
think about certain past situations in their life, it triggers instant
sadness. When an individual gets caught in this vicious cycle for a
few years, it becomes second nature to them. Their mind then
recreates an alternate reality within itself, so they go round and
round in a never ending circle.
So, what if you are constantly focused on the present? Well, this
is, indeed, better than the past but still has its drawbacks. You are
probably the kind of person that is well equipped to deal with
situations and problems in everyday life. You live one day at a
time, not wanting to think about the future.
Lastly, do you focus purely on the future? If so, you are most likely
a great anticipator because you have dreams, visions, and desires
which keep you focused. You have designated a path to your
success and have a plan to get there. You use the present to fulfill
your needs.
Which one of the three do you think is the best category to be in?
Well, it’s clearly not the past. The past won’t solve your problems.
Reliving your fears and experiences will only bring you down. And,
the present will give you fulfillment, but you will be limited in your
desires. You need to set your sights higher, have a clear vision,
and strive to achieve your deepest needs and desires. So, start
focusing on the future today!
Essentially, you need to take a real long good look at your current
situation, your home life, your relationships, your career, your
health, and your financial situation. You need to closely evaluate
each one to find the triggering cause for your unhappiness. Once
you identify the trigger, you must determine what about that area
of your life makes you unhappy. Is it the people, the environment,
or the circumstances surrounding that situation that cause you
such discontentment? Whatever the cause, you need to fully
understand the root of your unhappiness in order to work through
it.
Its’ interesting to find that most people have never been properly
taught how to handle their emotions. Therefore, it’s so easy to feel
as if you’re losing control of your life - hence why people fall into a
depressed state and become frustrated. They go through a spiral
of uncontrollable emotions including sadness, anger, pain, and
aggression. All of these are a direct result of losing focus, as well
as losing control of your thoughts.
So, ask yourself these questions (to see how well you know
yourself):
So, how’d you do? Are you truly in touch with your own thoughts
and feelings?
Are you someone who has a black and white approach to the
world (where there’s no gray area)? Do you feel that life will either
work out or it won’t? People with this line of thinking are usually
defensive and are not open to compromise. They can, at times,
forcefully impose their own beliefs on other people. A good way to
combat this way of thinking is to freeze frame situations, opening
yourself up to the possibility that other avenues to explore may
exist.
In order to have a natural and healthy love for yourself, you need
to realize that the past is in the past (and that’s where it stays). It
may define who you are today, but it doesn’t have to decide who
you will be in the future. You can’t turn back the hands of time
(though that would be an awesome experience). You must realize
that we live and learn for a reason. It’s merely one of life’s crazy
little tests to see just how much you can juggle.
The main issue angry people have is that they believe they are
mind readers and assume that everything is directed at them. They
take everything personally.
When anger strikes, it can be both physical and mental. Anger is a
form of build-up resentment towards others. Many angry people
make the assumption that people are ‘out to get them.’ They feel
that in order to regain control, they have to be hurtful,
manipulative, and selfish.
Anger sits at the opposite end of the spectrum from sadness. This
emotional spectrum affects the body in many different ways. Anger
usually causes the body to tense and seize up. An angry
individual’s blood pressure may shoot through the roof, lending a
hand to vision impairment as well (red mist syndrome). Anger
takes an extreme toll on the body, both mentally and physically.
Some great tips for “nipping the angry monster in the rear” are:
1. Completely remove yourself from the situation. Walking away
will prompt you to calm down.
3. Take some slow, deep breaths to relax and settle down. This
will begin to soothe and calm your body, but it will not work
immediately. Continue this process for a few minutes.
Ultimately, the best way to deal with anger is to resolve the tension
lurking within you. Usually there is built up resentment and anguish
causing you to want to move into the ‘angry zone.’ Try to talk and
communicate your feeling with others whom you trust. Share your
problems, and search for a feasible solution that will yield a
positive outcome rather than a fit of rage.
If the person is not ready to forgive and forget just yet, the best
thing to do is direct the energy and power of their anger towards a
positive outcome. Maybe focus on and aim your partner’s angry
energy towards progress in a career, hobby, or relationship. Pull
the good out of the bad.
I think the best example for this is relationships. When two people
have different values and needs in life, they slowly begin to drift
apart. This results in one of them struggling to make the
relationship work (because family is most important to them), while
the other party is more focused on their own career and
professional progression. Instant friction and frustration ignites,
and when we do not have control, we are suddenly thrown into an
emotional cycle of sadness, depression, frustration, and anger.
This cycle can have a significant impact on children as well.
What are your values? Have you ever really thought about them?
What is important to you right now? How do you value your life,
your family, your friends, your career, your wealth, your opinions,
and your beliefs? How is your relationship or marriage? Is family
important to you, or are you more career driven?
Your values and beliefs guide your thinking for the future. Have
you ever had a gut feeling that something was wrong? Well, those
kinds of feelings are linked to your subconscious. They’re often
telling you to slow down, and think about all the options you have
available before making any rash decisions.
So, what do you do? Should you ignore your gut? What if it turns
out to be a bad decision? You could be left wishing you had gone
with your gut. In most cases, your gut doesn’t steer you wrong.
All these things factor into understanding who you really are and
what you believe. For example, if you were raised in poverty,
providing for your family may be a top priority for you. On the flip
side, you may have grown up in the lap of luxury, which may have
made you less appreciative of the good things in life, taking
everything and everyone for granted.
I want you to also think about the habits you may have picked up
while growing up. Are there any that have affected your life in a
negative way? If so, how can you shift that focus and change your
habits?
So, what’s holding you back? Have you ever said or heard others
make comments like:
I Can’t.
I’m no good at that.
I get easily distracted.
I won’t try that.
Why can’t I do that?
What is it that makes you feel like you can’t do that particular
thing? Have you actually tried to do it and failed? Did you put
enough time and effort into learning about it? Sometimes, it’s just
not that important to you, and some things in life won’t be (and
that’s okay). However, life is about working around the obstacles in
your way, realizing why they were placed in your life, and learning
how to shift them in your favor.
You put yourself into that positive state, and you encouraged
positive outcomes. I want you to realize that this positive, happy
state was 100% in your control. You put yourself in that specific
mood, and you allowed things to make you happy.
On the flip side, have you noticed that if you are unhappy, nothing
else seems to have the power to change your negative thoughts,
mood, or emotions? This is because you created your negative
mood, not anyone else. So, only YOU can change it!
I hope you are starting to understand that before progress can take
place you must discover and fully understand who you truly are,
how you were raised, and what values and beliefs you hold dear.
Your experiences all reflect your current day to day living. So, if
you’re not happy with your current situation, it’s clear that you have
a conflicting belief system that doesn’t align with your current
lifestyle. But, the good news is, you, and ONLY YOU, have the
power to make a change, and choose happiness!
So, identify and define what it is you want in life. Make your goals
into ‘must’ statements, and put them into action. This is the very
reason why right from the start of this book, I have encouraged you
to start thinking about what it is you want out of life. Keep these
goals fresh in your mind on a daily basis. Your aim is to create a
definitive list of actions that become ‘must’ statements for you
(rather than ‘should’ statements).
*****************
Exercise 9
Now, after talking extensively about core values and beliefs, I
want you to try this. In your journal, write down all of your
core values (things you truly believe in). What is important to
you?
Minute Motivator
Do not let time get the better of you. Seize the moment, and
enjoy life with every chance you get. Always aim to improve
your situation. Make tiny changes every day, and earn your
own self-respect. Write your own success story.
Show the people around you that you have the heart,
conviction, and sheer determination to break down any
emotional door, and smash your way through to success.
Make yourself better, my friend. I believe in you!
*****************
Goal
Find
your
Happiness
purpose
Create
a
Progress
vision
So, knowing when to make the right decision at the right time is
key. Having the right frame of mind and your body map (or blue
print) aligned with who you are is a recipe for success. These are
both steps in the right direction which will help you in formulating
educated guesses, making good decisions, and getting fabulous
results. If and when the result is not what you wanted, you simply
pick yourself up, and try again and again and again, until you get
the desired result.
You decide the outcome, and you must realize things change
constantly. It’s almost automatic. Our bodies change. The
environment changes. Your friends change. And, all this happens
whether you move a muscle or not. So, you have to take control of
your life, and ensure that when change happens, it’s in a positive
manner and in your favor.
People who plan to achieve things in the distant future have less
chance of following through. Do you know why? It’s simple.
Procrastination allows you time to come up with various reasons to
put things off, and soon, it just becomes wishful thinking.
Think back to people you know who have talked about their ‘New
Year’s resolutions’ and made promises to themselves like:
The problem with these statements is that they all consist of what
you are going to do and have no true meaning, timeline, or
inspiration behind them.
Look back at those people you knew that came to mind when we
were talking about ‘New Year’s resolutions.’ Have they achieved
their goals? If they have, that’s fantastic! It may help you to ask
them about their journey, what motivated them, how difficult the
changes they made were, and how they stayed dedicated and
determined to see their goal through.
You will often find that people who do not reach their goals come
up with a whole laundry list of negative excuses like:
Look at your body! Go ahead. Right now, look at your body. This
defines who you are. If you are muscular and athletic, then you
have already created your world and an environment that revolves
around good health and fitness. You must go to the gym. You
found a burning desire within yourself, and you feel great every
time you leave the gym or finish exercising.
If you’re over weight, then again, this mirrors your standards. You
value food and comfort more than anything else, and this figures
into your blue print. In order to change, you need to have strong
reasons and a real vision. Now, this is only an example. Some
people who are overweight are more than happy with themselves.
This is because they understand who they are and are confident in
themselves, and that’s great! It’s up to you to decide what makes
you happy (and if you’re not happy - why not?).
You need rituals and standards! I’ve said it already, but I really
want to drum this in because it is so important for progress. Look
at what you do every day, your daily routine. What are your rituals?
Grab your journal, and write them down! You will find after reading
this book, you will be programed to write more than you have ever
done before.
I cannot stress this enough - who you are today is a direct result of
your childhood, your upbringing, your experiences, your
relationships, and your financial background. Despite what your
circumstances were, you are now in a position to look back,
review, and analyze your beliefs, and assess if they match your
current lifestyle.
Discover why you are who you are and why you do what you do.
This is especially important if you know you are not happy and that
something inside of you is holding you back. Find the issue, and
resolve it. This will put you on your way to making good progress.
If you desire to be healthy but eat pizza every day, you’re not
going to end up with the desired results. You may be focused, but
it is on the wrong thing. ALIGN YOURSELF with the right path. If
you want to be healthy, then gather the right tools (i.e. a diet plan,
a trainer, an exercise routine, etc.). Use professionals around you.
Go to the local gym and ask for help. Make sure you have clear,
established goals in mind, and research how you are going to
achieve them. Immerse yourself completely in your journey, and
you will begin to truly feel your results (rather than just imagining
about them).
4. Coffee break - What better way to relax than to take a nice little
coffee break? Just visualize sitting down, closing your eyes for a
few seconds, and taking a deep breath, while soaking in the
peaceful moment. Sounds relaxing, doesn’t it?
5. Sleep your way to success - How much sleep are you getting at
the moment? Could you squeeze in more? Even an extra 30
minutes to an hour per day will pay huge dividends in the long run.
After a few weeks, you will feel revitalized, and ready to go!
Small incentives will keep you focused and on track. You will soon
apply these to your daily life without thinking, and it will become
second nature.
Boosting Self-esteem
There are many things you can do to not only understand the
concept of self-esteem but to also build it back up or revive it (if
yours has been stomped on). People with low self-esteem often
show signs of shame and fear. They create core beliefs that make
them feel comfortable about themselves. However, when their core
beliefs conflict (or break down), they often feel let down, ashamed,
or hurt. The main cause of all this is creating standards that are
unrealistic and unachievable, which quickly leads to failure.
*****************
Exercise 10
Grab your journal, and write out, in a simple list, your values.
Then, next to each one, write the rules you associate with it as
well.
*****************
Aside from childhood, there are also the effects of peer pressure
from the people you associate with. In many instances, when their
expectations are not met, you may be made to feel ashamed or
worthless.
A lot of people with poor self-esteem sit on their dreams and goals
for years due to a constant, negative thought process, which tells
them they are not good enough to make their dreams a reality.
They truly believe their dreams will never come true or work, so
they ask themselves, “What’s really the point in trying?” These
feelings can attribute to constant anger directed at life or at other
people.
*****************
Minute Motivator
*****************
1. Start a new diet, and join a gym to begin building a new you.
2. Adopt the philosophy that small rewards should be obtained
after achieving success in tiny steps. Reward yourself when you
achieve something, whether big or small. This will give you some
self-pride and satisfaction, allowing you to focus on promoting self-
development.
5. Go ahead, and welcome mistakes. This will allow some room for
criticism, and reinforce the reality that no one is perfect.
Sometimes, you can only do your best and nothing more. Beating
yourself up over a mistake is not healthy or worthwhile.
6. Make mini, achievable goals. This will give you satisfaction, and
reinforce the reality that progress is being made. You can then
celebrate your successes, and learn to appreciate yourself more.
The best example I can give (which I know most people can relate
to) is think of a time when you were running extremely late for
something, maybe work. You rushed to your car, and while driving,
you notice that you are hitting every single red light on the planet.
This makes you even more frustrated, and on top of that, the car in
front of you literally could not drive any slower. Your temper flares,
and you end up shouting like a madman in your car at everything
that gets in your way. Sound familiar?
Well, it all has to do with what you’re focus on. Had you not been
in a hurry or a frustrated state, your mind would not have
processed each red light as a painful dilemma, and the car in front
of you would not have been such a nuisance. It all has to do with
your perception.
On the flip side, I am sure you can think of days where you have
woken up, the sun is shining, and you feel like you’re on top of the
world. You leave your house on time and are in a great mood.
Other drivers do not bother you. In fact, you barely even notice
them. You even decide to be generous, allowing others to go
ahead of you. Every red light you stop at is no hassle. You just
enjoy what is going on in the world outside, listen to your music,
and get to work in a timely fashion. Thus, a great beginning
equates to a great day. Does that sound familiar to you as well?
Again, all of this is mental. What you focus on, you attract. Where
focus goes energy will flow. Remember that?
This is where I hand the baton over to you, and you begin to take
action, starting with tiny steps that will lead to a better life. By now,
you should certainly know what you want to get out of life. Now,
comes the moment to put your words and thoughts into action.
Days 1- 7
The first week will be used to research, collect your tools, and
digest this e-book. If you haven’t already (and can), buy a diary
and a journal. This will help you to record your thoughts and
feelings throughout the upcoming weeks.
Your first goal is to create a list of your wants and desires. Write
these out along with the reasons why you want to make each
change. These are contained within the first few exercises of Step
1 (feel free to refer back). Identify your strengths and weaknesses,
and have a clear plan in place.
Take small steps where you build confidence through daily tasks.
These steps may be as simple as communicating with a family
member or loved one, spending some time with someone, or
letting a friend know you care. No matter how small, take a new
step confidently that you would not have had the courage to take
the week before.
Day’s 8-14
This week and the next should include Steps 2 and 3, which is
going to be difficult. You have now been introduced to the idea that
emotional strength needs to be mastered. This means you must
understand your past and identify your values and beliefs to see if
they align with your current situation and lifestyle.
Take time to rediscover your inner beliefs and core values. The
exercises inside this book are perfect for this. Inside your diary,
make sure to have your daily incantations written out, so you can
verbalize them to keep you focused throughout the week.
If you have a fear that you want to overcome, now is the time!
Identify it (or them), and design a clear strategy for confronting it
(or them).
Day’s 15 – 21
You know your beliefs, your values, and your standards. You
should understand if any conflicts exist. You should be focused on
making progress and changing your rituals so that they match your
goals in life. If you are still struggling, then revisit the book again,
and complete the steps and exercises until you are satisfied with
your progress.
Please note that if your conflicts are an issue, you may need
professional help. Take this opportunity to ask for help, and book
an appointment with a professional therapist. You can also open
up your heart and soul to someone you really trust (a close friend,
spouse, parent, or sibling).
Day’s 22-28
Help other people; make this week the week where you help as
many people as possible. Do things for others, but do them for
yourself not for praise. Make solid decisions, and be proactive.
At the end of each week, look back and reflect to see what you
have done. Compose a plan for the next week. Everyone loves a
man with a plan, right?
Now, plan your next 28 days, and take your life to the next level!
Here are some action plan examples for key areas of life that most
people can relate to or want to change:
Career- First, identify what it is you dislike about your job. What
skills do you have or want to have that could make it better? If you
desire a complete career move, then start making changes and
updates to your CV or resume. Go to your local job agency, and
upload your CV or resume with them. Start to actively search for
your new dream job, or begin a new part time course to sharpen
your skills.
Health and Fitness – Visit your local gym or fitness center, and
ask for an introduction or tour. Research online or speak to a
nutritionist about your diet, and create a new, healthier eating
regiment. Make sure your next meal is a healthy one. Bite the
bullet, and cut out fried foods, chocolate, fats, and bad
carbohydrates. Measure your body weight, and record it each day.
Measuring your progress will allow you to reward yourself, and
take pride in your progress.
If you are single, maybe try a dating site. Load up some flattering
pictures of your gorgeous self, and create a clear, concise
description of who you are and all your qualities (Try to avoid any
negatives, but be honest).
If dating sites are a no-go for you, it’s okay. Do not panic! Have
patience, and enjoy your time. Immerse yourself into meeting new
people and friends. You never know who might be around the
corner, just waiting to sweep you off your feet.
Lastly, positive thinking will most definitely put you in good stride
for success. Attracting the good energy surrounding you will
improve your life. Simply having good thoughts from the moment
you wake up can affect your whole day, and keep you focused on
bigger and better things.
A wise man will desire no more than what he may get justly, use
soberly, distribute cheerfully, and leave contentedly
-Benjamin Franklin
Along with having the right frame of mind, it’s a great idea to get
your finances on track. The pressures associated with debt and
financial problems are a major source of stress and one of the
main reasons many people want to make a change in their life.
For most of us, money is a major part of our lives. Debt influences
how we spend our remaining money once we have paid off our
monthly debts. Debt causes bankruptcy; debt subdued and
minimized creates financial freedom.
Debt does not fuel the economy; it only suffocates it. It does not
nurture growth; it stunts and poisons it. Extreme debt is not a
fundamental organ in the body of commerce; it is an aberration, a
spreading of cancer, which disrupts the circulation of healthy trade.
Debt, in large, is unnecessary.
Of course, debt can be very useful if you need to buy a home or
finance a business. The good news is that over the last year or so,
people have made more of a concerted effort to save and reduce
credit card debt. Due to this trend, consumers will also be
affected, through mortgages, car loans, credit cards, and student
loans. This will cause slower economic growth and potentially
weaken the job market.
What were the “money messages” you received growing up? How
did your parents handle or talk about money? Did they have
enough money? Were they constantly comparing their money with
wealthier people in the community? Did they argue over money?
Did they try to buy your love and respect with “things” instead of
touch and empathy? What you learned about money as a child
influences your attitudes and actions around money today, and
you may need to free yourself of this “negativity toward having
money” mentality.
On the other hand, a person may stick his head in the sand,
pretending money issues don’t concern him. This obsession to
accumulate more and more money, possessions, prestige, control,
and honor puts his relationships, health, and other interests at risk.
The advantages of reducing debt include that you will have more
savings and expendable income at your disposal (instead of
wasting most of your hard earned cash paying off interest and
credit). The object is to become financially free to save money, and
create your own wealth. When reducing debt, you can also reduce
the emotional scars which money sometimes represents. Some
people use money to gain respect, which will only create false
expectations.
3. Speak with your bank for free financial advice. They are
professionals, and they may provide you with the answers you
have been struggling to find.
What you focus on, you will attract. The road to freedom starts
inside your mind, so you need to focus on saving money and
spending less than you earn. I know that seems like common
sense, but believe me, a lot of people live way beyond their means
daily.
Please feel free to fill in your details, or copy this out into your
journal.
Mortgage/Rent:
Council tax:
Gas, Electricity, Oil:
All personal property insurance:
Food:
Expenses:
Clothing:
Telephone:
Internet and TV:
Car tax and insurance:
Car running costs:
Car service:
Children’s expenditure:
Loans:
Credit cards:
Savings:
Holidays:
Total Expenditure =
Personal Income:
Any Additional Family Income =
Once you have filled this out, you will be able to see roughly what
your outgoing expenses are per month, and how much money you
have left over. Now, you can easily identify what areas (if any) you
can save money on, and use that spare money to start your
“honey pot,” which you can build upon.
I hope the last 4 steps have been beneficial, and you are in good
shape for taking decisive action to create a better life for yourself.
In this section, I am going to talk about health and diet, while also
covering some of the topics you may have already read. I want to
make sure, by the end of this book, you have done all the
exercises and are committed to start making some small changes
in your life.
*****************
Minute Motivator
You are the only one who can push for success. Do not let
other people write your destiny for you. It is in your hands so
be confident. Be wise, and learn as much as you can.
Knowledge is power to those who know how to use it.
*****************
Treat Yourself
The method behind this madness allows you to gradually ease into
a pattern of working hard during the week and having something to
look forward to at the end of it. If you completely cut out all
rewards, there is a good chance that your mind will start to find the
task boring, and you won’t be stimulated or motivated to continue.
This will eventually cause you to give up.
I want to remind you that the main focus here is to stimulate your
mind with progress. After several weeks and months of adapting,
your mind will love the new you, and the old you will feel like a
distant memory.
Even if your plan only includes walking three times a week for
thirty minutes a session, that will still make a huge difference to
your life. It will give you a great feeling of accomplishment.
For me, it’s the psychology behind being healthy and active that
excites me. When you decide that it’s a must to go to the gym,
then you discover a new purpose and goal to get in shape. Maybe
you want to lose some weight or have bigger muscles. Either way,
good fitness is a very attainable goal to have. You will start to
enjoy seeing your results as they come and basking in the
elevated feelings of phenomenal self-worth.
Make a plan, and schedule to get started. You should also track
results in your journal or diary, including your current weight, your
targeted weight, and a record of each session. This will give you a
great reference to look back on to see your improvement.
Along with fitness you should also implement a good diet. So, if
you are wanting to lose weight, do some research online, and look
for healthy diets that might suit your needs. Consult with a
physician, and try one out. Simply cutting down on carbs and
eating more fruit and vegetables is a great start.
###
I just want to personally thank you for reading this book. I hope it
brings new meaning to your life and sets you on a course that will
be both rewarding and satisfying. Your emotional needs are
essential for understanding your current situation and why you are
who you are.
Please feel free to revisit any part of this e-book, and redo any of
the tasks or exercises again. Your destiny is in your hands. Do not
let someone else tell you who or what you should be. You’re here
for a purpose, so identify that purpose, find a path that best suits
you, and start making the necessary changes to make great
progress. If you do all of this, you will definitely experience
success.
Once you have achieved your goals, you will naturally want to
improve other areas of your life, which is perfectly natural because
our life is constantly changing. However, the main purpose of this
book is to show you the emotional tools that will allow you to adapt
to ever-changing situations.
Do remember if you find that you are still not strong enough to do
this by yourself, then DON’T. Ask for help. There is no shame
seeking guidance, and there are professional therapists out there
waiting to help you. Communicate with your friends and family. A
problem shared is a problem solved, and it is most definitely a
strength to admit a weakness. So, please do not ever suffer alone.
Please keep a look out for my next book, and let me know how
your transformation is coming along.
http://twitter.com/Oraclewellbeing
James Dawborn
*****************
Minute Motivator
Do not let pain cause you to suffer. Find the meaning behind
each action, and allow it work in your favor. Your life will be
amazing, and you will inspire not only your loved ones but
also the people around you. Live with passion, my friend, and
live with pride.
*****************