Memento Mori: August/September 2021

MEMENTO MORI
AN ICCFA MAGAZINE AUG | SEP 2021
Hot Topics INSIDE:
Death
Strategic Outsourcing
in Permanent Placement
Care
Cemetery Trends
Trauma & Loss
Employee Retention
Highlights from the
Retirement Planning
2021 ICCFA Virtual
Convention & Expo Death Discussions
They knew who the major players
were, and most impor tantly, they
knew who would close.
D AV I D L . R A B E N H O R S T
Rabenhorst Funeral Home
We appreciate your sensitivity

and understanding in regards to
the difficult decisions we faced in
choosing a successor to continue
our family legacy.
MARK & DIANE MUSGROVE

Musgrove Mor tuaries and Cemeteries
I was ver y comfor table with the

professional yet personal way
details were handled, and now
that we’re finished I am ver y
confident in the results.
D AV E M A R T I N
Mar tin Funeral Home
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CONTENTS
VOLUME 81 | NUMBER 7 AUG | SEP 2021
24
Is Your Deathcare Business
28
Be Like Mike and
Dying a Slow Death? Master the Fundamentals
A Cemetery Trust Primer
by Beth Kmiec
Disruption
Could Be Your
Springboard to
Growth
by Christopher Keller
32
Death By Suicide 36
Responding to a Traumatic Are You the Go-To
and Sudden Loss Person at Work?
by Anne Moss Rogers What the
o
‘Indispensables’ D
Differently
by Bruce Tulgan
40
Cremation &
Permanent Placement
Educating Families
About the ‘Whys’
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD
44
Navigating the New
‘Virtual’ Normal
The Art and Science of
Funeral Livestreaming
by Bruce Likly
2 MEMENTO MORI AUG | SEP 2021 www.iccfa.com

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©2021 Batesville Services, Inc.
MEMENTO MORI
VOL. 81 | N0. 7 AUG | SEP 2021 DEPARTMENTS
ICCFA Officers
PRESIDENT
Gary M. Freytag, CCFE SHARING LEGACIES: 2021 ICCFA VIRTUAL CONVENTION & EXPO
PRESIDENT-ELECT
The Three Pillars of an Exit Plan—A Post-Pandemic Tune-up �� 6
Robbie L. Pape by Tim Hermann
VICE PRESIDENT, EDUCATION Being a Part of Online Death Discussion Movements�� 8
John Bolton, CCE, CCrE, CSE, CXE by Gail Rubin, CT
VICE PRESIDENT, MEMBERSHIP & MARKETING Begin with the End in Mind: Thinking About End-of-Life Planning �� 10
Shawna de la Cruz by Julie Masters, PhD
VICE PRESIDENT, INTERNAL AFFAIRS Funeral Companies with Great Reputations Attract the Best Candidates�� 14
Mitch Rose, CCFE, CCrE by Joe Weigel
VICE PRESIDENT, EXTERNAL AFFAIRS In Plain Sight: Ways to Maximize Returns on Your Current Cemetery Footprint�� 18
Lee Longino by Christopher Cooke
TREASURER
Strategic Outsourcing: Is It Right for Your Organization?�� 22
Christopher Keller
by Don Winsett & Ed Gallagher
SECRETARY
Stacy Adams 2020 KEEPING IT PERSONAL AWARDS WINNERS
The Artist Formerly Known As ‘Valda Merle Cumming’ �� 48
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
by Stephanie Longmuir
Nadira Baddeliyanage
GENERAL COUNSEL
Follow the Pathway Toward Healing the Heart�� 50
Poul Lemasters, Esq. by C. Lynn Gibson, PhD, DPhil, CFSP & Jason Troyer, PhD
poul@iccfa.com Shoot a Video, It’ll Last Longer! Sharing Beautiful Memories with a Click�� 52
by Bob Gardner
Magazine Staff
PROSE FOR THE QUIETUS OF LIFE�� 54
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Afterglow
Tatia L. Gordon-Troy, Esq. by Helen Lowrie Marshall
tatia@iccfa.com | 571.323.2983, ext. 1222
DID YOU KNOW? �� 56
SUPPLIER RELATIONS MANAGER
Celebrities Who Died in August
Rick Platter
rplatter@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1213 COVER TO COVER�� 58
COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER
Going About Death ‘The Right Way’
Katherine Devins by Susan Cushing
kd@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1218 EDUCATIONAL FOUNDATION UPDATE��61
COMMUNICATIONS ASSISTANT Final Respondeers PSA Generates More than $1 Million in Ad Value Since Launch
Jason Brown INDUSTRY UPDATE �� 62
jason@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1224
MEMBER NEWS�� 64
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AND PUBLISHER
Nadira Baddeliyanage ICCFA NEWS ��80
nadira@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1225 ICCFA Elects New Officers, Directors for 2021–23�� 80
DESIGN & PRODUCTION Robbie Pape Installed as President-Elect of ICCFA�� 81
BonoTom Studio, Inc. Membership Benefit Spotlight: Liberty Mutual�� 82
info@bonotom.com | bonotom.com | 703-276-0612 Welcome New ICCFA Members �� 82
Memento Mori (ISSN 1936-2099) is published by Attend the September Fall Management & Leadership Conference �� 83
the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral
Association®, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, AD INDEX �� 84
VA 20164-4468; 703.391.8400; FAX 703.391.8416; www.
iccfa.com. Published 10 times per year, with combined
EVENTS CALENDAR�� 84
issues in March-April and August-September. Periodicals
postage paid at Baltimore, MD, and other offices.
Copyright 2021 by the International Cemetery, Cremation
and Funeral Association. Subscription rates: In the United
States, $39.95; in Canada, $45.95; overseas: $75.95. One
Every man’s life ends the same
subscription is included in annual membership dues.
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Memento Mori, way. It is only the details of how
he lived and how he died that
107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468.
Individual written contributions, commentary and distinguish one man from another.
advertisements appearing in Memento Mori do not necessarily
reflect either the opinion or the endorsement of the —Ernest Hemingway
International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association.

SHARING LEGACIES 2021 ICCFA VIRTUAL CONVENTION & EXPO
The Three Pillars of an Exit Plan—

A Post-Pandemic Tune-Up
by Tim Hermann
T
HE UNITED STATES APPEARS TO HAVE decisively turned the corner on • Scenario 1: Business owner sells his
the COVID-19 pandemic, following a year mired by uncertainty and change. business in 2021 for $1,500,000. Using
The U.S. jobs market is heating up, households are armed with savings, and U.S. 20% federal capital gains rates, the owner
corporations delivered better-than-expected earnings in Q1 2021. receives $1,200,000 net after taxes.
• Scenario 2: Business owner sells his busi-
Investors, businesses, and consumers are ness in 2023 for $1,500,000. By then, cap-
focused on the future, and that’s great news. At the end of the day, ital gains rates have increased to match
Over the past few months, I have been ordinary income rates (39.6%) for those
talking to family, friends, colleagues, and finding and training a who earn more than $1,000,000. In this
clients in funeral service about lessons they scenario, the owner receives $906,000 net
have learned in the past year. I’m curious
successor is almost certainly after taxes.
how folks think the future will look. Inter- a multi-year process, The $300,000 difference between the
estingly, just about everyone gives a differ- two scenarios is not a small sum, which is
ent answer about the future of work, life, requiring a lot of attention precisely why these types of issues should
and daily interactions. To me, the variety and energy. Owners should be front-and-center in exit planning today.
of responses is the clearest indication that
the uncertainties of the past year have given consider whether the Question #2: When do you want to
way to uncertainties about the future. leave or sell your business?
pandemic made it more
There is no better way to counter The decision whether to sell now versus
uncertainty than by making a thoughtful, or less clear who is qualified later can be dictated by tax expectations, as
detailed, and ultimately written plan. For demonstrated above. But owners also need
many funeral service and cemetery pro- to lead the business to consider the conditions throughout the
fessionals, this may mean taking a look at into the future. profession and personal circumstances.
your business, its value, and your personal In the funeral service and cemetery pro-
financial goals to ensure you have a clear fession, an owner may want to strongly con-
vision for what you want the future to look cause it to increase or decrease? Do you sider selling during a period of heightened
like. In other words, now is the time to give think pandemic-driven forces—i.e., changes consolidation, attractively priced deals,
your financial plan and your exit plan a to real estate prices, the jobs market, and low cost of capital (for example). The
post-pandemic tune up. I’ll focus on what technology’s effect on how businesses offer macroeconomic environment also plays a
you need to know for your exit plan here. services, and the changing wants and needs role—if the economy is in growth mode and
of client families—bode well for the future expanding, there may be more years left in
The Three Pillars of an Exit Plan of your business or work against it? the cycle to accumulate additional value.
The three pillars of an exit plan are really Answering these questions will not On the personal side, many owners need
three sets of questions that funeral service only give business owners a sense of what to weigh factors like lifestyle needs, desire
and cemetery business owners need to ask their business is worth today, it can begin to retire versus to work, family life, and/or
themselves. to address key questions about how the desire to pursue philanthropic pursuits. At
business’s valuation could change in the the end of the day, what the business owner
Question 1: In order to leave or sell years ahead. wants personally needs to play a decisive
your business, how much would you Another critical issue to think about role in how an exit plan is shaped.
need to receive in equity and/or after- here is what could happen to the value
tax proceeds? of your business if tax rates move higher. Question #3: Who are the possible
Within the context of the pandemic and the While we are not tax experts and we urge successors or acquirers of the
past year, a key data point for all business you to speak to your tax advisor about these business?
owners is figuring out how much their busi- issues, here is a hypothetical example to In all likelihood, the pandemic revealed new
ness valuation changed. Did the pandemic consider: information about prospective successors

Cenotaph MeMorial Wall
or buyers for the business. Maybe the key employees you had in
mind to take over the business struggled to meet the challenges
posed by the pandemic. On the flip side, maybe you were surprised
by how a family member or a third party stepped up over the past
year, shifting your thinking completely about who is best suited to
take over the business.
At the end of the day, finding and training a successor is almost
certainly a multi-year process, requiring a lot of attention and
energy. Owners should consider whether the pandemic made it
more or less clear who is qualified to lead the business into the
Memorialization to honor and remember loved ones who are
future.
interred elsewhere.
The last point to make is that exit planning is a dynamic,
methodical, ongoing process; it is not a single event! Owners should Having a personalized cenotaph plaque which reminds families
not expect to make an exit plan once and never revisit it. Over of a loved one provides the closure most families seek during
time, financial situations change, timelines change, personal needs their mourning process.
change, taxes change, and the economics of funeral service change.
Strassacker Bronze America, LLC
The pandemic, of course, was a catalyst for change, which means Phone: 859-534-5218
owners and investors need to respond by tuning up their financial sales@strassackerbronze.com
and exit plan now.
shop.strassacker.com
Tim Hermann is a Vice President and Senior Wealth
Advisor at Roosevelt Investments and is a CERTIFIED
All expressions of opinion reflect the judgment of Roosevelt Investments at this time and
FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional and holds the are subject to change. This material is not intended as an offer or solicitation to buy, hold
Certified Exit Planner designation. Tim is responsible for or sell any financial instrument or investment advisory services. Information has been
leading the firm’s financial planning efforts and guides obtained from sources considered reliable, but we do not guarantee that the material
clients and families through a comprehensive financial presented is accurate or that it provides a complete description of the securities, markets
or developments mentioned. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. (CFP
planning process. He has over 19 years of experience in
Board) owns the CFP® certification mark, the CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ cer-
financial services and has spent the last 11 years working with funeral homes, tification mark, and the CFP® certification mark (with plaque design) logo in the United
cemeteries, and their owners and operators. Tim can be reached at States, which it authorizes use of by individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s
thermann@rooseveltinvestments.com. initial and ongoing certification requirements.
Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA Virtual Convention & Expo

Why Your Exit Plan Needs a Post–COVID-19 For others, it may mean taking a close look at your role in the
business and developing an exit plan for the first time. Tim Her-
Tune-Up mann took us through some of the longer-term implications for
Tim Hermann, Roosevelt Investment your exit plan due to COVID-19 and changing consumer trends.
Attendees learned about various strategies to help you stay on
I
T MAY BE YEARS before we fully understand COVID-19’s track to meet your business and personal financial goals.
economic and public health impact but we are already seeing
What Attendees Learned
a change in perceptions and expectations from consumers
regarding the future of funeral service. For many funeral service
•
Longer-term implications for their exit plans due to
COVID-19 and changing consumer trends.
professionals, this may mean taking a look at your business, its
value, and your personal financial goals to help ensure your exit
•
Understanding of various strategies to help them stay on
track to meet their business and personal financial goals.
plan is still relevant and effective after everything that has hap-
pened over the last year. Has your situation changed? Is your
•
Identify some of the most common pitfalls that could derail
their exit plan and what steps they can take to account for
timeline different? Do you want to alter your plan for your suc-
them.
cessor? Has your attitude towards investing and risk changed?
AUG | SEP 2021 MEMENTO MORI 7

Being a Part of Online Death

Discussion Movements
by Gail Rubin, CT
O
N MARCH 11, 2020 , the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 to be Reimagine End of Life
a global pandemic. Within a week, most in-person activities shut down as people The first in-person Reimagine End of Life
curtailed going out to help “flatten the curve.” This included death discussion festivals were held in San Francisco and
movements that had grown and thrived over the past 10 years. New York City, with thousands of attendees
at hundreds of free and paid events. These
These movements include: in 2018 with events in the San Fran- included art shows, film screenings, theater
• Dying Matters Awareness Week in the cisco Bay area and New York City. They performances, speakers, field trips, work-
United Kingdom, with events held annu- pivoted to online events in 2020. www. shops, panel discussions, and concerts.
ally in early May. The movement started LetsReimagine.org. Reimagine, a nonprofit organization,
in 2009 and pivoted to online events in Of these death discussion movements, started online death discussion events in
2020. www.DyingMatters.org. three offer funeral homes and cemeteries May 2020. Online events are ongoing and
• The Death Café movement started in the opportunity to participate and con- cover a range of end-of-life issues. You can
the UK in 2011 and as of June 2021, it has nect with the general public—online now, sign up free to hold events as a collaborator,
grown to more than 12,600 events in 78 in-person later. participate in events and offer resources.
countries. It’s an opportunity to discuss With Reimagine sponsorship opportu-
mortality issues openly and honestly. Death Cafés nities, funeral homes and cemeteries can
Death Café hosts pivoted to online meet- Death Cafés provide the opportunity for reach an email list of 28,000, with 20,000
ings shortly after the pandemic shut- people to come together, have a little coffee social media followers. Your logo can link to
downs. www.DeathCafe.com. or tea, some cake or cookies, and talk about your website from the Reimagine website.
• Before I Die Festivals started in the UK what’s on their hearts or minds about mor-
in 2013 and in the United States in 2016. tality issues. The objective is “to increase Before I Die Festivals
In 2020, a pivot to online took place with awareness of death with a view to helping Before I Die festivals boldly take death out
the Before I Die New Mexico Festival: people make the most of their (finite) lives.” of the closet through a host of entertaining
www.BeforeIDieNM.com. It’s all about an interesting, unstructured and engaging free or low-cost activities.
• Death Over Dinner (www.DeathO- conversation—open and free-flowing with These events help participants to think
verDinner.org) was founded by Michael no specific agenda. about, talk about, and plan for their even-
Hebb in 2013. In 2020, Hebb part- Like so many other previously in-person tual mortality. Before I Die Festivals have
nered with health and wellness startup events, Death Café meetings have gone been held in the United States in Indianap-
RoundGlass to launch an online end- virtual. Hosts are using online video chat olis (2016), Louisville (2016 to 2020), and
of-life planning platform called EOL, apps like Zoom, FaceTime, Skype, and other New Mexico (2017 to 2021).
connecting the public to resources for platforms. One aspect of online discussions: During the pandemic, only the New
planning for death. They have a registry geographic distance disappears. You could Mexico festival continued with online
of providers fostering end-of-life plan- have local participants as well as people events by Zoom. This allowed participa-
ning and a marketplace for providers from other states and countries. tion by funeral directors, cemeterians, and
of products and services (https://www. Funeral homes and cemeteries can join end-of-life experts from across the United
collective.round.glass/End-of-Life/ with local Death Café hosts for online or States. The panel discussions and behind-
welcome). in-person events. Ground rules for holding the-scenes video tours were posted to a
• Death Salons, which started in 2013, a Death Café preclude having agendas, dedicated YouTube channel, which has
suspended in-person events, and they speakers or leading people to any beliefs or garnered more than 27,000 views since the
have not scheduled virtual events. These course of action. You can’t sell, but you can 2020 festival ended.
are associated with Caitlin Doughty, the offer resources and tours, talk up special In 2021, as pandemic restrictions ease,
millennial mortician who coined the events, and become a visible part of the in-person events will return in Albuquer-
term Death Positivity. www.DeathSalon. conversation. If there are no local Death que, supplemented with virtual events
org. Café hosts, you can arrange to host your online. Funeral homes and cemeteries that
• Reimagine End of Life festivals started own events. want to host one- or two-day in-person

Highlights from the
2021 ICCFA Virtual Convention & Expo
events in their markets can join with the How to Be Part of Online Death Discussions
festival’s virtual events. To explore possibil- Gail Rubin, CT, A Good Goodbye
ities, contact Gail Rubin at 505.265.7215 or
P
email Gail@agoodgoodbye.com. RIOR TO THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC, in-person death discussion move-
ments and festivals were sprouting up across the globe. Social distancing forced
Gail Rubin, certified these events, like so many others, to go online. Festivals such as Reimagine:
thanatologist and The Doyenne Life, Loss & Love and Before I Die New Mexico pivoted to virtual engagements. Fu-
of Death®, is a pioneering
neral homes and cemeteries continued to connect with the general public in upbeat
death educator. One of the first
online formats. Using live Zoom sessions and pre-recorded YouTube videos, visitors
Death Café hosts in the United
States, she uses humor, film
can take behind-the-scenes tours and get questions answered. Event registrations
clips, and outside-the-box can generate warm leads, create community connections, and foster end-of-life
activities to teach about end-of-life topics. She planning conversations leading to pre-need sales.
authored three books on end-of-life issues and
coordinates the Before I Die New Mexico Festival,
which won first place for the 2018 ICCFA KIP
•Discover new COVID-19 acceptable community outreach methods
Awards. She’s also a certified funeral celebrant •Learn how to engage the public with virtual behind-the-scenes education and
and was recognized by Albuquerque Business Q&A opportunities, and
First with the 2019 Women of Influence Award. •Learn how online videos can provide continued outreach beyond festival
Visit www.AGoodGoodbye.com and www. parameters.
BeforeIDieNM.com.
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Begin with the End in Mind:

Thinking About End-of-Life Planning
by Julie Masters, PhD
C
OVID-19 made real the importance of the deathcare industry in supporting the Conversation?) – a U.S. initiative centered
deceased and their families during a time of uncertainty, restricted attendance, and around National Health Care Decision Day.
decisions to delay or forego having a service. Based on preliminary data from the Other programming includes the “Hello
Centers for Disease Control (2021), there was an approximate increase of 500,000 deaths Game” offered by Common Practice (Hello
in the United States in 2020 from 2019. This can be attributed to COVID-19 along with Game (Home Edition) - Common Practice),
other causes such as heart disease, cancer, stroke, and Alzheimer’s disease. While some the “Talk of a Lifetime” (Funeral Planning
deaths were quick and unexpected due to COVID-19, many others were due to a chronic and Remembrance Ideas | Have the Talk of
condition or conditions, affording people a chance to plan. a Lifetime), and the “Before I Die project”
(Before I Die (beforeidieproject.com)). All
In your day-to-day work, you may are intended, in one way or another, to
wonder how prepared people are for their As attitudes about final encourage people to talk about end-of-life.
own or a family member’s final disposition. For my colleagues in gerontology and
Would they prefer cremation? Earth burial? disposition change communication studies at the University
A religious on humanist service? If they are and usual sources of of Nebraska Omaha (UNO), our research
religious, do they understand what their and teaching focuses on aging and end-of-
faith tradition will and will not allow? A lack information fade, finding life. Encouraging health literacy along with
of understanding about one’s final wishes finding ways to prompt people to think
can be challenging for you and the people
comfortable ways for about end-of-life planning is paramount.
who have been entrusted to your care. people to engage in end- To achieve our goal, we developed an initial
Knowing what someone would like can three-session program to begin at the start
afford a more meaningful ceremony for all. of-life discussions can be of 2021 and concluding in April to coincide
of value to you and your with National Health Care Decision Day on
A Well-Planned Ending April 16.
Consider the recent death of Queen Eliza- organization. Prompting The name for the program, “Begin with
the End in Mind,” was inspired by a lecture
beth’s husband, Prince Philip, in 2021. His
people to think about given by Hall of Fame football coach Dr.
funeral was a textbook example of someone
who took the time and effort to put quill the end can reduce Tom Osborne and is based on the work of
to paper in providing guidance to what he Stephen Covey’s Seven Principles of Highly
wanted, including a custom-made Land
heartache and regret for Effective People. One of those habits is writ-
Rover hearse to carry his coffin. The solemn your customers. ing your own obituary. The title, along with
and dignified nature of his service illustrates the idea of writing an obituary, served as a
the value of planning for the end. springboard for the series.
While royalty may have access to It also allows you and your organization to
myriad resources to assist in the creation deliver a meaningful farewell to those who With Education in Mind …
of a meaningful service along with people have been entrusted to your care. Starting in 2014, we launched the Begin
familiar with protocol, people unfamiliar Several notable programs provide an with the End in Mind series. Three topics
with service planning may be at a loss as to informal setting for people to engage in were selected along with subject-matter
what they would want done. And as people discussion about end-of-life. The Death experts who were knowledgeable about
embrace a more secular approach to death Café movement (Welcome to Death Cafe), the topics and could respond to questions
along with a desire for a more organic started in the UK in 2012 and is one notable during and after each session. Program
service, the usual sources for structure may example of how people are given the space topics included:
be lacking. Providing a forum that affords for conversation. Other examples include • Session One: Writing Your Own
participants a chance to learn of the choices Dying Matters (Dying Matters ), also from Obituary – two faculty with experience
available to them can help ease some of the the UK, and The Conversation Project (The in end-of-life and communication
stress and uncertainty when death comes. Conversation Project - Have You Had The research;

• Session Two: Planning Your Funeral/ first session—again at the recommendation with the most recent pandemic resulting in
Memorial Service – licensed funeral of attendees. canceling programs. However, we consider
director; and To be expected, there have been a few these minor in comparison to the goodwill
•Session Three: Talking about Advance challenges along the way. The initial pro- we can generate in the community along
Directives – licensed attorney. motion of the event through our depart- with helping to educate others, especially
Subsequent years have featured a variety ment website and social media yielded few aging adults, of the options available to
of program subjects, including presenta- RSVPs. We then sought assistance through them for end-of-life planning.
tions on Ethical Wills, Financial Abuse, our University Communications team for
Estate Planning, Palliative Care, Grief and help in pitching a story idea to a local news- Partner with Like-Minded Groups
Loss, Hospice, and the Gift of Illness. Each paper (Omaha World-Herald). This effort For those wanting to replicate this program-
year has included a session on advance resulted in 90 registrations for our first ses- ming, there are some things to consider.
directives at the request of participants. sion. Since our initial offering, we average Plan on each session to be 1 ½ to 2 hours
Most recently, we offered another program 50 attendees for each session. A number we in length. The actual content will be about
on funeral and memorial service planning have come to appreciate. 60 minutes with time for people to arrive
featuring the same funeral director from the We also have faced weather issues along early and stay after for fellowship. Cookies,

SHARING LEGACIES
refreshments, funeral/memorial service Julie Masters, PhD is a topics and honors theses. In addition to teaching,
professor at the University of Julie is involved in research related to end-of-life
planning handouts and such are always well
Nebraska, Omaha. She holds planning and COVID-19 and its effects on aging
received.
the distinguished Terry Haney adults. She is active in the community serving on
Additionally, consider partnering with
Chair of Gerontology. Julie various advisory committees and boards focused
a program in gerontology or aging studies. teaches courses in gerontology on aging adults and is a frequent presenter on
You can find a listing of programs on the and death and dying. She also aging issues and end-of-life planning in the
Academy for Gerontology in Higher Edu- works with students on independent research community.
cation website (AGHE Current Members
(geron.org)). Identifying a gerontologist
to work with you in planning program- Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA
ming can be of benefit to both you and the
educator. With 74% of deaths composed of
Virtual Convention & Expo
persons 65 and older, enlisting the insight of
a gerontologist will help you now and into Begin with the End in Mind
the future. Julie Masters, PhD, University of Nebraska Omaha
As attitudes about final disposition
P
change and usual sources of information LANNING FOR THE END is uncomfortable to many. Research indicates that
fade, finding comfortable ways for people about one-third of U.S. citizens have completed advance care planning. As peo-
to engage in end-of-life discussions can ple age, this percentage increases but there is still a need for people to consider
be of value to you and your organization. what they would like their life, death, and final disposition to be like. Julie Masters
Prompting people to think about the end highlighted Begin with the End in Mind, an innovative program that can be adapt-
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for death by creating meaningful rituals What Attendees Learned
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tual release.” discussion is key.
Contemplating the end is good for us. •The Begin with the End in Mind series is offered on a university campus but can
Offering programming like the “Begin with also be offered in other places in the community including your own facility. The
the End in Mind” series can be of benefit key is to give people information they can take with them as they make plans
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Funeral Companies with Great Reputations

Attract the Best Candidates
by Joe Weigel
D
URING THE 2021 ICCFA VIRTUAL CONVENTION & EXPO , I made a and the length of time they stay with you
presentation on “Reputation Management in Today’s Online World.” My talk both contribute to your employer brand. It
focused on how funeral professionals can take steps to ensure they stay abreast of is similar to your company’s overall reputa-
all conversations taking place about their funeral home and cemetery and how to respond tion, but it is targeted toward job seekers.
to negative “news” and reviews. Near the end of the presentation, I briefly touched on Funeral homes and cemeteries with a
reputation management as it relates to a firm’s employer brand and job candidates. I would strong employer brand can differentiate
now like to expand further on this important topic. themselves in the job market. Crafting your
employer brand is an opportunity to show-
Recruiting and Reputation Stats case all the reasons why your company is an
People want to work for a company with a Monitor what people excellent place to work. This is the time to
good reputation. The strongest job candi- share your unique company story, show-
dates are looking for more than just salary,
are saying on job case employee testimonials, and congrat-
benefits, and whether your office provides portals like Glassdoor, ulate your leadership team. By improving
an occasional catered lunch. They’re look- your employer brand, you can expect to
ing at your company’s brand reputation. Do Indeed, and Monster, attract, engage, and retain the best possible
people think highly of your firm? Are your and respond to both candidates for your open positions at your
company’s values and vision aligned with funeral home and cemetery.
their own? positive and negative
A funeral home and cemetery’s brand reviews. If you’re seeing The Impact of Reviews
reputation is one of the most important Just like you monitor review sites like Yelp
factors for job seekers. Just as you’re judging a pattern of negative or Google Reviews for your funeral home
them to provide a job offer, they’re judging and cemetery, you should also monitor
you on whether they will accept it. But don’t
reviews, it’s time to review sites for hiring like Glassdoor and
just take my word for this. Here are some address the issue and Indeed. Why? These sites have a lot of what
supporting statistics on the importance of Google calls “authority,” so they tend to
reputation for the hiring process: fix it—STAT. rank highly for your branded keywords. It’s
• 76% of people want to work for firms important to keep the strength and author-
with a good reputation. workplace environment. A positive reputa- ity of websites in mind when improving
• 69% of job prospects will reject a job tion will help to attract the best candidates your company’s online reputation because
offer from a company with a bad repu- for your job opening as well as to retain the only those with real strength will be highly
tation, even if currently unemployed. staff members you presently have. visible when job seekers are researching
• 92% of people would consider leaving So how can you build a brand reputation companies.
their current jobs if offered another that will attract the best possible candi- The first step is to set up a complete
role with a company that had an excel- dates? A lot of the same steps for building profile on these websites. A company profile
lent brand reputation. your overall reputation strategy apply. Even includes overview information about the
• 45% of those ages 35 to 44 would if your brand’s reputation is in good stand- company. It also should contain recent
leave their current job for less than a ing, it’s still worthwhile to dedicate extra employee reviews, good information avail-
10% pay increase to join an excellent time to focus on your employer brand. able on benefits and salaries, and plenty
company. of detail on what it’s like to work at your
• 72% of recruiting leaders worldwide What Is an Employer Brand? company.
agreed that employer brand has a Your employer brand is how your company
significant impact on hiring. is perceived by job seekers in terms of its Peer Reviews as Strong Indicators
Progressive funeral homes and cemeter- reputation, company culture, and employee Employee reviews are a key component
ies are investing more to build their brand’s retention. Whether or not people are happy of every hiring portal. The research on
reputation and the reputation of their to work for your funeral home or cemetery employee reviews is very similar to what

Options for
Memorialization
Celebrate Spirituality, Family, Passion, Life
with a Treasured Tribute
Highlights from
the 2021 ICCFA
Virtual Convention
& Expo
Reputation Management
in Today’s Online World
Joe Weigel, Weigel Strategic
Marketing
I
N TODAY’S WORLD, it’s not just
TV news, newspapers articles,
and word of mouth that can
ruin a reputation; we now have to
contend with online reviews. Your
online reputation determines how
others perceive your funeral home
or cemetery when they search for it
online. In this interactive session, Joe
Weigel discussed how funeral homes
and cemeteries can take steps to
ensure they stay abreast of all online
conversations and how to respond to
negative “news” and reviews as well
as how your online reputation has
been impacted by COVID-19.
you would expect for Yelp reviews on your

funeral home or cemetery and the services
you provide in your community:
•
Almost half of all job seekers use
Glassdoor at some point in their job
search.
•
Good ratings of a company’s compen-
Create a Treasured Tribute
sation and benefits are most important.
•
Fresh reviews (less than six months) 1. Choose a photo 2. Choose a Wilbert Legacy Print
have the greatest impact on percep-
tions of your company.
Monitor Your Online Brand

Monitor what people are saying on job
portals like Glassdoor, Indeed, and Monster,
and respond to both positive and negative
reviews. If you’re seeing a pattern of neg-
ative reviews, it’s time to address the issue
and fix it—STAT. Don’t forget to ask current
employees, especially happy ones, to submit
reviews as well.

SHARING LEGACIES
We Provide Exceptional Products and Services
for Exceptional Cemetery Professionals
Your brand’s reputation directly impacts

your company’s ability to attract and retain
Architecture & Design talent. Neglecting your reputation can cause
you to lose out on prospective new hires,
• Structures which will strengthen your competitor’s
• Burial Gardens business and hurt yours. Make sure your
brand is competitive in today’s job market
• Master Planning by improving your employer brand.
Joe Weigel is the founder of

Weigel Strategic Marketing.
Before starting his marketing
firm, Joe held senior marketing
construction and communications positions
at Batesville Casket, Wilbert
• Installation Funeral Service and Genesis
• General Contracting
Casket. Joe possesses a deep passion for funeral
service and has a comprehensive background in
• Support all areas of marketing and communications and a
frequent speaker on these topics. Joe is also a
published author on marketing, communications
and media relations. Joe has a BS in Journalism
from Ball State University and an MBA in
Marketing from Xavier University. He also served
PrecAst ProDucts as a marketing professor at the University of
Cincinnati.
• Vaults
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In Plain Sight: Ways to Maximize Returns on

Your Current Cemetery Footprint
by Christopher Cooke
P
otential is wasted when it is not applied. When you look around your facility on We utilized volunteers from our local
a daily basis, consider the potential in the form of projects, community outreach, university and Master Gardener group to
and revenue generation. When I first became Superintendent of City Cemeteries help out with taking pictures to document
over 13 years ago, I was naive and very green as it relates to the deathcare industry. I recall and tag the specific species. I would also
telling my supervisor that we would be caught up on everything in less than six months. direct you toward the plantsmap.com
In my role, I manage around 250 acres of city cemetery property in Evansville, IN. I had a website. It is a website community that
lot to learn about the daily evolution within our field paired with two historic cemeteries hosts botanical collections with custom-
that both date back to the 1850s. Needless to say, I could see potential and went to work ized tools that solve the challenges of doc-
applying it. umenting, organizing, mapping, tagging,
and sharing information about plants. The
The Arboretum Accreditation with a written arboretum plan, with only 25 easy to learn My Plant Map tools are used
An easy start in capturing the potential of or more tree or woody plant species, and by a diverse group of users who manage
your facility is having your cemetery cer- an organizational or governance group. The public landscapes and are avid plant col-
tified as an accredited arboretum through application is free and can take up to four lectors, professionals, community groups,
arbnet.org. Your facility can achieve this weeks to process. weekend gardeners, and more.
Visitors to plantsmap.com have free
and open access to explore and discover
plants, collections, profiles, resources,
and events. Anyone can create a free
sign-in to begin an individual profile and
to add an organization profile. Individual
and organization profiles are free at this
basic tier level.
We were also able to apply for a grant
with our local Master Gardeners organi-
zation to cover the costs associated with
purchasing tree tags. With grant funds,
one tree from each unique species is
tagged within both of our cemeteries. Via
the grant, we were able to purchase these
tags from the plantsmap.com website
and it tied into our organizational profile,
which helped with both a marketing and
education tool that engaged our patrons
through our online plant collection
library.
In the end, we had invested only our
time and utilized community resources
to reach our goals of having both our
facilities accredited as arboretums back
in 2017. The increased amount of foot
traffic alone since we started this project
has equated to new pre-need sales of grave
spaces.

The Monarch Butterfly Waystation it while offering the access to our grounds on grief and loss with a focus on materials
Next, consider establishing a Monarch for the physical library. Since its installation for school-aged children.
Waystation Program within your cemetery earlier in 2021, it has become a popular spot These are just a few ways that you can
to help the Monarch butterfly. Monarchs for folks wanting information and resources take areas in plain sight within your own
face habitat destruction in many forms cre-
ated by society. Monarchs face more subtle
habitat destruction in the loss of their host
plants. Milkweed, the plant larvae feed on
exclusively, is considered a noxious weed,
which means it is often destroyed. In order
to offset the loss of milkweed plants and
nectar sources, there is an increased need
to create, conserve, and protect Monarch
butterfly habitats.
You can visit monarchwatch.org to find
out the details about creating your own
Monarch habitat, which can be as simple
as adding milkweeds and nectar sources
to existing gardens or maintaining natural
habitats with milkweeds. Each region in the
country has specific milkweeds that they
can plant to get started. This is another low-
cost project that can offer a huge return in
revenue from additional sales and commu-
nity outreach with earned media stories
about your own potential Waystation.
Registration costs only $16 per Waysta-
tion and if you want a sign, they run $24.95
each. When we started our own program, I
was told that if there are Monarch butter-
flies within five square miles of our gardens,
they would find it during their migration. I
was skeptical upon hearing that, but I am
happy to report that based on the number
of butterflies that visit our garden in the
first year and each year since, it has been
very successful.
The Grief and Loss Lending Library

A final low-cost community outreach proj-
ect is establishing a Grief and Loss lending
library on your grounds in a high traffic area.
I was lucky in this educational endeavor to
partner with a local 501(c)3 called Be Kind
for Ollie. The mission is to help educate
the community about hot car deaths and
it supports grieving families through book (267) 535 - 1490 or (267) 348 - 5059
donations. The organization provided us www.northeastmausoleum.com
46 West Ferry Street, New Hope, PA
with the physical lending library. Our only
cost was in the labor and materials to install

SHARING LEGACIES
look to our existing spaces, and envision

how we can positively evolve them as
well.
The focus should be to maximize the
income potential for the future. Start small
and own your potential going forward
in order to maximize the return on your
efforts.
Christopher Cooke is the

superintendent of cemeteries
for the City of Evansville, IN. He
is also a certified celebrant and
an ICCFA certified cemetery
executive.
Highlights from
the 2021 ICCFA
Virtual Convention
In Plain Sight
cemetery and turn them into value-added Funding is not a barrier to establishing Christopher Cooke, Evansville City
features or programs that will raise both any of these efforts within your own foot- Cemeteries
your revenues and community profile. The prints. Our industry is evolving daily. In
C
secret is putting in the work to have these order to remain viable for years to come, HRISTOPHER COOKE showed
opportunities up and running. we must get outside of our comfort areas, ways in which anyone can take
existing features from their
cemetery and maximize the returns
on them without much of a budget
to work with. Leaning heavily upon
his experience as an award-winning
municipal cemeterian, Christopher
covered current technologies avail-
able, solar farms, historical features,
arboretums, and pollinator gardens
so that each potential attendee’s
unique property can maximize their
own returns.
•The uses of current technologies
•Solar farms and use of solar in
cemetery development
•Arboretums and accreditation
processes
•Pollinator gardens from start to
finish, and
•History as a way to reach out
to untouched members of the
community leading to potential
revenue growth.

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Strategic Outsourcing:
Is It Right for Your Organization?
by Don Winsett & Ed Gallagher
I f you could save money on operations, improve curb appeal, and enhance the quality of
service you’re receiving at your cemetery, would you be interested?
landscape contractors are the only
accurate ways to perform a cost-benefit
comparison. Other financial factors to
Landscape maintenance is often one Is outsourcing the appropriate option? consider are risk and liability, technical
of the last services to outsource. These Whether you are making the decision to expertise, and time spent managing the
services are typically kept in-house due outsource your landscape maintenance or in-house staff.
to concerns with achieving the preferred keep it in-house, it’s important to consider • Am I happy with the quality and per-
aesthetics, unfamiliarity with the process and evaluate the following before making formance of my in-house labor? Is your
of selecting a contractor, or an uncertainty that decision: staff able to accomplish everything that
with the cost of outsourcing this work. • Does this make sense financially? needs to be done? During peak times
If you’re one of the 50% of grounds or Typically, the cost to outsource ser- such as snow removal, leaf removal,
operations managers who still self-perform vices will be less, as you will only be mulching, and spring turf surge growth,
landscape maintenance, then outsourcing is paying for a portion of the employees’ is your staff able to keep up with the
an option that deserves consideration. time and the equipment that your site workload? Are you paying a lot of
From hospitals to universities, municipal- requires, rather than 100% of those overtime or leaving work undone? Are
ities to cemeteries, each industry realizes the expenses. you concerned about the safety of your
need to keep the focus entirely on the busi- • What is the actual cost of self-perform- employees or with your site conditions?
ness at hand. The outsourcing service model ing versus employing a professional Outsourcing may or may not be the
is an excellent option that provides both an contractor? Tallying the true costs of right fit for your organization. But either
experienced landscape service provider as performing and managing the service way, it’s important to self-evaluate your
well as peace of mind for managers, allowing in-house and comparing that with ser- needs, current operations pros and cons,
them to focus on their core business. vice proposal quotes from professional and future goals.
Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA Virtual Convention & Expo

Strategic Outsourcing: consideration. From hospitals to universities, municipalities to
Is It Right for Your Organization? cemeteries, each industry realizes the need to keep the focus
Don Winsett and Ed Gallagher, The Davey Tree Expert entirely on the business at hand. The outsourcing service model
Company is an excellent option that provides both an experienced land-
scape service provider as well as peace of mind for managers,
I
F YOU COULD SAVE MONEY on operations, improve curb allowing them to focus on their core business.
appeal, and enhance the quality of service you’re receiv-
ing at your cemetery, would you be interested? Landscape
•The pros and cons of outsourcing vs self-performing labor.
maintenance is often one of the last services to outsource.
These services are typically kept in-house due to concerns
•Attendees were taken through colleague case studies on
the decision-making process.
with achieving the preferred aesthetics, unfamiliarity with
the process of selecting a contractor, or an uncertainty with
•Attendees walked away with a greater understanding of
the benefits of outsourcing labor along with a cost-ben-
the cost of outsourcing this work. If you’re one of the 50% of
efit analysis worksheet to better assist them in the deci-
grounds or operations managers who still self-perform land-
sion-making process.
scape maintenance, then outsourcing is an option that deserves

Outsourcing may or may not be the right fit for your organization.
But either way, it’s important to self-evaluate your needs, current
operations pros and cons, and future goals.
Don Winsett, vice president of National Business Ed Gallagher, operations manager of National Business
Development at The Davey Tree Expert Company, is a Development at The Davey Tree Expert Company, has
30-year veteran of the green services industry and a served in many different capacities over the past 30 years
pacesetting thought leader. He’s an oft-quoted industry with various companies in our industry, including 10 years
expert and a frequent speaker on tree maintenance, with the Davey Company from 1996 to 2006. During that
storm readiness, irrigation management, and landscape time, Ed served as the project lead on the Red Roof Inn
industry success. For the past seven years, Don has led renovation project, National Project Developer and
Davey’s business development team through a visionary growth plan, Midwest Operations Manager for our Commercial Grounds Management
connecting the Company’s research-based best practices with customer division. Ed was Manager of the year in 2001 for CLS and a member of the
experience innovation, exponentially expanding Davey’s already-impressive Presidents Council from 2001–04. He was instrumental in the development
client portfolio. Don currently serves on the ICCFA Sales and Marketing of Davey Golf and the Davey Institute of Grounds Management. Ed is
Committee, the National Association of Landscape Professionals (NALP) involved with a wide variety of industry organizations, including the Building
Foundation Board, and the Student Conservation Association (SCA) board. Owners and Managers Association (BOMA), International Facility
He is former president of ISA’s Florida Chapter, and past chair of U.S. Forest Management Association (IFMA), Sales Management Association (SMA) and
Service Sustainable Urban Forest Coalition. Contact Don Winsett at don. National Association of Landscape Professionals (NALP). Contact Ed
winsett@davey.com or 954-303-3333. Gallagher at Ed.gallagher@davey.com or 330-612-8631. Visit YouTube at
https://youtu.be/6FtLrHHzA0I to see the full presentation.
Choose a funeral and cemetery trust team

that shares your vision for the future.
As a national leader in funeral and cemetery trust services, Regions understands it
can be difficult to navigate the highly regulated environment of the industry. That’s
why the Regions Funeral and Cemetery Trust Services team is staffed with both
experienced professionals in trust administration and knowledgeable Portfolio
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offering ancillary services for your tax and legal needs to streamline your trust’s
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To learn more about how our team can help your company, contact our
Funeral and Cemetery Trust Services Manager.
David Falconer | 713.244.8083 | david.falconer@regions.com
Pre-Need Funeral | Cemetery Merchandise | Perpetual Care
© 2021 Regions Bank. Member FDIC. Only bank deposit products are FDIC insured. Some products and services are
made available through Regions Asset Management, a business unit within Regions Wealth Management. | Regions and
the Regions logo are registered trademarks of Regions Bank. The LifeGreen color is a trademark of Regions Bank.
Investment, Insurance and Annuity Products:

Are Not FDIC Insured | Are Not a Deposit | May Go Down in Value | Are Not Bank Guaranteed
Are Not Insured by Any Federal Government Agency | Are Not a Condition of Any Banking Activity

Is Your
Deathcare
Business
Dying a Slow Death?

Disruption Could Be Your
Springboard to Growth
by Christopher Keller
D
ISRUPTION HAS BEEN A BUZZWORD
in the business world for more than a decade,
with dozens of business books written on the
subject. The term is so ubiquitous that I think it’s lost
much of its initial impact or meaning.
What exactly is disruption? A simple diction to, that we weren’t comfortable with, and that we
ary definition would read something like this: didn’t think were “optimal.”
“Disruption is a disturbance or problem, which It also required that we jettison many long-held
interrupts an event, activity or process.” Another assertions about our profession and our customers.
would be: “Radical change to an existing industry or In a certain sense, COVID-19 kicked a door wide
market due to technological innovation.” Those two open for us, and presented us with a world of opportu-
definitions give us a good context within which to nities that we didn’t know existed, and would likely have
look at disruption. been too timid or comfortable to reach for.
I don’t know about you, but after the last year That door is still wide open, but increasingly I see
and a half, I’m feeling pretty disrupted. I feel many individuals and firms desperately trying to shut it
disrupted personally, financially, and profession- again, and try to get back to “the way it used to be.”
ally. Our entire society has been ripped out of its Folks, that isn’t going to happen—and if that
comfort zone, and the echoes and aftereffects will becomes our focus, we lose the chance of a lifetime.
continue for years. It’s been a painful past year; but is
it all bad? Does it need to be? Disrupt Yourself
COVID-19, and the resulting lockdowns and The advertising firm that our company partners with,
restrictions, disrupted the entire world and changed McKee Wallwork & Co, has been working with us
everything—FAST! Our employees, our businesses, and for several years on the need to intentionally disrupt
our customers were all forced to rapidly change and ourselves, and leapfrog back to a more growth-oriented
begin operating in ways that we didn’t necessarily want stage of our lifecycle.
ISTOCK / WILDPIXEL AUG | SEP 2021 MEMENTO MORI 25

IS YOUR DEATHCARE BUSINESS DYING A SLOW DEATH?
Many of you are probably familiar with some of the different The lockdowns
ways that the concept of a “Disruption Cycle” can be graphically
displayed. McKee introduced us to a model that looks much like and restrictions
a wheel.
A business naturally moves through the various stages of the
were “done to us,”
wheel in its lifecycle, starting with “Acceleration,” then to “Matura- but the overnight
tion,” “Saturation,” and “Commoditization.” At the Saturation and
Commoditization stages, a business isn’t really growing, it is simply
operational changes
trying to hold on to where it is—it is dying. In the end, that is a we undertook were by choice—that
losing game.
Is that death inevitable? No, it is not, but the only way to leap- was us disrupting ourselves. “Are
frog back into an earlier phase like Acceleration or Maturation is to we going to dispense with all those
Disrupt yourself.
“But wait just a minute,” you might say, “two paragraphs ago investments in technology, all the
you told us that COVID-19 disrupted us all, so aren’t we all shifting
back in the cycle?” The answer to that is “no.” There is a significant
process improvements, and all the
difference between “being disrupted” and “disrupting yourself.” If additional ways we developed to
you were disrupted, and are now focused on getting back to the
way you did things pre-disruption, then you won’t recognize or take interact with families?”
advantage of the opportunities available through that opened door.
Now, the upside of COVID-19 is that it disrupted everyone, improvements, and all the additional ways we developed to interact
but it also forced most of us to disrupt ourselves almost overnight. with families?”
We figured out and implemented ways to continue to perform our Are we trying to go back to the limited and tightly controlled
critical functions and still support the families we serve. We imme- world most of us enjoyed before? The bigger question is, “Will our
diately adopted technological and procedural changes to allow us to customers let us go back to the old way of doing things, now that
operate in a COVID restricted way. they know for a fact that we can operate differently, and can now
The lockdowns and restrictions were “done to us,” but the over- serve them in the way they are served by every other industry they
night operational changes we undertook were by choice—that was interact with?”
us disrupting ourselves. The question before us is, “Are we going to I suspect that those who try to turn back the clock will pay a
dispense with all those investments in technology, all the process price for doing so.
Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA Virtual Convention

Disruption—Our Business Was Dying the opportunities are tremendous. Are we truly comfortable
with the concept of bulldozing something we hold so dear and
(Even Before COVID-19) and Yours Was, Too! rebuilding it in a completely different way to serve the custom-
Christopher Keller, Sunset Memorial Park er of the future? If we’re not willing to consider doing that, then
we’re in big trouble. The customer of the future does not want
A
LL BUSINESSES ARE DYING; they just what we delivered to the customer of the past!
might be at different stages of their life
cycle. Is this life cycle a linear progres-
sion that can’t be reversed or can a business
•There is an absolute necessity to start addressing these
questions in a strategic way, despite what our short-term
“disrupt” or “re-invent” itself in such a way
metrics might suggest. Adapt or die.
that it leaps backward to a healthier stage?
This affects all businesses, and, in some cases,
•We must face the reality that there will be no “back-to-nor-
mal” state of being after COVID-19 is past—the world has
those businesses that think they are the strongest are the most
permanently shifted on its axis, so deal with it.
vulnerable and blind to the threat. On top of that, COVID-19
took over the world and forcibly rearranged operations and ex-
•Let go of what you hold dear and provide what the future
customer will hold dear. We need to stop trying to convince
pectations in a rapid and brutal way. The firm that Chris Keller
that future customer that they need to value what we value.
helps lead is digging deeper beyond the surface metrics and is
beginning to see the need to completely disrupt their busi-
•2020 was a dumpster fire all the way around; but embed-
ded in that are huge opportunities to redesign and reset
ness, both organically and by leveraging the changes already
your business for the future.
brought about by COVID-19. The reality of this is terrifying but

What Clients Want and Need generation), going back over 1,300 years, the people of that community tear
When Amana introduced the first “Radar-Range” (i.e., down the shrine completely, and then rebuild it again even though it looks
microwave oven) back in 1968, there was no demand perfect and would likely last for hundreds of years if properly cared for. Every
for one. Indeed, no one knew what it was or why they generation of resident has first-hand knowledge and experience of how to deal
would need one. Fast-forward to a world where there is with huge disruption and rebuild the shrine perfectly.
a microwave oven in every home, every breakroom, and Do we have the courage to step through the open door presented to us?
in most dorm rooms. Would you be happy if suddenly Will we permanently adopt and even enhance the changes that have been
they all disappeared? forced upon us, and connect with our culture and communities in ways they
What about your iPod or Smartphone? Apple have been requesting for years but that we have been hesitant to give?
invented something that no one was asking for, or Will we intentionally and regularly disrupt ourselves, so that everyone
knew they needed. But now, if you had to shift back has first-hand experience in how to rebuild our businesses, even though our
to a “dumb phone,” or cassettes and CDs, would you “shrine” still looks perfect? Will we? In our business, we are committing to do
be happy? just that.
Just because a business is doing well, and showing
strong financials, does not mean that they don’t need Christopher Keller is responsible for new development at French Funerals-
Cremations/Sunset Memorial Park. Over the past 13 years, he has led the funeral, pet
to disrupt themselves. That cycle will turn for every
cremation, cemetery, and advanced planning insurance divisions of the company as
business, though some are in a better position to ride
well as their monument company. He is beginning the development of a new “micro-
it for longer than others. Volumes of cases and finan- cemetery” in a nearby community while continuing to maximize and extend Sunset’s
cials are ultimately lagging indicators of an organiza- revenue potential. Sunset Memorial Park is widely known for creative and thoughtful
tion’s health—they cannot project forward and predict design implementation and changing the way cemeteries have always done it. Chris
future changes in customer and cultural preferences. looks at the cemetery and funeral world through a different lens. He is helping his
Sometimes, the simple act of investigating and company develop an entirely new customer base by advertising and marketing in
going through the disruption process has great benefit a completely different manner and creating new ways for families to permanently
in and of itself. It keeps everyone engaged, and it rein- memorialize loved ones. Chris frequently speaks on various industry topics both
forces the skillsets necessary to change the business in nationally and internationally. He serves on multiple industry and nonprofit boards and
the future. is currently an officer on the ICCFA board of directors.
Too often, the only individuals in an organi-
zation that truly have the skills, knowledge, and
experience to change or disrupt a business when th e ultimate in
CASKET&
it becomes necessary are those who established
the business in the first place. Very quickly,
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wake-up call for all of us—that everything can
change in a heartbeat.
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because it is brand new! Every 20 years (once a

Be Like Mike
and Master

the Fundamentals
A Cemetery Trust Primer
by Beth Kmiec
A
lthough Michael Jordan was
certainly talking about sports,
the theory behind his philosophy
applies to all aspects of life and work. It
happens sometimes that we dive into a
project or process, thinking we know what
needs to be done, and spend little time
really learning and embracing some of
the most fundamental aspects. It is only
months or years later when we realize
that we are not on exactly the path we’d
hoped, and if we had spent more time
learning those fundamentals, things might
have gone another way.
“Get the fundamentals down
and the level of everything One area where this is a very common occurrence for ceme-
tery owners and managers is cemetery trusts. There are so many
you do will rise.” other pressing concerns that it is often difficult to take the time to
—Michael Jordan learn all the basics of cemetery trusts. This article will walk you
through some of the most fundamental issues related to cemetery
Perpetual/Endowment Care trusts and cemetery Merchandise and
Services trusts. You will learn:
STOCK.ADOBE.COM / TREETY / VECTORMINE AUG | SEP 2021 MEMENTO MORI 29

BE LIKE MIKE AND MASTER THE FUNDAMENTALS
• Which Perpetual Care Trust laws you should focus on; brand new (early life cycle), you are relying on the distributions from
• How to approach investing Perpetual Care Funds; the trust to offset important maintenance costs, and/or you have a
• The rules that matter when it comes to your Merchandise and low risk tolerance, you would invest for income production.
Services Trust; and If, however, your state allows total return unitrust distributions,
• How to approach investing Merchandise and Services Funds. you are early in the cemetery life cycle, you don’t need or intend
to take distributions from a trust immediately, and/or you have a
Perpetual/Endowment Care Trusts higher tolerance for short-term market fluctuation, then you might
The two most fundamental aspects to understand when it comes choose to invest for total return using a mixture of fixed income
to Perpetual Care Trusts are the rules and regulations in your state and equity securities.
and your investment approach. When it comes to the rules and It is essential that you understand the differences between these
regulations, you want to make sure you have a strong understand- two methods as they will produce drastically different results. Hav-
ing of: ing a basic understanding of the questions you need to ask, as listed
1. Required contribution amounts and timing for trust deposits; above, will help you accomplish your intended goals from the start.
2. Requirements for establishing the trust, such as state approvals Once you have a solid understanding of the four areas of your
and minimum initial deposits; state’s rules and regulations as well as the two primary types of
3. State annual reporting requirements and required information; trust investing, you will be able to manage your Perpetual Care
and Funds more confidently and successfully, ultimately achieving the
4. Any restrictions on investments or fees. goals you set to achieve.
Once you understand these four items for your Perpetual Care
Trust, you will have covered the main requirements to keep your Merchandise and Services Trusts
trust in compliance and functioning the way it should. Next, you When it comes to Merchandise and Services Trusts, the two areas
can shift your focus to how you invest your trust funds. of utmost importance are very similar to Perpetual Care Trusts.
There are two general approaches to investing Perpetual Care You first need to understand the different rules and regulations in
Trust funds: (1) investing for income production or (2) investing for your state, and how to approach the investing of the trust funds.
total return. The way you choose to invest your funds will depend on Unlike Perpetual Care funds, however, there are often more options
a number of factors, including risk tolerance, allowable distribution to consider when setting up your investment approach for a
methods in your state, the life cycle of your cemetery, and your need Merchandise and Services Trust, as there is frequently much more
to either maximize current distributions or long-term fund growth. flexibility in how the rules and regulations are written.
Typically, if you are in a position where your state only allows dis- You’ll first want to understand what amounts your cemetery can
tributions of traditional trust accounting income, your cemetery isn’t keep and what amounts are required to be placed into trust, as well
Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA Virtual Convention

Back to Basics: Cemetery Trust Primer What Attendees Learned
•Perpetual/Endowment Care: Focus on understanding
Beth Kmiec, ClearPoint Federal Bank & Trust state laws around these types of trusts – What are the key
laws to focus on? What types of experts exist to help in
W
HETHER YOU ARE NEW TO CEME- this understanding (trustee, investment advisor, financial,
TERY MANAGEMENT or just need a etc)? Understand which states have enacted total return
refresher, cemetery trusts, both pre- legislation and what that means in today’s economy.
need and perpetual/endowment care, have Learn what to do if your total return unitrust amount has
unique and varied rules that can be com- failed one of the tests due to a downturn in the market.
plicated even for the most senior members
of your staff. Beth Kmiec reviewed various
•Preneed Cemetery Trust: Focus on what is allowed in
different states in terms of retainage. Understand how
aspects of cemetery trusting including trust investing, total you might set your retainage amount (when the law is
return or otherwise, appropriate funding, following state either silent or you want to set aside more). Review rules
guidelines, and what to do when there aren’t guidelines. you may want to think about and implement related to a
preneed cemetery sales program and what impact they
could have to your bottom line.

as the timing requirements for these deposits. Some If you have a moderate to high risk
states have very short turnaround times to put funds
into trust, which can cause issues for a cemetery that tolerance for short-term fluctuation,
isn’t aware of those requirements. have an average age lower than
In today’s world, many families are paying for their
pre-need cemetery contracts over time, which means 75, and are consistently depositing
that it is key for you to understand contract funding
more into trust than you take out
order as well. In other words, when the family has paid
only a portion of their contract, which items get funds for conversions, you will likely want
applied to them first, second, third, etc., as that will
determine the amounts you can keep and the amounts
to have a higher equity exposure in
that must be in trust. your investments.
Next, you will want to make sure you are aware
of any cancellation and refund rules your state has in
order to set your policies and procedures in line with Conclusion
the state rules. Finally, you want to understand any There are many nuances to setting up and managing
reporting requirements, as these can often be very your cemetery Perpetual Care and Merchandise Trusts,
detailed; and you want to ensure you are capturing but once you understand the rules and regulations of
all the relevant details on the front end so your staff your state and set your investment approach based on
doesn’t have to go back and recreate things at report- the specific circumstances of your organization, you
ing time. will be on the path to success.
Once you’ve established your Merchandise and Ser-
vices Trust, you will want to set an investment policy. Beth Kmiec is executive vice president, Trust Administration, of
ClearPoint Federal Bank & Trust. She joined in 2013 coming from
Much like a Perpetual Care Trust, you can take various
personal trust at JPMorgan in Chicago. Beth is an accomplished
investment approaches; but unlike a Perpetual Care
business and legal professional. She has a BA in Political
Trust, if done correctly, you will take a more nuanced Science and Psychology from the University of Notre Dame
approach to how the funds are invested. and a JD from Loyola University Chicago School of Law. Beth
Generally, states have few restrictions on how to is currently responsible for trust administration, client relations,
invest Merchandise and Services funds, although you as well as certain aspects of trust and legal compliance. Beth
will want to ensure that your state is unrestricted. After is also serving as co-chair of ICCFA’s 2021 Fall Management &
confirming that, you should do the following: Leadership Conference in Paradise Valley, AZ.
• Look at your own risk tolerance;
• Review the average age of the beneficiaries
of your pre-need contracts;
• Research the typical amount of time funds
are held in trust before distributed due to
conversion; and
• Look at your overall cash flow situation in
your trust.
If you have a moderate to high risk tolerance
for short-term fluctuation, have an average age
lower than 75, and are consistently depositing
more into trust than you take out for con-
versions (positive cash flow), you will likely
want to have a higher equity exposure in your
investments.
If, however, you have a very low risk
tolerance, a higher average age, and/or your
trust is depleting, then you will want to
reduce potential short-term fluctuation with
higher fixed income exposure. It’s important
to understand how all these questions apply
to your cemetery and work with your trusted
advisor to set your approach.

A SUICIDE LOSS is considered a traumatic grief event, more so
than any other kind of loss. What’s more, grieving people are at
higher risk of suicide, especially those who’ve lost someone to suicide
and parents who’ve lost a child to any cause of death.
Suicide is most often the result of mental illness, physical illness, or
trauma. And how deathcare professionals handle a post-suicide event can
make a big difference in how families move forward.
I am a suicide loss survivor. I lost my younger son, Charles, 20, in 2015,
and a first cousin in 2020. I know how devastating and isolating this brand
of grief can be. Faced with having to make decisions about burying a child,
writing an obituary, and planning a service in a state of shock, I erroneously
called a funeral home that had fallen on hard times and had sold out to a
scam Florida outfit.
I filled out the paperwork, they picked up the body, and when they finally
called, they demanded we pay thousands extra as a sort of “ransom” to get
the body back for cremation. My best friend took over and threatened to turn
them into the authorities and they settled on $500 for covering the cost of
picking up the body and delivering it to the funeral home that I meant to call

Death by
Suicide Responding to a Traumatic
and Sudden Loss
by Anne Moss Rogers
ISTOCK / OVEREARTH AUG | SEP 2021 MEMENTO MORI 33

DEATH BY SUICIDE
The Right Thing to Say

You want to avoid the phrase, “commit suicide,” which
originates from an English law that dates back to the
1400s when suicide was considered a crime. Back then,
surviving family members were punished by having
their inheritance taken, and their loved one being
denied a funeral and a cemetery burial. Today, we
recognize suicide as a public health crisis instead of a
crime. We say “died by suicide,” “took his life,” “ended
her life,” or “killed himself.”
When you are with the family, start by making direct
eye contact and treat the death like any other so that
Loved ones can be in you don’t contribute to feelings of shame that often
shock, or denial, sad, accompany a suicide death. While listening is import-
ant, make sure it’s active listening—leaning in, nodding,
relieved, feeling guilty, and overall, not looking like you want to make a break
or angry. But it’s the for the exit.
Questions like, “What made your son so special?”
intense shame that “How would you describe your mother prior to her
death when things were going well?” are all good places
sets this loss apart to start. At this point, you are just planting seeds that
from others. these families will remember in the future as they move
forward in their grief journey—even if they don’t fully
comprehend them at first.
Here are some suggestions on how to respond:
• They ask: “Why did she kill herself? Didn’t she
know we loved her?”
• You say: “It’s always been hard for me to under-
stand that no matter how loving or determined we
are, we can’t keep someone else alive. I wish our
love was enough.”
ISTOCK / OVEREARTH
• They say: “I should have stopped her.”
in the first place. And while that funeral home was a • You say: “Do any of us have that much control over
better experience, the funeral director was so quiet I the actions of another person?”
wasn’t sure he was in the room; he looked at the floor a • They say: “The death is that girlfriend’s fault. She
lot and couldn’t wait for us to leave. But we were grate- was toxic! I want her banned from the funeral!”
ful to have our son’s body back and that it was being • You say: “Do you think this is what your loved one
properly cared for. would have wanted?”
• They ask: “Can I see the body?”
Those Left Behind • You say: We don’t advise viewing/open casket
It feels as if the people who died by suicide have done because the amount of time between the discovery
this to us; in fact, it has to do with the tunnel-vision of the deceased and the cause of death has made it
state of mind our loved ones were in when they took difficult for us to prepare your loved one how you
their lives. remember him.” (This in case there isn’t enough for
They thought they were a burden. And yet we can’t the cosmetic mortician to work with.)
understand why our love wasn’t enough to keep them • They say: “There is no way my loved one would
living. What did we do wrong? How did we miss the have killed himself. He wasn’t like that.”
signs of hurt so monumental that it would force our • You say: “The death of your loved one was sudden
loved ones take their lives? And if we’ve been dealing and devastating and it’s my job to provide a healthy
with a person with known suicidal tendencies, we won- healing experience for you and your family no
der what was so different about it this time? matter how your loved one died.”
Loved ones can be in shock, or denial, sad, relieved, • If they say nothing, it is ok to sit in silence. Don’t
feeling guilty, or angry. But it’s the intense shame that go to your phone to check your email. After a few
sets this loss apart from others. minutes, gently try and start the conversation again

If you could “plant ideas in people’s
heads,” lectures to your children or other Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA
relatives would miraculously transform Virtual Convention
them into perfect human beings. Has that How to Talk to Families
ever happened? Who’ve Suffered a Loss by Suicide
Anne Moss Rogers, Emotionally Naked, LLC
with, “Tell me about [name]. Help me to get to know him. If
A
you are not ready, however, I can sit here with you in your pain. LOSS BY SUICIDE is like no other and
I will do that for you if that’s what you need right now.” the grief can be especially traumatic.
Given that many of these families feel
Spotting the Signs intense shame and might even be unwill-
If they say something like, “I don’t want to live,” and you feel a fore- ing to confide it was a suicide, directors
boding sense of despair in whatever words they speak, your brain are often unsure of the right thing to do
will say, “They just don’t know how to move forward.” It might mean or say. Anne Moss Rogers offered guid-
that. But for safety’s sake, please assume they are suicidal. ance on working with families who have suffered a loss by
•You say: “I feel a deep sense of despair that is alarming, and I suicide and includes downloads and handouts for families.
worry for your safety. I know those in early grief often struggle
with thoughts of suicide. Are you thinking of suicide?”
•They say: “Yes. I guess I might be.”
•You say: “Tell me more about how you feel.”
•Next: They express their feelings. Listen long enough so they
feel heard. Then interject gently and say, “This is serious. I want
to make sure you are safe from suicide. That is my primary
concern and I want to help. Let’s call [insert local crisis line
resource] together right now on speaker
phone so we can connect you with
someone who can keep you safe from
suicide. Is that OK?”
You should ask directly, and you will
not be held legally liable for “planting the
idea in their heads.” Studies have shown
that idea is a myth. If you could “plant
ideas in people’s heads,” lectures to your
children or other relatives would mirac-
ulously transform them into perfect
human beings. Has that ever happened?
I know the deathcare industry cares
To download free eBooks, about the families they serve. And a
go to annemoss.com/shop compassionate approach that doesn’t
perpetuate shame helps erode the stigma
surrounding this cause of death, prevents further loss by suicide, and
helps families on a healthy path to healing.
Anne Moss Rogers is a public speaker on grief and presents on the deathcare
industry topic, “How to talk to families who’ve suffered a loss by suicide.” She
has written two books, an award-winning memoir called Diary of a Broken
Mind (2019) and Emotionally Naked: A Teacher’s Guide to Preventing Suicide
and Recognizing Students at Risk publishing in August 2021. Find her at
AnneMossRogers.com and EmotionallyNaked.com. Download Anne Moss
Rogers’ books and free eBooks by going to annemoss.com/shop.

ou
Are Y on th e
Go-T o P er s
at W or k ? ulgan
by Bruce T

What the ‘Indispensables’ Do Differently
H
OW CAN ANYBODY SUCCEED in today’s increasingly
demanding and uncertain world of work? How do you navigate
through constantly shifting priorities and unclear lines of
authority? How should you think and conduct yourself when there are
so many factors outside your control?
When boom goes to bust or bust goes back to There are as many different styles and stories as
boom, who is still indispensable? Who will keep add- there are go-to people. And there are many wannabes
ing value, no matter what? and plenty of imposters.
It is those I call “go-to” people. They are the people You might think that the indispensable person
I’ve been studying for decades now. They are the true is the person who is the technical expert who has
indispensables in every workplace, those upon whom a relative monopoly on vital skills for key tasks and
you should look to model yourself—in the best of responsibilities.
times—and especially in challenging of times. Of course, your ability to do your job is of the
What truly sets apart those truly indispensable utmost importance. But that’s just the price of entry.
go-to people? In fact, most people would much rather work with
someone who may not be the greatest technical
expert, but who is reliable and good to work with;
someone who has a great attitude and takes personal
responsibility for the role and what he or she can do to
make the situation better now.
Does that mean the indispensable person is the
one who always says yes, yes, yes, to any request or
proposition? No.
I’ve seen hundreds of cases where the person who
says yes, yes, yes, to please you up front, isn’t able to
deliver on the back end. Their overpromising causes
you more problems than you had to begin with. And
I’ve seen hundreds of cases of people who say yes,
yes, yes, who are indeed honorable, responsible, and
capable, but become over committed; therefore, they
start juggling too many competing priorities and
inevitably start dropping the balls and getting burned
out and overbooked. Most people prefer to work with
somebody who makes promises they can keep over
somebody who promises the world but doesn’t deliver.
What It Is, What It Isn’t

You might think the indispensable person is a steam-
roller who will get it done, no matter what—the per-
son who can always find a work-around, who’s willing
to break the rules, to bend the rules to get things
done. No. Go-to people who stand the test of time are
the ones who figure out how to work within the rules
and the chain of command.
Is it the person who is great at juggling compet-
ing priorities? No. It is the person who—no matter
ISTOCK / NEOLEO AUG | SEP 2021 MEMENTO MORI 37

ARE YOU THE GO-TO PERSON AT WORK?
The more valuable you

how long the to-do list and all the make yourself to others, the
interruptions—has a relentless focus
on next steps and finishes what he or more they will truly want
she starts. to work with you, want to
You might think it is the person
who is the best at personal rap- make good use of your
port-building and internal politics.
time, want to do things for
No. It is the person who is focused
on continuously improving the work- you too, and really, truly
ing side—not the personal or politi-
cal side—of working relationships.
want you to succeed.
Being indispensable doesn’t have
to mean being quadruple-booked
all the time, never taking vacations,
always being under-slept and over-tired, always overwhelmed and How to Be the Go-To Person
juggling competing priorities. In fact, the biggest mistake people How do you do it?
make in trying to be indispensable is trying to do all that; and it is a •Ensure communication alignment—up, down, sideways, and
set-up for failure and burnout. diagonal—through regular ongoing structured dialogue. Use
True go-to people—those indispensables, who stand the test vertical alignment with your boss to set you up for success,
of time—have a special way of thinking about collaboration and working things out with colleagues on their own level.
conducting themselves in workplace relationships: •Know when to say no and how to say yes. Evaluate every
• THE THINKING: They have a strong philosophical bias for opportunity—great and small—with real due diligence. Know
service, which is precisely why they are not always available to what you can and cannot do; what you are allowed and not
everybody. allowed to do; what you should or should not do. Know when
• THE CONDUCT: They treat other people’s needs with great to say no to free up room for better yeses; and never say yes
respect, so they do not make commitments they cannot keep. without first knowing for sure you can deliver. That means
every yes deserves a clear plan of action and focused execution.
•Work smart. Know what you want to be known for—and
Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA keep expanding. Professionalize everything you do by master-
ing best practices, repeatable solutions, and job aids. Specialize
Virtual Convention in what they do best. And keep expanding your repertoire of
specialties.
The 27 Challenges Managers Face: •Finish what you start. No matter how long your to-do list,
execute one concrete result after another. Eat every elephant
Step-By-Step Solutions to (Nearly) All one bite at a time. Break up your work into smaller chunks
Your Management Problems (bite, chew, and swallow) and set aside bigger chunks of “do
not disturb” time for focused execution time.
B
RUCE TULGAN—Rainmaker Thinking, •Keep getting better and better at working together. Channel
Inc.—has taken experienced leaders finger-pointing into continuous improvement. Make authentic,
through one problem-solving session extreme gratitude one of your signatures. And look around the
after another, focusing on one real life case corner with your colleagues to try to plan ahead for the next
study after another: “Who are the employ- opportunity to work together.
ees you are really struggling with? What •The more valuable you make yourself to others, the more they
are the really tough cases?” Like clockwork, will truly want to work with you, want to make good use of
the same basic cases come up over and over again—the your time, want to do things for you too, and really, truly want
same 27. Maybe it’s the superstar employee that the manag- you to succeed.
er is afraid of losing, the slacker the manager cannot figure That’s what it means to be indispensable.
out how to motivate, the one with an attitude problem,
or the two who cannot get along. Bruce Tulgan drew on Bruce Tulgan of Rainmaker Thinking, Inc. based this article on his new book,
The Art of Being Indispensable at Work, (Harvard Business Review Press).
decades of research, sharing true stories from real managers,
He is the CEO of RainmakerThinking, the management research, consulting,
blending humor, insight, and concrete best-practices to show
and training firm he founded in 1993. All his work is based on 27 years of
participants how to apply the management fundamentals to intensive workplace interviews and has been featured in thousands of news
the challenges managers most often face. stories around the world.

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Page 39
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Cremation
Permanent Placement
Educating Families About the ‘Whys’
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD
T
ODAY’S FAMILIES LACK AN UNDERSTANDING of the importance
of permanent placement and memorialization. This unfortunate
trend goes hand-in-hand with the rise in cremation, which, in and
of itself, is a perfectly acceptable choice. The problem I am addressing
in this article lies in what happens next.
More and more families are taking cremated If you educate the families you serve, you have the
remains home with them, often without a plan of what power to help them make transformative choices.
to do with them. In the long run, home storage of Through education, you can help families make deci-
remains creates some unique challenges: sions that are good for them.
• What do people do with the cremated remains
they are accumulating in their homes?
• When they move out of their homes, perhaps into
If you educate the families you serve,
a retirement community or assisted living, do they
take all the remains with them? you have the power to help them make
• And when they, too, are gone, what will happen to
all the remains? transformative choices. Through education,
• Will their children or nieces and nephews become you can help families make decisions that
caretakers?
Other families are choosing to scatter cremated are good for them.
remains, which also can create long-term problems.
In a 2019 National Funeral Directors Association
consumer study, 48 percent of cremation customers Educational Tools to Assist You
indicated they prefer the idea of scattering remains in
a sentimental place. But without a final resting place to “The secret in education lies in respecting
know about and visit, many grieving people end up feel- the student.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson
ing adrift and lost, not knowing where to direct their
grief. For decades, I have advocated for the importance of
As a cemetarian or funeral director, you are a elements-rich funeral ceremonies. Full-service funerals
professional with a time-tested, honored solution to are so critical because they help mourners, in multi-
this widespread and growing problem. You are the ple ways, embark on a healthy path to healing. Unless
key. You are the person in the position to help families deathcare providers like you teach them the value of
understand the value of permanent placement and the various elements of ceremony, today’s families
memorialization. often eliminate visitations and the use of symbols
SHUTTERSTOCK / PHOVOIR / STOCK.ADOBE.COM / RASHADALIYEV AUG | SEP 2021 MEMENTO MORI 41

CREMATION AND PERMANENT PLACEMENT
(specifically, the body), as

well as essential actions,
such as the procession, the
committal or inurnment,
and the reception.
It is now also time for
you to educate families
about why they should con-
sider allowing you to help
them choose and memori-
alize a final resting place.
To assist you in your
role as permanent-place-
ment educator, I have
created two “Final Resting
Place” tools: a poster to
hang in your arrangement
room as well as your lobby,
where any visitor can see
and learn from it, and a
Final Resting Place Brochure
brochure to provide to and (Top) and Final Resting
review with families. Place Poster (Right).
By design, the tools are
practical and easy to under-
stand. The poster educates families about the “whys”
of choosing a final resting place, and the brochure goes brochure, you’ll see a vague tombstone shape with five
into more depth about each of these “whys.” colorful bursts in front of it. Each of the bursts contains
When families choose cremation, you have the a phrase that represents a critical “why” for families to
opportunity—and, I would argue, the responsibility— consider as they decide whether to choose a final rest-
to educate them then and there about the “whys” of ing place for their loved one.
choosing a final resting place and guide them in finaliz- Being trained to effectively teach these “whys” will
ing all the decisions this choice entails. allow you and your staff to gain knowledge, learn skills,
In the poster graphic and on the cover of the close performance gaps, and preserve the value of
permanent memorialization. The beauty of compas-
sionately providing this information to the families you
Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA serve is anchored in the reality that the highest level
Virtual Convention of a “customer-serve” experience is teaching families

something they do not know.
2021 Keynote Speaker: Dr. Alan Wolfelt Teaching the Whys
Thursday, May 13, 2021 Realizing that many families have never been taught
D
the “whys” of permanent memorialization, you’ll be
R. ALAN WOLFELT with the Center for Loss & Life Transition
prepared to educate them as follows:
explored the reality that more and more people are questioning the
value of funerals and the need for permanent memorialization. When
Respect—
people don’t understand the WHY, they are at risk for confusing efficiency
Even in death, the body of a precious loved one
with effectiveness. Dr. Wolfelt focused on the WHY. He reminded us
deserves respect. When we place the remains in a
that our ability to sensitively convey the value of this important decision
permanent, secure, sacred, and public location, we are
is directly related to our fundamental belief in its importance. This
forever honoring the life of the person who died as well
inspirational, information-rich presentation encouraged us to use a model
as the body that animated that life.
of information, education, and honoring of choices. In doing so, we will
not only be looking out for the families we serve, we will be fostering the
Connection—
long-term well-being of our community and of society.
A final resting place is a special place for you and others
to visit, as well as a spot for friends and family to gather

and remember. Again, without a final resting to make their choices, and you are honoring on this topic at local service organization
place to know about and visit, many grieving those choices, no matter what they are. meetings and places of worship.
people end up feeling adrift and lost, not By respecting each family’s unique con- When used together with the “Why of
knowing where to direct their grief. This cerns, questions, objections, and choices the Funeral” funeral-service materials I
often happens with inaccessible, undefined, as you educate, you are building trust and created several years ago, these new “Final
or unmarked scattering locations and can be strengthening your organization’s relation- Resting Place” tools will help you educate
particularly pronounced in cases when a per- ship with each. your families and communities about the
son’s remains are located in multiple spots. importance of funeral ceremonies.
Thank you for everything you do each
Legacy—
Mourning is expressing day to support and educate grieving families.
Honoring family heritage is another essential those thoughts and They need you, and the world needs you.
reason to select a final resting place after
cremation. The location you choose will feelings outside ourselves. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, drwolfelt@centerforloss.com, is
a respected author, educator, and grief counselor.
become a place for both friends and family to And mourning is how we Recipient of the Association of Death Education
pay their respects for generations to come.
begin to heal. and Counseling’s Death Educator Award, he
presents workshops to bereaved families, funeral
Expression— home staffs, and other caregivers, and teaches
Grief is what we think and feel inside us In addition to educating each family, courses for bereavement caregivers at the Center
after someone we love dies. Mourning is your organization has the opportunity to for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, CO, for
expressing those thoughts and feelings educate your community about the “whys” which he serves as director. To explore additional
outside ourselves. And mourning is how we of permanent placement and memorializa- resources related to meaningful funerals, visit
begin to heal. Visiting a final resting place tion. For example, I suggest offering talks www.centerforloss.com.
often helps us mourn. It’s a healthy way to
give expression to our grief.
Peace of Mind—
As cremation becomes more and more
popular, many families are accumulating
cremated remains in their homes. What will
happen to all those urns and other contain-
ers in the future? Choosing a secure, appro-
priate, final resting place for each loved one
Our family serving yours for over 30 years.

is a gift to the next generation. Instead of
transferring the burden to them, you take
responsibility for creating long-term peace
888-239-0351 | www.funeralcall.com
of mind.
See Yourself as an Essential

Educator
As you and your team begin to educate
families about these “whys,” with the help
of the tools I’ve created, you’ll find that
you will become more comfortable having
conversations with families about the roles
and benefits of permanent placement
and memorialization. You will get better
at answering questions and addressing
objections. The Revolutionary First Call Pouch, Cot Cover, & Pet Carrier Solution
Of course, your job is always to educate,
and never to strongarm. You are simply edu- PROUDLY MADE IN THE USA
cating families about the important choices
they have, because most of them are coming
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these choices. Then, you are allowing them

by Bruce Likly
Navigating
New
Virtual
the
Normal The Art and Science of Funeral Livestreaming

F OR THE PAST 18 MONTHS, homes and funerals have had to adjust to a new “pandemic
normal.” In addition to learning novel health and safety protocols, homes have had to plan
services over Zoom, enable online payment, and, perhaps most critically, livestream funeral and
memorial services, often for the very first time. Many homes are probably wishing for a return to the
good old days of in-person, onsite-only interactions with bereaved families. Yet the evidence suggests
that our new reality is here to stay. Funeral homes must continue to build their virtual capabilities
because that’s what our families have come to expect – and, increasingly, that is what families need,
with or without a pandemic in play.
Consider the latest research from The Foresight

Companies, a leading national funeral home consulting
organization. They have found that:
• 40% of consumers believe livestreaming of services
will be available permanently.
• 43% believe that remote attendance demonstrates
care (an increase of 72%).
• 46% say they will handle funeral arrangements
remotely.
• 52% say they will only do business with companies
that provide online pricing options.
What do these numbers tell us? Successful homes
will either build and leverage their virtual capabilities or
lose clients to more savvy competitors.
Funeral livestreaming, in particular, will outlast the
pandemic, largely because the need for it existed long
before we ever heard of COVID-19. How so? According
to the Census Bureau, the average American moves
11 times and works 11 jobs across a lifetime [Bureau
of Labor Statistics]. More and more elderly people are
moving to the sun-belt states. All of these factors (and
others) add up to more time and distance between
loved ones at time of death.
Pre–COVID-19, our company found that 90% of
funerals involved friends and family who wanted to who may live across an ocean
attend a service but couldn’t. That fact will remain even or be confined to a hospital bed.
after the pandemic ends. The only difference now is Safe Haven means providing
this: The ubiquitous use of livestreaming during the a private, safe, and non-judgmen-
pandemic has proven that we don’t need to grieve apart, tal space for grieving loved ones to
even if we can’t be there in person. Thanks to new tech- express their feelings. It’s the reason
nologies like TribuCast®, everyone who wants to attend why we hold funerals in churches and not
a funeral can do so, regardless of where they live, their shopping malls, and it’s why services held in bars or on
health status, or their work and family responsibilities. social media almost always fall flat.
Finally, transformative funeral services embrace per-
In Person or Online—Make It Meaningful sonalized Touch Points that help the bereaved process
So how do you learn to leverage the value of the virtual? their loss. Such touch points might include eulogies,
By understanding that the elements of a transfor- photo or video tributes, memory books, poetry and
mational funeral service are the same regardless of scripture readings, as well as service programs, prayer
whether one attends in person or online. At TribuCast, cards and guest books, among other possibilities. In the
we describe these transformative elements as the three post-pandemic world, these touch points need to be
pillars: Congregation, Safe Haven, and Touch Points. available in person—and virtually.
Congregation means exactly that: the ability to You may be saying, “I know all this.” But do your cli-
bring together all those who grieve, including those ents know this? Have you helped them understand what
STOCK.ADOBE.COM / RIMMA AUG | SEP 2021 MEMENTO MORI 45

NAVIGATING THE NEW 'VIRTUAL' NORMAL
they need to help loved ones process the pain and heal, including
remote options? Have you made it clear that your home can deliver
what they need, both in person and to those attending remotely? If
not, please consider the following Best Practices:
Best Practice One:

Talk to your clients about their needs.
Ask them specifically about relatives and friends that will have dif-
ficulty attending. If you don’t ask, you won’t know—and they won’t
know that they have a viable option beyond delaying the service or
excluding loved ones who can’t attend on a given day or timeframe.
Delaying a funeral has emotional costs. Let them know that
they don’t have to put off this important process due to issues of
time or distance.
Best Practice Two:

Share your experiences and expertise.
Families may attend 20-plus services across an entire lifetime; you
likely do that in a matter of weeks. Take time to explain the options,
including livestreaming and personalization options, that will bene-
fit both in-person and remote attendees. Be prepared for contingencies; and always, always record the
Let them know that making their service inclusive for remote service as backup, even if a recording is not in the contract. Power
attendees can relieve some of the stress they may feel about loved failures and internet outages can and do happen, and you should
ones who live too far to travel on short notice, or who are too ill always be able to offer a recording, even if your internet access is
to attend. lost or becomes unstable (or if the family decides they really do
It may also help to tell them that, in terms of healing, it is bet- want a recording).
ter not to delay their grieving, nor is it necessary thanks to today’s Finally, use your checklist to do all that you can ahead of the
technology. service, especially in terms of the virtual touch points or personal-
ization overlays.
Best Practice Three:
Work with the family to deliver a transformative Best Practice Five:
funeral for both in-person and remote attendees. Remember that every remote funeral is a calling card.
Do this by always keeping in mind the three pillars of congregation, Just as in-person attendees will remember how the service made
safe haven, and touch points. For example, if the in-person guests them feel, so, too, will remote attendees. In-person attendees who
have a service program, share it with remote guests online, pref- watch the recorded livestream at a later time will remember how
erably where it is easily accessible next to the livestream. This will the recording made them feel. For this reason, the livestream can
enhance remote attendees’ sense of inclusion and congregation. and will reflect back on your business, for good or for ill:
Next, avoid social media platforms, as they don’t tend to be • Did you lose sound?
terribly private or secure. Instead, use a funeral-industry specific • Angle the camera on the floor?
platform that ensures privacy and dignity for the bereaved and the • Get auditory feedback?
deceased, the in-person, and the remote attendee. • Did you provide a service program to the in-person congrega-
Finally, share touch points virtually. For example, if the bereaved tion but neglect to offer it remotely?
is memorialized in a prayer card, make it available and printable • Did you only livestream or did you offer other personalized
electronically. If the family created a tribute video or memory book, touch points?
share it virtually. Offer an online guest book or an “in lieu of flowers” Ideally, your home will consistently deliver a pristine livestream
link. In short, address the needs of all the mourners, regardless of that is easily accessed at the time of the service and afterward,
whether they are watching the service in a church or a hospital bed. and that comes complete with accessible touch points for remote
attendees. This is the kind of product that will build your brand and
Best Practice Four: Don’t forget the basics. your business. Make each broadcast your best.
Before going live, test. Use a checklist to help you. Consider the
following items: Can the remote guests see? Is the lighting appro- Find the Provider That Suits You
priate? Can remote attendees hear? Have you set up the camera When it comes to choosing a livestreaming platform, choose with care.
angles according to the family’s wishes? Do you have a secure and First, take inventory. Think about your team members and their level
stable internet connection? of tech savvy and willingness to grow as our industry evolves. Will they

need training and support? Think about the
hardware you already own, such as a smart-
phone, tablet or fixed camera system. Focus on
Highlights from the 2021 ICCFA
platforms that will let you use what you have. Virtual Convention & Expo
Once you’ve narrowed the field, call the
platform providers that seem most likely to Live Streaming 2.0: matches the in-person experience
enabling all loved ones to grieve
meet your needs. Is your contact knowl-
edgeable? Is livestreaming the company’s Building Your Virtual Brand effectively regardless of their location
main focus or is it an afterthought? Test Bruce Likly, TribuCast or circumstances.
their knowledge about the industry as a
A
What Attendees learned
whole, including their understanding of
what grieving families really need. Don’t be
S A RESULT OF the
pandemic, funeral
•
Why the remote attendee experi-
ence is important and the implica-
afraid to get into the details, such as: homes had to
tions that experience can have on a
• Does the company offer tech support quickly pivot to live
funeral home’s brand image
before, during, and/or after the service? streaming services.
•
Live streaming 2.0. What are live
• Are their team members available 7 This often meant
streaming best practices and how
days a week, 365 days a year, just like that there were far
can a funeral director adopt these
you have to be? more remote attendees than in-person
going forward? (supported with
• Can the company run a live broadcast attendees at funerals. Bruce Likly
actual examples), and
test as part of your training? explored the ways in which funeral
•
What the pros and cons are of dif-
• Is the technology easy enough for even directors can build their virtual brand
ferent live streaming platforms, and
your most tech-hesitant staff members by adopting best practices to create
tips for getting started or “upping
to use? an online environment that closely
your game.”
• Can the livestream be scheduled,
tested, and the viewing link shared in
advance? may miss the purely in-person days of the Bruce Likly, president of TribuCast, co-founded
• Can a livestream be scheduled at the past, the future is here and it demands that the company in 2016 and launched it nationally
last minute? we know, not just how to “go remote,” but in 2018. TribuCast offers its highly personalized
• Can livestreams be started early or how to do it well. livestreaming services to clients worldwide,
and in the past year has enabled 1.5 million
delayed? Or do you have to adhere to a As families are increasingly dispersed
people to attend the services of a loved one
rigid schedule? across the country and the world, it is
remotely. This article is based on an educational
• How easy is the technology for end incumbent upon us to help this diaspora presentation, “Livestreaming 2.0: Building your
users to engage with, especially the of mourners come together, online and in Virtual Brand,” from the 2021 Virtual ICCFA
elderly? person, to share their grief. It’s the virtual Convention. Likly is a frequent guest lecturer at
• Is tech support available for remote new normal, and it’s critical to your busi- state conventions and mortuary schools. Learn
attendees in real time? ness and your brand to make it work for more at TribuCast.com, or contact him directly
• Does the technology have the capa- bereaved families. at bruce@tribucast.com.
bility for personalization beyond the
livestream?
• Can a livestream recording be pre-
served online? If so, for how long?
• Can the recording be downloaded by
the family for free afterward?
• What are the company’s privacy
practices? R E L A M PI N G
Finally, consider the pricing structure.
Do you pay per use, or are you locked into LED light bulbs
an annual or monthly contract? What kind fo r C r y p t s & N i ch e s
of support do you get for your money? How
much investment do you have to make up D O I T YO U R S E L F
front? Think about what your needs are right
now and what they may be post pandemic. s e p te ch n o l o g i e s .co m
The fact of the matter is, remote atten- 1 8 7 7 5 1 5 - 4 67 2
dance at funerals is here to stay. While we

The Artist
Formerly Known As
‘Valda Merle Cumming’
by Stephanie Longmuir
ON MARCH 28, 2020, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, went into what

the New York Times reported as the world’s ‘strictest COVID lockdown’.
Under the new lockdown rules, funerals were restricted to 10 mourners at
both indoor and outdoor venues; face masks became compulsory, all non-
essential businesses closed, and visitors were not permitted in any home.
On 7, April, Valda Merle Cumming, gravel path, accessing power for the PA
Order of Australia Medal recipient, system, film projector, sound system and
wife, mother, grandmother, artist, and computers, and punting on the totally
FIRST PLACE
friend to all, died. Val’s family contacted unreliable Melbourne weather.
Most Personalized three funeral companies, all unwilling to It was important that family unable to
investigate the possibility of a funeral at attend participate and not just view the
Service or Memorial,
their family home before Valda’s daughter, service, so we used Zoom to get two-way
Funeral Home Rowena, contacted Templeton Funerals communication. Valda’s grandson in New
who in turn contacted me. York who is a musician wanted to perform
Stephanie Longmuir
For Valda’s family, it was essential that a song, but we decided to pre-record this
and Associates her funeral service take place in the family song to avoid technical difficulties on the
Victoria, Australia home. A venue that had hosted three day. A photo tribute and other music was
generations of family gatherings: birthdays, also prepared and tested.
engagements, weddings, and in 2019 a From 10:00 am on 17, April, 10 members
week-long exhibition of Valda’s art where of Valda’s family gathered under the 500-
more than 1,000 people passed through year-old Manna Gum tree in her Brighton
the house. garden. Valda’s garden houses some of her
Unfortunately, the restrictions made sculptures; amongst them, we placed her
it impossible to hold the funeral in the pine coffin providing paints and felt-tip
house; but after lengthy consultation with markers for the family so they could turn
the Victorian Department of Health and the simple pine into something beautiful.
Human Services (DHHS), we were given A playlist of her favourite music played
approval to hold the funeral in the garden in the background as the family set about
of the family home. In the week leading up coloring and creating. At 11:00 am, I began
to the service, there were further calls to the formalities by welcoming family in New
the DHHS so ensure all health and safety York, Tahiti, Interstate, and in Country
requirements were met. Victoria joining the webcast; and then
I spent a morning in the garden with we began with a favourite family hymn.
Val’s husband, Lindsay, her daughter Val’s son delivered the eulogy and family
Rowena, and granddaughter Louise; members offered tributes. We played the
masks on, hands sanitized, socially pre-record of Will singing ‘Tennessee
distanced; sharing stories and memories, Waltz’ – a song that was popular when
and looking closely at the space that we Valda and Lindsay first met and became
would be working in. Some of the logistical “their” song and then Lindsay offered his
considerations included managing a coffin thoughts and words on the 71 years that he
through a back gate and via an uneven had known and loved Val.

A photo reflection followed, with more
music. I ended the service with words of
thanksgiving and then a moment of silence
and stillness, in Val’s garden amongst the
birdsong. On her 90th birthday, Valda had
been awarded an Order of Australia Medal
for services to the Arts. She had devoted
much of her life to art, leaving a huge body
of work as a ceramist, sculptor, and painter.
Art along with her family was her passion.
This is what needed to be represented in
her farewell.
By taking the time to ask the questions
and work within government guidelines, we
were able to honour Valda’s life in the venue
of all of her happiest family occasions, we
were able to connect family who couldn’t
be there, and for one final time, Valda was
surrounded by her art and the people she
loved the most.

Follow the Pathway
Toward Healing the Heart
by C. Lynn Gibson, PhD, DPhil, CFSP & Jason Troyer, PhD
AT THE ICCFA CONVENTION ON APRIL 6, 2019, we presented a seminar

titled “Fighting for Relevance: A Healing Path Approach for Cemeteries.”
In this presentation, we argued that cemeteries need to make significant
changes in order to remain connected and relevant to their communities.
In short, we suggested a new idea for “Keeping It Personal” – a meaningful
connections approach that would build trust and value in the importance of
a cemetery’s lasting heritage among a changing demographic.
Indeed, many significant factors have With this in mind, our primary goal was
changed how Americans relate to their local to take direct steps to make Grandview
Cemetery a welcoming and supportive
Overall Grand cemeteries. Higher rates of cremation, lower
levels of religiosity and religious identification, destination in our community. What was
Prize Winner greater geographic mobility, smaller families, only a theory and a presentation in April
and changing economic priorities have all 2019 has now become the Healing Path®
FIRST PLACE hurt cemeteries. Thus, a new approach to at Grandview Cemetery. The Healing
cemetery marketing is warranted. Path® is a self-guided and interactive
Most Personalized
Service or Memorial,
Cemetery
Grandview Cemetery
Maryville, Tennessee

The Healing Path® at Grandview
Cemetery is composed of six stations. Each
station includes an informational sign and
an engaging activity that corresponds to
what we refer to as “Universal Cornerstones
of Care.” These stations prompt visitors with
a key question:
• Dignity: How do I live well with my grief?
• Acceptance: How long will my grief last?
• Support: What should I do to not feel
alone?
• Legacy: How can I keep the memory of
my loved one alive?
• Meaning: How do I avoid feeling
hopeless?
• Ritual: What actions will help me heal?
We believe each bereaved person
will wrestle with most, if not all, of these
questions. The Healing Path® provides
“a sacred space – set apart and designed
initiative designed to help visitors in their especially for your care – a special place for
grief journey. All visitors receive a 30-page nurture, comfort, empathy, reconciliation, and
Healing Path® Field Guide that provides forgiveness” (Healing Path® Field Guide, p. 3).
practical steps and guidance as the bereaved As you can see from the included
search for support, rediscover meaning, map, we integrated the Healing Path® (see
honor their loved ones, and look for hope. blue boxes in image) directly into a new
section of our cemetery that focuses upon
cremation disposition. The vast majority
of our interment services are held at the
new pavilion where many visitors have the
opportunity to explore the Healing Path®
stations and cremation features.
We encourage visits to the cemetery
by all members of our community, not
just those with loved ones interred
here. To combat the many
challenges facing cemeteries,
we created the Healing Path®
to make Grandview Cemetery a
destination worth visiting and worth telling
others about—and a generative place of
lasting heritage.

Shoot a Video,
It’ll Last Longer!
Sharing Beautiful Memories with a Click
by Bob Gardner
THE MEMORY MAKER is a first of its kind, web-based video recording app
that captures the memories, stories, and condolences of mourners. Many
guests of a funeral have stories and memories to share, but don’t want to
exacerbate the family at an actual funeral. By clicking on a link, or scanning
a customized QR code, family and friends of the deceased are able to leave a
video recording on any web connected device with a camera.
FIRST PLACE
Innovative Product,
Suppliers-only category
Capstone Technologies
Haines City, Florida
SHUTTERSTOCK/ DRAGANA GORDIC

ICCFA congratulates the 2020
KIP Awards winners for their
commitment to honoring
The direct informant of the deceased
also has a link where all of the videos the life stories of the families
shared about their loved one are stored for they serve, and for innovative
them to view whenever they would like. products to better serve
Funeral directors can post their clients’ families. Communications
Memory Maker link in their obituary, give and marketing professionals
it to the family to share on social media, from outside the cemetery
and even print their custom QR code in
and funeral service profession
the funeral bulletin or in a sign to display
performed the judging. The
at the funeral.
People who may not be able to make KIP program was created by
it to a funeral in person can now share the ICCFA Personalization
an intimate moment with the mourning Committee to recognize the
family, without ever leaving their funeral very best in personalization and
home. This is a virtual product, with the products in the cemetery and
option of adding a physical product in an funeral service profession to
upsell. Many funeral homes will download
better serve families.
the videos shared and store them on a DVD
or flash drive for the family to keep.

Prose for
the
Quietus
of
Life Afterglow
I’d like the memory of me
To be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow
Of smiles when day is done.
I’d like to leave an echo
Whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
And bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve,
To dry before the sun
Of happy memories I leave
Behind—when day is done.
— Helen Lowrie Marshall
Originally published in Close To The Heart (1958)
(ISBN 0-385-08261-4)
SHUTTERSTOCK / EAKACHAI LEESIN

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COVER TO COVER
Going About It ‘The Right Way’

Burying Outdated Ideas & Disrupting the Profession
by Susan Cushing
I
T’S ALMOST AN INVOLUNTARY FLINCH. Another book comes out about might be implemented within funeral ser-
the funeral business and funeral home owners, directors, and consultants tighten vice. And like any commentary, Eric’s book
their collective stomachs waiting for the proverbial punch. Indeed, many may have has received a few rebuffs; but for the most
anticipated the same reaction when hearing about Eric Layer’s newest release, The Right part, his ideas and suggestions have been
Way of Death. embraced in the spirit in which offered.
Many find it to be the ultimate handbook
Eric’s book is far from a hatchet job on to restoring and revitalizing their funeral
the profession, however—in fact, he spends business.
as much ink defending funeral homes “The endorsement (of my book) that
against detractors as he does identifying meant the most to me was one owner who
opportunities for improvement. His is a fac- called it ‘a pat on the back and a kick in the
tual, analytical commentary based not just tail,’” says Eric with a smile.
on extensive research but real-world results. “I think there are a lot of ways funeral
What’s more, the author is intimately famil- homes are trying to evolve,” says Eric, “and
iar with this line of work. most are making really good efforts. It’s
Eric grew up around the funeral busi- important to bear in mind that this work
ness; his parents even exchanged wedding is never done. The business model will
vows in the funeral home chapel where constantly be evolving and will continually
they were employed. Far from trying to change.”
tear down concepts and practices that he This is true of any business. Keeping up
has personally witnessed and respected his with changing attitudes, technology, and
entire life, Eric’s objective with this book society in general is all part of sustaining a
is to help funeral home owners, just as he successful business.
and his partner, Jonathan David Lewis, have “For funeral home owners, the challenge
assisted hundreds of struggling or stalled becomes endurance and timing,” adds Eric.
businesses. “How do we know how many pieces of that
Eric and Jonathan are the owners of whole puzzle to keep and which ones to
McKee Wallwork & Co. (MW+C) an throw away?”
award-winning advertising agency and mar- to Fortune 100 behemoths. Describing Eric suggests that in an effort to keep up
keting consultancy specializing in turning themselves as “turnaround artists, brand and evolve, some funeral home owners may
around stalled, stuck, and stale brands. survival experts and masters of sailing have actually over-corrected.
More specifically, MW+C has mapped through the tumultuous waters of change,” “For example,” he explains, “funeral
the internal health of thousands of busi- they’ve actually proven the ideas shared in directors have always been leaders in
nesses, including hundreds of funeral Eric’s book—not only with funeral homes their communities—often more than they
homes, using a proprietary process known throughout the country, but in industries appreciate themselves for. As these societal
as the “Disruption Cycle.” In a matter of as diverse as manufacturing, healthcare, changes occur, I’ve seen many pull back and
minutes, funeral home owners and direc- and retail. struggle with finding ways to react rather
tors can identify challenges and successes Given this impressive backdrop, the sub- than lead. The truth is, the people you serve
unique to that industry. This tool even helps title of Eric’s book—Restoring the American need your guidance, truth, and expertise in
paint a picture of how a business measures Funeral Business to Its True Calling—is not this space now more than ever.”
up against its competition. just hot air; this is a substantial book with a Eric stresses that innovation is a journey,
Having put in the hard work, this mission. not a destination. “We all know the stories
24-year-old company can now enjoy about pulling the pews out of chapels and
bragging rights for breathing life back Mission versus Model converting extra space to reception centers,”
into—sometimes actually saving—hundreds Eric takes a realistic and very businesslike says Eric. “You can never think of that as
of brands, from hometown funeral homes look at where and how improvements checking the innovation box. Those are

Eric is trying to convey in his book … what the leaders
probably smart moves, but they’re only and historians of the funeral profession already have
scratching the surface.”
This all comes back to one of the most known all along. He encourages leaders in the field to
important points Eric makes, which is the take back the reins and stewardship, and to be open to
confusion of mission versus model. It’s a
concept that he and Jonathan discuss at the changes that are here and on the horizon.
length with clients from all walks of life and
something he writes about extensively.
“Your mission is your reason for exist- “Kodak’s mission was to document customer, and it cost them their empire.
ing,” Eric adds, “the objective you’re trying memories,” he continues, “taking pictures. They should have clung to their mission as
to accomplish and what you’re trying to But they confused that mission with the tenaciously as they did to their model. If
deliver. The model, by contrast, is nothing specific model of selling 35-millimeter film. they had, Kodak might be a digital leader
more than the tactics by which you achieve It was actually Kodak that invented the digi- and a success story today.”
the mission. The trick is to hold your mis- tal camera. They took out 1,100 patents that
sion tightly and your model loosely.” they never turned into products because There’s a Right Way to Funeral
Eric cites case studies from throughout they were trying to kill the product that The title of Eric’s book is The Right Way
the history of business to make his point. could have kept them relevant. They were of Death. That might seem like a stodgy
Kodak comes to mind. operating counter to the interests of their contradiction of his views on change and

COVER TO COVER
adaptation in the ever-changing face of known all along. He encourages leaders in “I’ll be communicating many of the main
the American death perception. Certainly, the field to take back the reins and steward- themes from The Right Way of Death,” Jon-
the skyrocketing increase in cremation ship, and to be open to the changes that are athan says. “I’ll also be sharing stories about
services and “new-age” alternate forms here and on the horizon. where those themes and learning came from
of burial prove that there are as many Jonathan, a celebrated author in his own and how they can be applied today to a very
different ideas of the “right way” as there right, concurs with these precepts and will new and challenging business environment.”
are people. be a featured speaker at this year’s 2021 Jonathan believes that change within
Clients have evolving ideas and expecta- Fall Management & Leadership Confer- the industry relates to the mindset and his
tions and the competition seems to expand ence at the Mountain Shadows Resort in upcoming ICCFA presentation will focus
daily. But what Eric is trying to convey in Paradise Valley, AZ, September 14–16. on that. “That’s going to be the heart of the
his book is what the leaders and histori- Registration for the conference is open at presentation,” he says. “A lot of speakers will
ans of the funeral profession already have www.iccfa.com/fall. deride professionals in this category or tell
them how they’re wrong. Many speakers
will also tickle their ears and tell them what
they want to hear. The work that our firm
What people are saying … and Eric has pioneered, is to tell the truth.
The truth is that mindsets need to change if
the profession is going to remain as highly
relevant as it has been.”
“Layer has given us exactly what we needed—a You can find The Right Way of Death on
pat on the back and a kick in the tail.
”
—Gary Freytag, President & CEO,
Amazon.
Susan Cushing is a freelance writer for Memento

Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum, OH Mori.
Eric Layer is the author of The
“ Eric’s poignant perspective provides a tonic for Right Way of Death: Restoring
”
the American Funeral Business
our times and a guiding light forward. to Its True Calling. Eric’s
—Darin Drabing, CEO, childhood was marked by
firsthand experience with the
Forest Lawn Memorial Parks & Mortuaries funeral homes and cemetery
where his family built their careers. Today, he
“The Right Way of Death is a textbook on

creating value within the funeral and cemetery
leads the deathcare division as partner at McKee
Wallwork + Co., an internationally recognized
marketing advisory firm that specializes in
profession. A must-read for every funeral generating momentum for stalled, stuck, and
stale industries and brands. There, he has
professional and those wanting to enter the consulted for a number of globally recognized
profession.
” —Jay D. Dodds, President & COO,
funeral brands and has played an integral role in
their campaigns, products, and research efforts.
Jonathan David Lewis is the

Park Lawn Corporation
author of Brand vs. Wild and is
a brand survival expert at
“The Right Way of Death explains the

importance, challenges, and opportunities
McKee Wallwork + Co.
Alongside author Eric Layer,
Jonathan helps lead the
of this profession while showing a path to the deathcare division as president
at McKee Wallwork + Co. Jonathan’s opinions are
future.
” —Mark Krause, President,
highly sought by numerous business and
marketing publications, including Forbes, Digiday,
and Advertising Age, where he explores the
Krause Funeral Homes, Wisconsin factors of stalled growth and the principles
proven to help companies traverse the dangers of
the brand wilderness.

EDUCATIONAL FOUNDATION UPDATE
Final Responders PSA Generates More than

$3 Million in Ad Value Since Launch
A
FTER A SUCCESSFUL INTRODUCTION of the television segment of its television PSAs on their websites as well as
Final Responders public service announcement (PSA) campaign, the ICCFA post them on their Facebook pages. “Also,
Educational Foundation launched its radio portion of the campaign, reaching for those who spend part of their ad budget
more than 2.5 million listeners and generating more than $44,000 in ad value. As with the on local TV and cable systems, we suggest
TV segment, radio PSAs in :60, :30, and :15 formats have been created and distributed to they request that the local media outlet run
radio stations throughout the United States in both English and Spanish. these PSAs,” Joe Weigel commented. “A
letter has been drafted that
“All sectors of funeral funeral professionals can use
service–funeral homes, cem- when contacting the stations
eteries, crematories, memori- or cable systems as well as
alization, and suppliers–con- provide a link where the
tinue to deal firsthand with television spots can be down-
the COVID-19 pandemic,” loaded.” Find them at https://
said Jim Price, senior vice tinyurl.com/final-responders.
president, Industry Relations, At the close of the Final
at Park Lawn Corporation Responders television PSAs,
and ICCFA Educational viewers are directed to www.
Foundation president. “As a profession, stations and cable networks in all 50 states finalresponders.org, where consumers can
ICCFA Educational Foundation wants to and Canada and the spots have been viewed learn more about final responders as well as
recognize and thank the Final Responders– by more than 60 million people. discover several grief resources.
those funeral professionals on the front line, “On behalf of the ICCFA Educational “I’m excited by our results from the TV
or should I say the backline, of this COVID- Foundation, I want to thank Chad Vrie- PSAs to date and look forward to getting
19 pandemic. This Final Responders public zelaar of Go Live Media Group and Joe similar results from our radio campaign,”
service campaign is our way to honor the Weigel of Weigel Strategic Marketing for added Jim. “For too long, funeral profes-
efforts of all those associated with the the countless volunteer hours they have put sionals have been the ‘invisible responders’
funeral profession.” into this project,” Jim commented. “Without during this pandemic. This TV and radio
According to TV research conducted by their hard work and expertise, this project campaign has shed light on the important
Nielsen, since the six Final Responders TV would not be achieving the outstanding work every member of the profession has
PSAs first began airing in March 2021, they results it has thus far.” provided to families since the beginning of
have been broadcast more than 5,000 times To leverage the Final Responders cam- the pandemic.”
and generated over $3.3 million in media paign in their local communities, funeral To learn more, contact Jim Price at
value. The PSAs have aired on local TV directors and cemeterians can place the jprice@plcorp.com.

INDUSTRY UPDATE
NEW VENTURES company. I am unaware of this structure while remembering just how fabulous a
existing elsewhere in our profession.” TJ person you were. Filled with curious facts
Smart, the company’s COO added, “We’ve and funny anecdotes about funeral tradi-
built our careers on relationships, and we tions, famous funerals, and more, It’s Your
intend to build our company that way. True Funeral! incorporates death positivity into
Milestone community minded funeral or cemetery every page by encouraging readers to use
Funeral professionals are key to the communities we the writing prompts and guided worksheets
Partners, do business in. By applying our key principles throughout to help record their wishes for
the of true ownership, individualized leadership posterity. This is the ideal book for people
first-ever, development, and local (decentralized) who are anxious or curious about death and
privately decision making, we know that Milestone want to engage with the topic in a funny,
equity Funeral Partners can be the consolidator of candid way that destigmatizes it. Perfect for
backed, New England based, funeral and choice for owners here in the Northeast.” readers of practical books on death like The
cemetery acquisition company, was launched Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.
in late May. Michael Martel of Auburn, ME and NEW BOOKS
Timothy “TJ” Smart of Oakland, ME, founded Think outside the coffin ON THE MOVE
the company after 25+ years of managing with It’s Your Funeral: Plan
funeral homes, cemeteries, and crematories the Celebration of a
(for a large consolidator) across New England, Lifetime—Before It’s Too
NY, and PA. Michael Martel, Milestone’s CEO Late by Kathy Benjamin, a
stated, “Our company is founded on partner- practical, thoughtful, and
ship. TJ and I are partners in growth, leader- cheeky guide with one Thacker Caskets is excited
ship, and operations. Our equity sponsor is a central idea: planning your own funeral to honor Bob Cullen, who
true partner. And most importantly, every one should be a blast! You might not be able to recently celebrated 30
of our businesses is managed by a local attend your final send-off, but you can years with Thacker Caskets.
managing partner, who owns real equity in the ensure your loved ones have peace of mind Bob is an integral part of
Thacker Caskets and a great
EXCLUSIVE FROM BOGATI role model for current and

future employees. CJ Thacker, president and
CEO, said, “We’re excited to celebrate Bob
reaching his 30-year anniversary. He
embodies the traits that help make us the
leading family-owned funeral supply
company: honesty, dedication, and commit-
ment. Bob has long been considered a
member of the Thacker family and we would
like to personally thank him for his contribu-
tions to our company.” Bob’s relationship with
the Thacker family began when he was a
delivery driver for the old-time casket
manufacturer, Casket Shells, Inc. (CSI). He
began working at CSI in 1981 and transitioned
to sales in 1987. In 1991, Bob began as a sales
consultant, servicing the New York/New
Jersey/ Eastern Pennsylvania area for Thacker
Caskets. At the time, Thacker had recently
relocated to Clinton, MD, from Washington,
Powdercoated D.C. and established the company’s first
satellite distribution center in Pittsburgh, PA.
Adult Alloy Urns Bob says, “The past 30 years have offered me
Smaller Sizes Available
the opportunity to meet and do business with
the most interesting, caring and compassion-
ate professionals. I have seen great changes
(941) 751-3382 within our industry and our company. Every
www.BogatiUrns.com day has been an adventure.”

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MEMBER NEWS
Batesville Donates $200,000

to Honor Funeral Professionals’ Work
During the Pandemic
Funds Will Focus on New Programs in a Post-COVID World
Batesville has committed $200,000 in Chris Trainor, president of Batesville. “We

funding for new programs to benefit have been inspired by their courage and
funeral professionals in the United States tenacity and are grateful to be in a position
and Canada in recognition of the care and to give back to those who have already
compassion they provided in helping the given so much.”
more than 600,000 families who lost loved As a partner to thousands of funeral
ones to COVID-19. These “Honoring Lives” homes throughout North America, Bates-
funds, a tribute to the company’s mission, ville understands the mental and physical
will be distributed to major trade and profes- “Batesville’s roots in funeral service go stress funeral directors have faced in dealing
sional organizations in support of a variety of back more than a century, but I cannot recall with an unprecedented number of deaths,
programs—from research and education to a time when funeral professionals were asked while adapting to ever-changing health and
grief support and self-care. to carry such a heavy burden for so long,” said safety restrictions. The company saw its
volume increase by nearly 30 percent at peak
periods of the pandemic. Its manufacturing
and service teams worked overtime and week-
ends for more than a year to try to keep pace
Delivering sales excellence. with the surge in demand for burial caskets
primarily driven by estimated higher deaths
from the COVID-19 pandemic.
“COVID-19 has made a permanent impres-
Grow sales by providing the best sion on all of us, but as we begin the recovery
process, it is vital that we come together as
tools to help your consultants a community and make investments in the
deliver great customer service. future of funeral service and funeral profes-
sionals,” said Trainor. “A lot of professional
programs and other activities got put on the
back burner last year, and this is one way we
can help reinvigorate our industry.”
The company is working with leaders from
the following organizations to identify the
areas of greatest need and determine how the
Honoring Lives funds will be directed: Crema-
tion Association of North America (CANA),
Start for free at Funeral Service Foundation, ICCFA Education-

al Foundation, National Funeral Directors and
opusxenta.com Morticians Association (NFDMA), Selected

Educational Trust, Funeral Service Association
of Canada (FSAC), Ontario Association of
Cemetery and Funeral Professionals (OACFP),
and the Ontario Funeral Service Association
(OFSA).
More information on the individual projects
will be made available to members.

MEMBER NEWS
New Leadership for

Historic Mount Auburn Cemetery
Former Employee of NY Mayor Bloomberg Brings Energy, Vision,
and Expertise with a View Toward the Future
Mount Auburn Cemetery, Cambridge, MA, etery. With more than 15 years one of the most ambitious and
is delighted to announce the selection of leadership experience, he has a complex urban greening projects
Matthew Stephens to be its 14th president strong track record of increas- ever completed, where 1 million
and CEO. A vocal advocate for the power ing public enjoyment of green trees were planted throughout
of green spaces in urban environments and spaces, creating a high standard New York City. For his efforts, he
an outstanding business leader with strong of horticultural excellence, and earned the 2013 Isaac Lieberman
experience in strategic planning, Matthew will inspiring new generations of Award for outstanding public
begin in his new role in September. financial supporters for nonprofit service among New York City’s
The goal throughout the search was to institutions. In his past roles, he 325,000 municipal employees.
identify a leader committed to advancing fostered new partnerships, effec- A graduate of Illinois State Uni-
Mount Auburn Cemetery’s mission, values, tively prioritized operational needs, created versity, Matthew earned his Master of Science
and aspirations. Mount Auburn was fortunate the groundwork for effective capital cam- in Public Horticulture from the University of
to have an outstanding slate of candidates; paigns and managed critical capital projects. Delaware in the prestigious Longwood Grad-
among them, Matthew stood out for his Matthew most recently served as the uate Program. He will begin in his new role in
ability to be both an effective steward for the director of the San Francisco Conservato- September.
physical space and a strong leader with an ry of Flowers, Japanese Tea Garden, and As Mount Auburn approaches its 200th
understanding of how much Mount Auburn Botanical Garden. During his time in this role, anniversary in 2031, it will explore many
Cemetery can contribute to Greater Boston. he increased membership, attendance and opportunities to consider how to continue its
Matthew has the energy, vision and exper- investment. Previously, Matthew led Million- long history of effectively connecting this spe-
tise to successfully lead Mount Auburn Cem- TreesNYC under Mayor Michael Bloomberg, cial place with nearby residents and visitors.
Downpours, floods and now Covid-19.

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MEMBER NEWS
Repurposing for the Future

An Office Building Transforms into a Funeral Home
Quest Contracting, LLC (QC Texas) com-

menced work on Weed-Corley-Fish at Park-
crest Funeral Home for SCI Shared Resources,
LLC. The project is a remodel of an existing
mercantile & office building into a funeral
home with retail tenant lease space located in
Austin, TX.
The existing building footprint is 27,196
square feet and proposed construction in-
cludes a new porte-cochere, (2) new clere-
story roofs, a small addition of 91 square feet
and modified/new window/door openings.
In addition to the shell work, the majority of
the interior space will be renovated bringing a
modern look.
“We are looking forward to the challenge
and excited to execute the vision the N-Vizion
Design Team has for the new home of the
Weed Corley Fish Funeral Home” states
Bill Nelson, Quest “Central Region” Vice
President.
Exterior work is well under way at the
entrance into the chapel as well as ongoing As a wholly-owned subsidiary of Auto- has completed commercial construction
interior work. This new location is scheduled Builders General Contracting Services, Inc., projects that include ground-ups, renova-
to open in late fall 2021. Quest Contracting, LLC focuses its efforts tions, and interior build-outs. Quest has a
Quest is working closely with N-Vizion in three primary markets; Florida, Texas and staff of over 70 experienced construction
Design, a design studio also based in Austin. California. Over the past 18 years, Quest professionals.

MEMBER NEWS
New Headstones Mark Graves

of Black Soldiers Who Fought
for the Union in the Civil War
Travis Monuments Donates Material & Labor
to Repair Markers in Mount Moor Cemetery
On May 1, 1865, three weeks after General vice on Memorial Day, we were asked by the
Robert E. Lee surrendered at the Appomattox town supervisor of Clarkstown, George Hoeh-
Court House, ending the Civil War, the first mann, to provide our expertise in restoring
Memorial Day was observed. A service was other areas of the cemetery,” added Minozzi.
held in West Nyack, NY, on Memorial Day “We are more than happy to donate our help
at Mount Moor Cemetery and provided a with these other monuments and look forward
direct connection to the origins of the solemn to starting on them soon.”
holiday. One of the 10 veterans, whose head- Based out of Nyack, NY, the Travis Monu-
stones were replaced this month at Mount ments Group has been providing monument
Moor Cemetery and was unveiled on Mon- services and memorial products for more than
day, was Solomon Miller, a witness to Lee’s 100 years. They are members of the New York
surrender. State Monument Builders Association and the
The recent restoration of this historic Monument Builders of North America.
Black burial ground has been undertaken by
The Friends of Mount Moor Cemetery, which
was founded earlier this year to protect the
graveyard. Within the past several weeks,
Charles Minozzi and the crew from Travis
Monuments had been onsite digging founda-
tions, installing bases, and then setting 10 new
monuments provided by the Department of
Veterans Affairs.
“Mount Moor Cemetery hasn’t been cared
for in decades, but is now being restored into
a really beautiful place,” said Anthony Mi-
nozzi, president of Hudson Valley Monuments
Group. “As a member of the local community,
it seemed like the right thing to do for our
company to become involved and donate our
services to the project.”
Mount Moor Cemetery had its beginning
when the land was deeded to William H.
Moore, Stephen Samuels, and Isaac Williams
on July 7, 1849, by James and Jane Benson as
a “burying ground for colored people.” Over
the years, the cemetery has provided burial
space for African Americans, including vet-
erans of the Civil War, the Spanish-American
War, World War I and II, and the Korean War.
The grounds have been maintained since 1940
by the Mount Moor Cemetery Association, Inc.
“While our family was attending the ser-

Do More. BETTER.
More Connections.
GET STARTED AT More Opportunities.
homesteaderslife.com/solutions.
More than Just Preneed.
MEMBER NEWS
long-range profitability planning. He will work who has extensive experience in the sales and
ON THE MOVE closely with the enterprise strategy team as sales management field. Before his current
well as the sales, marketing and financial de- position, he worked as a senior preplanning
partments to develop new products and eval- advisor with a national funeral home company
uate opportunities to support Homesteaders’ where he excelled at presenting seminars and
corporate goals. “I was immediately attracted building successful sales teams. Carl attended
to Homesteaders’ culture, its commitment to Tulane University where he studied Business
the community and its disciplined strategic Administration. Compassion and helping fam-
planning,” Tom affirmed. “The company is well ilies are the motivating factors in his career.
Steve Pick, Homesteaders Executive VP- positioned for continued success with current Carl has a son, Carl III, and a daughter, Dan-
Chief Financial Officer, has announced that and future opportunities, and I am excited ielle. He enjoys grilling outdoors on weekends.
Tom Doruska has joined the organization as to collaborate with Homesteaders’ business
chief actuary. “We’re excited to have Tom partners to further the company’s growth.”
join Homesteaders,” says Pick. “His proven
actuarial experience and leadership will fit in
well with our already strong actuarial team.
In particular, Tom’s impressive background
in product development will be a huge asset NewBridge Group, a leading
to our ongoing efforts to provide innovative funeral home succession
products and solutions to our funeral home Security National Life is pleased to announce planner, is pleased to
customers, enhancing their ability to con- that Carl Duvigneaud has been hired as the announce that Ron Gushulak
nect with consumers and the families they team sales leader in the greater New Orleans has joined the team. Ron has
serve.” In his new role, Tom will lead the team area. He will be responsible for recruiting and three decades of experience
responsible for the company’s profit testing, managing sales teams in the west bank area in business operations of
product development, actuarial services and of New Orleans. Carl is a native New Orleanian funeral homes, cemeteries, crematories and
Be their knight in shining armor.

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One of the most
quoted
companies that provide services to this profession. In addition, Ron
joins NewBridge with solid experience on all sides of business guys in
succession transactions including the seller and buyer sides as well as
the post-sale integration process. At NewBridge, Ron will focus on
assisting funeral home owners in their exploration of a sale. His broad
the biz.
experience in the industry allows him to understand both buyer and
seller goals. Ron recently commented, “The clients we serve at
NewBridge Group are likely to go through the process of selling their
That’s
funeral service business only once in their life or, perhaps, once in
several generations. As succession planning consultants, we must
saying
Dan Isard
dedicate ourselves to always deliver complete professional results,
without surprises.” NewBridge Group President Jeff Boutwell com-
something. Founder
mented, “We’re thrilled to have Ron join our team. His vast experience
will surely be beneficial to the owners we work with as we help them
explore a possible sale of their business.” Ron began his career working
in his hometown funeral home in Ontario, Canada. He later held various
Talk to Dan about buying or selling your business.
roles within the Loewen Group, including funeral home acquisitions,
integrations and regional budgeting and support. Ron also was key in
developing the application of technology to capture life stories and
customize funeral services in ways that result in unique experiences for
loved ones. Since then, Ron has held various senior level leadership
roles where he has applied his strong financial background, along with
expertise in strategic planning, acquisition and integration of single and
theForesightCompanies.com
multi-location businesses.

MEMBER NEWS
Forest Lawn Memorial-Parks Hillenbrand, Ford, 3M, and GE, among others. been wonderful stewards in their community.
& Mortuaries President & Born and raised in Puerto Rico, Néctar We believe this will be a wonderful partner-
CEO Darin Drabing holds a BS in Industrial Engineering from ship.” (2) The Springs Funeral Services in
announced that Néctar L. Purdue University, an MBA from the Kellogg Colorado Springs, CO. The acquisition adds
Ramírez has been promoted School of Management at Northwestern two new locations to Foundation Partners
to senior vice president–Ad- University, and a Master’s in Human Resource Group’s Colorado network, bringing its
vance Planning. “Néctar is a Development (Adult Learning and Organiza- footprint in the state to 10 locations. “We are
remarkable leader and has made a tremen- tional Development) from Xavier University. excited to welcome The Springs Funeral
dous impact on the organization during her Services to the Foundation Partners Group
time at Forest Lawn,” said Darin. “Her MERGERS & ACQUISITIONS family,” said Tom Kominsky. (3) Seitz Funeral
knowledge of training, development, and Foundation Services, which includes Adamson Life
leadership is invaluable. She’ll be a wonderful Partners Group is Celebration Home, Northern Colorado
addition to the executive team.” Since April announcing several Crematory and Best Friends Pet Crematory of
2020, Néctar has served as the vice president– acquisitions: (1) Greeley, CO, and Viegut Funeral Home in
Advance Planning. Prior to Forest Lawn, Néc- Atkins-Northland Loveland, CO. The acquisition increases the
tar contributed to the success of Batesville Funeral Home & Foundation Partners’ network to 12 locations
Casket Company, serving in various positions Cremation Service along the Front Range from Colorado Springs
of increasing responsibility over 18 years, in Cloquet, MN. to Greeley. “We are excited to welcome Seitz
culminating in her role as a leader of Funeral The acquisition adds a sixth location to the Funeral Services into the Foundation Partners
Home and Sales Representative Training. Foundation Partners Group’s network in the Group family,” said Tom Kominsky, “The Seitz
Earlier in her career, Néctar worked as a state. “We are excited to welcome family shares our vision of providing families
consultant with the Corporate Executive Atkins-Northland Funeral Home & Cremation with personalized, meaningful services and
Board, a D.C.-based think tank designed to Service to the Foundation Partners Group their businesses will make wonderful additions
identify and teach best practices in Sales and family,” said Tom Kominsky, Foundation to our growing portfolio in Colorado.”
Human Resources to Fortune 500 companies, Partners Group chief financial officer. “Bob
with clients that included Hewlett Packard, and Karen Atkins share our values and have
“WE DIDN’T GET BOUGHT MARC & JANICE BRUSIE

BY A BIG CORPORATION, BRUSIE FUNERAL HOMES
AND CEMETERIES
WE ARE WORKING WITH
PEOPLE LIKE US.”
We almost sold our business a few years ago,
but the process was a struggle and the deal
fell through at the last minute. In hindsight,
it was the best thing that could have
happened for us. Once we started working
with Foundation Partners, it was an entirely
different experience since their values and
mission closely aligned with our own. They
genuinely cared about what was important
to us – the continuation of our legacy and
ensuring our staff will be well taken care of
and provided opportunities to grow. We didn’t
sell to someone who is only interested in our
business for a profit. We sold to someone like
us – funeral home owners who care about
families and the communities they serve.
Foundation Partners Group Get in Touch

4901 Vineland Road, Suite 300 1-800-399-4635
Orlando, FL 32811 FoundationPartners.com

On all
NEW PRODUCTS matters
monetary,
we’ve
got the
UPD Urns is excited to have released its brand-new cremation jewelry
catalog featuring more than 100 of their most popular cremation
pendants. This new jewelry catalog has been sent to all the private
insight. Doug Gober
funeral service providers in the USA. “With the COVID-19 pandemic, we Partner
have learned the popularity of families choosing cremation jewelry as a
personal connection to their loved one. Offering this collection in your
selection room or on your UPD Urn Store gives you the leading edge of
meeting the needs of families who call on you as a cremation provid-
Talk to Doug about your financing needs today.
er,” says Jason Engler, Director of Customer Experience at UPD Urns.
This collection represents one of the most complete cremation jewelry
collections available in funeral service. All pieces in the catalog are
available in stainless steel, .925 sterling silver, 24k gold plated steel, and
solid gold. Tyler Fraser said, “Cremation jewelry has become popular,
and it has been a focus for us to develop and expand this category.
We have also targeted quality and strive to provide elegant cremation
jewelry pieces that do not look like they hold remains. We feel we have
achieved something special here and we are celebrating!”
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MEMBER NEWS
customers to funeral cases. With powerful, incorporate outstanding video, custom copy-
NEW PARTNERSHIPS time-saving automation features on both writing, and SEO into each site,” said Court-
sides, customers can now view products they ney Gould Miller, chief strategy officer and
have sold on the funeral home side directly head of digital for MKJ Marketing. “We have
through CemSites’ intuitive reporting. With a focused on delivering the marketing results
direct push of data from CemSites to CRäKN, our clients are looking for, and we can now
important communications are efficient and offer all of this, plus the added convenience
easy. for staff of only having to enter in a family’s
information once. Integrating our websites
with Passare creates a seamless connection
for our clients with one of the best platforms
in funeral home software management.”
CemSites is proud to announce its integra-
tion partnership with CRäKN, an innovative Passare is excited to announce a new website
funeral management software company. This integration with MKJ Marketing. With this
integration provides customers with access integration, Passare customers who use MKJ
to direct communication between CemSites as the website provider can send obituary and Osiris Software, the leading provider of funer-
cemetery software and CRäKN’s funeral home service details to their website with a single al home, cemetery and crematory manage-
software, entirely eliminating the disconnect click. Attached are a static image and press ment software partners with the Travel Plan
between funeral homes and cemeteries. Both release with more information. Passare intro- by Inman. “We are thrilled to partner with
CRäKN and CemSites are dedicated to bring- duced its public API in early 2020 and has Dave McComb and the Travel Plan by Inman
ing the death care industry into the modern been able to partner with funeral home web- team to offer an efficient way for our Osiris
age through technological innovation. CRäKN site providers to help funeral homes stream- customers to submit a Travel Plan sale via our
and CemSites’ integrated case management line their data entry. “MKJ Marketing’s website pre-need software, Kara Ludlum, president of
features provide a direct link from cemetery designs are unique to each business and Osiris Software. “The Travel Plan button inte-
<RXU2QH6RXUFHIRU&HPHWHU\)XQHUDO+RPHDQG%XULDO9DXOW
(TXLSPHQW0DQXIDFWXULQJWKH+LJKHVW4XDOLW\3URGXFWV6LQFH
ƒVDOHV#KROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRPRUYLVLWZZZKROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRP

Your exit
strategy
grates with Osiris software and provides for a seamless sales submis-
sion- no double entry of data. Our goal is to allow funeral professionals is only as
good as
more time to serve their families and partnering with Osiris provides
a huge time-savings for our Travel Plan marketers.” “The Travel Plan
button in Osiris pre-need will allow preneed counselors to utilize
single data entry and efficiency for submitting Travel Plan sales,” Dave
McComb, CEO Inman Shipping Worldwide. “One click of the button and
your exit
the sale is received at our office and processed immediately.”
strategist.
HONORS & ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
TribuCast®, headquartered in Wilton, CT, has won Honorable Men-
tion in the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Associa-
Learn from Chris Cruger
CEO
tion’s 2020 Keeping It Personal (KIP) Awards, recognizing the best
in personalization in the cemetery, funeral service and cremation
the best.
profession. TribuCast®, received Honorable Mention in the Most
Innovative Personalized Product category. During the COVID-19
Call Chris about your Succession Planning today.
pandemic, TribuCast® further innovated its product to meet clients’
needs both for the present as well as the future. The TribuCast® Remote
Attendance System™ creates a private online environment that closely
matches the in-person experience of attending a funeral. Thanks
to new technology, the platform has the capacity to enable clergy,
eulogists, and even musicians to contribute to the service from a
variety of locations by using special effects including split-screen,
screen-share, and more. Using TribuCast® helps all loved ones grieve
From Warehouse Through Final Destination

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MEMBER NEWS
more effectively by including those who can’t career experiences including her years helping ANNOUNCEMENTS
be there in person and by creating a highly to build Lohman Funeral Homes, Cemeteries
personalized enduring tribute to the life that and Cremation into a multimillion-dollar
was lost. Through its easy-to-use live stream family business. “Over the years, I have strived
technology and interactive touchpoints, to live a fulfilling life while balancing a variety
TribuCast® helps share family history and fond of roles from business owner, community
memories and puts the life that was lost into enthusiast and board member to loving wife,
greater context for both in-person and remote mentor and friend,” Nancy explains. “There are
attendees. so many facets of life that make us wonder
how we can truly make a difference and how
NEW BOOKS we can help shape the way our legacy will be
Businesswoman, defined. I wanted to write a book that inspired New Memorials Direct, a subsidiary of Bailey
public speaker, the reader, specifically women, and served as & Bailey, is pleased to announce that the
philanthropist and motivation to take bold steps and make parent company has been a trusted provider
community changes to lead well, live well, and give well.” of memorial and cremation jewelry for 15
enthusiast, Nancy A combination of personal anecdotes and years now! Over the years, the company has
Rae Lohman, has advice gathered from Nancy’s decades of expanded quite rapidly from their humble
released a new book experience navigating personal and profes- beginnings above the owner’s garage to an
titled, BLOSSOM: sional success, BLOSSOM is a 258-page book expansive 6,500 square foot office & 3,000
Cultivating More Joy that offers empowering habits, key principles square foot warehouse. In recognition of this
and Success in Life and best practices to help you live and work in growth, they have recently hired additional
and Business, harmony with your core values. staff in both their art department and their
published by customer service department. These new em-
Legacies & Memories. The book offers ployees will allow them to continue to meet
practical advice and stories from Nancy’s their outstanding 24-hour turnaround time
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We’ve got the
on engraved sterling silver and stainless steel items and high-quality
customer service. Additionally, they have begun handcrafting select per- sharpest minds in
sonalized pieces from American made sterling silver in house to ensure
a quality piece from start to finish. To inquire about all of New Memori-
als Direct’s memorial jewelry options, please call 1-253-649-0568 or visit
the business. And
www.NewMemorialsDirect.com.
they’re all yours.
Most funeral home operators and cemeterians
understand how to work IN the business. But the
job of working ON the business, that’s different.
That takes specialized expertise, deep experience,
uncanny wisdom and above all else, insight! Find
out now how our team of nationally-respected,
A-list gurus can give your firm the unfair advan-
tage it needs to thrive. You don’t need consulting.
You need consulting with insight. That’s Foresight!
Nearly 600 people attended the 2021 Iowa Funeral Directors Associa-
tion (IFDA) Convention and The Premier Midwest Funeral Service Expo
May 18 – 20, 2021 in Downtown Des Moines. This year, the Convention
was held at the Iowa Events Center and Hilton Downtown Des Moines
Hotel. The Convention has received overwhelmingly positive reviews
from funeral directors and exhibitors. The 2020 Annual IFDA Conven-
tion was canceled due to the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic. This year, theForesightCompanies.com
attendees, speakers and exhibitors from 23 states gather in Des Moines
and were grateful to be able to be together again for the first time since
the 2019 IFDA Convention. The IFDA Convention was one of the first
in-person Conventions in the funeral profession since the onset of the
pandemic.
eFuneral, the funeral technology company

behind the first-of-its-kind funeral planning
and funding digital storefront, hit a
monumental milestone this month reaching
$10 Million in online funeral arrangements
sold through funeral partner providers
while assisting 7,000+ families with the
option to shop, select and purchase
pre-need and at-need funeral arrangements online. Luke Frieberg,
president of eFuneral Solutions LLC., stated that while these historic
sales numbers can be attributed to the simple, convenient step-by-step
guided experience his team has developed and optimized over the past
two years, it’s the success of the established partners along with the
trust they have put in eFuneral’s innovative tools that drives these
extraordinary results. “This milestone is 100% about our partners and
their success as businesses – we can’t do it without them,” Luke said.
“We’re grateful for each of our nationwide partners and the trust they’ve
put in us as a company and our ability to give them innovative solu-
tions.” Over the past year, eFuneral has completed a major overhaul of
their online arrangement platform, shortened onboarding times for
funeral homes and provided more resources for funeral providers to
generate high-quality leads through their online platform. These
changes have made it easier for funeral homes to go live with their
storefront and reach more families, thus generating more revenue.

NEWS
ICCFA Elects New Officers, Directors

During the 2021 Virtual Convention & Expo
The International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association (ICCFA) elected new leadership
during its 2021 Virtual Convention & Exposition, May 17–21. ICCFA officers for 2021–23 are:
President President-elect Vice President, Education Vice President, Membership &

Gary M. Freytag, CCFE Robbie L. Pape John Bolton, CCE, CCrE, CSE, CXE Marketing
Spring Grove Cemetery & Service Corporation International, Blackstone Cemetery Shawna de la Cruz
Arboretum, Cincinnati, Ohio Houston, Texas Development, Santa Ana, Forest Lawn Memorial-Parks &
California Mortuaries, Glendale, California
Vice President, Internal Affairs Vice President, External Affairs Treasurer Secretary
Mitch Rose, CCFE, CCrE Lee Longino Christopher Keller Stacy Adams
Woodlawn Cemetery, Bronx, New Service Corporation International, Sunset Memorial Park & French NorthStar Memorial Group,
York Palm Harbor, Florida Funerals and Cremations, St. Petersburg, Florida
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Regular members elected to For the first time, Supplier/Pro- Also appointed to the board • Past President’s appointment:
serve three-year terms on the fessional members have been from the International Memorial- I. Frederick Lappin, Knoll-
ICCFA board of directors are: elected to the ICCFA Board of ization Supply Association wood Memorial Park, Canton,
• Matthew Bailey, CT Life Directors. These members will • Ronen Rybowski, Behar Map- Massachusetts
Tributes: Bailey Family serve staggered terms. Supplier/ ping LLC, East Rutherfold, New
Additionally, this year’s election
Funeral Home, Wallingford, Professional members elected to Jersey.
ballot included a proposed pro-
Connecticut the ICCFA board of directors are:
• Sean O’Regan, Woodland • Gino Merendino, Merendino
Members of the 2021–23
executive committee are:
viso asking if the ICCFA Bylaws
should be temporarily amended
Cemetery & Arboretum, Day-
ton, Ohio
Cemetery Care, Linden, New
Jersey (2-year term)
• ICCFA President: Gary M. to allow for an additional one-
• Nectar Ramirez, Forest Lawn • Delana Pratt, Cairn Partners,

Freytag, CCFE, Spring Grove
Cemetery & Arboretum, Cincin-
year term of new officers elected
in the 2021 election. The proviso
Memorial-Parks & Mortuaries, Woodland, Washington (1-year
nati, Ohio; passed, extending the presiden-
•
Glendale, California
Amy Shimp, Dulaney Valley
term)
• ICCFA President-elect: Robbie tial term of Gary Freytag, CCFE,
Past presidents elected to serve L. Pape, Service Corporation and his officers to the 2023 ICCFA
Memorial Gardens, Timonium,
a one-year term on the board: International, Houston, Texas; Annual Convention & Exposition.
•
Maryland
Micah Singerman, Shalom Me-
• Darin Drabing, Forest Lawn • ICCFA Immediate Past Pres-
Memorial-Parks & Mortuaries, ident: Jay Dodds, CFSP, Park
morial Park and Funeral Home,
Glendale, California Lawn Corporation, Houston,
•
Arlington Heights, Illinois
Phil Zehms, Park Lawn Corpo-
• Jeff Kidwiler, CCE, CSE, Black- Texas;
ration, Kansas City, Missouri

stone Cemetery Development, • President’s appointment:
Santa Ana, California Darin Drabing, Forest Lawn
Memorial-Parks & Mortuaries,
Glendale, California; and

Robbie Pape Installed as
President-Elect of ICCFA
Robbie Pape was elected president-elect of to help individuals educate themselves on the
the International Cemetery, Cremation and details of pre-planning.
Funeral Association (ICCFA) during the 2021 When asked about her new position,
ICCFA Virtual Convention & Exposition, May Robbie said, “I am committed to this industry
17–21, 2021. and the mission of ICCFA. Serving as presi-
Robbie is the assistant vice president of dent-elect, I will continue the deep tradition of
service & support for Service Corporation supporting cemetery, funeral and cremation
International (SCI). Over her 30-year career professionals worldwide. I am focused on
with SCI, she has held a variety of positions being open-minded and accepting new ideas
including regional vice president of finance, to propel our industry forward to achieve
director of sales administration, and market extraordinary results.”
support center senior managing director. Rob- Robbie served on Volunteer Houston’s
bie is a certified public accountant and has a Board of Directors, is past president and
degree in marketing and information systems advisor of the Baylor University Women’s
from Baylor University. Association of Houston, and currently serves
Robbie has been active in ICCFA for many America and serves as a board member until as co-president of the Kinder High School for
years, serving as a board member, on the fi- the fall of 2021. Robbie has actively spoken the Performing & Visual Arts Vocal Guild.
nance committee, and as secretary. She is also out for funeral and cemetery pre-planning Robbie is also the proud mother of a
active in the Cremation Association of North and was spokesperson for Dignity Memorial 17-year-old daughter, Samantha.
Navigate
the new normal
Help Families Connect Meaningfully with
Keeper’s Suite of Digital Memorialization Tools
for Cemeteries and Funeral Homes
• Online Memorials
• Virtual Memorial Services
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• Email Marketing
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• Aftercare
• Lead Generation
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NEWS
I CC FA M E M B E R S H I P B E N E F I T S P OT L I G H T
Protect Your Home and Autos with Liberty Mutual

We don’t think you need LiMu Emu & Doug underwritten; not all applicants may qualify.
to tell you just how much you might save Please consult a Liberty Mutual sales repre-
by switching your home and auto insurance sentative for additional information.
to Liberty Mutual. Just in case you’re not To learn more about other ICCFA mem-
sold, ICCFA members can receive exclusive for a free quote. bership benefits and services, visit www.
savings, personalized coverage, multi-car Discounts and savings are available iccfa.com/benefits. To access membership
and multi-policy discounts, 24-hour claims where state laws and regulations allow and benefits and services, visit http://users.
assistance, and more. Liberty Mutual is may vary by state. Certain discounts apply iccfa.com, log in with your username and
trusted countrywide for quality coverage to specific coverages only. To the extent password, and click on Member Discount
and exceptional
February service. Visit Liberty
'21 ICCFA:Layout Mutual
1 12/24/20 permitted
5:13 PM by law, applicants
Page 1 are individually Programs.
Welcome
New ICCFA
Keep
sake Pendants
TM
Members!
The opportunity to choose a
Keepsake Pendant
presents itself only once.
The comfort
a Keepsake Pendant offers,
lasts a lifetime.
Known for quality materials
• Saul Funeral Homes, Inc.
Hamilton Square, NJ
and craftsmanship,
Madelyn Co. Keepsake Pendants • A.S. Cole Son & Company
are hand-made using jewelry-grade metals. Cranbury, NJ
call about monthly specials or visit our website • Simplicity Funeral and Cremation
Services at Glackin Chapel
800-788-0807 Fax 608-752-3683 www.madelynpedants.com e-mail orders@madelynco.com
Hightstown, NJ
• Countryside Funeral Home, Inc.
Anthony, FL
• Bersticker-Scott Funeral Home
Toledo, OH
• Dyers Bay Crematory
Steuben, ME
• Bethel Cemetery Company Inc.
Alexandria, VA
For more information about ICCFA and mem-
bership, visit www.iccfa.com/membership
and download an application form. Or call
1.800.645.7700 to speak to a membership
associate.

Learning from the Past,
Looking Forward to the Future
2021 Fall Management & Leadership Conference
ICCFA is pleased to invite members to the 2021
Fall Management and Leadership Conference at
the Mountain Shadows Resort in Paradise Valley,
AZ, September 14–16. Chaired by Elizabeth
Kmiec, Executive Vice President, Trust Admin-
istration of ClearPoint Federal Bank & Trust and
Bob Gordon, President & CEO of Cypress Lawn
Cemetery Association, this conference has been
designed for forward-thinking funeral profession-
als who embrace change and reinvention as a
means to create a successful business model.
Here is a sneak peek of what you can expect
to learn at the ICCFA Fall Management and Lead-
ership Conference:
We will be kicking off the conference on
Wednesday, September 15, with Jonathan Lewis,
author, a Forbes contributor, and a brand survival
expert at McKee Wallwork + Co. His keynote is
based on Erik Layer’s book, The Right Way of
Death – Restoring the American Funeral Business to its True Calling. cess called “future back” that any leader can learn to actualize a better
Jonathan will outline the challenges and opportunities facing funeral future. Businessmen such as Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon,
professionals today including why your business may be stuck and uses the process “future back,” but how does he do it? Where do his
what you can do about it; customers’ changing expectations; and new visions come from? Well, Mark will provide you with the right tools to
competitors that materialize every day. own your future.
Following Jonathan’s keynote, he will provide an intensive 60-min- On Thursday, September 16, enjoy a plated breakfast while learning
ute workshop featuring real-world scenarios facing the deathcare from government and legal affairs experts who have their eye on both
profession intended to help you generate new ideas and innovations to federal and state regulations that affect the deathcare profession. This
solve your problems. important breakfast session will be followed by another engaging
In the afternoon, our keynote speaker is Mark Johnson, author and leadership keynote session.
co-founder of Innosight, a consultancy that operates “entirely in the Enjoy interacting with your business contacts and friends at one of
future of business.” Mark breaks visionary leadership down into a pro- the several networking opportunities during the conference. Receptions
will be held on Tuesday and Wednesday evening offering food, drink,
and entertainment. For the golfers in the group, the Tuesday tourna-
ment will take place on the Padre Course at Camelback Golf Club in
Scottsdale, just down the road from the Mountain Shadows Resort. The
par-72 golf course measures 6,903 yards and has gained its reputation
from offering a design that requires strategy.
Originally built below Camelback Mountain in 1959, Mountain Shad-
ows Resort Scottsdale was completely rebuilt in 2017 and features
striking architecture and stunning desert surroundings. Guests will
enjoy luxurious rooms, two pools, and easy access to outdoor activities,
such as hiking, golfing, and tennis.
Register before Monday, August 16, and save money with the ICCFA
member early-bird rate of $895. ICCFA has negotiated a hotel rate of
$198 plus taxes & fees per night at the Mountain Shadows Resort. For
more information and to register, visit www.iccfa.com/fall.

CALENDAR OF EVENTS
September 14–16, 2021 September 19–21, 2021 October 24–26, 2021 November 3-4, 2021
ICCFA Fall Management & The Order of the Golden Rule Texas Cemeteries and Mid-Atlantic States Cemetery
Leadership Conference Leadership Summit 2021 Crematories Association & Funeral Conference
Mountain Shadows Resort, Hotel Carmichael in Carmel, IN Annual Convention Golden Nugget Hotel & Casino,
Paradise Valley, AZ Members get a discount on The Worthington Renaissance Atlantic City, NJ
Visit www.iccfa.com/fall. registration. Hotel, Fort Worth, TX Visit www.MASCFC.com.
Visit OGR.org/ Please note the date change.
Leadership-Summit. Visit www.txca.us for more
information.
ADVERTISER INDEX
American Cemetery/Mortuary Consultants Inc. (ACMC)�� 82 Kryprotek �� 21

American Funeral & Cemetery Trust Services (AFCTS)�� 68 Kyber�� 12
Answering Service for Directors (ASD) �� 57 Madelyn Co.�� 82
Aquamation �� 84 Matthews Cemetery Products�� 13
Axiom Business Systems �� 59 Merendino Cemetery Care �� 5
Batesville�� 3 Mortuary Lift Company, Inc. �� 57
Bogati Urn Company �� 62 National Guardian Life Insurance Company (NGL). . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
C&J Financial, LLC�� 39 National Museum of Funeral History �� 66
Celestis Inc.�� 9 Nomis Publications�� 57
Coldspring. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Northeast Mausoleum�� 19
Continental Computer Corp. �� 65
Obermayer �� 16
Crowne Vault�� 31
OpusXenta �� 64
Doric Products Inc.�� 67
Premier Columbaria�� 84
Eagle’s Wings Air�� 72
Regions Bank . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Ensure-A-Seal�� 56
Security National Life Insurance Company. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Flowers for Cemeteries�� 57
SEP TECHNOLOGIES INC�� 47
The Foresight Companies, LLC.�� 73, 75, 77, 79
Shanghai YuanMei Stone Co., Ltd.�� 11
Foundation Partners Group�� 74
Strassacker Bronze America, LLC�� 7
Funeral Call Answering Service �� 43
funeralOne�� C4 SuperNova �� 77
Global Bronze�� 69 Supply Link—Multiview�� 20
Holland Supply Inc.�� 76 THE SYSTEM �� 75
Homesteaders Life Company �� 71 The Tribute Companies�� 16
IncredibleBank�� 78 Trigard�� 73
International Memorialization Supplier Association (IMSA)�� 17 U.S. Metalcraft�� 35
Johnson Consulting Group �� C2 Vantage Products Corp.�� 53
Kanga-Woo�� 43 VKM International�� 27
Keeper�� 81 The Wilbert Group �� 15
KMI Columbaria�� C3 Withum, Smith & Brown, PC�� 79

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MEMENTO MORI

AN ICCFA MAGAZINE AUG | SEP 2021

Hot Topics INSIDE:

We appreciate your sensitivity

MARK & DIANE MUSGROVE

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