Conflict Management

Conflict is an inevitable part of life, and we all need to manage it. However, unresolved conflicts
can destroy people, organizations and situations. Conflict often has positive results.
3 Different views may force people to challenge assumptions and think about an issue from
different perspectives, leading to more innovative ideas.
3 Healthy level of conflict helps teams critically analyze the situation and make the best
possible decision.
3 Managing conflicts allows us to grow, and strengthen relationships with others.
3 Conflict shouldn’t always be avoided or simply resolved, but encouraged and managed to
reach the best possible decisions (WIN-WIN solutions).

Misunderstanding vs. Conflict

3 In a misunderstanding, differing parties simply do not understand each other or the situation,
often due to the lack of clear communication.
3 Conflict occurs when there is clear understanding of diverging ideas.
3 Conflicts occur because people care and feel that their ideas, values, goals, successes and
relationships may be threatened.

Characteristics of Conflict
In a conflict, there must be:
3 At least two parties (people, groups, organizations, townships, etc.).
3 Some interaction or interference, that may be emotional.
3 Some kind of struggle or threat (either real or perceived), such as a potential internal or
external change.

Conflict Cycle
Most conflicts generally follow a cycle through their development and management, according
to Robinson and Clifford (1976).

Tension
Development

Adjustment
Role
Dilemma
Confrontation

Injustice
Collecting

Tension Development
3 Clear or vague feeling that one party is preventing the other from achieving the other’s
objectives, that may appear quickly or over an extended period of time.
3 People take sides or feel resentment.

Role Dilemma
People involved in the conflict wonder:
3 What is happening and why?
3 Who is right?
3 How will this affect us?
3 Since conflict is upon me (us), what should I (we) do now?
3 How should I (we) behave?
3 What behavior is expected of me?
3 What should be done?
Sometimes we engage in testing behavior to learn the appropriate behavior styles. The behaviors
we exhibit will be influenced by the group(s) with which we associate. Our access to information
and values and life experiences play a large role in the decision to take sides. Tension
Development and Role Dilemma often happen at the same time.

Injustice Collecting
In this phase, each party begins to gather support. The actors itemize and publicize all of the
conflict issues and problems with the opposing party to justify their position. Many subtle roles
may be acted out. This is the time when sides will try to get revenge, to score points, and to
“show-up” the opponent through subtle innuendoes.

Injustice collecting may be overt, or covert. If it is covert, the actors remember grudges and plan
future manipulative moves. If it is overt, the actors begin to do subtle things to their advantage,
but harmful or disadvantageous to the other party.

Confrontation
Before conflict reaches the final stage, confrontation occurs. In this phase, the groups meet head
on to determine how the problem will be resolved. Compatible or incompatible values, policies
and goals may support confrontational behavior. In fact, our democratic society is set up to
resolve our public conflicts through a confrontational process called elections.

The confrontation can take many different forms. The type of confrontation that occurs will
determine if the conflict will truly be resolved or simply reappear.
3 If both parties refuse to adjust positions, permanent barriers may result.
3 If one party is weak and the other strong, the strong party can win by "domination".
3 If both parties have equal power and neither party will change, they can wage a "cold war,"
each group carrying out activities that weaken the other.
3 The groups may choose to "compromise", each giving some and taking some. This is a
better situation, however, there may be some animosity on each side.
3 In most situations, the best method for conflict resolution is collaboration, which results
when the parties actively participate in a process that identifies the issue or problem and
identifies solutions that meet the needs of both parties.
Adjustment
The conflict is resolved, one way or another, and all parties adjust to the new phase and changes
in their relationships.
3 The conflict resolution or adjustment reached by domination, or when a resolution is forced
among parties with equal power, will most likely be short term and the same issue may well
reappear in the future.
3 Compromise and collaboration are the most positive methods, and the most likely to lead to
long-term solutions and the capacity for the involved parties to continue their relationships.

Tips for Managing Conflict

Conflict is often most effectively managed when you are:
3 Not necessarily getting rid of the conflict.
3 Keeping conflict under control, so it doesn’t get out of hand.
3 Focusing on issues and ideas, rather than the individuals holding them
3 Attacking the problem, not the other people involved.
3 Seeking solutions.
3 Valuing diverse opinions and be open-minded to other viewpoints.
3 Treating each other with respect.
3 Staying with the issue at hand, and not bringing up past issues or conflicts
3 Trying to come up with the best possible solution, rather than having your side “win”

Approaches to managing conflict

There is a continuum of cooperation and assertiveness, and diverse approaches with varying
levels of cooperation with the other party and assertiveness in meeting one’s own needs. The
approach used in each situation will depend on the personalities of the parties involved, their
history, the issue at hand and many other factors.
High

Competition Collaboration
Assertiveness

Compromise

Avoidance Accommodation
Low

Low Cooperation High

Avoidance
3 Unassertive and uncooperative.
3 Individual does not pursue her or his concerns.
3 Conflict is not addressed and does not go away.
3 May involve diplomatically sidestepping issue, postponing until a better time, or simply
withdrawing
3 Appropriate when:
ƒ Matter is trivial.
ƒ There is no chance of gaining what you want.
ƒ The potential damage of confrontation would be great.
3 Drawbacks to avoidance:
ƒ Your concerns may not be addressed
ƒ Your self-esteem is drained.
ƒ Frustration and anger build.
ƒ You lose credibility and respect
ƒ Matters may become worse if not addressed.

Accommodation
3 Unassertive and cooperative.
3 Individual neglects her or his concerns to satisfy others.
3 May involve selfless generosity or charity, obeying other’s order against wishes, or yielding
to other’s view.
3 Appropriate when:
ƒ You realize you are wrong.
ƒ The issue is much more important to the other party.
ƒ Competition would damage the cause.
ƒ Harmony between the parties is more important than the conflict at hand.
ƒ You have no chance of gaining your will.
3 Drawbacks to accommodation:
ƒ Too much deference can lower your self-esteem, influence, respect or recognition.
ƒ You become frustrated as your needs are unmet.

Compromise
3 Intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperation.
3 Objective is to find an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both
parties.
3 May mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-
ground position.
3 Appropriate when:
ƒ There is time pressure.
ƒ All parties satisfied with part of their requests.
ƒ Potential disruption of more assertive modes would be more damaging.
3 Drawbacks:
ƒ No one is fully satisfied.
ƒ Solution is often short-lived.
ƒ Perception of a sell-out may create cynicism.
ƒ You lose sight of larger issues, principles and objectives.

Competition
3 Assertive and uncooperative.
3 Individual pursues own concerns at other’s expense.
3 Whatever form of power is available is used to win one’s own position.
3 Appropriate when:
ƒ Quick, decisive action needed, such as in emergencies.
3 Drawbacks:
ƒ Others do not “buy in” to solution.
ƒ May lead to reduced communication and cooperation, damaged relationships,
atmosphere of fear, resentment and ill will.

Collaboration
3 Both assertive and cooperative.
3 All parties try to find solution that fully satisfies all.
3 Requires digging into the issue and underlying concerns, to find alternatives that meet all
needs.
3 Might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other to find creative
solutions.
3 Good and long-lasting solutions may be found that address the root causes of the conflict.
3 Appropriate
ƒ When issues and relationships are very important.
ƒ Creative solutions are sought; learning is important.
3 Drawbacks:
ƒ Very time and energy consuming.
ƒ Commitment is needed from all parties.
ƒ Requires atmosphere of openness and trust.