Narrative Essay

“As to how you left me behind”

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved” a quote mentioned by George
Sand. In the night where the moon is beautiful, it lightens up some hearts who are in pain, how
lovely the moon is even it is afar, it made us relax and comfort us in grief that we may feel right
now. An image popped up in my mind the man I love, how your love made me smile, made me
feel that I am the happiest person, the way I feel some butterflies in my stomach, and the way it
pains me when you left me like I was nothing. You are the person who is full of smiles but full of
lies, as I stared at the dark sky, I remember how you say the word "I love you" I want to ask is it
true? Do you love me or are you just bored at that time? Those questions hit me, but you left me
hanging here with no answers. Love is an affection for a person, it is about the person you love
romantically, it made us feel different emotions.

In December when I met this man named Echo, we become friends, we talked in deep
things about the future, our stories in life, our struggles in school on how we survived it, and by
that we enjoy the accompany of each other, he is a student in Tarlac State University and an
English Major Student, we are in the same path wherein we understand each other. The
messaged that keeps us updated then after month by talking to each other we become lovers,
wherein we said "I love you" that made me believe that you are into me, that I am vital to you
and that I am special, that you love me, however in that night where I am staring at my phone
you sent a message and it says “I don’t want it anymore Leil, I have loved you but it is not the
right time for the both of us. Sorry” as I read your message, I have many questions in my mind,
but I just send a response saying “It’s okay Echo, you do not have to say sorry. Always take
care.” As I have sent that message, I feel like trash I feel worthless and that night I choose to
sleep to take a breath.

After that heavy night, I try to enlighten my mood by doing things that may forget the
pain that I have. I read books to divert my attention, to play games, and to sleep however it is not
enough as I am alone, I remember him, those days that we were happy in just talking all day. As
I watch myself in the mirror, suddenly the tears fall in my eyes the person that makes me happy
is the reason why I feel numb right now. I realized how pathetic I am to believe in your words
and in one snap you just left me hanging here. I do not want to criticize what you have done to
me, why you left me because, in those times that I am happy to you, you teach me how to
appreciate myself, to know my worth it and know that you are here, I feel like I am trash that I
am easy to replace. By thinking that I am not enough suddenly my friend sent a photo as I stared
at the photo, I feel worthless I cry about what you have done, the photo is the man that I love and
his ex-girlfriend looking happy, you said that it is not the time for us right? However, you are
ready to love her again Echo. Your smile seems genuine with her and after I saw that I began to
move on to be in the process of healing myself.

Then months passed I do not have any information about him, I try to focus on myself to
divert all my problems and pains in my studies. In the night wherein I am scrolling through my
Facebook then I saw a message and it is from the echo saying “Hi, Ma’am how are you” as I
saw this I do not want to reply however I am curious so I sent a message also “I’m fine Sir, so
how’s life?” then after that message we talk all night and suddenly a question popped up in my
mind because I want to end my curiosity I ask him. “Echo, I just want to ask why you did not
choose me” I am shy to ask this however I want to know the answer the suddenly he said “I’m,
sorry I choose her because I think she is the one that will never leave me” I do not want to lie but
his words hurt me as hell then I respond to him "Next time if you are not sure on what you have
felt to someone then don't give hope in that person, I think echo you need to love yourself first
because you depend on your happiness in one person that may break you too" and by that
message, I end the convo. Loving him is the best thing in my life I came up with the realization
that love made us believe that everything in the world is beautiful however when you feel the
pain you will see the world as a dark tunnel that is hard to breathe and walk. After that convo, I
realize that we may love ourselves first and we need to heal ourselves first to love another
person.

Those days that I feel I am in the darkness keep me doing things that made me stronger
than loving a person made us weak however it made us also braver and stronger. In life some
memories last until the end to give a lesson in our hearts, we love persons to ready us for
different situations. Loving is the reason why we are excited about the things that surround us it
is powerful to love is to become happy however if you love then next to this is pain. On the other
hand, this situation will help us to know ourselves to take the risk in life, to know how to let go,
and to love ourselves first more than in anything.