Managing People

Transactional Analysis

C Jalasayanan
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 What is T.A.?

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS ...

• PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

• MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
• A LEADERSHIP STYLE
• A TRAINING TOOL
• AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS
WHAT, AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY
THEY DO
• AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

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 REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF T.A. IN
MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE
LANGUAGE BUILT-IN HUMOR

APPROPRIATE
NON-THREATENING FOR “NORMAL
SELF-ANALYSIS PEOPLE”

DEMONSTRATED
SUCCESS IN BUS. USEFUL AT WORK &
ORGANIZATIONS AT HOME

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 TEXTS ON TA
• DR ERIC BERNE
– Psychotherapy
– „TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN
PSYCHOTHERAPY‟ EVERGREEN 1961
– „GAMES PEOPLE PLAY‟ PENGUIN 1964
• DR THOMAS HARRIS
– DIRECTOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL T.A.
ASSOCIATION
– „I‟M OK – YOU‟RE OK‟ PAN 1973
• „STAYING OK‟ - PAN
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 VERY BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES
(PERSONALITY STATES)

• PARENT
– RESEMBLE PARENTAL FIGURES
– EXTEROPSYCHIC
• ADULT
– DIRECTED TOWARDS OBJECTIVE APPRAISAL OF
REALITY
– NEOPSYCHIC
• CHILD
– ARCHAIC RELICS, FIXATED IN EARLY CHILDHOOD
– ARCHAEOPSYCHIC

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 Typical Behaviors

PARENT ADULT CHILD

Advising Fact Finding Laughing

Criticizing Questioning Crying

Ordering Analyzing Sulking

Telling Problem Solving Being Frightened

Fault Finding Helping Playing

Cooperating Enjoying
Moralizing
Planning Dancing
Scolding
Coordinating Curiosity
Nurturing
Scheduling
Caring Obeying
Thinking
Loving Dependent
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 BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES
(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

EGO STATES LECTURING, CRITICIZING, MANY
“OUGHTS”, “SHOULD” &”DON’TS”
CRITICAL PARENT
P
(PARENT) NURTURING PARENT CONSOLING, “TAKING CARE” OF
OTHERS, SYMPATHY

A OBJECTIVE, RATIONAL, ORIENTED

(ADULT) ADULT TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING, DE-
EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM

TO ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD EXPECTATIONS, MANUPULATIVE, SUM
C BISSIVE
(CHILD) NATURAL CHILD
PLAYFUL, IMPULSIVE, NATULRALLY
CURIOUS &CREATIVE, FUN
LOVING, REBELLIOUS
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TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON
THE JOB

“CAN’T YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCE?”

CRITICAL “WHAT, IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAIL?”

PARENT “I’M SURPRISED AT YOU… THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS

LOUSY”

NURTURING “I’M ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU”

PARENT “LET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU, MR. SMITH”

“YOU’VE DONE A SWELL JOB”

“WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?”

ADULT “CAN’T WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISE?”
“WHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVE?”

“ANYTHING YOU SAY, SIR!”

ADAPTED “SORRY, I’LL TRY TO IMPROVE.”
CHILD “WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU”

“NOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAY.”

NATURAL “FORGET ABOUT IT, HE’S JUST THE BOSS”
CHILD “LET’S KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY! WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A
FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAY?”
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 EGOGRAM
• The EGOGRAM is a relationship diagram,depicting the
amount of energy a normal person uses extremely. Or
actively as one relates to others

CP NP A NC AC

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 TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P P P P P

A A A A A A

C C C C C C
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

P P P P P P

A A A A A A

C C C C C C
EXPECTED PRODUCE CONFLICT, STOP VERBAL COMMUNICATION
RESPONSE, NO CONFLICT COMMUNICATION, HURT FEELINGS
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
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EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS
ON THE JOB

(1) ACS: “CAN I GET YOU (1) MANAGER: “WHAT (1) FIRST PTL: “GEE, I
ANYTHING FROM COULD WE DO TO WISH I WERE OUT ON
DOWN STAIRS?” MEET THE DEADLINE THE GOLF COURSE
ON THIS PROJECT?” RIGHT NOW.”
(2) MANAGER: “YOU
SURE KNOW HOW TO (2) EMPLOYEE: “WE (2) SECOND PTL: “LET’S
TAKE CARE OF ME, ” COULD TAKE A TAKE OFF. WHO
COUPLE OF PEOPLE WANTS TO LISTEN TO
OFF THE OTHER THE VP ANYWAY?’
PROJECT FOR A
WHILE AND PUT
THEM ON THIS ONE.”

P P P P P P
(1)
(1)

A A A A A A
(2) (2) (1)

C C C C C C
(2)

NURTURING PARENT NATURAL CHILD TO

ADULT TO ADULT
TO ADAPTED CHILD NATURAL CHILD
TRANSACTION 11
 EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS
ON THE JOB

(1) MANAGER: “ DID (1) MANAGER: COME (1) SUPERVISOR: “HOW

YOU FINISH THE OVER HERE!” COME GETTING A
BUDGET (DEMANDING TONE LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL
ESTIMATES?” OF VOICE) IS ALWAYS HARD ”

(2) ANALYST: “HOW (2) EMPLOYEE: “WHY (2) IT SPECIALIST: “HOW

CAN I IF THE DON’T YOU COME SHOULD I KNOW, I
WHOLE PROCESS OVER HERE? IT’S ONLY WORK HERE’
DOESN’T MAKE JUST AS FAR!”
SENSE.”

P P P P P P P P
(1) (1)
(1)
(1)
A A A A A A A A
(2) (2) (2) (2)
C C C C
C C C C

ADULT-TO-ADULT PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP

CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
CRITICAL PARENT-TO- CHILD RESPONSE PARENT RESPONSE
CHILD RESPONSE 12
 EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

(1) EMPLOYEE: “SORRY, I WON’T HAVE THE
PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR
TOMORROW’S DEADLINE.”
(2) MANAGER: “IT’S O.K. I’VE BEEN THINKING
OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE
ANYWAY.”
(1) SALESMAN: “THIS CAR HAS GOT
EVERYTHING YOU’D EVER WANT
FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR
– BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE
FOR YOU.”
(2) CUSTOMER: “WELL LET’S GIVE IT A
TEST DRIVE..” (HIDDEN MEANING:
“WHO DOES HE THINK I AM?”)

P P P P
(1)

(1)
(1)
A A A (2) A
(2) (1)
(2)

C C C C
(2)

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 STROKING
THE TYPES OF STROKES YOU SEEK DEPEND ON YOUR OKAYNESS

POSITIVE NEGATIVE CONDITIONAL

STROKES STROKES STROKES

PRAISE PUT-DOWNS STROKES WITH ULTERIOR

MOTIVES
COMPLEMENTS CRITICISM

RECOGNITION DEGRADING STROKES GIVEN FOR

WHAT YOU DO,
AFFECTION RIDICULE RATHER THAN FOR
WHAT YOU ARE:
REWARDS SCOLDING

SYMPATHY PUNISHMENT (1) PERFORMANCE

ORIENTED STROKES
CONSOLATION DISCOUNTING
(2) ACCOMODATION &
SELF-SATISFACTION CONFORMITY
FROM JOB WELL ORIENTED STROKES
DONE

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BASIC PSYCHOLOGICAL (LIFE) POSITIONS: YOUR
SELF IMAGE

1. I’M OK; YOU’RE OK 3. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE OK

• THE “WINNER”, HEALTH, • CHILD-TO-ADULT EGO STATE

OPTIMISTIC, USUALLY ADULT-
TO-ADULT EGO STATE. IDEAL
LIFE POSITION ON & OFF THE
JOB.
2. I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT OK
• USUALLY CRITICAL PARENT EGO
STATE ACTIVATED. MAY EVOLVE
FROM HURT OR DISCOUNTED
CHILD GIVING HIMSELF STROKES.
FEELS DISTRUST, ANGER,
SUPERIORITY.
ACTIVATED. FEELINGS OF
INFERIORITY; HERO WORSHIP;
LOOKING FOR PARENT
SUBSTITUTES. SEEKS
DOMINANCE FROM OTHERS.
4. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE NOT OK
• LACKS TRUST IN SELF & OTHERS.
FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS
OFTEN EXTREME DEPRESSION.

5. I’M OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU

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 CONFLICT AT WORK: I

POOR ME KICK ME
• EMPLOYEE LOOKING FOR “SORRY, I COULDN’T
NURTURING PARENT TO FINISH THAT DAMN JOB
SOOTH HIS/HER I’M NOT OK OF YOURS… TOO MANY
FEELING LOVES TO PLAY
INTERUPTIONS”
VICTIM. SELF-PITY, MARTYR
COMPLEX FREQUENT (ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “PLEASE
SYMPTOMS KICK ME!”)
“WHY IS
EVERYBODY
ALWAYS PICKING
“I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN…”
ON ME?”
(ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “HERE’S
THE KICK YOU ASKED FOR…
GLAD TO COMPLY!”)

LOOKS FOR PUT-DOWN FROM CRITICAL

PARENT WILLING TO PLAY PERSECUTOR.
SUBCONSCIOUSLY REINFORCES HIS/HER
I’M NOT OK CHILD FEELING. NEGATIVE
STROKE BETTER THAN NONE.
PARTNER’S SCRIPT: I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT
OK.
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 CONFLICT AT WORK: II
WOODEN LEG
IF IT WEREN’T FOR MY
BACK TROUBLE, I COULD
WORK A LOT FASTER.
USES REAL OR IMAGINED
HANDICAP AS CONSTANT
EXCUSE. NEGATIVE SELF-
IMAGE: I’M NOT OK; SELF-PITY.
CONTINUALLY LOOKING FOR
CONSOLATION OR PITY FROM
NURTURING PARENT.
YES, BUT…
“WHY DON’T YOU CALL THE SERVICE
MANAGER FOR AN ESTIMATE?”
“YES, BUT HE IS AWFULLY
BUSY, YOU KNOW.
A FREQUENT GAME BETWEEN STAFF AND
LINE PERSONNEL. THE “HOOKER” MAY
ACTUALLY ASK THE OTHER PERSON FOR
HELP WITH A PROBLEM, THEN
SYSTEMATICALLY FIND FAULT WITH
ONE SUGGESTION AFTER ANOTHER.
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 CONFLICT AT WORK: III

AIN’T IT AWFUL HURRIED MANAGER

“THESE YOUNG GUYS
STRAIGHT OUT OF
“…I’VE GOT TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF
COLLEGE, THE WAY AROUND HERE!”
THEY….”
“YEAH, AIN’T IT
AWFUL? WHEN I
WAS THAT AGE….”

GOSSIP TYPE COMPLEMENTARY COMPULSIVE MANAGER WHO TAKES ON

TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN TWO
CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATES.
MAY FOSTER TEAM SPIRIT, BU TIN
A NONPRODUCTIVE, NON-
OBJECTIVE DIRECTION. POPULAR
WITH COMMITTEES.
MORE AND MORE RESPONSIBILITY,
OFTEN MORE THAN HE CAN HANDLE,
THEN COMPLAINS ABOUT HOW BUSY HE
IS. MAY STILL BE PLAYING OUT THE
ADAPTED CHILD EGO STATE IN
RESPONSE TO CRITICAL PARENT WITH
HIGH EXPECTATIONS. SEEKS PARENT
STROKES.
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 CONFLICT AT WORK: IV
STUPID
“HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO
STUPID, THROWING THAT
PHONE MESSAGE AWAY!”
MAKES DUMB
MISTAKES, OFTEN GETS
NEGATIVE STROKES FROM
CRITICAL PARENT (KICK-
ME), OR INVITING OTHER
PLAYER TO FALL INTO POOR-ME
GAME. A SET-UP TO MOVE INTO
OTHER GAMES. OVER-ADAPTED
CHILD. NEGATING SELF.
NIGYSOB
“NOW, I’VE GOT YOU, YOU S.O.B”
CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF PERSECUTOR SETTING
UP HIS VICTIM. LOVES TO ACTIVATE HIS
CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATE. OFTEN SETS
IMPOSSIBLE TASKS FOR SUBORDINATES, GIVES
INCOMPLETE INSTRUCTIONS, THEN GETS
READY TO GIVE A KICK.
EXAMPLE:
MANAGER: “I HEAR THEY ARE LOOKING FOR
A TECHNICAL WRITER IN HEADQUARTERS”.
SUBORDINATE: “HOW ABOUT YOUR
RECOMMENDING ME FOR THAT POSITION?”
MANAGER: “YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A
TECHNICAL WRITER?”
(NIGYSOB PLAYERS CAN REPEAT THIS GAME
DAY AFTER DAY IF THEY CAN FIND A KICK-
ME PARTNER).
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 CONFLICT AT WORK: V

UPROAR IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU

“IF IT WEREN’T FOR THAT BOSS OF MINE, I

“CAN’T YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A SUPERVISOR BY NOW.”
“LOOK WHO
DO ANYTHING
TRAINED ME
RIGHT?” FOR THIS JOB!”

BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS “IF IT WEREN’T FOR SOMEONE OR

OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK
AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN
DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING
MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE
NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING.
YES, BUT.. MAY BE ONE METHOD
OF COUNTER-ATTACK.
SOMETHING” IS A FAVORITE COP-
OUT, BLAME OTHERS OR SUPPOSEDLY
UNAVOIDABLE CIRCUMSTANCES FOR LACK
OF ACHIEVEMENTS, MANIPULATING CHILD
EGO STATE ACTIVATED.

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 CONFLICT AT WORK: VI
LET’S YOU AND RAPO
“THAT NO-
HIM FIGHT GOOD
SO-&-SO!” “KHALED IS ALEX IN YET?”

“NO, PAUL ALEX NEVER GETS IN THIS EARLY!”

“I WOULD’T WANT YOU
TO TELL ANYBODY
WHO CLUED YOU
USED TO DEVELOP TRANSFORM THE “I”M
IN, BUT DO YOU KNOW
OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU” MODE INTO “I’M
WHAT MR. XXX SAID
OK, HE IS NOT OK”
ABOUT YOUR
WORK…?”

SAYING THINGS “IN

CONFIDENCE” IS OFTEN AN
ULTERIOR TRANSACTION.
PLAYER HAS A HIDDEN
AGENDA, ACTIVATES HIS
MANIPULATIVE CHILD EGO
STATE.

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 CONFLICT AT WORK: VII
That’s His Job
“I’M ALWAYS
“MY JOB, YOUR
DOING HIS
NOT EVEN
JOB” DOING YOURS”
BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS
OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK
AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN
DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING
MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE
NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING.
Amnesia
“OH, I’M SORRY I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT
WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO.”
SOMEONE CONSTANTLY FORGETING A
REQUEST OR DOING SOMETHING OPPOSITE
OF WHAT YOU ASK. COULD DETERIORATE
INTO “I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK” IF YOUR
NOT CAREFUL.
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 CONFLICT AT WORK: VIII

YES SIR …….. DO YOU KNOW WHO

“I THINK WE SHOULD YOUR TALKING TO?
APPROACH THE “I NEVER SAID YOU COULD JUST WALK
PROBLEM THIS WAY INTO MY OFFICE WITHOUT SCHEDULING
….”
AN APPOINTMENT”
“YES, WHAT A
GREAT IDEA. BUT,
ISN’T THAT JUST
WHAT I JUST
SAID?”

COMPLEMENTARY
TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN MANAGER WHO ALL OF A SUDDEN
PARENT AND CHILD EGO STATES. WANTS TO BE FORMAL. MAY BE
POPULAR GAME IN COMMITTEES. PLAYING CRITICAL PARENT

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 Transactional Analysis
• The 80/20 rule: 80 percent of your success is in
managing people and 20 percent relates to doing
your job well.
• If this is true, what is the level of “okayness” with
your subordinates, peers, supervisors and most
important clients?
• It is important to take the following self test to
determine where you stand.

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 Transactional Analysis

• Answer the following questions:

• Of the people working with you the most, picking a round
number of 10, how would you categorize your level of
“okayness” with them?
• In my current job this is how I see things:

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• How I see them
• Boss: I am OK he is OK
• Peers: I am OK they are
OK
• Subordinates: 6 of them, I
am OK they are not OK
• Note. Not I am not OK
your not OK
Transactional Analysis
• How they see me
• Boss: I am not OK, he is
OK
• Peers: He is OK were OK
• Subordinates: 4 of them, I
am not OK they are OK
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 Transactional Analysis

• Back to the 80/20 rule: This rule also says that

your job environment is functional when 80
percent of your relationships at work are based on
the I am OK your OK principle
• If the opposite is the case than your job is
dysfunctional
• Most of us are somewhere in between.
• You can still have a lot of “not OK” situations at
work and still be effective – it just won‟t be fun.

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 Transactional Analysis

• Keep in mind that the 80/20 rule can still be in

your favor but you could still have major
problems.
• Why? Because having an I am not OK your not
OK relationship with your driver is irrelevant –
having this relationship with your boss is relevant
• Keep this in mind for your home situation as well

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 Transactional Analysis

• To understand why some of your relationships work and

others don‟t you need to assess your own behavior and that
of others.
• Which mode are you in the most, parent, adult, child?
• Which mode are your subordinates and peers in?
• Which mode is your boss in?

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 Transactional Analysis: Understanding others through
Simple Classification

• How I see them: • How they see themselves:

• Boss: Critical parent • Boss: Nurturing parent
• Peers: Adults
• Peers: Nurturing
• Subordinates: Mostly
parents
consider themselves adults
• Subordinates: Most except some admit to
natural children, some being natural children
adapted children, few
adults

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 Transactional Analysis

• Your people management skills are your key to

success
• For example, I try to keep my adult mode active
for as long as possible during the day
• I seldom achieve this and but I know when I have
ventured away from adult mode
• In most instances you succeed because of you, or
you fail because of you
• In most instances you reap what you sow.

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 Transactional Analysis:

• Understanding your relationships with others relates to

gold stamps and gray stamps
• Whether we like it or not we accrue gold stamps for
situations we handle well and gray stamps for situations
we handle badly
• This is what defines our “okayness” with other people
• For some one gray stamp is enough to put you in the
category of “I am OK your not OK”
• For others a ton of gold stamps may not do much at all

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 Transactional Analysis: Role Playing
• Boss: I have a few
comments on your
performance -- I think you
say “yes” to often to me, I
think you try to be non
confrontational with
others in the work place.
You know what, I don‟t
think these are good
qualities of a senior
manager.
• Translation: You are
not OK – how would
you respond?
• Is the boss being a
critical parent?
• How do you avoid
conflict? What mode
should you adapt?
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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Boss: you have been • My my …… what is this?

doing a wonderful job • Is this a critical parent or
for me. Really great. someone who really sees
This is why I have potential in you.
decided to transfer you • What should you look
to another department. for, what are the signs?
With more experience
you can become even
more valuable to all of
us

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Boss: The report you • Interesting – critical

gave me had some strong parent again? What
points but it needs should be your mode
polishing. Let‟s give it to of response?
Ms. X to finish it for you.
• Do you fight this or do
Good job.
you go along wit the
boss
• A serious gray stamp
is waiting to happen
here.
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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Peer: You really have • Is your peer being a

to watch out, Mr. X nurturing parent?
really has it in for you. • How do you avoid
conflict? What role
You should hear what
should you adapt and what
I hear about what he should you do?
says about you. Just
don‟t tell him you
heard it from me.

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Peer: Honestly, I don‟t • Is your peer being a

think you were being very critical parent?
professional when you • Is he OK and are you OK?
promised the client a • What mode should you be
deliverable for next week. in and how should you
You should have handle this?
consulted me first. I will
speak to the boss about
this because you are
always doing it.

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Peer: I really want this • What is your peer looking

promotion and I am for, clearly a nurturing
looking to you for help. parent response.
You know him so put in a • How do you avoid conflict
good word, I deserve this, if you really don‟t want to
right? be involved.
• How do you maintain an I
am OK your OK position?
How do you avoid a gray
stamp

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Subordinate: She • A I am OK she is not OK

really irritates me. It presentation of fact.
is not her work • How do you handle this?
necessarily, it‟s just • How do you avoid conflict
the way she does with both of them?
things. She is all over • How can you correct for
the place, always this?
late, not taking
anything seriously
especially me.

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Secretary: here is the • Is this an I am OK your

bill for mailing the not OK situation?
material you wanted. • How would you respond
to this?
I assumed this was
personal so I made • Should you respond to this
or just take note
sure the mail room
charged you. You
didn‟t want me to
break a rule did you?

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Employee: I am really • Boss: You can come to

having problems with Ms.
X. I don‟t mean to come
to you with one personnel
problem after the other.
me all the time I guess …
Ulterior message: Here
we go again, is he a bad
middle manager or what?
Boss is becoming critical
parent but you may not
know it. Gray stamp
collecting.

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Employee: I thank • Boss: Welcome back …

you for bringing me Ulterior message: Here
we go again, the if it
back to headquarters.
weren‟t for you game?
I just want you to What no one wants to
know that I lost much work outside Cairo. Boss
when you transferred is becoming critical parent
me but I will do my but you may not know it.
best Gray stamp collecting.

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Employee: This job • Boss: An interesting

really is not my life observation… Ulterior
you know. I put my message: Here we go
family first too. I again, the lazy SOB.
spend to much time in Boss is becoming
the office as it is and critical parent but you
so do you. Do we may not know it.
really owe this place Gray stamp collecting.
that much?

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 Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Employee: I like your • Boss: An interesting

cost cutting ideas, but observation… Ulterior
it is not our money message: Doesn‟t
now is it. The ideas really much care for
on saving money will the company does he?
cause too much Boss is becoming
disruption and it‟s not critical parent but you
as if were saving our may not know it.
own money. Gray stamp collecting.

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 HOW TO STOP THE GAME PLAY

• REALIZE THAT IT TAKES TWO TO PLAY A GAME

• DO NOT GIVE EXPECTED RESPONSE
• RESIST TEMPTATION TO PLAY RESCUER, VICTIM, PERSECTOR
• TURN ON YOUR ADULT EGO STATE IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS
• BUT RELIAZE THAT SOMETIMES IT‟S OK TO PLAY “NURTURING
PARENT” UNTIL OTHER PERSON IS READY TO STAND ON HIS OWN
FEET
• SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE ACT; DO NOT CRITICIZE HIS
PERSONALITY
• DON‟T EVER TELL HIM/HER THAT HE/SHE IS PLAYING A GAME
• IF YOU ARE ATTACKED, REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO NEED TO
DEFEND YOURSELF IF YOU ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF HIS/HER
PROBLEM BUT MERELY AN OPPORTUNITY TO FIND RELIEF FROM
PRESSURE
• PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING (BUT LISTEN ALSO TO THE WHEELS
THAT DON‟T SQUEAK)

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 BASIC GUIDES WHICH CAN HELP YOU IN WORKING WITH
PEOPLE

• Cooperation cannot be forced

• You communicate more through action than words
• Sentiment and emotion count.
• Everyone likes to feel important
• Everyone wants to know the significance of his job
• Don‟t forget to show appreciation for a job well done.
• Learn to listen to people
• Be sincerely interested in your employees and their
welfare.

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 REVIEW OF BUZZ WORDS
(BUT THEY CAN ALSO BE TOOLS FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING)

GAMES: COLLECTING STAMPS:

PARENT •NIGYSOB •GOLD STAMPS
ADULT EGO STATES •AIN’T IT AWFUL •GRAY STAMPS
CHILD •KICK ME
•RAPO
•UPROAR
•STUPID PAYOFF:
•(WHAT OTHERS: •CONSCIOUS
CRITICAL PARENT CAN YOU NAME?) •UNCONSCIOUS
NURTURING PARENT
NATURAL CHILD
ADAPTED CHILD ROLES:
STROKES: •VICTIM
•POSITIVE •RESCUER
•NEGATIVE •PERSECUTOR
•CONDITIONAL
TRANSACTIONS:
•COMPLEMENTARY
•CROSSED PARENT TAPE
•ULTERIOR CHILD TAPE
BASIC LIFE POSITION

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 PITFALLS OF T.A.
IN MANAGEMENT

• THE “SOPHOMORE SYNDROME” (BUGGING COLLEAGUES

BY POINTING OUT WHEN THEIR PARENT OR CHILD IS
HOOKED, FOR EXAMPLE)

• ENCHANTMENT WITH THE LANGUAGE OF T.A., RATHER

THAN VIEWING IT AS A TOOL FOR GROWTH &
UNDERSTANDING

• USING T.A. MORE ON OTHERS THAN ON SELF

• DESIRE FOR CHANGING ONESELF MUST COME FROM THE

INDIVIDUAL HIMSELF, NOT THE ORGANIZATION

• T.A. TRAINING MUST HAVE SPECIFIC OBJECTIVES

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 Contact me

jalasayanan@gmail.com

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