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    High-Maintenance Rels

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    Jamaica David
    This document discusses different types of challenging relationships and provides strategies for coping with them. It identifies four types: the Critic, who constantly complains; the Martyr, who sees themselves as a perpetual victim; the Sponge, who is needy but gives nothing back; and the Gossip, who spreads rumors. For each type, it describes their characteristics and provides tips for understanding them and setting boundaries without damaging the relationship. The overall message is the importance of building healthy relationships through effective communication and recognizing when others may have relationship issues of their own.

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    High-Maintenance Rels

    Uploaded by

    Jamaica David
    87 views24 pages
    This document discusses different types of challenging relationships and provides strategies for coping with them. It identifies four types: the Critic, who constantly complains; the Martyr, who sees themselves as a perpetual victim; the Sponge, who is needy but gives nothing back; and the Gossip, who spreads rumors. For each type, it describes their characteristics and provides tips for understanding them and setting boundaries without damaging the relationship. The overall message is the importance of building healthy relationships through effective communication and recognizing when others may have relationship issues of their own.

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    high-maintenance rels

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    This document discusses different types of challenging relationships and provides strategies for coping with them. It identifies four types: the Critic, who constantly complains; the Martyr, who sees themselves as a perpetual victim; the Sponge, who is needy but gives nothing back; and the Gossip, who spreads rumors. For each type, it describes their characteristics and provides tips for understanding them and setting boundaries without damaging the relationship. The overall message is the importance of building healthy relationships through effective communication and recognizing when others may have relationship issues of their own.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
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    87 views24 pages

    High-Maintenance Rels

    Uploaded by

    Jamaica David
    This document discusses different types of challenging relationships and provides strategies for coping with them. It identifies four types: the Critic, who constantly complains; the Martyr, who sees themselves as a perpetual victim; the Sponge, who is needy but gives nothing back; and the Gossip, who spreads rumors. For each type, it describes their characteristics and provides tips for understanding them and setting boundaries without damaging the relationship. The overall message is the importance of building healthy relationships through effective communication and recognizing when others may have relationship issues of their own.

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    © All Rights Reserved
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    of 24

    relationships

    MARIA SHEILA GARCIA- MEDINA, RGC, RPM, LPT


    4 significant relationships

    1. God/ Creator
    2. Self

    3. Other people

    4. Life situations
    MY RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS
    We need to learn new skills for building
    better relationships most especially in the
    workplace.
    CATEGORIES

    The CRITIC constantly complains and give unwanted


    advice
    The MARTYR is forever the victim and is wrecked with
    self- pity
    The SPONGE is constantly in need but gives nothing
    back
    The GOSSIP spreads rumors and leaks secrets
    The GREEN – EYED MONSTER seethes with envy
    1. THE CRITIC
    The one who constantly complains and gives
    unwanted advice.
    Who are the Critics?
    - self-appointed people who size you up and say
    that you are too conservative, too liberal, too
    serious or too easygoing
    - they second- guess your decisions and take pride in
    pointing out your mistakes
    - the tone of their voice conveys their disappointment
    in your misguided aspirations and without raising a
    finger, they can shoot down any one of your good
    ideas.
    ANATOMY OF A CRITIC

    Perfectionist
    Driven

    Arrogant

    Pedantic
    Do you know a Critic?
    1. If there is a flaw, this person will definitely find it.
    2. Being around this person is often like being in a
    trial.
    3. This person has no problem telling people what,
    when and how to do just about anything.
    4. You can count on this person to complain or point
    out a flaw about something nearly every day.
    5. Even when you think things are going smoothly, this
    person will find a problem.
    UNDERSTANDING CRITICS
     Critics often believe their
    criticism is helpful.
     Critics are often motivated by a
    simple desire to solve problems.
     Critics often feel it is their
    duty to find something wrong.
     Many critics were raised to be
    critical.
    COPING WITH CRITICS

    1.Put yourself in the Critic’s shoes.


    2.Don’t close your ears. (Mommy Deafness)

    3.Limit the criticism you’ll accept.

    4.Institute a ‘Complaint Session”.

    5.Beware of the Critic’s Triangle

    6.Keep your goals/ dreams alive

    7.Know your toughest Critic… and accept His grace.


    Remember:
    Not all Critics are the same.
    THE MARTYR

    Forever the victim and wrecked with self- pity


    Who are the martyrs?
     People who refuses help but feels all the more
    persecuted when friends/ loved ones don’t stop by.
     They wallow in self- pity.
     Solutions to their problems, no matter how powerful,
    can’t seem to get through to their complaining.
    ANATOMY OF A MARTYR

     Defeated
     Passive

     Self- blaming

     Helpless

     Worrisome
    Do you know a Martyr?
     Whatever advice is offered, this person has a
    reason why it won’t work.
     This person can often be heard saying.. “ If only…”
     This person is doing nearly nothing to find solutions
    for his/ her own problems.
     This person’s general attitude is “Poor me.”
    UNDERSTANDING MARTYRS

     Martyrs feel diminished by


    whatever they accept from
    others.
     Martyrs feel losing

    control.
     Fear of rejection is

    another thing Martyrs


    battle.- “I am unworthy”
    COPING WITH MARTYRS

     Don’t expect much change.


     Get martyrs laughing.

     Stay clear of advice.

     Find the problem, if you can.

     Avoid the Guilt Trap

     Keep your tank full.


    THE SPONGE
    Constantly in need but gives nothing
    back
    ANATOMY OF A SPONGE

     Clingy
     Stifling

     Guilt - inducing

     Egocentric

     Smothering
    UNDERSTANDING A SPONGE
     Sponges suffer from terribly
    low self- esteem
     They don’t possess enough self-
    worth to stand on their own two
    feet, so they try to stand in
    yours.
    COPING WITH A SPONGE

    1.Examine your desire to help.


    2.Deflate the crisis.

    3.Accept the bottomless pit of needs

    4.Say No, and don’t feel guilty.

    5.Build good boundaries.

    6.Confront when necessary.

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