History of Them 1x01 - 11-11

HISTORY OF THEM
Pilot
"11:11"
Written by
Gloria Calderon Kellett
Network Draft
1/12/18
HISTORY OF THEM - "PILOT" 1.
NETWORK DRAFT - 1/12/18
COLD OPEN
EXT. PORTLAND FOOD TRUCK COMMON AREA “THE PARK” - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)
(Luna, Adam, Isaac, Vikram, Skylar, Manolo, Tati)
WE START WITH A BOOMERANG OF OUR CAST. ADAM, ISAAC, VIKRAM,

SKYLAR, LUNA, TATI, AND MANOLO ASSEMBLED IN FRONT OF A CAKE AT A
FESTIVE HIGH-END OUTDOOR FOOD TRUCK AREA KNOWN AS “THE PARK.”
DAUGHTER (NARRATOR) (V.O.)
I’m going to tell you a little story.
THE BOOMERANG FREEZES. A CIRCLE IS MADE AROUND LUNA.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
That is my mother, Luna. It was taken on
her twenty-eighth birthday, September 17,
2018. What a cool future mama, amiright?
My dad’s in there, too. But I’ll get to
him later.
SCROLLING THROUGH LUNA’S INSTAGRAM: ON A MECHANICAL BULL, MAKING A

SAND CASTLE, WITH THE PUPPY DOG SNAPCHAT FILTER, ETC.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
Even as a dog she was a total babe.
(THEN) I have to admit, when I was
younger I just thought my parents were
people who provided me with food,
shelter, and an increased genetic risk of
diabetes. But as I got older I started to
realize that they were real human beings.
Who had dreams. Who made mistakes. Who
fell in love. My parents’ story really
started on this day. But it was not
without its twists and turns.
DISSOLVE TO:
ACT ONE
SCENE A
INT. REYES HOME - MORNING (DAY 1)

(Luna, Manolo, Tati)
POST: A PLATE OF MICKEY MOUSE PANCAKES WITH A FROSTING BIRTHDAY

HAT, PLACED NEXT TO A HUGE BOUQUET OF BALLOONS. CAPTION: I’M 28!
(FOLLOWED BY EMOJIS). THE PHOTO COMES TO LIFE AND WE SEE LUNA (28,
LATINX, SASSY, SMART, STYLISH, AND STRONG), IN A BIRTHDAY HAT,
BLOWING OUT THE CANDLES AS HER PARENTS: MANOLO (LATINX, MANLY BUT
WARM, 50’S) AND TATI (LATINX, COOLEST MOM YOU’VE EVER MET, 50’S)
LOOK ON.
MANOLO
I can’t believe our baby is twenty-eight.
LUNA
But thanks to my Cuba-rican genes, I don’t
look a day over eighteen. Gracias, padres!
TATI
De nada, mijita! I’m fifty-two and they
still card me!
MANOLO
She got carded at the Costco when we went
to buy booze for your party. She was so
happy, she bought the check out girl a
hot dog.
LUNA
(DEEP BREATH) So, listen, I’m cooked. Soy
una mujer. Thirty is like (POINTING) right
there. I see you thirty. Sup, girl. And I
feel like I’ve lost my way a bit. So, I made
a to-do list this morning.
(MORE)
LUNA (CONT'D)
And I’m determined to make my twenty-eighth
trip around the sun a good one. Starting
with something kinda big.
TATI
Not bangs again. Every few years you
think it’ll be a good idea. It never is.
LUNA
Nope. (BIG BREATH) Look, we live together
and work together. And I love it, but,
even though this may devastate you, I’m
thinking of moving out.
A LONG BEAT, THEN MANOLO AND TATI BOTH CHEER.
LUNA (CONT’D)
What? Wait, you’re happy about this?
TATI
Ay, baby, we will miss you like crazy.
MANOLO
Of course. I will now live in perpetual fear
but if anything happens to you I will avenge
you. I will be like Batman. Batmanolo!
TATI
Honestly, I was starting to worry ‘cause
I was watching my Gayle on the morning
show--
LUNA
You mean Oprah’s Gayle?

TATI
She is also my Gayle! And she was talking
about overprotective parents who want to
solve all of their children’s problems--
MANOLO
And we thought, oh, she’s talking about Latinos.
TATI
But she was talking about it like it was
a bad thing. She said those kids grow up
stunted.
MANOLO
Forgive us! Lunita, you have to understand,
we came from countries where we couldn’t
trust the government. So, the only people
you could trust is familia. Which is what
we instilled in you and your brothers. Who
are now both married with families of their
own. But you... (CONCERNED) are still here.
LUNA GRABS THE MAPLE SYRUP. IT’S NEW, SO SHE HAS TO PULL OFF THE
PLASTIC TOP. SHE HAS A BIT OF TROUBLE.
LUNA
Guys, let’s not exaggerate. We agree I
need to get out of my comfort zone, but I
am not one of those losers who can’t do
things for herself.
TATI DELIVERS MORE FRESH PANCAKES TO LUNA’S PLATE AND MANOLO GRABS
THE SYRUP, EASILY OPENS IT AND POURS THE SYRUP ON LUNA’S PANCAKES.
LUNA (CONT’D)
You missed a spot on Mickey's ear.

MANOLO APOLOGETICALLY ADDS MORE SYRUP.
LUNA (CONT’D)
Tia Elsita’s kids, they are stunted. Paco
and Caesar. I mean, I’m a marketing
badass who helps run our successful food
truck and they don’t even know how to do
laundry. I know how to do laundry. It
just makes more sense to toss mine in
with yours, ‘cause it saves water!
(REALIZING) Oh my God, am I stunted?
TATI
Mamita, no! We just think it’s great that
you are getting so independent. Now lay
out what you want to wear tonight so I
can iron it for you.
LUNA
You know what, I’ll iron it myself.
TATI MANOLO
Asi! Eso!
WITH A NEW RESOLVE, LUNA EXITS. A BEAT.
MANOLO (CONT’D)
When she’s done ironing it you’re going
to re-iron it, aren’t you?
TATI
Papi, I love how well you know me.
MANOLO KISSES TATI ON THE CHEEK, AS WE...
CUT TO:
SCENE B
INT. THE BOYS’ FANCY PENTHOUSE APARTMENT - MORNING - (DAY 1)

(Adam, Isaac, Vikram)
POST: ISAAC (AFRICAN-AMERICAN, LATE 20’S, IMPOSSIBLY HANDSOME

MILLIONAIRE WITH CONFIDENCE TO MATCH) HE SNAPS A SELFIE.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
Remember when I said I’d get to my dad?
Well at that moment, he was living a few
blocks away with his two best friends.
CAPTION: WELCOME BACK TO PORTLAND, ADAM! IN THE BG IS ADAM (ALL-

AMERICAN. LATE 20’S) FACE PLANTED IN A COUCH. HE GETS UP.
ADAM
(CRUSHED) Ugh. It feels so weird to wake
up single. How could this happen? I mean
I did everything a boyfriend should: I
“listened”, she was the background on my
phone, I pretended to like her friends...
I even made reservations.
ISAAC
For real? Like at restaurants?
ADAM
Yes! At the kind of places where they
give you a separate menu just for wine.
That's how much I loved her! You know I
never even once asked her to send nudes?
(CHOKING UP) And I wanted them so bad. I
thought I was going to marry her.

ISAAC
Really? ‘Cause I gotta be honest, I was
not a fan of Heather.
ADAM
You introduced us!
ISAAC
Well, yeah, I was into her friend and
needed a wingman to get her out of the
way for a couple of hours.
ADAM
Six years...
ISAAC
Dang. That was four iPhones ago.
ADAM
I had to move back home to Portland cause
it was too hard to walk by places where
we shared memories. (OFF ISAAC’S LOOK) I
dare you to walk by the Tacoma Outback
Steakhouse and not feel some feelings. We
shared our first Chocolate Thunder from
Down Under there.
ISAAC
I’m going to assume you mean a threesome
with a hot black Australian chick, ‘cause
the alternative is just too sad.
VIKRAM ENTERS (LATE 20’S, ADORABLE, BUTTONED UP, INDIAN VIA UK).
VIKRAM
Good morning, gents.

ADAM
Vikram! Listen, I really appreciate you
being cool about me moving in.
VIKRAM
When I heard what you were going through
(TURNING ON A DIME) I could not have
cared less. I barely know you. This place
is Isaac’s. What was I gonna say? No?
(THEN) Could I have said no?
ISAAC
No.
VIKRAM
Off to work, saving lives. Literally.
While you lot sit and play video games.
(To ISAAC) See you at Luna’s party later?
ISAAC
(TO ADAM) It’s her birthday. She’s cool.
We’re going.
ADAM
Finally I get to meet the famous Luna.
ISAAC
Maybe tonight Vikram will finally profess
his love to her.
VIKRAM
I don’t know what he’s on about. Luna and
I grew up together. Literally, she was my
next door neighbor when we moved from the
UK.
(MORE)
VIKRAM (CONT'D)
I was thirteen and rather awkward then.
Did I have a crush waaay back then?
Maybe. Did I entertain the notion of her
one day being my lady? Mayhaps. But our
friendship is much deeper than that now.
We’re so beyond that whole will they,
won’t they thing. I’ve evolved.
ISAAC
He hasn’t evolved. We gotta help poor
Vikram.
VIKRAM
“Poor Vikram” is a doctor with an
excellent head of hair and a panty-
dropping accent. I will stop referring to
myself in the third person. And my
deepest apologies for having said the
word panty.
ADAM
(TO VIKRAM) You like Luna, huh? I could
probably help. (FALSE MODESTY) Beautiful
women do find me disarming. In college my
friends called me “Daddy.” Sure it
started because I wore my cell phone in a
belt clip. But then it took on layers of
meaning.
ISAAC
Yes, the OG Daddy Mac is back!

ADAM
(RALLYING) You know what? Yes. I will do
this for you. It’ll be my first solid
gesture as roommate. Bust out the pipe
and slippers, 'cause tonight I’m your
daddy.
VIKRAM
Please don’t be my daddy.
ADAM
You’ll thank me later.
OFF OF VIKRAM SHAKING HIS HEAD AND ADAM LOOKING PLEASED TO HAVE A
PROJECT.
CUT TO:
SCENE C
INT. GYM - LATER - (DAY 1)

(Luna, Skylar)
SKYLAR, (ONE PART SOUL CYCLE DEVOTEE AND ONE PART UPTIGHT YOUNG
LAWYER, LATE 20’S) AND LUNA ARE ON BIKES, SIDE BY SIDE, MID-CONVO.
SKYLAR POSTS A PICTURE OF THE MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE BEHIND THEM.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
And that’s Skylar. She took me to buy my
first bra. When I was six. A thirty-two
double D. She told me to dream big.
LUNA
I told my parents I was thinking about
moving out. And they were fine. Happy
even.
SKYLAR
Wow, really? I’m shocked.
LUNA
Right! And it made me feel... sad. I
think I wanted them to talk me out of it.
SKYLAR
Hon, I get it. I’d live with them. They
cook for you, they have all the channels,
and your dad stocks top shelf booze.
(THEN) Can I live with them?
LUNA
Luckily, I backtracked. Told them rents
were nuts and it would probably take a
while to find a place. And then
(MORE)
LUNA (CONT'D)
I posted a photo of my breakfast on Instagram
and you know, people come out of the woodwork
on your birthday. And this girl I went to high
school with, Chloe Darlington--
SKYLAR
Already hate her.
LUNA
Thank you. Yeah, she was my frenemy... We
were always up for the same parts in the
school play, liked the same boys... you
get it. Well, she hearted my photo then
she wrote this whole thing to me about
how she hopes I have an awesome birthday.
So, of course, I immediately do a deep
dive in her Instagram and she lives in
New York and is currently in... Hamilton.
Hamilton! And she lives in a brownstone
and is engaged to some Wall Street douche
named Brock. And it sent me further into
my birthday freak out.
SKYLAR
Do you need to do a shot? ‘Cause I have a
flask in my bag.
LUNA
It’s 10 AM. And we’re at the gym.
SKYLAR
(SO WHAT) So, no?

LUNA
Skylar, when I graduated I had a plan: go
into marketing as my day job and at
night... sing. I didn’t expect to be
Beyonce but I thought I’d be able to make
a little extra cash performing around
town. Scratch my creative itch.
SKYLAR
How did I not know this? I mean, I know
you crush a karaoke mic. But I didn’t
know you wanted to pursue it more
seriously.
LUNA
That was back before we met. I guess I’ve
kept a lid on it. My graduation coincided
with my parents’ restaurant going under.
They needed me. And when family calls,
you drop everything.
SKYLAR
Yeah, when my family calls I let it go to
voicemail. (THEN) Luna, you’re a great
daughter. Turning their restaurant into a
food truck was genius. You did that.
That’s pretty freaking amazing. You guys
are on every top ten list in the city.
Your parents are okay. You can focus on
you now.
LUNA
I know. But that’s kind of... scary.
Singing is so personal. It’s so exposing.
And, come on, isn’t it too late? I’m just
nowhere near where I thought I’d be.
SKYLAR
None of us are where we thought we’d be.
LUNA
You’re a senior associate at a law firm.
SKYLAR
With an ass that just won’t quit. And
yet, I’m still alone. You made a list.
You’re gonna make that list happen. I so
hate getting cheesy but as BFF it is my
duty to help you live your best life.
LUNA
Yes! I’m gonna cross things off that list.
See. This is one of the many reasons I
love you. It’s mostly the ass though.
SKYLAR
I knew it!
THE GIRLS CONTINUE TO PEDAL AS WE...
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE D
OMITTED
INT./EXT. HISPANIC ATTACK FOOD TRUCK & FOOD COURTYARD - NIGHT

- (NIGHT 1)
(Luna, Adam, Isaac, Vikram, Skylar, Manolo, Tati, Beautiful
Woman)
SOCIAL MEDIA PICTURE OF LUNA HOLDING A PITCHER OF SANGRIA THAT IS

THE SIZE OF HER HEAD. THE PHOTO COMES ALIVE. WE PULL BACK TO SHOW
SKYLAR, VIKRAM, AND ISAAC ALL SITTING AND ENJOYING SAID SANGRIA.
THE COURTYARD IS FULL OF COOL YOUNG PEOPLE OUT FOR THE NIGHT. THIS
IS THE FIRST TIME WE SEE VIKRAM WITH LUNA. YUP, HE’S GOT IT BAD.
THE GANG CHEERS!
LUNA
Want a refill, Papi?
PULL OUT TO REVEAL LUNA’S PARENTS SITTING WITH HER FRIENDS. MANOLO
HOLDS UP HIS GLASS AND LUNA REFILLS IT.
*AUTHOR NOTE: MANOLO AND TATI ARE INTEGRATED IN THE GROUP AND ACT
AS DEN PARENTS. THE GANG IS COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE AROUND THEM.
THEY WILL WEAVE IN AND OUT OF THE SCENE.
SKYLAR
(TO ISAAC) Where’s my brother?
ISAAC
Oh, Adam had to take care of some ex-
business. He’ll be a second.
ISAAC NOTICES A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WALK IN.
ISAAC (CONT’D)
Pardon me everyone, my future baby mama
just walked in.
THE GROUP ROLL THEIR EYES. ISAAC IS AT IT, AS USUAL.
VIKRAM
Let’s unpack what you just said: You want
to put a baby in that young woman? And
then you want to help raise that baby?

ISAAC
Aw, hell no. I’m not being literal.
“Girlfriend” or “one night stand” is too
restrictive a term. “Baby mama” could
mean anything. It’s a compliment, ‘cause
I think she’s hot enough to have my baby.
VIKRAM
If she sees past your huge ego and
crippling self-doubt.
ISAAC
Why you gotta make it sad? (THEN)
See, this is why you’re single.
TATI
Vikram, any girl would be lucky to have
you.
VIKRAM
Thank you, Mrs. Reyes.
TATI
You, too, Isaac.
ISAAC
Thank you, Mrs. Reyes.
MANOLO
You kids make it all too complicated. In
my day, you liked a woman, you walked up
to her and said I like the look of you,
I’d like to buy you a drink. If she
accepts, that’s it.
(MORE)
MANOLO (CONT'D)
Then if anyone looks at your woman funny,
you beat them up. Then you dance. Life
was so simple then.
TATI
That’s my man.
ISAAC
Dude, that is so gangster.
ADAM ENTERS WITH A NEARLY EMPTY WATER BOTTLE.
ADAM
Sorry. I was not just lightly stalking my
ex-girlfriend’s Instagram feed. Okay, I
was. She seems to be having a great time.
So, I think I should too. Hi, I’m Adam.
ISAAC
Nice intro. This is Mr. And Mrs. Reyes.
ADAM
Oh, great. Hola. Mucho gusto.
MANOLO
Hablas Espanol?
ADAM
Si. La señora que me cuidó era de
Colombia, así que lo aprendí un poquito.
MANOLO
(BEAT, THEN TO THE GROUP) I like him.
ISAAC
And this is Luna.
LUNA TURNS AND SHE AND ADAM SEE EACH OTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME.
LUNA
Hi.
ADAM
Hi. (A BEAT) I’ve seen you all over Sky’s
Instagram. I can’t believe we’ve never
met.
LUNA
I know. Nice to real life meet you.
THE TWO DON’T KNOW IF THEY SHOULD SHAKE HANDS OR HUG. IT’S A HALF-
HUG/HALF-HANDSHAKE THING.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
Not many people have documentation of the
first time their parents laid eyes on one
another. But I do. It sits in a frame on
top of my piano. What I don’t have framed
are the two times they broke up before
they ended up getting married. But that’s
another story.
ADAM FINISHES DRINKING FROM HIS WATER BOTTLE AND HE THROWS IT IN A

NEARBY BIN. LUNA LOOKS ON, HORRIFIED.
LUNA
Uh, you’re not gonna recycle that?
ADAM
Oh, right, I’m back in Portland. You’re
not one of those hippy dippy girls that
freaks out at people for the slightest
recycling indiscretion?
LUNA
(ANNOYED) Actually, I am proudly one of
those girls.
ADAM
If you read up on it, recycling is
actually a giant placebo that makes us
feel all good about ourselves but really
just wastes money and resources.
LUNA
I’m sorry, you’re anti-recycling?
ADAM
Listen, no need to overreact--
LUNA
Overreact?
SKYLAR TAKES A SELFIE. FREEZE. IN THE BG WE SEE THE RECYCLING

FIGHT UNDERWAY. MANOLO AND TATI BREAK THE MOMENT WITH A CAKE. THEY
ALL SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
GANG
(Singing) Happy birthday...
SKY ASKS A PASSERBY TO TAKE THEIR PHOTO OF THE GROUP. THE

PHOTO/BOOMERANG FROM THE FIRST SCENE. LUNA BLOWS OUT THE CANDLES.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
So, it wasn’t exactly love at first
sight. If only it could have been that
simple. But no, life, being the ass that
it is, had other plans.
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
SCENE H
INT./EXT. HISPANIC ATTACK FOOD TRUCK & FOOD COURTYARD - LATER

- (NIGHT 1)
(Luna, Adam, Isaac, Vikram, Skylar, Manolo, Tati, Red Shirt
Girl, Super Hot Guy)
VIKRAM, SKYLAR, ADAM AND LUNA SIT AS ISAAC RETURNS TO THE TABLE.
ISAAC
Oof. Tough crowd tonight. Sky, can we do
our thing real quick?
SKYLAR
Sure. Who’s the target?
ISAAC
Red shirt. Three o’clock.
SKYLAR
Got it. (THEN, IMMEDIATELY FURIOUS AT
ISAAC) How dare you!
ISAAC
(ALSO ACTING) Baby, I’m sorry.
SKYLAR
I don’t care if you are the best sex I’ve
ever had! Your charity work with children
can’t be more important than me!
ISAAC
The kids have to come first.
SKYLAR
We are over!
MANOLO
What the hell is going on?

ADAM
That’s a classic Isaac move right there.
She pretends to dump him and then a
nearby woman will comfort him.
ISAAC
(TO SKYLAR) Thanks, boo.
SKYLAR
Anytime.
SKYLAR SITS BACK DOWN AS ISAAC WALKS OFF, FAUX-SADLY, TO THE

ARTISANAL WINE FOOD TRUCK. RED SHIRT GIRL APPROACHES HIM.
TATI
Skylar, I thought you were a feminist.
Isn’t this a little anti-feminist?
SKYLAR
No. It’s sink or swim out here, Mrs.
Reyes. He takes a hot chick home and
that’s one less hot chick trying to get
with my future husband.
TATI
I respect that.
ADAM
(TO SKYLAR) I’ve never seen you so
calculating about dating.
SKYLAR LOOKS AROUND.
SKYLAR
Oh, it’s cut throat, little brother. It’s
never been so hard to be single. Welcome.

LUNA
Preach!
SKYLAR REFERS TO A SUPER HOT GUY WHO COULD BE A HIPSTER.
SKYLAR
Hipster or homeless? I can never tell.
That guy going through the trash? He
could own his own business. He could be a
cool artist that takes garbage and
repurposes it, he could own a gallery and
have a lot of -- excuse me. I’m gonna
introduce myself.
SKYLAR CROSSES OFF. ISAAC CROSSES BACK TO THE GROUP.
ADAM
She’s never been shy. I’ll give her that.
LUNA
I don’t know how she does it.
VIKRAM
Oh, I concur. “Hello person I’ve just
met, maybe we’re supposed to be together
forever.” Yeah, no, I don’t think so.
ADAM
I already hate being single. Am I gonna
have to come up with schemes in order to
get women? Hard pass.
ISAAC
Forgive Adam, he’s never had to do any of
this.
(MORE)
ISAAC (CONT'D)
He dated someone all through high school
and then someone else all through
college. He’s had two very long-term
girlfriends and therefore two separate
but similar photo collages they made him
for Valentine’s day. (OFF ADAM’S LOOK) I
may have gone through some of your boxes.
LUNA
I’ve never liked anyone enough to make a
cheesy photo collage for them.
VIKRAM
Sadly, I did once make a collage of
Britney Spears when I was twelve.
LUNA
I remember that collage. You even made
one of us in high school for my fifteenth
birthday.
ISAAC
Oh, did you now?
LUNA
It was so sweet.
ADAM
(SINCERE) Wow. Vikram is a great doctor,
but who knew he was also an incredible
artist? What a catch.
ADAM LOOKS OVER AT VIKRAM AND GIVES HIM A HEAD NOD. VIKRAM SHAKES
HIS HEAD NO. ADAM NODS HIS HEAD “YES.” SKYLAR RETURNS.
SKYLAR
Well, turns out he was homeless. Wish I
had known before making out with him.
ISAAC
You got some, nice.
SKYLAR AND ISAAC FIST BUMP. ADAM SHAKES HIS HEAD, DISTURBED.
SKYLAR
Hey, did Luna tell you guys that she’s
gonna start singing again?
VIKRAM
Excellent. That is excellent.
ISAAC
Adam, Luna’s voice is so good that when I
first heard her sing karaoke I thought
she was black. And that is the best
compliment I could ever give anyone.
ADAM
Very cool.
LUNA
Aw, thanks guys. Yeah, I’m making plans to
make plans. ‘Cause that is what people in
their late-twenties do. And it has nothing
to do with petty high school rivalries.
VIKRAM
You Insta-stalked Chloe Darlington,
didn't you?
LUNA
Yes! How did you know that?

ISAAC
Who is Chloe Darlington? And if she’s
single why haven't you introduced me?
VIKRAM
I saw her post on your feed and did a
deep dive.
LUNA
Me, too!
VIKRAM PULLS OUT HIS PHONE AND PULLS UP CHLOE OVER THE FOLLOWING.
VIKRAM
(TO GROUP) Chloe Darlington, as her name
suggests, was a supreme bitch that we
went to high school with. She was always
very jealous of Luna because Luna was
better at everything.
LUNA
I mean... yeah, I kinda was.
VIKRAM FINDS CHLOE’S PROFILE AND SHOWS THE TABLE.
ADAM
Wow, she is hot.
EVERYONE LOOKS AT HIM. LUNA IS PARTICULARLY ANNOYED.
ADAM (CONT’D)
What?
SKYLAR
Really?
ADAM
Is she not hot? I’m just a human man.

SKYLAR
Read the room.
VIKRAM
(TO LUNA, SAVING IT) She’s miserable.
Clearly. How insanely curated are her
photos?
LUNA
You think? Really? But she’s in Hamilton!
VIKRAM
An understudy for the touring company. I
checked. And that brownstone isn’t hers.
Her fiance Brock’s parents own it. And
the last two photos of her she’s not
wearing the ring... so... I’m thinking
trouble in insta-paradise.
LUNA
You always know just what to say.
VIKRAM SMILES. HE KNOWS HIS GIRL.
ADAM
Vikram, you really do. Wow, if I had
someone who went through all that trouble
to protect my feelings, I'd snatch them
up right on the spot.
VIKRAM LOOKS OVER AT ADAM, WITH A “WHY” LOOK. ADAM WINKS.
ISAAC
Luna, girl, it is totally normal to take
birthdays as a time to reassess. For me
it was twenty-seven.
(MORE)
ISAAC (CONT'D)
I had just sold my app and I had millions
of dollars and no idea how to spend it
all.
SKYLAR
If this doesn’t go somewhere helpful
quickly then you will see the fruits of
my kickboxing class.
ISAAC
Let a brother finish. So, because I was
full on freaking, I bought my sweet ass
apartment that was waaay too big for me--
SKYLAR
(WARNING) Isaac.
ISAAC
And went on Craigslist and found the best
roomie a guy could ask for.
VIKRAM
(TO ISAAC) When you are kind to me it
makes me wildly uncomfortable. Please
make a joke at my expense immediately.
ISAAC
What you want in a roommate is someone
who is twice as tidy and half as
handsome.
VIKRAM
Thank you for that. Carry on.

ISAAC
And because I met Vikram, I met you,
Luna. And you met Skylar. (TO GROUP) And
we became us. So, had I not had that
freak out we wouldn’t be here.
LUNA
Awww. That did make me feel better.
ISAAC
You see! (TO GROUP) You’re all welcome by
the way. (TO LUNA) You’re gonna be okay.
THE GANG ROLL THEIR EYES BUT ARE GRATEFUL. LUNA SMILES. SHE FEELS
BETTER. THEN SHE NOTICES HER PARENTS DANCING TOGETHER IN AN OPEN
SPACE BETWEEN TABLES. NO ONE ELSE IS DANCING BUT THEY DON’T CARE.
LUNA
Next on my list? That. I want that.
WE PAN BACK TO OUR GROUP WHO ALL LOOK AT MANOLO AND TATI,
LONGINGLY. MAYBE IT’S POSSIBLE. MAYBE.
ADAM
(LIFTING HER GLASS) To that. And to all
of us finding that some day.
THE GANG ALL CLINK GLASSES AND DRINK. THEN EXHALE.
VIKRAM
(TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD, TO LUNA, BUT
NOT) Who else wants to dance?
SKYLAR
Ooo, yes, please.
ISAAC
I’ll bust some moves, yeah.

LUNA
Eh, I’m hungry.
ADAM
I could use a sandwich.
LUNA
Oh yeah? Come on, I’ll make you one.
LUNA GESTURES FOR ADAM TO FOLLOW HER.
ADAM
(TO VIKRAM) Time for Daddy to get to
work.
VIKRAM SHAKES HIS HEAD AS ADAM FOLLOWS LUNA. VIKRAM, SKYLAR AND
ISAAC ALL JOIN MANOLO AND TATI ON THE NOT DANCE FLOOR THAT IS NOW
A DANCE FLOOR.
CUT TO:
SCENE J
INT. FOOD TRUCK - LATER - (NIGHT 1)

(Luna, Adam)
LUNA AND ADAM ARE IN THE FOOD TRUCK. SHE HAS THE INGREDIENTS FOR A
CUBANO SANDWICH.
LUNA
You are about to enjoy the best Cubano
you have ever had.
ADAM
I’ve never had a Cubano so...
LUNA
Then I’m about to take your Cubano-
ginity.
ADAM
Please be gentle.
LUNA
So, you split bread in half then layer
the sandwich with mustard, cheese,
pickles, ham, pork, then cheese again.
ADAM
Every man in my family has dropped dead
of a heart attack. You trying to kill me?
SHE HEATS A LARGE CAST IRON SKILLET AND LIGHTLY COATS IT WITH
OLIVE OIL. SHE PLACES THE SANDWICHES ON THE SKILLET AND TOPS WITH
ANOTHER HEAVY SKILLET AND A BRICK.
LUNA
Be a hell of a way to go. And last. A
brick. Heavy. Plus, could be used as a
defensive weapon if anyone tries to steal
your sandwich.
ADAM
Good tip.
LUNA
(BEAT) So, Skylar’s pretty happy to have
you back in town.
ADAM
Wish it was under different
circumstances.
LUNA
Yeah, sorry.
ADAM
Thanks. I really thought, Heather, that’s
my ex, was it. So, if that isn’t what
it’s supposed to be then I don’t know
what is. And that’s a real bummer. So I’m
gonna stop talking now.
LUNA
No, I get it. See, I know what it’s
supposed to be. So that’s why I still
make a wish every night at 11:11 just in
case.
ADAM
Ah, 11:11, make a wish. Smart. Play it safe.
But, it’s good to be back home. And living in
Isaac’s insane bach pad. And getting to know
Vikram.
LUNA TAKES THE BRICK OFF THE SKILLET AND SPATULAS THE SANDWICH
ONTO A PLATE. SHE CUTS IT IN HALF AND SLIDES IT OVER TO ADAM. THEY
BOTH TAKE A BITE AT THE SAME TIME.
ADAM (CONT’D)
(TAKING A BITE) You got any ketchup?
LUNA
Uh, why?
ADAM
It would be better with ketchup.
LUNA
That’s the number one Cubano in Portland.
ADAM
Could be the number one Cubano in the
world... with some ketchup. Oh, there’s
some right there.
HE REACHES FOR KETCHUP ON THE SHELF.
LUNA
That’s for fries. But if you wanna ruin
the sandwich...
ADAM
I do. Thanks.
ADAM POURS KETCHUP ON THE SANDWICH AS LUNA WATCHES HORRIFIED. HE

TAKES A BITE.
ADAM (CONT’D)
Better.
ADAM CHANGES THE SUBJECT. TIME TO WINGMAN IT UP.
ADAM (CONT’D)
So, Vikram seems like a good guy.
LUNA
Yeah, Vikram’s the best.

ADAM
Anything ever happen between you two?
LUNA
Uh, not that it’s any of your business.
But no. We’re like siblings.
ADAM
It’s adorable when beautiful girls say
that. ‘Cause I promise you he does not
think of you as a sister. But, I get it,
you just aren’t attracted to him.
LUNA
He’s very attractive. And he has a sexy
accent.
ADAM
But... what?
LUNA
Nothing. He’s a total catch.
ADAM
You don’t have to convince me.
LUNA
(ANNOYED) I’m not trying to convince you.
I don’t even know you.
ADAM
Sorry. Just trying to assess the
situation since I’m gonna be living here
now.
LUNA
Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I mean,
it’s not like I’ve never thought about
it. But... what if we try and it doesn’t
work and then we stop being friends?
ADAM
What if you do try and it’s amazing? And
you end up living happily ever after with
your best friend? I mean, how great would
that be?
LUNA
(DAWNING ON HER) Pretty great.
ADAM
So, what the hell are you waiting for? Or
are you all talk, Luna Reyes?
LUNA
Hell no, Adam McEvoy!
OFF OF LUNA, READY TO SHAKE THINGS UP.
CUT TO:
SCENE K
INT. HISPANIC ATTACK FOOD TRUCK & FOOD COURTYARD - LATER -

(NIGHT 1)
ISAAC, SKYLAR AND VIKRAM SIT AT A TABLE. LUNA AND ADAM APPROACH.
LUNA
Vikram, can I talk to you for a sec?
ADAM MOUTHS “YOU’RE WELCOME” TO VIKRAM. VIKRAM WALKS OVER TO LUNA.

ADAM GIVES HIM A THUMBS UP. VIKRAM IS HORRIFIED.
LUNA (CONT’D)
Will you go out with me?
VIKRAM
Sorry, what?
LUNA
On a date. Will you go on a date with me?
‘Cause why haven’t we done that? You’re
the best. You’re a total babe. We have
the best time together. And I’m asking
you out.
LUNA IS ELATED. SHE DID IT! ADAM LOOKS PLEASED THAT HE “HELPED”
AND THE GROUP IS EAVESDROPPING IN A NOT SO SUBTLE WAY.
VIKRAM
(SHOCKED IT WORKED) What is happening?
LUNA
I was just talking to Adam and telling
him what a great guy you are and... why
haven’t we ever tried to be more? They
say the best relationships start as
friendships.
SKYLAR
(INSERTING HERSELF) I just want to be on
record saying that this is a great idea.
I’m just pissed I didn’t think of it.
LUNA
I know!
TATI
(INSERTING HERSELF) Vikram, you know how
much Manolo and I love you.
MANOLO
And your family loves Lunita.
LUNA
So, dinner. Tomorrow?
VIKRAM
Yeah. I mean, I think we had planned to
grab dinner tomorrow anyway...
LUNA
Yeah, but that was friend Luna and friend
Vikram. This is date Luna and date
Vikram. So, I’m gonna shave my legs and
not just to the knee. Sorry, that is
something friend Luna would have said to
friend Vikram. Date Vikram should just
think my legs are naturally smooth. So,
you in?
VIKRAM
Okay. Yes. I’m in.
VIKRAM LOOKS OVER AT ADAM, AMAZED.

ADAM
(SOTTO TO VIKRAM) Who’s your daddy?
VIKRAM
You are, indeed, my daddy.
OFF OF ADAM, FEELING PRETTY PLEASED WITH HIMSELF. AND LUNA FEELING
PRETTY PLEASED WITH HERSELF.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
I can say unequivocally that this was the
first in a series of bad moves on my
dad’s part. Was he a good friend? Yes.
Was he also a complete bonehead? Oh hells
yes.
END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE
SCENE L
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT - (NIGHT 2)

(Luna, Vikram, Waiter)
VIKRAM AND LUNA ARE BOTH DRESSED UP AND SIT EATING IN SILENCE.
LUNA
You look really great.
VIKRAM
So do you, obviously.
A BEAT.
LUNA
I’m kinda nervous.
VIKRAM
So am I.
LUNA
(SOFTENING) You are?
VIKRAM
Yes. You look really beautiful. I told
you that, right?
LUNA
You did. Thank you.
VIKRAM
Great. Now I feel like I’ve said it too
much and it’s getting creepy.
LUNA
You are negative 1000% creepy. It’s nice.
That you think I’m pretty.

VIKRAM
Look, if we’re doing this then let’s do
this. I’ve had feelings for you for a long
time. Obviously. And I never thought this
would happen. I’ve been content to be your
friend but I’m glad we’re here. Like this.
LUNA
Me too. (THEN) We should kiss.
VIKRAM
Wha-huh?
LUNA
We know we like each other. This part,
this right here, we crush this. What we
don’t know is if we have chemistry. So?
(ADORABLY) Little makey-outy?
VIKRAM
Oh my god yes.
A BEAT. LUNA LOOKS AT HIM, WILLINGLY.
VIKRAM (CONT’D)
Not here. Not in the middle of a
restaurant. Not with that spinach
artichoke appetizer lodged in my back
molar. I’d like to floss first.
LUNA
Of course. (THINKING) Well, we can’t go
back to my place, ‘cause my parents.

VIKRAM
Who have known me since I was twelve. So,
yeah, total boner killer. Not that I’d
get a boner. I will get a boner. I’m
going to stop saying boner.
LUNA
We’ll go to your place. I’ll order an
Uber.
LUNA GRABS HER PHONE. JUST THEN A WAITER APPEARS AND PUTS TWO
PLATES IN FRONT OF LUNA AND VIKRAM.
VIKRAM
We’re going to take these to go. Now.
Quickly. Not that we’re in a rush but...
I’ve been waiting for this moment for
fifteen years so tick-tock.
CUT TO:
SCENE M
INT. ISAAC’S APARTMENT - LATER - (NIGHT 2)

(Luna, Adam, Isaac, Vikram, Skylar)
VIKRAM AND LUNA ENTER THE APARTMENT WHERE ISAAC, ADAM AND SKYLAR
ARE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. SKYLAR IS CRUSHING THEM.
ISAAC
(WITHOUT LOOKING) Hello, young lovers.
VIKRAM
What the hell are you doing here? Didn’t
you get my text?
ISAAC
I did. And I immediately texted these two
and here we are to welcome you.
SKYLAR
(TO LUNA) Sorry. I kept texting you for
updates but you clearly put your phone on
do not disturb. Which I respect and
resent.
LUNA
Hey jerks, go away and stop putting weird
pressure on us.
ADAM
We should leave them alone now.
LUNA
Thank you, Adam.
SKYLAR
(TO ISAAC) Well, I was promised $400
booze and I’m not leaving without some
pooling in my liver.
ISAAC
(TO SKYLAR) Kitchen.
VIKRAM
We’ll be in my room.
ISAAC
Okay. You kids do that. Don’t mind us.
ADAM
Who’s hungry? Cause I now know how to
make the perfect Cubano. Secret
ingredient is the ketchup.
UPON HEARING THIS LUNA ROLLS HER EYES. ADAM NOTICES HER ANNOYANCE,
IT AMUSES HIM. LUNA TAKES VIKRAM’S HAND AND PULLS HIM INTO HIS
BEDROOM AS ADAM HEADS TO THE KITCHEN WITH SKYLAR AND ISAAC.
CUT TO:
SCENE P
INT. VIKRAM’S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER - (NIGHT 2)

(Luna, Vikram)
IT’S SPOTLESS. THE TWO ARE CLEARLY NERVOUS.
LUNA
I’d be impressed by how clean your room
was but I know it’s always this clean.
(BEAT) Come here.
VIKRAM DOES. LUNA MOVES IN CLOSER.
LUNA (CONT’D)
Okay. So, I guess we should maybe kiss
now? You have really great lips. How am I
just noticing this? And minty-fresh
breath.
THEY MOVE IN CLOSER.
VIKRAM
I brushed and flossed in the Uber.
LUNA
I wondered why you took the front seat. I
thought it was just you being friendly.
VIKRAM
Alas, I didn’t realize telling Santos
that I was a doctor would lead to him
inquiring about that troublesome mole.
LUNA
It was nice of you to check it for him.

VIKRAM
Not exactly the aphrodisiac I had in
mind. But sitting in the front did allow
me to attend to my oral hygiene
unnoticed, so for that I’m grateful. So,
we’re really doing this.
LUNA
Uh-huh.
AND CLOSER. THE NERVOUSNESS ESCALATES.
VIKRAM
Great. Great.
VIKRAM KISSES LUNA. THEN PULLS AWAY.
VIKRAM (CONT’D)
Hmm.
LUNA
Hmm.
VIKRAM
Yeah, I don’t -- That’s not how I thought
that would go.
LUNA
We should do it again.
VIKRAM
Absolutely. Let’s hold nothing back.
LUNA
Yeahyeahyeah.
VIKRAM
Great. Good. Doing it now.
HE GOES IN FOR A KISS. THEY TRY TO REALLY GO FOR IT.

VIKRAM (CONT’D)
Hmm.
LUNA
Hmmm.
BOTH ARE CLEARLY THROWN THAT THE KISS WASN’T MAGICAL.
LUNA (CONT’D)
You know what it is? We’re nervous.
VIKRAM
Of course.
LUNA
‘Cause I’m a great kisser.
VIKRAM
As am I.
LUNA
We should put a pin in it.
VIKRAM
A pin. Yes. Excellent.
LUNA
It’s just too much pressure at this
moment. Right?
VIKRAM
Right. Yes. Or... we just jump to the
sex.
LUNA PLAYFULLY SWATS VIKRAM WITH A PILLOW.
VIKRAM (CONT’D)
(OF COURSE) Well, I had to try.
HE LAUGHS. HE PICKS UP A PILLOW AND PLAYFULLY HITS HER BACK.
SMASH CUT TO:

SCENE R
INT. ISAAC’S LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME - (NIGHT 2)

(Adam, Isaac, Skylar)
SKYLAR, ADAM, AND ISAAC SIT IN THE KITCHEN. SKYLAR ENJOYS THE
WHISKEY.
SKYLAR
Definitely weird to be sitting out here
while things may be going down in there.
THEY HEAR A LAUGH FROM INSIDE VIKRAM’S ROOM.
ISAAC
I pray that is a good laugh.
ADAM
Maybe we should put on a movie or
something.
A LOUD THUD.
LUNA (O.S.)
It hurts!
ISAAC
Daaang, Vikram, I may have underestimated
you.
CUT TO:
SCENE T
INT. ISAAC’S KITCHEN - LATER - (NIGHT 2)

(Luna, Adam, Isaac, Vikram, Skylar)
VIKRAM WRAPS LUNA’S FOOT. THE GANG SURROUNDS THEM.
ISAAC
So, y’all were just having a pillow
fight? I am so disappointed!
SKYLAR
Next time don’t have a pillow fight in
three inch heels.
LUNA
Lesson learned.
VIKRAM
Just a sprain. Little ibuprofen and rice
and you’ll be fine.
LUNA
Yeah, carb loading sounds good right
about now.
VIKRAM
No. RICE. Rest, Ice, Compression,
Elevation.
LUNA
Can I also have actual rice?
VIKRAM
Sure, love.
ISAAC
Vik, whiskey?
VIKRAM
Dear God, yes.
ISAAC POURS VIKRAM A DRINK. VIKRAM KNOCKS IT BACK.
ISAAC
Luna?
LUNA
Nah, I’m gonna go home.
VIKRAM
I’ll take you.
LUNA
No. You enjoy your fancy whiskey. I’ll
call an Uber.
ISAAC CROSSES OUT. VIKRAM LOOKS UP AT LUNA.
VIKRAM
We okay?
LUNA
Always.
VIKRAM
So, maybe we try dinner next week?
LUNA
Absolutely. And I’ll wear flats.
VIKRAM JOINS ADAM AND ISAAC.
ADAM
(TO VIKRAM) Sorry, buddy.
VIKRAM
Ah, I’ll live. Appreciate you doing your
“daddy” thing. Perhaps having you around
won’t be so bad.
ISAAC
My boys are bonding! I love this.
SKYLAR
Yeah, it is nice having you here.
ADAM
It feel good to be back.
ISAAC
So, does that mean you’ll finally unpack?
ADAM
Yes. I will finally unpack.
ADAM NODS AND SMILES. HE THEN TURNS AND NOTICES LUNA OPENING THE
UBER APP ON HER PHONE.
ADAM (CONT’D)
Whoa. You’re gonna hobble to an Uber?
Really? I’ll drive you. I haven’t had
anything to drink. It’s no trouble.
LUNA
Yeah. Okay. Thanks.
LUNA ATTEMPTS TO HOP TO ADAM. AFTER A MOMENT, ADAM PICKS LUNA UP

AND CARRIES HER OUT THE DOOR. VIKRAM SHAKES HIS HEAD, CLEARLY NOT
OVER WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE W
INT. ADAM’S CAR - LATER - (NIGHT 2)

(Luna, Adam, Skylar)
ADAM DRIVES WITH LUNA AS HIS PASSENGER.
ADAM
You okay?
LUNA
Yeah. Tonight was just too much pressure.
Vikram and I will try again... when it
isn’t so forced.
ADAM
I meant your foot. It’s the size of a
honey-baked ham.
LUNA
Oh. It’s also fine.
ADAM
Listen, love sucks. I’m a recovering
serial monogamist, so I know of which I
speak.
LUNA
Recovering, huh?
ADAM
Yeah. I’ve been in back to back
relationships for over a decade. It’ll be
good to just casually date. Never done
that.
LUNA
Oh, it’s the worst. I’ll happily show you
the ropes.
ADAM
You saying you’ll be my wingwoman?
LUNA
Sure. Why not?
ADAM
Cool. (NOTICING LUNA IS DISTRACTED) And
something is still bugging you.
LUNA
Eh, it’s stupid.
ADAM
What is it?
LUNA
Maybe... maybe I’m a bad kisser.
ADAM
(LAUGHING) What?
LUNA
Vikram has been into me for, like, ever
yet when our lips touched he was
immediately over me. He all but admitted
that I was a terrible kisser.
ADAM
That’s too bad. Luckily, you’re really
hot so -- (OFF HER LOOK) Come on. That’s
insane. I’m sure that’s not true.

LUNA
Well, now I’m a little insecure about it.
Whatever. It’s fine.
ADAM PARKS AND TURNS TO LUNA.
ADAM
Kiss me.
LUNA
What?
ADAM
I’m a great kisser. I’ve been practicing
daily for the last decade. Serial
monogamists get a lot of practice. I’ll
give you an honest assessment.
LUNA
Uh--
ADAM
Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t. ‘Cause you
might fall in love with me and it would
be super embarrassing for you.
LUNA
Please. You’re not even remotely my type.
ADAM
Not into tall, dark and handsome?
LUNA
Dark? Says the Irishman to the Latina?
ADAM
Hey, you’re not into this? Even better.
Nothing to lose, bigfoot.

LUNA
You know what? Okay. Yeah. So, how’s this
gonna--
ADAM
Luna, stop talking.
ADAM KISSES THE HELL OUT OF HER. IT’S INTENSE. THEN...
ADAM (CONT’D)
(SEEMINGLY UNFAZED) Okay, the problem is
your teeth. It’s like making out with a
piano -- Luna, I’m kidding.
SHE PUNCHES HIM IN THE ARM.
ADAM (CONT’D)
Ow. That is one serious right hook.
(THEN) You’ve got nothing to worry about.
LUNA
Thanks.
ADAM
That is usually what women say after I
kiss them. You are so welcome. (THEN,
NOTICING) Hey, it’s 11:11.
LUNA
So it is.
ADAM
You gonna make a wish?
LUNA SMILES AND NODS. SHE CLOSES HER EYES AS ADAM REEVALUATES HER.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
That eventually became their thing.
Kissing every time it was 11:11.

(MORE)
DAUGHTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
One of the many adorable things they did
through my whole life.
LUNA OPENS HER EYES.
ADAM
(RE: WISH) Looks like it was a good one.
SHE NODS. A MOMENT, THEN SKYLAR POPS UP FROM THE BACK SEAT.
SKYLAR
That Johnny Walker was no joke. I totally
passed out. What’d I miss?
SMASH CUT TO:

SCENE X
EXT. PORTLAND FOOD TRUCK COMMON AREA “THE PARK” - NIGHT 3

ADAM, ISAAC, SKYLAR, AND VIKRAM ARE OUT HAVING A BALL.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
Mom said she knew right then. At 11:11
that night. Dad said he knew the first
time he heard mom sing.
PULL BACK TO SEE THAT KARAOKE IS SET UP. LUNA STANDS AT THE MIC
AND STARTS TO SING “HOW WILL I KNOW” BY WHITNEY HOUSTON. IT. IS.
MAGIC. VIKRAM THINKS SHE’S SINGING TO HIM; IT’S CLEAR HE’S STILL
PINING FOR HER, HARD. BUT THEN HE NOTICES THAT LUNA’S EYES ARE ON
ADAM.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
But it would take some time before they
found their way to each other. Because
life had other plans.
JUST THEN ADAM GET’S A TEXT. HE LOOKS AT IT, STUNNED.
POV SHOT OF ADAM’S PHONE. THE TEXT IS FROM HEATHER: “I MISS YOU.
LET’S TALK.” HE LOOKS BACK UP AT LUNA.
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
It wasn’t easy.
SUDDENLY, ADAM’S PHONE STARTS TO RING. IT’S HEATHER. HE LOOKS AT

IT, THEN, AFTER CONSIDERING, WALKS AWAY TO ANSWERS IT.
ADAM
Hello?
DAUGHTER (V.O.)
Then again, as Mom and Dad always told
me, nothing that good ever is.
THE CROWD CHEER ON LUNA. SHE SMILES BUT HER EYES DART AROUND
LOOKING FOR ADAM. NOTHING.
FADE OUT.

History of Them 1x01 - 11-11

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

History of Them 1x01 - 11-11

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

HISTORY OF THEM

Gloria Calderon Kellett

WE START WITH A BOOMERANG OF OUR CAST. ADAM, ISAAC, VIKRAM,

DAUGHTER (NARRATOR) (V.O.)

I’m going to tell you a little story.

THE BOOMERANG FREEZES. A CIRCLE IS MADE AROUND LUNA.

That is my mother, Luna. It was taken on

her twenty-eighth birthday, September 17,

2018. What a cool future mama, amiright?

My dad’s in there, too. But I’ll get to

SCROLLING THROUGH LUNA’S INSTAGRAM: ON A MECHANICAL BULL, MAKING A

Even as a dog she was a total babe.

(THEN) I have to admit, when I was

younger I just thought my parents were

people who provided me with food,

shelter, and an increased genetic risk of

diabetes. But as I got older I started to

realize that they were real human beings.

Who had dreams. Who made mistakes. Who

fell in love. My parents’ story really

started on this day. But it was not

without its twists and turns.

INT. REYES HOME - MORNING (DAY 1)

POST: A PLATE OF MICKEY MOUSE PANCAKES WITH A FROSTING BIRTHDAY

I can’t believe our baby is twenty-eight.

But thanks to my Cuba-rican genes, I don’t

look a day over eighteen. Gracias, padres!

De nada, mijita! I’m fifty-two and they

still card me!

She got carded at the Costco when we went

to buy booze for your party. She was so

happy, she bought the check out girl a

(DEEP BREATH) So, listen, I’m cooked. Soy

una mujer. Thirty is like (POINTING) right

there. I see you thirty. Sup, girl. And I

feel like I’ve lost my way a bit. So, I made

a to-do list this morning.

trip around the sun a good one. Starting

with something kinda big.

Not bangs again. Every few years you

think it’ll be a good idea. It never is.

Nope. (BIG BREATH) Look, we live together

and work together. And I love it, but,

even though this may devastate you, I’m

thinking of moving out.

A LONG BEAT, THEN MANOLO AND TATI BOTH CHEER.

What? Wait, you’re happy about this?

Ay, baby, we will miss you like crazy.

Of course. I will now live in perpetual fear

but if anything happens to you I will avenge

you. I will be like Batman. Batmanolo!

Honestly, I was starting to worry ‘cause

I was watching my Gayle on the morning

You mean Oprah’s Gayle?

She is also my Gayle! And she was talking

about overprotective parents who want to

solve all of their children’s problems--

And we thought, oh, she’s talking about Latinos.

But she was talking about it like it was

a bad thing. She said those kids grow up

Forgive us! Lunita, you have to understand,

we came from countries where we couldn’t