Sion, Mark Andrew February 18, 2021

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BODY LANGUAGE: FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE?

Communication is very important for us human beings. It allows us to connect to other
people. It also helps us to send and receive the information we need in our everyday life. When
we talk about communication, it doesn’t just mean talking and listening. It is also comprised of
what we call body language or gestures. Indeed, words aren’t enough to express the things we
want to tell to the person we are talking to. Sometimes, actions are needed to intensify our
statements further. A person who just plainly stands and talks in front of so many people looks
boring and dull, and sometimes we even wonder if the things he is saying are accurate. Body
language or gestures could be a great aid to help the receiver understand clearly the message we
want to convey. It also helps the speaker to attract and to encourage the listeners to listen to him
or her. But sometimes, these actions could bring more harm than good if we don’t take a look at
the background, especially the culture and some other factors, of the person we are
communicating with. Some actions that we are unknowingly doing, which seem normal to us,
may be perceived as negative by the receiver of our message.
When it comes to gender, we should know that there is a thin line that limits and controls
what men and women can do to each other, and that thin line represents each other’s privacy. I
both have male and female friends. When we are together, it feels like we are the “wildest
people” in the world, and we’ll laugh even at small things that we see. But even though we are so
close, we know our limitations. We, men, can jokingly touch each other’s chests or private parts
just to annoy each other. We even punch each other without crying, or say nasty things without
us getting offended since we know that those things are just normal for us. But when it comes to
our female friends, we don’t grab their chest just to make fun of them or saying nasty things and
dirty jokes to them, especially in public places where many people who will hear it will find it
improper and rude. We also don’t punch our female friends “just for fun” because we respect
them and we all know that will fall under RA 9262 or the Violence Against Women Act.
I still have so many stories regarding the things that are appropriate and inappropriate to
say and do, especially to people opposite of our gender. I remember one time, when I and my
female friend (who is the most sensitive in the group) were in a heated argument, I accidentally
said something bad to her, so I have to calm and stop her from crying for almost 30 minutes. It
took me so many hours before I gained her forgiveness. I also remember my two friends, boy
and a girl, being reprimanded by my teacher for running around the campus, holding hands and
laughing like two crazy people. Our teacher got mad and I remembered her saying, “This is a
place for learning and not for dating.”
Another example is, seeing two boys hugging or two girls hugging in public are just
nothing but a normal scene. It’s just a sign of friendship. But when we see a boy and a girl
hugging, we sometimes misinterpret them and think of them as couples. Even though how much
they’ll deny, most of us will still think they are in a relationship because that’s what the society
has told us to think; a man and a woman can’t be friends. When you see each other being so
close together, they are couples.
Aside from knowing each other’s privacy and limiting ourselves when doing those kinds
of “body languages”, let us also think what other people might think. We may be doing
something friendly and nice, but others may perceive it as being flirtatious and forbidden,
especially for us Filipinos, wherein we live in a country bounded by conservatism.
In terms of ethnical background, I remember this one story. When I was on Senior High
School, I studied in an Adventist School where there are a lot of international students. Diversity
in terms of race, language, and beliefs were clearly seen. We have this classmate from South
Africa. Not to be racist, but at first, we were afraid to talk to him because he always has this
serious face. Every time he will look at us, his eyes looks like he’s about to punch us or want to
fight with us. One time, we had an activity in our Oral Communication subject where everyone is
paired to someone they are not friends with. I was paired with our African classmate and at first,
I find it awkward to talk to him. He initiated the conversation. We asked each other’s names and
I thought he’s going to break my hand when we did a handshake. But he said, it is just normal in
their country, and the tighter the better (since it means you really want to know the person more
and you want to befriend him/her more). Since then, things don’t get awkward with us anymore
and he became a part of our group of friendship. We’ve got to furtherly know him and he is the
exact opposite of our first impression to him.
In terms of cultural background, I have this story that I will never forget. I am a Filipino
and I even have no idea with some of the body languages or gestures that should be avoided in
our country, in which I am unknowingly doing. One time, I was in a relative’s party. Someone
was talking to me and I was seriously listening to her while I am crossing my arms. I was really
interested and I just did that gesture because I find it comfortable when I do that. After a few
minutes, she stopped talking and asked me if I’m uninterested since I was doing that body
language. It was too late for me to realize that that gesture is usually done when you don’t want
to talk to that person or you’re bored with them. I also remember when my teacher reprimanded
me for not giving her a direct eye contact while I was talking. She found it rude and told me to
never do it again since it’s kind of disrespectful to the one you’re talking to.
With these things, I’ve realized that we shouldn’t just think of the things we will say. We
must also take a look of the body languages and gestures we will use for our intentions are
usually shown and reflected into it. With the proper use and execution of these things, we will
surely be able to convey the message we want to tell to our receiver without any disturbances.
We must be always sensitive, and remember that each of us have our own indifferences
especially with our beliefs and culture. What is acceptable to us maybe disrespectful to others.
Let us educate ourselves. When going to a place we are not familiar with, let us make it a habit to
research about the culture of the place and the do’s and don’t’s. Every culture is unique for each
country and places. These indifferences that we possess are what makes us a perfect creation of
God.