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Bridget Jones's Diary Script
Bridget Jones's Diary Script
BRIDGET: My mum--
By the way, the Darcys are here. They brought Mark with them.
This.
Tsk. [Sighs]
How's it going?
Torture.
Uhh.
Mark?
BRIDGET: Maybe this was the mysterious Mr. Right...
[Sighs]
-So...ha. -So.
-Yes. -Mmm.
[Chuckles, sighs]
Mmm.
Yummy.
Turkey curry.
My favorite.
in "Fatal Attraction."
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
[Guitar plays]
All by myself
Don'twannabe
Allbymyself
Anymore
Ohh
Ohh
Oh-oh-oh
Allbymyself
Number two...
Egually important...
peeping toms,megalomaniacs...
Baby,lgot
BRIDGET,DRUNK, SINGING: Oh
Can'tlive
I can'tlive
Can't give anymore
Huh?
[Indistinct chattering]
BRIDGET:Ah.
by : .
[Telephone rings]
Publicity.
JUDE:Am I codependent?
No,you're not.
on traditional masculinity.
Ah.
Mm-hmm.
DANIEL: Wow.
Huh.
Amazing.
BRIDGET: Shazzer--journalist...
Excellent.
Is that Cleaver chap still as cute as ever?
Oh, God,yes.
[Laughter]
Ohh! Whoops.
Afternoon, Bridget.
[Gasps]
Am appalled by message.
to skirt.
Ooh. Oh,lsee.
Right. Yeah.
Good plan.
Cleave.
DANIEL:Message Jones.
Deeply apologetic.
P.S. Like your tits in that top.
[Ding]
Daniel.
Jones--
[Ding]
Yes, certainly.
[Ding]
[Chuckles]
Certainly, sir.
Hmm.
Ah,yes, of course.
but your whole future happiness now depends on how you behave...
Ow! Gooh!
Salman.
Salman. Salman.
Circulate.
Oozing intelligence.
Chech-nya!
TOM: Exactly.
Excuse me.
[Laughter]
end up in flagrante...
Ooh.
[Laughter]
Not. [Laughter]
[Inhales]
I'm well.
Perpetua. Ha.
with a cruel-racedex-wife.
BRIDGET:Ah, Perpetua.
Ah, Natasha.
Bridgetworks in publishing...
Disaster.
Ah,yes, Mark.
Just give me time. Give me time.
[Laughs]
Thanks.
[Microphone notworking]
One,two.
[Blows]
[People chattering]
BRIDGET:L-ladies and...
L--
Oi!
Oi!
Ladies andgentlemen...
[Mild applause]
Anyway, at least.
properly, ha ha...
Mr...
Mr...
Fitzherbert, uh...
because...
Mr. Fitzherbert.
Thankyou.
[Mild applause]
FITZHERBERT: Thankyou,Brenda.
[Sighs]
[Feedback]
is yourwork, Salman?
Excuse me.
Jones. Sod 'em all.
DANIEL:ltwas abrilliant...
Uhh.
[Sighs]
What aboutyou?
Same. Yeah.
He was a mate.
Well, um,then...
And, um...
That's an order,Jones.
justfull sex.
It's a pleasure,Jones.
Love,love
Oh
Ooh
You're alone
To fallin love
Or just pretend
Oh,baby
And, um...
Jesus. Fuck.
Hello, Mummy.
ROSEYSINGING:Love
Thatyou willopen up
Letit in
So jump rightin
Ha. Huh.
Ohh. Mmm.
Ay, ay.
Notice what?
Hang on a minute,Jones.
It's notexactly...
um, a long-term relationship, is it?
[Telephone rings]
[Ring ring]
Ohh.
[Ring ring]
Mmm.
Mum. Hi.
that the moment one area of your life starts going OK...
he wouldn't notice.
Greer.
Well, anyway, I'm not having it. And I've been talent spotted.
Who's Julian?
Potentialforwhat?
Mrs. Jones
MUM: Julian.
Hello!
Look at this.
Well.
DAD: What?
[Revs engine]
It's very quiet here, isn't it? Are we the only guests, or...
Oh. Hmm.
Oh,Jesus.
-Hello there. -Hi.
MARK: Well,well.
Yes,that's right.
How interesting.
and...
mellow fruitlessness.
BRIDGET: Aah!
[Bridget laughs]
[Laughing]
Bollocks.
All right.
Aah! No!
So childish.
BRIDGET:Aah!No!
Yes.
Ha ha!
in several countries.
in his speeches.
BRIDGET:lintendto.
Daniel.
DANIEL:Bridget.
Here.
[Bridget laughs]
You're begging for it.
[Bridget laughs]
[Laughs]
No,no.
Hmm.
On a Sunday?
Listen, Daniel...
Sorry.
Hmm.
And, um...
Good.
Good start.
[People chattering]
[Laughter]
JULIELONDONSINGING: Fly me to the moon
Bridget.
GEOFFREY:Bop,bop.
Oh.
Geoffrey.
[Laughs weakly]
JULIELONDONSINGING: You are all long for
Oh, God.
MUM:Darling! Geoffrey!
Say hi to Julian.
Hello,Julian.
My dear...
the sort of thing one can wear with anything to any occasion.
Oh.
Have you spoken to my dad?
[Breathes deeply]
[Footsteps]
Heh heh.
[Laughs]
BRIDGET: Oh.
I'm sorry, Dad.
Is it?
I don't know.
DAD:ldon'tknow.
I'm sorry?
Oh, right.
Lovely dress.
Very exotic.
Absolutely not.
Sorry?
[Doorbell rings]
Hi.
and I'll call round, and we'll have dinner later, OK?
[Door closes]
Bastards.
[Laughs] Oh.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Fine. That'sfine.
Oh...
and you know last night when I said that I loved you?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
[Drops bag]
Bridge.
Bridget.
Lara,this is Bridget.
Hey,there.
[Bridget sniffles]
Aah!
[Continues indistinctly]
That's wonderful.
DANIEL:Right.
DANIEL:I feel...terrible.
And I think...
Lara and--
well,young,you know?
Well,we've...become very close.
Uh...
Oh.
Silly Bridget.
DANIEL:No.
Oh.
Oh,fuck.
we're engaged.
seems inevitable.
[Sighs]
It's allinme
Anything you want done,baby
I'll do it naturally
Mmm
It's all in me
Whoa
Ahh.
Ohh!
Fuck.
[Laughs]
BRIDGET:Ah.
Sorry.
Oh, and...
incidentally...
Oh, Bridget.
Come on, it's...
Television?
so, um...
Bridget.
What?
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
I get tired
[Song stops]
But--
Great.
I'll do it.
Go?
Stop!
[Grunts]
Oh, OK.
Uhh! Uhh!
BRIDGET: Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
oh, God.
Hi,there.
Hello.
BRIDGET: No.
Terribly brill.
Right.
Yes,yes.
One in three.
[Laughs]
[Faint laughter]
Thank you.
I just...
yeah,well.
So.
No, it didn't.
[Doorbell buzzes]
Good night.
Look, um...
I'm sorry if I've been...
What?
infact...
Right.
well...
bye.
BRIDGET: Mm-mmm.
Well...
fuck me.
Mmm. Mmm.
[Laughs]
[Barking]
Cigarettes--three.
Birthday--thirty-three.
Yes, of course.
Big case...
Oh,that's exciting.
Good afternoon.
Hi.
Sorry?
Nothing.
Look...
And action.
Right.
[Laughs]
Good afternoon.
Ecstatically astounded
Right.
String.
String,string,string.
Perfect.
Emotionally dumbfounded
[Telephone rings]
Bridget Jones.
Hello, darling.
Hi, Mum.
Oh, l...
Bye, Mum.
[Hangs up]
Ecch.
[Knock on door]
Oh.
Oh.
BRIDGET:Huh.
How's it look?
[Laughs]
Have a drink.
Yes.
Happy birthday.
Thankyou.
[Laughs]
[Sighs]
Did I really run round your lawn naked?
Oh,yes.
Right.
[Doorbell buzzes]
Icanhear
Hey,TV queen.
Hello.
Hello.
It's OK
[Laughs]
SHELBYLYNNESINGING: Mmm,mmm
Excellent.
Mmm. Yeah.
Delicious.
TOM:Really special.
[Laughter]
SHAZZER: Say...
Mmm.
Mark, why did your wife leave you?
Mmm, delicious.
[Laughter]
[Laughter]
Ittastes like--
Marmalade.
Thankyou.
To Bridget...
ALL: To Bridget...
[Doorbell buzzes]
I'll go.
[Door opens]
Who?
Darcy.
Excuse me.
Yes.
That Sunday in the country...
Come outside.
[Distant siren]
I just panicked.
Dumped me.
She realized that I hadn't got overyou.
Bridge...
Oh, God.
Good-bye, Bridget.
BRIDGET: Mark.
Bridge...
I'm sorry?
DANIEL: Outside?
This.
Ooh! Fuck!
Ahh!
-This. -Aah!
Uhh!
[Music playing]
Fight!
MAN: What?
Well, quick!
It's a realfight!
[Crowd yells]
Cheat!
Mark's, obviously.
TOM: Oh,yes!
Mark!
Ohh! Ohh!
Aah!
I really am sorry.
-Uh... -Ohh...
-Uhh. -Uhh.
Jesus.
Uhh.
All right.
Enough.
Enough.
Wanker.
[All gasp]
and normal...
under a misapprehension.
DANIEL: Uhh.
Come on.
We belong together,Jones.
Me,you.
Right.
Um...
on someone who's...
Weight-- pounds...
Alcohol units--
Oh, thousands.
Bugger off!
Well...
Night, night.
Night, night.
[Door closes]
[Clock chimes]
[Breathes deeply]
Oh!
[Both laugh]
[Both laugh]
Awful. [Laughs]
[Pam laughs]
Get dressed.
BRIDGET: Whatfor?
Whatfor, indeed.
Cruel race.
Whoo
Say it again
Whoo
Say it again
So...
So.
Hello, Bridget.
Well, uh...
Listen, uh...
Ah.
No, it was the other way around.
It was my wife...
my heart.
Sorry.
Well done.
Well, um...
pop outthere...
for a moment?
BRIDGET: OK.
Um...
You once said that you liked me just as I am...
I mean...
in every situation.
and...
I like you.
Crikey.
Excuse me.
Of course.
ALL: To Geraldine.
[Light applause]
Natasha.
BRIDGET: No!No!
It's justthat...
f-for England...
to lose...
Iike me andyou...
Uh...
WOMAN:Ahem.
Well...better dash.
Mainly...poofs.
Bye.
[Crowd murmurs]
Wasn't right
I was stupid
For a while
Swept away
By you
Like a fool
So confused
My heart's bruised
Out of reach
So far
Out of reach
Couldn't see
Catch my self
Keepin'busy
Every day
[Doorbell buzzes]
I know I will be OK
Yes?
Oh.
I know.
Yep, pants.
MARK: Bridget?
TOM: Stop being so bossy.
Excellent speech.
Which was?
Um....
So...
you're not going to America,then?
-No. -No.
So it would seem.
ALL:Aah!
SHAZZER: Go,Bridget!
Friends of yours?
[Laughs]
Not.
Uh...
[Door closes]
Right.
Right.
[Door closes]
Mark?
Mark?
Mark!
Mark!
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Double shit.
BRIDGET:Bollocks!
Oh, God.
Mark?
Mark!
Oh, damn.
I am so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I know that.
[Laughs]
Waitin'for you
To come through
Wait a minute.
To me
And nowl've met Miss Jones
Whoa, fellas
I lost my breath
And sky
How!
It was so careless of me
Nothing I can do
Yeah
Oh, yeah
Lie
You've done it to me
You'reputtin'me under
I close my eyes atnight
Sittin' undersky