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Minsoe Kim

Amanda Montei

Critical thinking Shap Mean

May 20, 2021

Dear Friends,

I want to make a chance to rethink racism by talking about myself today. As an Asian, I

think telling my own story while living abroad will make everyone feel sympathy.

When I was in college, I asked if my Korean girlfriend, whom I met while traveling to

Australia, was discriminated against while traveling, but I didn't feel any racism at that

time, so I didn't sympathize much with my friend who experienced racism countless

times during his trip to Australia. I think I was just comforting my friend by responding

to the question, "Is that really happening?" and "You must be upsetting."

As a social worker, I often hung out with white colleagues from the U.S. and Canada, and

one day at a drinking party, one of them asked me, "Do you know what's the difference

between black and tires?" And I got emotional and cried out to the racist, cursing in

English. It turned out that he usually made such racist remarks, but despite the protests

from his colleagues, he didn't get fired and filled the contract period until the end and

returned to his country. Until now, I hated racism itself, but I think I was taking a third-

party stance.

In 2012, I began to adapt to life in the United States with my American husband and

worked as a sub-teacher in a Midwest school district in the United States for three
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months. On the last day of sub-teaching for the school district, I was supervising when

the children were playing on the playground before leaving school, and a child who I saw

for the first time put his face close to mine and pretended to tear his eyes open. And then

he ran away quickly. I think I said something to the kid running on his back, but I don't

remember exactly. What just happened?' I still vividly remember the feeling of being

puzzled, dumbfounded. It was the first racist act I've ever been subjected to. I didn't think

about how to deal with racism in advance, and I knew I had to report it in common sense,

but I didn't know the child's name, couldn't remember his face, and it was his last day at

work, so I wanted to avoid it. That night, I couldn't sleep well thinking, "I shouldn't have

left the situation like that?" But I think I've put aside my thoughts on racism as an Asian

living in Hawaii, where Asians account for the largest population in the next few years.

When I returned to the U.S. mainland, the number of incidents of discrimination against

people of color increased. In this school district, there were opportunities to see and learn

about ARICAN-AMERICAN education activities every February, and there were many

racist situations where I was directly involved at work or mart, so I could feel myself

becoming more sensitive to racism in the United States. Whenever there was a big or

small event, I looked into how it was appropriate to deal with it, how prevention could be

done, and BLM, but I didn't participate very actively in the issue of racism only when I

heard the news. Then, I often hear news about Asian hate crimes in New York, LA, etc.,

including the Atlanta shooting, and I'm scared to think that I have to go back to school

soon. So I wrote about it in other cafes. Most of the people who read it said, "If the kids

do something wrong, talk like this." "Don't get hurt." "It's not my fault, it's their fault."
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I'm so thankful to those who comfort me and give me comments, but after reading those

comments, I fell into a deeper dilemma. They have never been discriminated against in

person, but I think and understand that they advised me because they wanted to comfort

me because I was scared as I comforted my racist friend in the past. But I think I wrote

this because I wanted to get the energy to feel and work together. In their comments, they

said, "Racism didn't happen because of my fault" and gave me superficial solutions such

as "It's my loss." Of course, it's good to be able to deal with it without being hurt. But it

doesn't mean that I won't get hurt if I decide not to get hurt, but is it because I'm not

strong or does it feel like it's also my fault? And when I read the phrase, "It's not my

problem, it's their problem," I thought about why I wasn't comforted by it and got my

own answer. "It's not my problem" is useless even if I try, so I think that's what makes me

lethargic. In other words, I'm not trying, but the problematic ones should try. But do

racists really try to change themselves? I want to clarify that racism is their problem, but

it's our problem that we all have to solve together. I can be a victim of racism, but at the

same time, I feel much more comfortable thinking that I can be a person who can solve

the problem. Rather than saying "cheer up" to people who are struggling with racial

discrimination, I think it would be great to have a sense of problem, saying, "Let's cheer

up and overcome it together." There is a saying that silence is conspiracy. Racism is not

just in the United States and Europe, but in Korea where I live and all over the world.

Perhaps it will be difficult to create a world without racism in our lifetime. However,

racism would be great if we could work together to find what individuals and

communities can do with the "hope" that we can all work together to improve.
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