Listening around the world by: Cindy Peace

In both my work as a cross-cultural trainer and as a professional coach, listening is a crucial skill.
Certainly, one I want to continue developing. I train people to be good observers, a skill that we practice
in training sessions and a learnable skill that is foundational to becoming culturally competent. As we
move to the end of that section I usually suggest to the cohort that they can make both visual and
auditory observations. And to be culturally competent we need to do both. In practice the auditory
observational skill, the skill of listening, is just as important as the visual observations that we make and
learn from.

As an expat myself living in Delhi, through listening, I have learned: how to compliment, how to be
funny, how to bargain, how to say no (which sometimes involves using the word ‘yes’), how to say yes
(which sometimes involves using the word ‘no’), what to say when I know a decision will disappoint
someone, how to start or end a conversation and more. Communication is such a big part of culture and
listening is key to getting that piece correct. On top of that, through listening I’ve come to learn a lot
about how the people of my country think and feel. Which has enriched my stay.

As a coach, the question is our most powerful tool. However, the question is useless unless I am
listening carefully to my client’s reply. I must hear what they are saying, understand it in their context,
understand their perspective or mindset, hear what they aren’t saying, and listen for the emotion
behind it. Listening is enhanced by curiosity. Listening is enhanced when we realize we can learn
something from everyone. Listening is enhanced when we engage with the other person’s being. It
requires focus – on the other. My mind must be free of my own thoughts. As a coach, I don’t reply with,
“Yeah, that happened to me once. I was ….”, but with another question that helps my client bring out
more meaning.

The International Coach Federation defines active listening as “The ability to focus completely on what
the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the
client’s desires and to support client self-expression.” As coaches we go back to that definition often,
looking for ways to do it better. In that definition is that nice little phrase “in the context of”. As I coach I
listen specific to the context of my client.

Here’s where my roles as a cross-cultural trainer and a coach intersect. In supporting global leaders or
expat managers, I have come to realize that they need to be good observers, through seeing and
listening, and that they can often manage their direct reports better if they can adopt a coaching style to
use when appropriate. One of the key challenges of expat managers is building trust so that the
employees will tell them what’s really going on. When they learn to ask open non-threatening questions
and listen carefully to the replies, the manager can gather the information that is needed to manage
well in that context. So, active listening is a key skill for expat managers and global leaders.

I’m also fascinated with the work of Richard D Lewis around the ideas of communication patterns and
listening habits of different national cultures. In part I love the fact that he put his ideas into graphs and
pie charts giving me a visual to feed my mental activity. When browsing through his book, When
Cultures Collide, I almost laughed when I saw the pie chart for my own cultural orientation, “U.S.A.
Listening Habits”. It includes these elements among others, “listens in snatches, entertain me, what’s
new, and get to the point.” Compare that with a selection of the German listening habits: “Listens well
for information, needs history and context, no jokes – please.” Or with some Japanese listening habits:
“courteous listeners who never interrupt, ready to take hints, content less important than speaker’s
manner.” (pg 71) When one thinks about the small amount of information on cultural difference that I
just shared, doesn’t it become obvious that we need to adjust our communication style to the listening
style of our audience. A global leader can’t deliver the same presentation in the same way in Germany,
Japan and the US.

And so, as a global leader, how can you learn to adapt your communication? – by listening. So, go, listen
around the world. And have fun doing it.

Sources:

https://coachfederation.org/core-competencies

Lewis, Richard D. When Cultures Collide. Boston: Nicholas Brealey, 2006