My Philosophy in Life by Lindsay Fordan

I was raised in a Christian family and literally in a Christian home. We are currently

living in a Christian Church because my father works here as a Care Taker. Since the day I was

born, we are already living here. Every Wednesdays, Saturdays, and especially Sundays I get to

interact with my fellow Christians that goes here. I get to play with Christians kids, too.

I was like any other typical kid. I was raised believing that there is a God that created

everything. I grew up with a mind-set that I need to have a dream, finish my studies, find a stable

job, get rich, get married, and have kids. I believed that crap until June 2012. But before that

date, I was actually optimistic. My first dream job was to become a teacher. I remember the time

when I always ask my father for 1 peso so I can buy a piece of chalk to write on a blackboard at

our home and teach my Barbie doll. It is both hilarious and disgusting to reminisce. I wasn’t that

smart and I was such a shy kid, but I was pretty hopeful and positive.

June 2012. The first month of Junior High School. My first time in a new school with

new classmates and teachers. I was so optimistic, I remember myself literally smiling when I

went inside the classroom. I was so excited like any other kid. I expected so much; I expected

positive things about Junior High School. But I was wrong. Everything didn’t happen as I

expected. It was my fault that I raised my hopes high and expected so much. Junior High School

was hell for me. Everything I believed in was wrong. I thought all of my classmates was going to

be nice to me. But I ended up being bullied verbally and physically. I was so positive that I will

have high grades. But I depression blocked my way. I got depressed at that young age. I was

overflowing of hopes and desires. But because of that incident, everything was scattered on the

floor and was broken into small pieces. Every single thing faded away into nothingness. I was
left defeated and feeling dead inside. After that incident, my perspective about life tilted into a

different direction. In just a blink of an eye, my view towards the world changed. I started

questioning everything. I started questioning why I am breathing, my purpose in life, the

meaning of life itself, and even the existence of God.

Dreams

My dreams changed as I grow up. From wanting to be a teacher to a writer, a composer, a

spoken word artist, photographer, and now a filmmaker. Yes, I still dreamed despite what

happened. I still have a few hope kept inside my heart. I realized that we shouldn’t sacrifice the

thing that we are truly passionate about. We are people with freedom. We should pursue the

things that we want to be no matter what. We shouldn’t depend on our family and friends about

our future job. I believe that if we follow our dreams, that’s the time that we will be genuinely

happy. If we get a job from doing what we are passionate about then we will not work for the

rest of our lives. Instead, we just enjoy our lives to the fullest every day.

Studies

I wasn’t that smart when I was kid. But I still manage to cope with school. All of us

believes that we should study hard and maintain high grades. I tried studying hard also. But, of

course, it wasn’t enough. I believe that we should study the things that we really want to learn

about. We should learn something new in every day. We enjoy learning when the topic is what

we really wanted to hear. I also believe that if you don’t feel like going to school then simply

don’t go. One of the reasons why kids skip class is because of depression. And I have

experienced and is still experiencing that. We shouldn’t force ourselves in doing what we don’t
want to do. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health.

Purpose in Life

As a person that grew up in a Christian home, I believe that our purpose here on Earth is

to give glory to God. That’s it. I believe in that. But it is getting harder and harder to believe in

that. Everybody around me says the same thing over and over. “Your purpose in life is to follow

your dreams” “Your purpose in life is to finish your studies” “Your purpose in life is to have a

stable job” “Your purpose in life is to have a family” In my opinion, all of that is just crap. I

want to have my own purpose; a meaningful purpose. But for now I’m still searching for a

‘meaningful purpose’ that I want to hold on to until I get old.

I’m actually having troubles and anxieties about my grades because of my depression.

But I learned to not overthink too much and to not care about it at all. I only do school works that

I find interesting and helpful for myself. I don’t tell my parents to go to school to get my report

card. Not overthinking helps a lot.

Family

We have a unique connection among each other. Call me whatever you want, but I agree

that our parents should give every single thing that they need and want because we are their

obligation as their daughter/son.