PreDP1 S: Logical Division of Ideas essay

Feedback Session

Read through the sentences/ fragments of sentences below taken out from your classmates’
essays and correct errors in style, punctuation, argumentation and grammar.

Punctuation

. . . such as: rise in unemployment, hindrance of human interaction and invasion of privacy. 

Technology is „the of techniques, skills, methods and processes used in the production of goods or
services or in the accomplishment of objectives, such as scientific investigation; it can be the
knowledge of techniques, process, and the like, which can be embedded in machines”, according to
wikipedia.

When texting people are more likely to falsely express their emotions.

This information often includes the users: age, nationality, gender, place of work, location, often visited
websites and recent activities or hobbies.

 Finally, the internet, websites and social media, cause frequent violations of privacy, as they enable
ones discreet  information to be shared with certain advertisement companies.

In everyday life, people use technology mostly to check for example the weather.

Other factors in which technology helps are: fighting crime and criminals, entertainment,
healthcare, and artificial intelligence
Residing in a large and densely populated city does not always mean a place, where everyone is
rushing,
As Gustavo Petro states, “A developed country isn’t a place where the poor have cars. It’s where the
rich use public transportation.”, which proves that public transportation is beneficial to all residents of
a metropolis.
Citizens of a metropolis, who come from other countries have an impact on the experience of
others without travelling, by introducing them to unique lifestyles and local communities. 
In conclusion, living in a metropolis has numerous advantages, that offer noteworthy benefits and
opportunities for the citizens.

It is used in countless places, that can range from monitoring a patience’s state making surgeries
much safer to perform, to even making special drugs, that are crucial in this industry.

These are becoming the competencies of the 21st Century, which are worth considering when building
future life preferences. 

Style

This method of communication is easier and more convenient, which is why texting has risen to such
popularity
People vs humans (research the difference)

People . . . aren’t as engaged as during real life conversation.

People nowadays have become very dependent on technology.

 Internet friends have become a popular thing.

 Meeting friends has become easier than ever due to multiple communicators that allow people to

contact their friend

But according to the Polish national institute of law and national safety: “the training process for
medical employees relies too much on technology with the course teaching trainees how to operate
complex machines instead of how processes should be executed.”

In conclusion, modern technology has played a huge role in shaping the world we live in

… thanks to staying in a very diverse community,

 It all adds up to the fact that … 
However, exceptions are countries like Finland, Sweden, or Belgium.
So, undoubtedly, living in metropolises has many advantages and gives many essential experiences.  
Many activities that are found casual and ordinary are fueled by technology and even
imagining our life without them might be exceedingly hard.

that technology is a big problem in their family

higher levels of usage adds up to significantly less time spent together

these items also have a great impact on one’s everyday life

Everyday life is perhaps the most common use of technology, because – as the name suggests – we
use it in everyday situations.

…all one needs to do is enter his destination…

All it takes to get an antibiotic these days is a visit to a drug store around the corner.

It describes physics laws applying to light, and quantum particles like electrons or photons.

… which also helped scientists come up with theories describing the beginning of mankind.  

Argumentation

Students trying to pursue education completely relinquished books and exchanged them for the
internet.

 Everybody has at least one smartphone and a laptop and cannot live their life without them.

Grammar

Moreover, people tend to be invested in using their electrical devices even in the presence of friends
and family, leading to distraction from spending time together.