A.

Improving Your Sentence Structure

To improve your academic writing skills, you must first understand possible problems with sentence
structure so that you can not only recognize but write effective sentences.

To understand sentences, you must first understand clauses, which make up sentences. A clause is
defined as a group of words containing both a subject and a verb.

Clauses can be independent or dependent.

 An independent clause contains both a subject and a verb and can stand alone as a sentence.
 A dependent clause contains both a subject and a verb, but cannot stand alone as a sentence.
Dependent clauses are introduced by subordinating conjunctions such as because, that, what, while,
who, which, although, if, etc.

Kinds of Sentences

There are three kinds of sentences:

SIMPLE: A simple sentence consists of one main (or independent) clause. To be complete, a simple
sentence must have at least one SUBJECT and one 'verb'.
Example:
The MAN 'went' to the store.
A simple sentence may also have a compound subject and/or a compound verb.
Example:
The MAN and his SON 'went' to the store and 'bought' some milk.

1. COMPOUND: A compound sentence has at least two main (or independent) clauses, connected by
coordinating conjunctions (such as and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet). Each clause has its own subject(s)
and verb(s). The second clause should be separated from the first by a comma in front of the
coordinating conjunction.
Example:
The man went to the store, and the sales clerk sold him some milk.
2. COMPLEX: A complex sentence has one main (or independent) clause and one or more dependent (or
subordinate) clauses.
Example:
When an atom is split, it releases neutrons.

Dependent clauses can function in the sentence as nouns, adjectives or adverbs:

 NOUN CLAUSES function as nouns in the sentence and can be used as subjects, objects, predicate
nominatives, and objects of prepositions.
Example:
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO HIM is his family. (subject) That critic writes THAT AL PURDY IS THE
BEST POET IN CANADA. (object)

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 You are WHAT YOU EAT. (predicate nominative)
She is very suspicious about WHAT HE SAID. (object of preposition about)

 ADJECTIVE CLAUSES start with a relative pronoun( such as who, which, or that) and function as
adjectives.
The pronoun refers to a noun that usually precedes it directly.
Example:
The woman WHO BOUGHT THE RED DRESS is my aunt. That dress, WHICH IS MY FAVOURITE, was
expensive. The problem THAT HE SOLVED was a difficult one.

NOTE: Use commas around the adjective clause to indicate that the information there is not essential
to the sentence, i.e., not needed to identify the subject (see Improving Your Punctuation).
Absence of commas, on the other hand, indicates the information is essential to the sentence.
Example:
The bull that is in the pasture belongs to Joe. (suggests that, of all the other bulls on the farm, the
one in the pasture is being identified as belonging to Joe)

OR

The bull, which is in the pasture, belongs to Joe. (suggests that there is only one bull on the farm, so
the writer is giving non-essential information by mentioning that it is in the pasture)

NOTE: The word THAT is used to introduce an essential clause (without commas), whereas WHICH is
used to introduce a non-essential clause (with commas). Some grammar textbooks suggest WHICH
can be used for either essential or non-essential clauses.
NOTE: A pronoun (such as which, that) must always refer specifically to one noun. The word WHICH is
often used incorrectly.
Example:
NO:
Your essays should be submitted on time, WHICH is one way to be a successful student.
(Vague reference because the word which in this sentence refers to neither time nor essays.)
YES:
One way for you to be successful as a student is to submit your essays on time.

 ADVERB CLAUSES function as adverbs in the sentence, modifying verbs, adjectives, or adverbs. They
may tell how, why, when, where, etc.
Conjunctions used include although, after, if, because, while, since, whether, etc.
Example:
WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE UNIVERSITY, classes had already started.
Stan is happy BECAUSE HE RECEIVED A GOOD GRADE ON HIS HISTORY MIDTERM.
ALTHOUGH BOB IS INTELLIGENT, he doesn’t work very hard.

Problems with Sentences

1. Sentence Fragments

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 A sentence fragment is not a complete sentence. It usually lacks either a subject or a verb, or both, or
contains only a dependent clause.
Example:

For example, three dogs and a goat. (no verb – what did the animals do?)
Studying too hard on weekends. (no subject – who was studying?)
Because I couldn’t find my shoes. (contains a subject and verb, but is a dependent clause)

2. Run-on Sentences: Fused Sentences and Comma Splices

A run-on sentence is one in which two or more independent clauses are inappropriately joined.
Remember that the length of a sentence does not determine whether it is a run-on sentence: a
sentence that is correctly punctuated and correctly joined can be extremely long. Two types of run-
on sentences are fused sentences and sentences with comma splice errors.

 In a fused sentence, clauses run into each other with no punctuation.

Example:
The experiment failed it had been left unobserved for too long.

 A comma splice refers to the error of placing only a comma between two complete sentences, without
a connecting word (such as and, but, or because).
Example:
The experiment failed, it had been left unobserved for too long.

To correct a fused sentence or a comma splice error, you can use either a period, semi-colon, colon,
coordinating conjunction, or subordinating conjunction.
Example:

The experiment failed. It had been left unobserved for too long.
The experiment failed; it had been left unobserved for too long.
The experiment failed: it had been left unobserved for too long.
The experiment had been left unobserved for too long, SO it failed.
The experiment failed BECAUSE it had been left unobserved for too long.

 A comma splice also occurs when commas are used before conjunctive adverbs (therefore, however,
nevertheless, moreover, etc.) connecting two sentences.
Example:
NO:
The experiment had been left unobserved for too long, therefore it failed.
YES:
The experiment had been left unobserved for too long; therefore, it failed.
YES:
He wasn’t prepared to defend a client who was guilty; however, he could be persuaded to accept a
bribe.

NOTE: When the conjunctive adverb is within the clause rather than at the beginning, place it between
commas.

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 Example:
He wasn’t prepared to defend a client who was guilty; he could be persuaded, however, to accept a
bribe.

3. Loose Sentences

 A loose sentence may result if you use too many “and ” connectives when other conjunctions would
convey a more precise meaning.
Example:
John had a weight problem, and he dropped out of school. (what is the most accurate connection:
John had a weight problem so he dropped out of school or because he dropped out of school?)
 A loose sentence also results from weak sentence construction and the inclusion of many phrases
and clauses in no particular order.
Example:
In the event that we get the contract, we must be ready by June 1 with the necessary personnel and
equipment to get the job done, so with this end in mind a staff meeting, which all group managers
are expected to attend, is scheduled for February 12.

NOTE: Writing the previous passage as several sentences would be more effective.

4. Choppy Sentences

A succession of short sentences, without transitions to link them to each other, results in choppy
sentences.
Example:

NO:
Our results were inconsistent. The program obviously contains an error. We need to talk to Paul
Davis. We will ask him to review the program.
YES:
We will ask Paul Davis to review the program because it produced inconsistent results.

5. Excessive Subordination

Excessive subordination is not an effective substitute for choppiness.

Example:

NO:
Doug thought that he was prepared but he failed the examination which meant that he had to repeat
the course before he could graduate which he didn’t want to do because it would conflict with his
summer job.
YES:
Doug thought that he was prepared, but he failed the examination. Therefore, he would have to
repeat the course before he could graduate. He did not want to do that because it would conflict with
his summer job.

6. Parallel Structure

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 Parts of a sentence which are in sequence must all follow the same grammatical or structural
principle.
Example:

NO:
I like to swim, to sail, and rowing.
YES:
I like to swim, to sail, and to row.
YES:
I like swimming, sailing, and rowing.
NO:
This report is an overview of the processes involved, the problems encountered, and how they were
solved.
YES:
This report is an overview of the processes involved, the problems encountered, and the solutions
devised.

B. Improving Your Grammar

By brushing up on a few of the basic grammar rules you may have forgotten, you can remove from
your writing those errors that distract and frustrate the reader.

A. Subject-Verb Agreement
A verb should always agree with its subject

1. SUBJECT and VERB agree even when words come between them.
Example:
The TEACHER, as well as her students, WAS pleased with the results of the test.
The DESIGN with its intricate patterns IS especially clever. The GROUP of students IS meeting now to
discuss the tuition increase.
2. Two or more subjects joined by AND take a plural verb.
Example:
The teacher and the students WERE pleased with the results of the test.
3. Singular subjects joined by OR or NOR take singular verbs; plural subjects joined by OR or NOR take
plural verbs.
Example:
Neither the professor NOR her spouse WAS happy with the salary adjustment.
Neither the students NOR their friends WERE pleased with the tuition increase.
4. When a singular subject and a plural subject are joined by OR or NOR, the verb agrees with the
subject closer to it.
Example:
Neither the professor nor the STUDENTS WERE happy with the results.
Neither the students nor the PROFESSOR WAS happy with the results.
5. Words ending in ONE, THING, or BODY (such as everyone, anyone, anything, nobody, somebody, etc.)
and words (such as each, either, and neither) take singular verbs.

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 Example:
Everyone involved in implementing the company’s new policies and procedures IS here.
6. The agreement of pronouns (such as any, most, all, many, more, some, who, that, and
which) depends on the countable nature of the word or phrase to which the pronoun refers.
Example:
Most of the sugar IS in the cup. (uncountable noun)
Most of the apples ARE ripe. (countable noun)
7. Collective nouns can take singular or plural verbs, depending on whether the sentence is referring to
the group as a unit or as individuals.
Example:
The jury IS announcing its verdict. (as a unit)
The faculty WERE in disagreement over their options. (as individuals)
8. When a sentence begins with THERE or HERE, or when the sentence is in inverted word order, the verb
still agrees with the subject, which follows the verb in these arrangements.
Example:
There ARE several ANSWERS to the problem. There IS one REASON for his anger.
Driving along the highway WERE several tanker TRUCKS.

B. Pronoun-Noun Agreement

1. A pronoun must agree in PERSON (I, he, it, they, etc.) and NUMBER (singular or plural) with the noun
to which it refers. Remember that WHO and WHOM are used to refer to people, and THAT and WHICH
refer to everything else.
Example:
Mr. Smith took HIS work home with HIM.
Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones worked hard on their projects. Neither John nor his parents enjoyed THEIR
afternoon. (The pronoun agrees with the subject closest to it – as with subject-verb agreement with
or and nor [see A.4. in this handout].)
The woman WHO voted for an increase in pay looked happy.
The women WHO voted for an increase in pay looked happy. Each apple was chosen for ITS rosy
appearance.
Everyone must finish HIS or HER work by Friday.
NOTE: Since frequent use of his or her could sound awkward, as in the previous example, it may be
preferable to substitute plurals.
Example:
Students must finish THEIR work by Friday.
2. All pronouns must clearly refer to the noun they replace.
Example:
NO:
Our patients are enjoying the warm days while they last. (does THEY refer to patients or days?)
YES:
While the warm days last, our patients are enjoying them.
3. Do not mix “persons” (i.e., second person “you” with third person “he/she/it”) unless meaning
requires it.
Example:
NO:

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 To improve ONE'S stroke, YOU have to learn the basics.
YES:
To improve ONE'S stroke, ONE has to learn the basics.
YES:
To improve YOUR stroke, YOU have to learn the basics.

C. Placement of Modifiers

Always place modifiers as close as possible to the words they modify.

Confusing:
The supervisor told me they needed someone who could type BADLY.

Better:
The supervisor told me they badly needed someone who could type.

Confusing:
The fish was found by a fisherman FLOATING in the river. (who was floating?)

Better:
The fish was found floating in the river by a fisherman.

Or:
A fisherman found the fish floating in the river.

Confusing:
WEARING HIGH BOOTS, the snake failed to injure the supervisor. (the snake is wearing high boots)

Better:
Wearing high boots, the supervisor was protected from the snake.

Or:
Because the supervisor was wearing high boots, the snake did not injure him.

D. Use of Apostrophes
The apostrophe is used to indicate either a contraction or possession

1. When two words are shortened into one, the apostrophe replaces the missing letter. The rule for
using an apostrophe with a contraction always holds. (example:
IT IS or IT HAS = IT'S; WHO IS or WHO HAS = WHO'S; THEY ARE = THEY'RE; WILL NOT = WON'T [note
change in spelling]; IS NOT = ISN'T, etc.)
2. When showing possession, add APOSTROPHE 'S to the owner word.
Then, if the word ends in a double or triple S, erase the one after the apostrophe and leave the
apostrophe in place.
Example:
one table’s leg OR several tables’ legs

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 one student’s name OR several students’ names one day’s work OR several days’ work
one woman’s job OR several women’s jobs (note the plural form women does not use an S)
one boss’ house OR several bosses’ houses
NOTE: Some grammar textbooks recommend keeping the -s’s or -ss’s ending for words such as the
Jones’s party, boss’s house, class’s work, and congress’s motion for easier pronunciation.
3. The exception to the possessive rule is that pronouns show possession WITHOUT the use of
APOSTROPHE 'S (e.g., my, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, our, ours, their, theirs, its, whose,
etc.). Compare the use of apostrophes here:
That is my book. That book is mine. (no apostrophe for the possessive pronoun mine)
That is Bob’s book. That book is Bob’s. (apostrophe for the possessive noun Bob’s)
Compare contractions versus possessive pronouns here:
They’re hoping to increase their budget.
You’re having trouble with your car.
NOTE: To test whether to use it’s or its in a sentence, read your sentence replacing it’s with IT IS. If IT
IS does not fit, the word you need is ITS. Note that there is no such word as its’ with an apostrophe
following the S.
Example:
It’s almost time to give the cat its medication.
4. Don’t use an apostrophe for plurals of regular nouns.
NOT:
Several students’ went to the meeting.
NOT:
The Smith’s are on vacation.
5. Use an apostrophe for plurals of numerals, letters, and words being named.
Example:
He received mostly A’s on the papers marked by TA’s. All she heard were no’s in response to her
proposal. EXCEPTION: Technology advanced greatly in the 1990s.

C. Improving Your Punctuation

By brushing up on a few basic rules of punctuation, you will be able to rid your writing of mechanical
errors that can seriously affect your grade on an assignment.

Using Commas

Follow this guideline: “When in doubt, leave the comma out.”

1. Use commas to separate items in a series of three or more words, phrases or clauses.
Example:
He bought milk, eggs and cheese.
She woke up, ate breakfast, and brushed her teeth.
NOTE: The final comma before the AND is optional, but may clarify your meaning when the series
contains internal conjunctions (such as AND or OR).
Example:
NO:
Jane decided to study sociology instead of philosophy, chemistry instead of biology and physics and

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 history instead of geography.
YES:
Jane decided to study sociology instead of philosophy, chemistry instead of biology and physics, and
history instead of geography. (a final comma before “and history” clarifies the meaning)
2. Use a comma before a COORDINATING CONJUNCTION (such as and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet) linking
two main clauses when the subject is stated.
Example:
I don’t want to go out, YET you don’t want to stay home. The professor moved to the front of the
room, BUT the students didn’t say a word.
BUT NOT HERE:
The professor moved to the front of the room but did not say a word. (becomes a compound verb for
one subject)
NOTE: The comma before a coordinating conjunction will help to clarify whether you have two items
in a series OR a conjunction joining two clauses.
Example:
NO:
The first vendor was selling ice cream with chocolate chips and worms were available from the
second vendor. (Without the comma, the reader’s first impression is that the ice cream contains
chocolate chips and worms.)
YES:
The first vendor was selling ice cream with chocolate chips, AND worms were available from the
second vendor.
(The comma here signals the reader that a second subject [worms] is being introduced.)
3. Use a comma to set off introductory words, phrases and clauses from main clauses.
Examples:
Samantha, could you please help me?
However, he didn’t believe her for one minute.
Of all the reasons to stay home, that is the most ridiculous.
Tired from working so hard, she decided to go home.
Although she was tired, she decided to keep working.
4. Use a comma (or a pair of commas) to separate from the rest of the sentence any word, phrase, or
clause that is not essential to the sentence’s meaning or that means the same as something else in
the sentence. (Also see the handout Improving Your Sentence Structure, section A.3.b.
Example:
My uncle Fred, who is almost seventy years old, has been sending me presents since I was born.
Lighting a gas barbecue is easy, I think.
The Great Dane, a large and gentle dog, is truly one of man’s best friends.
5. Use a comma between COORDINATE ADJECTIVES (adjectives which each modify the same noun) not
joined by AND.
Example:
YES:
Informative, imaginative writing can sell your ideas.
NOTE: Do not use a comma between the final adjective (imaginative) and the noun (writing).
Example:
NO:
Informative, imaginative, writing can sell your ideas.

9
 NOTE: coordinate adjectives are those that still make sense when you insert the word AND between
the adjectives or when you scramble the order of the adjectives (i.e., you can write informative and
imaginative writing; you can write imaginative, informative writing.)

Misusing Commas

1. Do not use commas between CUMULATIVE ADJECTIVES (adjectives which build upon each other to
modify the noun).
Example:
YES:
The teacher worked on a complex computer program.
NO:
The teacher worked on a complex, computer program. ('computer' modifies program, but 'complex'
modifies computer program, not just program)
NOTE: cumulative adjectives are those that no longer make sense when you insert the word AND
between the adjectives OR when you scramble the order of the adjectives (i.e., complex and computer
program doesn’t make sense; nor does computer, complex program).
2. Do not use a single comma between a subject and its verb.
Example:
NO:
The two English courses that I took, were so basic that I never really learned anything.
YES:
The two English courses that I took were so basic that I never really learned anything.
NO:
The group of nearly twenty members, provides opportunities often not feasible for the independent
teacher.
YES:
The group of nearly twenty members provides opportunities often not feasible for the independent
teacher.
NO:
Finding transportation to these programs without the benefit of public transit, is difficult for those
who may not have learned to read well enough to obtain a driver’s license.
YES:
Finding transportation to these programs without the benefit of public transit is difficult for those
who may not have learned to read well enough to obtain a driver’s license.
NOTE: you may use a PAIR of commas to enclose a nonessential expression between the subject and
verb (see section A.4).
Example:
YES:
The two English courses that I took, English 101 and 102, were so basic that I never really learned
anything.
YES:
The group, which consists of nearly twenty members, provides opportunities often not feasible for
the independent teacher.
3. Do not use a comma between a verb and its object or between a preposition and its object.
Example:

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 NO:
It is even more interesting when you consider, that several species act the same way.
YES:
It is even more interesting when you consider that several species act the same way.
4. Do not use a single comma AFTER a coordinating conjunction (compare section A.2).
Example:
NO: I knew nothing about physics yet, I passed the test easily.
NO: I knew nothing about physics, yet, I passed the test easily.
YES:
I knew nothing about physics, yet I passed the test easily.
NOTE: you may use a PAIR of commas to enclose a non-essential expression after the conjunction
(see section A.4)
Example:
YES:
I knew nothing about physics, yet, thank goodness, I passed the test easily.
5. Do not use a comma after SUCH AS or LIKE.
Example:
NO:
We grow many types of fruit trees such as, cherry, apple, orange and banana.
YES:
We grow many types of fruit trees such as cherry, apple, orange and banana.
6. Do not use a comma before a parenthesis.
Example:
NO:
Mr. Sykes went to see her, (after school) but she was not there.
NO:
Mr. Sykes went to see her, (after school), but she was not there.
YES:
Mr. Sykes went to see her (after school), but she was not there.

Using Semi-colons

1. Use a semi-colon between main (independent) clauses that are closely related in meaning and are not
joined by a coordinating conjunction.
Example:
Mary wishes to major in English literature; her identical twin wishes to major in philosophy.
2. Use a semi-colon to separate main clauses joined by conjunctive adverbs (such as however,
therefore, moreover, nevertheless, then, thus).
Example:
Ernest Hemingway was a master of style; however, opinions about his work vary widely.
NOTE: The semi-colon remains between the two clauses, even when the conjunctive adverb is moved.
Example:
Ernest Hemingway was a master of style; opinions about his work, however, vary widely.
Ernest Hemingway was a master of style; opinions about his work vary widely, however.
3. Use semi-colons to separate phrases or clauses in a SERIES if the items are long or contain internal
punctuation.

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 Example:
We can help clean up the environment if we avoid littering, polluting, and using throwaway
containers; protest against dangers to the environment by writing to those in authority, publicising
information, joining groups, and campaigning; plant trees and gardens; and protect endangered
species.
Harry went on a trip with Fred, his uncle; Susan, his sister; Biff, his dog; and his mother. (Remember
to use a semi-colon before the final AND)

Using Colons

1. Use a colon following an independent clause (i.e., a complete sentence) to introduce a series or a
quotation.
Example:
NO:
The options in the course catalogue are: a major, a major-minor, and a double major.
YES:
The course catalogue offers several options: a major, a major-minor, and a double major.
YES:
The options in the course catalogue are a major, a major-minor, and a double major.
NO:
Hamlet says: “To be or not to be . . .”
YES:
Hamlet reveals his doubt and confusion: “To be or not to be . . .”
YES:
Hamlet says, “To be or not to be . . .”
2. Use a colon following an independent clause to introduce a second main clause that explains the
first.
Example:
His intention is clear: he plans to get all A’s in his courses.

Using Other Punctuation

 DASHES are used to emphasize part of a sentence and indicate a break – whether it’s necessary or not
– in tone or thought. Type two hyphens with no space before, after, or between, or use your
wordprocessor’s “em-dash”
 PARENTHESES separate incidental information (information you do not need) from the rest of the
sentence
 SQUARE BRACKETS are used to enclose your own comments to “explain, clarify, or correct his [the
writer’s] words” within a quotation
 QUOTATION MARKS are used to enclose direct words of a speaker or exact words from a book or
article. Remember that end punctuation, “including commas and periods,” goes “inside the quotation
marks”; semi-colons and colons go outside

D. Improving Your Style

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 Once you have learned to rid your writing of errors in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure,
continue to improve your writing by considering the more elusive problems with style. Start by taking
these steps to a clearer writing style.

1. Choose an Appropriate Tone

The level of formality depends on the kind of assignment, the reader, and the purpose.

Informal tone is personal, simple, and direct. Active voice is used more frequently than is passive
voice (see #2). Sentences may be somewhat shorter. Personal pronouns (I, we) may be used. This
style is used in more casual writing assignments, journal entries, and class work which is designated
as informal. Remember, however, that writing informally does not necessarily mean you should use
slang, colloquialisms, and contractions.

Formal tone is impersonal, with more frequent use of the passive voice, a fairly learned vocabulary,
and longer sentences, and with avoidance of personal pronouns. This style is used for academic
articles and essays. Remember, however, that writing formally does not mean that you should use
unnecessary jargon, clumsy structures, awkward vocabulary, excessive verbiage, or pompous phrases
such as 'this author believes' in order to avoid using I or we, or that you should overuse the passive
voice.

Examples:
Formal:
Research has shown an interesting connection between vitamin A and cancer, but the exact nature of
the connection has not been conclusively determined.

Informal:
Researchers believe there may be a link between vitamin A and cancer, but they do not know exactly
what it is yet.

Whatever tone you use, always be clear, direct, and comprehensible.

2. Avoid Using the Passive Voice Unless Absolutely Necessary

 In a sentence written in the active voice, an actor acts upon a receiver (e.g., "The dog bit the man").
 In a sentence written in the passive voice, the receiver is being acted upon by an actor (e.g., "The man
was bitten by the dog").

Use the wordier passive structure only when the identity of the "actor" is unknown or is less
important than the receiver or the act itself.
Examples:

Passive:
All beef has been marked down by the butcher. (if the beef is the most important idea)

Active:
The butcher has marked down all the beef. (if the butcher is the most important idea)

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 Passive:
The water was boiled for ten minutes. (actor is unidentified – boiled by whom?)

Active:
I boiled the water for ten minutes. (actor is identified – "I ")

Awkward passive:
It is recommended that this experiment be tested for its effectiveness. (recommended by whom?
tested by whom?)

Better (still passive):

The effectiveness of this experiment should be tested. (but tested by whom?)

Better (active):
We should test the effectiveness of this experiment.

3. Be Simple and Concise in Your Writing

 Choose a short word instead of a long one when the meaning is the same, and avoid jargon.
 Cut out unnecessary words. Use the simple word about instead of vague wordy expressions such as
in reference to, regarding, with regard to, or relating to the subject matter of. Use the word because
instead of due to the fact that, in view of the fact that, or owing to the fact that.
 Avoid starting a sentence with empty passive phrases such as it should be noted that, it is
recommended that, or it was found that.
Example:

Wordy
Poor living accommodations give promise of incrementing the negative side of the morale balance so
far as new personnel are concerned.
Since I left my textbook at home, I will share. (“because” would be a better choice)
As I got out of bed, I heard the sound of gunfire. (meaning is clear)
As he is the professor, we should listen to him. (“because” would be a better choice)
As I ate, I studied my notes. (“while” would be a better choice)
While I agree with him in principle, I don’t see how his ideas could work. (“although” would be a
better choice)

Better
Poor living accommodations lower the morale of new personnel.

Wordy
It is expected by management that great progress will be made by personnel in providing a solution
to these problems in the near future.

Better
Management expects that personnel will soon solve these problems.

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 4. Be Precise in Your Writing

 Avoid cliches and overused words or expressions.

 Don’t use vague words such as case unless referring to a case of canned goods or a case of malaria.
(Also avoid factor, situation, position, and aspect.)
 Avoid words or expressions that are ambiguous. Be clear in your use of the words: as, since, because,
while, and when. It is best to use 'while' or 'when' INSTEAD of the word 'as' to indicate relationships in
time, and because instead of 'as' to indicate relationships of cause and effect.
Example:
Since I arrived, I have seen three new species. (meaning is clear)
Since I left my textbook at home, I will share. ("because" would be a better choice)
As I got out of bed, I heard the sound of gunfire. (meaning is clear)
As he is the professor, we should listen to him. ("because" would be a better choice)
As I ate, I studied my notes. ("while" would be a better choice)
While I agree with him in principle, I don't see how his ideas could work. ("although" would be a
better choice)

NOTE: You CAN start a sentence with the word, because, as long as you include the independent
clause to complete the sentence (see Improving Your Sentence Structure). A simple sentence would
be a sentence fragment if it started with because (e.g., Because he needed further information.) You
can start a complex sentence with because as long as you complete the sentence (e.g., Because he
needed further information, he phoned the head office.)

5. Pronoun this or that

Avoid starting a sentence with the pronoun, this or that, unless it is followed by a noun or refers
clearly and directly to a noun in the previous sentence.

These pronouns should NOT be used to refer to the concept of the entire sentence (or paragraph, or
essay) preceding it.
Example:
A scientist’s work has no value unless he shares his thoughts with the scientific community. That is
the cornerstone of science. (What is 'that'? Try “That communication . . .”)

6. Avoid the Use of 'there is' or 'there are' to Begin a Sentence

Example:
After you complete these programs, there are many leagues available for you to join.
OR:
After you complete these programs, you can join one of the many leagues available.

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