Purgatory Opening scene – initially in the style of a television advert

White wash fills the stage and shocks characters to attention

SOUND TRACK 1 STARTS

Voice: Are you struggling to find work? Application after application without
response? Are you good at making decisions? Do you know the difference
between good and bad? Can you operate an elevator? Then come and join us
today! We have two vacancies at our middle floor office where you, yes you, will
be put in a position of responsibility beyond your wildest imagination. We can
offer free accommodation and comfortable seating as well as exciting
opportunities to move upwards (or downwards) in your career. So don’t delay, fill out
this application form today (application form drops or flies towards them) to take yourself
out of this horrible climate (and earthly body) and towards your new career.
SOUND TRACK 1 ENDS

CHEESY ADVERTISING ,USIC CUTS AND LIGHTS FGO UP ON RED SIDE OF STAGE

Alex: I reeeeeealy need to cut back on the red bull. I mean… What the heck just
happened?!? (reads paper) I guess this will get mom off my back about getting a job
though (starts to fill in paper)

LIGHTS SWITCH TO OTHER SIDE OF STAGE

Ingrid: Well… the nice chair sounds lovely, and I might make a friend or two at
work, maybe even find my true love! Oh plus it will give me an opportunity to
wear my favourite outfit!! I’m applying (starts to fill in paper) (blackout)

STAGE GOES DARK – VOICEOVER PLAYS IN DARKNESS

SOUND TRACK 2 STARTS
Voiceover – Congratulaaaaaations both of you and welcome to your first day on
the job! To get here you beat over 3 applicants, and although two of them
withdrew and the other seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with Star Wars
that we found out about late on, we would definitely have chosen you anyway!
There are two seats available. They are equally comfortable and largely require
the same work, even if your line managers are a little bit different. You will spend
the day being trained and will start the real work tomorrow!
SOUND TRACK 2 ENDS

LIGHTS COME UP ON WHOLE STAGE– THERE IS A TABLE DSC WITH PAPER ON

IT AND A CHAIR SR AND ONE SL, THE CHARACTERS STAND CS.

Alex – Hey, are you here for the job too?

Ingrid – (Excited, sensing a possible friend,maybe even a lover) Yes! I’m Evie, what’s your
name?

Alex – Jeez, you’re exciteable. I’m Adam. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really read the
application, what do we do here? Also how did you get here because I feel like I
was in an Uber and everything went dark and that voice started…

Ingrid – You heard the voice too?!?! I thought it was just me! I got on the tube at
Turnham Green and two stops later I was here… It’s all very exciting isn’t it! With
the darkness and the voice and now this table… So are you single? I mean I’m not
asking for me I just wondered because like…

Alex – Ok Shut up a minute please you’re making my head hurt.

(She is evidently hurt, but not defeated)

Alex – There is an envelope on the table… (he lifts it, she ‘accidentally places her hand on his, he
stares)…

Ingrid – Sorry (she isn’t)

Alex – Welcome to your first day in purgatory…yada yada yadaNo longer on

earth as we know it… mmhmm yep … 100 year contract… yada yada yada… two
breaks per day in 24 hour shifts 7 days per week… blab la bla…. OHHHHHH!

Ingrid – What?!?!?!

Alex (With an incredible level of excitement) – The Croissants in the canteen are
complimentary on Tuesdays!!!!

Ingrid – Yes but what did you say in the middle?

Alex – Yada Yada Yada?

Ingrid (Grabs paper violently in a panic) – We’re stuck in this job… in the space between
heaven and hell but not on earth, for 100 years, working all day every day with
only two short breaks?!?! How are you not panicking?

Alex - (Composes himself preparing to act, feigning panic with poor quality) – ahhhhhh, oh
noooooooo, this is awfulll. Ah screw it. Which chair do you want?

Ingrid – You’re just accepting this? I mean can’t you see how craz…

Alex – yep (Moves off stage)

BLACKOUT

LIGHT TURN ON, (when someone clicks) FLAV WALKS ACROSS FRONT STAGE
WITH 1 YEAR LATER
ALEX AND INGRID ENTER FROM DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE STAGE

Alex (holding a croissant in each hand and with a half eaten croissant in his mouth) – I love
Tuesdays!

THEY SEE ELLI’S ‘BODY’ DSC. THEY STOP, LOOK AT EACH OTHER, LOOK BACK
AT THE BODY, LOOK AT EACH OTHER AGAIN, AND EACH RUSH TO LEAVE.

SCENE 2 PROGRESSES AS REHEARSED.