VI. Clarity in Writing: Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, Proposition 4.116

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VI.

Clarity in writing

"Everything that can be thought at all can be thought clearly. Everything that can be said can be said
clearly."

Ludwig Wittgenstein
Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, proposition 4.116

Consider how the following two paragraphs differ: one is clear and to the point. The other is trying to
convey the same concept, but the meaning is obscured by use of jargon and sloppy sentence construction.
Note also that the first paragraph contains three simple sentences, while the second is one long one.

There are several very good reasons why the farmer, busy man as he is, should keep proper records of
his business. It is the only way in which he can find out how much profit he has made, and how one
year's profit compares with another. It helps him to manage his farm efficiently, and shows him how
the various operations compare in outlay and in receipts.

There is a need for flexible resource allocation procedures to allow updating of investment decisions
(capital and revenue) so that at any given point in time of the planning design process an optimum
investment decision can be made rather than one which may have been valid at the inception of
planning but has become progressively non-optimal.

From The Complete Plain Words by Sir Ernest Gowers

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Goals: clear, simple, concise, action-oriented writing

In order to achieve the goals of clarity, simplicity and conciseness, W. H. Hindle (A Guide to Writing for the
United Nations, pp. 10-12) and Joseph Williams (Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace) recommend the
following rules:

Seven simple rules for clear writing

1. State a fact or an idea directly.


2. Use concrete rather than abstract words.
3. Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.
4. Use the active voice rather than the passive voice. The active voice is action-oriented.
5. Avoid wordy sentences.
6. Use appropriate language.
7. Use verbs rather than nouns. Verbs are dynamic and action-oriented.

We will now look at each of these rules in turn. Keep in mind that these separate rules all ultimately lead
to the same goal: clear, concise, accurate writing.

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Rule 1. State a fact or an idea directly.

Use the simplest and fewest words possible to express an idea

With respect to the question of pets, Mary exercised rights of ownership over a certain juvenile member of the
sheep family.
Mary had a little lamb.

Having enjoyed a social occasion and bonded with your friends by sharing large amounts of alcohol, it is advisable
to call a taxi to take you home.
Don’t drink and drive.

Use the affirmative

Except when applicants have failed to submit applications with the required documentation, benefits will not be
denied.
You will receive benefits only if you submit your documents.

He was not very often on time.


He usually came late.

Apply this rule in exercise 17.

[Click here for exercise 17]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 17

Rewrite the following sentences and paragraphs to make them simpler and more direct:

1. It is anticipated that the preliminary results of the study could be available to report to the Commission
at its twenty-fourth session.

2. The optimal period of the year to take an extended absence from the office is during the warmer months
of June to August.

3. The Committee decided not to allow the use of cellular telephones during its meetings.

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Rule 2. Use definite and specific words or phrases rather than abstract ones.

When not obscured by low clouds and smog, it is possible to perceive details of the landscape over a great distance.
On a clear day, you can see for miles.

The climate in England is frequently characterized by persistent precipitation.


It rains a lot in England.

[Click here for exercise 18]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 18

Rewrite the following sentences replacing abstract words and phrases with concrete ones:

1. Isabel made a lot of very loud noise and the man with a knife disappeared into the darkness.

2. After many hours of discussions and argument, the members of the Council eventually harmonized
their different points of view and therefore were able to agree on a proposed text.

3. Among the scientific academic community, there are many people who are convinced of the idea that
the emission of chemicals is a source of harmful warming of the atmosphere.

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Rule 3. Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.

Look at these examples:

There is, however, a danger inherent in excessive committee activity in that it can be time-consuming and
unproductive. Therefore, it has to be emphasized that, while formal discussions have a necessary role, normal
working contacts cannot be replaced by such discussions.
Formal meetings are sometimes necessary but they should not be held too often and should not replace
normal communication among colleagues.

A reduction of resources available to the environmental programme has caused delays in the implementation of
the work programme.
The environmental work programme has been delayed because of a lack of resources.

Try using shorter words and shortening the sentences in exercise 19.

[Click here for exercise 19]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 19

Rewrite the following sentences replacing long words with shorter ones and using shorter
sentences:

1. New York is a huge and bustling metropolis, where the General Assembly of the United Nations is
attended by important personages every year who spend several months debating important issues.

2. The air passenger transportation industry has suffered a number of serious setbacks in the form of
highly priced petroleum and the need to put in place various additional security screening and prevention
procedures, and has therefore once more increased the price of a ticket.

3. Everyday the children are hit by new trials and tribulations, as their bodies suffer the ravages of
malnutrition, with dirty water spreading terrible sickness among them like wildfire and the daily violence
and fear of death and destruction from the militias.

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Rule 4. Use the active voice rather than the passive voice; the active voice is
action-oriented.

This rule is illustrated in the following sentences:

Passive voice: A statement was made by the representative of France.


Active voice: The representative of France made a statement.

Passive voice: The candidates were interviewed on 13 February by a panel of four staff members.
Active voice: A panel of four staff members interviewed the candidates on 13 February.

Note that sometimes the passive voice is useful or even necessary. You might prefer to keep your sentence
less forceful or you might not wish to identify the subject of the sentence directly. Look at the following
examples:

The president was rumoured to have considered resigning.

We don’t know who is starting these rumours.

Confidential documents should be kept in a locked file drawer.

This is a general instruction, rather than one directed at a specific person, such as "Sally, you must keep
confidential documents in a locked drawer".

The safety inspection was not monitored; therefore, the mechanism was left unaligned and the driver
was killed.

We might not want to say who was supposed to monitor the inspection.

We must decide whether to focus on improving education in the sciences alone or across the
curriculum. The weight given to two factors, industrial competitiveness and the value we attach to
the liberal arts, will influence this decision.

In this example, putting the subject into the passive case at the beginning will make the sentence more
forceful and easier to understand, as in the revised text below.

We must decide whether to focus on improving education in the sciences alone or across the
curriculum. This decision will be influenced by the weight given to two factors: industrial
competitiveness and the value we attach to the liberal arts.

Exercise 20 gives you a chance to practise [TIP] how to use the active rather than the passive voice.

[Click here for exercise 20]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 20

Practise how to use the active rather than the passive voice:

1. The proposal was approved by the Committee last week.

2. The decision to increase working hours was found to be unacceptable by the staff.

3. Staff were encouraged by the Executive Director to take advantage of the many staff development
programmes that were being offered by the Human Resources Management Service.

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Rule 5. Avoid wordy sentences.

Delete meaningless words.

Productivity actually depends on certain factors that basically involve psychology more than any particular
technology.
Productivity involves psychology more than technology.

Eliminate redundancies and unnecessary repetition of ideas.

The doctor still hasn’t given a diagnosis yet.


The doctor hasn’t given a diagnosis yet.

Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation centre working as a therapist.


Daniel now works as a therapist at a private rehabilitation centre.

Avoid beginning sentences with "it" and "there".

There was a discussion of the health care system by the politicians.


The politicians discussed the health-care system.

Note that like "there is" and "there are", some formulaic phrases can be useful in calling attention to a word
or phrase. We use phrases such as "with regard to", "as far as", "where X is concerned", "in the matter of"
and "speaking of" to announce that we are moving to a new idea about something that has already been
mentioned.

There is another reason why the South entered into the Civil War: the issue of states’ rights. [that is, in
addition to the ideas already discussed]

Avoid formulaic phrases.

High divorce rates have been observed to occur in areas that have been determined to have low population
density.
High divorce rates occur in areas with low population density.

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Replace formulaic phrases with words when possible.

We will file the appropriate papers in the event that we are unable to meet the deadline.
We will file the appropriate papers if we are unable to meet the deadline.

Note that like "there is" and "there are", some formulaic phrases can be useful in calling attention to a word
or phrase. We use phrases such as "with regard to", "as far as", "where X is concerned", "in the matter of"
and "speaking of" to announce that we are moving to a new idea about something that has already been
mentioned.

As far as the tourism industry in Liberia is concerned, it will take decades to equal that of South Africa.

Use hedges ("some", "may", "suggests") and intensifiers ("all", "any") sparingly.

The example in the sentence below is not very persuasive:

There seems to be some evidence that may suggest that certain differences between Eastern and
Western rhetoric could derive from historical influences traceable to the country’s long cultural
isolation and Europe’s equally long intercultural interactions.

However, the example below is too direct:

This evidence proves that Eastern and Western rhetoric differ because of the country’s long cultural
isolation and Europe’s equally long intercultural interactions.

The example in the sentence below is a happy compromise:

This evidence suggests that aspects of Eastern and Western rhetoric differ because of the region’s long
cultural isolation and Europe’s equally long intercultural interactions.

The sentence below sounds too aggressive because of the use of intensifiers and the lack of hedges:

For a century now, liberals have argued against any censorship of art and all courts have found their
arguments so persuasive that no one remembers how they were countered. As a result, today,
censorship is unquestionably a thing of the past.

The sentence below is more moderate and more acceptable to most readers:

For about a century, many liberals have argued against censorship of art and most courts have found
their arguments persuasive enough that few people may remember exactly how they were countered.
As a result, today, censorship is virtually a thing of the past.

Note, however, that some of the words in the sentence above fall into the category "meaningless words".
Use them sparingly!

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Combine, condense and reduce clauses and phrases.

The Dag Hammarskjöld Library contains many rare books. The books in the Library are carefully preserved, and
the Library also houses a manuscript collection.
The Dag Hammarskjöld Library carefully preserves many rare books and manuscripts.

His mother was a woman who knew exactly what she wanted.
His mother knew exactly what she wanted.

Exercise 21 is a chance to look carefully at some sentences and take out unnecessary words and in exercise
22 simply find a shorter way to say the same thing. Exercise 23 gives you a chance to think of simpler ways
to express formulaic sayings.

[Click here for exercises 21 , 22 and 23]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 21

Shorten the following sentences by eliminating unnecessary words:

1. Any specific decision that the committee makes will be acceptable.


2. To all intents and purposes, the American education system lacks clear objectives and goals.
3. Without some sort of additional aid, the country will be unable to achieve its desired goal of
freeing itself once and for all from its oppressors.
4. Any person or persons who have an interest in the position should write to the address above.
5. There was a decision taken by the committee members last week to postpone the debate.
6. The general consensus is that action needs to be taken with a view to further advancing the
progress that has already been made in the area of the empowerment of women.
7. In the event that the situation proves to be too excessively difficult to be handled by the existing
numbers of troops, their numbers will be increased.

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 22

Below is a list of common redundancies in English. What would be a more direct way to say
the same thing?

REDUNDANCY SUBSTITUTION
an honour and a privilege
any and all
absolutely essential
continue on
basic essentials
close proximity
first priority
combine into one
current status
equally as well
final outcome
goals and objectives
joined together
one and the same
point in time
personal opinion
first and foremost
repeat again
refer back to
true facts
this particular instance
take action
by means of
adding together
small in size
past history
necessary requisite
as a general rule
actual experience
range all the way from

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 23

Suggest a more concise way to express these formulaic expressions

FORMULAIC CONCISE
at the present time
at this point in time
because of the fact that
due to the fact that
for the reason that
prior to, in anticipation of
subsequent to, following on
at the same time as
simultaneously with
along the lines of
by means of
for the purpose of
are of the opinion that
have the ability to
in spite of the fact that
despite the fact that
notwithstanding the fact that
as regards
with regard to
concerning the matter of
last but not least
in the event that
until such time as

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Rule 6. Use appropriate language.

Use familiar words and avoid jargon (specialized language) when possible.

For years the indigenous body politic of the country attempted to negotiate legal enfranchisement without a
result.
For years the native population of the country negotiated in vain for the right to vote.

The mayor will commence his term of office by ameliorating living conditions in economically deprived zones.
The mayor will begin his term of office by improving living conditions in poor neighbourhoods.

Avoid pretentious language, euphemisms and clichés.

When our progenitors reach their silver-haired and golden years, we frequently ensepulchre them in homes for
senescent beings.
When our parents get old, we frequently put them in old-age homes.

When a female of the species ascertains that a male with whom she is acquainted exhibits considerable desire to
extend their acquaintance, that female customarily will first engage in protracted discussion with her close
confidantes.
When a woman realizes that a man is attracted to her, she usually confides in her close friends.

Avoid slang and informal language.

The President’s attempt to liberate the hostages was not a very cool move.

The President’s attempt to free the hostages was not a wise move.

In exercise 24, consider what words might be more appropriate than those given in the table.

[Click here for exercise 24]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 24

What simple and more direct word could be used instead of the ones in the table below?

ameliorate
commence
components
endeavour
exit
facilitate
indicator
initiate
optimal
practically
primary
proceed

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Rule 7. Use verbs rather than nouns; verbs are dynamic and action-oriented.

Consider how in the following pairs of sentences, the second sentence is better than the first.

World trade continued its expansion.


World trade continued to expand.

The cause of our educational system’s failure at teaching basic skills to children is not understanding the
influence of their cultural background on learning.
Our educational system has failed to teach children basic skills because we do not understand how
their cultural background influences the way they learn.

The two sentences above differ in how they use characters and actions. Read the sentences below and
notice the differences in the way the characters and actions are expressed.

This sentence has characters but not a lot of action:

Once upon a time, there was Little Red Riding Hood, Grandma, the Woodsman and the Wolf. The end.

This sentence has action but no characters:

Once upon a time, a walk through the woods happened when a jump from behind a tree caused a
fright.

What is the problem with the sentence below?

Once upon a time, a walk through the woods by Little Red Riding Hood to Grandma’s house was
occurring when the Wolf’s jump out from behind a tree caused fright in her.

Why is the sentence below so much better?

Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods to Grandma’s house when
the Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and frightened her.

The last sentence is better because the characters are expressed as nouns and the actions are expressed as
active verbs, and the main characters are the subjects of the two clauses (Little Red Riding Hood and the
Wolf).

Read the two sentences below and make the same comparisons. Which sentence is clearer?

The Federalists’ argument that the destabilization of government was a consequence of popular democracy was
based on their belief in the tendency of factions to further their self-interest at the expense of the common good.
The Federalists argued that popular democracy destabilized government because factions tended to
further their self-interest at the expense of the common good.

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In the second sentence, all of the subjects are characters and all of the specific actions are verbs. But in the
first sentence, the subjects are abstractions and two of the verbs have little meaning (was, was based). The
important actions are expressed not in verbs but in nouns (destabilization, belief, tendency).

Avoid nominalizations (forming a noun from a verb or adjective).

Using too many abstract nouns can confuse the reader.

Readers generally feel less confused when:

1. You use subjects to name central characters.


2. You express the characters’ most important actions as verbs.

Verb Nominalization Adjective Nominalization


discover discovery careless carelessness
resist resistance different differences
react reaction proficient proficiency

Notice the differences between the following two sentences:

Our request is that on your return you do a review of the data.


We request that, when you return, you review the data.

Actions can often be expressed as adjectives following the verb "to be". This can also confuse the reader.

I am recommending that you resign from the position of chairman immediately.


I recommend that you resign from the position of chairman immediately.

Verb Adjective Verb Adjective


apply applicable deserve deserving of
fear fearful of hope hopeful of
reflect reflective of represent representative of
doubt dubious suggest suggestive of

Apply rule 7 in exercise 25.

[Click here for exercise 25]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 25

Try to make the following sentences more dynamic and interesting by replacing nouns and
adjectives with verbs.

1. The data are showing an upward trend.

2. I am dubious that what you say is true.

3. The tragedy of drug abuse and crime is found in the destruction of the lives of so many people who
would otherwise be contributors to society.

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
The rules revisited

Now look back over the seven rules and try to apply them in exercises 26, 27 and 28.

1. State a fact or an idea directly.


2. Use concrete rather than abstract words.
3. Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.
4. Use the active voice rather than the passive voice. The active voice is action-oriented.
5. Avoid wordy sentences.
6. Use appropriate language.
7. Use verbs rather than nouns. Verbs are dynamic and action-oriented.

[Click here for exercises 26, 27 and 28]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 26

Rewrite the sentences below to make them clearer, making any necessary changes. (You
may wish or need to change some of the wording.)

1. Independence is gained by those on welfare when skills that are valued by the marketplace are taught.

2. When fewer goods are made available to consumers, those goods that are most needed are hoarded.

3. Before Mr. B was elected President, people attacked him as a bleeding heart liberal.

4. In this article, it is argued that the Civil War was fought not to end slavery in the United States, but so
that the Union would not be divided.

5. It was felt that further discussion was needed in order for the matter to be clarified.

6. In Colombia, the State often first appears to forgotten rural citizens in the form of armoured helicopters
and crop dusters.

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 27

Shorten and otherwise improve the following sentences:

1. Beyond the immediate issue of agricultural subsidies, it is my strong view that France and the United
Kingdom should be encouraged to continue on the path of dialogue.

2. My suggestion is that our discussion of the issue be done in the immediate future.

3. There is public opposition to nuclear power plants near population centres because of a widespread
belief in their threat to human health.

4. An important part is putting in place appropriate institutional infrastructure for capacity-building,


investment promotion and in bringing about qualitative improvements in the manufactured goods.

5. Several joint activities were identified, including the following: The development of joint training
activities and awareness raising on the nature and role of organized crime and its impact in a variety of
illicit markets, including the illicit trafficking of protected species of wild flora and fauna.

6. With help from UNIDO on food safety measure (absence of quality central labs for standards
specification), Uganda restored the export market for fish products to Europe.

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 28

Apply the seven rules in the following sentences:

1. Included among an extensive range of far-reaching ideas, the Secretary-General has put forward a
proposal to expand the use of outsourcing for various non-core activities within the Secretariat.

2. Heavy demands have been placed on the Section in recent years as a result of a constantly growing
workload which seems to increase steadily. The growth in the workload has resulted primarily from
quantitative factors to do with numbers. With regard to the quantitative factors, it may be recalled that
about three years ago only three of the five treaty bodies now being serviced by the Section were in
existence.

3. Some services were provided for the planning of the project concerned and other services were provided
for the implementation of the project. In addition, some advisory services were concerned with the follow-
up activities related to the completed projects.

4. Reporting to intergovernmental bodies should be done biennially instead of annually in view of the fact
that changes in this field occur slowly rather than rapidly and therefore would be better reflected through
a two-year reporting cycle.

5. During the 1980 census decade, technical cooperation activities were carried out in the following four
major areas: the provision of technical advisory services through country, regional or interregional
advisers; the provision of training through workshops, fellowships and study tours; the provision of funds
for the purchase of equipment; and the provision of funds for selected local costs.

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Parallel structure

If two or more ideas are parallel, they are easier to grasp if expressed in parallel grammatical forms: noun
phrases with noun phrases; adjective clauses with adjective clauses; infinitives with infinitives and so on.
In addition to making ideas clearer to the reader, parallelism can create emphasis. If the two sides of an
idea are expressed differently, the contrast is more difficult to grasp.

Look at the examples below.

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is
the equal sharing of miseries.
Winston Churchill
Suppose Churchill had said this instead:
In a capitalist society, people do not share blessings equally; the inherent virtue of socialism is the
equal sharing of miseries.

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current.
Thomas Jefferson
Imagine this instead:

When it comes to matters of principle, you should stand like a rock but swim with the current in
matters of taste.

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
Dorothy Parker
And this:

This book is not to be tossed lightly aside; you should hurl it with great force.

It's not the men in my life that count; it's the life in my men.
Mae West
And finally:

It's not the men in my life that count; it's whether my men have any life in them.

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All of the rewritten sentences above are grammatically correct and retain the meaning of the original, but
they have less impact on the reader.

Parallelism is also important when giving a list of ideas or recommendations in subparagraphs. Keep to
the same construction in each subparagraph. For example, consider the following:

In his address to the staff, the Secretary-General stated:

(a) His intention to study the possibility of out-sourcing of certain non-core


administrative functions;
(b) That he would recommend to Member States that a buyout be offered to
certain staff members;
(c) New technology was an important aspect of improving efficiency.

Based on the principle of parallelism, the above text would be amended as shown below.

In his address to the staff, the Secretary-General stated his intention:

(a) To study the possibility of out-sourcing of certain non-core administrative


functions;
(b) To recommend to Member States that a buyout be offered to certain staff
members;
(c) To introduce new technology as part of efforts to improve efficiency.

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Examples

Below you will find examples of sentences with faulty parallelism and the revised versions of those
sentences.

I am working to improve the functioning and I am working to improve functioning and


effectiveness of the country's key governing effectiveness of the country's key governing
institutions and ensure that they can depend on institutions and to ensure that they can depend on
more reliable funding arrangements. more reliable funding arrangements.

The French, the Italians, Portuguese and Spanish The French, the Italians, the Portuguese and the
Spanish
or
The French, Italians, Portuguese and Spanish

It was both a long ceremony and very tedious. The ceremony was both long and tedious.

A time not for words, but action. A time not for words, but for action.

My income is smaller than my wife. My income is smaller than my wife's.

Let me know the time and where we can meet. Let me know the time and place we can meet.
or
Let me know when and where we can meet.

Correct the faulty parallelism in exercise 29.

[Click here for exercise 29]

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Exercise 29

Correct the faulty parallelisms in the sentences below.

1. The shape of the rock, how big it was and its colour reminded me of a small elephant.

2. Your job consists of arranging the books, cataloguing new arrivals and the pamphlets have to be
alphabetized.

3. I object to the injustice of the measure and because it is unconstitutional.

4. One might have thought that the management has been addressing this issue over the last 10 years by
offering buyouts, earmarking posts for retrenchment and, most recently, the formulation of the reform
package.

5. The mission report focused on several promising developments: the ceasefire had held, both parties had
continued to exercise restraint and a strong need for peace was felt among the population.

6. The Director told the staff to collect material, prepare it for analysis and that they should send it the
Office of Institutional Research.

7. This department would prefer to carry out the study itself rather than being a source of information.

8. Five of the applicants were approved while rejections were made in the three other cases.

9. The section priorities for the following quarter include the preparation of the monthly status report,
following up on items referred back by the Division and to compile a summary of inter-agency
developments.

10. The discussion focused more on how to reconcile the differences between the two leaders rather than
on coming to a formal settlement of the conflict.

11. Additional support is crucial in consolidating progress made in the area of conflict resolution and to
maintain the momentum gained since the inception of the Field Offices Secretariat.

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Misplaced ("dangling") modifiers

Modifiers (words that modify other words) should point clearly to the words they modify. If they are
placed too far from those words, the reader may be confused. Often, the sentence might mean something
quite different from what the author intended.

Lasers only destroy the target, leaving the surrounding tissue intact.
Lasers destroy only the target, leaving the surrounding tissue intact.

[Destroying targets is not the only thing that lasers do; they also can be used for lights.]

All teachers are not perfect.


Not all teachers are perfect.

[In the first sentence, there are no perfect teachers; in the second some are perfect and some are not.]

There are many pictures of comedians who have performed at Gavin's on the walls.
On the walls are many pictures of comedians who have performed at Gavin's.

[The pictures are on the walls, not the comedians.]

I always almost finish the work on time.


I almost always finish the work on time.

[In the first sentence, I never finish the work on time, but I always almost do; in the second, most of the
time I finish the work on time.]

As a teenager, my grandmother was always open to talking to me.


When I was a teenager, I could always go to my grandmother to talk.

[Who is the teenager?]

Now correct the dangling modifiers in exercise 30.

[Click here for exercise 30]

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Exercise 30

Rewrite the sentences below, correcting any misplaced ("dangling") modifiers.


Think about what the sentence really means.

1. The king returned to the clinic where he had undergone heart surgery in 1992 in a limousine sent by the
White House.

2. Scratching their bellies and swinging by their tails, the visitors watched the playful apes.

3. She gracefully descended the stairs and approached her husband wearing an elegant evening gown.

4. Having recovered from his illness, his mother took him to the circus.

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Reported speech

Many writers find it difficult to produce an account of a meeting without some errors of tense because of
the need to use reported speech.

Indirect or reported speech conveys a report of something that was said or written rather than the exact
words that were spoken or written. It is used in many United Nations documents, including summary
records and reports on the proceedings of intergovernmental bodies. Indirect speech is not enclosed in
quotation marks.

When converting direct (quoted) speech to indirect (reported) speech, several changes must be made. First,
it is necessary to add a principal (reporting) clause that contains a verb of saying, thinking or reporting in
the past tense (She stated that ...). Next, a corresponding shift is made in the verb tenses, pronouns and
certain other words in the original statement:

Direct: The election is being held today.


Indirect: The Acting President confirmed that the election was being held that day [or on a specific date].

In a summary of a speech or discussion, the reporting clause must be added initially to establish the
pattern of indirect speech but should not be included in every subsequent sentence. The shift in verb
tenses, pronouns and other words signals the fact that the words are being reported.

The examples below illustrate the tenses that need to be changed.

Present to past tense

Direct: Fifteen States are members of the working group.


Indirect: The Secretary of the Council reported that 15 States were members of the working group.

Even though the original statement may still be valid at the time of reporting, the verb is changed from the
present to the past tense since it must agree with the verb in the main clause, which, whether stated or
understood, is in the past tense.

Present perfect to past perfect tense

Direct: The investigators have been conducting hearings on security issues for several days.
Indirect: The Director noted that the investigators had been conducting hearings on security issues for several
days.

Past to past perfect tense

Direct: The Chairman resigned last week.


Indirect: It was announced that the Chairman had resigned the previous week.

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Past perfect tense (no change)

Direct: The Board had been following the question closely for some time.
Indirect: The Director-General acknowledged that the Board had been following the question closely for some
time.

Future to secondary future tense

Direct: We will honour the ceasefire.


Indirect: The insurgents stated that they would honour the ceasefire.

Future perfect to secondary future perfect tense

Direct: By 2015 the number will have doubled.


Indirect: It was estimated that by 2015 the number would have doubled.

Conditional tense (no change)

Direct: If the necessary funds were available, the programme would be put into operation.
Indirect: The Director said that if the necessary funds were available, the programme would be put into
operation.

Special verb forms

Some auxiliary verbs, such as must and ought to, have only one form, which is used in both direct and
indirect speech. When should is used as an auxiliary, it does not change either.

Direct: Speakers [must/ought to/should] limit their statements to five minutes.


Indirect: The Chairperson emphasized that speakers [must/ought to/should] limit their statements to five
minutes.
Or: The Chairperson emphasized that speakers were obliged to limit their statements to five minutes.

The infinitive form can often be used to avoid cumbersome or awkward constructions in reported speech.

Direct: It is reported that the situation is grave.


Indirect: She told the Council that the situation was reported to be grave.

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Pronouns, possessives and demonstratives

The changes required in pronouns, possessive adjectives and demonstratives are as follows:

Direct speech Indirect speech


I he, she
me him, her
my his, her, the
mine his, hers
we they
us them
our their, the
ours theirs
you they, them
you their, the
yours theirs
this that, the
these those, the

Adverbs and adjectives

Adverbs and adjectives denoting time and place may have to be changed as follows:

Direct speech Indirect speech


here there
now, at the present time then, at the time
present existing, current
today that day, at the time
tomorrow the day after, the next day
yesterday the day before, the previous day
ago before, earlier

Questions and exclamations

The rules set out above also apply to questions and exclamations. In addition, the final punctuation mark
(question mark or exclamation point) should be changed to a full stop (period) in an indirect statement. In
some cases, the word order may have to be changed slightly. When converting a direct question to an
indirect one, the subject and verb often have to be inverted.

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Question

Direct: Why should we include this question in the agenda?


Indirect: Several Committee members asked why they should include the question in the agenda.

Exclamation

Direct: Such acts of aggression should not be tolerated by the international community!
Indirect: The Ambassador declared that such acts of aggression should not be tolerated by the international
community.

Take a look at the following example:

Mr. X: Nothing is further from my desire than to start a debate on procedure but, in fact, we had this
morning adopted a provisional procedure which, under article 68 and those which follow, lays down
rules for the elections and for voting. We also agreed this morning that this matter of nominations
should be referred to the Sixth Committee for discussion, and for an agreed solution before the close of
our meetings. In the meantime, I think we should do well to adhere to the rules that we have adopted
and proceed as originally scheduled.

Mr. X said that nothing was is further from his my desire than to start a debate on procedure. but, in
fact, we He noted, however, that the meeting had that this morning adopted a provisional procedure
which, under article 68 and those which followed, laid lays down rules for the elections and for voting.
The meeting had We also agreed that this morning that the this matter of nominations should be
referred to the Sixth Committee for discussion, and for an agreed solution before the close of the our
meetings. He felt that in the meantime, I think we should the meeting would do well to adhere to the
rules that we have had been adopted and proceed as originally scheduled.

Exercise 31 gives you a chance to turn three paragraphs into reported speech.

[Click here for exercise 31]

Prepared by the Editorial Control Unit, United Nations Office at Vienna, 2008
Exercise 31

Reported speech.

Rewrite the following paragraphs in reported speech, changing tense and expressions of
time and place as necessary.

The findings are also backed up by more recent analysis undertaken by us on data from employment and
income growth in industrial district and non-district settings. This allows us to determine if clustering
leads to more rapidly increasing employment and better and faster rising wages. We turn to country X to
address the question for two simple reasons. First the country’s experience has driven much of the
research in the developing world and provided the classic reference point for developing country
industrial clusters. Second, the country is one of the few countries where wage and employment data are
available at the level of clusters.

In this modern era, we have had seen tremendous progress in science and technology. We have seen
democracy spread to people it has never previously touched. And we have seen people on many
continents move from a past of extreme poverty to a future of hope. But terrible inequalities continue to
scar our world. Too many people continue to suffer and die from poverty, conflict and disaster - despite all
the means at our disposal to create and share wealth, protect people from the violence of man or nature
and deepen respect for the dignity of every human being.

Criticism, while fully justified, is not enough. We have a duty to help those in need. In keeping with the
recommendations of my envoy, the United Nations will urgently seek agreement with the Government to
mobilize immediate humanitarian assistance on the scale that is required to avert further suffering. I urge
the international community to respond generously to this call. For its part, the Government must
recognize the virtual state of emergency that now exists, allow unhindered access for humanitarian
operations and create conditions for sustainable relief and reconstruction.

Now that we have covered some basic drafting rules and tips, we can turn to writing of summaries. Move
on to chapter VII of the course.

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