hi

good morning hello

thank you for having me so let's get started with my ted talks

my very first time so i am the last born in my family that follows and honors traditional values

my oldest sister is a lecturer and my second sister is working for the public sector and their paths are
exactly the same as my parents expected

finishing college getting married at the age of 24, having a job

and then having kids ,and my parents expected me to have the same path in my sophomore

year of high school

when both of my sisters both got married my family got a big debt, i still remember my parents

they had to get up every day, work very hard to make sure that i still got a decent life and a good
education regardless, i still remember my mom she had to borrow money

so that she could have enough 23 million vietnam dong for me

to pay my tuition fee when it was the candidate in the national excellent student

contest

the subject of english which was pretty expensive back then

and then i passed the contest which meant that i got direct offers

from several universities within the country and when we got the news my mom was the

happiest and she was like, hooray now you are able to get into security academy

[Music]

so for your information to get into that university

you had to get a score of around 29 out of 30

in the entrance university exam which was obviously impossible for me because i

was super bad at maths and plus you were very likely to get a

job offer after graduation and that is the reason why my parents wanted me to study

at that university because they want to feel reassured that I got a stable job i got a foreseeable

future the so-called foreseeable future as much as i didn't want to disappoint

my parents i knew that this path was not for me

i knew that i was not cut out for this job as a police officer because all i wanted
to do was television and communication and that was my very first

step outside the norm which i think doesn't necessarily mean that you are

the first person to do something in the world it just simply means that

what you are doing is not normal is not familiar in your closednetwork of your friends of your family and
you have no idea how things would turn out

so i got into college and on a very beautiful day i posted a video of me covering a very

cute song named foo so you know after one night that video went viral

all over the internet and wow after a few weeks later i got an

invitation to film the music video and write some parts to the song with the songwriter

and wow the song became a hit and the envy got millions of views and wow a ceo of an entertainment
agency contacted me everything happened so quickly that I didn't have time to

process it and the ceo persuaded me into becoming a singer under his company and i was like

yeah i was pretty interested but i still

have a college to finish and then he told me his story of dropping out of college in his senior year to
become a director and now he made it and i was like wow that would be a lot of fun i think this would
be a very big opportunity for me

my time to shine on the other side of the spectrum the music video got good response in

general but regarding my voice in my singing people didn't like it that much and of

course i was very sad, pretty sad sad sad and discouraged

um i asked my parents for advice and my mom asked me so despite all the opinions on of people on
your voice

do you still want to pursue a career as a singer and i was hesitating i told mom um mom i'm not so sure

another story still during that time i hosted three english shows on vtv7 which is the national education
channel and everything was going pretty well until i read comments on the internet and most of the
audience did not like my voice and they complained about my hosting skills my English and you know
that shows these shows were for learning English so the host is supposed to have good english

you know if i was trying to sell you a pen and you didn't buy, it okay i could blame the pen is not good,
but when the product is me when is me appearing on the national tv and serving millions of audience all
across the nation it is getting harder and harder to sleep at night and seeing me getting disappointed
being sad in myself from time to time then my mom asked me have you ever considered quitting this job

i mean you're still a student you don't have to work you can fail you can try i just wanted you to be
healthy and happy every day and an inner voice in me right at that moment told my mom that
homemade no
mom i still want to keep working because

i know that i can fix it

and then my mom told me then

congratulations i think that you have

already found your passion

and i was like passion i have found my

passion

and yes i found my passion on that day

i soon realized that passion is

something

that pushes you through difficult times

because you don't care whatever

it takes to become better i like to sing

but i didn't have enough determination

to push myself

through people's opinions on my voice

and i quit

that means i don't have enough passion

for it i like to do the job of a tv host

and i know that i have strong

willingness to face

and overcome adversity for what i love

and as a result i rejected the offer of

the ceo

and a lot of people i know when a lot of

the experts in the industry

told me that i think that was a bad

decision i think if i were you i

wouldn't do that
but the thing here is that the best

advice

is the advice that people give you for

you

not the advice what would they do if

they were you because everyone is

different

and i the lesson i learned hard way from

this big event in my life is that

people cannot take the right decisions

in your life

only you can by listening more to your

inner voice

and by staying true to your vision and i

know that my vision has always been that

education education has always been my

backbone my family's backbone

and finishing college and using what i

learned to bring value to people

as a host as a social influencer as an

author has been always my ultimate goal

it can be very difficult to navigate in

at first

but it is sometimes better to take

a conscious decision that might appear

very crazy

very not right for others than just

following the norms

blindly and then

getting back to my story i still

continue with my work

as a tv host at vtv7 i still

be a full-time student at my diplomatic

academy of vietnam

and regarding my voice as a lot of

audience complained about my two

high-pitched voice which was very

irritating to listen to

and they didn't like my voice i decided

and i was so determined

to change my voice by lowering the tone

of my voice when speaking english

from hello this is a very nice day yes

this was exactly my voice in the past

to hello this is a very nice day

everything was going pretty well once

again and one day

the produce the producer and the

director of the show that i hosted

uploaded

a podcast that had me hosting with that

high pitched voice i guess probably back

in the season one the first season of

the show

and then i asked him if it was okay

to delete the podcast because i thought

the voice was

terrible and the audience might not like

it and i was too afraid to be judged

again

by the audience and then he texted me

back

and i could feel the disappointment and

the anger a little bit in his text

messages and he told me

that voice was a part of you why did you

deny it

okay so no more podcast that had you

will be uploaded ever again

and i was like what did did i do

something wrong what was happening

am i making you angry i didn't know what

was happening back then i was so stupid

it was not until when i talked to people

i talked more to my audience and

i read more comments and people started

to say

what happened to your voice v you spoke

too

quietly and softly that it's really hard

to listen to you

and we couldn't really find the positive

energy

the fun vibes like before and that

moment

left me speechless because i was too

confident
that the positive energy was something

that i could always bring to people

that was my unique selling point but

when the audience couldn't find that in

me

it felt like a loss of a part in my body

i really lost sight of who i was

i listened to people's opinions and

i changed who i am because i think

others

might accept me for it but i was strong

what i had been doing so far is not

trying to become

better but trying to become someone else

by rejecting myself by seeking

validation from

every single one and what the producer

and

the director told me just went on a loop

in my brain for weeks

that voice was the part of you why did

you deny it

why did i deny it i didn't know

i think because we as humans

often make a lot of mistakes and we

often

very often punish ourselves for those

past

mistakes because those mistakes often

come back

with an overwhelming feeling of guilt

of shame if i am not i'm not good enough

and i have never ever been good enough

and i realized that the hardest person

to forgive on this earth

is not someone who betrayed you

another friend who wasn't there for you

when you need the most

is not your ex-boyfriend who broke your

heart to pieces

the hardest person to forgive on this

earth is myself

and then my best friend told me to stop

doing what i have been doing so far

which is pleasing every single one

and he said just be yourself that three

words

i know we listen to this phrase all the

time just be yourself

i mean when i'm having a shower just be

yourself when i'm eating just be

yourself

when on the stage just be yourself when

i'm talking to you just be yourself

just be yourself just three words but

we're here all the time and we're

getting tired of it

but it's the use of the word just

that really surprises me because when we

use the word just

it means that it is something very easy

to do

then why just being myself

is still the hardest thing for me to do

why i didn't know

and after talking to my therapist after

learning more about meditation about my

inner peace

listening more to my inner voice

i realized that my true self is

actually being covered up with thinking

and with a perception which is based on

fear

my true self is who i really am when i

let go

of all those stories of all the

judgments

that i myself place on me

do you still remember a challenge on

facebook where people would post

10 year challenge where people would

post their pictures when they were

kids and people and your friends would

comment oh you look so cute you look so

happy you look so nice and then uh

the the the the person would say oh yeah

yeah i look cute i was a cute kid back

then

but you know my challenge i think for

you

today is that take a picture of your

face

today and remember that in 10 years time

you will be amazed at how gorgeous and

beautiful you

are because right now you are already

gorgeous and beautiful because

you just don't see it yet my stories of

stepping outside the norm

is challenging myself but it is not

about changing myself

because you you see as you can see i

failed when i try

to change myself

at the end of the day we as humans we

are allowed to make mistakes we are

allowed to laugh at ourselves we are

allowed

you know to do something wrong just make

mistakes

it's not the end of the world who on

earth has not made a mistake

tell me a name who no one so

it's okay to feel bad it's okay to feel

down and heavy sometimes

because the cloud rains when it's heavy

too

so it's really okay it's totally normal

you don't have to try to become anyone

else you don't have to try to become

this guy

that guy this lady that lady know

you don't have to try to become anyone

else you just be you

and being you being authentic being an

individual

is enough because individuality

makes diversity and individuality

and diversities are two most precious

things on this earth

i know that some of you here every

single one of you here

might be having some problems and

pressure to deal with every single day

maybe with your friends with your family

with your work with your study

with your love life and i just want to

tell you that

no matter who you are no matter where

you come from

you are the one and only and that's what

makes you beautiful and special in your

own ways

and no matter what you are facing right

now
and i don't know no matter what the

future holds for you

please never change

yourself love yourself

accept yourself and then transform

yourself

i really hope you have a great day today

thank you