GEC105 A5-1

MY PRIMARY SOURCE

So here is the story why I chose this picture as my

primary source. I was one in this picture and I was two years old when my father just left our
family. At a very young age, I became independent. I didn't know what to do. I grew up without a
father to protect me. I was so sad, not because I was afraid but because I didn't have one. If I could
go back in time to the day he left me, I would hug him and would let him know how much I love
him. Watching my pals enjoy Father's Day made me jealous. I have spent many nights thinking
about how much I would be missed if my father came back and said he had missed me in his life.
Even though I knew they would never materialize, my mind conjured up discussions and vacations.
After a few years, I realized that having a mother who loves me as much as two parents do is more
valuable than having another person around who only sees me as a temporary relationship. I really
hated my dad for many years.

Until one day, I have come to realize forgiveness is not a one-time act for me but
something I have to work on. Forgiveness towards my dad does not always equate to forgetfulness.
The pain of past hurts still haunts me, despite my decision to forgive him. These are the times
when he has to be forgiven all over again. A process of revisiting the hurts as needed and letting
them go. In the meantime, I've learned not to be too hard on myself because I've come to realize
that deep pain is normal. And for me, this was the most life-changing experience that changed me
and my personal history.