Intercultural Communication PDF

HANOI OPEN UNIVERSITY
FACULTY OF ENGLISH
***
Communication
Compiled & Edited: Le Thi Vy
Luu Chi Hai
Le Thi Anh Tuyet
Hanoi 2013
48
INTRODUCTION
“Second language learning is often second culture learning. In order to

understand just what second culture learning is, one needs to understand
the nature of acculturation, culture shock, and social distance.” (Brown,
1980)
This course book is designed to provide you, the learner of English as a

foreign language, with basic information about the cultural features of
major English speaking countries, especially the United Kingdom and the
United States. It enables you to have opportunities:
- to discuss important aspects of culture;
- to learn about life in the English-speaking countries;
- to recognize the relationship between language and culture;
- to improve your conversational ability through intercultural
communication.
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CONTENTS
Unit 1: Introduction to Culture and Inter-cultural Communication

8
1. Definition of culture for the study of communication 8

2. Definition of inter-cultural communication 11
Unit 2: Making Introductions 14
1. Varieties of Introductions 16
2. What is in a Name? 16
3. Use of Titles in Introductions 17
4. Eye Contact and Handshaking in Introductions 18
5. Small Talk after Introductions 20
6. Cultural Variations in Introductions 21
7. Cultural Notes 21
Exercises 23
Unit 3: Verbal Patterns 27
1. Rules and Styles of Speaking 29

2. Directness and indirectness 29
3. Invitations 31
4. Speaking and Refraining from Speaking 34
5. Different Ways of Expressing Common Needs 35
6. Language Style 36
7. Initiating and Maintaining Conversations 36
Exercises 38
Unit 4: Nonverbal Communication 44

1. Cultural Differences in Non-verbal Communication 47
2. Gestures 47
3. Facial Expressions 50
4. Eye Contact 51
5. Space 52
6. Clothing and Bodily Characteristics 52
Exercises 54
Unit 5: Personal Relationships 59
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1. Circles of Friends 61
2. Mobility and Friendship 62
3. Male – Female Relationships 63
4. Intercultural Friendships 65
Exercises 70
Unit 6: Family Values 75
1. Family Values 76
2. Child Raising 83
3. Young Adulthood 84
4. The Elderly 85
5. The Nuclear and the Extended Family 86
6. Family Roles 87
7. Stability and Change in the Family 88
Exercises 90
Unit 7: Educational Attitudes 95

1. Diversity in Education 95
2. Active Participation 96
3. The Teacher – Student Relationships 97
4. Independent Learning 98
5. The Honor System 99
6. Competition 99
Exercises 101
Unit 8: Cultural Conflict 106

1. Communication and Culture 107
2. Misinterpretations 108
3. Ethnocentrism 108
4. Stereotypes and Prejudice 109
Exercises 111
Unit 9: Cultural Adjustment 116
1. Culture Shock 117

2. The Adjustment Process 118
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3. The Re-entry Process 119
4. Factors Important to Successful Intercultural Adjustments
121
5. Individual Reaction 122
6. Politeness 122
Exercises 125
References 129
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Key terms
 Culture: shared background (e.g., national, ethnic, religious)
reflecting a common language and communication style, shared
customs, beliefs, attitudes, and values. Culture mentioned here does
not refer to art, music, literature, food, clothing styles… Culture refers
to the informal and often hidden patterns of human interactions,
expressions, and viewpoints that people in one culture share. The
hidden nature of culture has been compared to an iceberg, most of
which is hidden under water! Like the iceberg, most of the influence
of culture on an individual cannot be seen. The hidden aspects of
culture have significant effects on behaviour and on interactions with
others.
 Communication: the process of sharing meaning through verbal

and non-verbal communication.
 Intercultural communication: communication between people

from different cultures; communication which is influenced by
cultural values, attitudes, and behavior; the influence of culture on
people’s reactions and responses to each other.
Principles
• Culture, unlike language, is not comprised of fixed rules applied to all

members of one culture.
• There are no absolute “right” and “wrong” implied, only cultural

differences. What is appropriate in one culture may be inappropriate in
another culture.
• All cultures have values and ideals that their members say are true.
• People’s behaviour may not always reflect those values.
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Common Abbreviations:
G.P.A. = grade-point average

B .A. /B . S. = bachelor of arts bachelor of science
M.A./M.S. = master of arts master of science
Ph.D. = doctorate
Prof. = professor
Subjects
Econ. = economics
Phys. Ed. (P.E.) = physical education
Math = mathematics
Chem. = chemistry
Bio. = biology
Poli. Sci. = political science
Psych. = psychology
Soc. = sociology
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Unit 1:
Introduction to Culture and Inter-cultural
Communication
(2.5 hours)
In this unit we will learn:
1. generalization of culture
2. meanings of the word ‘culture’
3. definitions of culture in any fields
4. definitions of intercultural communication
5. intercultural communication in the social life
This unit is about interpersonal communication among people from

different cultures. Our goal is to explain how you can achieve
interpersonal competence in interactions that involve intercultural
communication. This unit provides a general understanding of culture
and Intercultural communication. It also includes a discussion about why
one culture differs from another.
1. Definition of culture for the study of communication
Definitions of culture are numerous. In 1952, Alfred L. Kroeber and

Clyde Kluckhohn published a book with more than 200 pages
devoted to different definitions of the term (Myron W.Lustug & Jolene
Koester, 2010,p 25). Since then, many other scholars have offered
additional definitions and approaches.
Our goal in presenting a particular definition of culture is to explain the

important link between culture and communication. However, we
emphasize that the way we define culture is not the "right" or "best" way.
Rather, it is a definition that is useful for our purpose of helping you to
understand the crucial link between culture and communication as you
set out to improve your intercultural competence.
Culture is defined as a learned set of shared interpretations about beliefs,

values, norms, and social practices, which affect the behaviors of a
relatively large group of people.
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1. Culture is learned: Humans are not born with the genetic imprint of a
particular culture. Instead, people learn about their culture through
interactions with parents, other family members, friends, and even
strangers who are part of the culture. Later in this chapter we explain why
some cultures are so different from others. For now, we want to describe
the general process by which people learn their culture.
Culture is learned from the people you interact with as you are socialized.
Watching how adults react and talk to new babies is an excellent way to
see the actual symbolic transmission of culture among people. Two
babies born at exactly the same time in two parts of the globe may be
taught to respond to physical and social stimuli in very different ways.
For example, some babies are taught to smile at strangers, whereas others
are taught to smile only in very specific circumstances. In the United
States, most children are asked from a very early age to make decisions
about what they want to do and what they prefer; in many other cultures,
a parent would never ask a child what she or he wants to do but would
simply tell the child what to do.
Culture is also taught by the explanations people receive for the natural
and human events around them. Parents tell children that a certain person
is a good boy because people from different cultures would complete the
blank in contrasting ways. The people with whom the children interact
will praise and encourage particular kinds of behaviors (such as crying or
not crying, being quiet or being talkative). Certainly there are variations
in what a child is taught from family to family in any given ·culture.
However, our interest is not in these variations but in the similarities
across most or all families that form the basis of a culture. Because our
specific interest is in the relationship between culture and interpersonal
communication, we focus on how cultures provide their members with a
set of interpretations that they then use as filters to make sense of
messages and experiences.
2. Culture Is a Set of Shared Interpretations: Shared interpretations

establish the very important link between communication and culture.
Cultures exist in the minds of people, not just in external or tangible
objects or behaviors. Integral to our discussion of communication is an
emphasis on symbols as the means by which all communication takes
place. The meanings of symbols exist in the minds of the individual
communicators; when those symbolic ideas are shared with others, they
form the basis for culture. Not all of an individual's symbolic ideas are
necessarily shared with other people, and some symbols will be shared
only with a few. A culture can form only if symbolic ideas are shared
with a relatively large group of people.
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3. Culture Involves Beliefs, Values, Norms, and Social Practices: The
shared symbol systems that form the basis of culture represent ideas
about beliefs, values, norms, and social practices because of their
importance in understanding the ways in which cultures vary and their
role in improving intercultural communication competence. For now, it is
enough to know that beliefs refer to the basic understanding of a group of
people about what the world is like or what is true or false. Values refer
to what a group of people defines as good and bad or what it regards as
important. Norms refer to rules for appropriate behavior, which provide
the expectations people have of one another and of themselves. Social
practices are the predictable behavior patterns that members of a culture
typically follow. Taken together, the shared beliefs, values, norms, and
social practices provide a "way of life" for the members of a culture.
Sometimes the worst things are not what people say to your face or what
they say at all, it is the things that are assumed.
I am in line at the grocery store, studying at a café, on a plane flying

somewhere.
"Her English is excellent, she must have grown up here," I hear a lady
whisper. "But why on earth does she wear that thing on her head?"
"Oh that's not her fault," someone replies, “her father probably forces her
to wear that.”
I am still searching for a profound thirty-second sound to use when I hear
comments like that. The trouble is that things like that never take thirty
seconds to say. So I say nothing, but silence does not belong there. I want
to grasp their hands and usher them home with me.
Come, meet my father. Don't look at the wrinkles, don't look at the scars,
don't mind the hearing aid, or the thick accent. Don’t look at the world's
effect on him; look at his effect on the world. Come to my childhood and
hear the lullabies, the warm hand on your shoulder on worst of days, the
silly jokes on the mundane afternoons. Come meet the woman he has
loved and respected his whole life, witness the confidence he has
nurtured in his three daughters. Stay the night; hear his footsteps come in
at midnight after a long day’s work. That thumping is his head bowing in
prayer although he is exhausted. Granted, the wealth is gone and the
legacy unknown, but look at what the bombs did not destroy. Now tell
me, am I really oppressed? The question alone makes me laugh. Now tell
me, is he really the oppressor? The question alone makes me cry.
4. Culture affects behavior: If culture were located solely in the minds of

people, we could only speculate about what a culture is, since it is
impossible for one person to see norms affect the behaviors of large
groups of people. In other words, the social practices that characterize a
culture give people guidelines about what things mean, what is
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important, and what should or should not be done. Thus, culture
establishes predictability in human interactions. Cultural differences are
evident in the varying ways in which people conduct their everyday
activities, as people "perform" their culture in their behavioral
routines.
Within a given geographical area, people who interact with one another
will, over time, form social bonds that help to stabilize their interactions
and patterns of behavior. These social practices become the basis for
making predictions and forming expectations about others. However, no
one is entirely "typical" of the culture to which she or he belongs; each
person differs, in unique ways, from the general cultural tendency to
think and to behave in a particular way. Nor is "culture" the complete
explanation for why people behave as they do: differences in age, gender,
social status," and many other factors also affect the likelihood that
people will enact specific behaviors. Thus, "culture" is an important, but
not the only, explanation for people's conduct.
5. Culture involves large group of people: We differentiate between

smaller groups of individuals, who may engage in interpersonal
communication, and larger groups of people more traditionally associated
with cultures. For example, if you work every day with the same group
of people and you regularly see and talk to them, you will
undoubtedly begin to develop shared perceptions and experiences that
will affect the way you communicate. Although some people might
want to use the term culture to refer to the bonds that develop among
the people in a small group, we prefer to distinguish between the broad-
based, culturally shared beliefs, values, norms, and social practices that
people bring to their interactions and the unique expectations and
experiences that arise as a result of particular interpersonal relationships
that develop. Consequently, we will restrict the use of the term culture to
much larger, societal levels of organization.
Culture is also often used to refer to other types of large groups of

people. It can refer to ethnicity, gender, profession, or any other symbol
system that is bounded and salient to individuals." Our definition does
not exclude groups such as women, the deaf, gays and lesbians, and
others identified by Collier and Thomas. However, our emphasis is
primarily on culture in its more traditional forms, which Collier and
Thomas refer to as ethnicity.
2. Definition of inter-cultural communication
Intercultural communication in its most basic form refers to an academic

field of study and research. It seeks to understand how people from
different countries and cultures behave, communicate and perceive the
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world around them. The findings of such academic research are then
applied to 'real life' situations such as how to create cultural synergy
between people from different cultures within a business or how
psychologists understand their patients.
The definition of intercultural communication must also include strands

of the field that contribute to it such as anthropology, cultural studies,
psychology and communication.
There are many researchers and academics of note within the

intercultural field, who naturally all have different definitions of
'intercultural communication'. Myron W.Lustug & Jolene Koester quoted
the definition of intercultural communication from Karlfried Knapp:
“Intercultural communication can be defined as the interpersonal
interaction between members of different groups, which differ from each
other in respect of the knowledge shared by their members and in respect
of their linguistic forms of symbolic behaviour."
The theories developed by the researchers and academics can and have
been applied to many fields such as business, management, marketing,
advertising and website design. As business becomes more and more
international, many companies need to know how best to structure their
companies, manage staff and communicate with customers. Intercultural
communication gives them an insight into the areas they need to address
or understand. Intercultural communication theories are now also used
within the education, health care and other public services due to growing
multicultural populations.
Questions for discussion

1. What is culture?
2. What areas are involved in the definition of culture?
3. What is intercultural communication?
4. Which fields is intercultural communication applied to?
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References
1. Brown H., (2000). Culture in the Classroom. In Principles of Language

Learning and Teaching. White Plain N.Y. Longman
2. Hall, E. T. (1983) The Dance of Life. New York NY: Anchor Books
3. Levine, D. R. & Adelman, M. B. (1982). Beyond Language. Intercultural

Communication for English as a Second Language. Prentice Hall, Inc.,
Englewood Cliffs, N.J. 07632
4. Myron W.Lustug & Jolene Koester (2010). Intercultural competence:

Interpersonal Communication across Cultures (6th edition)
5. Nguyen Quang (Com. & Ed.). Intercultural Communication. Vietnam

National University. Hanoi.
6. Oxford Guide to British and American Culture. Oxford University

Press(UK)
7. Tracy Novinger (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical

Guide. University of Texas Press.
8. Valdes, J. M. (1986). Culture Bound. Bridging the Cultural Gap in

Language Teaching. Cambridge University Press.
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Unit 2: Making Introductions
(2.5 hours)
In this unit we will learn:
1. Varieties of Introductions
2. What is in a Name?
3. Use of Titles in Introductions
4. Eye Contact and Handshaking in Introductions
5. Small Talk after Introductions
6. Cultural Variations in Introductions
7. Cultural Notes
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PROFESSOR: Mr. Lustig, I would like to introduce you to Dr.
Johns, director of the language institute. Dr.
Johns, this is Mr. Lustig, the academic adviser
from Bamum College.
MR. LUSTIG: How do you do, Dr. Johns?
DR. JOHNS: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lustig. I'm glad
that we finally have the occasion to meet.
***
FRIEND: I'd like you to meet my friend, Nancy Pipkin.

Nancy, this is my brother, Jack.
NANCY: Hi, Jack. Nice to meet you.
JACK: Hi, Nancy.
***
FRIEND: Hi, George, have you met Bill?
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GEORGE: No, I haven't. Hi, Bill.
BILL: Hi! How ya doing?
***
1. Varieties of Introductions
What do you notice about the above three introductions? Why is the style
of language in all three different? These introductions which range from
formal to informal exemplify typical introductions made by English
speakers. Although they tend to use informal language as illustrated in
the second and third introductions, there are situations where formal
introductions are appropriate. When meeting a president of a university,
it is advisable to say, "How do you do?" rather than "How ya doing?"
Likewise, someone, who is your age or younger would probably say, "It's
nice to meet you" rather than "How do you do?"
In the first introduction the speakers use longer sentences, titles (Dr.,
Mr.), and formal words and phrases ("I would like to introduce you...,”
"How do you do?" and "It's a pleasure to meet you"). The relationship
between the speakers in the first introduction is a formal one.
The next two introductions, which are more informal, use reduced words
and sentences and simpler language. "It's nice to meet you" becomes
"Nice to meet you.”, "How are you doing?" becomes "How ya doing?”.
A very informal introduction does not use titles or last names.
2. What is in a Name?
The names of people in most English-speaking countries appear and are

pronounced in reverse order to names in Vietnam. In Vietnam, the family
name is said first. In English the family name is referred to as the "last
name" because it is the last name that appears in a name. One's personal
or "given" name appears first in English and last in Vietnamese. A given name is the
personal name given at birth. Middle names are used by both cultures and appear
between the given and family names.
Vietnamese
Family Middle Given
fem. Nguyen Phuong Lan
masc
Pham Quoc Minh
.
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English
Given Middle Family
fem. Mary Jane Smith
masc
John Edward Jackson
.
It is traditional for American women to take their husband's family name

when they marry. The family name they were born with is known as the
"maiden" name. If Mary Jane Smith marries John Edward Jackson, she
becomes Mary Jane Jackson and her maiden name is Smith.
Though most follow tradition today, some women choose to keep their
maiden names. Others hyphenate their last names with their husband's
last name, for example, Mary Jane Smith-Jackson. Sometimes the
husband may also use the hyphenated name (John Edward Smith-
Jackson).
In Vietnam, officially, the name of a woman does not change when she
gets married. Regionally, however, her name may change according to
various customs throughout the country. In parts of the Mekong Delta,
for example, she may be called Mrs. Minh - her husband's given name.
Or she may be called by a number that signifies her husband's sibling
status, like Sister Five meaning the fifth son's wife. These regional
customs of naming usually describe a relationship. In some mountainous
villages in the north, names of the eldest child are used as parents' name
such as Mr. and Mrs. Ha - Ha being the name of their eldest daughter.
The names of children combined with the word "mother" may form a
name in some areas of the south.
What is in a name? Names are families, relationships, status, and

traditions. By understanding names, we get a glimpse into those things
that are important to us and to the cultures to which we belong. A name
can identify who we are in family, community and country.
3. Use of Titles in Introductions
Often when there is a difference in status or age between two individuals,

formal titles and last names are used unless the person of lower status is
told to use the first name. For example:
ACCOUNTANT (age 50): Hello, my name is Bob Thomas
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STUDENT (age 20): It's nice to meet you, Mr. Thomas.
ACCOUNTANT: Please, just call me Bob.
In informal introductions there is a tendency to reduce status differences

by using first names. In more formal situations, the title along with the
last name is appropriate. For example, when a student introduces herself
to a university professor, she might say:
SUSAN (student): Hello, Dr. McCarrick. My name is Susan Hall

and I would like to ask you about your course.
Susan used her professor's title (Dr.) and his last name, whereas when she
introduced herself, she used her first name and last name and no title. In
many parts of the world, students must show their politeness and respect
to teachers. One way of doing this is not to use the teacher’s first name.
Some teachers in the English-speaking countries do not think it is rude if
their students call them by their first name. This may be their way of
having a close informal relationship with students.
4. Eye Contact and Handshaking in Introductions
Direct eye contact and firm handshakes during introductions are

customary in the English-speaking countries. In introductions as well as
in general conversations, speakers maintain frequent eye contact.
Looking at a person when you speak to him or her gives an indication of
honesty. Most people become nervous if frequent eye contact turns into
staring. However, if you don’t have an eye contact when speaking, you
will be considered to avoid something or to be dishonest. In others it is
seen as challenging and rude.
Handshaking is a polite gesture indicating friendship and acceptance.

When shaking hands, people shake firmly and briefly. The expression,
"He shakes hands like a dead fish" refers to a limp handshake, a sign of a
weak character. A firm handshake is a sign of sincerity. Prolonged
handshaking is not usual in many countries. For example, in the US
people only shake hands for a few seconds. Problems can arise when this
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custom is unfamiliar to foreign visitors. One foreign student remarked,
"I'm beginning to think that there's something wrong with me. I have the
impression that people in the United States don't like me. When I shake
hands with them, they always pull their hands away quickly." American
visitors sometimes pull their hands away too quickly in countries where
prolonged handshaking is common.
Precaution to be safe:
This way of shaking hand shows the self –

confidence
Covering of the hand:
This way is used when you know about

your friend clearly.
The softie: A
soft handshake
demonstrates
weakness, lack
of confidence,
lack of interest,
and lack of
masculinity
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Attack: Putting your hand into opponent’s hand palm is the sign of
attack.
“The handshaking of the Queen”
This way of handshaking point out

that you are wise, skilful.
5. “Small Talk” after Introductions
Immediately after introductions are made, there is usually a period of

time in which impersonal or trivial subjects are discussed. This type of
conversation, called "small talk," is important because it often helps to
maintain conversations and it can lead into interesting discussions.
Usually speakers initiate small talk with such questions as: "Do you live
in this area?”, "How do you like living here?" or "What are you
studying?" It is also common for people to ask, "What do you do?" which
means "What is your job?" but it is uncommon and considered impolite
to ask, "How much money do you make?" or "How much does your house
cost?" Other questions such as: “Are you married?” or "How old are
you?" (to an adult) are generally considered too personal for initial
meetings.
In an introductory meeting, maintaining a conversation is easier when

two people find that they have something in common. The British are
cool and reserved. The great topic of conversation between strangers in
Britain is the weather - unemotional and impersonal. In America, the
main topic between strangers is the search to find a geographical link.
“Oh, really? You live in Ohio? I had an uncle who once worked there.”
In the following dialogue, small talk takes place until the speakers
discover that they share the same experience.
SUE: It's nice to meet you. My friend told me about you.

Have you lived in Seattle long?
MARK: No, only three months. How about you?
SUE: I moved here three years ago from California.
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MARK: Oh really! I'm from California too. Where did you
live in California?
SUE: In Gilroy, not far from San Jose.
MARK: This is really a coincidence. I'm from Gilroy, too! I

like telling people I'm from the garlic capital of the
world. Did you usually go to the summer garlic
festival?
SUE: I used to go every summer. How about you?
MARK: I went to most of them. I thought the one in 1980 was

great. Did you go to that one?
In this conversation, Sue and Mark asked each other small talk questions
before they found that they had a common background. Once they
discovered this, the conversation flowed easily.
6. Cultural Variations in Introductions
Styles of introductions, including initial conversations and nonverbal

rituals, vary among individuals and situations. The introduction of a
university president to a new professor is considerably more formal than
that of two people of the same status in a social situation. At a business
an introduction is likely to be more formal than one made at a party. In
addition, styles of introductions vary from country to country.
Bowing to show respect is customary in parts of the Far East. Also the
bow is a very important part of greeting someone. You should not expect
the Japanese to shake hands. Bowing the head is a mark of respect and the
first bow of the day should be lower than when you meet thereafter. In
Thailand you should clasp your hands together and lower your head and
your eyes when you greet someone.
In the Western hemisphere and in other parts of the world shaking hands
is the common practice. Putting the palm of the hand to the heart is
traditional in North Africa. Despite the cultural variations, the purpose of
all introductions is always the same - to provide an opportunity for
people to get to know each other.
7. Cultural Notes
1. In Afghanistan you should spend at least five minutes saying

hello.
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2. In a formal introduction, Americans often use titles until they are
told they may use first names.
3. When two people are introduced by a third person, the first and
last names are usually given. For example:
A FRIEND: Michael, I'd like you to meet my friend, Diane Rae. Diane,
I'd like you to meet Michael Lipsett.
Note: In less formal introductions, last names may be dropped.
4. The following is a list of titles used in introductions and

conversations. (Except when noted, these titles are followed by a
person’s last name.)
- Dr. (Doctor): used to address medical doctors (M.D.) and university

professors who have earned a doctorate degree (Ph.D.)
- Prof. (Professor): used to address a college or university teacher.
- Teacher: used by very young children in school. It is not appropriate

for adults to call their teacher “Teacher”. (Note: The word “teacher” is
not usually followed by a name.)
- Mrs.: used to address a married woman (teacher, director, etc.)
- Miss: used to address an unmarried woman (teacher, waitress…)
- Ms.: used to address an unmarried or married woman (teacher,

housewife, professional, etc.)
- Mr.: used to address a man (teacher, businessman, etc.)
4. The following phrases may be used if a name given in an introduction

is not understood or is forgotten.
Informal:
Excuse me, I didn't catch your name.
I'm sorry, what is your name again?
Could you spell your first name? That will

help me pronounce it better.
Formal:
May I please have your name again?
Would you please repeat your name?
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5. In traditional introductions, a man shakes a woman's hand if she
extends her hand first. However, this custom is changing and some
men offer their hand first. Some women shake hands with each other
although the majority still do not, and younger women shake more
often than older women do.
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Exercises
1. Read the passages carefully, then choose the best option
Passage 1:
Greetings in all languages have the same purpose: to establish contact
with another person, to recognize his or her existence and to show
friendliness. The formulas for greeting are very specific and usually do
not carry any literal meaning people say “ Good morning “even if it is a
miserable day and may reply to “How are you?” with “Fine, thanks” even
if they aren’t feeling well.
Closings, like greetings are commonly used to exchange with no literal

meaning. People who are leaving each other permanently or for a long
time shake hands or embrace, depending on the relationship. If you are in
an unfamiliar situation and wonder what to do, watch other people or ask.
It is interesting, and sometimes very important to learn about the

standards of courtesy in different cultural areas of the world so that we
can practice them well and avoid awkwardness in case we get a chance to
visit a person or a community of unfamiliar social customs.
1. Which of the following is NOT mentioned in the passage as a purpose

of greetings?
A. To create contact with the person being greeted.

B. To show that you recognize his or her present
C. To show that you admire him or her.
D. To show that you are willing to be his or her friend.
2. Which of the following is a characteristic of the formulas for greeting?

A. literal C. usual
B. specific D. common
3. In what way are closings similar to greeting?

A. They are common
B. They are exchanges
C. They are familiar
D. They have no literal meaning
4. According to the passage, what should you do when you are in an

unfamiliar situation?
A. Observe what other people do
B. Use formulas you know.
C. Wonder what you should do
D. Ask your friends for help
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5. Which of the following is a benefit of learning about the standards of
courtesy in a different cultural area?
A. You can act comfortably when you have a chance to visit the
community
B. You can have a chance to visit a community of unfamiliar social
customs
C. You can practice meeting with people from different cultural areas
D. You can avoid meeting with a community of unfamiliar social
customs
Passage 2:
Fill in each numbered blank with one suitable word
In summary, for most visitors, the Japanese are (1) _____ and difficult to
understand. The graceful act of (2) _____ is the traditional greeting.
However, they have also adopted the western custom of shaking hands,
but with a light grip. Meanwhile, to (3) _____ respect for their customs, it
would flatter them to offer a slight bow when being introduced. (4)
_____ hugging and kissing when greeting. It is considered rude to stare.
Prolonged direct eye contact is considered to be (5) _____ or even
intimidating. It is rude to stand with your hand or hands in your pockets,
especially when greeting someone (6) _____ when addressing a group of
people. The seemingly simple act of exchanging business cards is more
complex in Japan (7) ____ the business card represents not only one's
identity but also his (8) _____ in life. Yours should be printed in your
own language and in Japanese. The Japanese are not a touch-oriented
society; so avoid open displays of affection, touching or any prolonged
(9) _____ of body contact. Queues are generally respected; especially in
crowded train and subway stations (10) _____ the huge volume of people
causes touching and pushing.
1. a. complex b. easy c. simply d. cheap

2. a. shaking b. hugging c. bowing d. looking
3. a. pay b. show c. point d. draw
4. a. Agree b. Avoid c. Recommend d. Allow
5. a. politely b. impoliteness c. impolitely d. impolite
6. a. or b. but c. either d. nor
7. a. because b. even if c. unless d. though
8. a. location b. stand c. status d. place
9. a. path b. route c. form d. style
10.a. that b. when c. which d. where
25
2. Questions for discussion
1. When do you use first names in introductions?
2. When do you use title in introductions?
3. How do the English and the Vietnamese make introductions? The

similarities and the differences?
3. Write a short composition to compare the ways the English/American

and the Vietnamese make introductions
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References
1. Levine, D. R. & Adelman, M. B. (1982). Beyond Language.

Intercultural Communication for English as a Second Language.
Prentice Hall, Inc., Englewood Cliffs, N.J. 07632

3. Novinger,T. (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical Guide.

University of Texas Press.

Press(UK)

27
Unit 3: Verbal Patterns
(5 hours)
In this unit we will learn
1. Rules and Styles of Speaking
2. Directness and indirectness
3. Invitations
4. Speaking and Refraining from Speaking
5. Different Ways of Expressing Common Needs
6. Language Style
7. Initiating and Maintaining Conversations
8. Cultural Notes
28
Have you noticed how often people in English-speaking countries use the
expression "thank you"? A customer, after paying $100 for a meal in a
restaurant, says "thank you" to the person who hands him the bill. In
response to "I like the color of your car,” people might answer “thank
you.” In both of these cases no great favor or compliment was extended,
yet "thank you" was the automatic response.
29
When you listen to people speak a foreign language that you understand,
have you noticed that the native speakers of that language use words and
phrases in a manner different from what you are used to? In English-
speaking world for example, people say "thank you" frequently. A word
for "thank you" exists in almost every language, but how and when it is
used is not always the same. In your language, do you thank people for
trivial as well as important or unusual favors? For native English
speakers, this expression is used as a polite response to different kinds of
favors and compliments, and is often automatic (e.g., "Thanks for
calling" to someone on the phone or "Thank you" to a teller in a bank.)
1. Rules and Styles of Speaking
In language there are tacit rules of speaking that, unlike rules of grammar
or spelling, are not usually studied in a formal manner. These unspoken
"rules" exist in every language but differ significantly from culture to
culture. Acquiring a second language demands more than learning new
words and another system of grammar. It involves developing sensitivity
to aspects of language that are usually not taught in language textbooks.
Some important rules include permissible degrees of directness in speech
and forms of politeness used in daily conversation.
2. Directness and Indirectness
Americans are direct - honesty and frankness are more important to

Americans than “saving face". They may bring up impolite conversation
topics which you may find embarrassing, too controversial or even
offensive. Americans are quick to get to the point and not spend much
time on formal social amenities. This directness encourages Americans to
talk over disagreements and to try to patch up misunderstandings
themselves rather than ask a third party to mediate disputes.
30
Compared with other languages, people in English-speaking countries
strongly emphasize directness rather than indirectness in verbal
interaction. Many expressions in English exemplify this tendency: "Don't
beat around the bush,” "Let's get down to business," and "Get to the
point” all indicate the importance of dealing directly with issues or
impatience with avoiding issues. If a son hesitates telling his father that
he received a bad grade in school, his father might respond angrily with,
"Out with it!" or "Speak up!"
One way to determine whether a culture favors a direct or indirect style

in communication is to find out how the people in that culture express
disagreements, refusals or how they say “No.” In some Oriental cultures,
including Vietnamese culture, it would be considered rude to say
directly: “I disagree with you.” or “You are wrong.” in formal situations.
Directness is also seen when information is requested from strangers or

from people who are not well known to you. For example, when passing
31
a professor's office a student may say, "Excuse me, I'd like to ask you a
couple of questions." Her professor may respond, “Sure, go right ahead.
What's the problem?" In this interaction, the student stated her purpose
and the professor responded immediately.
Offers and responses to offers provide another example of directness in

verbal interaction. At a dinner party it would not be unusual to hear the
following conversation:
HOST: Would you like some more dessert?
GUEST: No, thank you. It's delicious, but I've really had
enough.
HOST: OK, why don't we leave the table and sit in the living
room?
In this conversation between two Americans, the host does not repeat the
offer more than once. If you refuse food the first time it is offered (to be
polite), it may not be offered again. The host does not know that your
initial refusal is politeness. If guests are hungry, they need to say directly,
"Yes, I'd like some more, thank you." If they are hungry but say, "No,
thank you," out of politeness, they may remain hungry for the rest of the
evening. A host will assume that a guest's refusal is honest and direct.
There are limits to the degree of directness a person is allowed to express,

especially with people of higher status such as teachers and employers. A
male student was surprised at the reaction of his female teacher when he
said, "What has happened to you? You look like you gained a lot of
weight!" When the teacher replied, "That's none of your business,” he
answered in an embarrassing tone, "I was just being honest." In this case,
his honesty and directness were inappropriate and unappreciated because
of the teacher-student relationship. In addition, most people do not like
being told that they are fat!
3. Invitations
A frequently misunderstood area in verbal interaction is that of

extending, accepting, and refusing invitations. The unwritten "rules" are
confusing and create misunderstandings even for native speakers. In
English someone might say something that sounds like an invitation but
that never results in an actual meeting with another person. Of course,
there are invitations that require definite commitments. Compare these
two invitations:
Invitation 1:
32
KATIE: It was nice talking to you. I have to run to
class.
DARLENE: OK, maybe we can meet sometime soon.
KATIE: Yeah, love to. Why don't you drop by my house

sometime?
DARLENE: Great. Gotta go. See ya soon.
Invitation 2:
KATIE: Before you leave for your vacation can we get

together and have lunch?
DARLENE: Sure. I'd love to.
KATIE: How about Friday? Say about 12:30 at my

place?
DARLENE: That sounds good. See you then.
The first invitation did not result in an appointment and was nothing
more than a "polite" expression. In the second dialogue a genuine
invitation was extended because Katie had a definite plan (a lunch date)
and a specific date, time, and place in mind (Friday, 12:30). If Katie had
said only, "Drop by," Darlene probably would not have visited Katie.
Generally, when people make invitations, they prefer to know the

response: "Yes, I can come" or "No, I can't come" soon after an invitation
is extended. This is particularly true of dinner and other formal
invitations. In a question of honesty versus politeness, honesty wins. It is
considered better to refuse graciously than to accept an invitation and not
go.
Invitations can be divided into two kinds:
- Definite invitations:
These invitations include yes/no questions which require specific

agreements. They both mention a time and a place.
HELAH: I wanted to ask you - are you and your husband free
on Saturday night?
TAMA: Yes, we are.
HELAH: Good. How would you like to go out with us?
TAMA: That's a good idea. I've been wanting to get together.

33
Do you want to go to dinner or just a movie . . . ?
OR
HELAH: We're going to a concert tomorrow night. Would you

like to join us?
Contrast these examples with the following indefinite invitations.
- Indefinite invitations:
Notice in the following three invitations, no specific mention of time or

place is made. The speakers do not come to an agreement as to when
they will get together.
RITA: Hi, Merritt.
MERRITT: Hi.
RITA: When are we going to get together?
MERRITT: We really should.
RITA: You know my office number. Just give me a

call.
MERRITT: OK.
RITA: Good-bye.
MERRITT: Bye.
OR
RITA: Listen, I have a lot to talk about to you. I think

we should have lunch together one day soon.
MERRITT: OK.
RITA: I'll call you.
OR
RITA: It has been a long time since we got together.
MERRITT: Why don't we?
34
RITA: I'd love to. But February is shot and March is
pretty full too. How about if we get together
sometime in the spring?
MERRITT: OK.
RITA: Good. I'll figure out a good time and call you.
MERRITT: Fine.
Notice what happens in the following invitations:
CHUCK: OK, good talking to you. Let's get together

some time.
SELMA: I'd love to.
CHUCK: Good. I'll call you soon and we'll have lunch
together.
SELMA: Great.
The same conversation could have had a very different result if Selma
had wanted a definite answer. Notice the results of the following
situation:
CHUCK: OK, let's get together soon. SELMA. I'd love to.
CHUCK: Good, I'll give you a call and we'll make a date
(appointment).
SELMA: If you want we can make a date now.
CHUCK: Oh, OK, let's do that - I'm available any day

next week. What about you?
SELMA: Wednesday at 12:00 is good for me.
CHUCK: OK, let's make it Wednesday.
SELMA: Great.
CHUCK: See you at noon Wednesday.
4. Speaking and Refraining from Speaking
Many rules governing speech patterns are learned in childhood and

people grow up thinking that everyone has the same rules for speaking.
People unconsciously expect others to use the same modes of expression
35
as they do. For instance, not all languages use silence and interruptions in
the same way. Have you observed the ways people from different
cultures use silence? Have you noticed that some people interrupt
conversations more than other people? All cultures do not have the same
rules governing these areas of communication.
Many people interpret silence in a conversation to mean disapproval,

disagreement, or unsuccessful communication. They often try to fill
silence by saying something even if they have nothing to say. On the
other hand, they don't appreciate a person who dominates a conversation.
Knowing when to take turns in conversation in another language can
sometimes cause difficulty. Should you wait until someone has finished a
sentence before contributing to a discussion, or can you break into the
middle of someone's sentence?
Interrupting someone who is speaking is considered rude in many

cultures, and even children are taught explicitly not to interrupt. In Japan,
each participant waits politely for a turn and knows exactly when the
time is right to speak. One’s turn depends on status, age, and the
relationship to the other person. Answer to questions are carefully
thought out, rather than blurted out. In Japanese conversations, long
silences are tolerated. For other peoples, especially the Australians and
Americans, even two or three seconds of silence can become
uncomfortable. They think that the Asian speaker appears too passive and
uninterested in the conversation. In return, according to some Japanese,
the Americans ask too many questions and do not give the other person
enough time to formulate a careful answer.
5. Different Ways of Expressing Common Needs
Individuals in every culture have similar basic needs but express them
differently. In daily life we all initiate conversation, use formal and
informal speech, give praise, express disagreement, seek information, and
extend invitations. Some of the verbal patterns we use are influenced by
our culture. Whereas directness in speech is common in the United
States, indirectness is the rule in parts of the Far East. Thus people from
both of these parts of the world would probably express criticism of
others differently. In parts of the Middle East a host is expected to offer
food several times but in the United States he may make an offer only
once or twice. The different modes of expression represent variations on
the same theme. Each language reflects and creates cultural attitudes;
each has a unique way of expressing human need.
Complimenting can be a way of initiating conversation (e.g., "Hi, how are

you? Those are beautiful earrings that you're wearing. Where are they
from?"). It is acceptable to compliment a person's material possessions
(e.g., home, decorations in the home, clothes, etc.). Too many
36
compliments given may be interpreted as insincere. Not enough
compliments may be interpreted as a sign of apathy or dislike. For
example: If a guest doesn't praise the quality of a dinner, the host might
feel that the guest didn't like it. However, in the Middle East you should
take care not to admire anything in your hosts' home. They will feel that
they have to give it
People in some parts of the world believe that compliments are dangerous
because they invite the "evil eye" (bad luck), therefore compliments in
these places are not given freely. In the United States this belief does not
exist. There are, however, no restrictions or superstitions related to the
number of compliments that can be given.
6. Language Style
In English, as in other languages, the types of vocabulary, structure,

and tone used in conversation vary with the situation. Compare the
ways that a request may be made; look at the vocabulary used and the
length of the sentence in each of the following examples:
I'm sorry to trouble you, but could you please tell me where the
library is? (formal)
Would you be so kind as to tell me where the library is?

(formal)
Where is the library, please? (semiformal)
Where's the library? (informal)
Learning different styles in a second language is not always easy. It is

necessary to know how to vary speech according to situations.
7. Initiating and Maintaining Conversations
Initiating and maintaining conversations is another skill that is needed

when one is learning a new language. In English one of the best ways of
initiating and maintaining a conversation is for at least one of the
speakers to ask the other questions and the other to add extra information
to a one-word response. This shows the interest in the conversation. Read
the following conversation and decide if there is a problem with it.
(Rick sees Debbie at a party and decides he would like to get to

know her.)
RICK: Hello. Where are you from?
DEBBIE: From New York.
37
RICK: Why did you come to California?
DEBBIE: To study.
RICK: Oh, what are you studying?
DEBBIE: Solar energy.
RICK: How long do you plan to stay here?
DEBBIE: Two years.
RICK: When did you come?
DEBBIE: Three weeks ago.
(Rick is already feeling frustrated. He decides it is not worth meeting

Debbie.)
One way of initiating and maintaining a conversation is to add extra

information to a one-word response. In the following conversation Judi
helps to maintain the conversation by giving more than a one- or two-
word response.
(Judi and Char have just met and have exchanged names.)
CHAR: Where do you work?
JUDI: I work at the university in San Diego. I'm a computer

operator.
CHAR: How's the weather in San Diego? I'm from San

Francisco.
JUDI: It's warm most of the time. For the past two winters
we've had a lot of rain.
8. Cultural Notes
1. There are several ways of requesting information in English. Note the

differences between the informal and formal language.
Informal
Can you give me directions to the city library, please?
Where is the cafeteria, please?
Do you have any information on universities in Northern

California?
38
Formal
Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Pardon me, may I interrupt you for a moment to ask you a

question?
Excuse me, would you mind closing the window (e.g. in a bus)?
2. In English favors may be requested formally and informally. Often

request for an important favor is more formal than a request for a less
important one.
Informal
Can I borrow your pen?
Would you lend me your library card?
Do you have an extra notebook that I could

use?
Do you mind if I return your book next

week?
Formal
1. May I please have a few extra days to complete my term

paper?
2. Would you mind giving me that information?
Very Formal
Would you be kind enough to direct me to the university

library?
May I ask you a favor? Would you mind contacting my parents

when you're in my country?
Exercises
1. Read the passages carefully, then choose the correct

answer
Passage 1:
If you invite an American friend to join you to have dinner in a

restaurant, phone the restaurant first to find out if you need a reservation
39
to avoid a long wait for table. To make a reservation, just give your
name, the number of people in your group, and the time you plan to
arrive. When you invite someone to have dinner, you should be prepared
to pay the bill and reach for it when it arrives. However, if your
companion insists on playing his or her share, do not get into argument
about it. Some people prefer to pay their own way so that they do not feel
indebted, and those feelings should be respected. In most American
restaurants, the waiter or waitress's tip is not added to the bill. If the
service was adequate, it is customary to leave a tip equal to about 15% of
the bill. In expensive restaurants, leave a bit more.
1. To make a reservation, you ………………………………………….
A. just give your name, the time you arrive and how many persons
there are in your group.
B. have to give your address, the time you arrive and how many
persons there are in your group.
C. just give your name, the time you arrive and your address.
D. just give your name, the time you arrive and your telephone
number.
2. When you invite an American friend to have dinner in a restaurant

…………………………………………………………………………….
A. a reservation is not necessary.
B. you should make a reservation.
C. there are always many tables available for you.
D. you always have to wait for a long time.
3. When you invite someone to have dinner, you

………………………………………………………………...
A. let him to pay himself.
B. should prepare to pay the bill.
C. give the bill to him.
D. share the bill with him.
4. If your companion insists on paying his share,

………………………………………….
A. do not agree.
40
B. it will be impolite.
C. you should let him pay as he expects.
D. you should get into argument with him.
5. In most American restaurants, ………………………………………….
A. the tip is added to the bill.
B. the tip is about 15% of the bill.
C. you should not give the tip to waiters or waitresses.
D. waiters and waitresses never get the tip.
Passage 2:
If you are invited to an American friend’s home for dinner, remember

these general rules for polite behaviour. First of all, arrive approximately
on time but not early. Americans expect promptness. It will be all right to
be 10 or 15 minutes late, but not 45 minutes late. When you are invited to
someone’s home for meal, it is polite to bring a small gift. Flowers and
candy are always appropriate. If you have something attractive made in
your country, your host or hostess will certainly enjoy receiving that gift.
What will you do if you are served some food that you cannot eat or you
do not like? Do not make a fuss about it. Simply eat what you can and
hope that no one noticed it. Be sure to complement the cook on the food
that you are enjoying. Do not leave immediately after dinner, but do not
over-stay your welcome, either. The next day, call or write a thank- you
note to say how much you enjoyed the evening.
1. If you are invited to American friend’s home,………….

A. politeness is not necessary
B. you should be late at least 45 minutes
C. you should go late a bit
D. punctuality is appreciated
2. When you come to someone’s house for dinner,………..

A. bring a lot of gifts
B. bring some flowers, candy or something made in your native
country
C. You should never offer any gift
D. do not care about gifts
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3. If there is some food that you cannot eat,………..
A. ask the host to cook you another dish
B. do not make a fuss about it
C. make a fuss about it
D. do not eat anything
4. Which sentence is NOT true?
A. You should not make someone notice that you do not like the food.
B. You should not compliment the cook on the food.
C. you should not overstay.
D. you should not leave immediately after dinner.
5. The next day, ……………
A. say nothing to the host
B. remember to thank to host for the dinner
C. you shouldn’t say thank- you
D. invite the host to your house.
Answer the following questions about your own culture and then discuss
intercultural similarities and differences.
1. Is it acceptable to interrupt others? If so, when?
2. Who can criticize whom? Under what circumstances? In

what manner do people make criticisms?
3. Are there different kinds of invitations extended in your

culture? Do they always result in a definite commitment
(e.g., "Yes, I will come on Saturday")?
4. How do people refuse invitations? Is it appropriate to insist

on someone's accepting an invitation if he or she has refused
several times?
5. In comparing English verbal patterns with those in your own

language, have you observed any differences or similarities
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(e.g., in giving opinions, asking advice, praising, boasting,
expressing modesty, complaining, etc.)?
3. Write a short composition to compare the addressing terms in the

English and Vietnamese culture
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References

2. Nguyen Quang (Com. & Ed.). Intercultural Communication.

Vietnam National University. Hanoi.
3. Novinger,T. (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical


Press(UK)

45
Unit 4: Non-verbal Communication
(5 hours)
1. Cultural Differences in Non-verbal Communication
2. Gestures
3. Facial Expressions
4. Eye Contact
5. Space
6. Clothing and Bodily Characteristics
7. Cultural Notes
Teacher:
I've been a teacher for ten years and I can always tell when
students don't know an answer in class discussion. They look
down at their notes, stare out the window, or fix their shoelaces -
but they never look me in the eye.
College Student:
Mary says she likes me, but I don't know how she really feels about
me. We've gone out three times and she rarely laughs at my jokes
or smiles at me. She always looks bored when I talk to her.
Customer:
Jane was at the store trying to decide which television set to buy. A
loud, overeager salesman approached her, waved his hands in her
face, and nearly stood on her feet. She became so uncomfortable
that she left the shop.
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Non-verbal communication is usually understood as the process of
communication through sending and receiving wordless messages. Such
messages can be communicated through gesture; body language or
posture; facial expression and eye contact; object communication such as
clothing, hairstyles or even architecture; symbols and info graphics.
Speech may also contain non-verbal elements known as paralanguage,
including voice quality, emotion and speaking style, as well as prosodic
features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Likewise, written texts
have non-verbal elements such as handwriting style, spatial arrangement
of words, or the use of emoticons. While much non-verbal
communication is based on arbitrary symbols, which differ from culture
to culture, a large proportion is also to some extent iconic and may be
universally understood.
Language studies traditionally have emphasized verbal and written

language, but recently have begun to consider communication that takes
place without words. In some types of communication people express
more non-verbally than verbally. If you ask an obviously depressed
person, "What's wrong?", and he answers, "Nothing, I'm fine," you
47
probably won't believe him. When an angry person says, "Let's forget
this subject, I don't want to talk about it anymore!" you know that he
hasn't stopped communicating. His silence and withdrawal continue to
convey emotional meaning.
Experts say that communication is composed of different methods:

words, voice, tone and non-verbal clues. Of these, some are more
effective in delivering a message than others. According to research, in a
conversation or verbal exchange:
Words are 7% effective
Tone of voice is 38% effective
Non-verbal clues are 55% effective.
Non-verbal clues include:
Body language (e.g., arms crossed, standing, sitting, relaxed,

tense),
Emotion of the sender and receiver (e.g., yelling, speaking

provocatively, enthusiastic)
Other connections between the people (e.g., friends, enemies,

professional similarities or differences, personal similarities or
differences, age similarities or differences, philosophical
similarities or differences, attitudes, expectations).
In other words, WHAT you say is not nearly as important as HOW you
say it! A dull message delivered by a charismatic person, filled with
energy and enthusiasm will be accepted as brilliant. An excellent
message delivered by someone who is not interested in the topic, will not
engage the enthusiasm of its intended audience.
Why was it such a great speech? It was filled with powerful visual
images that provoke strong emotions, delivered with passion by someone
who captured the dreams of an entire race. Over time, the speech has
transcended its original message to be a message of hope for all people,
regardless of race.
Non-verbal cues or behavior can carry negative meaning in certain

situations and in others, positive meaning. For instance, when a father
stares at his son who has just received an F (fail) on an exam, the father’s
stare conveys something negative. However, when a painter stares at a
model who is about to be painted, the painter's stare does not have
negative meaning. Apparently, we express our emotions and attitudes
more non-verbally than verbally.
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1. Cultural Differences in Non-verbal Communication
Non-verbal communication expresses meaning or feeling without words.

Universal emotions, such as happiness, fear, and sadness, are expressed
in a similar non-verbal way throughout the world. There are, however,
non-verbal differences across cultures that may be a source of confusion
for foreigners. For example, feelings of friendship exist everywhere but
their expression varies. It may be acceptable in some countries for men to
embrace each other and for women to hold hands; in other countries these
displays of affection may be shocking.
What is acceptable in one culture may be completely unacceptable in

another. One culture may determine that snapping fingers to call a waiter
is appropriate; another may consider this gesture rude. We are often not
aware of how gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and the use of
space affect communication. In order to correctly interpret another
culture's style of communication, it is necessary to study the "silent
language" of that culture.
2. Gestures
Gestures refer to specific body movements that carry meaning. Hands

can form shapes that convey many meanings: "That's expensive," "Come
here," "Go away," and "It's OK" can be expressed non-verbally using
only hands. The gestures for these phrases may differ among languages.
As children we imitate and learn these non-verbal movements and often
use them to accompany or replace words. When traveling to another
country, foreign visitors soon learn that not all gestures are universal.
49
Very few gestures are universally understood and interpreted. What is
perfectly acceptable in one country may be rude, or even obscene, in
other cultures. The "OK” gesture in the American culture is a symbol for
money in Japan. The same gesture is obscene in some Latin American
countries. This is why the editors of Latin American newspaper enjoyed
publishing a picture of former President Nixon giving the OK symbol
with both hands!
 Understanding different interpretations of common gestures
Body language could influence communication between cultures. Look at

the gestures below and explain what you think each gesture means.
Beckon with index finger
Point at something in the room using index finger
Make a "V" sign
Smile
Sit with sole of feet or shoe showing
Form a circle with fingers to indicate “O.K”
Pat a student on the head
Pass an item to someone with one hand
Wave hand with palm facing outward to greet someone
Nod head up and down to say “Yes”
Each of the following responses gives a general guide to cultural

differences in the meaning of gestures.
1. Beckon with index finger
This means “Come here” in the U.S. To motion with the index finger
to call someone is insulting, or even obscene, in many cultures.
Expect a reaction when you beckon to a student from the Middle or
Far East; Portugal, Spain, Latin America, Japan, Indonesia and Hong
Kong. It is more acceptable to beckon with the palm down, with
fingers or whole hand waving.
2. Point at something in the room using index finger
It is impolite to point with the index finger in the Middle and Far East.
Use an open hand or your thumb (in Indonesia)
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3. Make a "V" sign
This means "Victory" in most of Europe when you make this sign
with your palm facing away from you. If you face your palm in, the
same gesture means "Shove it."
4. Smile
This gesture is universally understood. However, it various cultures

there are different reasons for smiling. The Japanese may smile when
they are confused or angry. In other parts of Asia, people may smile
when they are embarrassed. People in other cultures may not smile at
everyone to indicate a friendly greeting as we do in the United States.
A smile may be reserved for friends. It is important not to judge
students or their parents because they do not smile, or smile at what
we would consider "inappropriate" times.
5. Sit with soles shoes showing
In many cultures this sends a rude message. In Thailand, Japan and

France as well as countries of the Middle and Near East showing the
soles of the feet demonstrates disrespect. You are exposing the lowest
and dirtiest part of your body so this is insulting. However, American
executives sometimes signal their feelings of ease and importance in
their offices by putting their feet on the desk whilst on the telephone.
6. Form a circle with fingers to indicate “O.K”
Although this means “O.K.” in the U.S. and in many countries around
the world, there are some notable exceptions:
In Brazil and Germany, this gesture is obscene
In Japan, this means “money”
In France, it has the additional meaning of “zero” or “worthless”
7. Pat a student on the head
This is very upsetting to students from Asia. The head is the

repository of the soul in the Buddhist religion. Children from cultures
which are influenced by Buddhism will feel uncomfortable if their
head is touched.
8. Pass an item to someone with one hand
In Japan this is very rude. Even a very small item such as a pencil
must be passed with two hands. In many Middle and Far Eastern
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countries it is rude to pass something with your left hand which is
considered “unclean.”
9. Wave hand with the palm facing outward to greet someone
In Europe, waving the hand back and forth can mean “No.” To wave
“good-bye,” raise the palm outward and wag the fingers in unison,
This is also a serious insult in Nigeria if the hand is too close to
another person’s face.
10. Nod head up and down to say “Yes”
In Bulgaria and Greece, this gesture means “No”
3. Facial Expressions
Facial expressions carry meaning determined by contexts and

relationships. Our faces easily reveal emotions and attitudes. For
instance, the smile, which is typically an expression of pleasure, has
many functions. A woman's smile at a policeman who is about to give
her a ticket does not carry the same meaning as the smile she gives to a
young child. A smile may show affection, convey politeness, or disguise
true feelings. Pain is conveyed by a grimace, which also signifies disgust
or disapproval. Surprise, shock, or disbelief can be shown by raising the
eyebrows. A wink given to a friend may mean "You and I have a secret"
or "I'm just kidding." Between a man and a woman, a wink can be
flirtatious. However, In Pakistan you mustn't wink as it is considered
offensive.
The degree of facial expressiveness also varies among individuals and

cultures. The fact that members of one culture do not express their
emotions as openly as members of another does not mean they do not
experience emotions. Rather, there are cultural restraints on the
amount of non-verbal expressiveness permitted. Given individual
differences, it is difficult to make generalizations about a cultural
style of communication. Americans express themselves facially in
52
varying degrees. People from certain ethnic backgrounds in the
United States may use their hands, bodies and faces more than other
Americans. There are no fixed rules, although it is considered
negative or suspicious to have a "deadpan" expression or a "poker
face." Some people can be "read like a book"; others are difficult to
read.
4. Eye Contact
Eye is one of the most important nonverbal channels you have for
communication and connecting with other people. "The cheapest, most
effective way to connect with people is to look them into the eye." Eyes
are not only the "window to the soul", they also answer the critical
questions when you are trying to connect.
Eye contact is important because insufficient or excessive eye

contact may create communication barriers. It is important in
relationships because it serves to show intimacy, attention, and
influence. As with facial expressions, there are no specific rules
governing eye behavior except that it is considered rude to stare,
especially at strangers. It is, however, common for two strangers to
walk toward each other, make eye contact, smile and perhaps even
say "Hi." The strangers may immediately look away and forget that
they even had any contact. This type of glance does not mean much;
it is simply a way of acknowledging another person’s presence. If you
look at other people’s eyes when you talk, people will think that you are
open, friendly, self-confident, natural and sincere. In a conversation too
little eye contact may be seen negatively because it conveys lack of
interest, inattention, or even mistrust. People might think that you are
cold, defensive, and you do not really care about them or the conversation.
The relationship between mistrust and lack of eye contact is stated directly
53
in the expression, "Never trust a person who can't look you in the
eyes.”
In English culture, a certain amount of eye contact is required, but too

much look makes many people uncomfortable. Most English people
make eye contact at the beginning and then let their gaze drift to the side
periodically to avoid 'staring the other person out'.
5. Space
Unconsciously, we all carry with us what have been called "body

bubbles." These bubbles are like invisible walls which define our
personal space. The amount of space changes depending on the inter-
personal relationship. For example, we are usually more comfortable
standing closer to family members than to strangers. Personality also
determines the size of this space. Introverts often prefer to interact
with others at a greater distance than extroverts. Cultural styles are
important too. A Japanese employer and employee usually stand
farther apart while talking than their American counterparts. Latin
Americans and Arabs tend to stand closer together than Americans when
talking.
For Americans, distance in social conversation is about an arm's

length to four feet. Less space in the American culture may be
associated with greater intimacy or aggressive behavior. The
common practice of saying "Excuse me," or "Pardon me" for the
slightest accidental touching of another person reveals an American
attitude about personal space. Thus when a person's "space" is
intruded upon by someone, he or she may feel threatened and react
defensively. In cultures where close physical contact is acceptable
and desirable, Americans may be perceived as cold and distant.
Culture does not always determine the messages that our body
movements convey. Contexts, personalities, and relationships also
influence them. Therefore, no two people in any one society have
the same non-verbal behavior. However, like verbal language, non-
verbal communication cannot be completely separated from
culture. Whether we emphasize differences or similarities, the
"silent language" is much louder than it first appears.
6. Clothing and Bodily Characteristics
Uniforms have both a functional and a communicative purpose. This

man's clothes identify him as male and a police officer; his badges and
shoulder sleeve insignia give information about his job and rank.
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Elements such as physique, height, weight, hair, skin color, gender, odors,
and clothing send non-verbal messages during interaction. For example,
research into height has generally found that taller people are perceived as
being more impressive. Melamed & Bozionelos (1992) studied a sample
of managers in the UK and found that height was a key factor affecting
who was promoted. Often people try to make themselves taller, for
example, standing on a platform, when they want to make more of an
impact with their speaking.
7. Cultural Notes
1. In France you shouldn't sit down in a cafe until you've shaken

hands with everyone you know.
2. In the Middle East you must never use the left hand for greeting,
eating, drinking, or smoking.
3. In Russia you must match your hosts drink for drink or they will
think you are unfriendly
4. In America you should eat your hamburger with both hands and
as quickly as possible. You shouldn't try to have a conversation until it
is eaten.
5. Taking off your jacket and rolling up your sleeves is a sign of

gelling down to work in Britain and Holland, but in Germany people
regard it taking it easy.
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6. The Japanese have perhaps the strictest rules of social and
business behavior. Seniority is very important and a younger man
should never be sent to complete a business deal with an older
Japanese man. The Japanese business card almost needs a rulebook of
its own. You must exchange business cards immediately on meeting
because it is essential to establish everyone's status and position. When
it is handed to a person in a superior position, it must be given and
received with both hands, and you must take time to read it carefully,
and not just put it in your pocket!
Exercises
1. Read the passages carefully and choose the best

option
Passage 1:
Body postures and movements are frequently indicators of self-

confidence, energy, fatigue, or status. Cognitively, gestures operate to
clarify, contradict, or replace verbal messages. Gestures also serve an
important function with regard to regulating the flow of conversation. For
example, if a student is talking about something in front of the class,
single nods of the head from the teacher will likely cause that student to
continue and perhaps more elaborate. Postures as well as gestures are
used to indicate attitudes, status, affective moods, approval, deception,
warmth, arid other variables related to conversation interaction.
The saying "A picture is worth a thousand words" well describes the
meaning of facial expressions. Facial appearance - including wrinkles,
muscle tone, skin coloration, and eye color-offers enduring cues that
reveille information about age, sex, race, ethnic origin, and status.
A less permanent second set of facial cues-including length of hair,

hairstyle, cleanliness, and facial hair-relate to an individual's idea of
beauty. A third group of facial markers are momentary expressions that
signal that cause changes in the forehead, eyebrows, eyelids, cheeks,
nose, lips, and chin, such as raising the eyebrows, wrinkling the brow,
curling the lip.
Some facial expressions are readily visible, while others are fleeting.
Both types can positively or negatively reinforce the spoken words and
convey cues concerning emotions and attitudes.
1. Gestures _________.
A. can do nothing with a conversation
B. can clarify the meaning of verbal messages.

56
C. may interrupt the flow of a conversation
D. can end a conversation more quickly than usual
2. A nod of the head from the teacher will likely ask his student to
_______ what he is saying.
A. go on C. put off
B. give up D. throwaway
3. According to the writer, "A picture is worth a thousand words" means

_______.
A. a picture of a face is more valuable than a thousand words
B. a picture is more important than a thousand words
C. facial gestures can convey a lot of meanings
D. he has just bought a picture with a thousand words on it
4. How many categories of facial expressions are mentioned?
A. 2 C. 4
B. 3 D. 5
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5. Facial expressions _________.
A. cannot convey emotions
B. cannot reinforce spoken words
C. can only express negative attitudes
D. can be either visible or fleeting
Passage 2:
Fill in each numbered blank with one suitable word or phrase.
The most dominant and reliable features of facial expressions provide a

constant channel of communication. They can be shifty and evasive;
convey hate, fear, and guilt; or (1) _____ confidence, love, and support.
Referred to as "mirrors of the soul" our eyes serve as the major decisive
factor in (2) _____ the spoken words. The eyes of the man converse as (3)
_____ as their tongues, with the advantage that the ocular dialect needs (4)
_____ dictionary, but it is understood all over the world. When the eyes
say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on eyes.
Except (5) _____ extremely shy individuals, most people look for social
acceptance by studying the eyes of others. Eyes also can (6) _____ indicate
a positive or a negative relationship. People tend to look longer and more
often at the people whom they trust, respect and care about than at those
whom they doubt or (7) _____. Normal eye dilation is not under control of
the individual. Personally characteristics such as introversion and
extroversion also influence eye behavior. Eye behavior seems (8) ____
particular importance and is generally used to indicate whether one is open
to communication. This can be observed when a teacher asks the class a
question: students who think they know the answer will generally (9) ____
at the teacher, (10) ____ students who do not know the answer will usually
try to avoid eye contact.
1. a. replace b. report c. consider d. express
2. a. interpreting b. changing c. exchanging d. transporting
3. a. much b. many c. more d. a lot
4. a. not b. nor c. no d. none
5. a. in b. for c. of d. with
6. a. accurate b. accuracy
c. accurately d. inaccurate
7. a. love b. long c. wait d. dislike
8. a. to be b. be c. being d. been
9. a. notice b. look c. think d. aim
10. a. as b. while c. so d. because
1. Do you recall from your childhood how you learned aspects of non-
verbal language (space, gesture, etc.)?
2. Are there any expressions or proverbs in Vietnamese that say

something about non-verbal communication?
3. What kind of impressions do people form of one another based on

non-verbal behavior (e.g., “I don’t trust him because he stares at
people.”)?
4. What should a foreigner learn about non-verbal communication in

Vietnam before coming here?
5. What does silence indicate in conversations? Does it always

indicate the same thing (e.g., approval or disapproval)?
3. Write a short composition about non-verbal communication in the

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References

Intercultural Communication for English as a Second Language. P
Brown, P & Levinson, S. C. (1987). Politeness: Some universals in
language usage. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
2. Melamed, J. & Bozionelos, N. (1992) Managerial Promotion and

Height. Psychological Reports, 71 pp. 587–593.

4. Novinger, T. (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical Guide.


Press(UK)

7. Ex 1:
8. Passage 1: 1B 2A 3C 4B 5D
9. Passang 2: 1D 2A 3A 4C 5B 6C 7D 8A 9B 10B
10. Ex 2:
11. 3. I'm annoyed with him because he points at someone using

index finger.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication
Unit 5: Personal Relationships
(2.5 hours)
1. Circles of Friends
2. Mobility and Friendship
3. Male – Female Relationships
4. Intercultural Friendships
5. Cultural Notes
What is meant by the word “friend”? The dictionary defines it as: “one
attached to another by affection or esteem.” English speakers use the word
freely - that is, a friend may or may not be a person to whom there is a
great attachment. A friend might be a casual acquaintance or an intimate
companion. Friends may have known each other since childhood or they
may have recently met.
It is difficult to formulate a precise definition of this word as it is used,
because it covers many types of relationships. “My friend and I went to the
show last night.” “My friends gave me the name of a good doctor.” “My
friend consoled me when I was depressed.” We hear such daily references
to the word “friend” without knowing the quality of the friendship
1. Circles of Friends
It is common to have different “circles of friends” such as church friends,

work friends or sports friends. A person may choose not to involve
members of different circles in the same activity. One’s friends from the
office may never meet one’s friends from the sports club. Terms such as
“office mate” and “tennis partner” indicate the segregation of friends. The
office mate is a friend in the office and the tennis partner is a friend on the
courts. People have different types of friends: one may have many good
friends and one best friend. “Best friends” are usually two people of the
same sex who have known each other for a long period of time. People
usually have more casual friends than close or best friends.
2. Mobility and Friendship
The Americans are geographically mobile and learn to develop friendships

easily and quickly. Approximately one out of every five American families
moves every year. People relocate because they begin new jobs, attend
distant colleges, get married, have children or simply want a change in their
lives. Perhaps as a consequence of this, people form and end friendships
quickly. Students attending two or three universities during their
undergraduate and graduate years may change their circles of friends
several times.
Relationships based on a common activity may fade or end when the
activity ends. Students might meet in classes and remain friends for the
duration of the course and then stop seeing each other after the final
examination. The same holds true for neighbors who are the closest of
friends until one moves away. In these friendships, shared daily
experiences form the foundation for the relationship. Enduring friendships
develop when individuals have similar interests and a common outlook on
life. The high rate of mobility in the United States can explain a great deal
about transient friendships.
It is easy to be misled by instant friendships which may appear to be deep

and personal but are really superficial. Friendship and friendliness are not
synonymous. Friendliness characterizes much of the daily interaction but is
not always an indication of friendship. Strangers may share life histories
without any intention of pursuing a relationship. Characterizing instant
friendships is the appearance of two people becoming close but, in reality,
there is no strong bond between them. Brief encounters do not always
imply desire for further contact. Many people frequently smile or say,
“Have a nice day” or “See ya later,” or even extend an invitation as part of
a cultural pattern of politeness. Such expressions do not always suggest an
offer of continued friendship
3. Male-Female Relationships
In English-speaking countries, men and women socialize relatively freely
and develop a variety of relationships. Single people of opposite sexes may
be close friends and share personal problems with each other without being
romantically involved. There are no fixed rules for romantic or intimate
relationships but there are restraints. Men and women interact in varying
degrees of intensity. Dating may be serious or casual. A couple may
terminate a relationship after three dates or may date steadily and
exclusively for a long period of time. They may date with or without the
intention of getting married. Alternatively, people may choose to have
multiple dating partners so as not to become too seriously involved with
one person. The commitment and obligations of people who are dating
depend principally on the couple’s attitude.
Married men and women sometimes consider each other best friend as well
as spouses. They also socialize with members of the opposite se either as
couples or independently. (A working wife may have a close male friend at
her job.) This does not mean that there are no constraints on the married
man or women. The limitations of these relationships are not always visible
but they do exist. Most, but not all, married couples practice monogamous
relationships.
4. Intercultural Friendships
With foreign visitors (students, business people, tourists), Americans may

not always be the first ones to begin friendships. It is possible that some
Americans, because of their linguistic and geographic isolation, are hesitant
about interacting with foreigners. However, it is important to know that
Americans are receptive to developing friendships with international
visitors. In general, it is advisable to approach Americans first in order to
initiate friendships. One foreign student, after having lived in the United
States for several years, said that the most important advice he could give
to newcomers would be, “Don’t be passive when it comes to making
friends with Americans. Begin conversations, extend invitations and make
the first move.”
A characteristic of American personal relations is the absence of fixed rules

governing them. Therefore, a variety of friendships are possible in the
United States. Even within a person’s own culture, recognizing when a
relationship has the potential to develop into a friendship is not always
easy. When one is living in a foreign country, one is faced with unfamiliar
friendship patterns which add to the challenge of initiating and maintaining
meaningful relationships.
Case Studies
Try to identify the problem(s) and the misinterpretation(s) in the following

situations.
A DATE WITH MONA
John: an American student abroad
Mona: a classmate from the country in which John is studying
John is abroad studying history and languages. It is in his history class

that he becomes friendly with a young woman, Mona. John soon discovers
that Mona’s father is one of the country’s well-known historians and that
he has written several books. Since John is interested in history, Mona
invites him to her home to have dinner and meet her family. The warmth
and friendliness of the family is exceeded only by the huge feast Mona’s
mother prepares. John is very happy. He doesn’t have much chance to
meet Mona’s mother and sisters since they eat in another room.
Nevertheless, he has a pleasant discussion with her father and two
brothers. Later that evening he is able to talk with Mona in her parents’
presence.
A few weeks later Mona invites John to another elaborate meal and
discussion with her father. Again, the women disappear after serving the
meal. However, this time the father and brothers must leave early. Mona
joins John and they spend the evening talking alone in the living room
while Mona’s mother is working in the kitchen.
John wants to express his appreciation to Mona and invites her to his
apartment for dinner. John tells Mona that although he lives alone in a
small apartment and cooking is difficult, he would like to try cooking a
meal for her. He jokingly tells Mona, “Maybe you can teach me how to
prepare your food properly!” Suddenly, Mona gets very angry and says, “I
didn’t know you thought I was that kind of girl!” She walks away almost
crying. John asks himself, “What did I do wrong?”
First analyse why Mona is hurt and angry. Then consider the following
questions:
1. What special rules or customs seem to govern hospitality and eating

in Mona’s family?
2. John thought that he could extend this kind of dinner invitation to an

American woman and so he assumed he could do the same with Mona.
What was wrong with his assumption?
3. What do you think are the rules governing male—female

relationships in Mona’s culture? What other ways might John have
shown his appreciation to Mona?
A FRIEND OF A FRIEND
Michael: an American graduate student abroad
Mr. Umm: Michael’s best friend in the foreign country
Mr. Tahh: Mr. Umm’s older friend
Michael is a graduate student in a foreign university. He is a good friend

of Mr. Umm, who lives in the dormitory for graduate students. They share
a similar sense of humor and enjoy many activities together. Since Michael
is interested in architecture, Mr. Umm decides that it would be a good idea
for Michael to meet his older friend Mr. Tahh, a professor of design at the
university. First he tells Michael all about Mr. Tahh’s architectural
research. As it turns out, Mr. Tahh’s research is exactly what Michael
needs for his thesis.
Michael is so excited that the next day he goes directly to Mr. Tahh’s
office, introduces himself, and briefly mentions Mr. Umm’s name. The two
men spend several hours discussing their research ideas.
That evening Michael tells Mr. Umm how much he enjoyed meeting Mr.
Tahh. Mr. Umm reacts coldly: “Yes, I heard you both met. I hope your
research goes well.” His serious tone tells Michael that something is
wrong, but Michael has no idea what the problem might be.
First analyze Mr. Umm’s reaction and Michael’s confusion. Then consider
the following questions:
1. What do you think might be the rules for introductions in Mr.

Umm’s culture?
2. Michael met Mr. Tahh as he might have met a professor in his

American university. Why was this inappropriate in Mr. Umm’s
culture? How might Michael have avoided the problem?
LUNCHEON DATE
Randy: an American student
Suun: a male foreign student in the United States
Randy has been working for two months with Suun on a class project. They
enjoy working on the project and studying for the exams together. Suun is
eager to become close friends with Randy. One day, Suun invites Randy to
lunch. Randy declines and tells his classmate that he has work to do and
football practice to go to later that day.
That afternoon, Suun sees Randy with his girlfriend in a nearby coffee
shop. The next week in class Randy senses that Suun is not interested in the
class project any more. It seems that Suun is trying to avoid him. Randy
can’t understand what has happened to their relationship.
First analyse Suun’s reaction and Randy’s confusion. Then consider the
following questions:
1. What type of friendship did the foreign student want? What type of
friendship did Randy want?
2. Why didn’t Randy decline Suun’s invitation honestly?
3. How do you decline invitations without hurting people?
M
ALIYTA’S PARTY EXPERIENCE
Maliyta: a newly arrived foreign student in the United States

Jan: Maliyta’s American friend
Maliyta is anxious to make friends at school. Her friend Jan invites her to
a party where she is the only international guest. At the party she meets
several people who ask her many questions and show a deep interest in her
culture. Some of them tell her to “drop by” their apartments and say that
they hope to see her at school. She gives her apartment number to several
people and tells them to come by her house, which is near the school.
Several weeks pass but nobody from the party comes to Maliyta’s house
except Jan. Maliyta wants to ask her friend why the other American
students don’t come to visit her but she is too hurt and proud to ask. Jan
knows Maliyta feels lonely but she can’t understand why. At school
Maliyta is well-liked by her classmates. Jan also remembers that her
friends really enjoyed meeting Malivta at the party.
First analyse the problem and then consider the following questions:
3. Do you think the Americans at the party were insincere or sincere in

their interest in Maliyta’s culture?
4. Why didn’t the people Malivta met at the party “drop by” her house?
What do you think happens in Malivta’s country when people invite
others to “come by”?
5. What could Jan have told Malivta to help her understand American
friendships?
5. Culture Notes
1. In the United States the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are used
differently depending on which sex uses the words. If a man uses the
term “girlfriend” or a woman uses the term “boyfriend,” romantic
involvement is implied. However, a woman may say, “I’m going to
meet my girlfriend today” (meaning a close friend); but most males
would not say. “I’m going to meet my boyfriend.” Instead, they would
say, “I’m going to meet a friend of mine today.”
2. Traditionally the man took the initiative to invite a woman on a date.

This tradition is changing. It is becoming more common for a woman to
ask a man out. The invitation does not always imply a romantic interest,
but may be a way of “getting to know someone.”
3. A changing custom that can create problems for both men and
women is the question of “who pays for whom?” on dates. Traditionally
men have paid the expenses on dates regardless of whether the couple’s
relationship is intimate or merely friendly. Currently some women feel
more comfortable paying for themselves and may occasionally pay for
the man. “Dutch treat” refers to a date where each individual pays for
him/herself. There are no fixed rules for payment.
4. Gift-giving to friends is not marked by any fixed rules. Usually, gift-

giving occurs on special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries,
weddings, and holidays. Outside of these occasions gift-giving is less
prescribed:
Dates: Usually gifts are not exchanged with one’s date or the parents of
the date.
Dinner invitation at home: Here it may be appropriate to bring a “token”
gift such as flowers, wine, or candy.
5. Extended visits/host families: If one is invited for an extended stay in

someone’s home two days or more), a gift is appropriate. This gift could
be a nice present, a restaurant invitation, or even an offer to cook dinner
for the family. (The host/hostess may refuse the offer).
6. Friends may not always seek help and advice from other friends.
Occasionally professional guidance will be sought to resolve personal
problems. Professional guidance offers an alternative for people who do
not wish to “burden their friends” or for people who need expert advice.
Family, marital, and school counselors, private therapists, psychologists,
and social workers are a few examples of people who offer professional
guidance.
Exercises
1. Read the passages carefully and choose the best option
Passage 1:
In the past, both men and women were expected to be married at quite
young ages. Marriages were generally arranged by parents and family, with
their children having little chance to say no in the matter. In the past it was
not surprising to find that a bride and groom had only just met on the day
of their engagement or marriage.
In modern Vietnam, this has changed completely as people choose their

own marriage-partners based on love, and in consideration primarily to
their own needs and wants. Moreover early marriage is quite illegal.
The traditional Vietnamese wedding is one of the most important of

traditional Vietnamese occasions. Regardless of westernization, many of
the age-old customs practiced in a traditional Vietnamese wedding continue
to be celebrated by both Vietnamese in Vietnam and overseas, often
combining both western and eastern elements. Besides the wedding
ceremony, there is also an engagement ceremony which takes place usually
half a year or so before the wedding. Due to the spiritual nature of the
occasion, the date and time of the marriage ceremony are decided in
advance by a fortune teller. The traditional Vietnamese wedding consists of
an extensive array of ceremonies: the first is the ceremony to ask
permission to receive the bride, the second is the procession to receive the
bride (along with the ancestor ceremony at her house), the third is to bring
the bride to the groom's house for another ancestor ceremony and to
welcome her into the family, then the last is a wedding banquet. The
number of guests in attendance at these banquets is huge, usually in the
hundreds. Several special dishes are served. Guests are expected to bring
gifts, often money, which the groom and bride at one point in the banquet
will go from table to table collecting.
1. In the past, _________.
A. Vietnamese couples were free to make a decision on the marriage
B. Vietnamese marriage was decided by parents and family
C. getting married at an early age was not allowed
D. parents had no right to interfere their children's marriage
2. In former days, the fact that a bride and groom had only first met just
on the day of their engagement or marriage was _________.
A. surprising B. popular
C. uncommon D. strange
3. Which sentence is referred Vietnamese modern marriage?
A. Most young people do not have their marriage based on love.
B. All marriages are arranged by parents and family.
C. Marriage is quite westernization.
D. Couples do not get married at quite young ages.
4. According to the passage, __________.
A. Oversea Vietnamese people do not like to organize a traditional

wedding
B. There is an engagement ceremony which takes place usually half a

year or so before the wedding
C. Many of the age-old customs practiced in a traditional Vietnamese
wedding do not exist nowadays
D. Vietnamese people never ask a fortune teller the date and time of the
marriage ceremony
5. Which does not exist in a Vietnamese wedding party?
A. firecrackers B. guests C. dishes D. gifts
Passage 2:
If you are invited to an American friend’s home for dinner, remember
these general rules for polite behaviour. First of all, arrive approximately
on time but not early. Americans expect promptness. It will be all right to
be 10 or 15 minutes late, but not 45 minutes late. When you are invited to
someone’s home for meal, it is polite to bring a small gift. Flowers and
candy are always appropriate. If you have something attractive made in
your country, your host or hostess will certainly enjoy receiving that gift.
What will you do if you are served some food that you can not eat or you
do not like? Do not make a fuss about it. Simply eat what you can and
hope that no one noticed it. Be sure to complement the cook on the food
that you are enjoying. Do not leave immediately after dinner, but do not
over-stay your welcome, either. The next day, call or write a thank- you
note to say how much you enjoyed the evening.
1. If you are invited to American friend’s home,………….

A. politeness is not necessary
B. you should be late at least 45 minutes
C. you should go late a bit
D. punctuality is appreciated
2. When you come to someone’s house for dinner,………..
A. bring a lot of gifts
B. bring some flowers, candy or something made in your native country
C. You should never offer any gift
D. do not care about gifts
3. If there is some food that you cannot eat,………..
A. ask the host to cook you another dish
B. do not make a fuss about it
C. make a fuss about it
D. do not eat anything
4. Which sentence is NOT true?
A. You should not make someone notice that you do not like the food.
B. You should not compliment the cook on the food.
C. you should not overstay.
D. you should not leave immediately after dinner.
5. The next day, ……………
A. say nothing to the host
B. remember to thank to host for the dinner
C. you shouldn’t say thank- you
D. invite the host to your house.
intercultural similarities and differences:
1. If dating is an institution in your country, when do people begin to

date? Are the rules for dating the same for men and women?
2. How important is dating? What are other ways that men and women
meet?
3. What are common dating activities? Are chaperones present on

dates? What role do parents play in dating? Does the man have to
meet the parents before he takes the woman out?
4. Can the couple see each other often or even live together before
marriage?
5. How are marriage partners found or arranged in Vietnam?
6. What are marriage ceremonies in your country?
3. Write a short composition about the male – female relations in

different cultures
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References


3. Novinger, T. (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical


Press(UK)
Unit 6: Family Values
(2.5 hours)
1. Family Values
2. Child Raising
3. Young Adulthood
4. The Elderly
5. The Nuclear and the Extended Family
6. Family Roles
7. Stability and Change in the Family
8. Cultural Notes
1. Family Values
The concept of "family values" is rooted in each individual culture thus

making the values different for different societies. In addition, cultures
change over time in response to economic, political, and cultural
developments. Therefore, "family values" vary from household to
household, from country to country, and from generation to generation.
Family values is a political and social concept used in various cultures to

describe values that are believed to be traditional in that culture and in
support of the idea that nuclear families are the basic units of culture. The
phrase has different meanings in different cultures. In the late 20 th and early
21st centuries, the term has been frequently used in political debate,
especially by social and religious conservatives, who believe that the world
has seen a decline in family values since the end of the Second World War.
Because the term is vague, and means different things to different people,
"family values" has been described as a political buzzword, power word, or
codeword predominantly used by right-wing or conservative political
parties and media providers.
Some Political Concepts of "Family Values" in Some Countries:
 Australian Politics
The Family First Party originally contested the 2002 South Australian state
election, where former Assemblies of God pastor Dr Andrew Evans won
one of the eleven seats in the 22-seat South Australian Legislative Council
on 4 percent of the state-wide vote. The party made their federal debut at
the 2004 general election, electing Steve Fielding on 2 percent of the
Victorian vote in the Australian Senate, out of six Victorian senate seats up
for election. Both MPs were able to be elected with Australia's Single
transferable Vote and Group voting ticket system in the upper house. The
party:
 Opposes abortion
 Opposes euthanasia
 Opposes harm reduction, favouring prevention, zero tolerance,

rehabilitation, and avoidance
 Opposes gay adoptions, in vitro fertilisation, (IVF) for gay couples,

and does not acknowledge gay civil unions
In the 2007 Australian Election, Family First came under fire for giving
preferences in some areas to the Liberty and Democracy Party, a libertarian
party that favors legalization of incest, gay marriage, and drug use.
 British Politics
Family values were a recurrent theme in the Conservative government of

John Mayor. Predictably, it caused considerable embarrassment whenever a
member of the Government was found to be having an affair. John Major
himself, the architect of the policy, was subsequently found to have had an
affair with Edwina Currie. Family Values have been revived by the current
Conservative Party under David Cameron, forming the backbone of his
mantra on social responsibility and related policies.
 Chinese Culture and Confucianism

In Confucian thought, family values, familial relationships, ancestor
workshop, and filial piety (Chinese: Mandarin: Xiào; Cantonese: Haau) are
the primary basis of the philosophical system, and these concepts are seen
as virtues to be cultivated.
Filial piety is considered the first virtue in Chinese culture. While China
has always had a diversity of religious beliefs, filial piety has been common
to almost all of them; for example, Historian Hugh D. R. Baker calls
respect for the family the only element common to almost all Chinese
believers. These traditions were sometimes enforced by law; during parts of
the Han Dynasty, for example, those who neglected ancestor worship could
even be subject to corporal punishment.
The term "filial", meaning "of a child", denotes the respect and obedience
that a child, originally a son, should show to his parents, especially to his
father. This relationship was extended by analogy to a series of five
relationships or five cardinal relationships:
1. ruler and subject
2. father and son
3. husband and wife
4. elder and younger brother
5. friend and friend
Specific duties were prescribed to each of the participants in these sets of

relationships. Such duties were also extended to the dead, where the living
stood as sons to their deceased family. This led to the veneration of
ancestors. In time, filial piety was also built into the Chinese legal system:
a criminal would be punished more harshly if the culprit had committed the
crime against a parent, while fathers exercised enormous power over their
children. Much the same was true of other unequal relationships.
This theme consistently manifests itself in many aspects of East Asian

culture even to this day, with extensive filial duties on the part of children
toward parents and elders, and greater concern of parents toward their
children than found in modern American or European cultures.
 U.S. Politics
- Republican Party
Since 1980, the Republican Party has used the issue of family values to
attract socially conservative voters. While family values remains a rather
vague concept, social conservatives usually understand the term to include
some combination of the following principles (also referenced in the 2004
Republican Party platform):
 Promotion of traditional marriage and opposition to adultery
 Opposition to same-sex marriage
 Support for traditional education and parental involvement in that

education
 Support for policies that encourage "adoption over abortion"
 Support for behavior identified as traditional or moral such as

respect, discipline, attentiveness, religious commitment
 Support for healthy choices such as a nutritious diet, medical
screenings, and physical activity
 Support for "abstinence education" exclusively regarding risks

associated with early sexual activity such as teen pregnancies and sexually
transmitted diseases while not teaching such topics of sex education as
human sexual behavior, safe sex and birth control.
 Support for policies that are said to protect children from obscenity
and exploitation.
- Democratic Party
Although the term "family values" remains a core issue for the Republican
Party, in recent years the Democratic Party has also used the term, though
differing in its definition. For example, in his acceptance speech at the
2004 Democratic National Convention, John Kerry, said "it is time for
those who talk about family values to start valuing families." The
Democratic definitions of family values often include items that
specifically target working families such as a support of a "living wage" as
well as universal health care.
- American Family
(Levine & Adelman,1982, p 88)

What trends do you notice in the graphs? What do they say about the
American family? Graphs can illustrate changes in the society but do not
explain them. In order to understand the American family we need to go
beyond statistics and explore values concerning children, young adults, the
elderly and family structure.
2. Child Raising
Acculturation, which begins at birth, is the process of teaching new

generations of children the customs and values of the parents’ culture. How
people treat newborns, for example, can be indicative of cultural values. It
is not uncommon for parents to put a newborn in a separate room that
belongs only to the child. This helps to preserve parents’ privacy and
allows the child to get used to having his or her own room, which is seen as
a first step toward personal independence. Americans traditionally have
held independence and a closely- related value, individualism, in high
esteem. Parents try to instill these prevailing values in their children.
American English expresses these value preferences: children should “cut
the (umbilical) cord” and are encouraged not to be “tied to their mothers’
apron strings.” In the process of their socialization children learn to “look
out for number one” and to “stand on their own two feet.”
Many children are taught at a very early age to make decisions and
responsible for their actions. Often children work for money outside the
home as a first step to establishing autonomy. Nine or ten-year-old children
may deliver newspapers in their neighborhoods and save or spend their
earnings. Teenagers (13 to 18 years) may babysit at neighbors’ homes in
order to earn a few dollars a week. Receiving a weekly allowance at an
early age teaches children to budget their money, preparing them for future
financial independence. Many parents believe that managing money helps
children learn responsibility as well as appreciate the value of money.
3. Young Adulthood
Upon reaching an appropriate age (usually between 18 and 21 years),

children are encouraged, but not forced, to “leave the nest” and begin an
independent life. After children leave home they often find social
relationships and financial support outside the family. Parents do not
arrange marriages for their children, nor do children usually ask permission
of their parents to get married. Romantic love is most often the basis for
marriage; young adults meet their future spouses through other friends, at
school, at jobs, and in organizations and religious institutions. Although
children choose their own spouses, they still hope their parents will
approve of their choices.
In any families, parents feel that children should make major life decisions
by themselves. A parent may try to influence a child to follow a particular
profession but the child is free to choose another career. Sometimes
children do precisely the opposite of what their parents wish in order to
assert their independence. A son may deliberately decide not to go into his
father’s business because of a fear that he will lose his autonomy in his
father’s workplace. This independence from parents is not an indication
that parents and children do not love each other. Strong love between
parents and children is universal and this is no exception in the American
family. Coexisting with such love in the American family are cultural
values of self-reliance and independence.
4. The Elderly
Societal and familial treatment of the elderly also reflects this

independence and individualism. Their financial support is often provided
by social security or welfare systems which decrease dependence on their
family. Additionally, older people may seek their own friends rather than
become too emotionally dependent on their children. Senior citizens
centers provide a means for peer-group association within one’s own age
group. There are problems, however, with growing old. Glorification of
youth and indifference to the aged have left many older people alienated
and alone.
Some families send their older relatives to nursing homes rather than
integrate them into the homes of the children or grandchildren. This
separation of the elderly from the young has contributed to the isolation of
an increasingly large segment of society. On the other hand, there are many
older people who choose to live in retirement communities where they have
the companionship of other older people and the convenience of many
recreational and social activities close to home.
5. The Nuclear and the Extended Family
The treatment of the elderly can be further understood by distinguishing

between nuclear and extended family structures. The nuclear family, which
consists of the father, the mother, and the children, is considered “the
family.” The extended family, common in other cultures, includes
grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, and in-laws. The
distinction between the nuclear and extended family is important because it
suggests the extent of family ties and obligations. In extended families the
children and parents have strong ties and obligations to relatives. It is
common in these families to support older family members, to have
intensive contact with relatives, and to establish communal housing.
The nuclear family usually has its own separate residence and is
economically independent of other family members. Relatives are still
considered “family” but are often outside the basic obligations that people
have to their immediate families. When couples marry, they are expected to
live independently of their parents and become “heads of households”
when they have children. It is not unusual in times of financial need for
nuclear family members to borrow money from a bank rather than from
relatives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins then, are not directly
involved in the same way as they would be in an extended family structure.
6. Familial Roles
In both nuclear and extended families, the culture imposes set roles upon
parents. Traditionally the male has been responsible for financial support of
the home and family members. The female has often been responsible for
emotional support, child raising, and housekeeping. However, among some
people in parts of the United States, these parental functions are no longer
fixed. The prescribed role of the man as “breadwinner” and the woman as
housewife is changing. These changes include working mothers,
“househusbands,” and an increasing number of day-care centers for
children. Yet, traditional roles may be preserved even in households where
the wife is working.
Some mothers work because of a financial need and not because of a desire
to change their role from housewife to breadwinner. Others choose to work
because they feel that financial support of the family should be shared by
the husband and the wife. Still others are motivated to work because of
professional interests and a desire to contribute to society. More than 50
percent of American women are part of the labor force.
7. Stability and Change in the Family
It is almost impossible to describe a “typical American family” because the

United States is such a heterogeneous country. Although members of
ethnic, racial, or economic groups may assimilate into the educational and
employment system of the establishment, they often maintain their cultural
heritage within the home. Many families have strong religious or ethnic
backgrounds which continue to contribute to the preservation of the close-
knit extended family. At one time, traditional roles and religion had a much
stronger influence on the nuclear family. Now economic conditions,
societal attitudes, and job mobility compete with traditional influences.
Changes in the family structure are evidenced by increased rates of

separation and divorce. In certain areas of the country these trends have
resulted in a growing number of “single-parent” families, remarried
parents, and communal lifestyles. This does not indicate, however, that the
institution of marriage is crumbling. It is estimated that four out of five
divorced couples eventually remarry other people. These shifts in family
relationships may be interpreted as a breakdown or, alternatively, as an
adaptation of the family to changing roles, attitudes, and values. The
changes, according to the more traditional viewpoint, represent a
breakdown in the family structure, a disintegration of values, and a decline
of morality. Others, who believe it is necessary to adapt to a rapidly
changing society, believe these shifts in family structure are inevitable and
positive.
8. Cultural Notes
1. Terms used to address members of the family:
Nuclear Family:
Parents: Folks Mother: Mom, Mommy, Ma,
Mamma
Father: Dad, Daddy,
Pa, Papa Children: Kids
Extended Family
Grandparents: Grandmother, Grandma,
Grandfather, Grandpa
Uncle: first name or Uncle + first name
Aunt: first name, or Aunt + first name,
Auntie
Cousins, nephews, nieces: first names used
2. Other terms for family members (not terms of address):

In-laws: mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law
“Stepfamilies”: stepparents, stepsister, stepbrother, half-brother,
half-sister
3. Occasionally children call their parents by their first names. This is

often the case with stepparents. Parents usually address their children by
their first names, nicknames or occasionally by their first and middle
names. Mothers- and fathers-in-law are often called by their first names
but are sometimes referred to as “mother” and “father.”
4. If you are attending a family gathering and would like to know what
the familial relationship is between one member and another, you may
ask: “How are you related?”
5. The following are some of the activities that families share
- Birthdays
- Annual reunions
- Religious and secular holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas Easter,
etc.)
- Religious ceremonies (baptism, confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah)
- Weddings
- Wedding anniversaries
- Leisure activities (picnics, camping, dining out, movies)
6. Marriage: Usually the decision to marry is based on a mutual

agreement between the man and the woman. Parents may or may not be
asked to give their permission. The marriage ceremony may be a simple
visit to city hall, where marriage vows are exchanged and papers are
signed, or it can be an elaborate religious festive celebration. There are
numerous alternatives to the traditional wedding ceremony.
Adoption: The practice of adopting children exists for parents who cannot
have their own children for parents who decide by choice not to have
their own children, and for “single parents” (although it is difficult for
single parents to adopt children. This practice is not considered unusual or
negative in the American culture.
Separation: Couples who do not wish to get divorced may decide by

mutual agreement to separate; in this case, they are still legally married.
Couples who have filed for divorce are separated until the divorce is
finalized.
Divorce: Divorces can be obtained easily in most American states. Either

husbands or wives can apply for divorce. Bases for divorce can be as
diverse as mutual agreement of “incompatibility” to accusations of brutal
treatment. There is usually a minimal waiting time for remarriage. Child
support payment, alimony, and the division of property are usually
arranged by the courts or by mutual agreement between the husband and
wife.
7. Some institutions in society are changing in order to help the

family maintain close bonds. In some jobs pregnant women have
“maternity leave” allowing them up to six months off the job with pay.
Recently some jobs have been granting short “paternity leave” to men
whose wives have delivered babies. In this way the man can take care of
the house and child as the woman is recovering from delivery.
Exercises
1. Read the following passages and choose the best option
Passage 1:
Although most families in the United States enjoy a high living standard,
many American women have to work (1) ______ at home and in their
offices. Despite their husbands' (2) ________ of the housework, women
have to do most of the housekeeping tasks. In single-parent families, the
mothers may not have (3) ________ children to take care of, but they
have to raise their families alone and have to provide for all the
housekeeping money. Therefore, the (4) ________ mothers have to work
very hard to earn their living. Moreover, in spite of the fact that the single
mothers have all the (5) _______ conveniences at their homes, they find
that bringing up their teenage children alone is not easy.
1. A equally B fast C hard D hardly
2. A refusal B need C share D responsibility

3. A much B many C some D few
4. A dependent B single C alone D lonely
5. A comfortable B saving C modern D expensive
Passage 2:
In many modern countries, people think of a family as a mother, a father

and their children. But this is not the only kind of the family group. In
some parts of the world, a family group has many other members. This
kind of large family is called an "extended family" or a "joint family".
The joint family includes all living relatives on either the mother's or the
father's side of the family. It is made up of grandparents, parents,
brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, and cousins. They live together in a large
house or in huts built close together.
Early people probably lived in joint families. They had to be part of a

large group in order to survive. The members of the group helped each
other hunt. They worked together to protect themselves from dangerous
animals and other enemies.
In China, people lived in joint families. When a son married, he and his
wife lived at his parents' home. Unmarried daughters remained at home
until they married. Chinese children felt very loyal to their parents.
Younger members of the joint families always took care of the old ones.
In India and Africa, some people still live in joint families. The members
of a joint family share their earnings and property. If one member of the
group becomes ill or has bad luck, the others help the person. As in the
past, the members of the joint family offer each other help and protection.
1. This passage as a whole tells us about .
A. families found in India and Africa
B. joint families
C. families in China
D. all types of family
2. Long time ago, members of joint families_________.
A. found it difficult to live together
B. lived separately in order to survive
C. helped each other catch animals

D. did not live together
3. The phrase "is made up of” in paragraph 2 could be best replaced by

________ .
A. forms B. includes C. compensates D. consists
4. According to the passage, people who live in joint families often .
A. feel very loyal to their parents
B. share their good or bad luck
C. remain at home until they married
D. take care of one another
1. What is your idea of the “ideal family”? Describe the roles of the
family members and the beliefs that unite the family.
2. How are children rewarded and punished within the family?
3. What kinds of activities does your family do together for fun? Are
these activities done with the nuclear family or with the extended
family and friends?
4. Do external factors such as politics, technology, or the media affect

the way families behave? If so, how? (For example, the average
American child watches two to four hours of television a day.)
5. Is the family unit changing in any way in your country (for example,
number of children, education level of family members, etc.)?
3. Write a short composition to compare the family values in the

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References




Press (UK).

89
Unit 7: Educational Attitudes
(2.5 hours)
1. Diversity in Education
2. Active Participation
3. The Teacher – Student Relationships
4. Independent Learning
5. The Honor System
6. Competition
7. Cultural Notes
A teacher and her students in an elementary school classroom in the US
1. Diversity in Education
Student life at American universities is chaotic during the first week of

each quarter or semester. Registering for classes, becoming familiar with
90
the buildings on campus, buying books, adding and dropping classes, and
paying fees are confusing for everyone. During this busy period there is
little time for students to anticipate what they will later encounter in the
classroom.
International students, accustomed to their countries’ educational

expectations, must adapt to new classroom norms in a foreign college or
university. Whereas in one country prayer may be acceptable in a
classroom, in another it may be forbidden. In some classrooms around the
world students must humbly obey their teacher’s commands and remain
absolutely silent during a class period. In others, students may talk, eat,
and smoke during lectures as well as criticize a teacher’s methods or
contradict his or her statements. It is not always easy to understand a new
educational system.
There is considerable variety in university classrooms in the United

States. Because of diverse teaching methods and non-standardized
curricula, no two courses are identical. Undergraduate courses are
considerably different from graduate courses. The classroom atmosphere
in expensive, private universities may differ from that in community
colleges which are free and open to everyone. State-funded universities
have different requirements and expectations than do parochial colleges.
Nevertheless, there are shared features in American college and university
classrooms despite the diversity of educational institutions of higher
learning.
2. Active Participation
91
Participation in the classroom is not only accepted but also expected of
the student in many courses. Some professors base part of the final grade
on the student’s oral participation. Although there are formal lectures
during which the student has a passive role (i.e., listening and taking
notes), many courses are organized around classroom discussions, student
questions, and informal lectures. In graduate seminars the professor has a
“managerial” role and the students make presentations and lead
discussions. The students do the actual teaching in these seminars.
A professor’s teaching style is another factor that determines the degree

and type of student participation. Some professors prefer to control
discussion while others prefer to guide the class without dominating it.
Many professors encourage students to question and challenge their ideas.
Students who make assertions that contradict the professor’s point of
view should be prepared to substantiate their positions.
In the teaching of science and mathematics, the dominant mode of

instruction is generally traditional, with teachers presenting formal
lectures and students taking notes. However, new educational trends have
emerged in the humanities and social sciences in the past two decades.
Students in education, sociology, and psychology classes, for example,
are often required to solve problems in groups, design projects, make
presentations and examine case studies. Since some college or university
courses are “applied” rather than theoretical, they stress “doing” and
involvement.
3. The Teacher—Student Relationship
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Professors may establish social relationships with students outside of the
classroom, but in the classroom they maintain the instructor’s role. A
professor may have coffee one day with students but the next day expect
them to meet a deadline for the submission of a paper or to be prepared
for a discussion or an exam. The professor may give extra attention
outside of class to a student in need of help but probably will not treat
him or her differently when it comes to evaluating school work.
Professors have several roles in relation to students; they may be
counselors and friends as well as teachers. Students must realize that
when a teacher’s role changes, they must appropriately adapt their
behavior and attitudes.
4. Independent Learning
Many teachers believe that the responsibility for learning lies with the
student. If a long reading assignment is given, instructors expect students
to be familiar with the information in the reading even if they do not
discuss it in class or give an examination. (Courses are not designed
merely for students to pass exams.) The ideal student is considered to be
one who is motivated to learn for the sake of learning, not the one
interested only in getting high grades. Grade-conscious students may be
frustrated with teachers who do not believe it is necessary to grade every
assignment. Sometimes homework is returned with brief written
comments but without a grade. Even if a grade is not given, the student is
responsible for learning the material assigned.
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When research is assigned, the professor expects the student to take the
initiative and to complete the assignment with minimal guidance. It is the
student’s responsibility to find books, periodicals, and articles in the
library. Professors do not have the time to explain how a university
library works; they expect students, particularly graduate students, to be
able to exhaust the reference sources in the library.
Professors will help students who need it, but prefer that their students not
be overly dependent on them. (This differs from teacher-student
relationships in other countries.) In the United States, professors have
other duties besides teaching. Often they are responsible for
administrative work within their departments. In addition, they may be
obliged to publish articles and books. Therefore the time that a professor
can spend with a student outside of class is limited. If a student has
problems with classroom work, the student should either approach a
professor during office hours or make an appointment.
5. Honor System
Ideally, the teacher-student relationship at universities is characterized by

trust. The “honor system,” imposed by the teacher and the university,
demands that the student be honest in all areas of school work. Thus,
cheating on tests, plagiarizing in written work presenting others’ ideas as
original and turning in homework completed by someone else are all
prohibited.
Violation of the Honor System can result in a student’s failing a course,

having a permanent record of the violation placed in the student’s school
files, or even being expelled from the university. Many students are also
aware that they can jeopardize their rapport with fellow students if they
are dishonest. Students who cheat may lose the respect of other students,
particularly those who study for exams and work independently. When
leaving the classroom while students are taking an exam, an instructor
may or may not say, “I expect you all to abide by the honor system.”
Even if the words are not stated, the student is expected to work alone and
not to share answers.
6. Competition
Relationships between students in the classroom can be cooperative or

competitive international students should not hesitate to ask for help if it
is needed. There are courses, however, where grades are calculated in
relation to other students’ scores. Therefore, in classes where such a
grading “curve” is used students may be reluctant to share lecture notes
or information for fear that their own grades will suffer.
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There are other reasons for the presence of competition among students.
A high grade point average is needed for entrance to superior graduate
schools. Students feel pressure to achieve high grades when there are
relatively few openings in graduate programs. In addition, when facing a
competitive job market graduates may be judged on the basis of their
grade point average and faculty recommendations. Ultimately, it is the
student who is responsible for succeeding in this competitive system.
The university classroom in the United States manifests cultural values

through professors and students’ expectations and attitudes. Competition
is an example of only one value. Educational practices such as the honor
system and student participation indicate a respect for individual
responsibility and independence. Alternative teaching methods show a
cultural preference for innovation. The manner in which education is
provided in any country reflects basic cultural and social beliefs of that
country.
7. Cultural Notes
1. During the first two years of an undergraduate education, a student

must take some required courses which are usually not part of his or her
major. An undergraduate in engineering, for example, is required to take
general courses in the fields of history, sociology, and others.
Undergraduates generally begin to specialize in the third year although
they may have taken prerequisite courses in their major field during the
first two years. Students are required to take general education courses so
that they become “well-rounded.” Students are expected to graduate with
knowledge other than that in their field of specialization.
2. The grading system usually uses letters (A, B, C. D, F) with

corresponding grade points (4, 3, 2, 1, 0) that make up the G.P.A. (grade-
point average).
3. Professors decide their own method of grading. Some instructors use

the curve grading system, which is based on a formula that calculates a
certain number of A’s, B’s, C’s, D’s, and F’s. In other words, a professor
knows what percentage of his or her students will receive an A, B, C, D,
or F. A student’s score is calculated relative to the other students’ scores.
4. Academic counselors are available to help students choose classes and

majors and arrange schedules.
5. International student advisors can help with specific problems

concerning immigration, visas, and other such areas.
6. On many campuses there are “clinics” and “centers” that deal with
specialized problems: psychological counseling services, study skills
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centers, and math or business clinics are often available to students.
Academic counselors can usually recommend where to go for these
services.
7. There are other on-campus and off-campus services for students such
as professional typing, and tutoring in many subjects. Some of these
services are free; others are not. Often department secretaries or
professors can suggest names of proficient students who tutor others in
particular subjects. School newspapers also list special services in the
“Classified Ads” section.
Exercises
1. Read the following passages and choose the best option
Passage 1:
The Korean education system basically consists of primary schools, ...

(1)..... schools, high schools, and colleges or universities, with graduate
courses leading to Ph.D.degrees. ......(2)...... education is compulsory for
children aged six to eleven. The basic primary school curriculum is
generally divided into eight ......(3)...... : the Korean language, social
studies, science, ......(4)...... , ethics, physical education, music and fine
arts. Students in secondary schools are required to take a number of
additional subjects, such as English, and can take electives, such as
technical or vocational courses. Afterwards, students can ......(5)......
between general education and vocational high schools. In general, high
school tends to be strict, as college and university admission is very
competitive.
1. A. second B. secondary
C. among D. half
2. A. Primary B. High
C. College D. University
3. A. titles B. courses
C. topics D. subjects
4. A. mathematician B. mathematics
C. mathematically D. mathematical
5. A. wish B. test
C. choose D. consist
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Passage 2:
The American education system requires that students complete 12 years

of primary and secondary education prior to attending university or
college. This may be accomplished either at public or government-
operated schools, or at private schools. These 12 years of schooling or
their equivalent may also be completed outside the USA, thus giving
foreign students the opportunity to pursue the benefits of the American
education system and obtain a quality American education. Perhaps one
of the most impressive facts is that a large number of presidents, prime
ministers and leaders from other countries have experienced the
American education system and graduated from a university or school in
the USA. In many fields and industries, the American education system
offers the most cutting-edge, sought-after programs at the world's best
schools. That is why graduating from an accredited American school and
being exposed to the rigors of the American education system is an
investment in your future.
Whether you want to study at a top USA university, a top USA college, a
vocational or high school, a thorough understanding of how the American
education system works is essential. Without a clear grasp of the
American education system, an international student will find it difficult
to make the right academic choices. It is no surprise that the American
education system and the American school system host more international
students than any other country in the world!
1. The expression government-operated could best be replaced by _____.
A. independent B. state C. vocational D. boarding
2. According to the text, students in the USA _______.
A. are made to take primary and secondary education in the

country
B. are not necessarily take primary and secondary education in the

country
C. spend less than 12 years for primary and secondary education
D. needn't take primary and secondary education
3. The writer _______ the US education.
A. appreciates B. underestimates
C. overstates D. dislikes
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4. Which is true?
A. The US education is not good enough for foreign students.
B. Foreign students are not offered opportunities in the US:
C. There are not many foreign students in the US.
D. Many leaders all over the world have studied in the US.
5. What is the writer's advice?
A. International students should not invest their future education in the

US.
B. International students should not study at a top USA university, a

top USA college, a vocational or high school.
C. Without a clear grasp of the American education system, an

international student can make the right academic choices
D. International students should have a thorough understanding of

how the American education system works before going there to
study.
1. Are subjects such as politics, foreign policy, and social problems

taught in high school or university courses? In your opinion, should
they be taught?
2. Are subjects such as marriage, sex, birth control parenthood and

divorce taught in high school or university courses? In your Opinion,
should they be taught?
3. Are there any courses or subjects taught that you feel are
completely useless? Are there any that should be added to the
curriculum?
4. When students leave high school, are they well prepared for life
outside school? Explain.
5. Does everyone receive an education? Until what age is education

mandatory? Is education free?
6. Is there a separation between religion and education or is religion

part of the school curriculum?
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3. Write a short composition to compare the education system in
Vietnam and in another country
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References




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Unit 8: Cultural Conflict
(5 hours)
1. Communication and Culture
2. Misinterpretations
3. Ethnocentrism
4. Stereotypes and Prejudice
“Suppose that you’re planning to visit a part of the world about which
you know very little except that it is quite different from your own
country. You are sophisticated enough to expect that the spoken language
and probably some gestures be different. You know, too, that customs
will be different, but you are not sure exactly, what this will mean. At
least there will be interesting things to take pictures of or write home
about. The climate and foods will be different, of course, but these
differences are attractions and are not really problems. Such is the would-
be-tourist’s view of a foreign culture.
… from the moment you arrive, your [cultural and personal]

background…will influence everything you expect [and] a great deal of
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what you do and do not do… Most of the people you meet will be
similarly influenced by their own backgrounds culturally, socially, and
personally. If some of the people you meet think you act a little strangely,
they may never know whether you are peculiar or whether most people
from your country are strange or whether all “ foreigners” are strange….
Most of what you do in a foreign country will be “what comes naturally”

– which means what you have always done or seen others do back home.
Most of our behavior is outside of our awareness so that “normal
behavior” means behavior according to the norms of our culture and not
what is done everywhere or done “naturally.” Still, to the extent that you
are aware of the possibilities of different behavior in the land you are
visiting you may be unusually self-conscious of some of this “normal-
behavior.”
1. Communication and Culture
“Intercultural communication” is communication between members of

different cultures. This definition is simple, but the process is complex.
Intercultural communication involves differing perceptions attitudes, and
interpretations. We know that even two people from the same culture can
have communication problems. People can unintentionally hurt each
other by something they say or do. Isn’t it logical, then, that
communication problems can be compounded among people who do not
have the benefit of shared experiences (i.e. language and culture)?
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Cultures do not communicate; individuals do. Everyone has a unique
style of communication, but cultures determine a general style for their
members. The relationship of the individual to his culture is analogous to
an actor and his director. The actor puts his own personality into his
acting but is nevertheless influenced by the director. We are not always
aware of the subtle influences of our culture. Likewise, we may not
perceive that others are influenced by their cultures as well.
2. Misinterpretations
Problems and misinterpretations do not result every time members from

two cultures communicate. However, when cultural conflicts do arise,
they may be perceived as personal rather than cultural. In the following
example it is a culture misunderstanding that creates negative feelings and
confusion:
A young woman from one culture is looking out of the window and sees a
male acquaintance from another culture. He signals to her by puckering
his lips. She quickly looks away from the window. Later she ignores him.
He is confused and she is angry
The misunderstanding was due to the woman’s failure to understand the

man’s nonverbal signal. In her culture, his gesture conveys a sexual
advance. According to his culture, he was only saying (nonverbally),
“Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you.” The woman’s
misinterpretation resulted in her angry reaction and his confusion. If the
two had known more about each other’s nonverbal cues, they could have
avoided the cultural conflict.
Some misunderstandings are insignificant and can be easily ignored or

remedied. Other conflicts are more serious in that they can cause
misinterpretations and create persistent negative attitudes toward
foreigners.
3. Ethnocentrism
Difficulties in intercultural communication arise when there is little or no

awareness of divergent cultural values and beliefs. In cross-cultural
interaction, speakers sometimes assume that what they believe is right,
because they have grown up thinking their way is the best. This
ethnocentric assumption can result in negative judgments about other
cultures. Another manifestation of ethnocentric attitudes is that people
become critical of individuals from different cultures.
In the following example, Rosamine and Menta demonstrate that they

cannot understand each other’s points of view. Rosamine and Merita are
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talking to each other about relationships between children and parents. In
Rosamine’s culture children live with their parents until marriage
because dependence on parents is considered positive. In Merita’s culture
children leave home when they are eighteen because independence and
self-reliance are considered positive.
ROSAMINE. I think it’s terrible that in your country children leave their
parents when they’re so young. Something that shocks me even more is
that many parents want their children to leave home. I can’t understand
why children and parents don’t like each other in your country.
MERITA. In your country parents don’t allow their children to become

independent. Parents keep their children protected until the children get
married. How are young people in your country supposed to learn about
life that way?
Both women are insensitive to each other s values concerning family life.
They have been raised and conditioned according to cultural norms.
Therefore, each has a different view of what is right.
4. Stereotypes and Prejudice
A stereotype is a preconceived, oversimplified, exaggerated, and often

demeaning assumption of the characteristics possessed by an individual
due to his or her membership in a specific group. Stereotypes usually
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function to deny individuals respect or legitimacy based on their
membership in that group. They are the hardest to dislodge in situations
where a dominant group desires to keep another group
Sometimes negative reactions do not result from actual interaction but

rather from the fixed, preconceived beliefs we have about other people.
These overgeneralized beliefs or “stereotypes” frequently shape people’s
perceptions of each other.
Stereotypes originate and develop from numerous sources such as jokes,

textbooks, movies, and television. Movies about cowboys and Indians
portray cowboys as “civilized” and Indians as wild and “primitive.” A
child who knows about the American Indian only through watching these
movies will have a distorted and false image of this group of people.
Stereotypes perpetuate inaccuracies about religious, racial, and cultural
groups.
Stereotypical beliefs prevent us from seeing people as individuals with

unique characteristics. Negative stereotypes lead to prejudice: suspicion,
intolerance or hatred of other cultural groups. The close relationship
between prejudice and stereotypes is illustrated in the following example:
Mr. Bias is a director of a small private company. He is interviewing

candidates for the position of assistant manager. He selects a bright and
ambitious applicant. Later, he discovers that this applicant is from the
country of Levadel (a fictitious nation). Since he thinks that all
Levadelians are stupid and lazy, he decides to select someone else for the
position.
Unfortunately there was nothing that this applicant could have done to
prove that he was indeed qualified for the job. Rejected on the basis of his
nationality, the applicant was a victim of an irrational belief.
Stereotypical remarks can be made casually in daily conversations and

may or may not have serious consequences. Nevertheless, people’s initial
impulse is to become angry rather than to clarify the distortion. Educating
others is one way to try to correct misperceptions. At the same time,
individuals need to become fully aware of their own preconceptions.
Establishing personal relationships with individuals from different
religions, cultures, or races may be the best way to break down stereotype
and prejudice.
Cultural conflicts occur as a result of misinterpretations, ethnocentrism

stereotypes, and prejudice. Preventing these conflicts is possible with
increased awareness of our own attitudes as well as sensitivity to cross-
cultural differences. Developing intercultural sensitivity does not mean
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that we need to lose our cultural identities—but rather that we recognize
cultural influences within ourselves and within others.
Exercises
1. Read the following passages and choose the correct answer
Passage 1:
Many American customs will surprise you, the same thing happens to us
when we (1) _____ another country. People from various cultures handle
many small daily things differently. What a dull world it would be if this
were not true!
Some differences are minor, and people soon become accustomed to

them. At (2) ____, for example, some foreign women may be started at
the idea of (3) _____ their hair or styled by men. Visitors may be amazed
to see men wearing wigs. People may (4) ____ the transitory quality of
much American life odd, for example, one (5) _____ rent art by the week
or the entire furnishings of an apartment, from sofa and bed to the last
spoon, on less than 8 hours’ notice.
1. A. to visit B. visit C. visited D. visiting
2. A. least B. all C. first D. last
3. A. to have B. having C. to show D. showing
4. A. get B. find C. regard D. put
5. A. should B. must C. can D. shall
Passage 2:
When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their partner not only a
lover but a friend also. They find a person with whom they can share their
opinions, their emotions, thoughts and fears. In marriage we are looking
for a partner who will be able to understand our values, our likes and
dislikes.
If a man and a woman are born and raised in the same country, most
likely they are familiar with the same songs, movies, jokes, books and life
in general. They basically have the same roots. In the case of a western
man and foreign woman family everything is more complicated and
requires much more patience and understanding from both spouses. On
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one hand each of the partners has an opportunity to learn a great deal
about the other's country, culture, traditions and life styles which can be
very interesting. On the other hand it can be very disappointing if there is
the inability to understand your partner's excitements and frustrations. For
example, you are watching the television and suddenly you see a famous
actor or singer, or other type of an artist whose name you have grown up
with. Maybe this artist was an idol for your parents and the music of this
artist was often played in your house when you were a child.
Unfortunately you realize that your wife is unable to understand your
feelings because she has no idea who this artist is. Her eyes are absolutely
empty because she has never even heard the song before. You feel rather
disappointed! Remember that your wife has the same situation with you.
You do not know her country's songs, her country's famous actors, her
books. She has her own memories and in actuality, for her, everything is
much more difficult than it is for you. At least, you live in your own
country where everybody can understand you. She lives in completely
strange surroundings, where she has nobody to share her feelings with,
except you.
Do some research and learn about your wife's country, culture and
lifestyles. Talk with her, ask her questions, get to know what songs she
likes, what movies and books are of interest to her. The Internet will give
you a great opportunity to find anything! Tell her about your country's
culture, let her listen to the music that you like, rent a movie for her that
left you with great impression. Let her understand you better through the
things that you like. Patience and time will help you to fight cultural
differences.
1. A spouse should ________.
A. let the partner to do everything alone.
B. be not only a lover but also a friend.
C. not share the feelings with the partner.
D. not interfere with what the partner's likes and dislikes.
2. According to the passage, ________.
A. Spouses who have the same nationality need more patience and
understanding in their marriage than those who are from different
cultures.
B. Spouses who are from different cultures need more patience and
understanding in their marriage than those who have the same
roots.
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C. Spouses who have the same roots do not share anything together.
D. Spouses who are from different cultures can never share anything
together.
3. If there is the inability to understand a spouse's excitements and

frustrations of the marriage, he or she may feel ________.
A. faithful C. disappointed
B. hopeless D. happy
4. The passage is ________.
A. critical C. advisory
B. convincing D. apologetic
5. To overcome cultural differences in marriage needs ________.
A. patience and time
B. time and money
C. movies and music
D. books and the Internet
1. In your opinion, what areas of culture create the most serious problems
in intercultural communication? Explain.
2. What kinds of cultural conflicts exist in a heterogeneous society? How

are they similar to cultural conflicts between people from different
countries?
3. What is the difference between having pride in one’s identity and

being ethnocentric? Why do groups of people become ethnocentric?
4. Can you think of cases where stereotypes have turned into prejudice or
hatred?
5. How can harmful stereotypes be combated?
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3. Write a paragraph about cultural conflicts in two different cultures.
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References




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Unit 9: Cultural Adjustment
(5 hours)
1. Culture Shock
2. The Adjustment Process
3. The Re-entry Process
5. Individual Reaction
6. Politeness
Living in a second culture can be like riding on a roller coaster.

Sometimes foreign visitors are elated; sometimes they are depressed. First
there is the combination of enthusiasm and excitement that is felt while
traveling. New foods and aromas, different faces, foreign languages, and
interesting customs all fascinate the traveler. A foreign visitor usually has
high expectations and is eager to become familiar with a new culture.
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Of course, not everything is easy during a long stay in a second culture.
International travelers may have difficulties understanding the adjustment
problems that beset them. Many people do not recognize that the
problems, feelings, and mood changes that are related to living in a
second culture are not unique. It is common for international visitors or
immigrants to vacillate between loving and hating a new country. The
newness and strangeness of a foreign culture are bound to affect a
traveler’s emotions.
1. Culture Shock
Culture shock is the physical and emotional discomfort of being in a

foreign country, another culture, an unfamiliar place, or all three.
“Culture shock” occurs as a result of total immersion in a new culture. It

happens to “people who have been suddenly transplanted abroad.”
Newcomers may be anxious because they do not speak the language,
know the customs, or understand people’s behavior in daily life. The
visitor finds that “yes” may not always mean “yes,” that friendliness does
not necessarily mean friendship, or that statements that appear to be
serious are really intended as jokes. The foreigner may be unsure as to
when to shake hands or embrace, when to initiate conversations, or how
to approach a stranger. The notion of “culture shock” helps explain
feelings of bewilderment and disorientation. Language problems do not
account for all the frustrations that people feel. When one is deprived of
everything that was once familiar, such as understanding a transportation
system, knowing how to register for university classes, or knowing how
to make friends, difficulties in coping with the new society may arise.
However, it will be helpful for you to be able to recognize the signs of
culture shock.
Symptoms
Sadness
Homesickness
Loneliness
Sleeping too much, too little
Anger
Irritability
Resentment
Sense of helplessness
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2. The Adjustment Process
“... When an individual enters a strange Culture,... he or she is like fish

out of Water.” Newcomers feel at times that they do not belong and
consequently may feel alienated from the native members of the culture.
When this happens visitors may want to reject everything about the new
environment and may glorify and exaggerate the positive aspects of their
own culture. Conversely, visitors may Scorn their native country by
rejecting its values and instead choosing to identify with (if only
temporarily) the values of the new country. This may occur as an attempt
to over identify with the new culture in order to be accepted by the people
in it.
Reactions to a new Culture vary, but experience and research have shown
that there are distinct stages in the adjustment process of foreign visitors.
When leaving the comfortably secure environment of home, a person will
naturally experience some stress and anxiety. The severity of culture
shock depends on visitors’ personalities, language ability, emotional
support, and duration of stay. It is also influenced by the extent of
differences either actual or perceived, between the two cultures
Visitors coming for short periods of time do not always experience the
same intense emotions as visitors who live in foreign countries for longer
terms. The adjustment stages during prolonged stays may last several
months to several years. The following “W’ shaped diagram illustrates
periods of adjustment in a second culture and might apply to a one-year
stay (approximately) in a foreign culture. Although the stages in the cycle
do not always occur in the same order and some stages may be skipped,
the following pattern is a common one:
Honeymoon
period
5. Acceptance and
integration
3. Initial
adjustment
2. Culture shock 4. mental isolation
Time
The Adjustment Process in a New Culture (Levine & Adelman, 1982, 88)
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Each stage in the process is characterized by symptoms or outward signs
typifying certain kinds of behavior:
(1) Honeymoon period. Initially many people are fascinated and excited
by everything new. The visitor is elated to be in a new culture.
(2) Culture shock. The individual is immersed in new problems:

housing, transportation, shopping and language. Mental fatigue results
from continuously straining to comprehend the foreign language.
(3) Initial adjustment. Everyday activities such as housing and shopping

are no longer major problems. Although the visitor may not yet be fluent
in the language spoken, basic ideas and feelings in the second language
can be expressed.
(4) Mental isolation. Individuals have been away from their family and
good friends for a long period of time and may feel lonely. Many still feel
they cannot express themselves as well as they can in their native
language. Frustration and sometimes a loss of self-confidence result.
Some individuals remain at this stage.
(5) Acceptance and integration. A routine (e.g., work, business, or

school) has been established. The visitor has accepted the habits, customs,
foods, and characteristics of the people in the new culture. The visitor
feels comfortable with friends, associates, and the language of the
country.
3. The Re-entry Process
The ‘Re-entry” Adjustment Process
1. Acceptance and
integration 5. Re-integration
3. Return
honeymoon
2. Return anxiety 4. Re-entry shock
Time
(Levine & Adelman, 1982, p 88)
114
A similar process occurs when visitors return to their native countries,
although the stages are usually shorter and less intense. The following
“W” shaped diagram illustrates reactions and emotions experienced when
a person leaves a foreign country and returns to his or her own country.
As in the first diagram, each stage in the ‘re-entry” process is

characterized by symptoms and feelings.
(1) Acceptance and integration. See description given for the preceding
diagram.
(2) Return anxiety. There may be confusion and emotional pain about
leaving because friendships will have to be disrupted. Many people
realize how much they have changed because of their experiences and
may be nervous about going home.
(3) Return honeymoon. Immediately upon arrival in one’s own country,

there is generally a great deal of excitement. There are parties to welcome
back the visitor and renewed friendships to look forward to.
(4) Re-entry shock. Family and friends may not understand or appreciate
what the traveler has experienced. The native country or city may have
changed in the eyes of the former traveler.
(5) Re-integration. The former traveler becomes fully involved with

friends, family, and activities and feels once again integrated in the
society. Many people at this stage realize the positive and negative
aspects of both countries and have a more balanced perspective about
their experiences.
115
Open Mindedness. . . The ability to keep one’s opinions flexible and

receptive to new stimuli seems to be important to intercultural
adjustment.
Sense of Humor. . . A sense of humor is important because in another

culture there are many things which lead one to weep, get angry, be
annoyed, embarrassed, or discouraged. The ability to laugh off things will
help guard against despair.
Ability to Cope with Failure. . . The ability to tolerate failure is critical

because everyone fails at something overseas. Person who go overseas
are often those who have been the most successful in their home
environments and have rarely experienced failure, thus, may have never
developed way of coping with failure.
Communicativeness. . . The ability and willingness to communicate

one’s feelings and thoughts to others, verbally or non-verbally, has been
suggested as an important skill for successful intercultural
communicators.
Flexibility and Adaptability. . . The ability to respond to or tolerate the

ambiguity of new situations is very important to intercultural success.
Keeping options open and judgmental behavior to a minimum describes
an adaptable or flexible person.
Curiosity. . . Curiosity is the demonstrated desire to know about other

people, places, ideas, etc. This skill or personality trait is important for
intercultural travelers because they need to learn many things in order to
adapt to their new environment.
Positive and Realistic Expectations. . . It has been shown frequently

that there are strong correlations between positive expectations for an
intercultural experience and successful adjustment overseas.
Tolerance for Differences and Ambiguities. . . A sympathetic

understanding for beliefs or practices differing from one’s own is
important to successful intercultural adjustment.
Positive Regard for Others. . . The ability to express warmth, empathy,

respect, and positive regard for other persons has been suggested as an
important component of effective intercultural relations.
A Strong Sense of Self. . . A clear, secure feeling about oneself results in

individuals who are neither weak nor overbearing in their relations with
others. Persons with a strong sense of themselves stand up for what they
116
believe, but do not cling to those beliefs regardless of new information,
perspectives, or understandings which they may encounter.
5. Individual Reactions
Individuals experience the stages of adjustment and re-entry in different

ways. When visitors have close relatives in the new culture or speak the
foreign language fluently, they may not experience all the effects of
culture shock or mental isolation an exile or refugee would adjust
differently from someone who voluntarily traveled to a new country.
Certain individuals have difficulties adapting to a new environment and
perhaps never do; others seem to adjust well from the very beginning of
their stay.
Day-to-day living in another culture is undoubtedly an educational

experience. While traveling, and living abroad people learn second
languages, observe different customs, and encounter new values. Many
people who have lived in other countries feel that exposure to foreign
cultures enables them to gain insight into their own society. When facing
different values, beliefs, and behavior, they develop a deeper
understanding of themselves and of the society that helped to shape their
characters. The striking contrasts of a second culture provide a mirror in
which one’s own culture is reflected.
6. Politeness
Politeness is the expression of the speakers’ intention to mitigate face

threats carried by certain face threatening acts toward another (Mills,
2003, p. 6). Being polite therefore consists of attempting to save face for
another. Politeness theory states that some speech acts threaten others’
face needs. First formulated in 1987 by Penelope Brown and Stephen
Levinson, politeness theory has since expanded academia’s perception of
politeness (Mills, 2003). This text has influenced almost all of the
theoretical and analytical work in this field (Mills, 2003, p. 57).
In everyday conversation, there are ways to go about getting the things

we want. When we are with a group of friends, we can say to them, "Go
get me that plate!", or "Shut-up!" However, when we are surrounded by a
group of adults at a formal function, in which our parents are attending,
we must say, "Could you please pass me that plate, if you don't mind?"
and "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but I am not able to hear the
speaker in the front of the room." In different social situations, we are
obligated to adjust our use of words to fit the occasion. It would seem
socially unacceptable if the phrases above were reversed.
117
According to Brown and Levinson (1987), politeness strategies are
developed in order to save the hearers' "face." Face refers to the respect
that an individual has for him or herself, and maintaining that "self-
esteem" in public or in private situations. Usually you try to avoid
embarrassing the other person, or making them feel uncomfortable. Face
Threatening Acts (FTA's) are acts that infringe on the hearers' need to
maintain his/her self esteem, and be respected. Politeness strategies are
developed for the main purpose of dealing with these FTAs. What would
you do if you saw a cup of pens on your teacher's desk, and you wanted to
use one, would you
a. say, "Ooh, I want to use one of those!"
b. say, "So, is it O.K. if I use one of those pens?"
c. say, "I'm sorry to bother you but, I just wanted to ask you if I could
use one of those pens?"
d. indirectly say, "Hmm, I sure could use a blue pen right now."
There are four types of politeness strategies, described by Brown and

Levinson (1987), that sum up human "politeness" behavior: Bald On
Record, Negative Politeness, Positive Politeness, and Off-Record-indirect
strategy.
If you answered A, you used what is called the Bald On Record Bald On-
Record strategy which provides no effort to minimize threats to your
teachers' "face."
If you answered B, you used the Positive Politeness strategy. In this

situation you recognize that your teacher has a desire to be respected. It
also confirms that the relationship is friendly and expresses group
reciprocity.
If you answered C, you used the Negative Politeness strategy which

similar to Positive Politeness in that you recognize that they want to be
respected however, you also assume that you are in some way imposing
on them. Some other examples would be to say, "I don't want to bother
you but..." or "I was wondering if ..."
If you answered D, you used Off-Record indirect strategies. The main

purpose is to take some of the pressure off of you. You are trying not to
directly impose by asking for a pen. Instead you would rather it be offered
to you once the teacher realizes you need one, and you are looking to find
one. A great example of this strategy is something that almost everyone
has done or will do when you have, on purpose, decided not to return
118
someone's phone call, therefore you say, " I tried to call a hundred times,
but there was never any answer
Examples from Brown and Levinson's Politeness strategies (1987):
Bald on-record: These provide no effort by you to reduce the impact of

the FTA's. You will most likely shock the person to whom you are
speaking to, embarrass them, or make them feel a bit uncomfortable.
However, this type of strategy is commonly found with people who know
each other very well, and are very comfortable in their environment, such
as close friends and family).
An Emergency: HELP!!
Task oriented: Give me that!
Request: Put your coat away.
Alerting: Turn your headlights on! (When alerting someone to

something they should be doing)
Positive Politeness: It is usually seen in groups of friends, or where

people in the given social situation know each other fairly well. It usually
tries to minimize the distance between them by expressing friendliness
and solid interest in the hearer's need to be respected (minimize the FTA).
Attend to the hearer:

"You must be hungry, it's a long time since breakfast. How about some
lunch?"
Avoid disagreement:
A: " What is she, small?"
B: "Yes, yes, she's small, smallish, um, not really small but certainly not
very big."
Assume agreement:
"So when are you coming to see us?"
Hedge opinion:
"You really should sort of try harder."
Negative Politeness: The main focus for using this strategy is to

assume that you may be imposing on the hearer, and intruding on their
space. Therefore, these automatically assume that there might be some
social distance or awkwardness in the situation.
Be indirect: "I'm looking for a comb."
119
In this situation you are hoping that you will not have to ask directly, so
as not to impose and take up the hearer's time. Therefore, by using this
indirect strategy, you hope they will offer to go find one for you.
Forgiveness: "You must forgive me but...."
Minimize imposition:
"I just want to ask you if I could use your computer?"
Pluralize the person responsible:

"We forgot to tell you that you needed to by your plane ticket by
yesterday."
This takes all responsibility off of only you and onto "we", even if you
were the person responsible for telling the hearer when the deadline was
to buy the ticket.
Off-Record (indirect): You are removing yourself from any imposition

whatsoever.
Give hints: "It's cold in here."
Be vague:
"Perhaps someone should have been more responsible."
Be sarcastic, or joking:
"Yeah, he's a real rocket scientist!"
Exercises
1. Read the passages below carefully, then choose the best option
Passage 1:
In many cultures, people think that (1)……… and marriage together –
like bread and wine or meat and (2)……. They think that love is a
necessary foundation for (3)……….and that you should love the person
you marry before you get married. In other (4)………., however a man
and a woman may not even know each other before their wedding day.
Romantic love is not bequeathed to marriage in these cultures. These
people expect that love will develop (5)……….the wedding if the
marriage is a good one. Your views on love and marriage come from
your culture.
120
1. A. family B. friendship C. feeling D. love
2. A. tomatoes B. apples C. potatoes D. oranges
3. A. divorce B. marry C. engagement D. marriage
4. A. cultures B. societies C. counties D. habits
5. A. before B. after C. during D. as soon as
Passage 2:
If you are invited to someone’s house in America for dinner, you should
bring a gift, such as a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates. If you give
your host a wrapped gift, he / she may open it in front of you. Opening a
gift in front of the gift-giver is considered polite. It shows that the host is
excited about receiving the gift and wants to show his / her appreciation
to you immediately. Even if the host doesn’t like it, he / she will tell “a
white lie” and say how much they like the gift to prevent the guest from
feeling bad.
If your host asks you to arrive at the particular time, you should not arrive
exactly on time or earlier than expected time, because this is considered
to be inconvenient and therefore rude, as the host may not be ready.
1. In America, if you are invited for dinner, you should bring……………

as a gift.
A. nothing B. wine C. a bunch of flowers D. soft drink
2. Opening a gift in front of the gift-giver is considered…………………
A. rude B. courteous C. impolite D. hospitable
3. Why does the host open the gift in front of you?
A. To show his feelings of the gift. B. To show his gratitude to you.
C. To show his wish for a gift. D. To show his understanding.
4. When invited for dinner, you shouldn’t arrive exactly on time

because…………………
A. the host may be rude to you B. it may take you a lot of time
C. it may be inconvenient for you D. the host may not be ready
121
1. Do you think there are stages of learning a language? If so, how do

stages in language learning correspond to stages in the cultural
adjustment process?
2. Do people usually change because of their experiences in foreign

countries? If so, how?
3. What problems might someone expect when returning home after a

long absence?
4. How might students decrease the impact of culture shock during

their stay in a foreign culture?
5. What kinds of people adjust best to foreign cultures?
6. What is the best way to prepare for life in another culture?
3. Write a short composition about the ways to adjust to a new culture
...
……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………....
……………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………… .
..
……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………....
……………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………… .
..
……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………....
……………………………………………………………………………
122
……………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………....
……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………....
……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………....
……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………....
References
1. Brown, P & Levinson, S. C. (1987). Politeness: Some universals in

language usage. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

3. Mills, S. (2003). Caught between sexism, anti sexism and "political

correctness", feminist negotiations with naming practices, Discourse
and Society, vol 14 (1) pp.87-110 [cited]

5. Novinger,T (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical Guide.


Press(UK)

123
REFERENCES
1. Brown, P & Levinson, S. C. (1987). Politeness: Some universals

in language usage. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
2. Christopher, D. (1999) British Culture: An Introduction.

Psychology Press
3. Datesman, M. K. & Kearny (2005) American Ways: An

Introduction to American Culture. Longman Publishing House.
4. Fox, K. (2005) Watching the English: The hidden Rules of English

Behavior. Longman Publishing House.
5. Gudykunst, W. B. (2004) Bridging Differences: Effective

Intergroup Communication. Sage Publications.
6. Holiday, A., Kullman, J. & Hyde, M. (2004) Intercultural

Communication.

8. Melamed, J. & Bozionelos, N. (1992) Managerial Promotion and

Height. Psychological Reports, 71 pp. 587–593.
9. Mills, S. (2003). Caught between sexism, anti sexism and

"political correctness", feminist negotiations with naming
practices, Discourse and Society, vol 14 (1) pp.87-110 [cited]
10.Myron W.Lustug & Jolene Koester (2010). Intercultural
competence: Interpersonal Communication across Cultures (6th
edition)
11.Nguyen Quang (Com. & Ed.). Intercultural Communication.

12.Novinger,T (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical

13.Oxford Guide to British and American Culture. Oxford University

Press(UK)
14.Whittaker, A. (2009) Britain: Be Fluent British Life and Culture.

Thgood Publishing House
124
15.Valdes, J. M. (1986). Culture Bound. Bridging the Cultural Gap in
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politeness_theory
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verbal
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_values
http://www.unesco.org/new/en/culture/
125

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HANOI OPEN UNIVERSITY

“Second language learning is often second culture learning. In order to

This course book is designed to provide you, the learner of English as a

- to discuss important aspects of culture;

- to learn about life in the English-speaking countries;

- to recognize the relationship between language and culture;

- to improve your conversational ability through intercultural

Unit 1: Introduction to Culture and Inter-cultural Communication

1. Definition of culture for the study of communication 8

Unit 2: Making Introductions 14

Unit 3: Verbal Patterns 27

1. Rules and Styles of Speaking 29

Unit 4: Nonverbal Communication 44

Unit 6: Family Values 75

Unit 7: Educational Attitudes 95

Unit 8: Cultural Conflict 106

Unit 9: Cultural Adjustment 116

1. Culture Shock 117

 Communication: the process of sharing meaning through verbal

 Intercultural communication: communication between people

• Culture, unlike language, is not comprised of fixed rules applied to all

• There are no absolute “right” and “wrong” implied, only cultural

• People’s behaviour may not always reflect those values.

G.P.A. = grade-point average

In this unit we will learn:

2. meanings of the word ‘culture’

3. definitions of culture in any fields

4. definitions of intercultural communication

5. intercultural communication in the social life

This unit is about interpersonal communication among people from

1. Definition of culture for the study of communication

Definitions of culture are numerous. In 1952, Alfred L. Kroeber and

Our goal in presenting a particular definition of culture is to explain the

Culture is defined as a learned set of shared interpretations about beliefs,

2. Culture Is a Set of Shared Interpretations: Shared interpretations

I am in line at the grocery store, studying at a café, on a plane flying

4. Culture affects behavior: If culture were located solely in the minds of

5. Culture involves large group of people: We differentiate between

Culture is also often used to refer to other types of large groups of

2. Definition of inter-cultural communication

Intercultural communication in its most basic form refers to an academic

The definition of intercultural communication must also include strands

There are many researchers and academics of note within the

Questions for discussion

1. Brown H., (2000). Culture in the Classroom. In Principles of Language

3. Levine, D. R. & Adelman, M. B. (1982). Beyond Language. Intercultural

4. Myron W.Lustug & Jolene Koester (2010). Intercultural competence:

5. Nguyen Quang (Com. & Ed.). Intercultural Communication. Vietnam

6. Oxford Guide to British and American Culture. Oxford University

7. Tracy Novinger (2001). Intercultural communication- A Practical

8. Valdes, J. M. (1986). Culture Bound. Bridging the Cultural Gap in

In this unit we will learn:

3. Use of Titles in Introductions

4. Eye Contact and Handshaking in Introductions

5. Small Talk after Introductions

6. Cultural Variations in Introductions

MR. LUSTIG: How do you do, Dr. Johns?

FRIEND: I'd like you to meet my friend, Nancy Pipkin.

NANCY: Hi, Jack. Nice to meet you.

JACK: Hi, Nancy.

FRIEND: Hi, George, have you met Bill?

BILL: Hi! How ya doing?

The names of people in most English-speaking countries appear and are