FLAME AND STARLIGHT

DANA ISALY
 CONTENTS

Theme Song
Porcelain Skin

Prologue
Part One
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Part Two
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Epilogue

Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Dana Isaly
 FLAME AND STARLIGHT
Copyright © 2021 Dana Isaly
All rights reserved.
Published: Dana Isaly 2021

No parts of this book may be reproduced in any form without written consent from the author. Except
in the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a piece of fiction. Any names, characters, businesses, places or events are a product of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, events or
locations is purely coincidental.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to
other people. If you are reading this book and have not purchased it for your use only, then you should
return it to your favorite book retailer and purchase your own copy.
Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

Editing: Sandra at One Love Editing

Cover Design: AC Graphics
Formatting: Pink Elephant Designs
 To Michelle,
Happy Birthday
 THEME SONG

Like Real People Do - Hozier

Porcelain Skin by Josh Wilbanks

She touched me
and it felt

as if

the stars
were dancing
across

my skin.
 PROLOGUE

“Once upon a time, a baby was born.” I settled further into my bed and pulled
my fluffy pink sheets up to my nose and inhaled the sweet lavender scent of
them. “This baby was a gift to the world, and her mother was given the
charge of keeping her safe.”
“That’s me!” I whispered with delight as my mother smiled down at me.
She brushed some stray hair out of my face and continued.
“This baby was born with magick in her blood. She was born with fire in
her fingertips and starlight in her eyes. Those eyes shone so bright, they lit up
the world and banished the darkness. Her fire lit the world aflame with
warmth and happiness. That magic in her veins ran wild and free, just like
she would one day.”
I hugged my teddy closer to my chest as her smile faded to a frown. I
knew this part too well.
“But this little baby was in danger from the moment she was born. There
were creatures called the Fae that wanted her power for themselves. They
wanted to hunt her down and take her from her mother.”
I shook my head and sank deeper against my pillow.
“These Fae were so powerful that they made the Earth shake and the sky
tremble as they searched for her. But her mother was clever and snuck her out
of their world and into a new one. One that was void of magic and power.
And in this world, the baby would be safe and hidden.”
“They won’t get me!”
She smiled and tucked me in tighter. “They will not get you, sweet one. I
will be here to protect you for as long as I possibly can.”
“At least until I’m seven,” my four-year-old self said. My mother threw
her head back in warm laughter.
“At least. And who knows,” she said. “Maybe one day, that little girl will
grow into a strong, clever woman. Maybe she will embrace her power and the
magic of her birth. Maybe,” she said with a smile, “she’ll decide to go back.”
PART ONE
ESTERIA
 CHAPTER ONE

I was going to be so very early. I didn’t know what it was about my special
brand of anxiety, but if I wasn’t twenty minutes early everywhere, I was late.
I needed to give myself something to do—something to hold—while I waited
outside the classroom like the eager beaver I was. I turned into the coffee
shop, pushing down the butterflies that instantly gurgled up into my throat. I
hated going in someplace new.
I sighed with relief when there was at least one person in front of me.
This would at least give me time to look at what I wanted and not have to
fumble for words. I heard the door jingle and felt the looming presence of
someone walk up behind me. I ordered and went to wait at the end of the
counter. Feeling very much aware of every person in the shop, I pulled out
my phone and scrolled to pass the time.
My phone buzzed. It was Aoife. “EE-fa” in my phone. When I first met
her, I had put her in my phone like that so my American brain could
remember how to pronounce it. Two years later and she still wouldn’t let me
change it, finding it hilarious.
Meet you on the corner? Should be there in a few.
Sounds good. Just getting a coffee.
I would forever love that girl for knowing I would be early and showing
up to make sure I wasn’t alone.
“Alys?” I looked up and smiled.
“Ta!” Over the two years I had been in York, I had developed quite the
Yorkshire accent. My friends at work had made me practice daily when I first
arrived, and after a few months of that, no one could tell I was American
anymore. The lilting up-and-down cadence of the Yorkshire accent made me
fall in love with anyone that spoke to me. I picked up the paper cup off the
counter, turned, and stepped right into someone. I held out my cup to keep it
from spilling.
“Oh, sorry,” I said without fully looking at him and veered to the left. All
I caught was black hair, pale skin, and tattoos. Out of my league, I couldn’t
help but think. I pulled my sunglasses down off my head and back over my
eyes as I stepped back out into the rainy sunlight. I loved England. There was
always a smell of rain in the air, and sometimes, due to the chocolate factory
in town, that sweet smell drifted through the streets as well. I watched my
black heeled boots as I stepped down onto the old cobblestone street leading
to the uni. I walked past an old Roman wall, or what was left of it, and then
down another street until I curved under the Viking wall that was still
surrounding the city.
“Hiya!” Aoife said as I rounded the corner. Strands of her copper hair
blew into her face. “Shitting wind,” she swore as she pushed the strands back
into her beanie. She always looked so effortlessly cute in her Vans, cuffed
jeans, and big sweaters that all but swallowed her small frame.
“Good morning,” I laughed as she fell into step next to me. “Many of the
things you dislike about England are my favorite things about England, you
know. If you want to trade citizenships, I will happily trade lives.” We
walked across the big expanse of concrete and pushed through the glass doors
into the uni.
“You know I would never say no to living in America.” I rolled my eyes
at her and opened the door for her into the hall. “What is that? You’ve got
something on your neck.” She brushed at something I couldn’t see on the
right side of my neck as she passed by me into the small corridor.
“I dunno, I don’t see anything.” She crinkled her nose and shook her
head. I followed her down the hallway of pale blue carpet. “Anyway,” I
drawled. “You off to your job after this? I’m working until close tonight, and
I think we are all going out afterwards if you fancy it. You can stay at mine.”
We stood off to the side and waited for the lecture before us to filter out.
“Oh, yes please. I only work ’til half past six. Can I run to yours after and
drop off all my stuff, and then I’ll meet you?”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll let Liz know you’ll be stopping by.”
I handed her my coffee, pulled out my keys, and twisted my house key
slowly off the ring, handing it over. She was still looking at my neck. “Did
you finish the book?” I asked, taking my coffee back. I glanced down. I still
didn’t see anything, but there was a strange creeping feeling making its way
over my shoulder.
“I did. I’m not sure how exciting he can make Alice in Wonderland, but
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“At least he isn’t hard to look at.” I grinned into my coffee and tried to
wink.
She laughed. “Your winking looks more like a stroke.”
“Oh, thanks,” I said, nudging her with my shoulder as we walked into the
lecture.

“Hiya!” I called out to my boss as I raced into the little shoe shop.
“You alright, Alys?” she called back. I waved at her in response and
started up the three stories to the top of the skinny building where the lockers
were.
“Hey, guys,” I said, poking my head in quickly on the first landing into
the break room.
“Cuppa?” Tom asked as I started up the next flight of stairs.
“Three sugars, please!” I yelled back.
“You will get two and be happy!” he shouted after me. I laughed.
“Bloody American,” he said more quietly.
“Heard that!”
Taking two stairs at a time, I climbed the other two stories and tossed my
bag on the floor. I slipped out of my coat and shoved it into a locker. It was
always so dark up in the top-floor stockrooms. There was one skylight in the
room on the left, but the only other source of light was a couple of dim
ceiling lights. Those lights never fully worked, and the ceilings were low, so
low that my five-foot self was able to reach up and touch them. It never failed
to give me a bit of vertigo. And it didn’t help that every building in this
sodding city was five hundred years old.
I pulled at my tights and readjusted my tight black skirt and oversized
sweater back over them. Kneeling down next to my bag, I took out my little
mirror and touched up my makeup. Sitting on the creaky wooden floor, I felt
a prickling sensation make its way around my neck and up into my scalp.
My heartbeat raced, and my breathing picked up. My palms went
clammy. I could feel something behind me. I just knew there was something
in the back of the stockroom to my right. I turned around quickly, but I was
only met with shoeboxes on shelves. The feeling disappeared, and my heart
returned to its normal rhythm as I rubbed the sensation away from my neck.
I shoved everything back in my bag and ran downstairs, more quickly
than was necessary, the feeling licking at my heels. When I rounded the
corner and went into the break room, Tom was just finishing my tea. Ella
stood off to the side, sipping hers and playing on her phone. I rubbed my
neck again.
“Hiya, babes,” she said as she looked up at me and smiled and then went
back to her phone.
“Hey.” I smiled uneasily.
Tom looked up at me and handed me my tea. “You alright?”
I nodded and mentally shook it off. “I hate those stockrooms up there.
They give me the creeps.”
“Only two sugars to stave off the diabetes in your American blood. One
day soon, we’ll have you down to one.” He winked at me, and he most
definitely did not look like he was having a stroke. My stomach did a little
flip. His blue-grey eyes always looked like they were laughing. He had on
some fitted jeans and a plain grey long-sleeve shirt that defined the muscles
in his arms. I brushed past him to get to the sign-in sheet and fixed the back
of his shirt that was flipped up and out of place.
“Cheers, mum,” he said over his shoulder, and I rolled my eyes.
“We still going out tonight?” I asked, taking a sip of my tea. Since being
here, I’d grown to prefer tea over coffee, and it settled my nerves. I noticed
he had picked my favorite mug. Just a plain white thing but wider and more
sturdy than the others we kept at the shop. I grinned, and my eyes found his
again.
“Yeah, we were just talking about that. Figured we’d start off at Mad Eye
down the road,” Ella said, putting her phone back up in the cabinet. I peeled
my eyes off Tom and let them find Ella instead.
“Aoife is going to pop in at closing and go with us,” I said and started to
follow Ella downstairs to the shop floor. I turned around before heading
down the stairs and looked at Tom, pointing my finger. “That means she is
staying with me. Which, in turn, means that I will not be able to take care of
your drunk ass again tonight, Thomas.”
He laughed and held up his hands in mock surrender. I turned back
around and headed down.
“Ass,” he said under his breath, mocking my American accent. I smiled,
made my way to the white tile floor, and went to straighten the shoes.

I took my break late so that I could get ready to go out and not look
overdressed for the rest of my shift. I sat in the break room, curling my hair
and shoving way too many pasties in my mouth. Every time I got ready to go
out, my stomach would flutter with anticipation. I was never anxious to go
out with these people, my friends.
When I first moved over here and got the job, I was nervous every day.
And then over the last two years, they became my family. The butterflies in
my stomach were in anticipation of the memories I would make. England felt
more like my home than any other place I had ever lived. I loved this messed-
up family of mine so much it hurt sometimes. I dreaded the thought of having
to leave when my visa was up. I didn’t know where home was after this part
of my story.
The little mirror I was using to watch myself curl my hair was really not
doing me any good. All I could see in the tiny reflection was a mass of
chocolate-colored waves. I moved it around to see as much as I could and
called it a day. I added more to my makeup and donned a very deep-plum
matte lipstick that set off my honey-colored eyes.
“What’re you wearing?” Ella stepped onto the landing outside the break
room to take the stuffing out of some shoes for a customer.
“I just brought that plain black midi dress I’ve got with the slit in it. Just
going to wear these same boots.” I lifted my leg to show her. “ You?” I threw
my makeup back in my bag and turned off my straightener.
“I brought a jumpsuit that I’m going to change into. That dark green one I
got the other day, remember?” I nodded and smiled, wiggling my eyebrows.
She threw the paper at me and let out a small laugh. “Tom ran down to the
shop to get us some pre-drinks.” She rolled her eyes before disappearing
down the stairs. “That boy can get away with murder in this place!”
I laughed and clocked back in to start helping them close. Aoife
eventually showed up and came upstairs to sit around until we were all done.
She was dressed in a Peter Pan–collared black dress and Vans. Her hair was
straightened and pulled halfway out of her face, showing off her pretty green
eyes that I was insanely jealous of. I had never seen anyone with eyes the
color of actual emeralds.
“You alright?”
Her feet were propped up on a stool, and her arms were crossed over her
chest. Her eyebrows knitted together a bit as she looked at me like she was
worried. She chewed her thumb and nodded, waving me off.
“Yea, I’m fine.” She sighed and stretched down to trace lines over the
tattoos covering her legs. “Just thinking about a paper.”
I squinted at her, suspicious, but let it go and went upstairs to change. I
was having a rare good night, more confident than I normally was. I wasn’t
skinny, having a little more up top, in the middle, and in the thighs than I
appreciated, but the dress I wore seemed to flatter my figure.
“Alys!” Aoife yelled up at me. “The door is locked, the money is
counted, and we have shots!”
“Say less!” I shouted back and walked out of the bathroom. It was on the
second floor, and as I stared at those dimly lit steps leading up to the third
story, I felt that same creeping sensation wrap itself around my neck. Tom
caught me by the shoulders as I came running down the last flight of stairs,
slinging one arm over me and pulling me close. My arm wrapped around his
waist. He smelled like apple vodka and fresh laundry. He handed me a shot.
“It’s your favorite,” he sang. I threw it back, grimacing as it burned all the
way down. He looked down at my face, then my chest, then my hips, and
then back up to my face, and I flushed. But if anyone else noticed, they didn’t
say anything. Then again, they never did. His cheeks were already getting
ruddy, so I knew he had already had quite a few while helping clean up. This
meant I would probably end up taking care of him later, trying to get him to
his own house or mine. The latter made my heart skip a beat, and I willed it
back into rhythm. We had been down this road too many times, with my
feelings being hurt every single time.
“Ready?” He smiled at me, and I nodded.
“Let’s go!” I said. I took another swig straight from the bottle and slinked
out of his grasp. Fuck it. If he was getting wasted, I was getting wasted.
There was a loud knocking on the door to the shop downstairs, and we all
grabbed our stuff and headed out. We waved at our boss at the back of the
shop and said goodbye.
“Gaffa, make sure you come meet us later!” Tom yelled down the shop at
her. Gaffa was slang for boss. She just waved us away and smiled. Sara
would come out with us pretty often and normally ended up partying harder
than all of us combined, but if she wasn’t in the mood, she would shoo us
away and do her own thing.
“We’re coming, damn!” Ella said as she unlocked the door and a blast of
cold air flew in. The rest of the crew was waiting outside for us, and the
bottle got quickly passed around.
“Ugh,” Max said, swallowing a mouthful. “Why the apple stuff?” He
grimaced and passed it over to Harry and Ashley, who were trying to use
each other for body heat. Ashley’s chestnut hair was whipping around in the
wind.
“It’s the only thing Lyssa here will drink straight,” Tom said, defending
his choice. I scoffed at the nickname. I never let anyone call me Lyssa
besides him. We started walking towards Mad Eye quickly. “Remember
when she and Will tied for Favorite New Employee at the Christmas do and
she had to take a double shot of Sambuca?”
I cringed at the memory and linked my arm through Aoife’s. I had a vivid
memory of that shot lighting my throat, nose, and eyes on fire. Everyone had
a good laugh at my expense, and I rolled my eyes at them, laughing as well.
“I had, like, zero drinking experience, and I hate licorice,” I said, looking
at them. “Drinking that stuff was like drinking licorice that was on fire.”
The bottle made its way back to Aoife. She took a drink and handed it
over to me. There were probably three shots left in it. I broke free of her arm
and walked a bit ahead of everyone, turned around and started walking
backwards, and downed the rest of it. “And I think I’ve gotten much better,
thank you.” I pointed a sweeping finger at all of them and bowed. Tom
grinned at me. God, I loved it when he smiled at me.
“Much better for an American,” Aoife said. I laughed and threw the
empty bottle into the bin on the corner.
Mad Eye’s was relatively crowded, but it only helped warm us all up as
we went in and made our way to the bar. The place was known for its
signature two-for-five-pound cocktails, so it was constantly covered up with
uni students. It was dark, and your shoes always stuck to the floor. The entire
place smelled like sugar and stale cigarettes. Aoife grabbed my hand as we
walked in and tried to make our way to the bar.
 “First round on me,” Harry said, making his way to the bar first. “Try to
find a table?”
We nodded and made our way to the back where the stairs were. The
tables were heavy and wooden and had absolutely no order at all to how they
were placed. We weaved our way through the people and clunky tables and
found the skinny off-kilter steps that led to the first floor. We found two
tables and pushed them together, stealing as many chairs as we could.
“Six will be enough for now. Once my sister and Naomi get here, we can
track down another couple for them.” Tom almost had to shout over the
music. He pushed two chairs over to me and Aoife. I noticed Harry walking
over with a tray of drinks. I waved at him, and he hurried over as we all sat
down.
“Drink up!” He sat down next to Ashley and slung his arm over the back
of her chair. Everyone grabbed two. I grabbed for the ones I knew I would
like and hoarded them both close to me. They were pink, and the glass was
lined with sugar.
“He’s a moron,” she said for only me to hear.
“Who?” I asked, leaning closer and taking a very long drink of my
cocktail, noticing I was already getting tipsy.
She gave me a pointed look. Oh. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “You don’t
think I noticed him looking at you before we left?”
“It’s fine. Maybe we can get through one night without me being an
idiot?” I was referring to how, on a regular basis, I would make a fool out of
myself trying to win him over by dancing with him, trying to keep up with
his drinking, and then taking care of his incoherent ass. It was her turn to roll
her eyes.
“You’re not an idiot.” She downed her entire drink in one go. I stared at
her. She looked at me and shrugged. “I’m English. I can drink you under the
table any day.” We laughed, and she sat her glass back down on the table and
picked up her other one and downed that as well.
“Christ, alright. Aoife is the one to beat tonight,” Ella said, throwing hers
back as well. I groaned internally. If this became a night of drinking
competitions, I would most definitely need to be carried home with a sick
bag. I braced myself and finished one of mine, licking the sugar off the rim of
the glass afterwards. I brought the other one to my lips and took it in several
long swigs. Everyone followed suit, and Aoife stood up.
“My round,” she said and grabbed the tray. Not a single stumble in her
steps as she walked away. Meanwhile, I could feel my face getting warm.
Two cocktails and, what had it been, five shots? Six?
“Toilet?” Ash caught my eye, and I nodded and stood.
You’re tipsy. You’re tipsy.
Before I could control it, my hand of its own volition dragged itself
across Tom’s back as I walked around him. Such a nice back. Ash grabbed
that hand and led me to the toilet, but not before I felt him lean back into my
touch just slightly.
 CHAPTER TWO

Until you are tipsy in a bathroom with one of your best friends, you don’t
really understand how much you can really love someone. Ashley was the
friend who was always happy to see you, always happy for anything you
accomplished. She had your back and was fierce for the people she loved.
She held my hand tightly as we squeezed down the skinny stairs, careful
to not let me lose my balance. She continued to hold my hand as we snaked
through the tables and people to get back to the front of the bar and around
the corner to the big bathroom. As we passed the bar, I searched for Aoife but
couldn’t find her. That’s weird, I thought to myself. Ash tugged me, opened
the bathroom door, and ran her hand down the back of my hair to lead me in.
“You can go first,” she said as she locked the door and made her way
over to the sink and mirror. Her hands ran through her chestnut hair, snagging
on windswept tangles. She groaned and dug through her bag for a brush. “I
just wish,” she started as she pulled it out, “that you two could just figure out
whatever the hell it is you have going on.”
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to talk about this right now. I stood up and
adjusted my dress. A gust of cold air fluttered across the floor from under the
door. I shivered.
“Let’s not talk about it right now. I’ll keep these stupid hands to myself
the rest of the night.” I looked up at her, and she was staring at herself in the
mirror, lipstick hovering over the middle of her bottom lip. “Ash?”
Gooseflesh rose up all over my body. She didn’t move. “Ashley,” I said a bit
louder and took a step towards her. That feeling of unease tiptoed up over my
shoulder and snaked its way through my hair. I slowly took a few more steps
over to her until I was a hand’s width away from her. She wasn’t even
blinking.
What the hell is wrong with her?
My mouth was suddenly dry; my tongue felt swollen and stuck.
I lifted my left hand slowly up to hers to try and get her attention and pull
the lipstick away from her face. So quickly I could barely see her move, her
other hand grabbed a fistful of my hair and slammed my head into the mirror.
Blinding, white-hot pain seared through my scalp. As if in slow motion,
stunned, my head bounced off the now cracked mirror and hit the side cast-
iron sink as my legs gave out beneath me. Then I was on the floor, blackness
filling the sides of my vision. I saw her feet turn towards the door, and the
lock slicked open. The door opened just wide enough for a pair of boots to
squeeze in, and then it was shut again.
“What a good girl you were, Ashley,” a deep voice purred. “You may
leave now. Give a good excuse as to why your friend here won’t be joining
you tonight.”
My heart was thrumming in my chest so violently I felt like I was going
to be sick. There was a roaring in my ears, and my breaths came in and out
through my nose too quickly, too shallow. I was hyperventilating. I blinked.
The blackness on the sides of my vision slowly crept in further. Without a
sound, Ashley left. I heard a pitiful noise escape my lips.
“Oh, little duck,” said the man as he squatted next to me. The English pet
name rolled off his lips a little too easily. “I apologize for that, but I needed
you subdued.” Cloudy black hair framed his out-of-focus face. He pushed
some of my hair away from my eyes. “Let’s get you off this dirty floor, shall
we?”
His face barely came into focus before he swung me up and over his
shoulder. The swift motion sent my stomach rolling and my head spinning. I
could feel warm blood trickle into my hair. The bathroom door opened, and
he carried me out into the bar, towards the door. Everyone was staring,
whispering about how drunk I must be.
Can they not see I’m bleeding?
And then Aoife’s fountain of hair was at the bar, her back towards me.
“Aoife,” I thought I whispered.
And then…black.
I remembered my mom always told me that my anxiety, no matter how hard
it was to deal with, would actually keep me safe. It would keep my walls up,
my senses sharp. Anytime I would get upset about how hard it was to go
places on my own or meet new people or try new things, she would wrap me
up in her arms and kiss my hair.
“It can be such a blessing in disguise, Alys. Every time you enter a room,
you are aware. That keeps you safe. Think of it that way.” Her thumbs would
gently wipe my tears away.
I got too comfortable. That was why this happened. I was in a very
crowded public space with no anxiety. Alcohol had me unobservant. Tom
had me distracted. I wasn’t aware of everyone in the room, and I didn’t think
it was necessary to know my exits. I thought I was safe.
I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. At one point, he slid me off
his shoulder and cradled me in his arms like a small child. I managed to open
my eyes, and we were still walking, my head slightly bobbing against his
shoulder. No one was paying any attention to us. I willed my body to move,
my mouth to open, but my brain couldn’t communicate with it. My head
lulled back into blackness again.
He wasn’t even out of breath when I jerked back awake and my body
gave a little kick. He glanced down, and his grip on me tightened like he
thought I might try to escape. But that movement was involuntary, and I
couldn’t do more than that before my eyes met his blue ones and my brain
slid back into darkness.
“Can you stand?” I heard him asking.
I realized as I groggily came back to Earth that my feet were on the
ground, but my legs were definitely not holding me up. My entire body
weight was like a limp noodle pressed into him, my head barely even
reaching his shoulder, even though I had heels on. His left arm was wrapped
around my back, his right hand not so gently slapping me awake.
I leaned away from him and grabbed onto a cement wall behind me. He
still held me up as I tried to take in my surroundings. I blinked away the
blackness threatening my vision again. Nothing in my life had ever prepared
me for this. We were still in the city but just far enough out to where it was
quiet enough to hear the current of the river below us. My heart dropped
through my body.
 I pushed off the cement wall, now realizing that it was actually just a very
short barrier between myself and the river. The river that so many drunken
university kids had fallen into and lost their lives. I pushed myself back into
him unconsciously and whimpered.
“No, no, no,” I said under my breath. I immediately knew he planned to
throw me over this bridge. I didn’t know if it was my thalassophobia or the
concussion I surely had, but I clung to him like he was my only salvation.
“Please don’t throw me in there,” I whimpered as I looked into his eyes.
Look in his eyes. Make him realize you are a real person.
“So dramatic, sweetheart. I will not be throwing you in the river.” Relief
washed over my entire body. “We will be jumping in together.” It was his
turn to stare into my eyes. “I am going to sit up onto this little wall here, and
then I will lift you up and we will go in together.”
He must be out of his fucking mind.
“You must be out of your fucking mind.”
I started to cry out of sheer panic. He sat on the wall and tugged hard on
my arm to bring me to him. His fingertips dug into my flesh, and it was the
only thing keeping me from fainting. “Alyssandra, you will not die. We are
not technically going in the river.” I blinked at my full name. Not many
people knew it was anything other than Alys.
What did he mean we weren’t technically going into the river? My eyes
darted from him to the river. My breaths were fast and shallow, and I could
see stars forming in my vision when I blinked away the constant flow of
tears. “Please,” I said and tried to take a step away, but his hand only grasped
harder.
“Little duck,” he said with his other hand suddenly grabbing my jaw and
forcing me to look at him. “Shut. Up.” He lifted me with inhuman speed, and
then we were falling. A scream caught in my throat as I felt the ice-cold water
envelop my body and flood into my open mouth. I coughed and gripped him
around his neck so hard I thought I might choke him to death if the river
didn’t kill us first. The water in my mouth tasted of dirt and debris. I sucked
in water through my nose and involuntarily coughed. I started to kick
violently to get us back to the surface while my lungs screamed that they
needed air.
“Ow! Dammit, Alyssandra, stop!” I opened my eyes at his voice, and we
weren’t in the river. I gasped so deeply that a strange groan escaped my
throat. We were standing. Well, he was standing. I was clinging to his neck
and hanging from him while kicking like a toddler throwing a tantrum. He
reached up and peeled my arms off his neck. I dropped to the ground, my legs
refusing to hold me upright. He swore and bent over to rub his shins.
“Was the kicking absolutely necessary?”
I looked around, and my brain couldn’t—wouldn’t—process what had
happened. We had fallen into a river, but where were we now? I pushed up
on all fours, still looking around. All I could see were trees. A scream was
bubbling up in my throat; I could feel it.
Oh wait. No. That’s vomit.
I grabbed my hair as best I could with one hand, noticing it was somehow
dry, and emptied my stomach onto the green forest floor. I heard him sigh as
he stood over me and grabbed all my hair in his fist. I tried to take a breath,
but the taste of alcohol and river water had me retching again. I spat and
crawled away as he released my hair.
“Where are we?” My throat was raw from being sick, so it came out as
more of a whisper. I took in my surroundings. Just miles and miles of
evergreens. What had happened? My mind was racing through all the books I
had read since I was a kid and all the stories my mom had told me. Fantasies
filled with magick portals and hidden other-realms teeming with magickal
beings. Was that what had happened here? My mind was adamant that that
could most definitely not be the case. But at the same time, it couldn’t come
up with another reason, another excuse as to how not even five minutes ago I
was sitting on a bridge falling into a river, and now I was in the middle of a
forest.
The stranger squatted down in front of me, and it was the first time I got a
really good look at him. His hair was so black in this moonlight it almost
looked blue, and it grazed his thick eyebrows. His eyes were a pale blue,
nearly grey, and sat atop strong cheekbones and full lips. His jaw was strong
and sharp, and a nerve twitched there as he looked me over as well.
He had tattoos that ran down the thick column of his neck and
disappeared below the collar of his shirt only to poke out again on his defined
arms. And then it dawned on me. This was the same man I had run into,
literally, earlier in the coffee shop. But now he was almost glowing. He had a
very light dusting of pale blues and silvers over every inch of skin I could
see. So faint that I had to squint to see it, but it was there.
“Who are you? What do you want with me?”
“My name is Asher. And you are in Esteria. Welcome home,
Alyssandra.” I swallowed a very large lump of fear and disbelief. Home?
“What I want with you—” He paused and pushed his hair back away from his
face as he took a moment to think. And there were his ears, coming to a slight
point at the tips. “What I want with you we can discuss at a later time when
we are not so near a pool of your vomit.”
A strangled laugh bubbled up out of my mouth, and one of his eyebrows
raised and disappeared under his hair. If the guy hadn’t just kidnapped me, I
might have thought he was very, very handsome.
“That’s insane. This is insane. You are insane.” I stuck my finger in his
face, and he shrank back from it with a look of disgust. “This kind of stuff
does not exist in real life.”
He rolled his eyes and stood up, dragging me with him by the arm. “Did
your mother really never tell you any stories of us? Of your home?”
I cried out in protest as his fingers dug into the same spots as before. My
mind was racing through all the stories my mother had told me about Faeries.
At the time, I would always laugh at her when she would act like they were
real, as if they had happened to her.
My entire body was tender and bruised. I used my free hand to reach up
and delicately touch the cut on my head where it had collided with the mirror
and sink. I hissed a sharp intake of breath when my fingers came into contact
with the lump forming there and came away slick with blood. I swore and
fought back the tears threatening to fall. “Please take me home.” I sounded
much stronger than I felt.
“Okay, enough chitchat.” He fisted my hair again, less gently this time, I
noted, and forced my head to crane back so that he could see me. I reached
up and gripped his forearm, hoping it would cause him to loosen his grip.
Instead, he gripped tighter, and I stood on my tiptoes to try and take the
pressure off my head. I winced, and a tear rolled down my cheek from the
tightness in my scalp.
“You are very weak considering,” he said matter-of-factly. He leaned
closer, and shadows began to pool over his shoulders and around his face. My
breath caught in my throat, and my eyes widened. I tried to push away from
his chest and escape the vise grip tangled in my hair, but I couldn’t move.
Those shadows stretched out to me like snakes coiling to bite. As they drifted
closer, I could smell jasmine and a hint of cedar. One touched my cheek, cold
as ice and darker than night. I screamed and, for the fourth time that night,
blacked out.
 CHAPTER THREE

I awoke to fractured sunlight and sore bones. I stretched as gently as I could,

but my muscles screamed with every fragment of movement. I blinked
slowly and tried to remember where I was. Did I black out last night? I
looked at the cream linen sheets wrapped up to my chin. I didn’t recognize
the sheets or the room.
“Oh good! You’re awake.” I jumped at the voice and sat upright, ready to
bolt. But my head was staunchly against any type of escape and gave me a
lightning bolt of pain to convince me to sit still. Everything that happened
last night came crashing back into my memory. “Whoa, girl. You’re going to
be sore and tired for a few days after what you went through.”
A small older woman carried over a tray filled with food. She had long
grey hair that was tied off to the side in a braid. She sat the tray down at the
foot of the bed, and when she came closer, I could see a slightly pointed ear
that her hair was tucked behind.
“My name is Mavka, but you can call me Mav. I’m here to make sure
you’re fed, bathed, and resting. I’m not a healer, but he will be here soon, and
I will take care of you as best I can.”
I was frozen in place, not daring to move as she grabbed the covers and
fluffed the pillows behind me. She pulled the tray piled high with food over
my lap. My panicked mind was sifting through all the stories I had been told
about these supposedly mythical creatures. The food wasn’t safe to eat for
mortals, right? I vaguely remembered a book that talked about the food
creating a drunken effect on our minds. She touched my shoulder, and
suddenly, feelings that didn’t feel like my own washed over me: concern,
curiosity, and a little taste of impatience. I jerked away from her.
“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you. Eat up. It’s safe, and it’ll help you
heal.”
I settled back into my own panic and confusion over what was happening
and looked down at the array of food in front of me. There was so much to
choose from: pastries, fruit, muffins, coffee, tea, and a glass of juice. I lifted a
muffin to my nose and sniffed. It smelled like sweet blueberries and nothing
strange. My stomach let out a growl, demanding I eat it. I took a small bite,
and it practically dissolved on my tongue. I must’ve let out a small grunt of
happiness because I heard a quiet laugh come out of Mavka across the room.
“Once you’re finished, there’s a hot bath ready for you in the bathing
room. That door there,” she said and pointed at the wooden door across the
room. “I’ve laid out some clean clothes for you to change into next to the
bath. Go ahead and change into those and get back into bed and rest until the
healer comes.”
I finished the muffin as she spoke. “Why am I here?” I swallowed a drink
of tea. “Who was that guy last night? Is this a dream? Like, am I on drugs and
hallucinating?”
She stopped halfway out the door and raised an eyebrow. Anxiety tended
to give me word vomit.
“So many questions. You’ll get your answers later, but yes, this is real, as
I’m sure you suspect. And there are guards out here, so don’t try and run.” At
the mention of guards, my breakfast almost came back up.
“The guy that brought me here, Asher. Is he always such a prick?”
She laughed quietly under her breath. “I’ll be back to check on you in a
bit.” And that was it. She was gone, and I was left on my own in this new and
very strange place. A very strange place that my mind couldn’t begin to
comprehend. Sifting through the many memories I had of my mother, I
picked out all the ones where she spoke of the Fae: incredibly long lives,
powers beyond my imagination, and skies the color of cotton candy. As a kid,
I might have believed them, but as I got older, the novelty wore off. I just
started to believe she was eccentric, a storyteller. Clearly, I was wrong.
I stood up out of bed so very slowly and walked over to one of the
windows. It seemed like this place was placed right in the middle of dense
forest. It was a steep, sharp fall from my window to the snowy ground below.
All I could see were evergreens on all sides heavily blanketed in freshly
powdered snow. It was morning, and the sun was shining in that pale,
hesitant way it does in the winter. But in the light blue-and-pink cotton-candy
sky, I could still see the faint shimmer of stars.
I turned around and surveyed the room. In front of the bed was a
fireplace, still crackling and smelling of hickory, and a couple of deep chairs
sat in front. To the left of the fireplace was the door that led to the bathing
room, and to the right was a small vanity and mirror. I had no inclination to
look at myself and see the state I must be in. I made my way to the bathing
room and slowly opened the door. Tendrils of steam curled out around my
feet. The biggest bathtub I had ever seen took up almost half the room and
pressed up against a window that showed off the steep drop to the forest
below. This bath would easily cover me up to my shoulders as I sat in it. I
quickly closed the door, suddenly feeling sticky with sweat and the dirt from
the river. I peeled off my dress from last night and practically jumped into the
warm water.
My muscles almost instantly felt more relaxed. I found a bar of soap
sitting on the side and lathered it up, breathing in the fresh scent of
eucalyptus and lavender. When I began to rub the soap up my arms, I saw the
bruises. Kisses of blue and purple, fading into black, and the size of
fingertips, marking where he had grabbed me. Asher. I craned my head back,
sinking my hair into the water, and hissed as it came into contact with the cut
on my temple. As gently as I could, I massaged and cleaned my hair. Once I
was done, I laid my head on the corner of the bath and closed my eyes,
sinking into the water as deep as I could.
I lay there and waited for the tears to come, for the panic attack to creep
its way into my chest. But it didn’t. A very small part of me, I realized, felt
like this place connected me with my mother once more. I closed my eyes
and thought of all my friends, probably wondering where the hell I got off to
last night. Would they be texting me? What would happen when I didn’t
show up to classes or work? What would happen with my student visa? There
was no one to miss me back in the States. But my friends were my family
now. And what would they think when I just stopped showing up and their
messages weren’t returned?
He had told Ashley to give them an excuse. Had Ashley been in on this
whole thing? Would she give them an excuse that would keep them from
worrying for a day? Two? A week? Months? What had made Ashley do this?
She was one of my best friends. She was part of my family. Had he
threatened her?
A soft knock on the door brought me out of my spiraling thoughts. The
bathwater was suddenly cold, and I shivered against the gooseflesh on my
arms. “Yes?” My heart kicked against my chest.
“Just me, dearie.” Mavka’s lilting accent came softly through the door.
“The healer is here if you can go ahead and get dressed and pop on out for
us.”
“Um, okay,” I answered back and slowly climbed out of the bath, taking a
towel off the radiator on the wall. I quickly dried myself off, wringing my
hair into the towel, and hung it back up on the radiator to dry. The oil inside
clicked and popped, and that soft noise made me think of my cozy flat back
in England. The radiator on the wall next to my bed was constantly cracking
and groaning when the heat was turned on.
There was a pair of dark leggings, a very large cream sweater, some
underthings, and fuzzy socks sitting on a stool. I put them all on, relishing in
the clean laundered scent. I opened the door and peered out into the bedroom.
“If you’ll just come over here and sit next to the fire, he can look at that
head of yours.” Mavka was suddenly upon me and leading me over to the
fireplace. I breathed a sigh of relief as she motioned but didn’t touch me. I
didn’t know if it was a Faery thing, me feeling what seemed like her
emotions, or if it was just her, but I did not want to experience that again.
Standing next to the fire was a tall, rail-thin male in an old brown cloak. I
walked over to him, and he motioned for me to sit on the chair next to him.
He peered down at my temple, not touching it but studying it for a long
moment with his unnaturally green eyes before he stood straight again and
walked over to the vanity where a bag sat on the chair.
“It’s not too deep of a cut, so you shouldn’t have a scar. The lump is
going to be the most painful thing,” he said, rummaging through his leather
satchel. “Gently rub this cream on the cut a couple of times a day, and it will
be healed in a few days.” He handed me a tin jar. I opened the lid and gave it
a small sniff. It didn’t really smell of anything and looked like lotion. With a
quick bow, he slung his satchel over his shoulder and left the room.
“Here,” Mavka said, taking the tin. “Let me put some on for you.”
“Oh, that’s okay, Mav. Thank you. But I’d prefer to do it.” She shrugged
and handed it back to me. “Put that on right away. I’ve sat a cup of
chamomile tea on your nightstand. Drink that and try to get some more
sleep.”
 I knitted my brows and looked up at her. “Was I brought here to just
sleep?”
“Rest first, answers later. Traveling between the realms really takes it out
of you the first time. You’ll be able to sleep, trust me.” She smiled and made
the creases of her deep blue eyes crinkle. “I’ll be back later.”
I walked over to the vanity and took a breath to steady myself before
taking in my face. There was a nasty cut from the mirror that started at my
hairline above my temple and slashed crookedly down to my eyebrow. God,
it could’ve blinded me. The bruise around it was a sickly mixture of blues and
greens that reached across my forehead and even down past my cheekbone.
Other than that, I still looked like myself, just a bit tired. And then a glimmer
on my neck caught my eye. I pushed my still-wet hair back off my shoulders,
and there was a bluish dust, just like Asher’s, that settled itself over my neck
and down onto my right shoulder. I wiped at it roughly, but it wouldn’t move,
like it was tattooed there. What the—
“Okay, I am going to worry about that later,” I said aloud and opened the
small tin of cream. As gently as I could, I dabbed some of the cream onto my
cut. There was a brief moment of stinging before it settled in, and then a lot
of the pain in my head subsided. I hadn’t even realized I was clenching my
jaw until I could finally relax it.
Mavka wasn’t wrong. After that bath and with the pounding in my head
easing, I was feeling sluggish. I made my way back over to the bed that had
been made and looked to have fresh sheets on it. I peeled them back and
threw myself in. The smell of clean laundry and lavender cocooned me, and I
didn’t even have time to drink the tea before I drifted off to sleep. Strangely,
for the first time in a long time, my anxious thoughts didn’t talk me into a
stupor. It was finally quiet.

Mavka softly woke me up much, much later in the day. The pain in my head
was back but definitely not as bad as before. I stretched and slowly sat up in
bed. Looking out the window, I could tell that the sun was on its way down.
“I’ve slept all day?” I asked her while she poked the fire around and
added some logs.
“Takes it out of you.” She disappeared into the bathing chamber, and I
heard her digging through the chest in there. I leaned over to try and see what
she was doing, but she quickly returned and laid out a dress on the foot of the
bed. She looked at me, and I raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to dine with
him, and before you ask, yes, he is going to explain.”
“This dinner requires a dress? Can’t I just wear what I’m wearing?”
“You’ve been sleeping in that all day. And yes, you’ll dress appropriately
for a dinner with the High Lord.” My stomach fell through my butt. High
Lord? Like a King? “Up you get,” she said as she started to fold back the
sheets.
“I’m twenty-two, Mav. I can dress myself.” She ignored me and told me
to undress while she grabbed the dress off the bed. I sighed and resigned,
realizing she wasn’t going to leave it. She unzipped the heavy-looking dress
and gently bunched it at my feet for me to step into. The fabric was cool
against my sleepy skin as she pulled it up and over my hips. How they knew
what size I was, I had no idea.
It was strapless with a low sweetheart neckline and so blue it almost
looked black. It shimmered in the firelight. After she had it hooked and
zipped it, it was actually quite light. I didn’t think I would have the problem
of needing to constantly tug on it like other strapless dresses I had owned.
She pulled out flat silver slippers from under the bed and gestured for me to
put them on. When I pulled the dress up to slip them on, I caught sight of the
bruises on my arm again, five little blue-black cherries. A sliver of anger
skirted up my spine.
“Here, it’ll be a bit colder out through the corridors. Put this on.”
I slipped into the bright white fur cloak she had retrieved from the wall
next to the door. “It’s very brave of you to trust me in white. I’m not known
for being the most careful person.”
“We can clean anything,” she said with that warm smile returning,
crinkling at her eyes. “One of the guards, Emric, will take you to the dining
room.” She crossed the room to the door, and I hesitantly followed her.
Grabbing the tin off the vanity before I left, I dabbed a bit of the cream on my
cut. The pain instantly receded this time.
“Emric,” she said around the corner of the open door. “She’s ready. Best
get going before she’s late.” Still shaking the sleep off, I walked out the door.
“Miss Alys,” he said with a short nod. “I’ll be taking you to dinner.” He
was tall, almost as tall as Asher. But Emric had dark brown hair, and his
deep, tan skin was void of any dust. His long locks were pulled back into a
haphazard bun, showing off his pointed ears. He had tattoos that were similar
to Asher’s on his neck, but I couldn’t tell how many he had since every inch
of his skin was covered in uniform. I met his violet eyes and smiled.
“Lead the way.” I gestured out with my arm. The cloak slipped, and my
bruises made an appearance. I quickly sheltered my arm back inside. I had no
idea why I was trying to cover them up.
Because they make you look weak, I thought to myself.
Emric held out his arm, and I took it. His uniform was thick and woolen
and scratched at my arm. A few minutes passed in silence as we made our
way down this hall and that hall. I felt like I would never begin to remember
how to get to and from anywhere in this place.
“So, how old are you?” I blurted. I could feel the color rise in my cheeks
at my boldness. But my mother had told me they lived for hundreds, if not
thousands, of years. So I was curious.
He let out a short laugh. “That is an incredibly random and slightly rude
question, Miss Alys.” I looked up at him, and even though he was staring
straight ahead, he was grinning like I amused him.
“My mother told me that you’re immortal, or close to it. And I’m curious.
I think I’m owed a couple of questions here and there after I was thrown into
a mirror, tossed into a river, and literally stolen from my home.” I shrugged
but eyed him out of the corner of my eye, seeing if my guilt trip had worked.
He sighed.
“I’m three hundred and twenty-eight,” he said.
“Practically a child, then,” I said, trying to disguise the shock on my face.
He tipped his head back and laughed.
“Yes. Practically a child.” He looked down at me. “Any other questions
you’d like to get out before going in there with the man himself?”
“I think it would be more fun to save them for him.” We came to a grand
set of doors at the end of a brightly lit hallway, more guards on either side.
“I wish I could stay to watch that,” Emric said as the guards in front of us
opened the double doors. Soft heat flooded out and warmed my face. “I’ll be
back to get you.” He nudged me forward, and I walked into the great room.
Great was an understatement. It was enormous. The floors were a
glimmering black, and on each end of the room were fireplaces that had to be
taller than me, both cracking and snapping with heat. The wall across from
me was all glass and framed a mountainside covered in thick snow under the
pink-and-blue sky. The stars shone brighter now in the evening sun. All
around the walls of the room were soft cushioned chairs coupled together
with small tables in between. But in the middle of the room was a large,
imposing table, with too many chairs to count as I stood there, my eyes
flitting from one thing to another. And at the head of that table, dressed in all
black with a smirk resting on his face, was Asher.
“Hello, little duck.”
 CHAPTER FOUR

“Should I bow?” My voice was dripping with sarcasm. I eyed the shadows
that twisted around him like smoke, curling into his hair and around his
shoulders.
“So the secret’s out? You can if you so please, but I’m not that formal.”
The corner of his mouth twitched up. One day I would slap that stupid smirk
off his face. “You can hang your cloak up behind you there. It will be plenty
warm in here without it.”
I unbuttoned it and hung it next to the one I assumed was his on the wall.
When I turned back around, his eyes caught the marks he had left on my arm.
“I apologize for that,” he said as he stood and pulled out the chair to his right.
“I forgot my own strength along with how weak you would be.” He gestured
at the chair in front of him. I narrowed my eyes but crossed the distance
between us and sat down.
“So,” he said, filling the silence after he was back in his own seat. “Have
you eaten anything today?”
“I have questions,” I said flatly.
“I’m sure you do. But I, for one, would prefer to be assaulted by your line
of questioning after I have eaten. And I know you have to be hungry.” He
snapped his fingers, and dish after dish of food appeared on the table in front
of us. I jumped back in my chair. I looked at him and found that smug grin
again. He was pleased that he had startled me. I would most definitely slap
that face one day.
I leaned forward and sniffed at the food. Everything looked amazing and
normal. There was roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and fat,
buttered dinner rolls. My mouth watered, and I clenched my stomach as I felt
it rumble in a not-so-silent demand to eat. When I didn’t move, he reached
forward and grabbed my plate from in front of me and began to fill it up with
food.
“Are you going to feed me, too?” I asked when the plate was sat back in
front of me. He leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist, and smiled a bit
bigger now. I noticed his eye teeth were much sharper than my own.
“Eat the food, Alyssandra.”
I took a bite of chicken and fought the urge to just start shoveling it all in
my mouth. It was the best food I had ever tasted.
“About that,” I said, pointing the fork casually in his direction as I
swallowed. “How do you know my full name? I don’t make that public
knowledge.”
“I made it my job to know everything about you,” he said, tearing a roll
into pieces and bringing each one to his mouth.
“Hmm, seems like a waste of time. A High Lord spending his time and
effort looking into a measly human girl?” I scooped a heaping amount of
potatoes into my mouth. He watched me swallow. “Why would I be worth
looking into? And, before I forget, what’s this stuff on my neck?” I swiped a
hand over my neck and shoulder where I knew that dusting of silver sat
unmoving. “Is it going to spread all over until my skin looks like yours?” I
thought he had maybe flinched at my harsh tone, but he recovered so quickly
I barely saw.
“Ah, that. When I stepped into your path in the coffee shop, I planted a
bit of my dust on you. It helps me track you. View it as an extension of me.” I
felt my mouth fall open and that nagging kernel of rage start to slither its way
up my spine. He gave a little snort of laughter at the expression on my face.
“You can track me with this? Like your own little Faery GPS?” I was
clenching the knife and fork so hard in my hands I thought for a moment I
could bend that pretty silver just out of spite. “Take it back,” I said through
clenched teeth.
He tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips in mock contemplation.
“I don’t think I will,” he said after a painful amount of silence. I met his
stare straight on, trying to spew as much hate into my look as I could. He
gave a little shiver. “Why would I ever give up being able to taste all those
very human emotions you have?” My mouth fell open again. “So much
anger. You’re a violent little thing, aren’t you?”
I felt my entire body flush with embarrassment, and then, remembering
he could probably feel that, too, I pushed it deep into my belly. I stood, and
the chair scraped loudly against the tile floor.
“I would like to go back to my room.” My fingertips stayed splayed on
the table, and I focused all my thoughts on them. Out of the corner of my eye,
I saw him take a small sip of champagne.
“Sit down, Alyssandra,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I haven’t
answered your other question yet.”
I took a steadying breath and forced my legs to bend and my body to sit
back down. My appetite was suddenly very much gone. I grabbed the glass of
champagne from in front of me and threw it back. It burned all the way down,
and bubbles threatened at my nose, but I gave him the blankest stare I could
manage.
“Go on, then,” I said with a wave, imitating him. He smiled and leaned
back in his chair at an angle, his fingers making circles on the table.
“There is a lot at stake here, Alyssandra. I won’t go into full detail as I
can’t trust you or your weak mind to betray me.” I kept my eyes on him.
“But, supposedly, you are important. And there are a lot of Fae out there who
would kill to have you or just kill you. So I made it my mission to track you
down and take you before they could get their greedy little paws on you.” He
leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I’m half telling you this to
scare you and half telling you just because I don’t think it’s fair to let you go
on in life without realizing you’re in constant danger.” He paused. “Not from
my court, though. Not a single soul in my Court of Night will touch you,
speak of touching you, or even think of touching you.”
I swallowed. “That clearly doesn’t include you.” His jaw twitched, and I
patted myself on the back for that small victory. I sighed and leaned forward.
“That still doesn’t answer what you want with me.”
“For now, little duck, I would like you to learn how to fight. I need you to
be able to take care of yourself when I’m not around. And when I am around,
for that matter. I can’t be constantly worrying about you staying alive.”
“You expect me to become strong enough to stand against Fae?” I
thought back to how easily he had thrown me over his shoulder, how he had
been able to lift my entire weight with one hand under my arm. I knew my
mother had mentioned something about their endless strength, and I
wondered how my puny human muscles would be able to keep up.
 “You’re stronger than you think. That Fae blood that runs in your veins,
albeit a smaller amount than your likely foes, will begin to take over now that
you’re in this realm. I think it will, anyway.”
It took a second for my brain to catch up with his words. Fae blood in my
veins? All the warnings, all the stories, all the moving every year suddenly
made sense. My mouth went dry as sandpaper. If I was part Fae, and I was
for some reason important, no wonder my mom had us moving once, if not
twice, a year. No wonder she had filled my head with her stories of the Fae.
Not stories—memories? He was studying my face and I was sure all the
emotions I was feeling.
“You had to have had some inkling. My sources told me your mother told
you stories of us almost every day. She moved you from place to place every
year to keep you safe.”
“Yes, stories!” I shouted back at him. “I thought they were stories!” My
nails were gripping painfully into the wooden arms of my chair. “You’re
telling me that I am Fae.”
“Half Fae, yes.” A crazed laugh bubbled up through my throat at that
answer. Like being half Fae made it any less shocking. One of his eyebrows
shot up and under his blanket of hair. “That’s a strange response.”
I glared at him. “You said my Fae blood will start to take over.” He
nodded. “Does that mean I’ll end up with my own Faery dust all over my
skin?” And then I reached up, frantically gripping my ears, still rounded.
“Will my ears become pointed like yours?”
“Only time will tell what you’ll get from your father’s bloodline. I can tell
you that you will not get ‘Faery dust.’” His nose wrinkled at the term.” What
you see on my skin is only seen in the High Fae of the Night Court. Your
father is most definitely not of my court. As for the ears, I’m not sure. I
would assume so, but I can’t say for certain. I’m sure other gifts from your
father’s blood will begin to awaken, but what they’ll be, I don’t know.” He
finished off his glass of champagne. I thought mine might come back up. I
swallowed, and swallowed again at the dryness in my throat.
“You mentioned something about me learning how to fight. I have never
fought a day in my life. Who is going to teach me? You?”
It was his turn to bark out a laugh. I refused to let my cheeks redden. “No.
I have other things to worry about.” More important things than a measly
halfling, I thought to myself. “Emric will oversee your training and will
report back to me with your progress. I may also pop in from time to time to
see you for myself—see if any other little gifts make an appearance.”
“Any other gifts?” I asked, frowning. “Implying one has already made
itself known?” I couldn’t remember doing anything remarkable since I had
been here other than sleep.
That smirk made another appearance. “Your mouth and how you have the
alarming ability to not shut it.”
Now was as fine a time as any, I figured. I crouched closer and reared my
hand back, fully intending to make good on the promise I had made to myself
to slap that smirk off his face. With annoyingly catlike reflexes, he caught
and held my wrist in his hand before I even made it within a foot of his face.
He pulled me closer, and I could see his shadows pulsing around him,
threatening to come closer.
“That,” he said, gripping my wrist just a little tighter, “would be very,
very foolish of you.” I met his steely grey eyes with malice. I was holding my
breath, dreading the thought of inhaling his shadows, if that was even
possible. He tossed my arm back, and I landed in my seat with a thud. “I
wouldn’t try that again until you’ve gotten a bit stronger, and maybe a bit
faster as well.”
I let go of the breath I had been holding. I stood up, careful not to let the
chair scrape this time.
“I would like to go back to my room, Your Highness.” I swept back from
my chair and bent over as deeply as I could without falling to the floor. I
heard him laugh softly, and then he snapped his fingers. I stood back up and
brushed off the nonexistent dirt from the front of my dress. I didn’t know
what to do with my arms as he stared me down, so I crossed them like a
petulant child.
“Well, then, go on. Emric will walk you back.” The door opened behind
me, and Asher stood up and walked over to the giant panes of glass looking
over the mountains. I rolled my eyes at the back of his head and walked back
over to the door, grabbing my cloak off the wall. “Your training starts
tomorrow,” I heard him say, and Emric softly clicked the door shut behind
us.
I swung the cloak around my shoulders and buttoned it under my chin. I
was cold, and the food in my stomach felt like cement. For the first time in a
long time, my heart panged at the absence of my mother. And then a small
seed of anger blossomed. She should’ve told me. She should’ve prepared me
for this far better than she had. All those stories…they were just stories.
 My slippered feet padded on the cold floor as I followed Emric through
the halls. He mercifully left me to my thoughts. I had so many questions, and
I knew Asher would be the only person that would give me answers, but I
could barely look at him, let alone have a civilized conversation with him.
I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to blindly start trusting the people here,
especially the one that stole me from my perfectly normal life back home.
How was I supposed to start training, start learning to fight? I had never
trained in my life. I was pitifully weak compared to these Fae I found myself
surrounded by. If I was going to start fighting, I hoped Asher was right in one
aspect: that my Fae blood would start to take over and make me stronger. I
didn’t know who my father was, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to know just
yet. But if his blood was going to give me a chance at not dying at the hands
of the Fae who supposedly wanted me dead, I had to be thankful for that.
“We won’t be fighting immediately,” Emric said, bringing me back to the
hallway we were walking through. “First, we will get your strength up. I
would never expect you to just jump into a duel.”
“I would hope not.” I gave him a small smile. “I’ve never done any kind
of training in my life, so I’m sure I will be a much weaker subject than you
are used to.”
He shrugged. “Everyone starts somewhere.” We rounded a corner, and I
vaguely remembered where we were. My room was just up on the right.
“Mav will make sure you are up and ready on time. I believe Ash has made
sure you have plenty of clothes. It will be cold in the morning, but you’ll
have plenty of layers. Try to get a good night’s sleep and eat a big breakfast
—you’ll need the energy.”
My stomach became a pit of dread and anxiety. And it must’ve been
written all over my face because he took one look at me and laughed.
“Sounds fun,” I said and plastered a very fake smile on my face. He
opened the door to my room and looked around quickly before stepping back
out.
“I’ll be here just after dawn. We start with a run.” He smiled and went to
close the door. I blanched.
“I can’t run,” I stated matter-of-factly.
“Everyone can run,” he said as an answer. “I’ll be out here for a couple
more minutes until the other guard gets here. Get some sleep.” With that, the
door clicked shut.
I exhaled and tried to steady my heartbeat that flared at the anxiety I felt
about tomorrow morning. I was going to look like an absolute idiot. I had
never been able to run long distances without stitches in my side, my legs
burning like they were going to fall off, or my lungs giving up. And he
expected me to go on a run with him? A freaking guard? I took my cloak off
and hung it on the wall and took a look at myself in the mirror, cringing at the
bruise on my forehead. It did look like it was healing much more quickly
with what the healer gave me than it would have if I had been back home.
I unzipped the dress, and it fell to the floor around my ankles. I took a
deep breath and went searching in the bathing chamber for something more
comfortable. I found some loose-fitting pants and a matching shirt that
looked like pajamas. I slipped them on and washed my face, being very
gentle around my temple. I made my way back out into the room, relaxing at
the familiar crackle of the fire, and threw my dress over one of the chairs. If
Asher was supplying all the clothes, I didn’t really care to be gentle with
them. There was a cup of chamomile tea next to the bed, still steaming with
heat, which was the only sign that Mavka had been here since I had gone to
dinner.
Curling up in the bed, I drank the entire cup of tea, even though it scalded
my throat the entire way down. I needed all the help I could get for sleep. I
sat the cup back down and noticed the fabric hanging from the canopy of the
bed on every side. I pulled on one side of it, and it skirted across to the other
corner. I pulled every side shut, blocking out every inch of that room and
every inch of the firelight. I sighed and fully lay back into the feather-stuffed
pillows. The scent of lavender and the warmth in my belly from the tea had
me falling hard into sleep.
I dreamed of my mom telling me stories. And of a tall figure covered in
shadows, hovering over me as I slept.
 CHAPTER FIVE

Cold was an understatement. It was absolutely frigid outside. Mavka had me

bundled up in about five different layers of fighting leathers and wool to keep
me warm. I had durable but lightweight boots on, laced all the way up over
thick socks, and gloves to keep my fingers from falling off. I had my hair
collected in a heavy ponytail at the top of my head and a thick headband
around my ears. Each step through the snow was muffled. Beside me, Emric
was much less bundled up than I was. He turned and caught me looking.
“I’m partially used to the cold, and my Fae blood also keeps me warmer
than your human blood does. I’m hoping the Fae side of you kicks in sooner
rather than later.” Yeah, me too, if it’ll keep me warm, I thought.
“Is there nowhere in that massive castle that we could’ve trained
instead?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“We will go back inside after the run, I promise.” He smiled and led the
way down over a small hill towards a massive lake. It was surrounded on
most sides by trees blanketed in snow. The lake itself hadn’t completely
frozen over yet, only patches of ice and snow here and there. Otherwise, it
was a beautiful deep teal and stretched for miles.
“We—we aren’t running around that, are we?”
“Stretch, please,” he said through a smile. He began moving this way and
that, stretching his legs and arms.
“I can’t run around that, Emric.” I was still standing there, stiff as a
board.
“Stretch, Alys. We don’t have to run the entire time, but we need to get
your stamina up. Ash also thinks the harder I push you, the quicker your Fae
blood will take over. And trust me, you need that to happen.”
I started mimicking his stretches, if only to just get my mind off this
daunting task in front of me. I knew I was being dramatic, but I was never a
runner, and my anxiety didn’t really let me be nonchalant about something
new.
“Do you measure in miles here? How many miles is that?”
“We aren’t cavemen, Alys,” he laughed. “It’s about five miles all the way
around it.”
“And how fast could you run it if I weren’t around to slow you down?”
He thought about it for a moment, the dark strands of his hair blowing
around his face. “Twenty minutes, maybe? If I had to get to the other side,
though, running wouldn’t be my first choice.” I made a face.
“What would be?”
Suddenly, gigantic wings erupted from his back, the wind from them
forcing me to take a few steps back.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. They were enormous and made him tower over
me more than he originally had. Both wings started out as a deep grey at his
shoulders and faded out into a bright white that blended in with the snow
around us. “Where the hell were you hiding those?” The words came out in
more of a squeak than I was proud to admit. That same shit-eating grin that I
had seen Asher wear so often was now on his face.
“I can magick them away whenever I want. All my clothes have slits in
them over my shoulder blades so they can come out whenever I need them.”
“They’re beautiful,” I said and reached out to touch their feathers. They
looked like the softest silk. He stepped back, and they folded back in and
away. Magicked out of sight.
“Thank you, but touching a Fae’s wings is very”—his violet eyes flashed
—“intimate.”
I felt my cheeks flush with heat. “I’m sorry,” I said, bringing my hand to
my mouth.
“It’s okay,” he said through a laugh. “I just don’t think we’re on that level
yet.” He winked, and I flipped him off. He laughed harder. “Ash wasn’t
kidding about your attitude.” He slapped me on the shoulder. “Let’s go, Alys.
Let’s get this over with.”
And with that, he was off, loping at a much slower speed than I knew he
could go. I started after him, not enjoying the feel of the icy-cold air filling
my lungs with each breath. Within minutes, my chest was burning, and I just
knew my legs were going to cramp up and fall off at any moment. I was
desperate for him to not hear my labored breathing, but I knew there was no
fighting it. I was sure Mavka, wherever she was in the castle, could probably
hear me drag each breath in harder than the last.
“If you’re getting a stitch in your side,” he said, sounding not out of
breath at all, “breathe out for as long as you can before you take another
breath in. That should help.” I could feel my ponytail slapping the back of my
neck. The layers that I was thankful for earlier were now going to smother
me. I was going to literally sweat to death. Trickles of it rolled down my
spine. I peeled my gloves off and shoved them into my coat pockets.
“Can you…magick away…some layers?” I asked between breaths.
“How many layers?” He wagged his dark eyebrows.
“If I wasn’t so out of breath, I would punch you.” He turned around and
started jogging backwards. “Show-off!” He smiled and snapped his fingers.
And just like the night before when Asher had made food appear out of
nowhere, Emric had made a couple of layers disappear. The icy air made the
sweat on my skin feel like it was freezing in place, but at least I was cooler
now. “I need a minute,” I said, slowing to a walk.
“We’re halfway through—I think you should just keep going. We need to
push your body, Alys.” He jogged circles around me as I stopped and bent
over, hands on my knees, heaving gulps of air into my lungs.
“Fuck off, Emric. I’m not a full Faery. I’m a human, with a barely healed
gash on her face and a body that is very much not used to physical exertion.”
He studied me for a minute, trying to see how serious I was. He must’ve
decided not very.
“Okay, Wheezy, you’ve had a minute,” he said, giving my ponytail a tug.
I whipped around on him, but he was already running again. “If you can
catch me, you can punch me. How about that for incentive?” he yelled back
at me. I took off after him, pushing through the fire in my legs and lungs. I
was determined to catch him. One thing I knew for sure: when I did reach
him, and I did punch him, I would be imagining it was Asher’s smug face my
fist was making contact with.
I did not catch him. And when we got back and he took me to a big open
room on the first level of the castle, he proceeded to kick my ass. I was
assigned hundreds of crunches, lunges, multiple types of upper-body
workouts, and even some boxing. My legs were pudding, and my arms were
heavier than my entire body, so every punch I threw probably hit as hard as
falling paper.
My hair had almost completely fallen out around my face, and it clung to
my forehead, my cheeks, and my neck. I felt disgusting. I could not imagine
how I must smell. When Emric told me we were done for the day, I fell down
on the floor in pure exhaustion and relief that it was over.
“Humans are so dramatic,” he said, looking down at me.
“Shut up, Emric, and just sit down here for a minute before making me
walk a mile to my room.” He sat down next to me and took a drink of water. I
stared up at the ornate ceiling and followed the gold swirls in the molding.
“My friend Ashley did this to my head.” I pointed at the cut on my forehead
that was almost healed thanks to that little tin of magick. “I’m not sure why
she would’ve done that? Could Asher have forced her?”
“I don’t know if that’s a conversation for us to have. Ash would probably
prefer to answer your questions.”
I sat up and looked at him. “I would have a hard time believing anything
your High Lord says anyway. So why don’t you just tell me?” I took a drink
of my own water, and he rolled his eyes, resigned that I probably wasn’t
going to give up on it.
“Most High Fae have the ability to glamour humans. There was no other
way to get you out of there without causing suspicion.” He watched me from
the corner of his eye. “I’m sure he used a lot of glamour that night on a lot of
people to get you out safely.”
“Safely,” I snorted. “Minus my head being thrown full force into a mirror
and then a hard-ass sink. Minus the bruises all over my arm from him
supposedly forgetting his strength. Minus the river water I unintentionally
swallowed and then vomited back up.” I mentally gagged at the memory.
“You people must have a very loose definition of safe.”
“You people?” he said, gripping his chest. “You wound me.” I kicked his
thigh as hard as I could, which was more of a tap. My muscles strained at the
effort. Tomorrow was really going to suck. “He got you here alive. I think
that’s safe enough.”
“He also has his own version of a microchip on my shoulder,” I said,
motioning to the dust. “I’m basically his dog.”
“You are far too important to be considered a dog, Alys.” He stood up
and offered me his hand, and I grabbed it. A jolt of emotion went through my
arm at the contact, flooding my mind with amusement and the all-too-familiar
taste of worry. I yanked my hand out of his and stood up on my own. I stared
down at his hand, still hovering there in midair. “You okay, Wheezy?”
I wiped my hands on my pants. That was the second time I felt emotions
that weren’t quite my own.
“Yeah,” I said and changed the subject, hoping he thought I was just
weird. “And why am I so important?”
“That one is definitely going to come from him.” He cut me off when he
saw my mouth open to protest again. “You won’t get this one out of me. You
can ask Ash tonight at dinner.”
My shoulders slumped at the thought of having to get in another dress
instead of just sleeping until tomorrow. “Do I have to dine with him every
single night?”
“I have a feeling, Alys, that the answer to that is yes.”
I groaned and followed him out of the training room and back up to my
own.

“Mav,” I groaned hours later, “I swear to whatever gods you believe in that I
will die if I have to get out of this bed.” I had already decided earlier after my
bath and clean clothes that I would beg like my life depended on it to stay in
bed until Emric dragged me out of them the next morning. Mavka tsk’d at me
as she went in search of another dress. “You can tell him that his stupid
training has literally killed me and that he doesn’t have to worry about
keeping me alive any longer.”
“I think this dark green will go beautifully with your eyes,” she said,
walking out of the bath chamber with a heavy-looking swathe of emerald
velvet. I peeked over my mountain of covers at it. With its long slim sleeves
and slits that would go up to either thigh, it was beautiful. “And I know
you’re hungry. You haven’t eaten since breakfast because you were, what
was it? ‘Literally too dead to eat’ when you came back with Emric?”
I was hungry. I sighed and got out of bed to let her dress me.
 “I heard the first day of training went…well,” Asher said as I walked into
the dining hall. I gave him a sarcastic smile before hanging my cloak up and
making my way over to him. He pulled out the same seat for me, the food
already on the table tonight. The shadows around his body moved more this
evening, restless and whirling around him like storm clouds. I half expected
to see lightning flashing through them.
“I learned some interesting things today.” I filled my own plate tonight.
“Did you?”
“Do you have wings like Emric?”
He gave a soft laugh. “I do have wings, yes. But they do not look like
Emric’s. Mine are much bigger,” he said with a wink.
I groaned at his massive male ego and asked, “Can I see them?”
“Oh, Alyssandra.” He leaned into the table and locked his eyes on mine, a
stormier shade of grey blue. Everything about him tonight seemed more tense
than the night before. “Let’s save that for later. I wouldn’t want to get you all
hot and bothered at the dinner table.”
I leaned back in my chair, rolled my eyes, and quickly changed the
subject. “I also learned that you used your glamour to convince Ashley to
throw my head into the mirror like a football.”
No hint of a smile on those lips then as he took a drink of his wine and
leaned back. Even the wine was dark to match the night around him. “Mm,
indeed I did. I didn’t think she’d resort to such harsh tactics, but then again,
my magick was spread very thin that night, so I probably wasn’t very clear. I
was glamouring an entire bar, I’ll have you know.”
“How does it work? And why not just use glamour on me to get me to
come peacefully? I think it would’ve saved you some grief.” I was shoveling
food in my mouth tonight, not really caring about any decorum I should
probably have in front of a High Lord. I was starving from the training this
morning. He watched each bite with rapt attention.
“In that instance, I had to do it from a distance so it wasn’t as strong as it
would have been one-on-one. But time was of the essence. So I reached my
magic out, just like I did with a bit of my dust with you. I reached out and
told them all to think you were drunk, so drunk that someone had to carry
you out. I glamoured away the blood. And all I asked Ashley to do was
incapacitate you a little. I think Ashley has some underlying anger issues.”
He took a few bites as I processed.
“But I assure you, the excuse she gave to your friends will be a good one.
I was able to glamour her directly in the bathroom. I also didn’t glamour you
because I wasn’t sure how well it would work with your Fae blood. And I
didn’t want you to be following me like a blind puppy. I figured it would be
easier to experience it all happening instead of just closing your eyes in a bar
and then opening them in a foreign place with no idea how you got there.”
I mulled that over and reluctantly agreed with him. I groaned inwardly. I
did not like agreeing with him. “And what excuse did Ashley give? Are you
sure they’re all going to blindly believe her? They’re like my family, and if
one of them just disappeared, I would have questions.”
“I didn’t stick around to find out. I know you’re thinking that your
precious Thomas will be worried and wondering where you are. That boy has
a lot less going on”—he tapped his temple—“than you so wildly wanted to
believe he did. He’s weak, and her excuse will suffice.”
My chest felt tight at the harshness in his words. I didn’t even realize until
he said it that I was, in fact, thinking of Tom. My stupid crush in the grand
scheme of things now I guess would seem trivial to someone like Asher.
“I was trying to get you out of there quickly, Alyssandra.” He paused and
took another long drink. “Quickly enough that Aoife wouldn’t be a problem,”
he said under his breath.
“Why would Aoife be a problem?” My fork clanged on the plate at the
mention of her name.
“Because Aoife is Fae and was sent to watch you.” He drank the rest of
his wine in one mouthful. “And she was there to eventually take you.”
 CHAPTER SIX

“You’re lying.”
“I have not and will not lie to you, little duck. I need you to trust me.” He
watched me closely. I twirled my hair nervously in between my fingers, tying
little knots and then loosening them.
“I think I would’ve noticed her ears. And she doesn’t have any Faery
dust. She doesn’t look any different.” I thought back to all the times I had
been with Aoife. We had so many classes together, nights out, and coffee
dates. Had I ever seen her with her hair up? There was no way she had skin
like Asher’s, luminescent and silver. But…had she seen Asher’s dust when
she tried to brush whatever it was she could see off my neck? Was that what
she was staring at in the break room at work?
“She is High Fae. She has more than enough magick to hide the less-
human things about her. Also, she isn’t High Fae of the Night Court, so she
wouldn’t have the dusting as I do. She’s from Autumn, and they have
blackened fingertips, like they’ve been dipped in soot, from their ability to
harness the power of fire. She would be able to hide that from you—it really
doesn’t take that much out of us to hide those types of things.” He waved a
hand in front of himself, and the dusting that normally covered his skin
disappeared. His hands pushed his obsidian hair back from his face, and his
ears were rounded like mine.
“So, let’s say I believe you. You’re saying she was sent there to watch me
and eventually take me. Take me back here? Which means that instead of
being dragged here unwillingly and thrown into a place full of people I don’t
know, I could’ve gone with Aoife in a much less jarring way. I could’ve
stayed with Aoife, someone who actually likes me. An actual friend. But
because you stole me, I’m stuck here with you.”
His eyes narrowed as he relaxed, and his dust settled back over his skin,
barely shimmering but definitely there. The shadows around him stretched to
cover his entire body, covering him in a storm cloud of temper. I finished all
the food on my plate while he watched me, taking deep breaths and willing
his shadows back into place. They didn’t scare me as much as they had
previously, I realized. I leaned back in my chair, full and a little chuffed at
how upset I had made him.
“She will figure out that you took me, Asher. She will come for me.”
“I would very much like to see her try.” The power that seeped into the
air was almost suffocating. “You should believe me when I say, Alyssandra,
that Aoife was not and is not your friend. She was sent there to eventually
bring you into this world, and what would have met you at her father’s court
would not have been safety. The High Lord of the Autumn Court is cruel and
would not have treated you as nicely and as fairly as I am treating you.”
I scoffed, and he stood quickly, his chair flying several feet back and
toppling over. He loomed over me, his shadows snuffing out the candles on
the table, leaving only the light from the fireplaces. I kept my breathing easy.
I refused to let him taste my fear.
“Your shadow work was intimidating the first couple of times, Your
Highness,” I ground out and stood up to close some of the height difference
between us. He still towered over me, but I held my ground, our noses so
close they almost touched. “But now I recognize them for what they are—
mere parlor tricks.”
“Is that so, little duck?” he asked as his shadows crept closer, that scent of
jasmine and cedar heady in the air as they came closer. My breath hitched as
they touched my cheeks and then wound their way through my hair.
Fuck.
They were cold but soft as feathers. I breathed in for the first time with
them being so close, and they brought fresh mountain air into my lungs. They
spread down my neck and over my shoulders. Before I knew it, I had closed
my eyes and leaned into them. They were the cold side of a pillow in the dead
heat of summer, comforting and refreshing.
And then gone.
I stumbled back a step and met his gaze. He cleared his throat and
adjusted the front of his suit as the night crept back around his entire body
like an onyx halo.
“You’ve finished your dinner. I have something to take care of tonight, so
you are dismissed. Go rest.” With that he left, walking through the door to the
right of one of the fireplaces, leaving me alone.
I scoffed at the dismissal and gathered the heavy velvet in my hands,
running over to where he’d disappeared through the door. Behind it was a
small servants’ stairway, dimly lit with torches and steps that were carved out
of stone. I could just barely hear his footsteps down below. I took off after
him.
“You know,” I said as I grabbed a torch off the wall. “I’m not so easily
dismissed.” My words echoed and vibrated off the stone. The stairs twisted
and twisted down around sharp corners. Holding the swaths of my dress in
one hand and the torch in the other, I focused on the steps, praying I didn’t
fall. I was never known to be graceful. Every few corners I made, there was a
landing with a door that led off somewhere else in the castle. “Asher, hold
on!” I yelled as I rounded another corner.
And as soon as I had, I ran directly into him face-first, one of my legs
sliding between his and down a couple of steps. My dress fell from my hand,
ready to catch myself from falling. It circled in the air and connected with his
bicep. His free hand wrapped around the wrist of my arm holding the fire. He
held my hand up and away from his face, keeping the fire far enough away
from anything that could be set alight. Because my left foot had slid down to
the step behind him, my entire body was pressed against his. He was still as
stone, and my nose still hurt from the harsh contact it made with his chest.
His arm I was holding slid slowly around my back.
“If this is what you wanted, little duck, you only had to ask.” His voice
was gravel and heat, and my breath stopped at the sound of it. Only for a
moment before I caught myself, but long enough for him to catch it. It had
been too long since anyone had spoken to me like that. With his arm still
around my back, he smirked like he could read my mind and then lifted me
up so that I stood on a single step in front of him and released my hand. “You
won’t need this,” he said, taking the fire from my hand and hanging it on an
empty perch behind him. “My magic lights this castle anywhere anyone
needs it.”
“Oh,” I said, adjusting my dress around my legs where the slits on my
thighs had wound up closer to my hips. “Well, I came down here because you
don’t get to just dismiss me like that. We were having a discussion.” I
crossed my arms and stared at him. With me a few steps above him, he was
still taller than me, but not by much, and I could meet his cold glare.
“I am High Lord, princess. I can dismiss who I want, when I want.” He
gave me a full smile, the firelight glinting off his sharpened fangs, and turned
on his heel, descending once again. I lifted my dress again and followed him
down.
“Where do these go? We’ve been going down them for a long time. Do
they go underground?”
He sighed. “No. If you continue all the way down, as I am doing, they
open up to the ground level.”
“Is that where your room is?”
At that, he laughed. “No, I am on the same level as you. I can show you
later if you wish.” He glanced back and winked at me. I huffed and continued
to follow. After a couple more minutes, the stairs ended into a dark wooden
door. He turned the black handle, and it opened out into a wide hallway that
lit up as we entered. The floor was covered in a midnight-blue carpet that was
so soft I could feel myself sink into it with each step. The walls were covered
in grand paintings of Fae in crowns and suits and gowns, each one’s skin
wrapped in a soft silver-blue sheen.
“Is this your family?” I asked, stepping up to a painting of a female that
caught my eye. Her hair was as white as snow and fell in waves to her waist
where the image stopped. Atop her head was a crown of stars and gemstones.
Her eyes were the color of lavender and seemed to glow while following me
where I moved. The smirk on her mouth wasn’t playful like Asher’s. There
was something awful behind it. Like she was thinking of eating me alive. I
shivered.
“They’re very distant relatives and past rulers of the Night Court.” That
must’ve been all he wanted to divulge because he was off again, striding
down the hallway, wall sconces lighting his way as he went. I jogged to catch
up to him, my legs shaking with exhaustion from the day as I caught up. “Can
I help you with something, Alyssandra? Despite what you might think of me,
I do actually have business to attend.”
“I told you, we were discussing things, and you just decided you were
done talking. But I wasn’t.” I fell into step next to him as we rounded a
corner. At the end of this hallway was a rounded door, locked with heavy
steel in several places.
 “I didn’t leave because I was done talking. I left because you’re tired,
your body is literally about to give out on you, and I have things to do that
cannot wait.” He placed a hand on my shoulder as we approached the door
and stopped. “Emric is on his way down. Can you just stand here for two
minutes and stay out of trouble? Just go to your room and go to sleep. You’ll
be training harder tomorrow. You need your rest.” He eyed the dusting on my
shoulder and neck, a cloud of his own dust marking me, tracking me. I rolled
my shoulders, and his hand fell.
“What’s so important?”
“You are filled to the brim with questions,” he said through a sigh and
rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. His eyes were red and tired when
he stopped his assault and instead raked his fingers through the waves of his
hair a few times. “If I explain to you what I am doing tonight, do you promise
me that you will go back upstairs with Emric and go to sleep?”
I folded my arms across my chest but nodded in agreement.
“Fine,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the door. “Tonight
is Mayassar. Every month, on the new moon, the High Lord of the Night
Court is responsible for making sure Mayassar is watched over and
completed without issue.”
“And Mayassar is?” I prodded.
“Mayassar is when the evil souls of our world cross over into the After. I
am responsible for making sure that every soul makes it over and doesn’t
cause…problems.”
I blanched. “You have to escort ghosts into the afterlife? Like a Faery
version of Hades?”
He rolled his eyes at my comparison. “They are not ghosts, and there is
no afterlife for the souls crossing over on Mayassar. They will cross into the
After and become nothing. They simply cease to exist.”
There was a pit in my stomach, and it grew cold and hot at the same time.
The entire plate of food I ate out of spite earlier was suddenly sitting in there,
heavy as bricks.
“Do they fight you? Do they try to escape?”
“Some do. Not often, but they do sometimes get desperate and try to
escape. It normally only happens with the souls who were exceptionally
strong when they were living, mentally and/or psychically.” Gooseflesh rose
over my arms, and I felt a creeping sensation make its way over the dust on
my shoulder. “It’s far enough away that you don’t have to worry about
them,” he said, eyeing me like I might pass out. “I’m also very good at what I
do.” He flexed his crossed arms and stood straighter off the door now.
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Well, thank goodness there’s a big strong
male around to save me from the wandering souls. Speaking of, where is
Emric?” I brushed some nonexistent dust off the front of my dress. “I’ll need
to make sure I keep him standing guard outside my room all night just in
case.” I met his eyes and smiled at his defeated face.
“Stay here and try not to get into any trouble.” The locks moved and
opened with his magick. The shadows around him came to life in the icy
wind as he opened the door and stepped out. I took a couple of steps back
from the door, trying to shield myself from the cold. He gave me one last
glance. “Good night, Alys,” he said, and the door slammed shut behind him
as he walked out into the snow.
“Someone went on a field trip.” I jumped at the sound of Emric behind
me. I shrugged and watched the locks all click and slide back into place.
“Is Mayassar dangerous?” I made my way back down the corridor with
Emric in tow. I could almost hear him hesitate.
“He told you about that?”
I nodded. “Is it?”
His sigh of impatience was almost identical to Asher’s. We took a
different route and began climbing staircases clearly made for guests and not
servants. My thighs burned with every step.
“Mayassar isn’t easy. And not just in the sense that it’s hard to control the
souls that are passing. It’s hard to have to watch them disappear into nothing.
I honestly don’t know how Ash does it every month. Making sure each soul
crosses over only to become nothing but part of the ether.” He took a deep
breath. “But it’s part of his court, and he won’t let anyone else take on the
job. And there’s a balance. Noori, which happens every full moon, is the
opposite of Mayassar. On that night, he escorts souls into Summerland. The
souls who are judged as living lives worthy of Summerland pass over under
the light of Nyxa’s full moon and live forever in constant summer.”
“Who is Nyxa?” I asked through a stifled yawn.
“She is the Goddess of Night, our court’s patron Goddess.”
I pushed my hair out of my face and over my shoulders, taking it all in. I
couldn’t imagine having to carry the weight of that around on my soul.
Forcing souls, even if they weren’t worthy of their Summerland, into the
After only to watch them dissolve into nothing. Their lives may already have
ended, but Asher had to end them completely and forever. He was the final,
striking blow. I wasn’t sure if guiding any number of souls into the
Summerland could ever take away the weight of the others.
“Don’t worry yourself with it,” Emric said as he turned down the hallway
that held my room. “Ash has been doing this for a while now. And every
High Lord and Lady that came before him did it as well. Each court has
responsibilities they would rather not have. But life isn’t always sunshine and
rainbows, Wheezy.” He elbowed me, and I gave a weak laugh at his
nickname for me. We reached my door, another guard standing next to it, and
I could hear Mavka behind it.
“Thanks for walking me back. Let me guess, see you at first light for
round two?”
“At your service,” he said with a bow and then walked off in the direction
we had come from.
“Hey,” I said to the guard next to my door as I twisted it open, but he
stared straight ahead. I stuck my tongue out at him and slipped inside. The
room was filled with warmth and the scent of hickory.
“Come on, then. Let’s get you in bed. I think you’re about to fall asleep
where you stand, child!”
For the first time, I didn’t fight her as she made quick work of getting the
dress off and my nightgown on. My eyes were heavy as I picked up the small
tin and rubbed some salve into my forehead. There was no more pain, and
when I looked in the mirror, only a yellowish bruise remained. It was almost
completely healed. I sat the tin back on the vanity and kicked my slippers off
as I crawled into bed. I barely registered Mavka closing the curtains of the
bed around me, sealing me in darkness, before I plunged headfirst into sleep.
 CHAPTER SEVEN

I woke up to yelling in the hallway. When I threw my eyes open, I was still
cloaked in darkness. My heartbeat hammered in my chest to the point where I
thought I was going to pass out. I couldn’t help but remember Asher’s
warning that people here would be out to get me, to kill me. I sat there,
breathing in and out of my nose, listening. A loud thump into my wall made
me jump up, throw the curtains back, and climb out of bed. My fire had
almost died down to coals, making it very difficult to see.
It must be late.
I grabbed the cloak from the wall and, as quietly as I could, unlatched my
door and peered out into the hall. There was no guard at my door, and that
made my stomach twist again. Something had to have happened for my door
to have been left unguarded. I stepped out into the hall and closed my door
behind me, wrapping the cloak around my bare legs as tightly as I could. I
heard voices to my left, and shadows danced across the walls around the
corner.
Clinging close to the wall, I padded down towards the voices in bare feet.
I tried to keep my breath calm so that I could hear if anyone was coming my
way, but all I could hear were muffled footsteps and urgent whispers. As
much as I dared, I poked my head around the corner. I spotted Emric, his
dark hair in tangles around his shoulders, and another guard I didn’t
recognize. They were standing outside an open door, Emric talking
animatedly with his hands.
“Go…the healer…blood…” were the only words that drifted down to me.
The other guard took a short bow and turned towards me. I ducked back and
pressed my entire body against the wall, heart in my throat, praying I could
blend in with the shadows. He walked out, and I watched him walk away
from me. I stared at his back until he was too far away to see and slowly
peeked out again. There was no sign of Emric, but the door was still wide
open, firelight pouring out of it.
Curiosity got the better of me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something
was very, very wrong. I got more confident when I realized I couldn’t hear
anyone talking, so I tiptoed down towards the open door. The cloak did very
little to keep the cold out with my bare legs and arms in the flimsy nightgown
Mavka had dressed me in earlier. It was no more than an insubstantial piece
of silk with thin straps and a hem that stopped midthigh. Gooseflesh raised
across my skin, from cold or fear, I didn’t quite know.
I shivered as I approached the door, the warmth of the fire pouring out
and drawing me closer. I looked into the doorway and saw Mavka wringing a
cloth into a large basin next to the sofa at the fireplace. The water was
streaming crimson over her small hands. The back of the couch faced me, but
I could see a leg draped over the arm and a massive wing folded over the
back. In the dim light of the room, its feathers looked inky as oil.
“Mav?” I whispered, taking a step into the room. Her head shot up to look
at me, her eyes wild and wide.
“Get out of here, girl. This is not a place for you.” She stood up, rag in
hand, and walked the couple of steps to the person lying on the couch. I had
never seen anyone severely injured before, but I had taken care of my mother
as her body had withered away into nothing, the cancer eating her up from
the inside. In those final months, I had bathed her, held her hair as she
vomited, and changed her diapers. If I could handle my mom in that much
pain, a stranger should be easy. And it wasn’t like I could’ve gone back to my
room and fallen asleep.
I slung the bright white cloak across the bed. I felt naked in the thin fabric
covering my body, but I didn’t dare get blood all over that pristine thing. I
tied my hair up in a knot on the top of my head with the strip of leather I kept
tied around my wrist for training. I made my way over to the couch and
watched Mavka lay the cloth on the Fae lying on the couch. When I looked
over the back of the couch, Asher lay there, a gash so deep across his chest I
could see the cartilage of his ribs.
“Oh, my,” I said and pressed the back of my hand to my mouth.
 “If you aren’t here to help, go back to bed. He doesn’t need anyone else
gawking at him.” I had no idea Mavka could be so stern, but then as I
watched her push fingers through his hair as a mother would, I could see the
worry in her eyes. The wrinkles at her eyes seemed more pronounced now,
filled with dread.
“No,” I said, pulling myself together. “Tell me what to do. I can help.”
She eyed me warily, still twisting her fingers through his hair. His eyes were
closed, and his eyebrows were knitted together in pain. He groaned with
almost every exhale, but he was clearly either passed out or so close to it he
couldn’t comprehend what was happening. “I took care of my mother for
months as she died. I can handle this.”
Without waiting for a response, I walked around to the bowl of water,
muddied with his blood, careful not to touch his wing. I took it from the floor
and carried it to the bathing chamber. His room was set up almost identical to
mine so everything was easy to find. I dumped the dirty water into the bath
and watched the water, thick and red, swirl down the drain. I let the water run
for a minute to let it get scalding hot. While the bowl filled back up, I got
several new cloths from the drawers next to the door and threw them over my
shoulder. I walked back into his bedroom and made my way across the floor,
careful not to spill the steaming water all over myself.
“This needs stitches, Mavka,” I said as I knelt next to them both. His head
lolled to the side to face me, like he could hear my voice, but his eyes never
opened. I swallowed thickly and looked at Mavka. “Where’s the healer?”
“I’m not sure. Emric is flying to get him now.”
“He doesn’t live on the grounds?” I slowly peeled the filthy cloth Mavka
had laid across the cut in his chest and handed it to her.
“No,” she said, standing up with some effort. “He lives in town. I would
hope he would be here within the half hour.” She dropped the bloodied cloth
into a basket filled with them under the window.
“Okay,” I said, wringing a new cloth in the clean water I had brought
over. I laid it as gently as I could across his chest. He hissed through his
teeth, and his eyes opened just long enough to make contact with mine. They
closed, and he rolled away from me.
“Get out,” he mumbled.
“What did he say?” Mavka asked and quickly came back to where his
head rested on a pillow. Her hands wiped his hair back off his sweaty
forehead.
 “I couldn’t understand him,” I lied. He was such an arrogant ass, even
when he could be dying. “We need something to stop the bleeding. He’s
going to bleed out.” I chewed on my lip. “Aren’t Fae supposed to have, like,
super-amazing healing abilities or something?”
“We do, especially High Fae like him. But this wound was inflicted by
one of the souls he was escorting into the After. They are different wounds,
and we can’t heal from them as easily.”
I nodded and turned back to Asher. The cloth I had placed on his chest
had already turned completely red. I took it off and replaced it with a clean
one.
“Mav.” She looked at me. “Can you go get the tin the healer gave me for
my face? I know it’s not going to be enough, but it may at least help the pain.
Hopefully it will kick-start the healing process.” She nodded and was out of
the room quickly.
“I thought you said you were good at what you do,” I said under my
breath as I swapped out his cloth again. His chest rose and fell, slow and
ragged. The tattoos I saw on him the night he took me extended down across
his chest and covered his hard stomach, disappearing into his pants. My face
warmed at where my eyes ended up, and I forced them back to the tattoos
that swirled around his arms, stopping promptly at his wrists.
“See something…you like?” I jumped and found him looking at me. “I
thought I told you to leave.” He closed his eyes, and I could see him
struggling to keep his breathing calm.
“I’m helping. If you hadn’t noticed, you could use as much help as
possible.” I shifted my knees and discovered they were sticky with his blood.
I pushed the stray hairs out of my face with a shaky hand. Okay, this is really
bad. “Mav has gone to get the salve the healer gave me for my face. If
anything, it may help with the pain.” His arm fell off the couch as he passed
out again, and his calloused fingers brushed my bare thigh. I looked at them
for a second before lifting his arm back onto the couch. I was going to bury
the feeling I got at that touch very, very deep.
“Got it,” Mavka said as a way of announcing her presence back in the
room.
“Thank you,” I said, standing up and peeling away the cloth. “If he wakes
up while I’m doing this, it won’t be good, Mav. It’s going to hurt. I need you
to try and keep him calm.” She nodded grimly and placed her hands on his
shoulders. The thought of her tiny self holding Asher down almost made me
laugh. “Okay,” I said, pushing down the hysterical gurgle that threatened at
my throat. “Let’s get this over with. I’m going to do it as quickly as
possible.” She nodded again.
I opened the tin and swiped all the contents that were left onto my fingers.
I hovered over the gash, taking a few deep breaths to steady myself before I
had to run my hand over his torn skin and exposed bones. I counted down
from three in my head.
And then so many things happened very quickly. I swiped my fingers
over the length of the opening in his chest. His eyes flew open, arms flying
up to push Mavka off. He was too fast; she didn’t stand a chance. She went
soaring backwards at the force of his attack.
Then, in the time it took me to blink, he was on me. He had flown,
literally flown, off the couch and threw me onto the ground. He roared in
pain. One of his hands slammed down on the floor, and the other grabbed my
throat as my head bounced against the floorboards with a sickening crack.
Stars flew into my vision as I tried to blink them away. I swallowed against
his hand at the vomit threatening to come up. The wind was knocked out of
me, and I couldn’t breathe through his grip. I gasped and groaned. I choked,
trying to take in as much air as possible. I could feel his blood, warm and
syrupy, dripping onto my chest and pooling in the hollow of my neck.
“Ash-Asher,” I whispered through a hoarse throat. I blinked the stars
away a few times, but I still couldn’t see anything. It was so dark. All I could
make out was the outline of his head. His wings, I suddenly realized. His
wings were spread out, cocooning us on the floor. “It’s Alys! It’s me, it’s
Alys,” I whispered. “Get the fuck off me.”
“Shit,” he swore. “I told you to get out,” he said, releasing my throat and
kneeling off me, his wings tucking themselves neatly behind his back.
“What the hell happened here?” Emric practically yelled as he stormed
into the room. I heard Asher slump onto the floor, leaning against the couch.
Emric knelt next to me, but remembering what happened last time he touched
me, I held an arm out to him.
“Don’t,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’m fine.” I looked to the door and
saw the healer standing there awkwardly, looking from me to Asher. “Help
him!” I shouted and motioned towards Asher. I coughed, my throat feeling
raw from Asher’s assault. The healer made his way over to him and helped
him sit back on the couch.
Asher’s skin had gone deathly pale. The exertion from the sudden
movement had caused him to lose a lot of blood. I was absolutely soaked in
it, I realized as I looked down at myself. I was also indecent. My nightgown
was all the way up to my hips, my underthings completely on display. I felt
my cheeks burn as I quickly yanked it back down. Emric cleared his throat
and stood up. Asher’s blood had completely covered my chest, shoulders, and
arms. Emric held his hand out to me to help me stand, but I shook my head.
Pain seared behind my eyes.
“I’m going to sit here for a minute. If I stand up too quickly, I’m going to
pass out.”
Asher groaned, and Emric’s attention latched onto him. I tentatively
brushed the back of my skull with my fingers. There was already a lump
forming. If I remembered correctly, it was always better to have a lump
because it meant it was pushing out and not in? Or was that some old wives’
tale I had heard?
Stupid, fragile human body.
“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Mavka was saying to the healer. I looked up at
her, and she seemed unharmed. For a moment I wished my Fae blood had
already kicked in. It didn’t seem safe to be so breakable around all these Fae.
The healer dug through his bag, pulling out herbs and oils. He picked up one
of the clean cloths I had left lying next to the couch. He layered and
smoothed them out across it and then gently laid it across Asher’s wound.
“This poultice will help the healing process. The wound should be closed
by the morning, but he’s going to be sore for a few days.”
“We’ve got a room nearby that you can stay in for the night.” The healer
gathered his things and stood to follow Emric. He bent down to my level and
gently checked the back of my head. He nodded and then handed me a small
vial of clear liquid.
“This is going to help your headache and help you sleep. You seem to be
going through a lot these past few days,” he said and smiled. The smile
reached his bright green eyes, and I found myself smiling back. “How about
you rest for a couple of days and let your body heal?” I nodded, and he
followed Emric out of the room. I slowly stood, using the wall to keep my
balance.
“I told you to fucking leave, Alyssandra,” Asher said, already sounding
stronger. I turned my attention to him and saw Mavka’s eyes widen.
“I’ll take her back to her room and—”
“I’m not done, Mav,” he said, cutting her off. I stared into his eyes, black
in the dim light of the room. “You—”
I stopped him. “Yes, well, I am, Your Highness.” His title dripped off my
tongue with malice. “I was just trying to help you as you were lying there,
chest ripped open by Gods knows what! You are seriously the most
ungrateful person I have ever met!” I swiped at the hair that had fallen in my
face.
“I would’ve been fine, and I didn’t ask for your help.” He tried to sit up
but winced and slunk back down into the cushions. “Your injuries could’ve
been far worse than they are! You are human. I could literally crush your
bones to dust if I wanted. And look at you!” He looked me up and down.
What looked like disgust flashed across those dark eyes, and gooseflesh
raised across my legs as I remembered just how little of me was covered.
“You are covered in blood and barely clothed.” I crossed my arms as Mavka
made her way over to me, trying to escort me out of the room. He chided me
like a child, and suddenly, I didn’t feel much older than one.
“Good to know. Next time I won’t lift a finger to help you, even if it
means saving your life. I guess you can save yourself from now on.” I saw
him roll his eyes and lie back down, not up for any more of a fight tonight. I
turned on my heel, letting Mavka lead me out of the room, and flipped him
off over my shoulder.
“Oh, my cloak,” I said as we entered the hall.
“Maybe best we leave that for tomorrow,” she said, patting my shoulder.
“Wouldn’t want to ruin it.” I shivered against the cold but agreed and let her
lead me away and back into my room.
“Has he ever come back injured that badly from Mayassar?”
“Only once. His first time, he was young and distracted.” Her voice was
hushed like he could hear us. “It must have been an unspeakable soul to be
able to harm him that badly. But,” she said, a bit lighter as we made it back to
my room, “he will be fine. He will still be a bit sore tomorrow, but overall,
he’ll be fine.” It sounded like she was more trying to convince herself than
me.
I ran myself a bath while she stoked the fire and added some more wood.
By the time I emerged from the bathing chamber, no blood left in sight,
Mavka had the fire roaring and the bedsheets turned back. I sighed and
started to braid my wet hair to the side.
“He’s never been the easiest person,” she said, taking over, her thin
fingers moving deftly in and out of my hair. I scoffed. She turned me around
when she had finished and smiled at me. “He knows his strength. He knew
tonight he could have killed you. That’s why he was angry.” She patted my
cheek. Her weariness seeped into me through that touch. Her worry tasted
sour.
“I was just trying to help.” I climbed into bed, throwing back the vial the
healer had given me like a shot of apple vodka. The thought suddenly had my
heart hurting and missing home. I missed having people to confide in. I
missed Tom’s laugh. I missed Aoife’s hugs. I could have really used a smile
and a hug right then. The elixir went down much more smoothly than the
apple vodka. It tasted like honey and made my entire body go warm, my
headache barely there anymore. Tiredness hit me like a brick wall, and I
practically fell back into the pillows.
“He’ll come to his senses,” she said, tucking the covers up under my chin.
“Hopefully, anyway,” I heard her laugh. “Stubborn as a mule, that one. Get
some sleep.” The tone of her voice betrayed the love she had for him. She
spoke about him like my mom used to speak about me.
“I’m not holding my breath,” I said, slipping into sleep. I didn’t hear her
close the curtains or close the door on her way out. I fell asleep replaying
memories of my friends back home. The memories blurred into dreams, and
then the dreams twisted into nightmares. Aoife’s hugs turned into vise grips,
and her laughs turned into threats. Her ears were pointed, and her fingertips
were black as coal, snaking up onto her palms and wrists. Fire flew from her
hands and creeped its way around my neck, branding me the Autumn Court’s
property.
And then there was Asher, stepping in between us to save me and pushing
me away, hurdling me across the room in the process. This time when I heard
my skull crack, everything faded into black. And I had no more dreams.
 CHAPTER EIGHT

The next couple of weeks passed uneventfully. The healer, Kyrin, kept me in
bed for three days after that night with Asher. I was surprised at how worn-
out I actually was. My body had a lot of bruises and bumps to heal over those
few days, and I had slept through most of them. The handprint on my throat
took the longest to go away, but there was hardly any pain thanks to the
elixirs Kyrin had left me.
After those three days were up, Emric showed up at my door bright and
early every morning. We sank into a routine pretty easily after my body got
used to it the first week. I was able to run around the entire lake in one go, so
Emric had started pushing me to do it twice. I started lifting heavier weights,
so Emric added more. I actually learned how to throw punches, so Emric
started teaching me how to really fight. I was actually learning pretty quickly,
and my strength was building faster than I thought it would.
No matter how hard he pushed me or how exhausted I was, my Fae side
never kicked in. I was long past the point of frustration. If this was going to
be my new life, I needed to not be this fragile little human. I was too weak
and vulnerable against their strength. Emric had to hold back with every
move he made when we fought just to make sure I didn’t go soaring across
the room.
I told him so many times that I needed to be able to fight with him at his
full strength because every Fae I’d be up against had at least five times the
strength any human did. Every time I brought it up, he would just roll his
eyes and tell me he wasn’t going to risk breaking my bones.
 Some days, different Fae that Emric trusted would join us, giving him a
break from taking my hits. Ideon was Emric’s second-in-command and was
often stationed outside my room. Some days he would take over for Emric
and let me take jabs at him, and other days he would merely lie on the floor
and make snarky comments about my stances and moves.
One day while we were taking a water break, Ideon stood with his back to
me, talking to Emric. If Emric saw me creeping up behind Ideon in my bare
feet, desperate not to make a sound, he didn’t betray me. And the moment I
was close enough, I swung my leg out and kicked Ideon hard in the back of
the knee. He didn’t fall, but it knocked him off-balance and backwards long
enough for me to reach up and grab his tunic at the neck and pull him down.
He landed with a very satisfying thud, and Emric and I burst out in laughter.
“Touché, Wheezy,” Ideon had said. He’d adopted the nickname Emric
had given me as well, even though I was far past wheezing at physical
exertion anymore. He jumped back to his feet and gave me a hard pat on the
back. “Maybe we underestimated you. Care to have a fair fight?” He got into
position, and I tied my boots back on, ready to try again.
Every day I woke up at sunrise and trained with Emric until lunch. I took
to eating lunch in my room after a bath, and I went exploring in the
afternoons. A guard always followed me, making sure I wasn’t getting into
trouble or that trouble didn’t find me. I got a sense of where pretty much
everything was from the kitchens to the many, many guest rooms. There were
a few great rooms that were covered in dust. It must’ve been a long time
since anyone had danced in them.
Early on, I’d stumbled across a library that had to be filled with thousands
and thousands of books. The English major inside of me melted at the sight
when I first found it. There were rows and rows of them filling up the entire
room. The ceiling was curved, and the big windows arched to match it.
Most afternoons after I had made some laps around my new home, I
would make my way there to curl up in one of the deep cushioned chairs
against a window and read until the sun began to set. It smelled like old
leather and yellowed pages in there, and I wished I could bottle it. From the
library windows, I could see the lake slowly icing over more and more each
day, completely covered except a few spots in the middle where it was
deepest. The mountains in the background sat there collecting snow under the
soft pink-and-blue sky.
I hadn’t seen Asher a single time since the night he came back slashed to
hell. After a week of dining with Emric in that massive room, my temper
flared and boiled over. Asher had brought me here and then dumped into a
big empty castle with little to no answers and hardly anyone to keep my
company.
“Is there a reason I’m being ignored by him?”
Emric looked at me and smiled. “He’s away taking care of things. It’s not
all sunshine and rainbows here all the time,” he said, taking a long drink from
his wine. “There’s unrest in our world right now, and he’s trying to keep it at
bay.”
I sighed and went back to eating. I had come to learn over the past couple
of weeks that Emric was willing to answer a few questions here and there, but
he wasn’t an open book.
It was lonely. Yes, I had Emric, sometimes Ideon, spotted throughout the
day, and Mavka the few times she came to my room. And even though there
were plenty of Fae walking around all day every day, none of them dared
even look at me, let alone talk to me. I started to wonder if Asher even had
any friends. Did anyone have any friends? No one came to visit, and the only
Fae I could see around were either staff or guards.
I missed having someone to talk to. I missed going to school, to work,
and going out with everyone. I hadn’t shared a real connection or
conversation with anyone in over two weeks now. Granted, I had Emric to
talk to during our training. We joked around and laughed with each other, and
I felt friendly towards him, but I couldn’t really trust him. I had to assume
everything we talked about was promptly reported back to Asher.
Every day I woke up wondering if Aoife would come find me. Every day
that ended without her showing up was a disappointment, and that hope of
being taken home was quickly dwindling. Asher’s seed of doubt he planted in
my mind about her getting close to me for nefarious reasons was growing,
sprouting roots, and taking hold in my heart. I didn’t want to believe that my
best friend would have been spying and plotting behind my back. I just didn’t
think she had it in her. But obviously a lot of things I had believed weren’t
true. I believed my world was the only world, and that clearly wasn’t true,
seeing as I was now living in one ruled by magick.
I still hadn’t told anyone about the emotions I could sense from people
either. It terrified me when I had first arrived and Mavka touched me. I knew
those emotions weren’t mine, but I had written it off as exhaustion. But then
when Emric had touched me and I had that same feeling, I knew it was some
sort of dormant power awakening in me. Which was just the perfect talent for
an anxious person to have. My entire life, my mind had held me back from
doing so much, terrified of the thoughts of other people. Social anxiety, my
therapist had labeled it. Now I was able to feel others’ thoughts every time
they touched me.
I got more curious and a bit braver with each day I was here. I would let
Mavka touch my bare skin as she buttoned my clothes or handed me a cup of
tea. Each time her emotions would flood into me, tasting sweet and soothing.
I would make contact with Emric throughout our training more often than I
would at first. My fists would come into contact with his bare arms or face,
and I could feel his emotions pour over. His were always focused but on
edge, like he was just waiting for me to burst into fireworks.
“Where are you today?” Emric asked, bringing me out of my trance. He
threw a right hook, and I dodged it, not bothering to swing back. I took a step
back and held up my hands to signal I wanted a break.
“I’m getting frustrated,” I said, running my hands over my face. “I’m
getting stronger, better, but not inhumanly so. I’m still a very breakable
human.”
“You’re breakable, but you’re stronger. You’ve got muscles forming, and
you’re getting much better at hand-to-hand combat.”
“You’re fighting at my human level, not your Fae level. If you did, I’d be
dead in a few minutes.”
“Give yourself more credit. You’d survive at least five.” He smirked, and
I punched him in the arm.
“Hilarious,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Look, I have never been around a halfling that was stowed away in the
human world for so long. Normally halflings, or changelings, are brought
back here much sooner. Your magick is buried very, very deep. We just
haven’t kick-started it yet.”
I stared out one of the windows while I thought hard about telling him
about how I could feel other Fae’s emotions and thoughts. On this side of the
castle, I could see the front gardens leading out into wide-open fields. They
rolled gradually up and down until they ended in thick pine trees. The road
that normally split them down the center and led into the woods was covered
fully with snow, no tracks to be seen.
I knew whatever I told Emric would get back to Asher, but maybe it
should. Maybe if I told Emric, word would get back to Asher, and he would
come back and give me some answers. I had been living here for over a
fortnight with very little information as to what his stake in this whole thing
was and what my future was going to look like. Because there was no way I
was going to stay here for the rest of my life just training with Emric and
reading in the library. I sighed.
“I think that a little bit of my magick has actually made itself known,” I
said at last. I braved a look at him out of the corner of my eye, but his posture
hadn’t changed. He just looked at me with questions in those violet eyes.
“And what little bit would that be?” As if out of his control, his eyes
flicked to my still-rounded ears and then back to my face when he found
nothing had changed there.
“Okay, I probably should have told you both this when I first got here,
but I wasn’t sure what was actually going on until recently. I wanted to make
sure I knew what I was talking about before I brought it up.” He looked at me
and nodded, telling me to continue. I took a deep breath and flexed my
fingers a couple of times. “I can feel your emotions.” His eyebrows shot up
so fast I thought they might fly off his face. “Only when we touch,” I
amended. “And it’s not just you. It’s Mav, too. I guess anyone I touch,
really.”
Thinking back to the times Asher had touched me, I realized that last
statement wasn’t actually true. I had never been able to sense what Asher was
thinking or feeling. The only insight I got into his brain was his shadows and
biting words.
“That’s definitely new,” he said, crossing his arms. I caught some
wariness in those eyes. Like me keeping this from him had been an invasion
of privacy that he didn’t appreciate. I couldn’t blame him. When I found out
that Asher was able to sense my feelings and also keep track of me with his
stupid little cloud of dust, I wasn’t too keen on the idea.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” I jumped up and sat on the table that was
pushed against the wall and watched him think it through.
“So,” he said, turning to face me, “let me try and understand how this
actually works. Can you hear my thoughts when you touch me? Like actual
words?”
“No,” I said and picked up an apple I brought for a snack, taking a bite. “I
can’t hear what you’re thinking like stream of consciousness. When our skin
touches, it can’t be through clothes. I just feel how you feel. If it’s a really
strong emotion or if you’re really focused on feeling one thing, I can kind of
taste it.” I took another bite and pulled my legs underneath me as he sat down
next to me, not having to jump up.
“What have you felt from me?”
“I only really touch you when we are fighting, and so you’re really
focused and honed in on that. Not much room for emotion. Sometimes,
though, I can feel your hesitation, like you’re wondering if the next punch
you throw will be what sends me over the edge.” I swallowed another bite
and smiled. “One time I touched you while we were both laughing at
something Ideon had said, and your joy tasted light and fluffy like
marshmallows.”
He snorted softly at that and shook his head. “You know I have to tell
Asher this, right?”
I rolled my eyes but nodded. “Any insight as to where this magick comes
from or why I have it before you go running to His Highness?” He took the
apple out of my hand and bit into the other half.
“If you keep calling him that…” He trailed off and shook his head with a
smile. “I’m not sure where that gift comes from, Alys.”
He saw it as a gift? I couldn’t really think of it that way, yet anyway. I
didn’t see where it could help me in this world, still in a human body. If
anything, it probably made me more of a target.
“As far as I know, none of the High Fae from any court have that ability.
Do me a favor?” he said. I took my apple back and nodded. “Don’t tell
anyone else this, okay? Let me speak to Asher and see what his thoughts
are.”
I gave him a salute and jumped off the table. “Promise,” I said and
chucked the apple core into the bin. “We still have a bit left before lunch.” I
wiped my hands on my leggings and rolled my neck. “You going to come
fight me, or have I worn you out?”
He laughed and made his way towards where I was back in the middle of
the room. “Careful, Wheezy,” he said, cracking his knuckles, “or we’ll find
out just how long you can last against a Fae at full strength.”
I leaned back, hand on my chest, with an exaggerated bark of a laugh.
“Do you think His Highness would be pleased if you killed his little pet?” I
asked as I squared up.
“Hm, not sure.” He took a few steps towards me, and I backed up, still
watching and waiting for him to strike. He took a giant leap towards me and
laughed as I backed up quickly into the wall behind me. “Why don’t we ask
him?” By his tone, I deduced it was Asher behind me, not a wall. I sighed
deeply, still slightly pressed against him, refusing to give him a reaction. I
turned around slowly and looked up at him. His stupidly beautiful mouth was
cocked to the side, and his eyes were more blue today as humor danced in
them.
“Welcome home, Your Highness,” I said and dipped into a low curtsey.
The humor left his eyes, and that smirk dropped off his face. Defeated, he
clasped his hands behind his back and turned his attention to Emric behind
me.
“Lunch in my office, please, Emric. Thirty minutes.” I stood up out of my
curtsey and stepped out of his way as he walked past me.
“Hey!” I shouted after him and ran to keep up. I caught his bicep—his
very hard bicep. He stopped and looked down at where my hand, dwarfed
next to his arm, held on tightly. He looked back up at me.
“Yes?”
“I haven’t seen you in two weeks,” I stated lamely. I cursed myself for
letting his muscles distract me.
“Miss me?” A smile played on his lips, and his shadows swirled a little
closer to me.
“I missed getting answers. I tried to ask Emric questions, but I may as
well try to get water out of a rock.” I heard Emric snort at that.
“I will see you tonight at dinner, Alyssandra,” he said. I nodded, and my
eyes drifted past him. I knew his lunch with Emric would be filled with
updates about me, about my new gift. But I didn’t want our entire dinner to
be about that. I needed to get answers to questions that had been floating
around in my brain rent-free since he had left. I looked back to his face when
I realized he was still standing there staring at me. My eyes moved to where
his shadows had come closer now, rolling over my hand and up my forearm.
They didn’t feel as cold as they used to. Now they felt more like fresh air,
cool but not freezing.
And, oh my Gods, I was still latched onto his arm. I dropped my hand
like he was fire. His shadows scattered like I had startled them. His grin
widened to a full smile, showing off those alarmingly straight, white teeth,
fangs poking gently into his bottom lip.
“Wear something pretty.” He winked and walked out of our training
room. “I’ve missed the company of pretty women these past weeks.”
I rolled my eyes and turned back to Emric, who was trying very hard to
pretend he hadn’t been watching me embarrass myself. He had busied
himself with cleaning up the equipment around the room.
“You got this? I’m starving, and it sounds like you have places to be.”
“Sure thing,” he said. “Go get ready for your hot date tonight.” He
laughed deeply at that, finding himself very funny. I flipped him off and ran
out of the room, eager for the rest of the day to pass quickly. Not because I
was eager to see Asher, I told myself. I needed more information, and he was
the only way I was going to get any.
 CHAPTER NINE

I snuck out of my room before Mavka could come in and make me change. I
knew Asher had told me to wear something pretty to get a reaction out of me,
and by strutting into dinner in leggings, a sweater, and my training boots, I
was giving him just that. But I couldn’t really make myself care. I was never
one to do things people told me to do.
The smirk Asher gave me as I walked into the dining room was exactly
what I had expected, but it didn’t make me regret playing right into his hand.
He had once said he didn’t want me following him around like a lost puppy,
and I didn’t plan to.
“Good evening,” I said, sitting down in the chair to his right.
“Mm, indeed it is,” he said, smiling into his drink.
The silence that stretched between us as we ate was awkward. The only
noise in the room was the crackling of the fireplaces and my own chewing I
could hear in my head. I realized as I sat there that I had expected him to dive
right into conversation and ask me all sorts of questions about the updates he
had received from Emric. Especially the newest about how I was able to feel
other’s emotions. He didn’t, though. He sat there in silence, watching me take
bite after bite as he ate his own dinner. I realized he must want me to tell him
myself. But if I was honest, I wasn’t really sure where to start.
After we finished, I opened my mouth to speak, but he got there first.
“Let’s go for a walk.” I met his grey eyes and then looked outside. The
snow was coming down softly, and I could only guess how cold it was out
there. I loved the cold and the snow. I thought it was beautiful. But I didn’t
like freezing my ass off in it. He stood up, and I looked back to him. “Come
on,” he said through a smile. “I promise I won’t let you turn into a Popsicle.”
I grunted and stood up to follow him down the same stairs I followed him
down just a fortnight ago.
“Shouldn’t I layer up?” I asked, my words echoing slightly off the stone
walls around us.
“Oh, ye of such little faith.” He looked at me over his shoulder, not
missing a step, and winked. “My magick will keep you warm.”
“That better not be an innuendo,” I shot back. He threw his head back in a
burst of loud, throaty laughter. Up until then, I had never heard him really
give in to laughter. It was infectious. I found myself laughing quietly behind
him, unable to help it. We reached the main floor and walked through the
hallway of portraits before coming up on the curved door he had left through
on Mayassar.
“I’m sure you’re getting a little stir-crazy.” He let the sentence hang in the
air between us while the locks moved and shifted under his hand. I nodded
when he looked back at me, my arms crossed against my chest bracing for the
cold. It didn’t come, though. As the door swung open, the snow started to
drift inside and onto the thick carpet, but the cold never reached me. I was
encased in a bubble of magickal warmth.
I couldn’t help it—I smiled as I looked up at him and then slinked past
him and into the snow. Every time Emric and I had been outside, I had to
layer up until we had worked for long enough that my body heat could keep
me warm without them. But now I was outside in only one layer, and not a
very thick one at that, hearing the snow crunch beneath my boots, and yet the
cold didn’t touch me.
I looked up into the night sky, inky black like Asher’s wings but lit up
with a million stars. They were so bright they almost outshone the waxing
moon sitting there half-full among them. The stars danced and swirled, and
their light bled into the sky like a Van Gogh painting.
“Whoa,” I whispered in awe, I realized I had always been asleep in bed
by the time the sky looked like this. The training wore me out, and I made
sure I was asleep early after dinner to prepare myself for the next day. I
wasn’t sure if I would be able to sleep knowing it looked like this outside at
night. I opened my mouth as a reflex and caught a few snowflakes on my
tongue.
“This way,” he said, brushing past me, making sure he bumped my
shoulder to push me out of the way, and crunched ahead into the undisturbed
snow. I followed him while looking around and taking in how beautiful the
landscape looked in the falling snow and starlight. I loved the silence that
came with fresh snowfall. Even the trees didn’t seem to move underneath the
heavy blanket layering up on top of their branches. I breathed in the fresh
scent, and it reminded me of Asher’s shadows, biting cold at first but then
refreshing. It woke up my lungs and refreshed my face.
“Did Emric tell you about my little trick?” I asked into the silence.
“Little trick? I don’t think I would call it little or a trick.” He tucked his
hands into his pockets and slowed down to let me catch up. I shrugged as I
fell into step at his side.
“Supposedly Emric has never heard of a Fae being able to do that? But
you can feel my emotions through this,” I said, gesturing up at my neck. He
glanced down at it out of the corner of his eye and then trained his eyes back
ahead.
“That’s only because a part of me is inside of you.” His lips twitched
upward. “Now that was an innuendo,” he said, looking much too proud of
himself. I rolled my eyes.
“So, it’s true that no other Fae have been able to do this?”
“Not that I’ve heard of in the time I’ve been around.”
“And how long have you been around?”
He snorted. “Emric said you asked him how old he is.” We were both
silent for a moment. It was long enough that I thought he wasn’t going to tell
me. But before I could fill the silence with another question, he answered me.
“I’m four hundred and thirteen.”
“Will I live that long?”
“If we can manage to keep you alive and get your stubborn Fae side to
kick in, I don’t see why you wouldn’t.” We were walking across the slight
roll of a hill, and my calves started to strain with the effort. Maybe I wasn’t in
as good of shape as I thought.
“She isn’t stubborn,” I said, defending the Fae side of me. “She’s just
shy.” His eye roll was so evident that I felt him do it. A large barnlike
building was straight ahead, tucked into the edge of the woods. Before I
could ask what it was and if that’s where we were going, Asher chimed in.
“Call her whatever you like, but it doesn’t change the fact that without
her, you’re too fragile to be here. Nonetheless, I think your gift could be
helpful,” he said on a sigh. “But we aren’t going to use it until you’re fully
Fae. Keep this knowledge to yourself in the meantime. It doesn’t need to go
further than us three.”
I nodded again. “Where are we going?”
“The stables,” he said, nodding towards the barn in front of us. “I thought
we could get around more quickly and see more on horseback.”
“Horseback.” I swallowed and took hold of his forearm to slow him
down. Even his forearm felt strong beneath the grey wool sweater he had on.
“I don’t know how to…drive a horse,” I said for lack of a better word.
His throaty laughter was back, crinkling the skin around his eyes. I really
didn’t want to admit to myself that the butterflies I got were actually from his
laugh and not the horses.
“You drive a car and ride a horse, Alys.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled and kept following. We reached the barn, and he
pulled back the sliding door. Rows of horses stretched down the stables. He
walked up to a tan horse that had a splotch of white across her nose. “Isolde
here is a gentle beast. She’ll be good for your first ride.”
I watched him silently as he took her out and saddled her up, all the while
whispering sweet nothings at her and petting his hands down her long neck. It
was a new side of Asher I hadn’t seen. He could actually be described as
pleasant when he wasn’t yelling at me or baiting me with snarky remarks. His
shadows were relaxed, free flowing in the breeze as he stepped back out of
the stables.
“Isolde, this is Alyssandra,” he said, leading her up to me. “Even though I
know she can be quite taxing, I would appreciate your patience. You’ll be her
first experience.”
I glared at him and then turned a kind eye onto Isolde. Back in England,
an ex’s family had had horses on their property. So I had been around them
before, but not so close. I would feed them apples while they were locked in
their stables, but I had never been around them while they were free in the
fields. And I had definitely never ridden one of the beasts.
Honestly, the sheer size of them sort of freaked me out. I tried not to let
her smell it on me as I reached out slowly and stroked her white splotch with
the back of my fingers. Her breath came out in a foggy snort as she shook her
head. Asher motioned for me to come over next to him at the side of her.
“Left foot in here, and hands up here,” he said, putting me in position. He
hesitated and hovered his hands over my bare skin.
“You can touch me,” I said, a bit defensively. “I can’t feel your
emotions.”
“Interesting,” he said, making contact with my hands and holding them
onto the thing that looked like a gear shift at the front of the saddle. His
fingers were cool, but his grip was strong. “You’re going to use this to keep
your balance while you swing up and over.” He squeezed my hands for
emphasis. I nodded. “On the count of three, I’ll help you get up.” I blew out a
breath and nodded again. It really did suck to be short. The saddle on Isolde
seemed completely out of reach.
“One, two, three, up!” He grabbed me low on my hips on three, digging
in his fingers a little harder than necessary, I thought, and practically threw
me onto the saddle.
“Christ,” I breathed and shifted a bit on the saddle to get comfortable. My
legs felt a bit shaky at how far above the ground I was. How he thought I was
going to be able to ride her on my own was beyond me. I could see Isolde
running wild through the woods and me holding on for dear life.
“Scoot up a bit,” he said, patting my thigh and grabbing onto the saddle in
front of me. I shifted forward a bit, assuming I was sitting incorrectly. “Move
your foot.” He took my foot out, and before I could look back down to ask if
I was okay, he slid his foot in and jumped up on the saddle with me. His right
leg swung around, and he settled in at my back. I leaned forward, trying not
to let the entire length of his body press up against mine, but there was
nowhere for me to go.
“Excuse me!” I squeaked, swinging my gaze over my shoulder to stare
him down. He reached around me and grabbed the ropes of leather off
Isolde’s neck. His infuriating smirk was back as one of his arms snaked
around my stomach and pulled me back to where I was before he joined me. I
sucked in my stomach on instinct.
“You didn’t think I’d let you drive a horse on your own for your first ride,
did you?” I took a deep breath, trying to calm my temper that was so quick to
flare up around him. “I can see it now,” he said, letting go of my waist and
putting both hands on the reins. He nudged my other foot with his, and I took
it out so he could replace it with his. “Isolde would get tired of your smart
mouth and run off into the woods, leaving you clinging on for dear life.” I
rolled my eyes at how similar our thoughts were. “Or maybe she’d just throw
you off.” I felt his laugh rumble in his chest.
The saddle wasn’t too small for both of us to be on it, but it left not even a
handsbreadth between us. From my knees to my shoulders, we were pressed
tightly against each other. Even sitting, he was at least a whole head taller
than me. I turned back around to face forward as he gave Isolde a little nudge,
and we were off at a slow pace.
I quickly realized that to ride a horse comfortably, your body, and your
hips especially, have to move with the horse’s movements. As she walked on,
we had to shift side to side slightly with each step. And since we were so
close, our hips moved together in sync. My mind wandered a little too
quickly to improper thoughts, and I felt heat crawl its way over my chest and
up into my face, burning his dust on my neck. I knew he could probably feel
exactly what I was feeling, but for once he was merciful and didn’t comment
on it, leaving me to my own thoughts.
“I thought I’d take you to town.” I jumped. His words pulled me out of
my own mind. His breath was warm on my ear, and I tried to lean forward
slightly to give us some distance. “I can’t risk you being seen by anyone, but
there’s a beautiful view from up above all the cabins on the hillside and the
shops further down along the canals. There’s nothing like Astraea on a snowy
night.”
“As long as I can ask you questions, you can take me wherever you
want.” Isolde walked us over to the road that led from the castle and into the
forest.
“Imagine that,” he said much closer to my ear than I thought was
necessary. Suddenly he gave Isolde an order, and she picked up the pace,
causing me to bounce up and down awkwardly until I found her rhythm and
learned how to move with her instead of sitting stiff against her. It did,
however, mean Asher and I were moving against each other more quickly as
well. But we were going too fast for me to think about much more than
holding on. I was a bit breathless, but a slow smile formed across my lips.
It was exhilarating.
 CHAPTER TEN

Asking questions while going at that fast of a gallop was pretty much
impossible, so I held my tongue as we rode through the forest. By the time
Isolde slowed, I didn’t know if I was warm from his magick or if it was just
from him. His hard chest and stomach held snug against my back, and his
arms stayed wrapped around me the entire time. Slowing back to a lazy walk,
he guided her off the path and through the thicket of trees. A warm yellow
glow was just beyond the trees in a clearing.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for how beautiful it was. Directly down
below our tree line was what looked like a Swiss skiing village. There were
cabins dotted throughout the hill that wrapped around the entire valley. Down
lower, there were brightly lit shops and restaurants lining each side of the
canals, Fae walking in and out of them, their laughter swallowed by the
snow. A few boats were tied off, covered in the few inches of fresh snow that
had fallen in the past couple of hours.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“It’s definitely one of my favorites.” He swung his leg around and landed
softly on the ground below me. The cold air was sharp on my back at the loss
of him before his magick found me again. He quickly grabbed my waist and
pulled me off Isolde before I could object, and my feet struck the ground toe
to toe with him. I took a step back immediately and bumped into Isolde’s
side. She snorted and took a few steps away from me.
“Sorry,” I murmured to her. One side of Asher’s mouth tilted up as he
took her reins and tied her off to the nearest tree.
 “Good girl,” he said and gave her one last pet down her neck before
turning to me. “I’m surprised the verbal assault hasn’t started yet.” He leaned
one of those broad shoulders up against the tree to my side and crossed his
arms, waiting.
“I need to know what your stake in all of this is,” I said, gesturing around
me, arms open.
“What do you mean?” His eyebrows knitted together.
“Why come get me? I know that you thought my Fae side would kick in
when you brought me here, but until then, I’m useless and weak. And even
when she does decide to take over, what’s my purpose? Why make my
unknown danger your business?” I was standing in front of him now, trying
to look up into his eyes under the dark curtain of hair framing them.
He let out a long sigh and met my gaze. “I didn’t have some grand
scheme in mind when I decided to get you. All I knew was what Theron
could and would do, and I didn’t think it was fair for you to have to withstand
that.” He eyed me with caution, weighing something in his mind. “He raised
me,” he finally said. “And the things I endured there…” He went quiet and
dragged his eyes over to Astraea below.
“But you’re the High Lord of the Night Court. Why were you raised by
the Autumn Court?”
“Because I’m bastard born. My mother was from the Night Court, low
born. She worked in the castle, and when Theron visited, he took one look at
her and took her for his own. She was married to Theron as soon as they
stepped foot on Autumn soil. She tried to escape him once and came back to
the castle looking for refuge. My biological father was the brother of the
High Lord here and remembered her and demanded my uncle take her in.”
He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his windswept hair before
settling them into the back pockets of his pants.
“She was here for months. She and my father fell in love. But she was
married to the High Lord of the Autumn Court which meant they couldn’t
ever be together unless Theron gave her up. Which would never happen. She
was his. My father would never be able to take her as his true Mate.” My face
must’ve betrayed my question there. “We choose our Mate when we’ve
found the male or female who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. It’s
similar to human marriage but much more complicated, and that’s a story for
another time.” I nodded, and he continued.
“I guess Theron got sick of it and told my uncle, the High Lord, that my
mother belonged to him and that if he didn’t hand her over, there would be
war.” He paused at the look on my face. “Yes, little duck, Fae will go to war
over what we deem is ours. And he viewed her as his property.” My body
went cold. His shadows were dancing around him. “So my uncle’s hand was
forced, and they were made to give her back. But she went back with a
surprise.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes as he gestured to himself. “I
was already making her belly round by the time she made it back to him. He
hated me. He was already an evil man. But his hate for me was something
wild and unruly. He would beat me for no reason. He taught me how to fight
but with real weapons, even as a child, leaving scars all over my body. And if
I showed any sign of weakness, he would beat me until he thought it was
gone or I pissed myself with pain.”
He shivered, but I knew he wasn’t cold. I didn’t know what to say. I
could see a small Asher, bruised and bloody, shoving down his fear and tears,
and it broke my heart. I stared at him in silence as a minute ticked by. I was
seeing him in a new light. Maybe he was mean and sarcastic because he had
some serious deep-rooted trauma. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I had painted
him out to be.
“Don’t look at me like that, Alys,” he said, his voice turning dark and
rough. I flinched at his tone. “What you’re looking for, you won’t find. Any
shred of humanity I had died on Autumn soil. I don’t need nor do I want your
pity.” I took a step back from him, shying away from the anger I saw shining
in his eyes. He smiled, but this time it was ugly. His fangs glinted in the
starlight. “These tattoos I have? They mark deaths that came from my hands.
And as you can see, I have a lot of them.” I took another step back from him
and was stopped by the rough bark of a tree. My heart hammered in my chest
like a caged animal.
I swallowed my fear and tried to buried it deep. I didn’t want him to feel
that from me. I thought back to when he was shirtless on the couch,
practically bleeding out. His arms, shoulders, chest, and stomach were
covered in intricate tattoos, all connected. I never saw his back, but the way
they flowed over his shoulders, I assumed it was covered as well. Were his
legs? The thought of that much death made my stomach roll. I closed my
eyes and took a deep breath, willing my heart back into its normal rhythm.
When I opened them, he was in front of me, that same evil smile spread
across his lips. His shadows were billowing around him like a storm,
blocking out anything else around us.
 “I know I’ve been keeping this from you, but I think it’s time you knew.”
He tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. The gesture felt threatening.
“He’s your father, Alys.”
My entire body went cold as death. He nodded like he could feel the
dread course its way through my veins. He grabbed my chin between his
thumb and forefinger and forced my eyes to his. He was so close now I could
feel his breath on my lips. “You have his eyes,” he whispered. “Every time I
look at you, all I can see is the man that beat me half to death and made me
watch as he drained the life out of my mother.” A lump formed in my throat,
and tears threatened my eyes.
He dropped my chin and created some distance between us, his shadows
reluctantly following. I stared at the ground as I took everything in. Of all the
times I imagined what my father was like as a child, I never imagined he
would be someone capable of the things Asher was accusing him of. The
crushing weight of despair forced my shoulders to sag and my limbs to go
numb. How could I have been related to someone so awful? I tried to put
myself in Asher’s shoes. Looking at someone every day that only reminded
you of your captor, your abuser… He must hate me. I wondered if that was
why, when he was at his weakest and in so much pain, he had attacked me.
Just blind rage at the honey eyes he had seen so many times as a child.
But another thought occurred to me. If Theron was my father, that meant
Aoife had to be my sister.
“Wait. That means Aoife is my sister? Is she your sister?” His eyes
finally found mine again, and he nodded.
“You and her share the same father, yes. But my mother died long before
his new sexual conquests came along.” His lip curled at the thought, and so
did mine at the way he described my mother. “Aoife and I share no blood,
thank the Gods. And just in case you couldn’t do the math, neither do we.”
Even through all the things Asher had said to me about Aoife, the thought of
her being family warmed a small part of my heart. That minuscule warmth
faded though as soon as I remembered that she was my only family left, and
she still hadn’t come for me.
“So what am I supposed to do, Asher? We have no idea when I’ll become
Fae, and until then I’m a sitting duck. I’m weak, breakable. You and Emric
can’t be my lifelong babysitters. And I know you don’t want to look at me
every day, just a reminder of him sitting around. I also can’t be expected to
just hide out in your castle my entire human life if I happen to never change.”
 He shook his head slowly back and forth and stared at the snow. “I don’t
have the answers to those questions, Alys. Regardless of who your father is,
you will always have a place here as long as you want it. But right now, you
need to lie low. There’s a reason you haven’t seen anyone other than staff
back there. No one can know that you’re here. I can’t take you down there
and let you live a life because you would be vulnerable and exposed. I will be
exposed, and I would really appreciate not having to go to war over one of
his spawn. Sooner or later, you will change. There just has to be something
that triggers it, and when that happens, we can revisit the subject of what we
do from there.” He shoved his hands in his pockets forcefully and laid his
head back to the sky. He took a breath, and it billowed out of him in tendrils
of steam. I followed the tattooed lines down the thick column of his throat.
“But there’s a lot of unrest right now,” he continued, bringing his eyes
back down to mine. Mine shot to his, my cheeks blushing. “Things are
changing in Esteria, and you can’t risk setting anything else off. I need you to
promise me you will lie low and try to let me sort this out.” His eyes looked
black in this low light, and I tried to match the intensity in his stare.
“I promise.”
I wasn’t sure what other choice he thought I had. I couldn’t make a run
for it. I had no idea how to make it back to the human world. Even if I did, I
didn’t know if I would be safe there. My only choice right now was to trust
him and stay with him, no matter how scared I was of him. I was given a
place to live and food to eat. I couldn’t really complain. He looked relieved at
my promise. His shoulders relaxed from the tension I didn’t realize had been
building inside of him.
But this knowledge I had about him now put me on edge. The sharp claw
of fear skittered its way down my spine. He was a murderer. I didn’t think he
would hurt me—he had said no one would—but the possibility of it
happening in my mind was pulling stronger now that I knew more about who
he was.
“How’s your little scrape?” I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit. The
thought of riding back to the castle with this tension we had built did not
sound like something I would enjoy.
“Completely healed. Wanna see?” That mischievous smile returned to his
eyes. He took a few steps back towards me, closing the distance he had
created earlier.
“I’ll take your word for it, thank you.” I turned away from him before he
could get too close and looked out over Astraea again, my shoulder still
leaning against the tree. My legs were still shaky, and I didn’t trust them to
hold me up. “It looks like a winter wonderland.” He stopped behind me, and I
could feel his tension was fading faster now with the subject change. “I’d like
to go down there one day and walk along those canals and visit all the little
shops. It’s seriously like a faery tale down there.” I smiled and found him
staring at me when I looked over my shoulder at him.
“When it’s safe,” he promised. “When you’re safe, you can go wherever
you want.”
I turned my attention back to the little town below us. I took a deep
breath, feeling his shadows wrap themselves around me. I leaned into them
instinctively and let them fill my senses with the smell of jasmine and cedar.
They quickly pulled away from me, and I stumbled. I blinked and turned
around to look at him, but I met his back and he was stiff, still as a statue,
looking around the woods behind us. He turned around much quicker than
was humanly possible and grabbed both of my arms, his fingertips sinking
painfully into my flesh. Again. Bruises were clearly just a known hazard with
him. I winced, and a small whimper came out of my mouth as he squeezed
harder. My stomach turned cold with fear at the look on his face.
“Listen to me, Alyssandra,” he whispered. “I don’t have time to explain,
but I need you to get on Isolde and ride as best and as fast as you can back to
the castle.”
“What?” I whispered back in shock. He picked me up like a child, and in
a few steps we were back over to Isolde, and I was in the saddle, reins in
hand.
“You’re smart. I know you can get back to the road and follow our tracks
back to the castle. A sharp nudge with your foot and she will go. Pull back on
the reins to stop her. It won’t take a hard pull—she isn’t stubborn. She knows
what to do. I will keep you warm and hidden for as long as I can. But I can’t
guarantee they won’t smell you.” I looked at him with wide eyes, the fear
spreading through my limbs, making them go numb again.
“Asher, what is happening?”
“There are things out here other than Fae, Alys. Dangerous things. Now
get back to the castle grounds and start shouting for Emric as soon as you are
inside and not a moment before. And whatever you do,” he said, grabbing my
hands and squeezing them tightly. His dark eyes were tight with worry. “Do
not look back.”
 CHAPTER ELEVEN

I knew if I headed straight back through the trees, I would find the road. But
Isolde was going so fast that I could barely make out the trees as we passed
them. I couldn’t hear anything over the hoofbeats and my own heavy
breathing. But Asher was right—so far Isolde was letting me ride her easily
as we made our way back. All of a sudden, we broke through the trees, and
we were on the road. And, shit. Asher hadn’t told me how to turn.
“Left, Isolde!” I shouted and pulled on the left side of the reins. She let
out a loud protest but skidded and took a sharp left. I looked down at the
snow and saw our old tracks as we took off again. I nudged her lightly with
my boot, and she picked up the pace. Then I heard them, loud screams, like
what I imagined a banshee would sound like, cutting through the silence
behind me. Without thinking, I sent up a prayer to the only higher power I
knew of in this world: Nyxa. I prayed to her, shouting in my mind that she
would spare myself and Asher.
My heartbeat was erratic. It felt like it might beat right out of my chest at
any moment. My breaths were coming in and out just as quickly and
probably as loudly as Isolde’s were. I heard branches start snapping and
cracking behind me. It took all my willpower not to look behind us as we
soldiered on. The feeling of someone watching me crept over me like a
thousand spiders, and panic set in. Something was after me, and I wasn’t
going to survive. I was going to die a weak and pathetic human.
Another wail came from behind me, this time much closer, and I fought
back a scream. A sob broke through me as I felt Asher’s magick fail me. The
cold cut across my face like knives and whipped through my hair. My hands,
gripping the reins, turned into ice. I knew I was visible to whatever those
creatures were, and if they didn’t kill me first, the cold would. The sweater I
wore did very little to protect against the wind. I might as well have just been
in a bra.
My body shook with relief at the sight of the castle coming into view. The
gate that led into the grounds was so close. Another sob bubbled up through
my throat, and the tears fell over my cheeks and froze in the wind. Trees were
snapping next to us now instead of behind us, and I felt hot breath on my ear.
We broke through the gate, and I screamed Emric’s name as loud as I
could. It must’ve spooked Isolde because she took off in the opposite
direction I needed to go. She banked left and rode along the tree line, passing
them so quickly they were a blur of dark greens and browns. I couldn’t feel
the creatures near us anymore, but that didn’t make me feel any safer so close
to the woods.
“Isolde!” I yelled and pulled on the reins as hard as I could out of pure
fear. She reared back at my demand, and I fell off her and onto the ground,
knocking all of the air out of my lungs. They screamed in protest as I tried to
gulp the frosty air inside of them. Isolde was off, running further and further
down the grounds. The adrenaline was still pumping through my veins, and it
forced me to sit up without a second thought and take off running towards the
castle.
“Emric!” I shouted again, my voice hoarse and painful. I was so thankful
that I had managed to get past Mavka and wear boots tonight. If I had been
dressed for a normal dinner, I would be dead.
It took me a second to get my bearings in the dark. I was on the lake side
of the castle now. It was between me and safety, and I ran towards it as fast
as I could, my heart beating against my chest in protest. My legs were aching,
but thanks to all the training I had been through, it was a good ache. I could
do it. I could make it back in one piece. I tripped in a hole and rolled my
ankle, falling to the ground. I cursed under my breath and got back up,
forcing my body to ignore the pain as I repeated a mantra in my head over
and over: One foot in front of the other, Alys.
I reached the edge of the lake and decided to just run straight across it. It
would save me time, and because of where I was, I wouldn’t have to go
through the deepest parts. With how cold it had been, it was definitely frozen
completely over by now. Emric was still nowhere to be seen, and I started to
panic again. What if he couldn’t hear me and I would get to the door only to
be locked out? I didn’t have any magick. I couldn’t just unlock the stupid
doors and waltz in. That would have to be something I discussed with Asher
in future. If I survived.
A cracking noise came underneath me, and my stomach fell through my
body. This time, it wasn’t the trees that were snapping; it was the ice. I was
wrong—it hadn’t been cold enough to support my weight. I picked up my
speed, ignoring the stabbing pain coursing up through my leg from my ankle.
The ice was breaking more quickly now. I could feel it shift beneath my feet
with every step, and I was still so far from the shore.
“If I could get some help, that would be great!” I yelled to no one in
particular. “Can I get some wings? Some Fae speed?” I shouted between
breaths. If my Fae side had kicked in, I would easily make it to land.
But it didn’t. And I didn’t.
The ice gave way, and I fell hard into the icy water, my ribs cracking
against the edge of the open ice on my way down. I grunted as I kicked my
legs and dug my nails into the snow, but the water was too cold. It froze my
bottom half and shocked the rest of my body. My arms couldn’t hold me up
against the momentum I had as I fell in.
Water went up my nose as I sank deeper. It was dark, and I was
panicking. I tried to kick and swim, but I just couldn’t. I knew how to swim,
but this water froze the very blood in my veins. My muscles wouldn’t work. I
screamed, but it was muted by the muddy water that floated in. All my life, I
had been terrified of open water. I refused to swim in anything but a pool.
What a cruel twist of fucking fate.
My lungs started to ache, and my head swam. Any second now, my body
would try to breathe of its own accord, and the cold water would fill my
lungs. I had heard drowning was the most painful way to go, but down here,
in this moment, it was quiet and almost peaceful. I thought of my mother, and
a million memories flooded my brain, playing like movies. Without thinking,
I sent up another quick prayer to Nyxa, in a last-ditch effort to survive. She
was the only God I knew, and I figured it would be safer to pray to a God of
this world than of my own. Stars swam into my vision, and my lungs burned
with their demand for air.
“Now is not your time, my child,” said an echoed voice. My lungs
expanded with air, momentarily relieving the strain, and my eyes flew open.
Light radiated around the figure in front of me. I blinked as I floated there in
front of her. Her face was inches from mine as her white eyes gazed into my
honey ones. Black hair swam around her glowing face. “Change,” she said.
She touched the space in between my eyebrows, and blinding pain seared
through every nerve in my body. I closed my eyes against the tortuous fire in
my blood and felt myself fly through the water and up into the air above the
lake. I crashed onto the side of the lake and screamed into it. It felt like claws
were scraping down my back, like my bones were breaking at every angle.
And then, as quickly as it had come, it was gone. I collapsed against the snow
and breathed in the fresh air in heavy gulps.
“Alys?” I heard Emric yell. “Alys!”
“Here!” I tried to yell back. I must’ve been loud enough for his Fae
hearing because I heard his steps come my way quickly. Where the hell had
that Fae hearing been earlier?
“Holy shit,” he said as he came upon me. I rolled up onto my knees,
coughing and still struggling to breathe, and looked up at him. His hair was
back in his normal top knot, but pieces had fallen out around his face from
the wind.
“Asher told me to run. Something was out there,” I croaked. He bent
down and helped me stand up. His shock exploded through my veins, and I
pulled away from him, rocking back on my heels, a bit off-balance. “Asher is
still out there,” I said, looking around wildly like I might see him in the
distance.
“Alys, I don’t want you to freak out right now. So I need you to promise
me that you are going to stay calm, okay?”
I locked eyes with him then. “Where’s Asher, Emric?” I practically
shouted at him. “Did he make it back?” Dread settled deep in my stomach. If
Asher wasn’t around to give me shelter and safety anymore, I was screwed.
Emric’s eyes darted over my body. “Emric!” I yelled, and he flinched. My
shoulder warmed where Asher’s dust was and spread through my neck. I
didn’t know how, but I just knew he was close. He was alive. I felt it in my
bones that he was alive.
“Asher?” I yelled into the open air, my eyes scanning the horizon. The
stars and moon must’ve been shining more brightly then because I could see
much more than I had been able to earlier. Wind swept through my hair, and
my neck tingled as a loud thud sounded behind me. I whirled around and saw
him standing there, wings shining black, blue, and purple in the starlight.
Relief swept through me. I wanted to throw myself at him, but my body
had other ideas. I went to take a step towards him, my heart pounding with
relief, and fell to my knees in exhaustion. Emric and Asher both raced
towards me, ready to catch me.
“Please, don’t,” I said, holding a hand up at them. Emric seemed to
understand and took a step back. But when I looked up, Asher knelt in front
of me, wings magicked away. Even with him on his knees, I had to crane my
head back to look at him. “I fell in the lake,” I said.
“I see that,” he said with a small laugh. “How do you feel, Alys?”
“Exhausted. Isolde threw me, and I ran as fast as I could. I tripped and
hurt my ankle. And then to add insult to injury, I fell in the lake, and I’m
pretty sure I cracked my ribs in the process.” I paused and remembered what
happened in the water.
He bent down more on my eye level and searched my eyes. “And then
what happened, Alys?”
I looked to the ground, sorting through my thoughts. “I-I’m not sure. I
saw someone down there. She had white eyes, and her hair looked black. She
was glowing.” I looked back up to his eyes. “She saved me.” I watched Asher
and Emric look at each other, a thousand thoughts exchanged between them.
“What?” I asked, looking back and forth between them.
“Alys.” Asher’s voice came surprisingly gentle. “You’ve changed.”
“Changed? Changed how? Wait, like, I’m Fae now?” I asked, looking
down at my hands, but my fingers weren’t charred as I had expected being
from the Autumn Court. I lifted my hands to my ears and felt them come to a
point at the tips. I gasped and dropped my hands as I ran my tongue along my
teeth. My eye teeth felt like they could slice right through it. They both
watched me as I processed. I noticed I wasn’t as cold anymore. I could feel
the chill in the air and snow under my knees, but it didn’t hurt me like it had
earlier. The pain in my ankle and ribs was nearly gone now, thanks to my
newfound healing abilities.
“Alys, I don’t think it was your near drowning that made you change,” he
said slowly and evenly.
“I know it wasn’t,” I answered. “It was the lady in the lake. She told me
to change, and when she touched me, I did.”
“Yes, but that wasn’t just some lady.” He exchanged a quick glance at
Emric, who was staring intently at my back.
I slowly moved my head over my shoulder, but Asher grabbed my face
before I could. I took a deep breath as, for the first time, Asher’s emotions
flooded my system, wrecking my very existence with their force. Every
muscle in my body tensed, and I could barely force air in and out of my
lungs. My teeth ground down on my cheeks, and I tasted blood. The sheer
anguish I felt coming off him was excruciating. I pulled my face from his
grasp and tried to breathe evenly through my nose, not letting on I could feel
his emotions just yet.
“Nyxa was the one that saved you. And she has gifted you with her own
wings.”
I whipped my head around and found black, bat-like wings hanging
limply from my back. As I took notice of them, they held themselves a bit
higher, and I felt the strain in my muscles. I stood up and teetered under their
newfound weight. I tested my muscles and stretched them as far as I could.
They caught the wind and forced me back a few steps before I tightened them
back in. I saw Asher stand, and Emric took his place at his side, an amused
grin on his face.
“I’ve never seen a Fae have wings like that. But Nyxa does,” Asher said
as he watched me taking them in and out from my body.
They both watched me as I tried over and over again to open and close
them, reveling in the feel of their weight. Now that I had them, I couldn’t
imagine ever being without them. I let myself smile as I felt my ears again,
their tips still gently pointed at the end under my wet hair. I felt giddy as I
looked at my right shoulder, Asher’s dust now dancing a bit more brightly
under my skin. I turned back to them and smiled broadly. Emric let out a
laugh, and I bit the air at him, flashing my new fangs. Asher laughed softly.
“I think it’s more of a fair fight now.” I rolled my head from side to side.
“Let’s give it a go,” I said and leapt into the air towards Emric.
 CHAPTER TWELVE

Emric had time to brace himself, but my newfound strength sent him soaring
backwards in the air as my hands collided with his chest. I had really only
meant to shove him back a few feet, but I guess I wasn’t quite used to my
muscles yet. He flew backwards and landed right on his butt. He did a
backwards somersault and landed in a crouched position.
“Whoa,” I said, looking at my hands, and then I burst out laughing.
Asher’s mark on my shoulder grew warm, and I looked over at him to find
him staring at me with a smile on his face. I reared back like I was going to
push him, too, and he threw his hands up in the air.
“Don’t start a fight you can’t finish, little duck.” He had a wicked glint in
his eyes that made me think better of it. I let my arms drop. Asher winked at
me, and I wondered how so much evil could fit inside someone who looked
that handsome. Emric took advantage of me being distracted to come at me
full speed and kick me directly in the stomach. The air whooshed out of me,
but he must’ve held back because I didn’t go flying like he had. I stumbled
back a few steps but thought quickly and used his combat training to start
throwing punches and ducking at his.
I got a few good hits and kicks in, but I could feel it when he decided to
really push himself into the fight. His punches I was blocking hit my
forearms harder, and they kept coming more quickly. I let out a small yelp of
excitement, and my cheeks hurt from smiling so broadly.
I ducked to miss another hit, but he changed his tactic and swept his leg
down and under mine, and I hit the ground hard, knocking the wind out of
me. I groaned through the pain in my wings. Before I could catch my breath,
he was on top of me and pressing the point of his dagger he always kept in
his belt to my throat.
Asher let out a low growl, and Emric was immediately up and off me.
“Spoilsport,” I said through a cough at Asher.
“Good game, Wheezy. Now the fun can really begin,” Emric laughed.
Asher grabbed my arm to help me up, and even the fabric of my sweater
couldn’t protect me from the onslaught of his emotions. I pulled away from
him, and if there was any surprise in his eyes, he covered it quickly.
“What was in the forest back there?” I asked
“Let’s go inside and get you dry and warm, first, please,” Asher said,
gesturing towards the castle. I reached my hands up in my hair to wring some
of the water out, and little crystals of ice held it together. I conceded and let
them lead the way.
“I’d like to be able to get in and out without one of you. If Emric hadn’t
come tonight and I had reached the castle in time, I wouldn’t have been able
to get in.” Even though both of their backs were facing me, I saw the look
they exchanged. I could feel the wariness seep into the air. “Where am I
going to go? According to you guys, I’ve got a bounty on my head. Or people
want to kill me. I don’t even know how to get back to England, and if I did, I
wouldn’t fit in there anymore. Clearly.”
“She’s got a point, Ash,” Emric said. Asher sighed and turned around,
stopping to face me.
“The promise you made me out in those woods stands if I allow you this
and teach you how to do it.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know you don’t know me and you have no reason to
trust me, but I made a promise. I will stand by it. But keep that in mind when
you ask things of me. You haven’t earned my trust yet either.”
He didn’t seem to like that but nodded and led us back inside. Walking up
to the door, Asher suddenly remembered that Isolde had run off and asked
Emric to go get her and then meet us in his study.
“Hey, how do I get these things to go away?” I asked, pointing to the
black bat-like wings towering out of my shoulder blades.
“You’ll have to use your magick. Don’t think too hard or you’ll just make
it harder on yourself.” He came closer until the only scent around me was his.
My head swam, and those stupid butterflies fluttered back to life. “Just tell
them to go away.” He took one of my curls and twirled it around his finger.
Heat curled deep in my belly. I watched it as he let it fall back to my
shoulder. “Close your eyes, Alyssandra,” he purred. My entire body
responded to the warmth pooling around his dust on my shoulder. I didn’t
trust myself to look at him, so I did as he said.
“And then just tell them to go away?” I asked, my voice wavering more
than I’d hoped it would.
“Use your power and tell them to go away for now. Create a space for
them in the ether where they can stay until you need them again. They’re part
of you and will listen.” I felt his breath on my face and struggled to
concentrate.
“Maybe if you gave me a little space,” I said through a whisper. I heard
him give a small laugh before the coolness of his shadows gave way. I took a
steadying breath, free from him, and tried to steady myself.
“I’ve created a little space for you,” I said in my mind. “You’ll be safe
there. Go there.”
The sudden absence of their weight made me take a step forward, my
body bumping lightly into his. My eyes opened, and I looked behind me, and
sure enough, they were gone. I took a step back.
“That will get quicker with time. They’ll learn to just know when you
want them around and when you don’t.” He shrugged one shoulder and took
off down the hall.
I knew my way around enough now that I could make it back to my room
on my own. Asher, going off in another direction to do Gods knows what,
shouted after me that his study was the door down the hall from his
bedchamber. I waved back over my head and kept going. I wasn’t sure if it
was a side effect of the change I had just gone through or if I just had too
much to sort through and process, but I was exhausted.
All this newfound power meant things were going to start changing. I
would be strong enough to protect myself now, and Asher would ultimately
have to figure out what to do with me. It seemed inevitable that Theron
would find out where I was and would either come for me or come for us
both. I didn’t like this feeling of being in limbo, between two worlds.
Well, maybe not so much between two worlds anymore. Now that Nyxa
had forced my hand and made me change, it was more like I was between
two courts: a court of flame and a court of starlight. I couldn’t see myself
ever going back to the human world. Even if I could learn how to use my
magic to glamour myself, going back to see my friends would be torture. I’d
never be able to live in that world again.
I also was trying to come to grips with why I hadn’t told Asher I could
feel his emotions. His Faery GPS seemed to be a two-way street now, as well.
It didn’t seem to work as clearly as it did for him, but I could sense him. I
knew he was alive before I even saw him. I could sense his smile and laugh. I
just wasn’t sure if I wanted him to know his every emotion was broadcast to
me yet. I didn’t trust anyone in this castle completely yet, not even Mavka.
And this could give me an advantage. It could help me.
Mavka wasn’t in the room when I made it back, and I took a selfish look
at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t help it—I smiled at my reflection there.
Even though I was still very wet from falling in the lake, I was beautiful. My
skin was clear and healthy, and my eyes had changed as well. They were still
the same honey color that Asher hated so much, but there was a light behind
them now that made it look like they were glowing. The freckles across my
nose and cheeks were still faintly there. I was still me, there was just more
life in me now.
I peeled off my wet clothes and hung them near the fire to dry and kicked
my boots off onto the hearth. The sweater I was wearing was unsalvageable,
though: it had been ripped to shreds when my wings made an appearance. I
threw the sweater into the bin. I twisted my damp curls up into a haphazard
bun and threw on some warm clothes before making my way back out of my
room. I turned to say hi to the guard that would surely be there now that
Asher had told them I was back, but there was no one there. Maybe I didn’t
warrant constant watching now that I was a relatively equal match to
someone that might come looking for me.
I walked right into Asher’s study without really thinking about knocking
and found him reclined in the chair behind his desk, swirling an amber liquid
in his glass. He had changed and wore a pair of loose black pants and a black
T-shirt that stretched tightly across his broad shoulders and showed off his
chiseled arms and the tattoos. I cringed when I remembered why those tattoos
graced his skin. He had one leg casually draped over one of the arms of the
chair and the other one curled up underneath. His head was reclined back, but
he opened his eyes when I walked in.
“Please, come in.”
I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm and surveyed the room. At his back was a
fireplace, roaring and cracking with heat. The windows on the wall opposite
the door I had come through were deep and covered in cushions. The rest of
the room was relatively bare besides the couch and chairs in front of his desk.
There were a few bookshelves scattered up against the walls, but that was it.
I took up residence in the window closest to his desk and looked out at
the swirls in the night sky. I pulled my knees to my chest and curled my bare
feet into the velvet cushion. I tried to ignore how his dust danced over my
skin the same way his did under his. It tickled when he was near, like it could
sense its home was close and wanted to get out of me and back to him.
I turned to look at him, but he was right next to me, holding a glass that
matched his, filled halfway with the same amber liquid. I smiled and
carefully took it, trying not to let our fingers graze. His eyes didn’t leave my
face as I took a sip. I was expecting the smooth burn of whiskey, but instead,
it floated over my tongue like warm honey. I took another drink and reclined
my head onto the wall behind me, and a satisfied moan came through my
lips.
“What is this?” I looked up at him and watched as his heated eyes stared
at my mouth. Between his moods and my own feelings towards him, I was
going to get whiplash.
“Whiskey,” he answered and made his way back to his desk. “But
everything is going to taste better to you now that you’re Fae. Your taste buds
are heightened.”
Emric walked in and let his hair drop out of the bun and fall to his
shoulders. He ran his hands through it a few times before pouring himself a
glass of whiskey. He downed it in one go, poured another glass for himself,
and filled my now empty one before making his way over to the couch.
“What’d I miss?” He reclined and crossed his legs, one ankle resting on
the knee of the other.
“I was just about to tell Alyssandra what the creatures were in the woods
that chased her.” Emric raised his eyebrows at that and took another drink.
“The floor is yours,” Emric said. Asher leaned on the side of the desk
facing me and crossed his arms.
“There are a lot of creatures that call Esteria home that are not Faeries.
And tonight it seems some Serrens came across your scent. Their hunger is
fierce. They’re some evil little shits that will skin you alive and suck the fat
off your bones.” I shivered at the thought of the hot breath I felt on my ear as
Isolde pushed us past the castle gates.
“Did you have to fight them?” I asked. “I know at least one followed me.
I could hear the trees breaking behind me, and I know I felt it close to me.” I
took another drink. My body started to get warm under the influence of it. I
wasn’t a lightweight per se, but if I was drinking straight whiskey, I wouldn’t
last long.
“A couple stayed behind, but I took care of them. By the time I was done,
you were already crawling out of the lake.”
“You don’t look like you had a fight,” I said, looking over his face and
arms for any sign of scratches or bruises. Nothing.
“Contrary to what you saw on Mayassar, I’m not an easy target. I’m over
four hundred years old, Alys. Give me some credit.” Emric snorted at that
and then became very interested in the fabric of the couch when Asher turned
his stare to him.
“Okay, so the woods aren’t the safest place to be at night. Got it.” I took
another drink and found my glass was empty again. I went to the little bar
and filled my glass back up. My hair was starting to give me a headache from
the weight of it on top of my head. I took it down and shook it out before
leaning against the bar.
Asher cleared his throat and seemed to struggle to take his eyes off me.
He sat back down in his chair, leaned his elbows on his knees, and looked up
at me through his stupidly long lashes. God, sometimes I really wanted to
punch his pretty face. I turned my attention to his shadows dancing in the
firelight. I was definitely starting to feel the heated, sluggish effects of the
whiskey.
“Alys,” he said, his voice curling around me like the smoke around him.
“Yea?” I asked, pulling my eyes to his.
“I’d like to discuss what you saw in the lake tonight. Or rather who you
saw in the lake tonight.”
 CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I looked from Asher to Emric and back again. Both of their eyes were on me,
waiting for me to tell my story. It was hard to remember, both because it all
happened so fast and because the whiskey was clouding my mind with my
own shadows. I poured myself a glass of water instead and took a sip.
“When I was riding Isolde, I started talking to Nyxa. She is the only
Goddess or God that I know of here, and I thought it would be better to pray
to her than a mortal one.” I swallowed at the memory coming back. “I was
running once I got inside the gates because Isolde had thrown me. I decided
that I would run across the lake instead of around it because I figured it had
been cold enough for long enough that it would be frozen. And I didn’t have
to go through the dead center of it.” I looked up, and my eyes caught Emric’s
violet ones, staring through the strands of dark hair that fell across his face.
He nodded to urge me on. I sighed.
“I felt the ice cracking,” I continued. “I could feel it shift and move
underneath me, so I ran harder. I thought I could make it, but I didn’t. When
it opened beneath me, I fell into the ice, and I swear I heard my ribs crack in
half.” I winced, thinking about that sharp pain. “Anyway, I tried to swim, but
it was just too cold. So I kept sinking and sinking. My lungs burned with the
effort of holding my breath. Just when I was beginning to give up, I begged
Nyxa to save me again. Then she was there. Her eyes—” I shivered at the
thought. “They were white and glowed hot. Her skin looked so pale against
her black hair. She told me it wasn’t my time to die and told me to change.
She touched my forehead, and then I guess that’s when the change
happened.”
“I think we’ve had this all wrong from the beginning, Ash,” Emric said as
he reclined back into the arm of the couch.
“What do you mean?” Asher asked, and out of the corner of my eye, I
noticed his eyes seemed to linger on me.
“We may have had it wrong. I mean, we know she has Fae in her. We
know that side has come through now. But I don’t see any sign of the
Autumn Court.”
I looked down at my hands, thankful my fingertips were free of soot. I
flexed them in and out of a fist, testing to see if there was a sense of fire
there. Nothing but empty palms stared back at me.
“Her ears are pointed, she’s got our strength, and I can smell her from
here.”
“Excuse me?” I cut in sharply.
“You smell different,” Asher said with a wave of his hand, dismissing me
and going back to acting like I wasn’t there. Like it was the most normal
thing in the world for them to be able to smell me. “What’re you thinking,
Emric?”
“I’m not saying I have the answers, but what I am saying is that she could
be a different kind of changeling. Up until very recently, it was done quite
often. She could’ve been sent out there to protect her identity. What if her
mother—” Emric looked at me reluctantly before continuing. “What if her
human mother isn’t her birth mother.”
I stopped breathing. “Wait a second. There’s a lot for me to digest there.”
They both looked at me as I began to pace in front of Asher’s desk, my steps
only slightly wobbling. “Are you trying to tell me that I now smell like a
Faery and that the woman that I grew up believing was my mother was not,
in fact, my mother?”
“Alys.” The commanding tone of Asher’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
I turned to meet his eyes and blinked away the tears from my own. “She was
still your mother. She still raised you. But I’m thinking Emric may be right. I
think she may not have been your biological mother. Nyxa gave you life—
she saved you. Gods are not known for their kindness. And I cannot imagine
her bestowing such gifts on someone that’s half human.”
Ouch. I felt myself flinch. Ever since I got here, I was just a weak, useless
human. A mortal that was more of a liability than anything.
“She has to have a motive, a reason,” he finished.
 “So I’m not a halfling, then? What am I?”
“I’m not sure. But you do smell more like a Faery and less like a human.
There’s something different on the edge of your scent, but I can’t place it.”
Both of their nostrils flared slightly as they tried to catch my scent.
“Okay, can we not smell me, please? That’s just fucking weird.” I crossed
my arms over my chest and made my way back to the bar. I took another shot
of whiskey straight from the bottle.
“If she’s something other than Fae and human, she is far more important
than anything Theron has planned for her. If he actually has anything other
than death planned,” Asher said flippantly with a wide smile lighting up his
face, fangs out for me to see on either side of his mouth. I flashed my newly
grown fangs right back at him with a clack of my teeth as I bit the air in his
direction. He smiled appreciatively and downed the rest of the whiskey in his
glass.
I looked out the window and watched the stars dance against the sky and
sighed. I felt like I was losing my mother all over again. I already had to
watch her wither away and die a painful death once in my life. Now here I
was, finding out that she might not have even been my mother. And if she
wasn’t, who was? Was my real mother just as evil as they claimed Theron to
be? I couldn’t imagine any decent person sleeping with such a horrible man.
“I think I’ve had enough excitement for the night,” Emric said, standing. I
looked at him over my shoulder and smiled at him.
“Good night, Em,” I said.
“Night, Wheezy,” he said with a wink, and the door clicked shut behind
him. I walked over and took his spot on the couch, letting the heat of the fire
mingle with the heat from the whiskey.
“You don’t smell bad, if that’s what you’re worrying about,” Asher said,
joining me on the couch, handing me another glass of whiskey. I rolled my
eyes.
“Trying to get me drunk, High Lord?” He smiled and took a sip from his
own glass. He looked from me to the fire, and when his eyes met mine again,
the smile had left them.
“I’m just thinking you’ve had quite the night. Whiskey isn’t a cure-all,
but it definitely won’t hurt.”
I nodded and drank deeply. I sank further into the couch, curling my toes
under his thighs, and sat the glass on the floor.
“What do I smell like, then?” I asked, stuffing my hands under my legs.
He reclined his head and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. There was
something attractive in the primal way his nostrils flared.
“Like sweet oranges and spiced chocolate.” His voice came out deep and
gruff, like it fought its way out of his throat. The way he was able to pin
down my scent so clearly shocked me, but I recovered quickly. I had always
been able to smell him, so I guessed it wasn’t that strange to have a scent.
“Okay,” I said, mimicking his posture, leaning my head back and closing
my eyes. “You have a scent, too, you know.” I felt him shift his attention
towards me.
“And that is?”
“Jasmine and cedar. Sometimes the scent on your shadows kind of
remind me of cold mountain air.” He made a small approving noise, and we
fell into silence.
I could feel my newfound power vibrating beneath my skin. I was
hyperaware of everything in the room. The fire felt hotter, the aftertaste of the
whiskey tasted sweeter, and Asher’s magick felt stronger, palpable in the air
around me. I could sense him there, the heat from his thigh warming my toes
that curled into the cushions. It felt like his power called to mine like magnets
to metal. It was a tangible thing, moving and purring against mine.
“What’re you doing?” I thought I heard him ask. But blood was rushing
through my ears as I tried to control my magick. I sensed his breathing pick
up, shallow and quick. I reached out in my mind, imagining his magick as his
shadows were, midnight black and swirling, and gently took it in between my
fingers. I smiled. His magick was soft as silk and crawled slowly up my
forearm, like it was searching for the manifestation of my power.
“Alyssandra,” Asher said, and my eyes sprang open. He was pale, and his
forehead was slick with sweat. “Stop. Let go, please,” he said through
clenched teeth. I shook the haze from my thoughts, mentally shook magick
from my arm, and sat up straighter. His shoulders slumped, and the color
started to creep back into his face.
“I’m sorry,” I said, curling my knees up to my chest. “I didn’t realize
what I was doing.”
He glanced at me, and I waited until his breathing returned to normal. He
sat up and placed his elbows on his knees.
“I’ve never had anyone able to touch my magick before. That’s what you
were doing, right?”
“I think? I could just sense it and—” I stopped trying to explain because I
knew I couldn’t without sounding crazy.
“You’re much stronger than I expected,” he said, and I thought I heard a
hint of admiration in his voice.
“Well, that’s good news. Once I learn how to use it properly, I’ll be able
to take care of myself.”
“It is a relief,” he said bluntly, staring into the fire. I ignored the sinking
feeling in my gut. I didn’t like change, and I didn’t like that once I could take
care of myself, he could and probably would kick me out. “The Winter
Solstice is coming up in a week,” he said, suddenly changing the subject.
“Do you celebrate Christmas?” I crossed my legs like a pretzel and leaned
closer.
“Kind of,” he said, a smile playing at his lips.
“I love Christmas.” I smiled when he looked up at me. “My mom used to
go crazy for it. She would decorate the entire house until it lit up like a
Christmas tree, inside and out.” I ignored the dull ache in my heart. Even if
she hadn’t given birth to me, it didn’t make her any less of a mother. And it
certainly didn’t ease the pain of missing her.
“Well, I thought we might go to the Winter Court for the Solstice.
They’re close to me, in distance and in a political relationship. I’ve been
invited and, if you wanted to get out of here for a while, you could come with
me.”
My heart beat so hard in my chest I thought it might burst free. “I can
come with you? What about keeping me hidden?”
He leaned back into the couch and crossed one leg over the other.
“You’ve been locked away long enough.” He sighed. “Honestly, I’m sure he
knows by now that I’m the one that took you.” He finished his drink. “His
court won’t be invited. It will be safe enough.” His eyes locked on mine then,
turning my already warm insides to mush. “And I won’t let you out of my
sight, dearest.”
I swallowed, wondering if that was a threat or a promise.
“I’d love to go.”
“Good.” He smiled. “There’s something else, Alys.” He took a breath and
looked past me. “I’d like to ask for your help.”
“Okay,” I said tentatively.
“I’d like you to use your gift while we’re there. It could really help me
figure out who my allies are.”
Oh.
 I tried not to let it hurt my feelings that I had read the situation differently.
I cringed and assured myself he didn’t know what it felt like to feel others’
emotions. Because if he did, he wouldn’t be asking me this. I eyed him
warily. He may have gone about it the wrong way, but he did supposedly
save my life by stealing me away. He’d given me a place to stay and food to
eat. Would it really be so awful to spend a weekend helping him trust the
people around him?
“I can try.”
His lips turned up in a grim smile. Maybe he did know what he was
asking of me after all. He stood, offering me his hand. I looked at it and
pushed myself up and off the couch without touching him. His face fell, but a
smirk was painted back across his mouth so quickly that I wasn’t sure I
actually saw it happen.
“I’ll have Mavka pack your things. We leave in four days.” He turned his
back on me as he went to sit at his desk. The floor felt colder now under my
bare feet as I silently made my way to the door.
“Good night,” I whispered as I pulled the door shut behind me.
PART TWO
WINTER
 CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I watched as Mavka pulled each dress off a rack and explained what they
were for. I had day dresses, evening gowns, and plenty of cloaks, gloves, and
hats. I wanted to ask why I would have to change so many times throughout
the day, but she looked as though she was enjoying herself, and I didn’t want
to spoil it. Each dress got meticulously folded and placed into a wooden trunk
at the foot of my bed.
I stood, leaning against the bedpost, watching as layer upon layer of
fabric was packed up for me. I was dressed in a long-sleeve dress with a
neckline that stopped right at my collarbone. The material wasn’t as heavy as
velvet, but it was thick and warm and brushed the ground when I walked. The
cut in the side of it that ended just above my knee was the only part of it that
exposed any skin. It was a sage-green color, and the heels I was told I had to
wear were nude with a thick heel.
“Why do I have to dress up for the carriage ride there?” I had asked
Mavka as she buttoned the long line of buttons up my spine.
“When you get there, you will be seen by many High Fae. You have to
look the part.” The so-called “part” she referred to was the story Asher had
come up with in the past few days. I would be a soul that had begged for her
life back, and in exchange for a lifetime of servitude, he spared “my pretty
face,” were his exact words.
As Mavka placed the last dress in my trunk, Asher waltzed into my room
like he owned the place. Which, I guessed, he technically did. His normally
unruly waves were combed back out of his face, accentuating the sharp lines
of his cheekbones. He was, as always, dressed head to toe in all black.
“I could’ve been naked!” I exclaimed in his direction. Mavka balked at
me and paled, but Asher didn’t miss a beat.
“How unfortunate I didn’t come earlier, then.”
“Very funny. Are we ready to go?”
“We are. Mavka,” he said as she clicked the trunk closed. “I’d like a
moment alone with Alyssandra.”
“Of course,” she said and patted his arm on the way out.
“Do you remember your name that we settled on?” He toyed with the
heavy fabric around my bed.
“It’s not like it’s drastically different. I’ve had people call me Lyssa
before in my life.” Only one, I thought, and Thomas’ handsome face flashed
before my eyes. Asher nodded.
“I have something for you.” He walked over to me and pulled a dagger
from out of his back pocket. It sat inside a stiff holder with two long leather
straps that came out of the back. One near the hilt and the other at the tip.
“Fae can only be killed by the wood of an Ash tree.”
I felt my eyebrows scrunch together. “Are you named after a tree that can
kill you?”
“Theron’s idea of a sick joke.” I swallowed and reached out to touch the
handle. He let me pull it out gently. It felt smooth, and I liked the weight of it
in my hand. I had trained with swords and daggers of all sorts with Emric, but
this felt different. This one felt like mine. I tossed it in the air with a flick of
my wrist, and it flipped backwards once before landing safely back in my
palm. “Anyway, there is dust from the Ash tree that lines the inside of this
holder, and so every time you pull it out, it will come out coated in the stuff.
If you draw blood, you’ll likely kill them.”
Knowing that this could also kill me now, I gingerly pushed it back into
its holder. He knelt in front of me and leaned back on his heels. He looked up
at me through his dark lashes.
“It straps around your thigh. I’ve made sure all of your dresses for this
trip are loose enough that it won’t be seen. May I?” His question caught me
off guard as I realized what he was asking to do. I swallowed thickly and
nodded. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat…and in other places. “Which
is your dominant hand?”
“Right,” I croaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I’m right-
handed.” That stupid smirk pulled at his lips as he pushed the fabric of my
dress back. The slit in my dress went up my left leg, so it was a bit awkward
for him to gain access to my right.
The moment I felt his rough fingers graze my skin, gooseflesh broke out
over my arms and up my spine. This time, it wasn’t agony that I felt from
him, but something more like hesitation and another that almost felt like
excitement. The latter made the heat from his dust on my shoulder almost
painfully hot. If he noticed, though, he didn’t say anything.
His hands went higher, and I cringed, knowing he was about to strap that
thing around my thigh. My thighs were never considered small, especially not
after I had been training for weeks and adding on muscle. They were thick,
and I worried that the straps wouldn’t be long enough.
He reached my midthigh, and his free hand grabbed the back of it and
pulled it closer to him with a firm grip. That feeling of hesitation I got from
him earlier disappeared.
Get a grip, Alys. He is a murderer.
I almost lost my balance but managed to grab onto the bedpost and
remain upright. When I looked down at him, about to scold him for almost
knocking me over, what I saw in his eyes made my body go warm and my
face flush. My magick pulsed through my body wildly, begging for a release.
Asher saw my reaction, and his nostrils flared slightly. I was no longer
worried about what he might think of my thighs. He was looking at me like I
was water and he was on fire. My brain kept sending alarm bells off, but my
body wasn’t listening.
He situated the dagger much higher up on my thigh than I thought was
necessary, almost brushing exactly where I wanted him. But any ability to
speak and tell him off in my normal sassy way was gone the second he had
touched my skin. The straps fit around my thigh easily, and he secured it
tightly. His thumb ran along the edge of it while keeping his eyes locked on
mine.
Those few seconds could have been hours. Time slowed, and all I could
see were his eyes that looked more blue than grey in the moment. His hands
dropped, skimming my leg the entire way down. When he stood, his mouth
tilted to the side, and the old, overly confident Asher was back.
“Just promise not to use it on me,” he said and winked. “We leave in
five.”
The door shut behind him, and I clung to the bedpost, hoping my legs
would start to work again.
After I got the feeling back in my legs, I made my way down to the carriage.
Emric helped toss our trunks onto the back. And when I say toss, I mean he
was actually tossing them through the air.
“Oi!” I said as mine hit with a thud. “Mav took ages packing that
perfectly. A little tact would be nice.”
“I think your precious dresses will survive.” He offered me his hand, and
I gave him my gloved one. “Have fun,” he said with a wink and helped me up
into the carriage. I settled back on the cushioned bench so that I was facing
forward. I had been on trains where I would sit backwards, but they were
smooth with big windows I could look out of. Something told me this
wouldn’t be the smoothest ride.
Asher whispered something to Emric so low that even with my new Fae-
enhanced ears I couldn’t hear. When Asher climbed into the carriage, it tilted
slightly with his weight and then settled as he sat on the bench across from
me. He was so tall that his knees brushed mine until he made his way to the
opposite side, giving himself room to stretch out his legs and cross them at
his ankles.
The ride was just as I thought it would be: long and rough. As it crossed
over the dirt roads, it rattled, and with every bump we hit, and I thought my
teeth would vibrate right out of my mouth. At one point I was holding on to
the door so tightly that I cracked it in half.
“Shit, sorry,” I said, pulling both of my hands into my lap. “I guess I’m
not used to the new strength yet.”
He eyed the door and then me curiously before his gaze tracked back out
the window. The silence between us was palpable. I didn’t know what to fill
it with, and he didn’t seem interested in trying, lost in his own thoughts.
The hours passed, and I could feel myself fighting sleep. The loll of the
carriage moving back and forth was like being rocked to sleep, albeit
roughly. I reclined my head back against the stiff cushions and closed my
eyes.
“No point in going to sleep now,” Asher said, jolting me back to life. I
stretched and yawned, my muscles aching from being in one position for so
long.
“Are we almost there?”
“Almost,” he said and turned his attention to me. “Remember our story,
and stay close to me.”
“I know, I know,” I said and rolled my eyes. “I get it. You spared me
because I’m pretty, I serve you because of it, and I’m ever so grateful for the
opportunity.”
“We’ll be staying together in the same cottage,” he said, ignoring my
sarcasm.
“Cottage? We aren’t staying in a castle like yours?”
His small smile was real this time. “The High Lady has one, but for the
Solstice celebration, she does things a little different. You’ll see.” He pointed
out the carriage window, and I made my way down the bench to get a better
look. He pulled his legs back to him to give me room.
The road we were on was surrounded by the biggest pine trees I had ever
seen. They had to be as big as the Redwoods in California I had heard stories
about. There were beautiful tree houses dotted throughout them, all
connected by swinging wooden rope bridges. In every one, a soft, warm light
poured out of the windows. I looked back at him with the widest smile on my
face to find him watching me.
“We get to stay in those?”
“We do,” he said and looked out the window as well. The trees began to
clear out, and we came to a stop. I couldn’t get out of the carriage quickly
enough. Asher opened the door for me instead of having to wait for the driver
to do so. I jumped out, and he was hot on my heels.
We had stopped in what looked like a large town square that was
surrounded by Tudor-style buildings. A huge Christmas tree was directly in
the middle, filled with lights of every color. Around the tree were market
stalls filled with people pulling out their merchandise and setting up for the
Solstice event. Fae were mingling around, looking at what the merchants had
to offer and laughing with one another. It felt so…normal.
“This is beautiful,” I whispered to Asher as he watched me take it all in.
“It is,” he said. Abruptly, he at the footsteps coming towards us. I moved
to his side so quickly that I bumped into his back, his shadows splaying out
like disturbed dust. I moved half a step away and kept my eyes on the ground.
I didn’t have to ask who it was. I could feel power, almost as strong as
Asher’s, pulse through the air.
“High Lord of Night,” she said, her voice like velvet. “You’ve ventured
outside of your castle, I see.” He gave a short bow, and I followed suit with a
curtsey. Asher had explained to me before leaving that the visiting High Lord
or Lady is the one that bowed. He also told me to follow his every move.
Look at me, I thought. Being the dutiful little pet.
“I wouldn’t miss your Solstice celebration, Zemira,” he said,
straightening back to his full height. I kept my eyes trained on his shoes.
“And who’s your friend, Asher?” I felt her eyes slide to me. He pulled my
arm into his and brought me forward. The clothes between us couldn’t stop
his emotions flowing into my body. The last thing I needed right now was his
nerves mingling with my own, but I fought through them with a smile as I
met her eyes.
She was the most beautiful Fae I had seen yet, and probably ever would.
She was just as tall as Asher, if not taller, and her red dress hugged her every
curve. Her skin was dark, and her eyes were as green as an emerald. Her
ebony hair flowed down to her waist in tight spirals. I couldn’t pull my eyes
from her.
“This is Lyssa. A poor soul that begged for her life on Mayassar. I know
it’s against the rules, but I couldn’t ignore that pretty face,” he said, grabbing
my jaw and pulling my face towards him. He dragged his thumb across my
bottom lip, and my breath caught in my throat at the intimate gesture. “She’s
my little plaything now, fetching me wine and food, among other favors.” He
dropped my face, and my eyes instantly fell back down to the ground, my
cheeks burning red.
Murderer. Murderer. Murderer.
“Well, we are so happy to have you, Asher.” Her hand reached out and
squeezed his arm once, and then she turned and went to greet more guests
that were arriving. I tugged my arm from his.
“Plaything? Really, Asher?”
He smirked and took my arm back, pulling me in the direction of a man
that was loading our trunks onto a cart. “Just trying to make it believable,
little duck.”
I decided to drop it and just be happy that I was out of the same four walls
for the first time in almost a month. I took in our surroundings as we walked
off into the forest to find our home for the next five days.
 CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Asher grabbed me around my waist, and suddenly we were in the air. A

scream caught in my throat before we landed on the wobbly bridge that was
probably sixty feet off the ground. He let me go, and his inky wings
disappeared again. I gripped onto the railing so hard my knuckles turned
white with the effort.
“A warning next time,” I said and elbowed him in the stomach.
“This is ours.”
He pointed to the tree house in front of us, and it was all I could do to not
push past him and run into it. It sat perfectly in between limbs and branches,
staying upright, I assumed, by magick. He walked forward and opened the
door, letting me walk in and wander around while the other Faery pushed our
trunks into the main living space.
All of the walls were made out of a warm wood, with large windows on
every wall. In the main room, there were a couple of deep couches and cozy-
looking chairs. Ours had a bookshelf with a ledge in the window next to it for
reading. There wasn’t a kitchen, but there was a bar fully stocked with plenty
of alcohol. Back the small hallway was a bathing room, and the last door was
the bedroom. The only bedroom. The bed had to be a king-size it was so
large. It was nestled against the wall to my right which let guests stare out the
wall of windows that opened up to nothing but a forest covered in snow.
I felt Asher come up behind me as I stared out of the windows. I turned
around to see him leaning against the doorframe.
“One bed?” I asked with an eyebrow raised.
 “Don’t worry, little duck. I’ll take the couch.” I rolled my eyes. “We’ll
need to leave in a bit for the welcome dinner. You’ll need to change.”
“I need to bathe as well.”
“Your clothes are in the bathing room. Choose one of the evening gowns
Mav packed.”
Getting ready, I had no desire to stand out, so I picked a black gown that
was long-sleeved, velvet on the tight bodice, but then tulle took over at my
waist and fell to the floor. The cut of the neckline was nowhere near as
modest as the one I wore earlier as it dipped all the way down to where to
tulle began, but it was either a scandalous neckline or more eye-catching
colors and fabrics. I left my hair down, and it fell to my chest in dark waves.
I dug through the bag of makeup that Mavka had packed for me and
quickly did my eyeliner and mascara and pulled everything together with
black lipstick. I would definitely fit the part of being on Asher’s arm cloaked
from head to toe in his favorite color.
But I was wrong about blending in. The moment I saw Asher, I knew
there was no way not every single eye would be on us this evening. His hair
was still combed back, showing off every inch of his annoyingly perfect face.
The black suit he wore fit every muscle in his body so well that I could see
each outline. There was a thin crown of starlight resting atop his head, and I
realized I’d never seen him dressed as High Lord before now. His shadows
were tucked tightly against him, fully under control and barely moving. I had
never seen them so reserved.
“Beautiful,” I thought I heard him murmur as he eyed me from head to
toe. “Each of your dresses,” he said louder, “have slits in the back in case you
need your wings. But if we can keep them hidden, I think that’s best. They’re
too unique; they’d set off too many questions.”
I felt heat dance across my shoulder and up my neck under his gaze. If I
could see his dust, I knew it would be dancing and swirling under my skin.
“I haven’t really had time to train them either, so let’s hope for both of
our sakes I don’t need them.”
“I have something else for you,” he said, gesturing me over to him. I
stopped in front of him, and when he opened his hands, a necklace dangled
between his fingers made of the same silver starlight as his crown.
“It’s beautiful,” I said, reaching out for it. Before I could touch it, he
gestured for me to turn around. When I did, I lifted my hair up off my
shoulders and let him put the necklace on me himself. It was cool against my
skin and sat right in the hollow of my throat. “Thank you,” I breathed and
turned back around to face him.
“That starlight will just be one more thing that lets them know you’re
mine,” he said, souring my mood.
“So it’s like a dog collar,” I deadpanned. He smirked and then suddenly
reached and ran his hand up my right thigh until he felt the steel of the dagger
resting against my skin. My breath caught in my throat, and I was frozen until
he took his hand away.
He’s a murderer, Alys. Get a grip on yourself.
“Just making sure.” He winked. “Hungry?”
“Famished.” For what, though, I couldn’t quite say.

The dinner was held in a large dining hall in the village. There were tables
that could hold about ten people placed across the room in even lines. Each
table was decorated with green swags that fell to the ground, pine cones,
large pomegranates and cranberries, and holly. There were candelabras lit on
every table, creating a soft evening glow in the room.
Asher sat me down to his right before reclining in his own chair. There
were wine decanters scattered about the table, and I picked up the one nearest
us and filled his glass first, ever the dutiful soul. I looked around the table and
saw every set of eyes glance our way at least once. A month ago, I’d thought
Faeries were just a story, and now I was one, and I was sitting in a room
surrounded by them. I filled my own glass and took a sip to calm my nerves.
I would never get used to how amazing everything tasted now that I had
changed. I could taste every underlying note of flavor in the wine, and it
warmed my blood. I ate my food in silence while Asher made small talk with
the table. After everyone was settled, no one really looked at me anymore.
All eyes were on him, hanging on every word and every laugh. I could see
every female’s eyes glued to his mouth,= like he was the most eligible
bachelor here. Maybe he was.
Two glasses of wine down and I scoffed at the thought. Asher turned his
head towards me and asked me a question with his eyes.
“Something amusing?” they seemed to ask. I rolled my eyes and went
back to eating.
 “So, Asher,” the female to his left drawled. “Who’s this precious little
thing to your right?”
I looked up, realizing she was talking about me, and met her ice-blue
eyes. She was so pale she was practically translucent, and the red lipstick she
had chosen made her white teeth glisten like pearls.
“Lyssa,” he said, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, “is just a
soul I took pity on. She accompanies me everywhere to make sure my needs
are met.” I inwardly groaned at the innuendo. I filled his wineglass to further
his point.
“Well, she is just darling,” she purred, leaning forward and exposing
more of her cleavage to him. Her hand found his forearm, and I stared at her
fingers curling into the muscle there. She looked up at him from underneath
her pale eyelashes and smiled. The decanter, still in my hand, exploded,
sending wine all over the table and glass shards scattering. The deep red of
the wine mixed with the blood trickled down my palm.
I blinked and looked at it. Had I done that? I looked at Asher, and he
grabbed his napkin off his lap, wrapping it around my palm. The female’s
hand lay limply in her lap. Small victories. His skin was rough against mine,
and concern flooded into my veins, making my anxiety flare. My breaths
came in and out in short bursts.
“Her strength is a bit off ever since I brought her back. Still getting your
balance, right?” His eyes locked with mine, and I nodded. I took a deep
breath and smiled wide.
“Please, excuse me.” I met a few faces staring at me. “I’ve been breaking
things left and right, it seems.” I pulled my wrapped hand from his grip and
settled back into my seat. Fae were beginning to filter out of the dining hall to
go to the ballroom next door. It seemed my faux pas didn’t garner any
attention from anyone other than our table.
“Why don’t we go dance?”
This female didn’t miss a beat. Her hand was back on his forearm, and
my nails dug into the still-healing cuts in my palm. The thoughts running
through my head didn’t feel like my own. They were dark and twisted and
wanted me to get her boney little fingers off his fucking arm. The weight of
the dagger was glaringly obvious on my thigh. My magick rippled under my
skin, calling me to use it. The candles on our table flickered as if they were
being pushed around by a breeze. Asher’s right hand found my thigh and
gripped it, hard, his smile at the blonde never faltering. The pain brought me
back into the room, and I trained my eyes on my empty plate.
“Please, go ahead. I’ll save you a dance, Leona,” he replied coolly and
took a sip from his wine. He waited until she and her friends were out the
door before standing and motioning for me to do the same. He walked slowly
to the door, and I stayed close to his side, our arms brushing up against each
other. Her name replaced murderer in my mental chant I had kept going on a
loop lately.
Leona. Leona. Leona.
“You need to control your magick, little duck,” he said out of the corner
of his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered back. “I’m not sure what happened.”
He looked at me then and stopped to the side of the doors. “Either you’re
just exhausted from the travel or…” He got a wicked glint in his eyes, and his
hand grazed my collarbone, and then his fingers wrapped themselves around
my throat. His thumb caressed my jaw. “Or you wanted to rip off Leona’s
pretty little head out of jealousy.”
I scoffed. He called her pretty. My stomach clenched.
“I’m exhausted,” I managed.
His hand slipped from my throat and patted the top of my head
condescendingly.
“Sure, little duck. Keep telling yourself that.” I swatted his hand away.
“But there will be plenty of dancing to be had the rest of the trip. I think we
should get you back before you decide to light the ballroom on fire.” I flipped
him off where no one else could see. He tilted his head back in laughter and
opened the door.
It was snowing, and I lifted my head to the sky to catch flakes of it on my
tongue. He watched me for a moment before his wings flared out to his sides.
“It’ll be quicker than walking.” He shrugged. I took one last glance
around the village and smiled at the kids running around the market stalls.
“Okay,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s do this.” I walked over to him and
reached up to adjust his crown that had fallen to the side over the course of
the night. He bent closer to help me reach it. Once I had finished, he scooped
me up, and I buried my head into his neck. I told myself it was to hide from
the impending view, but at this point, I wasn’t sure that was entirely true. I
breathed in his scent, and it made my magick pulse.
I peeked over his shoulder as he stretched his wings wide. The subtle
blues and purples caught in the firelight around us before he pushed off and
we were in the air. I squeezed my eyes shut and dug my fingers into his neck.
“I’m not going to let you fall, Alys,” he said over the roar of the wind.
Ugh, what a cliché, I thought. I think I already have.
Murderer, Alys. Murderer, I chided myself.
As he flew us back to our little cabin, I thought back to what happened in
the dining hall. It was a different side to my magick, and it was speaking to
me, calling out for me to use it. It felt dark, and it was buried deep inside
myself. The strange thing was, as terrifying as I found it to be, I had wanted
to obey it.
 CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“I gave you a gift, and you are denying it,” she whispered through the
darkness. I looked around, trying to find where the voice was coming from.
“All that power,” she tsked. “Just going to waste playing the role of his pet.”
The voice reverberated around my entire body, making my adrenaline rage.
“Who are you?” I screamed into the distance.
“I know you can feel it, Alyssandra.” My name came out as a hiss. “It
calls to you. Begs to be used.” Hands gripped the back of my shoulders, and I
tried to spin around and pull away, but she held firm. All I saw were her
glowing white eyes in a sea of black. Nyxa.
“Let go of me!” My heart was pounding, and my palms were sweaty. I
couldn’t breathe.
“Use it. Use it. Use it! Use it! Use it! Use it!” she screamed and
screamed at me. “Kill him. Kill him. Kill him! Kill him!” Her fingers gripped
into my shoulder so hard I knew I’d have bruises. I squeezed my eyes shut,
and a scream ripped out of my throat.
“Hey! Alyssandra!” The hands on my shoulders started shaking me.
“No! Get off of me!” I could feel myself thrashing and fighting against
her.
“Alys!” A sharp smack across my face caused my eyes to fly open, and I
jolted upright, smacking my forehead right into Asher’s nose. “Fuck!” His
hand gripped his nose, a little trail of blood dotting his upper lip.
“Oh, shit!” I reached out to try and help, but really I had no idea what I
could do, so I dropped them back down. I tried to bring myself out of the
dream, looking around and telling myself I was safe and fine. I was in the tree
house cabin, in bed, in the Winter Court. Asher was sitting on the edge of the
bed, his hair mussed from sleep, and shirtless, showing off all his murder
tattoos that snaked across his body. They did, in fact, cover his entire back as
well. His entire…muscled…back.
“What were you dreaming about?” He jerked his nose and grunted
through the pain of resetting it before it could heal crooked.
“I’m not sure.” I rubbed my forehead where it had collided with his nose.
“It was dark. Something was talking to me about my power.” I left out the bit
where I knew that it was Nyxa. “You slapped me!” I suddenly remembered.
“Yeah, well, you broke my nose.” He gave me a pointed look, and I
shrugged, causing the thin strip of my nightgown to fall off my shoulder. His
eyes followed it and lingered there. I took a deep breath against the warmth
pooling in my center and pulled the strap back up on my shoulder.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Thanks for getting me out of it, though. Even if
your tactics sucked.” I pulled the covers a bit further up my waist. He
laughed and stood up to stretch. I shamelessly watched as his abs moved
while he stretched his arms above his head. “You can sleep in here, you
know.”
He dropped his arms to his sides and raised an eyebrow. “Are you coming
on to me, little duck?”
I sighed and lay back into the pillows. “In your dreams. I’m only saying
that the couch can’t be that comfortable, and this bed is plenty big enough for
two. I’ve shared a bed with plenty of friends before. But by all means, go
back to laying your six-and-a-half-foot body on that tiny couch.”
He smiled and walked his way around the foot of the bed and to the other
side. I locked my eyes onto the ceiling, refusing to look at him as he crawled
in. The bed sank under his weight as I clasped my hands together on my
stomach.
“If you snore, I’ll kick you out,” he said as he settled in.
“Hilarious.”
I heard him laugh to himself. I dared to look at him out of the corner of
my eye. Sleeping was going to be impossible. He lay there with his right arm
tucked under his head and the other hand resting casually on his chest. His
dust, which I was actually beginning to find beautiful, danced slowly under
his skin in time with his shadows that spread under the sheets.
“Go to sleep, Alys,” he said sleepily, his eyes still shut. Realizing that I
had been staring, I clamped my eyes shut and turned on my side, away from
him
He has murdered people, Alys.
I repeated that mantra in my head, begging my body to listen to my brain.
But maybe there’s a bigger reason.
He rolled over, and even though he was on the opposite side of the bed, I
could feel his breath tickle my bare shoulder. Eventually, sleep pulled me in.
As it did, I thought I felt his fingers gently run through the ends of my hair.
Gooseflesh broke out across my skin as I smiled and let myself sink into a
dreamless sleep.

I rolled over in the morning to an empty bed. I sat up quickly and looked
around, but Asher wasn’t in the room. A sliver of anxiety crept its way into
the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t felt it in so long it was almost a foreign
feeling. The sun was shining through the trees, casting odd shadows across
the floor. I climbed out of bed and threw my hair up into a knot on the top of
my head and made my way out into the main room of the house. Asher was
sitting cross-legged in one of the chairs next to the fire, reading a book. That
knot of anxiety that had formed suddenly relaxed at the sight of him.
“What time is it?”
“Almost noon. I figured you needed your sleep. You were rolling around
all night.” He gave me a pointed look.
“Noon? You let me sleep half the day away?” I walked in front of him
and plopped down in the chair opposite, not caring when the silk nightgown
slid up my thighs.
“Like I said, I thought you needed the sleep. If you get dressed,” he said,
eyeing my exposed skin over his book, “we could go into town and shop
around the markets. Maybe get some lunch since you slept through
breakfast.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice!” I stood up to run back and get ready,
but he grabbed my arm to stop me. I didn’t think I would ever get used to his
emotions rolling into me.
“Wear your hair down,” he said, his eyes locked on mine. I nodded, and
he let my arm slide through his fingers.
After we had lunch in a cute bakery, he walked me to the Solstice markets.
Since our arrival last night, warm string lights had been hung, crisscrossing
across the square. I looked around at all the people talking and laughing with
each other, holding on to their children’s hands, and thought how normal
everything seemed. It was almost human.
“I’ve never seen you like this,” I said, tugging a bit at his wool coat.
“Like what?”
“Relaxed.” He snorted. “No, seriously. You’re all jokey and almost nice.
Is it my charm that’s slowly chipping away at your icy exterior?” I asked
dramatically.
“It helps that I’m not worried about a little human girl wandering around
trying to get herself killed. You can take care of yourself now.”
I rolled my eyes and tugged him over to the first stall. It was filled with
rings, bracelets, and necklaces, all adorned with beautiful gemstones. A
shimmering white opal ring caught my eye.
“That’s beautiful,” I gushed to the seller. “Do you make these?” She
smiled and nodded, her lilac eyes lighting up with my praise.
“Charge it to my account, please.” Her smile grew, showing her sharp
white teeth, and I whipped my head around to him as he picked it up. “Which
finger?” I held my right hand up and flipped him off. He laughed and slid it
on. “That’s a great way to say thank you.”
“Thank you,” I said. And I meant it. It was beautiful. He shrugged and
offered me his arm again.
“To answer your question more seriously,” he said as I eyed all the
trinkets and crafts. “It does, in fact, help that I know you’re strong enough to
take care of yourself. But it’s also nice to get out of my court and my worries
for a few days. I know Emric is keeping an eye on things. This is a vacation
for me, too.”
“I get that.” We walked up to a small red cart with a male shoving warm
sugared pecans into bags. Asher bought a bag and handed it to me after he
took a few in his palm.
“Can I ask you something personal?” I shoved a couple of pecans in my
mouth and looked up at him.
“I’m surprised you even asked permission.”
I rolled my eyes and groaned. Those pecans were a small piece of heaven.
 “I know you told me about your tattoos to scare me.” I felt him stiffen
under my grip, but I pushed on. “But you didn’t tell me the reason behind
them all. The reason you had to do what you did. Because I think that maybe
there was a reason behind each of them. Maybe it’s not the most moral
reason, but I have a hard time believing you murdered people for fun.”
He sighed. “A couple centuries ago, there was a war. And I fought in it.”
He took a breath. “And I was good at it. The monster that Theron had created
inside of me reared its ugly head. I fought alongside my family, my real
family. But any blood relative I had left perished in that war. So that’s how I
got my title, through bloodshed and loss.” Each sentence came out short and
clipped. Like he couldn’t get it out of his mouth quickly enough. I looked at
each stall we passed, but I wasn’t really seeing anything.
“What was the war fought over?”
He gave a harsh laugh. “What is any war fought over? Egos and
territory.” I nodded. “Each tattoo is a symbol for a life I took fighting for
another male’s stupidity and fragile masculinity. I was young and hotheaded,
and my monster ran wild then. I had no control over it. I took more lives than
were necessary in the bloodshed.” I gave his forearm a quick squeeze, but he
was off in his own thoughts, his shadows more restless now.
“Let’s get some hot chocolate,” I said, trying to pull him back. I could see
him try to mentally shake off the past I had brought back front and center. He
smiled and pulled me in the direction of the hot chocolate.
“Don’t ruin your dinner,” he said as he handed me a steaming cup.
“Whoa,” I groaned, taking a sip. “This is the most amazing thing I have
ever tasted in my entire life.” He smiled down at me, one of the rare smiles
that actually reached his grey eyes, making them crinkle slightly at the sides.
We spent a couple of hours at the markets, Asher buying me way too
many things. When we left, both of his arms were laden with bags that were
filled with clothes, jewelry, and too many different flavors of fudge to count.
My own hands were full with more hot chocolate and sugared pecans to
snack on until dinner. When we reached the tree line, we stayed on the forest
floor, following the bridges above us to our own treehouse.
“I honestly don’t know where you put it all,” he said as I shoved another
handful of pecans into my mouth. I looked at him with my eyebrows
scrunched together and then down at my body and then back to him.
“Have you seen me?” I asked, knowing I was not a dainty flower. I was
not that tiny blonde from last night. I had curves and a belly under this dress.
His wings flared out from his back so suddenly that the gust of wind nearly
knocked me down. He not so gently nudged me with one. “What?” I asked,
regaining my balance. He rolled his eyes.
“Hold on to your snacks, little duck,” he said and scooped me up into his
arms. We were off the ground without another warning and landing at our
front door above us. I opened the door for him and let him sit down my
spoils. I grinned and thanked him again for everything he got me.
“You’re welcome. With everything I may have put you through in the last
few weeks, you probably deserve to be spoiled a little bit,” he said, pouring
himself a glass of whiskey. I sorted through the bags and pulled out all the
new things I wanted to wear tonight for dinner and started back down the
hallway.
“And Alyssandra?”
“Hm?” I asked, turning around.
“I never want to hear you talk about your body like that again.” He threw
back the whiskey in one go and poured himself another. I nodded, even
though he wasn’t looking at me. Lost for words, I turned and walked back to
the room, the dust on my shoulder flaring with heat I tried to ignore.
 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I had butterflies in my stomach. Being out of the Night Court had Asher and
me in our own little world. He didn’t have any responsibilities weighing over
his head, and I was experiencing a whole new world for the first time. I had
taken a nap after we got back from shopping before I had to get ready, and he
came in to wake me up with a cup of coffee after his bath. His hair was still
dripping down the thick column of his neck, and I followed each drop like I
was parched.
As I looked at myself in the mirror after an hour of getting ready, I was
excited and confident. I was wearing a spaghetti-strap dress that was black
with an ivy-like design laid over it in the same silver color as my starlight
necklace. It seemed to move and dance over the fabric. It hugged my body
but was loose enough you couldn’t see the dagger tucked tightly against my
thigh. My opal ring Asher had purchased for me hadn’t left my finger since
he placed it there.
“I went out and got you something while you were sleeping.”
I jumped at his voice and blushed at being caught staring at myself in the
floor-length mirror. He was dressed in all black again, but tonight he was
missing a tie, and the top two buttons of his shirt were undone, allowing the
designs of his tattoos to poke out.
“I think you’ve bought me enough today,” I said as he walked closer,
both hands behind his back. He walked behind me, and we locked eyes in the
mirror. He slowly brought a solid black tiara over the crown of my head and
placed it gently in my hair. It was covered in jagged black quartz and small
smooth pieces of onyx. It was beautiful, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
“If you’re going to pretend to be my arm candy, you’re going to look
damn powerful doing it.” He turned me around to face him and pushed my
chin up. “Just because you’re here under those pretenses doesn’t mean you
have to be meek and quiet. I think you know by now that’s not really my
style, little duck.”
I smiled and held my chin up high as I turned around and adjusted the
tiara tighter against my hair. “We’re staying to dance tonight,” I said as a
challenge, and I met his eyes in the mirror. A smirk played across his lips, but
he agreed.
“Should be interesting seeing as our dances are sure to be different from
yours.”
I paled. All I could imagine were the dances I saw in period films where
they barely touched and had very specific steps to go by. Twerking probably
wasn’t going to be their dance of choice. When he saw my ghostly face
staring at him, he laughed.
“Don’t worry, I can lead you through it. They won’t even know.” He
winked and pulled my hair off my shoulders and to the nape of my neck,
letting it fall down my back.
“Just don’t let me fall. That would be mortifying,” I said as I followed
him out of the cabin. He snorted and picked me up, his magic keeping us
warm against the chill. I clung to his neck and pushed my face into his
shoulder, hoping I wouldn’t smear red lipstick all over the fabric. I still
wasn’t used to flying long distances, and my stomach dropped as he made his
way above the trees. I was never a fan of heights. I could feel my legs clench
together at the thought of falling.
“Relax, Alys,” he whispered in my ear. I reluctantly released my death
grip and peeked over his shoulder. We were going at a leisurely pace, and the
large pine trees beneath us looked black in the setting sun. The feathers of his
wings fluttered in the wind and shone blue in the dusky light. I looked up at
him and watched his side profile.
Gods, he was beautiful. I mentally traced each sharp angle of his face
before my attention snagged on his lips. I let that familiar warmth spread
through my body and settle low in my stomach. His nostrils flared, and he
looked at me. His eyes darkened and met mine. I smirked, daring him to say
anything. Before he could, I held on to my tiara and tilted my head back,
letting the wind tousle my hair, and laughed into the open air.
 “Hold on, my little wildling,” he murmured into my hair and then angled
down. My stomach dropped again, but instead of being afraid, I trusted him
and let myself enjoy the experience, smiling the entire way down.
We landed in an alley, and he barely let my feet touch the ground before
he backed me up against the wall of the building. He grabbed both sides of
my face and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. His emotions flooded my
system, making my vision blurry with a need I had never experienced before.
My breath caught in my throat.
He wants me.
I leaned into his want that he was letting pour into me and locked my eyes
on his. They were the color of the smoky quartz on my tiara and burned into
mine. His wings encased us against the wall, and his jasmine-scented
shadows danced playfully over my skin. That warmth in my stomach broke
into a wildfire and made my knees weak, but his body was flush against
mine, holding me up. His nostrils flared again as he leaned closer, running his
nose up the side of my throat, breathing me in.
His hands fell to the fabric at my waist, and he curled it in his fists,
pulling me even closer against him. I tilted my head back until it hit the wall
behind me, giving him access to my neck. The mark he left on my body
flared to life under his breath, and all mine left me as I felt his lips skim his
dust.
“I can smell myself on you,” he whispered against my skin. “You can feel
what I’m feeling now, can’t you?” I swallowed but didn’t answer. I felt a
sharp pain on my shoulder.
“The fuck?” I pushed him away and saw blood on his smirking lips. His
wings snapped away, but his shadows stretched out, still clinging to me. “Did
you just bite me?” My hand went to my shoulder and came away with fresh
blood on it. But I could feel it healing and closing up already. He grabbed my
wrist, and that need assaulted me again. I groaned against it, trying to fight it
with my anger.
He fucking bit me.
He took a step closer and brought my fingers one by one to his lips and
licked the blood off each one. If I hadn’t been so angry at him for biting me, I
would’ve been a puddle of goo at his feet for how he was making me feel.
“Mm,” he purred against my hand. “You even taste like chocolate.”
I ripped my hand out of his and, with speed I didn’t have a week ago,
grabbed the dagger from under my dress, and pressed it harshly against his
throat. “I will use this dagger on you, High Lord. Don’t push me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you can feel my emotions now, little duck?”
He pushed into the blade a little more, and I rolled my eyes. I sheathed it
back under my skirts.
“Because,” I said, grabbing onto his arm and leading us out of the
alleyway, “I didn’t want you to be afraid of what I could do with it. You’d
keep your distance, and I need you to trust me.” He moved his arm and linked
our hands together, our fingers interwoven. We stopped outside the door,
letting others pass us and go inside.
“Do you feel anything in me that says I can stay away from you?”
I met his eyes and sifted through his emotions like folders in a filing
cabinet. His usual sadness and anguish was still there, but the wantedness I
felt just a few minutes ago was so strong it plowed over everything else.
“No.” I took a breath. “I don’t think so, at least. You’ve got a lot going on
in there.”
He smiled, and with his free hand, he pushed my hair over my shoulder.
His lips touched my shoulder where the bite mark had now fully healed.
“Good. Let’s go eat, then.” He led me inside without letting go of my
hand, trusting me with every single fleeting emotion that flowed through him.
As we found our seats, I could tell that Asher holding my hand made a
much bigger statement than me being on his arm. This looked way more
intimate, and it did not go unnoticed. Asher pulled my chair out for me as we
took our places at the same table as the night before. Leona was already there,
her eyes locked on Asher’s impressive frame as he settled in next to her. I
couldn’t blame her. He was perfect. But the jealousy it caused me to feel was
overwhelming.
“Try not to break it this time,” he said loud enough for others to hear as I
poured his wine.
“Try not to piss me off this time.” He laughed and filled both of our
plates with food.
I downed my entire glass of wine and then poured myself another and
began nursing that one. When Leona grabbed his attention away from me, the
darkness that hid itself just under the surface came rushing up again. My
hands shook at the raw power it brought along with it, but I took deep breaths
and tried to focus on eating. I sat on my left hand, keeping it safely tucked
away while my right pushed food into my mouth at an alarming rate. I was
just trying to keep myself from falling apart and breaking the entire table.
 When Leona finally had to take a breath, Asher turned his attention
towards me and grabbed my hand out from under my thigh. It tingled with
the loss of blood. When I turned towards him, mouth still full with food, he
poked my cheek playfully with his other hand and then began eating. He
lightly massaged my hand until it didn’t look like it was going to fall off my
arm anymore.
The darkness ebbed but didn’t disappear, and I wondered if he could feel
it or sense it. I wondered if he knew why it made itself known when I wasn’t
the one receiving his attention. I had to remind myself that just because I
knew he wanted me didn’t mean I had any sort of claim to his affections or
his attention. That was a role I was very much used to. Tom had made me
very well acquainted with fleeting touches and smiles just for me. And also
the distance that came after it. I was used to taking what I could get and being
happy with it.
“That’s a lovely little tiara she has there,” Leona said, begging for
Asher’s attention to be returned to her. I downed the rest of my glass of wine
before leaning in front of Asher to get a good look at Blondie.
“Who’s she? The cat’s mother?” Asher snorted. “My name is Lyssa. And
thank you for the compliment.” I sat back in my chair. “Asher surprised me
with it.” He smirked and gave my hand a small squeeze as he filled my glass
again.
I threw that one back as well, and the room tilted a bit. I could feel a few
people at the table gawking at me, but it was hard to care when the alternative
was to listen to the darkness and slam her head into the table until it cracked.
Her head or the table, it didn’t really matter.
Everyone finished their meals while making small talk and avoiding eye
contact with me. Once people began to finish and filter out, I leaned over to
Asher and rested my chin on his shoulder.
“I’m going to go get some fresh air.”
“Someone is feeling tipsy,” he said, pushing strands of hair out of my
face. “I don’t like the idea of you being out of sight,” he whispered for only
me to hear. “I’ll go with you.”
“I’ll be right outside the door. I just need a minute to sober up.”
He reluctantly nodded and let go of my hand as I stood and made my way
on wobbly legs to the door. I couldn’t feel how cold it actually was thanks to
the alcohol coursing its way through my veins. I turned to my right and saw
Zemira leaning against the wall, smiling in my direction.
 “High Lady,” I said and stumbled into a shallow curtsey. She laughed
softly and patted the wall next to her. I leaned my back up against it and took
a deep breath.
“Hello there, Alyssandra,” she said in a low voice. It took me a couple of
heartbeats before I jerked my head towards her. She had called me by my real
name. She knew who I was. Lead filled my stomach, and I knew she could
see fear in my eyes.
Kill her. Kill her. Kill her.
I pushed back at the sliver of darkness creeping into my thoughts.
Zemira laughed.
“I mean you no harm, and I’m not going to tell anyone,” she said as she
lifted her eyes to the night sky. I felt like I could breathe again. “How stupid
does Asher think I am?” Her smile grew wide then. “Rumors were circulating
between the High Fae about a little human girl Theron was searching for.
And then we hear she gets swept out from under his nose, supposedly by the
High Lord of the Night Court himself. When Asher showed up here, a pretty
woman on his arm…” She trailed off. “I love Asher like a brother, but he can
be such an idiot sometimes.” She sighed and looked back at me. “It seems
you’re not human any longer, though.”
I met her eyes and sighed. “That’s a long story.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I have nothing but time.”
 CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I stared at her for a moment, weighing my options. I was torn between

keeping the past few weeks a secret and letting it all tumble out of me like a
high schooler with hot gossip. I hadn’t had a friend to confide in in so long
that my brain was begging for me to explain everything. But I had no idea if
she was actually a friend.
“You’re going to need an ally in your corner, Alyssandra. You and Asher
both will. I’ve always been there for him. I can be there for you, too.” She
turned so that she was facing me and leaned her shoulder against the wall.
Her hand reached out and touched my forearm in a comforting gesture, but
the second her skin made contact with mine, I could feel her sincerity. Her
affection for Asher made my heart swell.
So, I told her.
I started from the beginning, that night in the bar, and took her through
my day-to-day life at his court. I explained how Emric taught me how to fight
and trained me to make me stronger. I told her about the night I changed, and
I even told her about Nyxa. I unloaded everything so quickly, partly thanks to
the alcohol, I was sure, that I was afraid she hadn’t been able to take it all in.
When I finished, she was quiet and took a moment to digest everything I
had told her. When she started to respond, her mouth snapped shut, and I felt
more than heard Asher walk out of the door behind me. I knew when his eyes
landed on me, and I looked at him over my shoulder.
“There you are,” he said, swinging both of his arms over my shoulders
and crossing them over my chest. He was doing a good job of keeping up the
plaything act.
“How dumb do you think I am?” She reached up and smacked him across
the head. I snorted very loudly and turned around in his arms to see his face.
It was worth it. “I know who she is. And I’m on your side, so if you need
help, ask for it.” When she walked past us, Asher still speechless, and she
gave me a pointed look. “Keep him in line, Lyssa.” And then she walked off
in the direction of where the music was coming from.
“I’m still tipsy,” I stated matter-of-factly. “And I would like to dance.” I
wrapped my arms around his waist and soaked up his warmth. He looked
down at me and finally closed his mouth.
“Did she just hit me, or did I hallucinate?”
I smiled. “I like her. Now take me dancing.”

The building where the dancing was happening was a few doors down, and
music and laughter poured out of it. When we walked in, low golden light
and heat from all the bodies moving on the dance floor wrapped itself around
me. I turned around and gave him a hard stare.
“Very funny,” I said over the music. “Complicated dancing? Looks like
everyone is just grinding on each other. Did you think it was funny to watch
me sweat it out?” He just laughed his warm, masculine laugh that sent shivers
across my body.
It was so familiar to going dancing back home that, even though I was in
a completely foreign world, I comfortably started to pull Asher with me to
the middle of the floor. I grabbed a glass of champagne off a server’s tray and
downed it, feeling heat rush to my face and my stomach churn with
butterflies as I sat it back down.
“I like seeing you like this.” I felt his breath across my cheek.
“Like what?” I asked as I pulled him closer to the throng of Fae dancing
in the dim candlelight.
“Happy.” A kiss was left on my neck. “Carefree.” And another.
“Drunk.” I cut him off with a laugh. His sudden intimacy had my legs
wobbling.
“It does bring a sinful blush to your cheeks,” he said as his hand left mine
and instead snaked around my waist. He pulled me close, and his shadows
twined themselves snug against my skin.
I knew I was drunk then because I leaned into him too easily and began to
move to the music as we finally crossed the threshold of the dance floor. The
beat of the music was slow and deep. I could feel it seep into my bones and
crawl across my skin. My arm bravely snaked up behind me to grab onto the
back of his neck. My fingers slid through the soft ends of his hair. The
alcohol made it hard to tell the difference between his emotions and my own.
So I gave up and let myself just feel. I leaned my head back against his chest
and moved against him while his arms prowled over my body in ways that
made a warmth pool low in my stomach.
“Incoming,” he singsonged into my ear, and I opened my eyes. They
landed directly on Leona, zooming in on her like she was prey. I was helpless
against the sliver of darkness making its way up, vibrating through my veins.
I smiled. She saw us, and her eyes went wide, but she kept coming. Had to
give her credit for her massive lady balls.
“Can I have my dance now?” She batted her pretty eyelashes. Asher kept
his arms wrapped around me, his shadows following suit and clinging on.
“He’s busy,” I said as I leaned even further back into him. He laughed
and sat his chin on top of my head, right in the middle of my tiara. Blondie
crossed her arms.
“I don’t think you speak for the High Lord of the Night Court, whore.” I
felt Asher stiffen behind me. The sheer power rolling off him in waves
should’ve been enough to send her running, but she acted like she couldn’t
feel it. I could, though. And maybe I should’ve been scared, but I wasn’t. The
darkness inside of me soaked his up like a sponge. I felt the smile creep
across my face, wide enough to show my fangs.
“I assure you,” I said, low and slow, “that in this instance, I do speak for
him. And I’d really hate to get blood on my dress tonight.” My power seemed
disappointed that I wasn’t going to act on impulse.
“It is a beautiful dress,” Asher said.
“Thank you. You did give it to me,” I said, looking back at him over my
shoulder. Our eyes met, and I got lost in the swirls of grey and blue before
peeling them back onto Blondie. Her eyes took on a fierce glint as she looked
back and forth between us.
“Are you going to let her speak to me like that?” Now the Fae close to us
were taking notice of the little scene she was causing.
“You’re lucky I’m letting you walk away in one piece after the way you
spoke to her. Do it again and you won’t.” He relaxed slightly and wrapped
his arms around me tightly. “Though, I would love to see Lyssa in action.”
She backed up through the crowd of Fae and disappeared, fuming, I was
sure. He spun me away from him as the music changed, and then he pulled
me back into him. I hit his hard body with a thunk as he caught me and held
me there, front to front. I laughed and tilted my head back, feeling my hair
slide off my shoulders and down my back. My power thrummed under my
skin, and I took a minute to revel in the sensation.
“I can feel your power coursing just under the surface,” he whispered in
my ear as we swayed slowly to the music. His fingertips drifted slowly down
my arms, causing gooseflesh to rise. “If you free that, you could light this
world on fire, Alys.”
I shushed him and spun out from him again, too drunk to care about what
he was saying. This time when he pulled me back, he held my back against
his chest. His hand crept up my side from my hip and over my ribs, his
fingertips grazing the side of my chest. My breath caught in my throat as his
hand made its way over my collarbone and around my neck.
He grabbed my jaw, his hand encompassing the entire thing, and forced
me to look back at him. The alcohol made my eyes lazy. They traveled
slowly up the length of his neck, over his sharp jaw covered in the smallest
amount of stubble, and up further still over his full lips until they finally
landed on his eyes. His thumb traced idle circles just below my ear where it
sat. I licked my lips and his eyes found them instantly. We stayed like that for
a while, the only two Fae standing in the middle of a dance floor not dancing.
He held me perfectly still.
“You’re doing a very good job of convincing everyone I’m actually your
plaything.”
Word vomit. Absolute word vomit just poured out of my mouth. I cursed
the alcohol. He sighed and dropped his hand. He pulled me over to the bar,
my drunken feet struggling to keep up in the heels I had worn. He picked me
up, sat me on the barstool, and leaned over me with his hands on the bar. I
flushed red again and not because of the alcohol.
“Can you stay out of trouble for two minutes while I go speak to
Zemira?” I nodded and drunkenly leaned towards him without realizing it.
His hand grazed the dagger at my thigh, and I bit my lip. “Alys,” he said as
he leaned closer, his voice rough. “You have this for a reason. Use it if you
have to.” I nodded again and wobbled on the stool when he disappeared into
the crowd.
I turned around and got the attention of the bartender.
“Shots!” I said when he finally came over to me. “Let’s see how many I
can do before the ball and chain gets back.”
He eyed me with one eyebrow lifted but sat some shot glasses down in
front of me. “What’s your poison?”
“Whiskey,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows. He laughed and poured three
of them full to the brim.
Turns out I was able to drink a total of six shots before Asher snuck up
behind me. I was well and truly sloshed by the time he showed up, and I was
laughing loudly at whatever it was the bartender had just said. Asher spun me
around, and I watched as the world tried to catch up with my body. I giggled
and hiccoughed.
The next thing I knew, I was thrown over his shoulder, and the whiskey
was not liking the sudden movement.
“Everyone is upside down.” He swung me back into his arms. “Well, this
feels familiar,” I said, waiting for my head to stop spinning. “At least I
haven’t been beat to shit this time.”
He laughed and pushed us through the door into the snow. I let my head
loll back, keeping a grip only my tiara, and tried to catch some flakes on my
tongue.
“You’re drunk.”
I looked back to his face. “Thanks, Captain Obvious,” I slurred and
laughed at my own joke. “Your face is so pretty,” I said, stroking a finger
down his cheek. His jaw ticked, and his wings unfurled on either side of him.
“So are they.” Before I could stop myself, I reached over his shoulder and ran
my fingers across the slick feathers. They felt like the softest silk.
“Alys,” he growled. But I ignored him and pushed my entire open palm
against the flat underside of his wing. He shot into the air, and while my left
hand gripped onto his neck, my right hand that had been touching his wing
grabbed onto the hard spine of it instinctively. “Shit, Alys,” he groaned into
my ear. I let go and held on to his neck with both hands, suddenly much more
sober.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t ready!” He breathed heavily through his nose as the
air whooshed around us. “What does it feel like?” I asked as my fingers
drifted back to where they came out of his back. A very long minute passed
in painful silence as my fingertips grazed their softness again.
 He groaned again and shifted me so that I was straddling his waist, my
dress riding up to my thighs and his hands gripping me against him in
dangerous places. If it weren’t for the layer of fabric under his hands, I knew
he’d be able to feel how much I wanted him. My arms were around his neck,
trying to keep me from falling, and I buried my face in his neck.
“Some warning would be nice!” I hissed.
“You asked what it felt like,” he whispered into my ear. The deep tenor of
his voice had me shamelessly pulling myself closer to his body.
“Yes,” I whispered back.
“Kind of like this,” he said as he trailed light kisses from just below my
ear all the way down my neck. He went painfully slow, his breath warm in
between each kiss. When he reached my shoulder, he nudged my head to the
side, and I relaxed, giving his mouth more access to my skin. My breath was
coming short and fast now as my magick hummed through my veins, begging
for a release. Was I imagining what was happening? Was the alcohol turning
this into more than it actually was?
“Mm, there’s that power again,” he said, and then with the tip of his
tongue, he left a trail of flame back up to my jaw where he nipped me with a
fang. “Am I the catalyst to that raw magick, Alys?” A whimper escaped my
lips, and his throaty laughter that followed lit my blood on fire. I had to
actively try to not move against him as my sensible side fought against my
drunken side. He pulled his mouth away, and I opened my eyes to find his as
we landed in front of our cabin.
I wiggled, and with another groan, he let me slide down. I quickly pushed
through the door and into the warm living room of our cabin as I saw him
adjust himself out of the corner of my eye. I smirked and headed straight for
the bar in the corner and poured us a couple of drinks. His shadows, even
though we were across the room from each other, still reached out from him
and clung to me. I had a feeling I was going to need that drink.
 CHAPTER NINETEEN

“What did Zemira have to say?” I asked as I turned around and offered him a
glass. He stalked over to me, and I watched the thick column of his throat
move as he downed the entire glass.
“I don’t want to talk about Zemira right now,” he said, sitting the glass
down on the bar behind me.
“Oh?” I looked anywhere but his face as I tried to finish my glass as well,
but my stomach wasn’t going to let that happen. He took the glass from my
hand.
“If you drink any more, you’re going to really regret it tomorrow.” If I
had been in this situation with Tom, I would’ve jumped at the chance to take
him to bed. But he had never looked at me the way Asher had been these past
couple of days. I hadn’t ever felt this strong of a connection with Tom either.
What I was feeling for Asher went much deeper than what I had felt with
anyone else. It was like the magick and dark power that was inside me ever
since I changed called to the darkness within him.
“Where’d you go, Alys?” he asked as he gently took my face in his
hands. I looked up at him and met his gaze.
“Do you still see Theron when you look at me?” Liquid courage was the
only reason I was able to get that out. He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs,
and a sad smile crossed his beautiful mouth.
“No, Alys. I never should have said that to you. His eyes hold darkness
and evil. But yours,” he said with a sigh, “are shining citrine. They hold
happiness and life, and I get lost in them every time I look at you.”
 The breath was knocked out of me at his words. My heart swelled, and I
couldn’t stop the hope from blooming in my chest. My fingers curled into the
bar behind me painfully.
“Then why say it?”
His hands tangled themselves in my hair. “I wanted to be the villain in
your story. Part of me still wants to be the villain.” He took a breath. “I
thought it would keep you safe, Alys, because everything I love gets taken
away from me. And if he finds out you’re mine, he will increase his efforts
tenfold, and I cannot stand the thought of losing you. I don’t want this life for
you.” He lowered his head and pressed his forehead against mine. I reached
up and held his hands in mine while they rested around my neck.
“You’re not a villain,” I whispered. “You’re not my villain. You saved
me, Asher. You gave me a world I never even dreamed of. I want this life for
me.”
He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, searching mine. “Alys, you
were mine the moment I saw you lying broken on that bathroom floor,” he
said in a low voice, and it sank right to my core. Our emotions mixed
together, fogging my brain with heady desire. “I am the Night, and I would
swallow this world whole before I let anyone take you from me.”
His lips gently brushed against mine as he held my gaze. I sighed into
him and let my eyes flutter closed. I opened my mouth to him. Our tongues
brushed against each other, and he swallowed the moan that escaped my
mouth. He tasted like whiskey and honey, and I couldn’t get enough. I kissed
him like I was starved for him. He tugged lightly at my bottom lip and broke
the kiss, panting. I stumbled forward at the sudden absence of him.
“Don’t look at me like that, Alyssandra.” He leaned away from my face
and started gathering the fabric of my dress in his hands, bunching it up at my
thighs.
“Like what?” I held on to the bar behind me to keep my knees from
giving out.
“Like you’re worried I’m going to stop.” He slowly lifted the fabric up.
“Arms up, little duck.” He pulled the dress up and over my head, leaving me
in the black slip I wore underneath, which barely came below my butt, and
my heels. “I am putty in your hands, princess. I will never be able to stop
unless you want me to.”
“I don’t want you to,” I said when I found my words. I reached up with
trembling hands and slid the jacket off his body, letting my hands run across
every muscle in his arms. He threw it on the chair behind him as I started to
work on the buttons down his shirt. It took me much longer with my nerves
and the alcohol blurring my vision, but he was patient and just watched me,
playing with my hair the entire time.
When I was finally able to push that off him, I let my hands wander over
the hard planes of his chest and down further over his stomach, taking my
time to follow the design of his tattoos. In the firelight, the blues and silvers
in his skin glowed warm, and I watched as it moved under my touch.
I kicked my heels off, and he gripped me under my butt and picked me
up. I wrapped my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. My
mouth found his with ease, and I was lost. Kissing him was like finding the
other piece of myself that I didn’t know was missing. He pushed through the
bedroom door and put me down. I reached up to take the tiara off, but he
grabbed my wrist.
“Leave it on,” his voice rumbled, and he backed me up against the wall.
He knelt in front of me and ran his hands so slowly up my legs it felt like the
sweetest torture. “I love these,” he said as he squeezed my thighs. His
fingertips found the lacy edges of my thong and began to pull it off. I gasped
at the nerves churning in my stomach. He had lived for hundreds of years,
and here he was on his knees in front of me.
“Hey,” he said, pausing. “Is this okay?”
I smiled and ran my hands through his hair. “Yes,” I said through a small
laugh. He pulled it down and helped me step out of it before he shoved the
flimsy fabric in his back pocket.
“These are mine now,” he said with a wicked grin before he leaned
forward and threw one of my legs over his shoulder, placing kisses across my
inner thigh, nibbling on the skin around the sheath holding the dagger.
“You’re so beautiful.”
My brain was on overdrive. The man that had been so cold and distant
was nowhere to be seen when I looked down at him now. His normally icy
eyes were filled with warmth and want. He smiled up at me, showing off his
beautifully white teeth as he scratched his fangs down the sensitive part of
my thigh. My breath hitched, and I leaned my head back against the wall,
closing my eyes and pressing my hands flat against the wall. I had never felt
anything like this. His mouth left me feeling scorched and needing. His
shadows, in stark comparison, were cold and floated over my skin, clinging
on like they couldn’t get enough.
 “Look at me, Alys,” he said, his voice deep and rough. I reluctantly
opened my eyes and found his, not used to the intimacy he was asking for. “I
want to see the pleasure on your face when I taste you for the first time.” My
lips parted, and my breath was coming fast and uneven.
He held my gaze as his mouth closed around me, sucking the little bundle
of nerves into his mouth. My hands flew back to his hair, tangling in the soft
stands there and tugging him closer to me. My world tilted, and the sweetest
pleasure coursed through every inch of my body, making my limbs weak. His
name escaped my lips in the faintest whisper, but it was all the
encouragement he needed.
He growled into me, and it vibrated through my body as he grabbed my
other leg and threw it over his shoulder. He pushed me further into the wall
and held me there on his shoulders, completely at his mercy. He devoured me
like he was starved for the taste of me. The sight of his face between my
thighs was almost enough to send me over the edge. And when his hand
snaked underneath me and he pushed a finger into my wetness, curling it
deliciously, I broke around him, splintering into a thousand pieces as I
moaned his name.
His movements were languid as I came down from the high. He let my
legs slip gently from his shoulders, and I pressed my hands into his shoulders
to keep myself upright. His hands found my thighs and gripped them again as
he licked me off his lips.
“You taste like the sweetest starlight,” he said breathlessly and began to
lift my slip from my body while he stood up. He towered over me again, and
I was naked in front of him other than my bra, and I silently thanked the Gods
I had decided to wear a pretty one. There was an emptiness low in my core
that begged for him, and I reached for his pants, trying to untie them and get
them out of my way. I pushed them down and stared at him in all of his glory
as he stepped out of them. His boxer briefs were black and hugged tightly
against his very impressive hardness.
My hand found it, and he leaned over me, both of his hands braced
against the wall. His eyes closed, and his mouth was in a tight line, nostrils
flaring slightly as he tried to breathe evenly. It sent a shock through me to see
what I could do to him, how I could make him feel.
He grabbed my mouth with his, and it was a clash of lips, teeth, and
tongues. I could taste myself on him. His hand found my throat, and he
pinned me against the wall with it, squeezing just enough to make me feel it.
He took my hand off him and pushed his entire body flush with mine.
“Tonight is about you, princess. Just let me feel you.” He sucked my lip
into his mouth and bit until I tasted blood. I groaned into his moving hips and
struggled to try and push his last bit of clothing from his hips. He reached
behind me, and with a flick of his fingers, my bra fell from my chest. His
knuckles grazed the hard peaks there, eliciting another whimper from my
mouth.
“Fuck, Alys,” he moaned into my mouth. “I love the way your body
responds to me.” He finally relented and pushed his boxers down and stepped
out of them. I stared shamelessly at him, following his tattoos down over his
hips where they stopped at the top of his thighs. Asher let me take every inch
of him in, and I licked my lips in anticipation. His patience ran out as he bent
down and scooped me up.
Once we got close to the bed, he threw me down onto it, and I bounced
once before he was on top of me, his wings out now in all their dark glory,
kissing every square inch of skin his lips could find. His kisses were frantic.
He left a trail of heat from my swollen lips to my nipple where he sucked it
into his mouth and teased it with his teeth before doing the exact same to the
other. I pushed my hips up and into him, begging to feel him inside of me.
“Asher,” I pleaded, gripping and pulling his hair tightly in between my
fingers. He looked up at me, his lips wet and a grin spread across them. He
grabbed himself and teased me, sliding up and down before slowly pushing
in. I moaned and arched my back, digging my nails into his shoulders. My
head pushed into the bed behind me, and he suddenly stopped and grabbed
my jaw in a bruising grip.
“Eyes on me, little duck,” he said and squeezed until I looked up at him.
“Good girl.” In one sinful push, he was inside of me, stretching me and filling
me up.
He paused there, hovering his face over mine, making me be patient and
feel every hard inch of him. I pushed my fingers through the feathers on his
wings, and he buried his face in my neck before pulling out and slamming
back into me with so much force I thought I’d see stars.
I continued my assault on his wings, moving in and out and gripping their
hard spines. With every thrust inside of me, he touched new places I didn’t
know existed. Warmth pooled in my core as he hit every nerve ending in just
the right spot. When the familiar tingling started deep in my belly, his wings
disappeared, and he flipped us over, him sitting up on the side of the bed and
my knees on either side of his thighs.
“Bring your wings out for me.” His fingers dug into my hips, making me
move in circles against him. I closed my eyes and brought them out,
stretching them like tight muscles. “Take what you need from me, Alys.”
And I did exactly that, taking the pleasure I wanted from him. I moved
slowly on top of him, grinding him deeper inside of me. His hands found my
wings and stroked them softly from top to bottom. Pleasure rocked through
every part of my body, and I moved harder and faster against him.
“Oh, my God,” I murmured as I found his eyes and held them as the
pressure between my thighs built. My magick pulsed along with it, just under
the surface, and just as I broke, shattering around him into a million little
pieces, my magick flew out of me and shook the entire room. Our eyes never
left each other’s, and just as I was coming down, he caught my lips in his and
groaned into his release. He planted sweet kisses all over my face and then
cradled me against his chest as I tried to catch my breath.
After a few minutes, he kissed the top of my head and brought my face
even with his. He pushed strands of hair off my cheeks, damp with sweat, and
out of my face.
“You are beautiful,” he said, kissing the pulse point below my ear. “Your
power is beautiful.” He kissed along my jaw. “Your eyes glowed a brilliant
warm glow, just like Nyxa’s. It was magnificent. My own personal Goddess.”
He kissed my cheeks and finally claimed my mouth. Too tired and satiated to
worry about the fact that my eyes had fucking glowed, I sighed into his
mouth. He unlatched the dagger from my thigh and sat my tiara on the table
next to the bed. His fingers gently unclasped the necklace and sat it next to
the tiara.
He stood up and carried me to the bathroom, still inside of me. I lay
quietly against his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him and twirling my
fingers through his shadows. My wings hung limp from my back, and it took
everything in me to magick them away before we made it inside. He snapped
his fingers, and the bath was full and steaming. He lowered us slowly down
into the warm water and eased himself out of me. My muscles melted, and
my eyes were so heavy I could barely keep them open.
“Rest, princess,” he said as he began to wet my hair. “I’ll take care of
you.” My eyes closed and darkness found me.
 CHAPTER TWENTY

I awoke to the sun shining in through the wall of windows, and surprisingly,
my head wasn’t pounding. Asher’s and my limbs were tangled together, and
my head was tucked into his chest. I breathed in the sweet smell of him and
ran my hands up his back as I looked up at his sleeping face. His face was
relaxed, lips slightly parted while he breathed evenly in sleep. The shadows
encased us both and lay still against our skin. I reached up and pushed the
stray strands of his midnight hair back out of his eyes.
“I was thinking about teaching you how to fly today, but if you keep
looking at me like that, we won’t leave this bed.”
I smiled wide. “I thought no one could see my wings?” I asked between
the kisses I planted along his jawline.
“Zemira, after scolding me for not teaching you how to use them and
your powers, told me I could take you into the mountains to teach you
today.” He finally opened his eyes and lazily stroked my hair.
“My eyes glowed last night.” It was a statement and a question, and my
cheeks burned at the memory. I buried my face in my hands.
“They did,” he said with a small laugh. He peeled my hands away from
my face. “All magick, all power is different. You have parts of Nyxa in you.
It’s really not a surprise that your power would mimic hers.” I watched him
stretch and stand up out of the bed. His shadows lingered on my body, letting
me see more of him in all his naked glory. “I’ll go get you some coffee, and
when I get back, we’ll head out.”
I nodded and sat up, holding the sheet over my chest, and watched as the
shadows that lingered stayed with me as he got dressed and left. I held out
my arms and watched as they danced over my skin.
“Do you lot not need to go with him?” They curled tighter around me, so
I shrugged and crawled out of bed to get dressed. Mavka had packed a few
pants and shirts that would work much better than a dress.
I knew when he came back because the shadows around me began to pull
towards the door, and his leaked down the hallway towards me, mingling
together. After tying my boots up, I gave them what they wanted and walked
out to the front room, grabbing my coffee out of his hands.
“Thank you,” I said as he kissed my hair. “Some of your shadows stayed
behind with me.”
“I saw that. They must find you somewhat tolerable as well.” I gave him
a pointed look, and he planted kisses across my frown.
“Take me to the mountains so that I can kick your ass in this flying
lesson.”
He chuckled and picked me up. “Brat,” he said. I punched him in his
chest as he took off in the air.

“I am not jumping off of that cliff, Asher!” I was yelling, but we had traveled
out in the middle of nowhere, so I wasn’t concerned someone could hear me.
“Can’t we just start off by having me flap them a few times?” My wings were
out but tucked tightly against my back.
“If you do that, you’ll just end up falling on your ass. Go ahead. Give it a
shot.”
I shot daggers with my eyes but rolled my neck and stretched my
membranous wings out to each side and then gave a hard thrust. I was pushed
backwards and landed flat on my butt. Asher was hiding his mouth behind his
hand, but I could still see him laughing.
“Fine,” I said as I stood up and dusted the snow off my pants. “But if you
let me fall and die, I will haunt your ass.” I walked over to the edge, and he
followed me.
“I’ll fly down a bit and wait there to catch you in case you don’t get the
hang of it. I really think it’s going to come naturally to you. You’ll be fine.”
With a mock salute, he leaned back and fell off the edge of the cliff. I crossed
my arms and peered over at him.
“Show-off!” I shouted against the wind. He hovered out in the air, his
wings pushing him up and side to side as he waited for me. Heights was
another fear of mine. My knees would even get weak when I watched
Spiderman swinging from rooftop to rooftop on a TV screen.
But Asher was waiting out there, and this was a new life. I had wings, and
I needed to learn how to use them. I’d rather learn how to use them when I
knew he’d be there to catch me instead of when I needed to use them and
could end up crashing down.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could feel him out there,
patiently waiting, giving me the time I needed to work up this amount of
courage.
“On the count of three!” I yelled into the abyss.
“One!” His voice rang out in my ears.
“Two,” I whispered back. But I knew he heard me. My fists clenched and
unclenched.
“Three. Go.” The authority in his voice had me running. I leapt off the
edge, and my arms and legs involuntarily swung in circles, trying to keep me
up like treading water. My stomach dropped as I dropped, dead weight flying
through the air towards Asher like a rock. “Wings, Alys!”
I mentally kicked myself before stretching them out, forcing them to open
in the wind soaring past me. I gritted my teeth, and my nails bit into my
palms. But I slowed, and the wind banked me left at neck-breaking speed,
whipping pieces of my hair out of its knot.
“Move them with where the wind is trying to take you!”
“Fuck!” I swore and moved them as best I could to try and make them
take me back towards Asher. I didn’t need to push as hard as I thought I did.
Once I relaxed a bit and leaned into where I wanted to go, they listened, and I
could finally take a moment to enjoy what was happening.
My stomach still dropped when I looked down and my knees felt a little
fuzzy, but the view was beautiful. Snow-covered peaks pushed up into the
winter sky, and thousands of evergreens below us were blanketed in the stuff,
glittering in the midday sun. I soared around in circles, leaning this way and
that, trying to get the feel of how they needed to be used. I breathed in the icy
air and knew I could get used to this. Asher swooped in, taking me off guard,
and collided with my body, grabbing me around my waist.
“Give them a rest or you’re going to be really, really sore tomorrow.”
 I smiled wide, unable to help myself, and tucked my wings back against
me as he dipped and swerved us through the sky.
“That was amazing.”
He pulled my hair down and watched it blow in the breeze before running
his thumb across my cheek. I felt my face flush at the intensity in his blue
eyes. He smiled.
“I love it when your cheeks blush.”
He kissed me. His lips were a feather against mine, and I was the one that
pushed harder, asking for more. My arms wrapped themselves around his
neck, and my legs did the same around his waist. He growled and forced my
mouth open to his. Suddenly we were on solid ground, and he pushed me up
against a tree. Both of our wings wrapped around us, rubbing up against
themselves.
I moaned and rolled my hips into his hardness. Electricity shot through
my core. I could feel every ounce of desire that scorched his veins. His hand
was rough as it pushed its way under my jacket and shirt and found my
breast. I leaned my head back against the tree and sighed, granting him access
to my neck, which he immediately took. We were like two horny teenagers,
grabbing at each other like it was our first time.
We were a tangle of limbs and mouths. I laughed while his hands dropped
their assault down to my hips and butt. I grabbed his face and brought his lips
back to mine. I would never get sick of the way he tasted or the way he
kissed me. He put me down on my feet and turned me so that I was pushed
up against the roughness of the bark. His face nuzzled into my wings, causing
me to rub my thighs together to try and quell that insistent pulse there.
I pushed my butt back into him, trying to find him. His hands stilled me
and slowly pushed my pants down to my knees, and cold air licked at my
skin. His arms snaked around my waist, and he cupped me, pressing the heel
of his palm into the apex between my thighs. I moaned, and my legs
would’ve given out had he not been holding me up. A finger slipped inside. I
was heated and soaked for him.
“So wet for me, little duck,” he purred in my ear. He pulled his hand
away, and I looked back at him to beg for him to touch me, but the second
our eyes met, he was inside me. His eyes were clouded with lust, and I knew
he saw the same in mine. He pulled out slowly and then pushed back in with
one rough thrust. His hand found my throat, and he pulled me back against
him, swallowing my mouth with his.
 This was nothing like the night before. He was driven purely by his need
for me. His free hand cupped my breasts through the layers I wore and
pinched hard on my nipples. I arched back into the sensation and waited as
each harsh thrust pushed me closer to the edge.
“Look at me,” he said, his voice as rough as his body. I opened my eyes
and watched him watch me. When those same fingers trailed lower and
pinched the bundle of nerves at my core, the pressure built to a painful high.
“Asher,” I moaned, and he pulled my face away from his, opening my
neck up to him.
His mouth landed on my pulse point, and he bit down. The initial pain
where he drew blood mixed with the pleasure of his torturous thrusts forced
me to come apart around him. He sucked at my neck, and my release kept
coming with each pull his lips made at my neck until I felt tears start rolling
down my face. He groaned my name as he pushed his own release inside me
and relaxed his mouth’s hold on my neck.
I fell back against him, exhausted. I opened my eyes and saw in his that
they were shining brightly at him. I blinked a few times as he brushed the
tears off my cheeks.
“Did I hurt you, Alys?” His eyebrows were knitted together in genuine
worry.
“No. No, Asher. You definitely did not hurt me.”
“Your taste,” he purred as he licked the sensitive spot at my neck, “is
intoxicating.”
I smiled and leaned my head into his, planting a kiss in his hair. I gently
pulled myself off him and pulled my pants back up around my waist. I
wanted to go home and have a bath.
“I thought blood was the vampire’s forte,” I joked as I tied my pants back
on.
“It’s a Fae thing, too,” he said with a wink at me. He pulled his own pants
up and continued to explain. “It’s a very personal, sensual thing to us, sharing
blood.” His eyes turned dark. “If anyone else were to…” He trailed off and
took a breath. “It’s personal.” A wicked smile graced his lips. “It’s also part
of the mating ceremony.”
I choked on my own spit. “Excuse me?” I said in between coughs.
“Don’t worry, little duck. I would have to take far more from you than
what I did. And you would have to do the same to me. What I did to you was
to make you feel good. Judging by your tears of joy,” he said with a smirk, “it
worked.” And then he literally patted himself on the back, and my fingers
itched to palm the dagger at my side and throw it at him.
“Don’t look at me like that, little duck,” he said, his eyes darkening. His
hand encased my jaw, and he bit my lip. “I love that murderous little gaze
you have. And unless you want round two, I’d wind it in.” Even though my
body responded in a way that told me I very much wanted round two, I
decided to take his advice and go home. I needed a bath and a nap. My back
was already starting to ache after the flying lesson. If I had to be presentable
tonight for another dinner, I was going to need a few hours of rest.
“Let’s go home,” I said, pushing his chest. I tucked my wings away.
“As you wish,” he said and scooped me up in his arms. I leaned my head
against his shoulder and watched the world pass us by as he took us back. On
the way back, a thought popped into my head with such aggression it didn’t
feel like my own. I wondered if his feelings were seeping into me, but as I
searched through my own emotions and my own mind, this thought wasn’t
his. It was mine.
I suddenly knew I would do anything for him. I would fight for him. I
would die for him. I would do anything I had to do to stay here forever. He
looked down at me and smiled. One of those rare smiles that reached up to
his eyes and crinkled the corners. I would do anything I had to do to make
sure he always looked at me like that. Something had changed in the past few
days. I knew it in my soul that he was mine and I was his. And there was no
going back now.
 CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Asher rubbed my soon-to-be sore muscles in the bath and then sat next to me
on the bed while I curled up for a nap. He traced featherlight circles on my
arms while reading his book until I fell asleep. And when I woke up, he was
still there, still reading, with his fingers tangling themselves in my hair.
“Do we do anything special for the Solstice tomorrow?” I asked with
sleep still heavy in my voice.
“Zemira will give gifts to everyone at dinner. We do a lot of things that
you would probably consider Pagan-like? She’ll have Yule logs burning at
dinner, and she’ll give each guest a Yule log to burn in their cabin. The kids
will be encouraged to go gather pine leaves and make their own evergreen
wreaths and little decorations for the trees. Dancing will take place outside in
the forest instead of inside.” He shrugged.
“I love Christmas,” I said, snuggling up closer to his side. “My mom used
to decorate the entire house from top to bottom in warm lights and pretty
decorations. There would be a Christmas tree in every room. Even as I got
older, we would still keep up the Santa tradition. I would have to ask Santa
for presents as well as her.” I laughed at the memories.
“You miss her.”
I looked up at him. “I do. But I’m excited to start new traditions here, in
this world.” He smiled at me. With you.
“I saw a dress that Mavka packed for you. And I’d like you to wear it
tonight. Everyone is encouraged to wear the colors of their court tomorrow
night, so I’d like to see you in some color tonight.” He rolled off the bed and
pulled out a deep red gown from my trunk. It had long sleeves and was made
of some sort of gauzy, see-through fabric on the top with a dangerously low
neckline and red beading covering every square inch of it. It would look like
the beading had been placed directly on my skin. The bottom was pure red
silk with a high slit on each thigh.
“Where’s the rest of it? And it’s see-through?” I sat up and ran my fingers
down the beading as he held it out to me.
He rolled his eyes at me and laid it on the bed. “Get dressed,” he said as
his lips met mine in a bruising kiss. “I want to look at you all night in this
thing, knowing I get to rip it off of you later.”
I stared at his back as he walked out of the room, still half-stunned that he
wanted me.
“And wear your crown,” he tossed over his shoulder.
“Tiara!” I shot back at him. “It is not a crown,” I mumbled to myself.

You could definitely see the faint outline of the dagger on my thigh in this
scrap of fabric he called a dress. The slits were so high that it peeked out with
every step I took. Thankfully, the beading on the chest was strategically
placed with thicker fabric behind it to cover my chest. The chance of a nip
slip was still high, though. I clasped my starlight necklace around my neck
and let it lie against my collarbone, his shadows drifting slowly there even
though he wasn’t in the room. My tiara sat heavier on my head after he
called it a crown, a new weight behind it.
“I’m practically naked,” I said when I felt him come into the room. More
of his shadows billowed around me like smoke.
“Everyone is going to be looking at you tonight and wishing they could
take you home,” he said, moving behind me. “But they don’t get to touch
you. I do. And if they try, I will hurt them. If they do, I will kill them.” I
swallowed. “After babysitting you this past month, I’m eager for a fight.”
Gods, he was beautiful. He was dressed all in black except for his shirt
that was bloodred to match my dress. His hair was wild and curled around his
face, framing it perfectly. He wrapped his arms around me, and I watched the
muscles in his arms flex and move under his tight jacket. Sometimes I forgot
how strong he was, how many people he had killed. His power was raw and
moved under his skin like his shadows.
He flew us into town, and instantly I felt something was off. I looked up
at him, but he seemed unfazed, like nothing felt off to him. I chalked it up to
my nerves of seeing everyone after we had been together. I told myself it was
stupid to feel embarrassed because my role was his plaything from the start.
But I knew now that something had shifted between us, and I worried they’d
see it written all over my body.
The air moved differently around me. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that
something was different tonight.
“The wind feels strange,” I whispered as he sat me down.
“Could be your lack of clothing,” he quipped and took my hand in his. I
made a face at him and followed him into dinner.
It seemed to pass normally except for the feeling someone was watching
me. I dismissed it as the revealing clothing and my paranoia. But I couldn’t
shake it. I tried to look around the room over my wineglass, but everyone was
focused on their own conversations, not paying any more attention to us
tonight than they did any other night.
Some males’ gazes lingered on my chest, but the moment Asher caught
their eye, they quickly averted theirs. I smiled every time, loving the
possessiveness that pooled around him. His shadows clung to me tightly,
covering a lot of the skin that would’ve been on show otherwise.
Asher laid his arm on the back of my chair, and I felt him twist my waves
through his fingers. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were gorgeous in
this light. He leaned in and kissed my cheek and then found the shell of my
ear. His breath was hot, and it made me burn. My magick cracked and sizzled
under my skin.
“I like watching your eyes light up for me,” he whispered. I closed them
and took a breath, trying to get my power under control. The last thing we
needed was everyone to see my eyes turn a bright glowing white. I smiled
and caught his mouth with mine.
“I don’t think you want everyone to see my eyes glow,” I murmured
against his lips. I was satisfied when I saw a tinge of my red lipstick left
behind there. He nipped my nose, and I laughed, settling into his side.
When I turned my attention back to the table, a bright flash of wild
auburn hair streaked across the window opposite us. I jerked up and out of his
arm, suddenly alert.
Aoife?
 “What’s wrong, princess?” A few people near us scoffed at the nickname.
I was too distracted to wonder why.
“I swear I saw someone,” I said, trailing off as I stood to walk outside, the
chair scraping like nails on a chalkboard. It had to be her. I was sure of it. He
stood up next to me and leaned in so only I could hear in a room filled with
Fae hearing.
“Who’d you see?”
“I swear I saw Aoife,” I said, matching his tone. Any relaxation he had
gained over the past couple of days disappeared in the moment. His muscles
stiffened, and his eyes went grey, all the warmth in them leeched out by how
alert he was. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room and into the
cold night. People were filtering out around us and mingling as they made
their way down the sidewalks.
He took me around the building and down the little alley where the
windows were, searching for any sign someone had been there. There wasn’t
a single footprint. The snow lay smoothly on the ground. He walked all the
way down the length of the building, and gooseflesh prickled over my arms.
Something was not right. His shadows swirled nervously around me.
“I know what I saw,” I said, but I could hear the doubt in my voice. He
made his way back to me and took my face in his hands. He held my face
there, inches from his, so gently, but I could feel the power rolling off him in
waves.
“They will not touch you.”
“I know you believe she wants to hurt me. But I just can’t think like that,
Asher. She was my best friend. If she’s here, I don’t think she would be here
to hurt me.”
One of his hands slipped into my hair, and he fisted it at the base of my
skull, tugging it just enough that I felt it pull against my scalp. “She may not
want to hurt you, Alyssandra, but I can guarantee that she wants to take you.
And I will not let her take you from me.” His voice came out in a growl, and
I shivered against him.
“Look,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “There aren’t any
footprints out here. I obviously just made a mistake. I’ve been on edge since
we got here. It’s nothing.” He ran one of his thumbs over my bottom lip, and
I took it between my teeth. He growled, and it vibrated through my body.
“I will take your ass home right now,” he said, slipping his hands down
my body and in between the fabric on my thighs. He squeezed the flesh there.
 “You will not,” I murmured against his mouth. “You will take me
dancing.” He groaned into my kiss, making me laugh. “Come on.” I tugged
him out of the alley and down the sidewalk, following the groups of Fae
making their way down. “What better way to show off your plaything than
dancing with her?”
I decided not to tell Asher that I swore I saw Aoife’s flash of red hair
again at the end of the alley as we made our way out of it. I was either seeing
things, or she was here, and neither option was comforting. I knew Asher
wouldn’t let her near me if that was what she came for. It was cemented in
his mind that I would leave him for her.
I stumbled at the thought, and Asher gripped my elbow. He smiled down
at me. I had come to cherish those smiles that he seemed to only share with
me. Would I leave him for Aoife? For my family? He swung his arm around
my shoulders and pulled me flush against him.
No, I knew I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t leave him for the world.
 CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Three drinks in and Aoife was standing in the shadows of the corridor,
watching me dance with Asher. When we locked eyes, she slinked back fully
into the darkness. I turned in Asher’s arms and made the excuse of needing
the ladies’ room. He kissed my hair and made me promise to be quick.
His shadows clung on my skin as I made my way across the floor,
squeezing between the bodies. My heart was pounding in my chest, making
me light-headed, but I knew I had seen her. And I knew she wanted me to
follow her. My Fae eyesight adjusted in the darkness quickly, and I slowed
my steps.
I didn’t know where she had gone, and there were darkened doorways on
both sides of the corridor. Multiple places she could be hiding and waiting for
me.
“Alys?” I jumped and spun to my right. And there she was, her copper
hair looking more like fire now that she had released her glamor. A dark red
at her roots flowed orange and then yellow at the tips. Her eyes shone like
emeralds even in the low light of the room she was standing in.
“Aoife,” I breathed and ran into the room. I grabbed her and crushed her
against my body. She smelled like wet leaves and bonfire smoke. Her arms
wrapped around my waist, and I felt her release a breath into my hair.
“What the fuck happened, Alys?” She pulled back, eyeing the tiara on my
head. “Why are you acting like a High Lord’s consort?”
“It’s a long story,” I started before she cut me off.
“You have to come with me.” The shadows around me began to stir.
Aoife eyed them and took a step back. My stomach dropped. “He’s marked
you,” she whispered. My hand instinctively went to my neck, where his dust
lay restless.
“Look,” I said, dropping my hand back to my side, “he did that when I
was still human to track me. He was trying to keep me safe, Aoife.”
“Not the dust, Alys. That’s a minor tracking bond.” She waved her hand.
“His shadows follow you.” At her statement, they curled around my arms,
causing my hair to stand on edge.
“And?” I asked her, not sure where she was going with her train of
thought.
“Alyssandra,” she said as she stepped forward and grabbed my shoulders.
Her staggered, panicked emotions flooded in, and I flinched away from her
harsh grip. My magick responded to her emotions and flared hot under my
skin. “He has marked you as his. He has claimed you. He’s made sure that
everyone that sees you will know that you are intended to be his mate.”
I felt the color drain from my face. There was no way that she was telling
the truth. She couldn’t know that. Just because his shadows seemed to like
me? They most definitely did not follow me because he intended me to be his
mate. I stepped fully out of her grasp and hugged myself. But a small part of
me wondered if it would be so bad to be his mate, his person. Would it be the
worst thing in the world to have someone love you like that?
“Alys, you have to come with me. You don’t understand,” she said as she
took a step towards me. “There’s so much to tell you.”
“I know what you’re going to tell me, Aoife. I know I’m your sister.
Well, half sister. I know that our father wants me dead and sent you to keep
an eye on me.” I could feel the anger boiling through my blood at the betrayal
I had buried deep down as I recited Asher’s story from memory. “You were
supposed to be my friend, but all of that was a lie.” Her eyes were wide as
saucers and glowing an even brighter green.
I could feel my magick humming underneath the surface of my skin,
begging to be used.
Kill the pretty girl, it whispered in my ear.
I ran my hands into my hair and pushed it out of my face while I took
deep breaths, trying to cool the heat pouring through me. I paced a few steps
right and then turned on my heel and went a few steps left. I could feel
myself losing control, but to what, I didn’t know. My skin felt like it was
going to be flayed from my bones. Gooseflesh broke out over my skin, and I
could barely catch my breath. I thought I heard a pitiful noise escape my
mouth. Asher’s shadows crawled up my torso and around my neck.
“Alys?” I threw my hand in her direction to tell her to be quiet, but
instead of a harmless gesture, she was flung through the air and slammed into
the wall behind her. I barely caught sight of it before my skull felt like it was
cracking open. I dropped to my knees and crouched over. Fire. I was on fire. I
tried to stop a scream from exploding through me but failed. His cool
shadows tried to smother the fire, lying harshly cold against my burning skin
and fighting to get in my mouth, in my lungs. I coughed, and my fingers tried
to tear through my skin. I had to get it out.
Let me out. Let me out. Let me kill the pretty girl, it cooed into my ear.
“Alys.” Aoife knelt next to me and threw her arms around me, but her
skin was even hotter than mine. I groaned and tried to throw her off, but she
was unyielding. “We have to go. Now. Something has happened to you. This
isn’t right. He isn’t right.” It felt like every bone in my body was cracking,
every muscle was tearing. Tears streamed down my face, and my teeth
ground together.
“Get your fucking hands off of her.” His voice cut through my pain like a
dagger through flesh. It ripped right through me like falling into the frozen
waters of the lake. I fell over onto the floor out of Aoife’s hands. I heard my
tiara thunk onto the floor and roll.
“Alys, listen to me.” She was speaking quickly and hushed. I still
couldn’t open my eyes to look at her. “He lied to you. Our father would never
hurt you. But if I don’t come back with you, he will send someone else after
you. He wants you home and away from this monster.”
“Enough!” Asher roared, and I flinched, curling in on myself even more.
The pain was easing the closer he got, but it still thundered through my body.
“Father was right about you, Asher,” Aoife said. “You are weak and
pathetic. Let her go. She is not yours.”
“Oh, Aoife.” His voice was as smooth as butter, cloyingly sweet. “You
are right about that. She is not mine. Not in the way you insinuate, anyway.
She is her own person with her own feelings and thoughts. I do not control
her.” I felt him kneel behind me, and I instinctually rolled over towards him.
He helped me up, and his shadows fully encased me, smothering the fire in
my veins. I leaned back against him as he held my weight and sighed at the
respite.
I slowly opened my eyes and turned to face Aoife. This time, I could feel
my eyes glowing. They took on a certain warmth that tingled and made water
run freely down my cheeks. I blinked at it, but it wouldn’t relent. Aoife
gasped and took several steps back. The sickly scent of fear rolled through
the room.
“You will not speak to him like that,” I said, my voice as cold as death
itself.
“What have you done to her?”
“He hasn’t done anything,” I said through a hoarse throat. I was tired, in
pain, and getting more and more irritated at her. “This isn’t Asher’s doing.”
“If I don’t bring her back with me, Asher, he will send someone after her.
She is our family. She belongs with us.”
“You can stop speaking as if I am not here, as if he speaks for me. I will
not go with you.”
She stiffened as her gaze found mine through his shadows that were
angrily filling the space. For a split second, her face crumpled into sadness,
but it disappeared so quickly I wasn’t sure if I actually saw it.
“Let them come,” Asher said. There was something in his voice that
made me think he wanted them to come, that he wanted the bloodshed that
would follow. In that moment, I couldn’t blame him. This whole situation
was really starting to grate on my nerves. The pain was receding more
quickly now, and I leaned my head back against his chest and took deep
breaths.
“Aoife,” I said through a heavy sigh. “You betrayed me. I thought you
were my friend.” I took another pain-free breath, and my body relaxed even
more. “You say that you and our father are my family? He wants to kill me,
Aoife.”
“He’s lying to you.” Her voice cracked, and I felt my throat burn with my
own tears.
“Asher’s my home now. I choose him. I will always choose him, Aoife,”
I said thickly. She reached towards me, and I noticed her blackened fingertips
for the first time. Another punch to the gut. Another thing I never knew about
her. Another thing I had to find out about her through Asher. He pulled me
tighter against him, and she dropped her arm back to her side.
“I am your sister,” she said as tears fell over her lashes and sizzled into
steam as they rolled over her cheeks. “And I will still be here when you
realize he is not who he says he is.”
And then she was gone. Poof. She disappeared into thin air, and I stared
after her as my heart felt like it ripped in half. I turned into Asher’s chest and
let the tears come. I choked on my cries, and he cradled my head in his hands,
his fingers weaving themselves into my hair.
“Let’s go back to the cabin,” he whispered into my hair after a minute of
letting me cry. I nodded and pulled away slightly, wiping away my tears. I
knew my face was blotchy and red, but I was too exhausted to care that I was
an ugly crier. He picked up my tiara and placed it back on top of my head.
“What’s wrong with me?” I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
“I don’t have the answer to that.” He wiped the rest of the tears off my
face, and I agreed as I took a few steadying breaths. “But we will get you
answers.”
He grabbed my face in his hands tightly and jerked my mouth to his in a
bruising kiss that stole all the breath I had just taken. The sheer adoration in
that kiss, in the skin-on-skin contact from him, made my knees weak.
“You chose me,” he said in a whisper on my lips. “No one has ever
chosen me.”
My throat ached again, and I swallowed those tears. I could feel his
whirlwind of emotions through our touch. There was so much pain in his
heart.
“I will always choose you.” I stared into his eyes and thought about how
Aoife had claimed he had marked me as his mate. That was something we
would have to talk about. But it was on the back burner until we figured out
what the hell was going on with my magic. And, honestly, when I looked up
into his eyes, I didn’t care if he had marked me. A part of me, a part I
wouldn’t let show itself yet, wasn’t angry. That little part was content to be
his.
But it was overshadowed by the terrifying amount of power I had felt
earlier. I was out of control, and it had been trying to overtake me. Whatever
that voice was…it wanted out. It wanted me. And it had almost succeeded.
“Come on, little duck,” he said as he took my hand. “Let’s sneak out the
back and maybe get you some hot chocolate on the way back?”
I smiled and leaned into his arm, breathing in his clean scent. “And
sugared pecans, please,” I said as we made our way through the darkened
corridors.
“Of course,” he said. “Anything for my princess.”
I sighed at the nickname and wondered now if that had more meaning
than I had wanted to believe.
 CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I told Asher everything. I told him about the uncontrollable power and about
the voice that accompanied it. I told him about how it whispered for me to
kill Aoife and how I was pretty sure it had also told me to kill him in a dream
I had. He gave me his full attention and hung on every word until I was
finished and folded my legs underneath me, trying to curl up and disappear.
He stared at the floor for a moment, and I watched him intently, waiting
to see what he would do. We had both changed when we got back. He wore
loose pants and a tight white shirt that clung to every muscle that was now
taut with stress and worry. I played with the hem of his shirt he had insisted I
wear.
“I want my scent all over you,” he had growled in my ear.
I didn’t protest after that.
But now, sitting wrapped in a blanket on the couch, waiting for him to
respond to my story, I felt self-conscious. The anxiety that I had rarely felt
since crossing into this world was suddenly creeping its way back around me
like ivy, gripping at my heart. Without even realizing I was doing it, I
reached out my senses, my anxiety fueling the need to know what he was
thinking, and skimmed the edge of his power with mine.
“You’re being a bit more gentle this time,” he whispered.
“Sorry,” I said and pulled it back. “My anxiety is a bit of a trigger for it.”
He grabbed my hands, and I watched our shadows twirl around us there, a
cool breeze against our skin.
“You never have to apologize to me for your power, Alys.”
 I met his grey eyes and smiled, but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. I could
feel the sob climbing its way up through my throat.
“Something is wrong with me.” My voice broke. “Maybe I shouldn’t
have changed. Maybe it took so long because I wasn’t meant to be here.” I
was spiraling. I could feel the panic take hold in my stomach and chest,
seizing my muscles. I couldn’t breathe. I stood up and paced in front of the
sofa. “I wasn’t supposed to be here, Asher. You brought me here. You took
me and brought me here, and I wasn’t supposed to be here!”
“I know,” he whispered into his hands.
“Why did you do it? Why did you have to bring me here and turn me into
this?” I gestured at my body. I knew I was being ridiculous; I could feel it. I
always knew when my anxiety took hold and I was no longer being rational,
but I was on a roll and couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of my
mouth like a waterfall. “This is your fault,” I said in a deathly, low whisper.
My power pulsed through me in a shock wave at those words.
His fault. His fault, it whispered.
Another pulse of power hurtled through me.
His head still hung in his hands, the thick strands of hair curling around
his fingers.
“I know, Alyssandra.” He lifted his head and looked at me. “You don’t
think I hate myself every day for bringing you here? Tearing you out of your
comfortable life? I hate myself for bringing you here and making you stay
with me.” He stood and gripped my arms, his fingertips digging into my
flesh. “I hate how selfish I am with you. I knew from the moment I saw you
that I was well and truly fucked. Why do you think I treated you so badly?
Kept you at a distance?”
I ripped myself out of his grip. I was angry and heated, and I knew I
would get lost in those eyes if I stayed too long. I made circles around the
small living room and then poured myself a drink and downed it in one gulp,
letting the liquor set my skin on fire.
“I had come to York to save you. I knew Theron was hunting you. I knew
Aoife was close to you. You don’t understand the horrors I grew up with.
You don’t understand all the things I have seen him do to not only me. When
I heard he was looking for someone, for you, there was just something inside
me that broke at that. I couldn’t let him do it again.” He was really shouting,
causing his shadows to seep through the room and block out all the firelight.
His face was red, and his eyes seemed to light up with anger.
 “You did it out of spite, Asher. You did it to stick it to Theron one last
time. Do not delude yourself into thinking this was all for me.” I swallowed
another glass and ran my hands over my face. My magic thrummed under my
skin, pushing me closer and closer to the cliff. I turned away from him and
gripped the bar until I felt the metal dip under my fingers.
“Alys,” he said and placed a hand on my shoulder to turn me around. His
eyes widened slightly before he pulled me to him, my face cradled in his
hands. “I did not only do it for me. I felt something pull me to you.” I felt
tears prick at my eyes. “Breathe for me, little duck. Grip that power and pull
it down.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, pushing it as far down as I
possibly could, my power writhing against me, fighting the entire way. I
couldn’t tell the difference between my anger and the thing inside me. I
didn’t know if what I was feeling was real or if it was that thing trying to take
me over.
But I felt rage in that moment. Rage that my mother wasn’t my mother.
Rage that everything I grew up knowing was a lie. Rage that I was taken
from my friends and family.
He took you away, it whispered.
I pushed back at it, forcing it down and hidden. I had to sort through my
own thoughts and my own feelings. With Asher’s skin against mine, his own
self-hatred free flowing into me, and the thing inside me swelling with hope
it would be freed again, I couldn’t breathe.
“I don’t know why,” he murmured into my hair. “But I know I was
supposed to save you, Alys.” I swallowed against the tears. “And you were
supposed to save me.”
“Save yourself, Asher.”
I pulled out of his hands and stalked off to the bathroom where I slammed
the door and threw his shirt on the ground. I stepped into the empty bath and
turned on the water. It was so hot my skin instantly began to turn red. I pulled
my knees to my chest and hugged them tight. And then, resting my forehead
on my knees, I cried.
I mourned my easy life that I had lost back in England. I cried for my
mother and for my friends. I let all the anger burn off my skin and melt into
the water. This was never Asher’s fault. Deep down, I knew better. I knew
that if it weren’t for him, I would have probably been dead by now, or worse.
I kicked myself for being an asshole, and then because I didn’t want to face
him, I laid my head back against the bath and cried again.

I was thoroughly waterlogged, and the water had turned ice-cold by the time
he knocked on the door, two soft little raps that brought me out of my haze. I
furiously wiped at my eyes.
“Yeah?”
“May I come in, please, Alys?”
I started crying again at the gentleness in his voice, and without waiting
for my word, he slowly crept in through the door and knelt next to me. I
shivered against the chill in the bath.
“My princess,” he whispered as I reached for him and he reached for me.
Completely unfazed by the water sloshing out of the bath and all over him, he
scooped me up and let me sob into his neck while he somehow wrapped me
in a towel and carried me to the bedroom.
He shushed and murmured against my sodden hair and ran his hands over
the towel, trying to warm me up. Even his shadows seemed to know I was
cold and kept their distance. We sat on the bed like that, him staring into the
fire and me staring at his chest, until the silence became unbearable.
“You should sleep,” he said, cutting through the silence like a blade. “I’ll
let you change and get some rest.”
He began to stand, but I threw my arms around his neck.
“Do not leave me, Asher. Never leave me. I’m sorry for what I said
earlier. I’m so, so sorry.”
He let out a breath and pushed me away from him. My heart dropped.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing my chin. “You’re a pain in my ass, you know
that, right?” I laughed, and he caught it with a kiss. “I will never leave you,
Alys.”
I straddled his waist and let the towel fall to the floor. I rested my
forehead against his and let my emotions flow through that bond he had
created. I let myself feel his as they moved across our skin.
Adoration. Hope. Fear. And something a bit more demanding in the
present moment.
A deep rumble through his chest had my breath hitched in my throat and
my hips moving against him, hard and ready.
 “How will I ever be able to stay mad at you?” I asked against his mouth.
“I’m really hoping you never can. You were terrifying.” He laughed and
moved his fangs against my neck. I tilted my head to the side to give him
better access. I rolled my eyes.
“Bite me, Asher.”
“With pleasure, princess.”
 CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Zemira met us on the road the next morning, worry lines marking her
otherwise flawless face. I let Asher do most of the talking and leaned against
the carriage door. My new Fae ears wouldn’t let me miss a second of their
conversation, but I pretended it did and stared out into the forest covered in
deep snow. Who knew I would be such an interesting topic of conversation?
“Alys?” I turned my face towards Zemira and smiled. She walked over
towards me, and I pushed off the door. “What Asher told me has me troubled.
That power is something you need to learn how to control before it learns
how to control you.”
I nodded and kicked some snow with my boots. We were leaving this
morning instead of staying for the Solstice celebration because they both
thought it was too risky to keep me out among people. I didn’t feel like
fighting with a High Lord and a High Lady, but I honestly didn’t think it
mattered where I was. It seemed that they would come for me no matter
where I was. But I was mentally exhausted, and being back in my own room
sounded comforting.
Zemira put a hand on my shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts. Her
smile was reassuring as she leaned forward and whispered in my ear so that
Asher couldn’t hear.
“Don’t reach for a savior, Alys. Reach for a knife. Be your own savior.”
She leaned back and met my eyes with a fierce look in her own. My fingers
twitched, and the dagger on my thigh suddenly felt much heavier. Her words
spurred something in my blood that I recognized as courage. A new
determination overtook my anxiety. She winked, and with a kiss on Asher’s
cheek, she walked back towards town.
Asher walked over and took my face in his hands, stroking my
cheekbones with his thumbs. The worry behind his eyes was almost enough
to break my heart. I had to get this shit under control before it broke him, too.
“What did she tell you, little duck?”
“Just a few words of encouragement.” I stood on my toes, and he met me
halfway. His lips were so soft on mine I couldn’t help but lean into it. The
kiss deepened and started to remind me of all the other places his mouth had
been last night…and this morning. My skin heated as his desire flooded into
me. Gods, his desire for me made my knees weak. I could feel it build in my
chest, reaching out and twining with his.
He growled into my mouth and lifted me into the carriage and pounded
twice on the roof. It lurched into motion as he sat me on top of him, my
simple wool dress pooling around his thighs. His impressive length pressed
into my core, and I ground into it.
“Fuck, princess,” he whispered as he trailed his kisses along my jaw and
down my neck. My nipples peaked and strained against the fabric. “I’m at
your mercy. Ask anything of me and it’s yours. I’m yours.”
I laughed and pushed all the fabric out of the way and untied his pants.
“Round four?”
He caught my mouth in a bruising kiss, his tongue exploring, teeth
clashing. I finally got him freed from his pants and hovered just above him,
rubbing the tip up and down my wetness. His hand trailed up my side, over
my breast, and landed around my neck.
“You aren’t wearing any panties,” he groaned and squeezed. I smiled and
watched his lips part in a sigh as I slowly lowered myself down on him, inch
by excruciating inch, until he was in me to the hilt. While he was distracted, I
moved my hand from him to the dagger at my thigh and brought it to his
throat. I smiled as his eyes went wide, and his hand fell from my throat.
“Sit there and behave for once, High Lord.” I started to move against him,
while still pressing the blade against him just enough to make sure he didn’t
move. It was my turn to be in control.
His fingers gripped my hips with such strength I knew I would have little
purple cherries there. Knowing he was barely holding himself together just
spurred me on. I could feel the heat rise in my belly and my toes start to curl.
I took deep breaths, letting it wash through my body. I rolled my head back,
and the dagger fell out my hand as I gripped his shoulders for support.
He pulled my dress down, and as he latched onto my breast, I fell over the
waterfall. I knew the driver was a mere few feet away, but I was never good
at being quiet. Asher’s hand covered my mouth and squeezed as I let out a
scream that would have otherwise woken the dead.
“Let me see those beautiful eyes,” he said, his hand dropping to my jaw
and forcing me to look at him. I knew my eyes were hooded but glowing. He
loved them, his personal starlight. He pushed back against me, taking his own
pleasure as I gripped him and moved with him. I leaned forward, gripped his
jaw, his stubble rough against my fingertips, and pushed my lips against his.
“Come for me, High Lord. Show me what I do to you.”
He seized my mouth with such force I tasted blood, and it lit a fire in my
veins. I wanted more and sucked harder on his lip. He tasted like life itself,
like starlight and darkness and sin, and I couldn’t get enough of it. He
groaned and pressed a thumb against the bundle of nerves between my thighs.
“Oh, fuck,” I growled into his mouth.
“My sentiments exactly,” he said through harsh breaths. I felt my own
orgasm building again, the heat of it stirring deep in my belly. A few more
thrusts and we came together, sweaty and spent.
I leaned my forehead against his. “That was so inappropriate with the
driver right outside.”
He laughed and kissed me again. “Trust me, if he had a woman this
beautiful at his fingertips, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her
either.” I eased myself off him, and he ripped a section of his shirt off and
started to push my skirt up around my waist.
“What’re you doing?”
“I’m not going to have you just sitting in it, love.”
He slowly ran the section of shirt up the inside of each of my thighs and
then further. The gentle touch was like a feather on my heated skin.
Why is this making me hot again?
I felt my chest and face flush when he found the most sensitive part of
me.
“Don’t look at me like that or I’ll make it round five.”
I took deep breaths, cooling my blood. He threw the piece of cloth on the
floor of the carriage unceremoniously and then kissed each thigh before
letting my skirt fall back down over my legs. I laid my head back as he put
himself back together as best he could with the lower half of his shirt
missing.
He shifted closer and pulled me into his chest, his shadows puffing out
around us like clouds. His fingers twirled themselves through my hair. My
mind drifted to worries in the silence.
I didn’t know how we were going to eliminate this threat without either
hiding me away forever or fighting. I didn’t know anything about politics
here or war, but I did know I didn’t want anything to happen to the Fae I had
come to know. I didn’t want to lose what I had here, what I had with Asher.
The thought of him dying trying to protect me or fight for me made my
heart race and my palms sweat. It also wouldn’t just be Asher fighting and
risking his life. He would need help. Wars are not fought one-on-one. I would
not let people who I hadn’t even met fight to save my life just because Asher
had some sort of revenge plot.
If I had to sacrifice myself to save him, and other innocents, I would
without hesitation. If it came to me leaving him, leaving this court, to keep
him safe, I would. In my mind, I could see that becoming my only option.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“What if I wanted to leave?” I whispered. I felt him stiffen beneath me.
“Leave Esteria? My court? Or me?” He grabbed my chin and forced my
eyes to his. His words had come out clipped, and any warmth in his eyes had
faded to black. His shadows seemed to pull away from me and hovered over
him instead. I felt their absence like a knife to the chest. I blinked away the
tears threatening to spill.
“You.” My voice cracked on the singular word. He closed his eyes with a
deep breath, and then his fingers moved from my chin to encompass my
entire jaw, his fingertips digging into the bone. His eyes bored into mine.
“I was just inside you, and now you talk about leaving me, little duck?”
I whimpered as the tears rolled over my cheeks. “It would save you.”
His dark eyes darted back and forth between my own. “If you left me, it
would rip my heart out of my chest. It would be like taking the moon from
the night sky. You belong to me just as I belong to you.” His grip became
gentle then as his other hand slipped up to cup the other side of my face. He
stroked the tears from my cheeks.
“It would save innocent people if I left, Asher. If I went to him, it could
solve the problem. I only see this ending in war and bloodshed or me leaving.
If he wants me this badly, he isn’t just going to give up and let us live our
lives in peace.”
“I don’t care about innocent lives,” he said as he kissed my cheeks. “I
care about yours. He will…” He swallowed, and his eyes became distant. He
blinked away whatever thoughts had plagued him and turned back to me. I
pulled out of his grasp.
“You are a leader.” I grabbed his hand in my own and squeezed. “You
don’t have that luxury.”
He sighed and lay back against the seat and closed his eyes, running his
fingers over them. I watched his shadows swirl around my arms and settle
themselves back across my skin. They had become a comfort blanket.
“This is madness. You are madness.”
I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to the trees outside the carriage
window. We sat in silence for a long time before I felt him shift, and then his
arm snaked around my waist.
“I can’t bear the thought of losing you.” I leaned back against his chest
and fought against the pain in my throat. “We just need to figure out why he
wants you and what he wants you for. Once we know his true motives, we
can fight smarter, not harder.” I let myself believe him, for now.
“I’m not important enough for all of this, Asher.”
“You are important to me, Alyssandra.”
I gave a soft laugh. “You know, Aoife did say something kind of
interesting during her little visit.”
“And what might that have been?” He kissed my hair, and I steeled my
nerves.
“She may have mentioned something about you marking me? That these
shadows of yours that seem to have latched on are a way of saying you intend
to mate with me.” I held my breath and thanked the Gods I wasn’t facing
him. His breathing slowed, and he stilled behind me. A knot grew and twisted
in my stomach. The silence was deafening.
The carriage came to a stop in the middle of our silence. We were home.
The anxiety crawled up my throat and forced my heart out of rhythm.
“If you thought this to be true,” he murmured, his breath warm against
my ear, “why the fuck would you ever entertain the idea of leaving me in a
ploy to save me.” And with that, he pulled away from me and threw the door
open, not giving the driver time to do it for us. I felt the color drain from my
face.
He turned around and looked back at me, his eyes on fire. “Mating is not
human marriage. It is a soul bond, a blood bond. You are more naive than I
thought if you think leaving and giving up would ever be the answer.” He
turned on his heel and walked away, leaving me with my mouth open in
shock.
“I could smell the two of you from a mile away,” came Emric’s deep
voice, full of laughter. It filtered in through the open carriage door. I regained
composure and quickly jumped out of the carriage, hoping to run and catch
up with Asher. “Finally sealed the deal, eh?” He was clearly blind to Asher’s
mood as he clapped him on the back.
“Say one more crude thing about her and I will rip your throat out.”
Emric threw his hands up and took several steps back. The smile didn’t
falter, though. We both glanced at each other and then watched him storm his
way inside.
“Trouble in paradise already, Wheezy?”
I smiled weakly. “I just want to get inside, Em.”
His violet eyes went soft as he smiled at me. “Come on, then.” He slung
his arm across my shoulders, and we walked inside.
 CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

I paced the library with Emric sitting on a chair, legs over the arm, carving
out pieces of an apple.
“You’ll wear a path in that rug.”
I sighed and plopped down heavily on a chair near the window. The sun
was starting to set, letting the stars swirl and mingle in the darkened sky. I
could feel his stare on me.
“He’s fuming. I can feel it from here.”
“Just as I’m sure he can feel your rotten mood wherever he is.” He
popped another piece of apple into his mouth and smiled at my scowl.
“Careful, your face might freeze like that.”
“I was just trying to come up with a solution to our problem without there
having to be a war.”
“And why do you think there would be a war? You’ve got quite an
inflated sense of self-worth there, Wheezy.” I flipped him off, and he
laughed, sitting the core of the apple down on the stand. “Look, Ash didn’t
make this decision on his own. He spoke to all of his advisors, he spoke to
me and I took it to my men, and he spoke to every single Fae that works in
this place. Everyone knows what happened to him as a boy. They know what
happened to his mother. No one wished that on you. And, shocking as it may
be, everyone respects him as a leader and therefore respects his decisions.”
“But if I left and went to the Autumn Court on my own, it would save a
lot of stress. And maybe lives.” I laid my head back and closed my eyes. “I’m
trying not to be a damsel in distress. I am trying to fix my own problems.”
 “This isn’t your problem, Alys. You didn’t ask for that bastard to go off
and sleep with someone to produce you. This problem is literally a product of
someone else making bad decisions and being an overall bad person.”
“I wish Asher hadn’t brought himself into it. He would be much happier
with someone that didn’t need constant protecting.”
“You speaking for him isn’t fair. You make him happy. End of story.” I
looked at him as he stood and tied his hair back. “Don’t go running away. It
would destroy him. And I’m not sure he could come back from it.” He
walked over and kissed me on the top of my head. He laid a hand on my
shoulder, and I squeezed it with my own. “None of us want to see you leave.”
“Okay” was all I could say. I still wasn’t convinced.
“Anyway, now that you’re back, we can start training again. Let’s get that
power of yours under control, yeah?”
“See you tomorrow morning, Em.”
He gave my shoulder a final squeeze and then left me alone with my
thoughts.
I stared out the window until the sun had completely set and it was just
the stars lighting the sky. It was almost a full moon. I wondered if he looked
forward to escorting the souls into Summerland or if I had put him into such a
foul mood he wouldn’t even be able to enjoy that. I groaned and laid my head
back. I had half expected him to come find me at some point and try to make
up. My stubbornness wanted it to be him that made that first move.
I could feel him out in the castle somewhere, skulking and moody. I
wasn’t sure when it had happened, me being able to feel his emotions without
touching him, but they rolled through my body like thunder. His shadows,
thinner now than they had been, lay flat against my skin, like even they were
mad at me.
“If I leave,” I said aloud to them, “it would make everyone’s lives here
much simpler. Your master would get over my loss eventually. He’s basically
immortal. There are plenty more opportunities out there.” I ran my finger
down my arm, watching the shadows part. I looked out the window one last
time, taking in the snowy mountain view, before standing and stretching.
“Don’t reach for a savior. Reach for a knife.”
I walked past the apple core Emric had left sitting on the stand and rolled
my eyes as I picked it up to throw away. As I did, a small piece of paper
fluttered from the stand to the floor. I picked it up and unfolded it.
2am. Training room.
 I crumpled the note up and threw it in the fire. It had to have been left by
Emric. Did he leave me a note because he was too worried someone would
overhear him? Was he going to help me leave? Maybe he wasn’t so keen on
my being here as he let on. My heart sank a bit at the revelation, but it just
confirmed everything I had been thinking: I had worn out my welcome.

I sat on my bed, fully dressed, after Mavka left me for the night, staring into
the fire. The nerves were restless in my body. I had tried to find Asher before
I went to my room for the night, but I couldn’t track him down. That made
the pit in my stomach even larger and darker. I was sure he would be able to
feel how desperate I was to see him through the stupid GPS tracker, but
maybe he was just too angry to care.
I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall
again. I looked around my bedroom, taking in all the now familiar things
about it. I would miss the comforts afforded to me here. Gods knew what I
would be met with at the Autumn Court. I didn’t know if I would be thrown
in a cell or given a room. Based on everything Asher had told me about this
man that was supposedly my father, I would not be greeted with kindness.
My expectations were low.
I checked the clock on the wall. It was almost five minutes to two. I
stood, took one more look around my room, and, ignoring the dread seeping
through my veins, left. I wondered if Asher would feel something was
different, wrong. I wondered if he would be able to tell I was leaving. And I
wondered when the last wispy shadows would finally leave me and run back
to him. Would he notice? Or I guess the real question was when would he
notice? And what would he do when he did?
In my fighting leathers and boots, dagger strapped to my thigh, I made
my way down the halls as quietly as I could. This time of night, everyone
would be asleep, but I didn’t want to take the chance of waking anyone. The
long walk to the training room was dark and drafty. Muscle memory got me
to the training room on time.
I opened the door slowly and peered in. Even with my Fae sight, it was
difficult to see through the shadows.
“Em?” I whispered into the darkness. I walked in and closed the door,
walking to the center of the room. I could sense someone lurking against the
walls. “Hello?”
Before I could even think to move, a curved dagger wrapped itself around
my throat. “Hi there, princess,” a woman’s voice murmured low into my ear.
Her emotions flooded into me. So much hate in one person had my head
swimming.
“Who are you?”
“She’s with me.” Aoife stepped out of the darkness, her hair a glowing
halo of fire tied in knots atop her head. Her emerald eyes glowed in the
darkness. She lifted her hand in front of her, and flames glowed at her
fingertips, lighting the small space between the three of us.
“Interesting that you talk of peace and yet bring someone to hold me at
knifepoint, sister.” I spat the last word at her feet. “Where’s Emric?”
“I didn’t trust your power to not throw me across the room again, so
forgive me the precaution of bringing Theia. Emric set up this little get-
together, but he prefers to not get his hands dirty.”
“Someone’s hands are going to get dirty?” I asked. “I thought you were
coming to retrieve your sister, not a hostage.”
She closed the distance between us with a few long strides. Gods, I
could’ve cried with how much I realized I missed her sweet face. Her eyes
softened.
“I am still your sister. And I still want you with me. But I won’t apologize
for how I have to go about getting you.” The hand that wasn’t on fire reached
up and cradled my face. The sheer amount of love in her touch nearly
knocked me flat on the ground. Too much bare skin was on my own. My
mind couldn’t handle the assault. “I’ve missed you.”
I bit my lip until I tasted blood against the raw pain in my throat. I turned
my face out of her grasp.
“I hate to ruin this little reunion,” Theia said. “But we should probably
get this mark off of her and go.”
“Mark?” I asked thickly.
“That mark on your shoulder is going to lead him right to us. And even
though he will have his suspicions about where you went, I would really
rather you both not have a direct link to each other.” Aoife dropped her hand
from my face.
“And how do you intend to get it off of me?”
Theia grabbed both of my arms with her free arm and pulled them tight
behind me. My shoulders screamed against the stretch. I tried to pull them
back, but she was a vise grip. I really wished newer Fae ended up being
physically stronger than older ones so that I could Bella Swan her ass.
“I’m going to burn it off, Alys,” she said, a vertical line of worry forming
between her eyebrows. “It’s going to hurt. Badly.”
My stomach fell through my butt and hit the floor. “You don’t have to do
this, Aoife.” Theia pushed the curve of the dagger closer to my throat. I felt a
pinch and a slow trickle of blood roll down my neck.
“Oh, but she does, little one. Your mate is vengeful and hateful, and he
will come for you.”
I swallowed and shuffled my feet, trying to get further away from the
flame getting closer. But it was no use—Theia was like backing up into a
brick wall.
Damn, this woman is built like a brick shit house.
“I’m so sorry, Alys.” Her flame-free hand covered my mouth, and the
other lay flat against Asher’s dust on my shoulder. I screamed against her
hand at the lightning-like pain and smell of charred skin. My magic flared to
life under her touch, begging to release and get the fire away. Tears streamed
down my face. Her fire burned against my shoulder and then up my neck.
My stomach rolled, and sweat broke out across my whole body. I felt my
eyes light up, and if it scared Aoife, she didn’t let it show. My fingertips
burned, and I knew…I just knew her touch had awakened the Autumn
magick I had buried deep.
“Almost done,” she whispered.
My vision, wet and out of focus, picked up who I assumed was Theia
across from me now. She was tall, lean, and tanned. She had deep brown hair
tangled in braids that reminded me of a Viking, and her bright blue eyes
surveyed me like I was a piece of meat. If I hadn’t just been assaulted by her,
that heated look might have had me squirming in a different way. She was
breathtakingly beautiful.
I shifted my eyes away from her and looked up into Aoife’s. She had my
head laid on her lap, and she was stroking the tangled mess away from my
face. I tried to reach for my neck, but she grabbed my hand and put it back
down at my side.
“Best not touch it until it’s healed.”
“It’ll be a wicked scar,” Theia chimed in from across the carriage, a snide
smile painted across her pretty lips.
 “You scarred me?” I met Aoife’s eyes defiantly, and she looked out the
window, away from me.
“Those things are near impossible to break unless the maker does it
willingly. And your body fought harder than I expected it would.” She sighed
and continued to play with my hair. I wanted to cut off her hands in that
moment. Knuckle by fucking knuckle. “His shadows finally let you go once
that was broken, though. And it seems your fire magick kicked in. Now you
look like a proper Autumn High Fae.”
I pulled one of my hands up in front of my face, seeing the blackened
skin trail down my fingers and snake around my wrists. My stomach twisted
in disgust at the blackened skin. I pushed off Aoife’s lap, and she
disentangled herself from me reluctantly.
“What’s next?” I asked either of them.
“We get you home,” Aoife said as she reached out to take my hand. I
jerked it away at the last minute and laid my hands on my lap. Looking down
at them, I noticed they had relieved me of the dagger Asher had given me.
My heart skipped a beat. I had lost a lot of Asher in one day.
“I was home, Aoife. You’re taking me away from home. But believe what
you want. I’m here because I wouldn’t let Asher fight my battles.”
Theia snorted, and I whipped my head around to her. She met my hard
stare with a flippant smile.
“Don’t look at me like that, princess. I may get the wrong idea.” She
winked at me, and I looked away from her and to Aoife. Her eyes were
shining with unshed tears.
“You have me. Theron has me. Leave Asher and his court alone.”
She gave a slight nod and looked to Theia as I decided to ignore them
both for the rest of our travels.
I missed the shadows on my skin. My neck and shoulder felt lighter
knowing I was missing that connection to Asher. I wondered what he would
think when he realized I was gone, if he hadn’t already. Would he find out
that Emric was the one that helped me? I prayed to the Gods he wouldn’t. If
he knew Emric had been the one to help, he would kill him. Slowly.
I’m so sorry, I called out in my mind. But I knew he couldn’t hear me.
The absence of him racked through my body like an earthquake, shaking the
very core of me. He would hate me. But him hating me alive was much better
than him loving me into an early grave. I took a deep breath to steady my
nerves as the carriage rattled on.
Reach for a knife, Alys, not a savior.
EPILOGUE
 ASHER

I sat upright in bed, my head pounding and spinning with the movement. I
scanned the dimly lit room. Something was wrong. I had sworn I had heard a
scream. I stood out of bed, swaying a bit with the sudden motion. The
copious amount of alcohol was still very much in my blood. Gods, how much
had I had to drink?
“Emric,” I stated loudly enough for him to hear. He jolted up from his
spot on my couch and swore.
“What could you possibly need in the middle of the night?” He rubbed his
eyes furiously before they landed on me.
“Something is wrong.” Ever the carefree guard, he rolled his eyes and
took his time standing.
“What in the hell could be wrong at—” He glanced at the old clock above
the fire. “—two in the morning?”
I tucked my shirt into my pants and slipped on my boots as quickly as I
could against the ache in my head. “How much liquor did you force down my
throat? I feel like I’ve been run over by a horse.” I groaned. “Multiple
horses.” I took a moment to hang my head in my hands. My senses were
dulled, my head was pounding, and I could barely get the energy to move.
“Pretty sure you were throwing those back all by yourself. Going on and
on about how upset you were about a certain someone.”
Alys.
Her name drifted across my mind like a cool breeze, relaxing my muscles
and bringing my senses back to light. And then my stomach plummeted. My
heart raced. Why couldn’t I feel Alys? I reached out as hard as I could,
searching for that cord that connected me to her. I struggled to try and hear
her heartbeat. I listened for her sweet, dream-riddled thoughts. Nothing.
Quiet. It was empty. The shimmering cord that connected us was gone. I felt
the loss as if I had lost a limb.
“I can’t feel her,” I said, suddenly up and moving again.
“What? Who?” Emric was still standing there like a lost puppy, drunken
and still half-asleep.
“Alys, Emric. I can’t fucking feel her. Let’s go.” I walked out of my
room, not caring if he had followed. Her room was so close to mine: down
the hall, around the corner. My steps were heavy but silenced on the thick
carpet.
Why didn’t I check on her? Why didn’t I go to her?
I knocked three times on her door and listened. Nothing. I stretched out
my senses. Still nothing. It was so quiet without her there. What had
happened?
I threw the door open and burst into the room. I glanced around, and she
was nowhere to be found. I threw the curtains back from the bed, and
everything was folded like she had never even been there. My breath was
coming quickly now, beating in and out of my lungs like drums.
A small sheet of paper lay across her pillow, and I picked it up, nearly
ripping it as I opened it.
Asher,
You told me that no one had ever chosen you.
This is me choosing you.
This is me choosing your life over mine.
Alys
I screamed then. I roared so loud I heard the windows rattle and felt my
blood boil. My shadows exploded around me, filling the room with Night.
My heart hadn’t been ripped out. It had been scorched, charred into nothing
but a black piece of meat that was only there to keep me alive. She had left
me. She had broken me. My body vibrated with the loss of her.
I ripped the curtains of the bed and then gripped one of the bedposts and
ripped it from the base. I swung it into her vanity, destroying it in a single
swing, and then threw it across the room where it shattered the window. I tore
at the bed, ripping at the sheets, the pillows, the mattress. Her scent flew
around me: spices, chocolate, oranges, her. Her scent filled every pore of my
body until it thrummed, and my magick rolled off me in waves. I could feel
the room shake with it.
 “What happened?” Emric yelled as he rushed through the doorway.
I stalked towards him and shoved the letter into his chest. I pushed past
him as he read it.
“Get the guards out now. We search the entirety of this court!” My voice
echoed off the halls as I walked through them. Emric followed me, handing
the note back to me. I stopped and stared at it a moment before taking it and
shoving it into a pocket. “I want you to get every single fucking man we have
available. I want every road, every forest, and every town checked
thoroughly. We don’t stop until we find her.”
“Ash.” He grabbed my shoulder. I looked down at his hand and then up at
him. I knew my eyes were cold and black. “Does she want to be found? You
know where she is going.”
“I don’t care if she doesn’t want to be found. I will not let her walk into
her death.” I took a breath. “We still don’t know if she actually left alone or if
she was coerced. I should never have left her alone. Not after last night.” I
shrugged his hand off and stalked down the hall. “And have the guard in
charge of patrol meet me in the stables. Immediately.”
Emric went off to do as I ordered, and I was left alone with my thoughts.
I flexed and unflexed my hands over and over again, willing my temper back
into place before I brought down the entire castle with my bare hands. I rolled
my neck as I made my way down the grand staircases.
I could still feel her on my skin. I could feel her smooth fingertips run
their way up my arms and then scratch their way down my back. I could feel
the bite of her teeth against my lips, the taste of her blood coating my tongue.
The taste of her coating my tongue. That wild, stubborn, ravenous little thing
was my mate. And I would be damned if I let her slip out of my grasp.
I should’ve known to not leave her alone. I should’ve taken her questions
on the way home more seriously. I should’ve stayed with her, kept her in my
bed and in my arms so that she didn’t have a choice but to remain here.
Proud, self-sacrificing little creature. I would get her back and never let her
go.
The chill whipped around me as I stepped outside and made my way out
to the stables. Emric and the guard were close behind as I arrived. I glanced
around, looking to see if maybe she had risked taking a horse. Would’ve been
brave of her with her lack of riding skills, but every avenue had to be
explored.
“You and Emric will take horses and go around the perimeter,” I
addressed the guard. “I want her tracks found. Immediately. I will be in the
skies. How are we on getting the rest of the guard moving?”
“Will be ready within the next five minutes, Your Highness,” the guard
said and bowed.
“You were in charge of the patrol tonight, and you let her slip through
your fingers.” I stepped closer, my shadows creeping around his legs, higher,
higher, until they found his throat. His eyes bulged, and his breaths
quickened. “Are you on their payroll?”
“No! No, sir!” he wheezed. I squeezed tighter against his throat, my
shadows coiling as tightly as a snake might. “I swear it to you!”
I let him go, and he dropped to the ground. “Get your shit together and
find her.”
With that, I spread my wings and took to the air in a swift thrust. I shot
into the cold air until I was high enough that I could see the entire
surrounding area around the castle. My vision wasn’t good enough to be able
to see tracks that high up, but I could try to look for movement on the roads
or through the trees.
I breathed deep, trying to catch her scent on the wind. How long had it
been since she left? How long had it been since I jolted awake, knowing she
was gone? At least thirty minutes. If she was traveling with Aoife, they could
be far enough away now that I wouldn’t smell her, wouldn’t be able to taste
her on the air.
I surveyed the land and saw nothing. Without waiting for the guards to
get moving and Emric to find her tracks, I started making circles, tightly
around the castle and slowly getting wider and wider until I had encircled all
of the grounds with nothing but silence.
“I went around the back where we normally train since there’s access to
the outside while he checked the front. We both came up empty, Asher. She’s
covered her tracks somehow.” I looked over at him where he suddenly
hovered to my right. “The other guards have mobilized and are out looking
for her.”
We both descended back to the ground, landing with hard thuds before I
stalked back towards my now empty home. Mavka was standing in the
doorway, wringing her hands in her simple nightdress.
“I’m so sorry,” she started as I approached her. I took her hands in mine.
“This is not your fault, Mav,” I said, trying to soothe her nerves. “We will
get her back.”
 She worried her lip but nodded. “She wouldn’t have left you without
encouragement.” I scoffed and walked past her into the corridor, Emric hot
on my heels. I saw her glance at him, and then her gaze landed on me. “You
can huff all you want. But I’m telling you, she would not have left this place
or you without someone either forcing her or giving her a way out.”
I ran my hands through my hair and down over my face, my scruff
scratching my palms.
“I’m going to get her.”
“Of course you are,” she said with all the confidence in the world. “Go
upstairs, figure out a plan, and I’ll bring you some food and some coffee to
kick off the hangover you’re already wearing.” She glanced back at Emric
again, and I didn’t like the way she looked at him. I felt my brows crease.
“The both of you.”
“Thank you, Mav,” I said as she made her way to the kitchen.
“Go get our girl, Asher.”
I nodded and watched her stalk off, shoulders slightly hunched with age,
grey hair swinging in a braid behind her. The closest thing I ever had to a
mother after what happened to my own. I looked back to Emric, who was
standing there, waiting for me to give an order.
“Upstairs. Now. Summon the advisors. We’re going to get her.”

You can pre-order book 2 here now!

 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thank you again to my readers. Going through this process has been insane.
It has cost me a lot of time and tears but it was all worth it to see you all react
to my words. I love telling you stories and I hope I never have to stop.

To Michelle, Happy Birthday! You inspired so much of what this story is and
I can never thank you enough. Your endless support is something I will never
take for-granted. Thank you for being my inspiration for the spitfire that is
Aoife. (Also, great name choice.)

To Becca, thank you for reading this chapter by chapter. Thank you for
putting up with me talking about it every night after everyone else had left
work. It was in those moments that I came up with all my best ideas. Thank
you for your endless encouragement. I couldn’t have done this without you.

To Amber, I seriously cannot thank you enough. You will be thanked in

every freaking one of my books because your endless patience and guidance
deserves so much more than I can ever give you. Thank you for eagerly
reading everything I send your way.

To my group chat once again, thank you. Thank you for your encouragement,
for squeezing every single word out of my brain, and for letting me complain
and rage about these characters. Also, I’d like to apologize to Stevie and
Jacky for nearly giving you both a heart attack when I “joked” about book
two….because that’s totally all it was….a joke….

To my aunt, who never got to see any of my stories published. You were
always there to encourage me to be who I wanted to be. Looking back, I think
you were my biggest fan and I can’t believe I ever took that for granted. You
were the sunshine in all of our lives and I miss you every single minute of
every single day. I hope wherever you are you are able to see what I’m doing
and I hope I’m making you proud. Just, please, ignore the smut.

AC Graphics was the cover artist and I cannot brag on this enough. Good lord
this cover is everything and more than I could have ever asked for. I cannot
wait to work with you on the next cover in the series. Thank you so, so much
for bringing my story to life in the form of a cover.

To Sandra, thank you for your endless patience with my comma splices.
Thank you for making sure my books are as perfect as they can be. Your little
notes you leave throughout crack me up (whether they’re yelling at me or the
characters). I’m so happy I found you and I can’t wait to continue working
with you on future projects.
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dana Isaly is a writer of dark romance, fantasy romance, and has also been known to dabble in poetry
(it was a phase in college, leave her alone).
She was born in the Midwest and has been all over but now resides (begrudgingly) in Alabama. She
is a lover of books, coffee, and rainy days. Dana is probably the only person in the writing community
that is actually a morning person.
She swears too much, is way too comfortable on her TikTok, and believes that love is love is love.
You can find her on Instagram (@danaisalyauthorpage) or on Facebook with the same name.
Honestly though, the best place to get in touch with her is on TikTok (@authordanaisaly) because she
isn’t great with any other social media.
 ALSO BY DANA ISALY

Flame and Starlight 2

Scars (The Triad Series Book 1)

Liars (The Triad Series Book 2)

Games We Play
(Will also be available in audiobook with narration by vo.Eros)