"A LETTER TO MYSELF"

By MELISSA PAIZ

But there is a tomorrow that you dread and worry about

The clock strikes three in the morning and I find myself Because you think it will be the same
still awake There is no sunshine there is just rain
Tossing and turning Hoping for a love so dear and a future so bright
Thinking and thinking about the day that awaits. Can I run away from my fears
My mind is against me Don’t I have that right
But my heart tells me to be strong. So here it is, a letter from me to me
It tells me that I will eventually find my euphoric key - A letter I must not burn
I just need to hold on. A letter that I need
There are reasons why people live on and face the No matter the hell on earth
mundane Or the uncertainty of the unknown
And sometimes bleak hours of this thing we call life. I must prevail
There are reasons we enjoy the sunrise, We must prevail
Every morning bird’s song, A legacy must be left behind
And how some people push the thought of suicide away So I must,
and put down the knife. We must,
The laughter loved one’s cause, Stand up,
The warmth of a hug and a sweet late night kiss, Dream big,
It is in these moments that the wounded souls find bliss. And rise.
I've written words of hatred towards myself for many
years,
Words that I'd never call anyone else,
Words filled with anger and fears.
Dear me who has pushed through pain,
Attempted ending of all,
And has built an indestructible wall to protect what's left
of a broken person.
You love so much and yet never give the same amount
to yourself
You help other when they fall,
But you hurt yourself instead of asking for help
You see all of your faults and tear yourself down,
You continue this cycle until you start to drown.
Why can’t you see what other see
Why do you beat yourself up
And say “What will be, will be”
It may seem pointless and worthless
But you beat the odds before and have set your self free
Yes, you always get caught and caged
That does not stop you from dreaming of that stage
Where your hope is telling you, you will escape again
Where your family is cheering for you
And so are your friends
The spark inside of you has become weak
And its motivation and courage that you see
There have been nights when you have cried
And have buried your sorrows and have said you have
tried