How do experienced people do it

Adeseye Lowal-Solarin: We all have to deal with difficult conversations from time to time at work
and in everyday life. Let us now hear from some experienced communicators who talk about how
they deal with such challenges. They will explain some of their methods for managing difficult
conversations in the workplace.

How do you hold impactful conversations with colleagues when there is an

issue?
Keji Mustapha: What are the common goals? What are you working on? What are you trying to
achieve together as a collective? And start from there. So when you sit down and you're trying to
navigate whatever disagreement has happened, just start with open questions and start with actively
listening. What is it that you're trying to achieve as a company? What is it you're trying to achieve as
a team? And go from there.

Dana Denis-Smith: The way things go wrong at work is when they're not being discussed really
quickly. So rule number one, is you don't let it fester and you don't let it go on for too long. If there is a
discomfort, if there is a need, raise it straight away.

Ideally, for any kind of things that are really maybe more uncomfortable to discuss, through say,
email or whatever, always arrange a face to face meeting, I think. It's always very helpful to have that
moment of what is the problem, how can I help? We're here to help you.

But again, you've got to bring it to somebody's attention. Nobody will know what's in your head.
You've got to express your need in whichever way you can express it.

How can learners prepare for communicating their needs at work?

Keji: In order to communicate your needs at work, I would say start with self-reflection. Be honest
and clear with yourself about what your needs are. And then from there, just have a conversation.
Life is just about relationships, so don't overcomplicate it. Just have a conversation and bring the
human side to work.

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Jamie Harrison: What people can sometimes forget is that people have personal lives away from
work. And because of the way that society has changed and we're much more open about difficult
issues, such as whether it's climate change or whether it's gender equality, the people in work today
have to be open to having conversations about things that wouldn't traditionally have been seen as
ready for business in previous lives, or even six or seven years ago.

So I think one of my words of wisdom, really, is be open to having any conversation in the workplace.
Because if you close something down, it can reflect badly on you. So be ready for anything which is a
very, very open statement. But I think being as open as possible is really important to underpinning
effective communication.

How do you build your listening skills?

Keji: If you want to improve your listening skills, start with not thinking about what you're going to say
while the person is speaking. Just that. That's really simple, just really be listening to what they're
saying. And if you want to be sure you've really heard what they're saying, just play it back and just
say something as simple as, "just so I'm clear, I want to be sure that I heard you correctly when you
said x, y, and z", and then go from there.

Dana: Listening is definitely a very important skill today because again, we've got so much noise and
you have to really crystallize what it is that you are hearing, what you're being asked to do so that you
are effective in what you end up doing for your employer.

So being good at... it's very good, and I think a lot of organizations really value opinions, value
personality, and increasingly, authenticity is really important. But similarly, it's important to be able to
do what you're asked to do.

So listening is a really important skill. It doesn't take away from your personality. Everybody has their
own way of doing their job, but it is important that you end up doing what you're being asked. So for
that, listening is really important.

Jamie: Try not to take any preconceptions into a conversation that you're driving. Leave space for
people to speak. And make sure you listen hard, because there's usually nuances in what people say
that indicate how people really feel that if you don't feel like they're actually speaking their mind, or
when you listen hard and can pick up on those nuances, it allows you to better speak in a way that
someone else is speaking. But also maybe making the odd note on a certain phrase that someone
uses and trying to use that in a similar way to the way that they phrase something and putting it in
your context, to help them understand your point of view.

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