Sit Down, ShutUp,Behave ..
It's afootball game, not a party and thoseglasses aren't even yours
CaH me shal-
low,butexclud-
ing the obvious
(like family and
friends), my
Bvlgari sun-
Merritt glasses were
Patterson my favorite
thing on Earth,
. my most prized
possession. The pair was
still stunning at 53 weeks
post-purchase, and for that
I loved them. They were the .
kind of accessory that you
could throw on with last
night's jeans and dirty hair
and still look very Parkie .
on the soccer field. -But all
of that came to a screeching
halt at-the Scot's football
game last' Friday night in a
tragic event that led to me
wearing $20 shades from
Cotton Island today.
Here's the deal, I've seen ing and shoving required to made a taser out of a dis- over to the after-game dance
the e-mails that have gone
out to parents asking them
. to monitor their kids at the
stadium. I've heard people
_ whine and complain about.
. some creepy person stole kids are causing an unsafe would you mind rummag-
. this week.
------_._--
the Park Cities youth out of efforts making homemade the joint.
control beneath the stands. posters and stapling them I'm sure we all agree that
I've traveled through to telephone poles begging the kids could still have a
crowds of teens at a snail's'
. for the safe' return of my really 'fun time while sit-
pace to get up the ramp and glasses, I'm going to focus ting down. But I don't think
never: thought twice about on the bigger picture. they're going to decide
it. But now it's personal. Dear Parents of Kids, to do that on their own, I
Somewhere between Running Wild at the Scots think we're going to have
carefully. placing my Games, make them do it. You know,
designer eyewear in the Not only did one of your . like make it a rule 'that they
case at sundown and leav,:. fashion-forward kids steal have to be respectful of the
ing the venue in the dark of my sunglasses, but accord- people around them. And
night, my Bvlgaris were kid- ing to Chief Gary Adams of it wouldn't hurt to remind
napped. I can only imagine the University Park Police them that it's a football game,
not a party because let's face
it, if the entire event were a
Not only did one of your little less chaotic, I might be
wearing my Bvlgaris today.
kids steal sunglasses, one
illy This new, cheap pair
presses on my temples and
,of them made a taser out of a the throbbing is getting to
me. So while I'm irritable, I'll
disposable camera and used it. also point out that at least 18
parents need an expanded
that in the ridiculous push- Department, one of them list of rules that will carry
maneuver from the lower posable camera and used it, ,at the high school. That's
level that someone reached which required all sorts of where nine Scots received
into my chic, yet. non-zip- emergency response. citations for minors in pos-
ping bag and grabbed them. . And even without the session of alcohol. And by
If I had been at a VanHalen taser incident or the sun- the way, if your kid was one
concert I'd understand that glasses catastrophe, the of those drinking that night,
them, and I'd move on sadly. environment by blocking ing through their stuff to see
But since I was in the Park major stadium arteries and if they happen to have an
Cities at a high school foot- loitering on the stairways. expensive and outrageously
ball game, I can only con- Fans can't just go to the rest- hot pair of sunglasses you
clude that some young girl room or get a Coke with- haven't noticed before?
has been' wearing a like- out enduring 30 minutes of Yours truly;
new pair of killer shades being slammed into gangs Merritt
of overly.lip glossed girls in -
But instead of wasting my Juicy with free reign' over