How To Divorce Without Hurting Your Kids

When your marriage is over, it feels like your world is spinning out of control. You can’t sleep.
You can’t eat. And the worst part is that you have to tell your kids that their family has crumbled
before them. But how do you divorce without hurting your kids?

Divorce is never easy, but there are things you can do to help lessen the blow for your children.
From minimizing contact with the other parent to connecting with others in similar situations,
here are some tips to help you divorce without hurting your kids.

Connect with others in similar situations

You may feel like there’s no hope for your marriage, but your divorce is just a temporary
setback. There are people all over the world who have gone through this same experience.

Think about how to divorce without hurting your kids while minimizing any impact on your
children. Share custody and keep your kids out of the middle. If you can keep the kids out of it,
keeping them updated on the divorce won’t hurt them.

If you decide to divorce, it’s best to be upfront about it from the beginning. Doing this can help
you work through issues and avoid potential fights and angry divorce. This will make things
easier for you to handle your kids during divorce.

Connect with others through online communities or blogs to find resources that can help you
through this difficult time. Talking to the people, you will find many of your answers and clear all
your doubts.

Talk to your children about the divorce

Once you’ve decided to divorce, the next step is to explain what’s going on to your kids. They
must understand that they will still have a relationship with both of their parents. Here are some
tips for talking to your kids about the divorce:

Start by talking about divorce in very general terms. Once you tell them that you guys are
divorcing, you will likely start by saying that you and your husband need to work out some things
about your marriage, and so you’re going to have to live separate lives now.

Once you’ve explained this in a very general way, move on to talking about how you will still talk
to him about school and you will have a relationship with him as he lives his life.
Create a plan for custody favorable for your kid
Child custody is a very important matter after divorce. Sending your kids away from you to live
with your divorced husband/wife is never easy. It feels like you are going far away from your
kids.

So, to avoid such a situation, you and your partner can create a plan for your child’s custody
and visitation. If you both want to stay connected with your kids all the time, you can share the
custody of your kids. It will also be beneficial for your kids.

Besides, kids may have their expectations that can feel different than yours. Here are some
things to keep in mind when making this major life transition:

Make it easy on them. Your kids may not understand why your marriage ended, but they will
have plenty of questions. Make sure you are as prepared as possible to answer those
questions. You don’t want to add more pain or confusion by telling them the truth.

Communicate well when you get a new custody schedule, make sure you talk to the other
parent and make sure they are on the same page.

Motivate them to stay positive!

Divorce is tough on anyone. Don’t spend your last days despondent about the end of your
marriage. Show your kids you’re fighting to stay together and not fighting to get divorced. This
starts in the early stages of a divorce.

Your kids have the right to the reasons behind your divorce, but long-winded reasons can create
confusion for them. Be honest and humble when you are going, to tell the truth. Make them feel
positive as much as you can about your divorce. Convince them it is going to be alright.

Help them to maintain good mental health

You want to divorce your kids’ dad or mom, but will they notice? They won’t, but your kids will
notice you’re upset. Don’t make their well-being an afterthought in your decision-making
process.

Focus on keeping themself in good health, mentally and physically, when you’ve to make the
decision. Don’t let them back down. Help them to release the fear and prevent them from
hurting themselves.

Encourage your kids to share their feelings whether it is good or bad. But do not let them feel
that they are all alone. It is important to keep them motivated and make them strong mentally.
Otherwise, the shock of your divorce will affect their mental health.
Provide emotional support
You probably feel like you have failed as a parent. Your partner was supposed to be the anchor
that held the family together, and now that anchor has collapsed under the weight of a shattered
marriage.

It can be hard for your kids to handle such a crisis without help. They may be in great pain after
hearing the news of your divorce. So, emotional support is necessary for them to overcome
such situations.

You can also turn to a child-counselling program to get support from a professional. Don’t jump
right into the kids When you file for divorce, it might feel like their world has collapsed. You and
your partner don’t want to do this, but you have no choice.

Keep balance in family life

After divorce, it is important to keep balance in family life to run all the things smoothly. You
have to convince your family and kids that divorce is the only option that can ease all the issues
and put an end to your miseries.

Sometimes, it becomes hard to make them understand that divorce can bring good things. If
there is a bitter relationship between you and your partner, divorce can be a good option for
both of you. But you have to keep in mind that your family is also directly involved in this. So,
whatever you do, try to keep a balance situation in your family.

Conclusion
Divorce is never easy, but there are ways you can minimize the emotional and psychological
damage to your children. Working with your kids’ school counselor, a qualified therapist, or other
family friends, or your therapist can help keep the whole family moving forward.