Going the

DIST
ANCE
Dating in college is hard enough
without adding distance as a factor.
So what is the secret to bridging the gap?

Going the extra mile...

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C ollege is by far the most interesting dating experiences you
will have. In high school, you usually
hear all the gossip about someone before you
even go on a date with them. By the time you
are “official” you know everything short of
their social security number.
But in college, it’s a whole new ball
In reality, long
game (excuse the cliché ). You are thrown
together with a whole new group of people
who you know absolutely nothing about,
except what they tell you. Scary huh? The real
kicker is, you could end up falling in love with
someone who lives on the opposite coast as
you simply because you are both at the same
school on athletic scholarships. Or maybe
you might find your soul mate in the foreign
exchange student down the hall.
It’s hard to understood how couples
who meet in college, and begin their relationships living within
“WE MADE IT LAST!”
Readers talk about how they made
their long distance relationships work.
“We communicated...”
“My sophomore year of college I
lived at home while my boyfriend
was at school an hour away. We
would text each other from the time
we woke up until we went to bed. We
would play silly games like ‘would
you rather’ and ‘1000 questions’. We
never ran out of things to talk about
and learned a lot about one another
we probably wouldn’t have any other
way...”
Katie, 24
walking distance of one another, manage to stay together when
“
distance
relationships
are hard.
”
what the scoop really is on loving from a distance.
“ We worked together...”
“Aaron and I were apart because of
the military. He was in Germany.
Not only did the 6 hour time dif-
ference make it very dificult, but he
was without a phone and broke his
laptop. We worked together with
communication and trust. It makes
you grow so much as a person and
a couple...”
Paige, 21
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they have to return home during the summers.
Three months isn’t an eternity, but it is still a sub-
stantial amount of time to destroy a relationship.
The biggest mistake a couple can make when
entering a long distance relationship is believing
that their love is all they need to make it through.
Unfortunately, that is only the case in movies.
In reality, long distance relationships
are hard, even for the most mature couple. You
hear countless stories of couple who didn’t make
it through the summer because one, or even
both couldn’t handle the distance. But, there are
always those few “lucky” ones you would travel
back and forth to see one another and are still
dating when it’s time to go back to school.
So what does it take to make a long dis-
tance relationship work? Read on to find out just
“We stayed positive...”
“My boyfriend and I were unable to
see each other for 3 months because I
am dating a mixed guy and my dad is
racist. It was really hard on both of us.
We lived an hour apart and neither of us
had a car. We would talk on the phone
every night about how it would be when
we finally got to see each other. We told
each other that we would always stick
by each other’s side. My mom eventually
divorced my dad because of it...”
Andrea, 18
10 Tips
to making your long distance relationship work.
V isit as often as possible.
Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A
relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and

A sk the important questions, set clear parameters.

personal every chance you get.

Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, en-
gaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive are crucial. These can be difficult

D o things together.
and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line.

Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it’s important to do other things together besides the usual
phone call. People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather
doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV

C ommunicate everyday, as often as possible.

show or movie simultaneously.

Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to maintain an emotional connection. These don’t always
have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. You may

T ake advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers.

discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand, you don’t take communication for granted!

Spend more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over small things, the pleasure of seeing your
sweetheart again after a long absence. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your

A void the temptation to be controlling.

individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in

T alk about your future together.

being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference.

Discuss what each of you want from the relationship and where you think it’s headed. This will you keep you

A void jealousy and be trusting.

both on track and give you a common goal to work towards.

One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama.
When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if

B e positive.
you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise.

Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to

R emember that you’re still in a relationship.

keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content.

You HAVE to be there for your partner. If your partner is ever in trouble, or hurt, or whatever, you have to be
there for them. Make sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they need you. If they end
up dealing with everything alone, they will eventually not need you. And sometimes, distance permitting of
course, that means being actually, physically there for them.
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 Is a long distance
relationship for you?
Long distance relationships can make you stronger as a
person and a couple-but they aren’t for everybody. Watch for
these signs that you’re not cut out for loving from a distance.

X You are too trusting.

X You hate to travel.

X You aren’t independent
enough

X You’ve had previous long

distance relationships fail.

“ Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the

bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend
a lot of time alone in exchange for a little
time with the one they love. It’s for those
knowing a good thing when they see it,

”
even if they don’t see it nearly enough…


-Anonymous
k

fun things to do together...even when you’re not together!

1. WATCH MOVIES 2. PLAY GAMES
Agree on a movie to rent, set a
3. READ A BOOK Choose a book you both will Whether it’s online multiplayer
time and then connect to one enjoy and agree to read a games or something as simple
another so you can comment to chapter every night. Call one as 1000 questions or truth or
one another on the movie as it’s another to discuss what you’ve dare, games can make your
happening just as you would if read, you will never run out of everyday conversations fun and
you were together! things to talk about! exciting!

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