Active Listening

Module One: Defining Active Listening

This Module Will Cover:

 What is Active Listening
 Identify Good Listeners
 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

What is Active Listening?

Active listening means that we try to understand things from the speaker’s point of view. It includes
letting the speaker know that we are listening and that we have understood what was said. This is not
the same as hearing, which is a physical process, where sound enters the eardrum and messages are
passed to the brain. Active listening can be described as an attitude that leads to listening for shared
understanding.

When we make a decision to listen for total meaning, we listen for the content of what is being said as
well as the attitude behind what is being said. Is the speaker happy, angry, excited, sad…or something
else entirely?

Responding to Feelings

The content (the words are spoken) is one thing, but the way that people feel really gives full value to
the message. Responding to the speaker’s feelings adds an extra dimension of listening. Are they
disgusted and angry or in love and excited? Perhaps they are ambivalent! These are all feelings that you
can reply to in your part of the conversation.

Reading Cues
Active listening means that we are also very conscious of the non-verbal aspects of the conversation.
 What are the speaker’s facial expressions, hand gestures, and posture telling us?
 Is their voice loud or shaky?
 Are they stressing certain points?
 Are they mumbling or having difficulty finding the words they want to say?
 Does their body language indicate that they are uncomfortable or feeling like their message is
not being heard?

Active listeners watch for these cues and adjust their approach accordingly. Sometimes just taking one
step back, or ceasing talking and getting the other person to talk to you instead, will be all it takes to
ease the tension.

Demonstrating Listening

When you are listening to someone, these techniques will show a speaker that you are paying attention,
providing you are genuine in using them.

Physical indicators include making eye contact, nodding your head from time to time, and leaning into
the conversation.

You can also give verbal cues or use phrases such as “Uh-huh,” “Go on,” “Really!” and, “Then what?”

You can ask questions for clarification or use summarising statements. Examples:
 “Do you mean they were charging $4.00 for just a cup of coffee?”
 “So after you got a cab, got to the store, and found the right sales clerk, what happened then?”
Identifying Good Listeners

You’re present
Good listeners stay in the moment; right there with you. They are not on their phones, thinking about
tonight’s dinner or multi-tasking.

You’re attentive
As well as being present, you show good attentiveness by maintaining good eye contact and watch for
visual cues from your conversation partner. You also make occasional small verbal gestures of an
agreement such as ‘uh-huh’, ‘yes’, ‘mmmm’.

Note that these are not necessarily agreement with what the person is saying, but agreement and
encouragement in them speaking.

We’ve all heard that the vast majority of communication comes from body language, rather than what’s
actually being said and good listeners are supremely aware of this and act accordingly.

You’re patient
Listening is a discipline. Sometimes the person speaking to you will ramble, not be 100% clear or will
quite simply bore you. A good listener moves past all this and draws the person out.

The funny thing is, when we know we are attentively, carefully listened to, we relax, feel ‘safe’ and are
able to open up in a more eloquent and interesting way. This is one of the reasons why a good listener,
by saying nothing; can really bring about great conversation and make the other person more
interesting and also more interested in you; a win-win.

You’re open-minded
If you approach listening to someone with your own preconceptions and self-righteousness in your
head, you are not a good listener. Great listeners are able to at least entertain another point of view (i.e.
without prejudgement) and hold loosely in their minds their own perspective on the conversation topic.
You’re Inquisitive
The best listeners ask questions and draw out more from the points the other person speaks about.

It doesn’t have to be super-clever topic related questions; a simple ‘tell me more’ or ‘what is important
about that’ for example are fantastic signals of being interested and a good listener.

You’re not defensive

If the other person says something that rattles you or pushes your buttons, you are able to maintain
open channels of communication and still listen to what they are saying.

Your body language is positive

Good eye contact, an open body stance, facing towards your conversation partner and nodding and
smiling intermittently all show that you’re all ears and listening attentively.

You’re empathic
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Are you good at this?

You feedback key points

Being able to accurately relay back to a person in your own words what they’ve said and their key points
make a person feel very heard and understood.

You’re authentic
Above all, you are authentic and genuine in your desire to hear what the other person has to say. It is
easy to go through the motions of many of the above points, but if you do this, the other person will
intuitively pick up on this, and the conversation will not be as rich or satisfying for either person.
Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

Active Listening Tip

Make a decision to listen. Close your mind to clutter and noise and look at the person speaking
with you. Give them your undivided attention.

Don’t interrupt people. Make it a habit to let them finish what they are saying. Respect that they
have thoughts they are processing and speaking about, and wait to ask questions or make
comments until they have finished.

Keep your eyes focused on the speaker and your ears tuned to their voice. Don’t let your eyes
wander around the room, just in case your attention does too.

Carry a notebook or start a conversation file on your computer. Write down all the discussions that
you have in a day. Capture the subject, who spoke more (were you listening or doing a lot of the
talking?), what you learned in the discussion, as well as the who, what, when, where, why, and how
aspects of it. Once you have conducted this exercise eight to ten times, you will be able to see at
what level your listening skills are.

Don’t be afraid to ask the other person what they want from the conversation. Are they looking
for advice, validation, an opinion, or just an opportunity to vent? Knowing what they want will help
you structure your listening approach to effectively communicate with them.

Ask a few questions throughout the conversation. When you ask, people will know that you are
listening to then and that you are interested in what they have to say. Your ability to summarise and
paraphrase will also demonstrate that you heard them.

When you demonstrate good listening skills, they tend to be infectious. If you want others to
communicate well, you have to set a high example.
 Module Two: Body Language Basics

This Module Will Cover:

 Body Language Basics
 The Signals People Send
 Gestures

Body Language Basics

When you are listening to others, it’s important that you pay attention to what your body is saying and
ensure that it reflects a positive listening attitude. Do you lean forward slightly to indicate that you are
listening? Do you avoid the temptation to roll your eyes or make other negative gestures?

In a significant (though often misinterpreted) research, Albert Mehrabian found that when it came to
discussing emotions, only 7% of the speaker’s message was communicated by words, and that tone of
voice was responsible for about 38% of the meaning and body language about 55%. This means that the
words; themselves played only a very small part in conveying meaning. In other conversations (not the
ones about emotions), we know that tone of voice and body language have a large impact on those
messages, too.

We are always sending signals to others, whether we like it or not. Body language combined with vocal
tone can override or even cancel the meaning of the words we say. If you want your messages
understood, make sure your words and your body are sending congruent signals.
Here are some things to keep in mind about body language:

 Your eyes, eyebrows, and mouth send out the signals that can make a world of difference.

 People who smile are happier than those who do not. Smiling releases a chemical in your brain
that makes you feel good. It is a great way to establish a rapport with listeners.
 Eye contact helps you carry your message to each person in the audience. It builds trust.
 Learn to speak with your hands. Draw lines in the air, make a point, count on your fingers, and
emphasise length and width.
 Work on appearing sincere and comfortable.

 Let your hands do what they want to do, as long as they do not get in your pockets, fiddle with
an object, or make obscene gestures to your audience.
 Your body posture affects your emotions and how you feel determining your posture. If you
are confident, happy and ready, your body will show it.

One of the most important things you can do with body language is learning how to recognise cues from
people that indicate you are making them uncomfortable. Ask yourself if you are doing what you can to
make the other person comfortable. Do you fidget, chew gum, click a pen, or check your watch
frequently? Are there other things that you do? If so, what message do you think you are sending?
If your conversation partner is doing any of these things while you talk, what could be going on?
 Rocking
 Leg swinging
 Tapping
These are the first signals of tension and indicate that the person feels intruded upon or nervous. If it
escalates, these signals are often followed by:

 Intermittent closing of the eyes

 Slight tucking of the chin into the chest
 Shoulder hunching
If you sensitise yourself to these simple cues, over time, people will have the experience of feeling more
relaxed, at ease and open with you (and to you).
Basically, learn to watch for signals, and then adjust your approach. Sometimes just taking one step
back, or ceasing talking and getting the other person to talk to you instead, will be all it takes to ease the
tension.
The Signals People Send

The chart below can be used as a guide to help you with some of the signals that people send.

Non-Verbal Communication Interpretation

Facial Expressions

Frown Displeasure, unhappiness

Smile Friendliness, happiness

Raised eyebrows Disbelief, amazement

Narrowed eyes Anger

Blushing Embarrassment

Eye Contact

Glancing Lack of interest

Steady Active listening, interest, seduction

Hand/Arm Gestures

Pointing finger Authority, displeasure, lecturing

Folded arms Not open to change, preparing to speak

Arms at side Open to suggestions, relaxed

Hands uplifted outward Disbelief, puzzlement, uncertainty

Body Postures

Fidgeting, doodling Boredom

Hands-on hips Anger, defensiveness

Shrugging shoulders Indifference

Squared stance or shoulders Problem-solving, concern, listening

Biting lip, shifting, jingling money Nervousness

Sitting on the edge of the chair Listening, great concern

Slouching in chair Boredom, lack of interest

Clothing

Business dress Authoritative, conservative

Sloppy attire Disrespect, lack of responsibility

Casual clothes Relaxation

Proxemics (Physical Space)

From physical contact to 18 inches Intimate space

From 18 inches to 4 feet Personal space

From 4 feet to 8 feet Social space

From 8 feet outward Public space

Voice Characteristics

Speaking loudly, quickly, and with clipped

Anger
enunciation

Monotone and downward inflexion Boredom

High pitch, fast rate, loud volume, and upward

Joy
Inflection

Status Symbols

Rare or expensive possessions High status

Prestigious titles High status

Gestures

We all interpret body language differently, and we can also feel differently about images. We are
influenced by past experiences, background, culture, and so on. Our feelings may be coloured by our
mood, or by memories associated with these images, so we cannot assume that others will interpret our
body language correctly.

A gesture is a type of non-verbal communication that is communicated through body language, with or
without speech. Gestures can be a challenging part of communication. If you travel around the world or
work with people from different cultures, you need to be aware of the multiple meanings to some
gestures. While finger-pointing is tolerated in some societies, it is a serious insult in others. While
putting your feet up on a coffee table is a sign of relaxation at home, it can be very offensive to your
guests if the bottoms of your feet are directed at someone.

Gestures

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 Module Three: Attitude is Everything!

This Module Will Cover:

 Understanding Sympathy and Empathy
 Creating the Right Mind-set
 Being Genuine

Understanding Sympathy and Empathy

As active listeners, we want to show others that we are listening while they are speaking. In the last
session, we talked about how our body language can help (or hinder) us in sending the right message.
Our attitude is another important part of a positive listening attitude.

It’s important to show respect and empathy while the other person is speaking. Empathy means
understanding the other person’s feelings and recognising what those feelings mean, including their
context. (Have you ever heard the metaphor that in order to understand someone fully, you need to
walk a mile in their shoes?)

Empathy is different from sympathy, which means feeling sorrow or pity for someone. While in some
situations sympathy is appropriate (for example, when someone is discussing the loss of a loved one), it
can often mean that you are judging the other person, which interferes with receiving the listener’s
message.

So how can we show empathy to others? Try to:

 Practice good listening skills, like focusing 100% on the other person and showing interest
through your body language.
 Use open questions rather than closed questions or statements. For example, instead of saying,
“That must make you feel really sad,” try asking, “How did that make you feel?”
 If appropriate and true, agree with what the other person is saying. For example, you might say,
“I can understand why you would feel hurt.”
 If you can’t agree with what they are saying, or understand where they are coming from, try to
validate their statement with a response like, “I am sure that others would feel the same way.”
 Let them know that you support them. Ask how you can help them or what they would like you
to do. If they just want you to listen, respect their wishes and refrain from giving them advice.
 If appropriate and true, offer encouragement. Telling someone that they are handling a difficult
situation well shows them that you are on their side.
 Avoid saying, “I know exactly how you feel.” A more appropriate way to express this feeling
might be to say, “I can empathise with how difficult it is to lose someone. My mother passed
away just last month.”
Creating the Right Mind-set

Establishing Your Frame of Reference

A frame of reference is a way in which we judge other people. We all make judgments about people,
but in order to really get the meaning of what’s going on, we need to be able to suspend those
judgments and let meanings come to us unfettered. A listener’s ability to suspend their frame of
reference is a critical and important skill because it can build their credibility and make them a more
effective communicator.

Your frame of reference is made up of your beliefs, assumptions, values, feeling, judgments, emotions,
advice, moods, thoughts, biases, and stress levels at any given moment. Because your frame of
reference is so personal and so deeply embedded, it is very difficult to practice suspending it on a
regular basis. We all often interpret reality from our own vantage point and react in a self-serving
manner.

Reframing the Situation

We have to learn to take others’ points of view and feelings, as well as our own, into consideration. This
is what we refer to as reframing: seeing things from a different point of view.

How can we do this? Try to:

 Put others before yourself
 Check things out before jumping to conclusions, making assumptions, or reacting emotionally
 Give others the benefit of the doubt

Suspension of belief is especially appropriate when others need to be understood in order for their
tension or stress to be defused.
Establishing Positive Intent

When you are listening to others, it’s always best to do so with what we call positive intent. Positive
intent includes the idea that you have a good reason for what you are saying and doing, and so do other
people. This can help you suspend judgment, listen fairly, and get the real meaning behind the message
that you’re hearing. In order to demonstrate your positive intent, avoid making negative assumptions
and statements, and focus on the future instead of the past.

Another aspect of positive intent, which also relates to reframing, is to accept that not everyone is
like you. People have strengths, and they also have limitations. Using empathy to connect with others
can help you see the situation from their point of view and suspend judgment.

Maintaining Focus

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be hard to give someone our undivided attention. Luckily, active
listening techniques can help us develop our focus.

To help you maintain your focus, use paraphrasing techniques and probing . These tools will also
help you make sure that you understand the speaker correctly and receiving the intended message.

In addition, when someone is speaking to you, make a point of focusing on what they are saying. Ask
questions to make sure that they know you are listening and to keep you engaged. If possible, turn away
from distractions like telephones and computer screens. You may even want to put your cell phone on
vibrate and stow it in your purse, pocket, or briefcase.
Being Genuine

Being genuine is an essential part of active listening, authentic relationships, and good communication.
Genuine is being real; not pretending to be someone or something else. For example, although it’s
important to try to empathise with others, sometimes you just won’t get where people are coming
from. If you agree with everything that they say, and it’s clear that you don’t actually feel that way, your
credibility will be lost, and your relationship with the other person will be damaged.

So how do you be genuine while being tactful and respectful? One easy technique is to frame validation
statements in a general way. Instead of saying, “I can see where you’re coming from,” you might say,
“I’m sure a lot of people would feel the same way.” With a general statement, you’re providing support
and empathy without compromising your position on the issue.

Your strategy also depends on your relationship with the other person. If the person who is speaking is a
close friend, you can be a bit more challenging and direct than you would be with an acquaintance. For
example, let’s say that you are listening to someone talk about how they were disciplined at work for
handing in an incomplete report. The fault is on everyone else: the accounting person who was late
delivering the figures, the manager who didn’t give them enough time, and even their slow, outdated
computer.

If this person is a colleague whom you are not close with, your best approach may be to use active
listening techniques and general validation statements. If it is someone that you are close with, you may
want to ask challenging questions and encourage them to think about their role in the situation.
Remember, we described active listening as an attitude that leads to listening for shared understanding.
Gently challenging the speaker can lead to a deeper, more thought-provoking discussion – if that is what
the speaker is looking for.
 Module Four: Encouraging Conversation

This Module Will Cover:

 What Is Said and What Is Heard
 Asking Questions
 Probing Techniques
 Paraphrasing Techniques

What Is Said and What Is Heard

The Communication Process

Often, what the listener is saying isn’t what we hear. Messages go through a complicated system of
filters and outside influences.

As active listeners, we need to understand these possible influences and to account for them.

The Ladder of Inference

One common and dangerous trap is what Chris Argyris calls a ladder of inference: a common mental
pathway of increasing abstraction that often leads to assumptions and misguided beliefs.
For example, let’s say that you are giving a presentation to your company’s senior management. One
manager (we’ll call him Stephen) is checking his BlackBerry, answering messages, and clearly disengaged
from your work. At the end of your comprehensive presentation, his only comment is to ask you for
more detailed information, in a report sent via e-mail.

You know that if you do prepare that information, it’s unlikely that Stephen will read it. Plus, all the
details are in your presentation. As you start brooding over this, you remind yourself that Stephen has
never shown any respect for you and that he did not want to hire you for this team. Clearly, Stephen
doesn’t know what he is doing, and by the time you take your seat at the table, you are thinking about
Stephen as a big jerk. You’ve also decided you are not going to create a special report for him; you’ll just
send him a summary of your presentation because he won’t read it anyways.

In those few seconds, before you take your seat, you have climbed all the way up the ladder! You did
start out with observable data (Stephen is at the presentation), and then added his behaviour
(distracted by his BlackBerry and answering messages). But then you added some meaning of your own:
that Stephen doesn’t respect you and didn’t want to hire you. Finally, you label Stephen as a jerk.

This process tends to take place very quickly, and most people aren’t even aware that they climb the
rungs of this ladder in their head. The only visible parts for anyone else are the observable events at the
bottom of the ladder and anything that you demonstrate at the top, where you’ve made your decision
about what to do. The discussion going on inside your mind (which you probably can’t or won’t
verbalise) and your journey up the rungs of the ladder are not visible to anyone else.

We can climb these ladders of inference very easily. The more I believe that Stephen does not support
me, the more likely it is that I am going to notice his unsupportive behaviour in the future. This becomes
a reflexive loop, where my beliefs will influence the data I am going to select the next time I see
Stephen.

There is naturally also a reflexive loop here for Stephen, where he will react to my antagonism. He is
quite likely working on some rungs on his own ladder, and before long, we could find it impossible to
work together.
So how do we try to step off of the ladder? To start, consider that what you witnessed in the meeting
was Stephen dealing with something else. Perhaps he was bored or distracted, or perhaps he was
checking his BlackBerry because of an emergency he had to deal with. Maybe he was interested in your
presentation, but the fact that you didn’t print a copy off for everyone led to his request for something
that he could look back on and refer to.

As a professional, it might have been best for you to find out if there really is a problem that you and
Stephen need to work out. What would happen if you asked him about the meeting? What if you asked
him for some feedback on your work and the efforts that you are putting into your projects? Would you
hear his answer?

Reflection: Using Your Own Experiences as a Resource

You can learn a great deal by increasing your awareness and giving some thought to situations where
you are on both ends of the communication spectrum (as a communicator and as a listener). Try writing
out an exchange with a co-worker, a troubling event, or even the scenario with Stephen above. Then,
set it aside for a week before you look at it. This will give you the time and distance needed to review it
clearly.
Asking Questions

Active listening is a two-way communication process. Knowing what questions to ask and how to ask
them is an essential skill for an active listener.

Closed questions can be answered with a single word or two or a simple yes or no. They can begin the
closing process in a conversation, or provide confirmation of detail, but they don’t usually lead to
gathering more information. Where most people need more practice is asking the open question,
where the listener is given a chance to explain, describe how they feel about an issue, or offer
suggestions.

Open questions give us more information because:

 They encourage other people to talk
 We get opinions and ideas from others
 They can help us determine if people have interpreted what we say correctly
 They can help us arrive at consensus much more readily

Open questions typically begin with a variation of the five W’s (who, what, when, where, why) or ask
how. Good open questions include:
 “What is your opinion?”
 “How do you think we should solve the problem?”
 “What would you do in my shoes?”
 “Tell me more about…”

Note: Be very careful about “why” questions. All too often, these questions sound like accusations, and
the listener immediately becomes defensive.

Some other good questions can include:

 What happened next?
 What do you think we can do about this?
 What would you like me to stop doing?
 What can I do to help you?
 Supposing we were to…?
 Can you help me understand where you’re coming from?
Probing Techniques

Many people are better at presenting their own point of view than they are at drawing out information
from others. Probing techniques can help you draw out information from the individual and help you
understand their side of the conversation.

One of the most common ways of probing is to ask an open question, such as:
 “Can you describe that more clearly?”
 “Would you give me a specific example of what you mean?”
 “What do you think we should do?”

The difficulty here is that if you ask too many of these probing questions, the other person begins to feel
like they are under interrogation. Be thoughtful about what and how you ask. Consider how many
probes you really need to offer.

A second, very effective way of probing is a pause. Stop talking. Let the other person fill the silence.

A third way is to ask a reflective, echoing, or mirroring question . For example, let’s say the person
has just said, “What I really want is fairer vacation policies.” You may respond by just reflecting back to
them, “Fairer?” The reflective question usually provides you with an expanded answer without you
needing to ask more questions. Of course, it is best used in conjunction with a pause.

A fourth method that is particularly useful to make certain you are clear about what the individual has
said is paraphrasing what has just been said, in your own words. (We’ll discuss paraphrasing more in
the next session.)

The last method, most often used as a conversation is winding down, is the summary question.
Example: “You have tried ignoring the scent of your colleague’s cologne, you have talked with him about
how it affects your allergies, and you have tried shutting your door to keep the scent from your
workspace. None of these has worked, and now you are asking me to intervene. Have I got it right?”
Paraphrasing Techniques

What is Paraphrasing?

Paraphrasing techniques can help you ensure that you’re getting the speaker’s message accurately and
completely. Paraphrasing can also help build the relationship since it shows the sender that you are
trying to understand what they are saying.

Paraphrasing is not:
 Repeating everything that the person says
 Acting like a parrot and repeating everything verbatim
 An opportunity to express judgment (by speaking in a sarcastic tone, for example)

To paraphrase well, you should:

 Paraphrase only when you need clarification or confirmation
 Put the statement in your own words, rather than using the speaker’s words
 Use introductory statements like, “Do you mean…” or, “What I’m hearing is…”
 Refrain from making judgments, injecting your own thoughts, and offering your opinion

Echoing Techniques

Another excellent technique is echoing, also known as reflective or mirroring questions. (We discussed
these types of questions briefly in the last session.) With this technique, you choose a word (or several
words) from the person’s statement and repeat it. You can also use stems like:
 Really?
 Is it/are they?
 About…?
 What did she do?
 Module Five: Building Relationships

This Module Will Cover:

 Building Common Ground
 NLP Tips and Tricks

Building Common Ground

Setting the Stage

It can be difficult to have a meaningful conversation without a sense of mutual trust, respect, and an
understanding of the relationship between the speaker and the listener. Understanding what rapport is,
and how to create it, is the first step to creating an authentic conversation.

About Rapport

Rapport has been defined as a sense of mutual understanding, respect, and friendliness. It is the
presence of a co-operative relationship based on trust and honesty.

Rapport means showing someone that you understand and respect them as a human being and that you
support them. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything that they say, but you can
understand where they are coming from and why they believe in particular things.

It is important to understand when it is appropriate to create rapport and how deeply you want it to go.
Let’s say that you are a telephone customer service representative. You probably want to create a good
rapport to help the customer solve their problem, but since your interaction will be short, you don’t
need to get to a deeply personal level. And, if you are negotiating, you might need to break rapport in
order to make the best decision.
Finding Common Ground

Whether you are in a customer service role or a manager about to have a conversation with one of your
staff, finding common ground helps to establish rapport. Some of us really struggle with small talk, but
you will find that it is a helpful skill in finding common ground – something you share with the other
person.
In the customer example, if they call to tell you that a product has broken and they are frustrated,
simply saying, “I understand. I don’t like it when things break either. It’s really annoying. Let me see how
I can help you,” lets the person know that you get frustrated when things are broken. If you went to the
same school, both love animals or have the same favourite restaurant, these things help to establish
common ground and provide a starting place for further conversations.

Using Humour

A funny anecdote or a joke can ease tensions, especially if the person is having difficulty expressing
themselves. As well, shared laughter can go a long way towards building common ground. However, be
sensitive when trying to lighten the mood. Never make fun of someone’s problems or feelings. If you’re
second-guessing whether to tell a joke, you should probably keep it to yourself.
NLP Tips and Tricks

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) concepts can help sensitise us to the speaker’s state and build
deeper relationships. NLP suggests that rather than simply making assumptions based on body
language, we can use body language as cues to help us adjust our behaviour to better connect with
others and understand their thinking processes.

Let’s look at some different states of mind and how we might recognise them.

Associated or Dissociated

Is the person you are communicating with involved in the conversation or somewhere else? Do they see
themselves from an internal perspective or as if they were outside themselves?

People who are associated (tuned into things):

 Usually, lean forward
 Are often animated, using gestures and imagery
 Might include more emotions in the conversation

People who are dissociated (tuned out of themselves or the conversation):

 Usually, lean backwards
 Use fewer gestures and practical language
 Often have a more objective approach

Both of these states can be useful. If you are facilitating mediation between team staff members who
are arguing, and where you must be neutral, a dissociated state might be useful. However, if you’re
actively listening to someone explain a problem, then an associated state will be more appropriate.
Towards or Away From

This state reflects whether we are looking towards what we want to achieve, or away from the goal and
at a problem that we are facing. In the Away From the state, we are often tense and negative, thinking
of the challenges that we are facing. In a Towards state, people are typically more relaxed with positive
body language.

Match/Mismatch

We all have a natural tendency towards antagonism or co-operation and friendliness. Those who
naturally match the environment around them can also often easily create rapport. They might
naturally fall into the same body language patterns as the person that they are communicating with.
They almost always try to build up and support people.

People who try to find the differences in others usually fall into body language and speech patterns that
are opposite of the person that they are communicating with. They might use expressions like:
 At odds with
 On the other hand
 Devil’s advocate

This is referred to as a mismatch state.

 Module Six: Getting Over Listening Roadblocks

This Module Will Cover:

 Problems and Solutions

Problems and Solutions

On paper, active listening sounds quite simple. Give the speaker your undivided attention; use body
language, cues, and questions to show that you are listening; and confirm understanding through
additional questions, paraphrasing, echoing, and probing.

However, plenty of things can get in the way of active listening. Distractions, our mind wandering, the
speaker getting off track, and our own judgments can interfere with the message that the speaker is
sending and our active listening efforts.

The evidence that shows why listening is difficult comes mainly from four sources: the message to be
listened to, the speaker, the listener, and the physical setting.

The Message

Content. Many learners find it more difficult to listen to a taped message than to read the same
message on a piece of paper, since the listening passage comes into the ear in the twinkling of an eye,
whereas reading material can be read as long as the reader likes.

The listening material may deal with almost any area of life. It might include street gossip, proverbs, new
products, and situations unfamiliar to the student. Also, in spontaneous conversation speakers
frequently change topics.

The content is usually not well organised.

In many cases, listeners cannot predict what speakers are going to say, whether it is a news report on
the radio, an interviewer’s questions, an everyday conversation, etc.

Messages on the radio or recorded on tape cannot be listened to at a slower speed. Even in
conversation, it is impossible to ask the speaker to repeat something as many times as the interlocutor
might like.

Linguistic Features. Liaison (the linking of words in speech when the second word begins with a vowel,
e.g., an orange /@nOrIndZ/) and elision (leaving out a sound or sounds, e.g., suppose may be
pronounced /sp@uz/ in rapid speech) are common phenomena that make it difficult for students to
distinguish or recognise individual words in the stream of speech. They are used to seeing words written
as discrete entities in their textbooks.

If listening materials are made up of everyday conversation, they may contain a lot of colloquial words
and expressions, such as stuff for material, guy for man, etc., as well as slang. Students who have been
exposed mainly to formal or bookish English may not be familiar with these expressions.
In spontaneous conversations, people sometimes use ungrammatical sentences because of nervousness
or hesitation. They may omit elements of sentences or add something redundant. This may make it
difficult for the listener to understand the meaning.

The Speaker

“In ordinary conversation or even in much extempore speech-making or lecturing we actually say a good
deal more than would appear to be necessary in order to convey our message. Redundant utterances
may take the form of repetitions, false starts, re-phrasings, self-corrections, elaborations, tautologies,
and apparently meaningless additions such as I mean, or you know.” This redundancy is a natural
feature of speech and may be either a help or a hindrance, depending on the students’ level. It may
make it more difficult for beginners to understand what the speaker is saying; on the other hand, it may
give advanced students more time to “tune in” to the speaker’s voice and speech style.

Learners tend to be used to their teacher’s accent or to the standard variety of British or American
English. They find it hard to understand speakers with other accents.
Spoken prose, as in news broadcasting and reading aloud written texts, is characterised by an even pace,
volume, pitch, and intonation. Natural dialogues, on the other hand, are full of hesitations, pauses, and
uneven intonation. Students used to the former kinds of listening material may sometimes find the
latter difficult to understand.

The Listener

Foreign-language students are not familiar enough with clichés and collocations in English to predict a
missing word or phrase. They cannot, for example, be expected to know that rosy often collocates with
cheeks nor to predict the last word will be something like rage when they hear the phrase he was in a
towering. This is a major problem for students.

Lack of sociocultural, factual, and contextual knowledge of the target language can present an obstacle
to comprehension because language is used to express its culture (Anderson and Lynch 1988).
Foreign-language learners usually devote more time to reading than to listening, and so lack exposure to
different kinds of listening materials. Even our college students majoring in English have no more than
four hours’ regular training per week.

Both psychological and physical factors may have a negative effect on perception and interpretation of
listening material. It is tiring for students to concentrate on interpreting unfamiliar sounds, words, and
sentences for long periods.

Physical Setting

Noise, including both background noises on the recording and environmental noises, can take the
listener’s mind off the content of the listening passage.
Listening material on tape or radio lacks visual and aural environmental clues. Not seeing the speaker’s
body language and facial expressions make it more difficult for the listener to understand the speaker’s
meaning.

Unclear sounds resulting from poor-quality equipment can interfere with the listener’s comprehension.
Some solutions
What can teachers do to help students master the difficulties?

Not all the problems described above can be overcome. Certain features of the message and the
speaker, for instance, are inevitable. But this does not mean that the teacher can do nothing about
them. S/he can at least provide the students with suitable listening materials, background and linguistic
knowledge, enabling skills, pleasant classroom conditions, and useful exercises to help them discover
effective listening strategies. Here are a few helpful ideas:

The Message

 Grade listening materials according to the students’ level, and provide authentic materials
rather than idealised, filtered samples. It is true that natural speech is hard to grade, and it is
difficult for students to identify the different voices and cope with frequent overlaps.
Nevertheless, the materials should progress step by step from semi-authenticity that displays
most of the linguistic features of natural speech to total authenticity, because the final aim is to
understand natural speech in real life.
 Design task-oriented exercises to engage the students’ interest and help them learn listening
skills subconsciously. As it is said, “Listening exercises are most effective if they are constructed
round a task. That is to say; the students are required to do something in response to what they
hear that will demonstrate their understanding.” She has suggested some such tasks: expressing
agreement or disagreement, taking notes, marking a picture or diagram according to
instructions, and answering questions. Compared with traditional multiple-choice questions,
task-based exercises have an obvious advantage: they not only test the students’ listening
comprehension but also encourage them to use different kinds of listening skills and strategies
to reach their destination in an active way.
 Provide students with different kinds of input, such as lectures, radio news, films, TV plays,
announcements, everyday conversation, interviews, storytelling, English songs, and so on.
Brown and Yule (1983) categorise spoken texts into three broad types: static, dynamic, and abstract.
Texts that describe objects or give instructions are static texts; those that tell a story or recount an
incident are dynamic texts; those that focus on someone’s ideas and beliefs rather than on concrete
objects are abstract texts. Brown and Yule suggest that the three types of input should be provided
according to the difficulties they present and the students’ level. They draw a figure, in which difficulty
increases from left to right, and, within any one type of input, complexity increases from top to bottom.
 Try to find visual aids or draw pictures and diagrams associated with the listening topics to help
students guess or imagine actively.

The Speaker

 Give practice in liaisons and elisions in order to help students get used to the acoustic forms of
rapid natural speech. It is useful to find rapidly uttered colloquial collocations and ask students
to imitate native speakers’ pronunciation.
 Make students aware of different native-speaker accents. Of course, strong regional accents are
not suitable for training in listening, but in spontaneous conversation native speakers do have
certain accents. Moreover, the American accent is quite different from the British and
Australian. Therefore, it is necessary to let students deal with different accents, especially in
extensive listening.
 Select short, simple listening texts with little redundancy for lower-level students and
complicated authentic materials with more redundancy for advanced learners. It has been
reported that elementary-level students are not capable of interpreting extra information in the
redundant messages, whereas advanced listeners may benefit from messages being expanded,
paraphrased, etc.
The Listener

 Provide background knowledge and linguistic knowledge, such as complex sentence structures
and colloquial words and expressions, as needed.
 Give, and try to get, as much feedback as possible. Throughout the course, the teacher should
bridge the gap between input and students’ response and between the teacher’s feedback and
students’ reaction in order to keep activities purposeful. It is important for the listening-class
teacher to give students immediate feedback on their performance. This not only promotes
error correction but also provides encouragement. It can help students develop confidence in
their ability to deal with listening problems. Student feedback can help the teacher judge where
the class is going and how it should be guided.
 Help students develop the skills of listening with anticipation, listening for specific information,
listening for gist, interpretation and inference, listening for intended meaning, listening for
attitude, etc., by providing varied tasks and exercises at different levels with different focuses.
 Final Verdict

Communication skills are at the heart of everything we do each day, whether at home, at work, or at
play. Active listening encompasses the best of communication, including listening to what others are
saying, processing the information, and responding to it in order to clarify and elicit more information.

Throughout this Active Listening course, you will learn to define active listening and its key components,
identify ways to become a better listener and common listening problems and solutions, use body
language to reflect a positive listening attitude, understand the difference between sympathy and
empathy, and when each is appropriate and create a listening mindset using framing, positive intent,
and focus, be genuine in your communications, understand the communication process along with
building relationships to create an authentic communication experience. This course is designed to help
you to ask questions, probe for information, and use paraphrasing techniques. Overall, this course will
help participants develop and practise their active listening skills.