Angela P.

Neri March 4, 2021

BSN 309 MAD RLE Act # 2

Reflection: Trust is to be earned, not given

 The word trust always seems to a commitment for me to be able to give it to
others when even I don’t have a trust to myself. Instead, I am more closely comfortable
with the word dependable, which I’m more capable of characterizing the other person to
be reliable in life. Hence, my sister who was the other participant I was able to
collaborate with for the activity, giving trust to her while I’m blindfolded wasn’t difficult for
me as it usually does. However, in all honestly, there is a slight feeling of skeptic that
my sister would joke around with the situation I’m in.
During those times I was being blindfolded, my awareness around my
surroundings spiked up than usual because safety became distant from me. I wasn’t
worried during the first few minutes since going around the house was laughable now.
But as time goes by, the jokes began to fade due to being fed up with it and we waited
for the 10-minute timer to ring. I felt a bit of uneasiness on what unexpected negative
things might occur. Some of these doubted and scared feelings was hard for me to
share about my experience on the activity with my sister. I was only able to share those
atypical feelings of being bored and getting dizzy. Exposing my bits of those useless
feelings for me was a shake for my vulnerability and wasn’t even considered option to
share with others.
Writing about these feelings into paper may sound making a big deal or
overthinking too much with such small meaningless thoughts. But this response has
become a habit of mine, especially when voicing out my opinions or sharing knowledge
during a class which affected my self-esteem. These kinds of doubts was also being
experienced by some of my classmates as we struggle together to cope up
academically and question ourselves if we can be a nurse, while reflecting with our low
performance in demonstrating those nursing skills and competency to provide a quality
care. I think these concerns also poses issues in general for college students their
capabilities to fit in the role of job they dream of in the future. Significantly, this can play
a vital role during clinical exposure in a psychiatric facility during the first duty of ours
since various factors externally may gave overwhelming expression. And doing so a
mistake during the first day that may possibly harm the client may scar myself to be
paranoid in my nursing actions. Therefore, I believe these feelings should be addressed
as part of our mental health in the context of personality development in order to boost
our self-esteem in our earned capabilities as a student nurse. Through going on the
basics of Trust on myself as fundamental component to achieve what is truly the role of
being a nurse.