Hi xx, You have given a reason

why people might visit a park,

listed some ways to care for a
park and made a suggestion
about why we should care for
parks.

It would have great if you had

included some more reasons
why people visit parks and
some more reasons why it is
important to care for parks.

Hi xx, You have given clear

and detailed reasons why
people might visit a park, you
have thoroughly considered
how to care for a park and you
have provided a clear
explanation of why parks need
to be cared for.

Hi xx, you have given three reasons

why people would visit a park,
you’ve made a list and included ways
to care for a park. I would have also
loved for you to explain why people
need to look after a park. What
would happen if people didn’t do
those things you listed?