Hello Everyone!

I completed this activity with a shift supervisor at my store and my assistant store
manager. We went over the materials together and spent some time talking about how
this could relate to our store and the growth and development of not only myself but
the shift supervisor and the assistant store manager.

We used the scenario of accurate ordering for the store. It would not have been
appropriate to use a gender, race or ethnicity "spit out the hook" as they are my direct
reports.

The scenario was set a couple ways. The shift had made a mistake on the order and I
was inquiring as to the mistake. Then the assistant store manager was asked the same
questions and given the same inquiry. This may seem trivial but it is a good base of
learning to "spit out the hook" to apply to handling other potential work conflicts.

Prompt #1: Describe your ability to be "Spit Out the Hook" (or the difficulty you had
"Unhooking").

I admit even though I believe I am decent at "Spitting Out the Hook" I found myself
starting to react the shift supervisors reaction and starting to explain why they made a
mistake and it was not my fault. Instead of reacting, I paused and allowed the partner
to talk and I listened. When they were finished I asked questions about the routine,
their time management and what support they needed from me to not make the
mistake moving forward.

It could have been very easy to place blame on the partner or sweep this issue under
the rug, but instead we talked it out and I was able to uncover a teaching moment that I
believe warranted a coaching moment.

My shift supervisor struggled with my reaction and was then allowing themselves to
be hooked. They were reacting to my lack of reaction and to the questions that I was
asking. Going on the defense thinking the questions would lead to me accusing them
of not being capable. This was not the case, they have had prior leaders impact their
ability to write an order or run a shift and that was coming into play during our
exercise.

I have had to proactively practice the art of not reacting. I had not thought about their
reactions being all theirs, I took accountability for them thinking it might have been
something that I had done or said. Now that is not to say that conflict can't be an
invitation to learn or be better.
Prompt #2: Describe the difference between being "Hooked" and not being "Hooked."

Being hooked is engaging in the other persons reaction and owning it as your own. Not
being hooked allows you to listen and engage in a way that is you owning your state
and the other human owning theirs. It is not escalating a situation or being defensive
or reacting to their reaction.

Prompt #3: Were you able to identify the EVENT? Were you able to identify the other
person's REACTION? Describe the EVENT and the REACTION.

I was able to identify the event and the other humans reactions. The event was the
mistake in the order and having to talk about it and the reaction was being defensive
and wanting to engage in a blame game. It was clear that this partner was in threat
state and was trying to deflect and get angry. We uncovered the why in how they were
feeling and we were able to make the situation about the actual event not the
reactions.

Prompt #4: Describe how successful your partner "Spit Out the Hook." Or describe how
difficult it was.

My partner was not successful in "spitting out the hook," they have a pattern of learned
behaviors to react and to defend. They are not conformable with making mistakes and
being asked to explain why they made the decisions they have made. This again goes
back to prior leaders who lead with fear and actively reacted to mistakes and took the
hook and thus engaging in a conflict when none needed to happen.

They were unable to own their reactions as their own at first and instead of the pause
and listen to give your brain time to digest it was very much fight or flight. We spent
about an hour talking through the exercise and have been practicing it all week doing
some shoulder to shoulder work with them on a variety of different things.