✨​welcome to your self-parenting guide ​✨ 

congratulations for choosing  

 
to care for yourself and your inner child.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

This guide will help you: 

✨Become aware of your inner conversations 

✨Develop trust within yourself (self-trust, my friends!) 
✨Create a safe, supportive inner environment 
 

 
 
 
 
 
  
 

Before you begin, 

Get yourself a fresh journal. 

Write why you are committed to this journey. 

This will be for when the days get rough, 

and you need a reminder. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
I commit to showing up for myself because 
 
. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
About Inner Conversations 
Having inner conversations is the acknowledgment that we ​do​ talk to ourselves.  
We have conflicting opinions. We negotiate with ourselves everyday. 
 
You’re probably an expert at this already. Remember the last time you told yourself 
not to eat those instant noodles? But you really wanted to, so you made a deal. I can 
eat instant noodles if I _________.  
 
The question is, how can we negotiate with ourselves better? Create win-win 
situations while making important decisions. Yes, decisions that are even more 
important than whether or not to eat that 3 min microwaved ramen goodness. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Why We Begin with Self-Parenting 
The way we talk with ourselves shapes how we relate to others and navigate life. 
By beginning at our very first relationship, between caretaker and child, we can 
learn so much ourselves.  
As we listen to our inner parent and child, we can: 
● Be aware of how the parenting style you grew up with and how external 
voices 
influence you today 
● Identify your inner child & inner parent, who represent your true desires vs. 
the “shoulds” and pressures you feel in life 
● Make space for your inner child & inner parent to talk, so you can feel free to 
make decisions on YOUR OWN TERMS, TOGETHER. 
 
Through conscious self-parenting, we can redefine the relationship between our 
inner child and inner parent. 
 
Ultimately, redefining our relationship with ourselves. 
 
Who is my Inner Parent & Child? 
 
Your inner parent voice is a manifestation of ​your caretakers, parents, authority 
figures’ voices.​ ​The inner parent voice is not innately “bad”. Rather the adults in our 
lives are human and have their own insecurities and judgements, which they pass 
down to us. As children, we are far more impressionable than we are aware of.  
 
Self-parenting is particularly valuable when we have a “negative inner parent”, one 
who criticizes, judges, and belittles us. This is where your intention towards 
redefining your inner parent will be most supportive.  
 
Your inner child is​ ​the naturally curious side of you. The being you were born into 
this world as. They may be loud, rambunctious, and rebellious. They may be scared, 
shy, and quiet. Perhaps they’re a mix of both. Like children, they can be driven to 
please the adults in their life - like your inner parent - so that they get the love and 
attention they crave. They are the YOU who will flourish with the right nurturing 
and care. 
You are doing important work by healing the relationship between inner parent and 
inner child. They will thank you for taking care of them. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
My Experience 
 
From my own experience, self-parenting is a foundation for individualization. As 
BrownGirlTherapy says, “You are an adult when you set boundaries with your 
parents.”  
 
We may not get to this point perfectly with our outer parents, but we can start 
practicing this with ourselves. Through inner conversations, your inner child learns 
to speak up for her needs and wants and work together with your inner parent, 
interdependently. Over time, you will witness your inner child growing as a child 
would. With care and trust, your inner child and inner parent will live seamlessly 
together. You will have a mutually beneficial relationship with yourself.  
 
When we are aware of the influences and voices that shape our decision-making, 
we can make conscious choices. With practice, self-parenting is a method of 
checking in with ourselves, navigating important decisions, learning about yourself 
deeply, and loving yourself in the way you desire. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Getting Started 
 
I highly recommend you commit to these sessions for 30 mins each day for 7 days - 
recommended in the morning to start your day. It’s important when you first begin 
to read the questions out loud and write the answers your inner child shares 
completely. Give your inner child time to voice her thoughts.​ ​You may or may not 
have a clear idea of what age your inner child is as well. You don’t need to. Just 
listen. Be there😊  
 
Before starting each session, welcome your inner child and tell her you are ready to 
listen - it’s just like building a friendship! It takes time and you gotta ease into it. 
Lastly, thank yourself and your inner child for showing up after each session. 
 
Welcoming Your Inner Child 
 
Before each session, welcome your inner child. Please say this out loud.*  
 
Dear Inner Child,  
 
Thank you for sitting with me here today. I have known you for ______ [insert 
your age] years. Starting today, I would like to get to know you better. For the next 
30 mins I will dedicate time to listen to you. I will try my best to listen without 
judging or coming to any conclusions. When I catch myself not listening, I will 
apologize and start over.  
 
Inner Child, I am ready to be here for you and to learn along the way. Please feel 
free to tell me what you need at any time. 
 
The one who wants to know you best, 
Your Inner Parent 
 
*You may also say this in your own words 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sessions  
*Read Welcoming Your Inner Child first* 
 
Please have a journal dedicated solely to self-parenting and your inner work. It is 
important to have a space for yourself amongst the everyday noise around you.  
 
To start a journal session, draw a line down the center of your page/pages. Label 
the left column “Inner Parent”, where your inner parent will ask questions. Label 
the right column, “Inner Child,” where your inner child will write her answers. 
 
For the first few times, ask the following questions out loud. Asking the questions 
out loud at first makes it easier for us to distinguish our inner parent from our 
inner child. When your inner child answers, write what they share down - 
unfiltered. When you first begin, your inner child may not have much to say. With 
time and patience, she will be more willing to share because she knows you’ll be 
listening. 
 
Example: 
 

 
 
 
Session 1 
 
How are you today my inner child? 
 
How do you feel about these self-parenting sessions? 
 
I’d like to get to know you better, can you tell me what’s your favorite color? 
 
What are some of your favorite things to watch? 
 
Is there an actor, actress, or character you liked from those shows or movies? 
 
Why did you like them? What is interesting about them to you? 
 
Would you like to be like any of them growing up? 
 
Is there anything you’d like to watch together today? 
 
Is there anything else you’d like to tell me? 
*Thank your inner child. Let your inner child thank you as well!* 
 
Session 2 
 
How are you today my inner child? 
 
What did you eat this morning (or yesterday for dinner)? 
 
What did you think about that meal? 
 
What would you like to eat next? 
 
Inner child, can you tell me about one of your favorite memories? 
 
Why is it one of your favorites? 
 
What’s one thing you’d like to do together today? 
 
Inner child, what do you think of us talking like this? 
 
Is there anything else you’d like to tell me? 
*Thank your inner child. Let your inner child thank you as well!* 
 
 
Session 3 
 
How are you today my inner child? 
 
What did you eat last night?  
 
What did you think of it? 
 
Inner child, how has your week been? 
 
Inner child, how was your weekend? 
 
What has been one of your favorite weekends? 
 
Why was it your favorite? 
 
How can we make today feel like a weekend? 
*Take time to create a win-win situation between you and your inner child. Thank 
your inner child and yourself after this* 
 
 
Session 4 
 
Inner child, how are you today? 
 
What are you looking forward today? 
 
How do you feel about our mornings? 
 
What would you like to do differently together? 
 
Inner child, I’ve been asking many questions.  
So I want to ask you - what do you want me to know about you? 
 
*Take the rest of this session to let your inner child guide the conversation. Ask 
questions to encourage them to share more. Listen. Also, take what your inner child 
has told you about a morning routine and keep those promises. Thank your inner 
child and yourself after this* 
 
Session 5 
 
Inner child, how are you today? 
 
How do you feel about these self-parenting sessions so far? 
 
How would you like to spend this time together? 
 
What do you wish we could talk more about? 
 
Inner child, has there been a time where you haven’t felt listened to? 
 
Inner child, how would you like to communicate to me in the future? 
 
Lastly, what is one thing you’d like to do together this week/weekend/day? 
 
*You can begin to create your own questions from here. Thank your inner child and 
yourself at the end of your session* 
 
 
Session 6 
 
Inner child, how are you this morning? 
 
How did you feel yesterday? 
 
Inner child, can you tell me about a time you felt your best?  
 
What about that time stood out to you?  
 
How can we be more like that? 
 
Inner child, who are your favorite people? 
 
When was the last time you saw your favorite people? 
 
Would you like to make plans to see your favorite people soon? 
 
*Begin to create your own questions. Thank your inner child and yourself at the 
end of your session* 
 
Session 7 
 
Inner child, how are you today? 
 
Inner child *if you haven’t noticed* we are going through a pandemic right now! 
How do you feel about it?  
 
What do you want to do together? 
 
Inner Child, is there any advice you’d like to give me? 
 
*Continue the rest of the session allowing both your inner parent and child to ask 
questions. Thank your inner child and yourself at the end of your session* 
 
 
 
 
 
💖Congratulations 💖 
 
You’ve finished your first full week of self-parenting 
(even if took a little longer than expected!) 
 
 
 
What’s Next? 
Now that you’ve begun building a foundation between you and your inner child - 
you can begin to work together. This can look like sharing what’s on your mind to 
each other and co-creating win-win situations. Practice listening to each other and 
negotiating what decisions feel good for BOTH of you. 
Celebrate Yourself 
Acknowledge yourself for committing to this process. It takes intention and 
dedication. 
I encourage you to continue checking in with your inner child, create a routine with 
her that feels good. 
 
For today, take the time to celebrate yourself - eat your favorite foods, be in a way 
that brings you joy. You get to celebrate each step of the way because that’s what 
makes up YOUR LIFE! 
 
Email what you’ve learned through these first few sessions at 
itstiffanytrieu@gmail.com. We can talk over tea ​here​.​ If you’d like longer term, 
personalized support - ask me about Creating Home Within (group coaching) and 
1:1 visualization sessions. 
 
Special Thank You To My Learnings From 
 
Self-Parenting: A Guide To Inner Conversations​ by John K. Pollard III 
Windows To Our Children​ by Violet Oaklander 
 
With care, 
✨ ✨
​Tiffany​