SHOWTIME!

Comedy
Erik Konijn

6th Draft

2019
INT. STUDIO - DAY
1. INT. STUDIO - DAY
Our late night host, BEN, is interviewing famous popstar
Nick, who is doing a press tour for his latest album.
BEN
Welcome back to the Nice Night
show. I'm your host Ben. Give a big
hand to our next guest, Nick!

THE CAMERA DOLLIES OUT TO REVEAL OUR GUEST

BEN
Hi, thank you so much for coming on
our show.

NICK
I'm glad to be here.

Ben checks his cue cards.

BEN
Let's talk about your new album
that just came out.
NICK
(slightly confused)
Yeah, my new single.
BEN
(interrupting)
Yeah.

NICK
Yeah, I just released a single, The
End of Love. And I'm dropping my
new album-

BEN
(interrupting)
And you're also dropping a new
album soon, right?

NICK
... Yeah, my album Nick comes out
next month.
BEN
Fascinating.
NICK
... ... Yeah.

BEN
So your last album was well
received. How was it like, being
nominated for so many Grammys?

NICK
 2.

NICK
Uh, I wasn't- What? I wasn't
nominated for any Grammys.
BEN
Right, yeah, I mean the AMA's.
NICK
(confused)
...No.
BEN
No. Right. Yeah. Let's move on.

Ben looks up at his producer.

PRODUCER
(mouthing)
What?
Ben glances at the cards and looks back at Nick.
BEN
You've been releasing music under
the name Nick for years, but your
real name is...
NICK
Nikolaj Jen-

BEN
Nikolaj Jensen. How did you come up
with your stagename?

NICK
Uh... Nick is short for Nikolaj.
BEN
Right, how did you come up with
that?
NICK
(confused)
What?
(beat, he waits for Ben's
reply but it never comes)
It's just, like, a nickname? It was
my nickname as a child.

BEN
Fascinating.
Awkward silence.
NICK
Uhh- Can we go back to talking
about my new album?

The Producer aggressively gestures to Ben.

 3.

The Producer aggressively gestures to Ben.

BEN
(looking at camera)
Alright, we'll be back with more
right after the break.
The screen fades to black. As it fades to black, we see the
Producer walk into the shot at Ben, starting to scream at
him, but the audio has faded out.
The screen fades back in.
BEN
Welcome back everyone! Listen, I
was wondering...
Ben picks up one of his cue cards and starts reading directly
from it.
BEN (CONT'D)
(reading)
What was the process like working
on your upcoming album, Nick?

Nick responds almost unnaturally - they clearly rehearsed

this during the ad break.
NICK
It was a blast. I worked with so
many incredibly talented people,
and I'm very proud of the album. I
can't wait to finally release it
next month.

BEN
And your album is called...
NICK
Nick.
BEN
Nick.
NICK
Like my name, yeah. Nick.
BEN
Nick. Your name seems very
important to you, since you named
your album after it. What made you
decide to do that?
NICK
(confused, irritated)
Wh- It's my name. Isn't your name
important to you?

BEN
 4.

BEN
Well yeah, but your real name is
Nikolaj.

Nick is now visibly getting irritated and angry at Ben.

NICK
What is it with you? Why can't you
just ask me a normal fucking
question? Jesus Christ, you have
got to be the worst interviewer
I've ever seen.
Nick keeps going, but his voice fades out. Ben looks down at
his cue cards, entering a dream-like state. The lighting
changes. The cards' text has changed, it is now speaking
directly to Ben.
CARDS
He is right. You're losing it.
Ben flips through the cards maniacally.

CARDS
Your girlfriend doesn't speak to
you anymore.
Your dog doesn't speak to you
anymore.
You need to get out.
You need to get out.
You need to get out.
He looks up, straight into the camera. Nick's still going,
and light returns to normal.
NICK
Never have I ever been so
disrespected in an interview-
Before he can finish, Ben springs up.
BEN
I can't do this!
He throws his cue cards in the air and dashes away from the
set, leaving the studio as fast as he can. The Producer runs
after Ben.

CUT TO: SHOT OF FULL STUDIO

One of the cue cards has landed right in the foreground of
the shot, clearly reading "What's your favourite color?". We
see two camera operators standing behind one of the cameras,
looking at each other, confused by what they just witnessed.
CAMERA OPERATOR
What the fuck just happened?