WROCLAW INSTITUT FOR PSYCHOTHERAPY

51-168 Wroclaw, Poland

Soltysowicka 65 a
www.wip.wroclaw.pl

COUPLE THERAPY – EXAMPLE QUESTIONS (R. Ciesielski)

1. For building the alliance
 What brings you here?
 How can I help you?
 What changes have occurred since the phone call?
 What do you need at this meeting to be satisfied with its course?
2. Questions to help define goals
A. Miracle question -
 What are your partner's first changes, and what will they do differently?
 What will your partner notice about when you make changes?
B. Concreting questions
 What specific behaviors will you notice when you have solved your problems?
 What will be the first noticeable signal of change?
C. Questions for details
 What will tell you that you are on the right track?
 How will it look like? What else?
 What observations will give you a sense of strength to keep changing?
3. Relational questions
 When your partner changes in the direction you want, how will you know it is having
a positive effect on you?
 What is new about your partner?
 What change could it trigger for him?
 What changes will children and friends notice?
4. Questions about exceptions
 What is the difference between the times when your problems do not arise?
 What happens when you see that the problem is having less of an impact on you?
5. Questions to emphasize influence and agency
 What was the difference in your behavior?
 WROCLAW INSTITUT FOR PSYCHOTHERAPY
51-168 Wroclaw, Poland
Soltysowicka 65 a
www.wip.wroclaw.pl

 What encouraged your partner to change your behavior?

 How can you encourage your partner to do similar things?
6. Questions to emphasize adaptability
 How did you go through so many together?
 How did you manage to avoid getting into more trouble?
7. Scaling questions
hope / motivation / progress
 Where on the scale do you put your hopes for a solution to your situation?
 How will the level be good enough for you to find the strength to work hard?
 How do you find that your hopes have risen one level?
8. Questions about partnership
 What does that say about you as a couple?
 What else should your partner notice to see how hard you are trying to get your
relationship?
 How can you ensure that your partner persists in his new beliefs?
 How did you do it?