Lessons with Swami

Sydney Stein

Since I began my lessons with Swami, my life has dramatically changed. Where I was
once close minded, arrogant, and stubborn, I am not humbled, open, and acknowledging of my
ignorance. When I first met Swami Param, I greeted him with negativity, denial, anger, and
complete foolishness out of my defense of deep down feeling insecure while covering this up by
finding false security in the knowledge of diluted Western “yoga”. When I introduced myself to
yoga, I was lost and grieving the death of my father. In this place of calmness, I was given a
chance to slow down and truly be with myself in the face of the grief I had been blinded by for
the past year. It was the Western world of yoga that introduced me to seeing so much potential
in the real thing, though at the time I did not know it.
One year after discovering the calmness and inner peace of simply meditating, relaxing,
and tuning into the body through asana, I sought out a Western 200 hr yoga course for personal
enrichment and to learn more about this practice that helped me so much in my grieving. When
I was introduced to just a sliver of yogic philosophy through the Sutras, I felt a deep connection
and understanding. Though watered down from the true source, I knew there was something
there, though I also had a lot of questions and was a bit confused by the conflicting ways of
teaching these texts that felt to be inherently spiritual, yet be told time and again by my
instructor that nothing about yoga is religious.
A few months in, I was blessed in a way by my blind arrogance. I am thankful that I was
so stubborn and fooled at the time that I sought an argument with Swami Param on his
comment on a Facebook at for the yoga course I was taking, for I really thought I was right and
he was wrong when he said only Hindus should teach yoga. Though my actions, words, and
arrogance are embarrassing and regretful, I am so happy that I was foolish enough at the time
to make contact. After our argument, the insecurity inside me (hidden by my arrogance) had to
research to prove I was right, because there was a little voice of doubt inside trying to show me
to exercise better judgment. And to my avail, I WAS SO WRONG!
Boy, was I ashamed and embarrassed by the way I had acted. So embarrassed I went
back and deleted all of my comments because I was so upset at how foolish I was being now
that I understood that I was being fooled by the Western “yoga” industry all along. I went back to
Swami like a dog with its tail between it’s legs and begged to be forgiven for the way I spoke
and the stupidity and rudeness I displayed. And to my delight, Swami showed me compassion
and understanding and opened the door for me to change and do better. I am so thankful and
humbled by this act and just the beginning of our introduction to each other has taught me so
much in how to act in my daily life.
In the months that have followed, my world has bloomed into a whole new reality of
thought and living. The basic principles of Hinduism such the understanding of the Atman and
Brahman are reflecting my personal spiritual perspective prior to realizing this is also Hinduism.
These are beliefs I have held since my early teenage years after questioning Christianity and
understanding that Christian beliefs were not a reflection of how I really felt. So to finally come
to terms with the fact that there is a belief system out there (Hinduism) that at its core is already
the same as mine was not just relieving but absolutely liberating.
In addition to these core beliefs, Hinduism's understanding and explanation of other
principals on Samsara, spiritual growth and enlightenment, and Karma/ethics further gave me
comfort in being able to demonstrate these ideas and the importance of them. Learning about
the basics of Hinduism has felt like coming home and finally finding comfort and understanding
of my own inner perspective and realizing I am absolutely not alone in these beliefs. To add to
this, as a person who loves to learn and is especially interested in the studies of philosophy and
health sciences, I am giddy with joy like a kid in a candy shop knowing there is SO MUCH to
learn and explore and to contemplate amongst this incredibly vast collection of culture, history,
science, and philosophy within Hinduism. I am truly and simply in awe and completely wowed
and humbled at all that is before me. I feel it has truly dispelled so much of the arrogant and
small mindset I had. And to think I thought I knew so much! Ha!
As I learn and understand more, my eyes are opened to so many other lessons and
situations around me that continue to change my perspective on a regular basis. For instance,
simply understanding how much traditions and teachings have been diluted and twisted in the
“Spiritual but not Religious/New Age” community is quite astounding. I see more and more
misunderstandings and problematic practices that derive from many other cultures (not just
Hindu) everytime I interact with that community. I also see a great deal of better understanding
of other religious views and practices and make connections and also question their origins as I
see many more similarities, especially with spiritual metaphors. Within all of this I have also
learned to subdue my anger on the subject of stolen Hindu practices and withhold myself from
speaking too much on these topics that I must know more about to really stand up for, and also
to not go into defending Hinduism with the same level of frustration I had when defending
Western “yoga”. Though I know it is right to bring up these problems respectfully, doing so in
great anger on a subject I still have so much to learn about would put me in a similar situation
as I was wrong at the beginning of my journey.
From a more positive outward perspective, I see so much more symbolism in my daily
life and also try to find lessons in my day to day encounters. Simply observing the films Swami
had me watch has made me look for spiritual lessons in most of the media I consume these
days. In addition to that, my appreciation of respect for nature has flourished. I see trees,
flowers, and animals differently. Everything has a lesson to teach us. I’ve always been a nature
lover, and have always found spiritual abundance in being in nature, but I can surely say that it
is now an even richer experience and being in nature is integrated into my daily spiritual practice
as well. I also find myself sharing these lessons with the people around me, hoping to connect
to the beauty around us all the time. Also, nearly every morning I go out and pick fresh flowers
to place in water on my altar for Ganesh. It’s a beautiful way to start the day and be greeted by
the sunrise and the birds chirping outside.. We truly live in an amazing reality here on this
planet.
Aside from outward observations, my internal world has changed so much. With my daily
practice of inner reflection and meditation, I have seen such a change in my emotional
regulation, my ability to accept when things go poorly, and my ability to find the present moment
in my daily life. I also am able to see when I don’t stick to my morning ritual and how quickly my
life falls into disarray. I am still very much in the phase of working on being consistent every
single day consecutively. I am drastically better at all of this in comparison to a year ago, but I
also see I have a long hard way to go of making strong daily commitment to my spiritual growth
and habitual practice. But I will not give up because I have been taught the importance of doing
so and the great many ways it will help me live a rich and fulfilling life.
 So with all of this, I will close with the summary of my lessons. Swami Param has truly
helped me in bringing the light to dispel the darkness within me. He has shown me I was blinded
by ignorance and arrogance, and that it takes great compassion and care to lift one up out of it
and show a better way. I have been opened to a world of wisdom that is founded by thousands
of years of spiritual scientific study passed on by great Gurus, Rishis, and Sages for the
betterment of humankind. I have been humbled by the overwhelming amount of information and
profound thought and lessons within the Sanatana Dharma tradition.
My life has bloomed into a whole new way of living and seeing the world around me and
I have only simply begun this long and arduous climb up the mountain. I feel as if I am
experiencing a new birth through this new perspective and I am so incredibly grateful I found it
at the young age I still am, for it gives me so many years to learn, and grow, and develop along
this spiritual path that has brought me so much meaning and awe. Thank you for shining the
light on me Swami. I bow to your lotus feet.