Your Brain On Porn

Introduction

Gary Wilson explains to us how porn stimulates a part of our brain

meant for reward, porn being a dopamine rush without real
drawbacks makes it a very stimulating experience. He tells us how
this part of our brain is also the one that responds to any sort of
pleasure, drugs etc.. but also everyday pleasures, little things that
make your day and also social interactions. Truth is porn sets the bar
so high that any stimulations that isn’t as powerful as porn doesn’t
really hit the radar and you end up living on a daily basis where your
best reward and maybe even only reward and pleasure is
masturbating in front of your computer alone. Worse than everything
stated above, porn can cause real damage to the brain’s plasticity
and studies has shown that porn addicts suffer from the impact that
porn has had on their brains development and wiring. More than that
it causes erectile dysfunctions and negatively impacts sex drive to the
point where only the graphic content will appear anywhere close to
being stimulating to the one suffering from this addiction.

Chapter 1 :

What are we dealing with ?

In this first part Gary Wilson walks us though how men came to
realize they had a problem with porn, problems as big as having
dramatic ED (erectile dysfunction) with women and thus feeling
incapable of having a “normal” relationship with women, for that they
became hermits. Most of them were more tech oriented people who
before the others discovered the eternal novelty of tube sites. Tube
sites didn’t come with the same cons and challenges as the prior
ways of getting access to pornography. No having to go to the store
and buy a magazine in front of people, no going to a sex cinema or
show booths, tube sites were as long as you had access to the
internet easily usable and in the privacy or your own house/bedroom.
So forums and communities such as “NoFap” emerged where men
counted their experiences and problems with porn, sexuality and
more interestingly the first reports of people quitting porn. They
reported that they didn’t feel as depressed, that they had more
energy, didn’t experience ED with women anymore and that they felt
a lot less socially anxious (see intro for neurological explanation of
how this happens) they discovered they had bombarded their brains
with ever more stimulating content that regular sex wasn’t enough
and that was a big problem.

For some men though quitting porn didn’t go so well, some

report that quitting porn had got them to feel more depressed, more
anxious, lost sleep over it, couldn’t control their thoughts, didn’t feel
like their libido was going up or that their ED was being “reversed” at
all unless they went back to porn. They experienced withdrawal
symptoms, and compared to all the others that were reporting having
great results and a positive impacts from being x day free from porn
they only saw depression and the lack of sexual ability they went
back to porn in the attempt of saving their manhood. Those are
withdrawal symptoms but a new term in the “NoFap” community
emerged they called it “flatlines”. Flatlines are described as being a
period after long and intense sexual stimulation the body and brain is
recovering from all the excess and fatigue related to it. To the
unaware it might be a troubling period because losing all sex drive for
a time (not even counting other symptoms of withdrawal that person
may be experiencing) especially for a younger man is quite strange
and worrying though after that phenomenon becoming common
knowledge for most “NoFappers” most didn’t have much trouble
pushing through it and soon joining the ranks of those experiencing
the benefits.

Gary tells us how going porn free is a very under researched

domain and when it is researched at all it is more put into correlation
with its cons like depression, anxiety etc but rarely to prove the
benefits of recovering from it. With the upcoming of this tech native
generation forums and communities related to quitting porn went
from being mostly populated by late twenties tech hermits to late
teens and early twenties looking into the cause of their problems,
seeing porn as being something they should get rid of. The
newcomers had all sort of backgrounds, students, bodybuilders,
virgins, people in a relationship, recreational drug users, religious etc,
these communities were now made of everyday people all having
tracked the probable causes of their problems to porn use. And new
reports came to the eyes of the others, one says how throughout his
life he had thought about suicide a long time and that now that he is
porn free although it is hard he gets to enjoy his relationship with his
girlfriend. Another reports that he was questioning his sexuality
orientation and interests in general because of all the material who
had gotten to watch for stimulation, he thought that the fetishes and
the transexual porn and so on were maybe actually what he liked but
when he got to getting free of porn he realized that it was just his
brain looking for more novelty to get turned on. One last nofapper
puts into correlation the moment when porn got in his life to when
everything went south, how he was a very athletic, smart and a
sociable kid but when porn arrived he dropped everything and
became depressed and resentful, he hated everything, found life
despicable and even thought about doing a “columbine style”
shooting. He suffered so much in life that his hatred was turned on
life itself and everyone who was able to enjoy it and for this he just
wanted to destroy and kill. All this doesn’t mean that some people
truly are happy being interested in fetishes and gender varied sexual
activities but the problem is when porn alters what you think you like
and corrupts your brain into adopting a pattern of stimulation that
isn’t yours.

Here Gary collects a few reports of people making a before and

after statements to how they have changed psychologically and
physiologically, human interactions, sleep, focus, energy, muscle
development, competence in physical activity etc.

People in those communities didn’t take long to put the word

addiction on their behavior. We live in a society where probably in the
first place to detach ourselves from religious dogmas that we deemed
outdated but also in relationship with certain scientific facts where
masturbation is considered as being a healthy and normal behavior
and it is, but we fail as a society to put the emphasis on dissociating
it with the use of porn. A lot of reports of men describe their daily
lives in porn addiction. Some of them describe porn as the only thing
they think about. Their neuroplasticity has changed in a way that for
their brain porn is a daily need and the brain connexions are
strengthened every time the behavior reappears. One says how he
used to masturbate up to 6 times a day, another thought that his
increase use of porn was caused by an increase in his libido because
porn is not a drug right ? You can’t be addicted to porn right ? They
said to reassure themselves. They soon discovered they were wrong.
Porn took a lot of time in their day and everything compared to it was
dull.

Studies and reports have narrowed down symptoms of porn use

on sexuality. Genres of porn that used to be stimulating aren’t
anymore, uncharacteristic fetishes develop, porn is more stimulating
than a partner, penis is less sensitive, sexual arousal with partners
declines, erection fade away when or a little after penetration,
penetration has no stimulation, fantasizing about porn is necessary to
maintain an erection or sexual interest. Gary then proceeds with
reports of users illustrating these symptoms.

More and more men came to the realization that they had ED
(erectile dysfunction), DE (delayed ejaculation) etc due to porn and
those quickly became the number one reason for men to quit porn.
Reports came flooding from people even in their mid fifties describing
how there libido and abilities in bed came back and were amazing.
They had turned their symptoms around and now experienced in
untroubled sexual intercourse.

More than ED and DE came reports of PE (premature

ejaculation), although rare counterintuitive to internet porn PE came in
with people that often started very young or that masturbated a lot in
a way where they either trained themselves to climax fast or to climax
with a partially erected penis. One reports forcing himself to ejaculate
several times a day, he would be so tired that he wouldn’t have an
erection but still his behavior was so extreme that he would try as
hard as he could to still ejaculate, when he would he wouldn’t feel
much at all.

Many men reported having started their pornographic lifestyle

with what they call “normal porn” so straight porn or lesbian but very
soon they went looking for something else. Addiction makes you
always look for more, more stimulation, more porn, more this more
that. To find that stipulation many reports state going through the
novelty route, going from normal porn to then more extreme, violent,
taboo or disturbing fetishes granting them that new experience.
Pushing a little further some started to find stimulation in gay or
transgender porn, thing that was previously the opposite of their
sexual orientation. Many started doubting, doubting if they were gay
or bi or if they did in the end like rape or being humiliated. That
something was wrong with them and they became very disturbed and
unhappy about their situation, they were lost interpreting their body
responding to sexual content and adrenaline for actual sexual interest
and enjoyment. The term SOCD or HOCD appeared (sexual-
orientation/homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder). Even gay
people started experiencing it the other way around.

One other strange thing is it appeared that some men began to

think they might be “asexual”, they acknowledge that they liked
women and found them beautiful but they had no sexual interest in
them at all. One phenomenon that has been studied is in Japan in
2010 most men were twice as uninterested in sex than only two years
before that in 2008 some numbers going up to 36% for teenagers
between 16 and 19. Porn artificially “fulfilling” the sexual “needs” or
interests of men came before any sort of desire to interact with
women at all. This is one of the reasons for ED experienced with
women, one reports that he had fantasized of having sex with a
particular women and when he was given the opportunity in bed
failed to perform, felt ashamed and humiliated, doubted himself and
masturbated. Porn had perverted how those men saw women, either
they were trying to find in women what they could find in porn either
they were just satisfied with porn and couldn’t be bothered with sex.

Scientists have discovered the effects of over stimulation in pair-

bonding mammals (a.k.a animals who find a mate and form a couple,
like humans do) cut the interest of the naturally monogamous animal
for one specific partner. This applies to humans as well and especially
men, men exposed to sexy female images got the man to devalue his
partner on attractiveness but also warmth and intelligence. However
both genders have been seen to report less satisfaction with their
partner on an affection, appearance, sexual curiosity and
performance level. Both man and women also reported an increased
importance to sex without emotional involvement. Follows many
reports of men that observed the previously stated benefits as
reduced ED or PE, but on a intimate and romantic level, their intimate
relationship meant something after all and pornography and constant
stimulation had made it dull compared to all the fetishes they would
find online. Some that weren’t in a relationship took actions on
feelings they had and got what they wanted. Their general
relationship with the opposite sex changed completely, they desired
women but also saw them more profoundly as individuals.

Along that after some time ex users found their former anxiety
and low self-esteem to be related to porn and discovered their new
confidence and social skills. Most report the correlation between the
moment they discovered porn and when life started going south, or
diagnosed with severe social anxiety and feel handicapped on a daily
basis due to it. After some time without porn they discovered that
they felt more comfortable, women found them more attractive, they
could make eye contact and talk without any problem with any
stranger. All those things would have been impossible a few months
back.

Studies show direct correlation between ADHD symptoms and

the degree of the internet addiction, even after taking into account
anxiety, depression and personality traits. Even casual porn users
have been found to have shrunken grey matter regions in the brain
associated with cognitive function. All this seems to explain why so
many ex users report having no “brain fog” (not being able to focus)
anymore, better memory and intellectual activities weren’t so difficult
anymore.

They also reported an increase in energy and will in doing things

or being productive could be resumed to depression being in
correlation with the impairment of the dopamine circuit that pushes
people to go and face the day. Clinicians stating pornography is
harmless should reconsider it, we don’t know how much harm is
really done to our society as a whole and that medical representatives
brushes the problem away is quite irresponsible.

Chapter 2 :

Wanting Run Amok

Pornography and especially tube sites rely heavily on sexual novelty

also known as the “Coolidge effect”, the effect has been observed in
all sorts of mammals where when let’s say a mouse is in contact with
a female he will go and reproduce as much as possible but then
stops, however if you change the female it will revive this first instinct
in copulation regardless of the fatigue etc. Obviously reproduction
and sharing your genes is a very strong natural drive and endorsed by
the reward circuit alongside food, love, friendship and novelty. The
dopamine rush is caused to motivate the drive from point A to point
B, it is a seek and search for pleasure not pleasure itself. It rises with
anticipation for the subject to pursue his goal without becoming
uninterested or bored.

The intensity of the dopamine rush is also put into correlation

with novelty which explains why the mouse was so interested in the
new female. In fact this was tried with humans (men and women
share similar effects), scientists displayed the same erotic movie and
at the 18th viewing subjects were not very aroused at all but at the
19th viewing they put on a new movie and the arousal was back up.
Internet porn is always one click away from being totally new and in a
few minutes you had experienced more mates than any of your
ancestors ever had.

Internet porn has been classified as a super stimuli meaning

they are exaggerated versions of the normal stimuli, the actors in
porn having very exaggerated sexual attributes (enhanced breast and
penis size), mixed with unreal scenarios, multiple penetration and
other sort of fetishes. Static images are nothing compared to today’s
porn high res jumping straight to 3 minutes of intense sex. Plus the
porn industry is always creating more stimulation, 3D videos, robots,
sex toys synchronized with porn. Porn is dangerous as the brain
registers it as being valuable, conveniently available in endless supply
and in lot of variety so we tend to over-consume it. Dopamine floods
with anticipation so bingeing for videos during hours always keeps
the dopamine coming as long as you don’t climax. Users have
discovered this and would “edge” countless times before climaxing
out of fatigue, there is no limit to porn consumption like there can be
with food, unless you have to go to the bathroom or fall asleep you
can keep going for new videos.

One reason why the diminishing returns of porn drives addicts

to push for more stimulation in the attempt to find lasting changes is
that the brain can evolve to protect itself from the overwhelming influx
of dopamine by reducing the responsiveness of it’s receptors.

We are animals that are made to watch and learn, for this porn
does wonders especially for adolescents not having prior experience
with real sex like older generations had likely before getting to
magazines or tapes. A young man now can consciously and
unconsciously assimilate a certain action/reaction as it being what
sex is, maybe women do love having sperm on their face or thinking
that a certain fetish is also what sex is. Also developing certain
conditions for arousal, going from a certain hair color to more and
more ridiculous and small details. Some report spending hours
looking for that perfect scene with the perfect shot and actors to
climax, thus reinforcing going to point A to B with dopamine. Also the
body starts to assimilate together the ritual with the sexual arousal,
before sleep or in the dark, on the phone, in a certain position etc.
Meeting those conditions candidly without watching porn, maybe
being on your phone in your bed will put the brain into thinking that
sexual activity is close and arousal start reinforcing again the
behavior. Up to the point where it starts to feel like a need.

It has been demonstrated that some drugs like meth or cocaine

hijack the same reward circuit than sex. Most of the population is
found unlikely to become addicted to drugs although that does not
concern super stimuli activities. 70% of adult Americans are
overweight, they are we could say addicted to high caloric food and
like sex our brain have been made to seek those things. This is
common to all humans and thus everyone is as susceptible of
craving, losing control and suffer negative consequences from the
use of porn. They are addicted even though some of them couldn’t
get hooked the same way to other drugs that aren’t tied to a
biological need.

 At first people seemed confuse be the fine line some placed

between compulsive behaviors and addictions. Some even thought
that more than a scientific statement it was a moralistic one like it had
been with alcohol and other substances decades ago. Describing
porn addiction as a compulsive behavior and not as an addiction only
makes sense in the definition of the term, often these people take
addiction as being substance related. On a neurologic level there is
no difference, there is one reward centre with one reward circuit and
in the case of porn the brain activity and behavior as well as the
damaged areas are identical to people suffering from substance
related addictions. The ASAM (American Society of Addiction
Medicine) has officially classified porn use as a “pathological pursuit
of reward” a.k.a addiction on the same level as all the others.
Addiction symptoms that porn addicts experience are desensitization
a numbed response to pleasure making the addict more dopamine
hungry and turning him towards ever more stimulating activities, also
subjects may neglect interests that used to be priorities.
Sensitization, the brain has wired in a way to remember what activity
and circumstances caused the dopamine rush and stimulation,
whenever these conditions are met the brain will start craving and
addicts will fall in a tunnel were the only exit is porn. Hyperfrontality,
the prefrontal regions impairment correlates with reduced impulse
control and weakened the ability to foresee consequences, could be
described as a decrease in willpower. Dysfunctional stress circuits,
this may impair the ability of the subject to deal with stress, all those
phenomenas compose the vicious circle that has found the perfect
pathways in your brain for you to go and get the stimulation, to try
and satisfy yourself and stop the cravings and stress, until next time.
Addicts also experience withdrawal symptoms like with other sorts of
addiction.

Our brain is made to override normal satisfaction because some

opportunities are rare and valuable, like finding a lot of food at once
or the mating season, although our brain isn’t made for those
experiences to be sustained on a longer period of time.

Another proof that porn use is considered an addiction is the

presence in the reward circuit of the protein “DeltaFosB”, how it
works is dopamine makes you believe what you are doing is good
and necessary and the role of DeltaFosB is to rewire the circuit to
better answer to this demand. So dopamine is giving the orders and
DeltaFosB is making the road causing the behavior to be even more
difficult to resist.

Porn addiction naysayers put forward that people who

developed porn addiction had a background that made them more
susceptible to get addicted like past addiction, mental disorders or
traumas. A study made in China measured how internet addiction
affected the mental health of incoming students, most of them had
never used the internet, at first they scored lower than the norm on
depression, anxiety and hostility. After a year about 59 of them had
developed internet addiction and their depression, anxiety and
hostility significantly rose. After they had dealt with their internet
addiction these levels decreased. This and other studies put internet
addiction directly in correlation with depression, anxiety and hostility.

Addicts and especially those who have started with high speed
internet porn a.k.a tube sites have rewired their brain in thinking that
this is the normal sexual activity, they may develop ED with real
partners and some ex-users report having to rehabilitate their bodies
to recognize sex with a partner being the normal thing to do, until
then your brain is just confused and even after a reboot you may still
have some ED for some time.

Worse than anything else, with all the disbelief in porn addiction
and it’s psychological and physical symptoms from “professionals”
that are either unaware or sexologists that are too pro sexual
liberation and mock any possible existence in pathological use of
pornography many men get wrongly diagnosed and prescribed
erection pills or other types of medication even as far as getting
operated or having penile transplants. All these people not only are
misdiagnosed and it won’t actually help them since their problem is
probably coming from the over consumption of porn, they are being
wrongly prescribed medication which could even be harmful to them.
One ex-addict reports a professional once wanting to prescribe him
something that will lower his sex drive because they thought his over
use of porn was just a high libido, of course that medication had side
effects like gynecomastia (breast growth). Some report not getting the
operation they were recommended because after coming across
nofap and trying that simply resolved their problems. How many men
take pills or get operated when their problem is addiction to porn ?

Chapter 3 :

Regaining control

This is where the process of rebooting comes into play, this

process comes down to stop any kind of porn or artificial stimulation
in general, bingeing for photos or activities that may be sexually
arousing like on YouTube or social media, erotic encounters (like
cam), reading erotica etc so that your brain “reboots” to it’s natural
state. This restores the sensitivity of the reward circuit so you can
enjoy everyday pleasures again, reduce the intensity of impulsivity
pathways that have driven you to use, re-establish willpower and
reduce the impact of stress which alone can get you to crave that
dopamine boost. Some people report not being as bored or tired for
sex but also for work, one reports being able to sustain work weeks
of 50-60 hours when before he couldn’t keep his focus on a project
for more than a week at the time. To reboot some common tips are to
remove all porn from your computer, ad and porn blockers but less
obvious tips are moving your furniture around and getting rid of your
“masturbation chair” for example, this new environment will tell you
that something has changed and be a constant reminder of what you
are trying to accomplish. Setting a day count can rewarding to
visually track your progression, however some people use those days
like a sort of currency to exchange against occasional porn, or if the
counter is low then that person may want to take advantage of it and
continue porn cause he “isn’t wasting that much of a streak”.

A very reflective tip of the community aspect of NoFap etc is

joining a group and getting an accountability partner. If being online is
a trigger to you or if you want to reduce your use of internet going to
therapy or joining a support group could be useful. Keeping a journal
is also a great way of keeping track of your progress and when the
bad day shows up you can go back and read how far you’ve come.

A very common thing that people rebooting pick up is

exercising. Exercising not only takes your mind and body away from
the cravings and thoughts but also raises dopamine levels, plus it has
shown to boost people’s confidence. It is known as a beneficial
stressor, it stresses your system for it respond with an enhanced
feeling of wellbeing. Cold showers are also quite a common tip in the
NoFap community and have been seen to help people with their
depression. Getting outside positively affects the human brain, it
boosts creativity, insight and problem solving. Getting out and
socializing can be a great relief from cravings and generally good for
you, also it will give you the opportunity to go and test your new
interactive skills, verbal or non-verbal. Meditation can be useful, it
helps the rational part of your brain to stay in the driver’s seat and
you will be less tempted to act impulsively. As sometimes internet
porn can be a sort of self medication for boredom, stress or
loneliness your cure to this will be just the same thing, go and get
busy, not only busy but also satisfied, you can’t just keep the same
life and just cut out porn, you must replace it with something better,
learn something new etc.

Reboot is about changing your behavior and becoming

something better so don’t threaten your sexuality with doom just to
fight off urges. Give yourself time for the transition, forgive yourself if
you slip and keep going. Educating yourself on the how and why’s of
porn use can be very valuable and powerful knowledge to help you
identify what is going on and act on it. Keeping yourself inspired and
motivated is probably one of the most important things, wether it is a
book or person, it is something you can go back to on a daily basis to
get back on track.

It is important to measure yourself to who you were yesterday,

nofap reports may be specific to one individual and you may not
experience the same benefits at the same time, maybe it will take
longer, maybe you will experience withdrawal symptoms and others
won’t. Whatever happens you are making place in your brain for a
better life. One thing that makes men quit on recovery is the flatline,
they get this unusual period where they have totally loss their libido
and their penis is less than active, some men in the attempt to “save
their libido” go back to porn but others continue and push through
the flatline and after that everything will continue to go their way. A
theory is that since a person has started using porn it is likable that
they have given their penis and libido very little rest since porn is
always accessible and that this flatline is the brain actually recovering
getting in some sort of “sleep mode” concerning your libido. One
thing ex-users experience as well is insomnia, especially if
masturbating was part of their goodnight ritual, masturbate then go to
sleep. They may experience for a few days but it goes away, then
again supplements and techniques like reading and cutting the lights
etc may help. Triggers are a real danger to the recovery period and
may be for quite a long time, procrastination or mood swings may
tempt you into using, it is important to identify this triggers and act on
them so they don’t tempt you into bingeing and masturbating. It can
be obvious like avoiding to sit in bed with your laptop but it can also
be small things, one ex-user reports that when his parents leave the
house and shut the door he instantly felt the need for porn. When this
happens identify what just happened and find a way to avoid the
trigger or stop yourself from succumbing to it. One benefit of porn but
that can also challenge you is the “return” of emotions, some you
haven’t felt as strongly and some you haven’t felt at all in possibly
years, all this an be overwhelming and can make you better and
stronger but also can weaken making you more vulnerable to using
pornography again. Some men report having what is called the
“chaser” effect, after a relapse or even sex they still experience or re-
experience craving for porn even if they haven’t been looking at it for
a while. During a reboot the brain also undergoes a sort of
“housecleaning” of thoughts, images and behaviors related to the use
of pornography, those can appear in dreams or “flashbacks” where
wether it’s in a dream or when awake is having flashes of sexual
content/images, this can tempt the rebooter to masturbate but with a
bit of willpower and concentration they should be able to overlook
them. In the journey to reboot it is important to not overload yourself
with shame, especially people who have a cultural or religious
background that describe porn and masturbation as something
shameful and immoral, some of these individuals end up in a cycle of
shame, relapse, shame etc without finding the cause of this
pathological behavior, how it has tricked your brain and how you have
the strength to overcome it.

A lot of rebooters have placed fixed rules, like how climaxing to

porn is the problem, so some of them have experienced with
“edging”, we now know that dopamine floods to push us going from
point A to point B (point B being climaxing), after that the dopamine
levels decrease. These “edgers” thinking they aren’t doing
themselves much harm because they aren’t climaxing are pushing
dopamine to the highest level possible and sustaining it for possibly
hours, not only does that not help you recover from anything, this is
the very cause of porn addiction, not finishing to porn. Fantasizing
might be a problem as well, masturbating to your mind recollecting
porn images is not much different from watching pornography and
the rewiring you are attempting to do during the reboot won’t work.
After the reboot you may start to re-experience “normal” fantasies,
how if you see an attractive person etc but not just reimagining what
porn was like. It can take a long time before getting back to “healthy
fantasies”. Fantasizing can also be a “porn-substitute” just like
scrolling through social media or YouTube in the attempt of catching a
glimpse of those hot models, your brain doesn’t know what porn is
but it knows what being aroused is and even though watching a video
of women in shorts isn’t as extreme as porn your brain is still having
use of those addiction pathways and your rewiring won’t achieve to
anything. The addiction is to constant sexual novelty more than it is
to erotic or naked people. A natural intuition for a lot of rebooters is
going back to sex, if they had experienced ED it could be wiser to
abstain from sex for a bit, like for the flatline the brain after quitting
porn needs time to recover from all the overstimulation and eventually
libido will come back naturally. Also a unrecommended mindset is
thinking that the fetishes you have discovered during your use are
just a part of your sexual identity although it may very rarely be the
case, fetishes that slowly disappear through the reboot process have
likely have never been part of your sexual identity but part of that
shocking novelty that you used to get your dopamine so pumped up.
Sometimes a really bad urge will appear, the best way to deal with an
urge is before it arrives, making a plan of what to do in case it
happens has helped a lot of rebooters to act on the urge as soon as it
comes. For some telling themselves to never stop trying, a person
who used to masturbate every day and now is only masturbating
every two days is already doing twice as less, progression is the most
important thing. Also not overthinking about fighting the urges etc
can be a good mindset, living everyday like porn wasn’t an option or
didn’t even exist helped a lot of rebooters.