July 17th 2019

How does death affect you?

I've been told that everybody reacts to death differently. Some cry immediately, some stay in
denial, some don't have an initial response, some react strangely by laughing, some get angry
and some react by being in a state of shock, e.t.c.
The first time that someone I knew died was in 2017, on the 7th of February and I had no idea
how to react. I laughed at first and talked to myself, denying that it happened and wishing I was
right. I usually tell people that I was in a state of shock and I don't think I am wrong because
after I laughed I did nothing, I felt nothing, then I felt angry and eventually I began to cry when
people kept trying to talk to me. The second time someone I knew died was recently, a couple
months ago, he died in his sleep and I still haven't cried. I found out at his supposed graduation
a few weeks ago when they had the look back video on and his picture was put up in loving
memory. Then this morning I found out that Cameron Boyce died two days ago in his sleep from
a seizure. Now I don't know Cameron Boyce but I feel like crying and I think it is because of the
circumstances of his death, it is quite similar to the way my friend died a couple months ago and
I still haven't grieved him. I feel nothing right now and I don't think that is good. I am curious as
to how death affects other people.