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Enywaru Pius

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Your Ego is Holding You Back and You Need to

Work On It
Enywaru Pius Aug 14, 2019 · 5 min read

Remember the fella in that fabricated story that our parents used to tell us when we
were little? The one of the man who had come from nothing to finally being filthy rich
with the help of the locals and when he eventually made it, he changed and become
rude, arrogant to his employees and also the people of the community. Yeah, I know it
was a hoax. (Maybe not)

Well, I don’t seem to remember the script but I should give props to just how our
parents did everything there was to raise us with the most prudent manners and
humility. And yes, there are some of you who are still passing on the same story but at
least now with a more fortified version.

At the climax of your career, your relationships, your journey to building a business or
leading a start-up, we often encounter remarkable levels of success, major wins and
amazing moments that will make us prouder of whatever it is we are doing.

To stay at the top of your game, to maintain a healthy relationship or to scale-up your
business, one thing is going to want to get in your way and it often comes at you
strongly without you noticing and gradually eats you up……Your Ego!

If there is one thing that has continued to derail us from our right paths to achieving
even greater success is the enormous ego we have thrown around often. You’ve have
lost touch with humanity, you’re so full of yourself, you don’t want to listen to anybody
and you have refused to swallow your pride at moments when it’s clear that you
should. It happens to even the best of all and should be quite a normal thing.

What about your Ego?

Attaining a certain level of success can easily prompt you to get carried away, to feel a
sense of superiority and before we know it, we are so full of ourselves. The ego sets in,
day by day, it becomes part of our lives because the success got to us and either we have
no idea or are simply adamant to admit that we’ve changed.

When let loose and you choose to not monitor it, your ego robs you of your humility
and fills you with selfishness and all you do is think about yourself. It leaves you
deluded into believing that you are right and everyone around you is wrong, that your
opinion should hold more power than the rest. When your ego is inflated, the stories &
assurances you often tell yourself don’t make it any better but continue to slowly eat
you up like cancer and will eventually take you down.

Your ego is going to have you believe that you are the best, much accomplished beyond
anything and anyone and you can do all the hell that you want. Remember with ego,
comes pride, arrogance and a lack of respect for others’ opinions. You literally don’t
either realize when it's too much, when it’s uncalled for or when to stop.

However, when there’s no ego, we are more open-minded, we are hungry to learn, to
listen and we are eager to become better than we already. We are more remorseful and
everything doesn’t revolve around us. We are more than ever ready to appreciate that
we are flawed and want to work on just that — our weaknesses.

If there is one thing that has crushed dreams, ruined relationships, failed start-ups &
companies and held you back for the longest time, it’s your Ego and you need to check
it. We lose our sense of mind, emotion or humility when we let our ego get in the way.

How to tame your Ego

Admit it, you are not right all the time( and you won’t be)

The way you take yourself in the presence of your peers and employees when an
argument comes up and you are seemingly wrong but you won’t accept, it says a lot
about how your ego is eating you up. Learn to realize that you are not perfect and there
could be or there is someone better than you and that you’re not God to be right all the
time.

Do more listening than talking

Just because you are the boss of the company doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen. The
thing about people with ego is that they don’t want to listen to others but usually want
to be listened to and to them that should be the order of the day. You really need to stop
being the guy that wants to be listened to all the time because you don’t want to talk a
lot and make a fool of yourself. Allow yourself to learn, be corrected and more of the
listening.

Be remorseful

Sometimes it’s never about winning but the ability to keep a great sense of humility
among us whenever an argument arises. When you are full of yourself, you will often
fail to see just how much you are hurting the people around you with your ego, how
you are tearing everyone apart because you have lost a connection with them and the
world around you.

If you want to tame your ego, you should not lose your humility and sense of wonder.
 Swallow your pride

Swallowing your pride and behaving rationally doesn’t mean bruising your ego or
losing all sense of pride. It means looking at the situation from all angles and then
taking the action that’s in everyone’s best interest. Try it, it works just perfectly.

Criticism will always be there, embrace it

If you are someone that is easily triggered by criticism, then you are going to always
have ego and anger issues. You need to learn how to deal with criticism and know that
it’s not about to change. However, you can learn to play it to your advantage and use it
to better yourself. Although it might be tough to receive constructive feedback, the
discomfort is actually your ego wincing.

Ego is the voice that will always tell you that you are better than who you really are and it’s
the same voice that will still be preventing you from a direct and honest connection to the
world around you.

Leadership Advice Self Self Improvement Life

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