Module 19 : Gender Roles and

Differences

Student Objectives:
To learn the difference between sex and gender
To understand how gender identity develops
To learn how children generally express their gender
To understand the concept of non-conforming to gender or
being transgender
To learn about mental health and gender identity

19.1 Introduction
Gender roles and the differences between
genders is a hot topic these days and
depending on who you ask, there are only two
genders or many.

The concept of gender identity is something that parents and

caregivers should always be aware of, and this module will
focus on this.

19.2 The Difference Between Sex and

Gender
For most children, being a boy or a girl is
very natural, and when a child is born,
babies are said to be male or female based
on their physical characteristics.

This is referred to as the “sex” of the baby. When a child can

express themselves, they will declare to be a boy or a girl,
or in some cases, somewhere in between. This is referred to as
the child’s “gender identity.” Most children have a gender
identity that aligns with their sex, but for some children,
the path between their sex and gender is not clear.

FACT

When babies are born, they are determined to be either male or

female based on their physical traits. This classification is
referred to as the “sex” of the baby.

Source: CPD
19.3 The Development of Gender
Identity
At around the age of two, children begin to
notice the physical differences between
males and females, and by the time they turn
three, most will label themselves as a boy
or girl, and they will play with toys that
are “girl toys,” such as dolls, or “boy
toys,” such as trucks.

By the time they turn four, they will have a sense of their
gender identity and practice gender role behavior, or doing
“things that girls do,” or “things that boys do.” By the time
they turn six, most children’s playmates are those who are the
same sex and will play sports or activities that are
associated with their gender identity.

Experts in gender urge parents and caregivers to allow

children to make the choice when it comes to choosing the
sports and activities they get involved in, even if it is
traditionally a “boy” activity and a girl wants to join and
vice versa.

19.4 How Do Children Generally

Express Their Gender Identity?
In addition to playing sports or joining activities, children
will typically display their gender identity in the following
ways:

Preferred name
Clothing style or hair
Social behavior
Physical gestures
Social relationships
19.5 Gender Stereotypes
When a child has interests that are
different from what society deems belongs to
a certain gender, the child is often
discriminated against or bullied.

It is a natural feeling for a parent to want the child to be

socially accepted, but children must also feel comfortable in
their own skin. Experts recommend that parents should never
force their children into traditional gender behavior.
Instead, they should encourage their child to fulfill their
own potential.

19.6 Transgender and Gender Non-

Conforming Children
Some children don’t identify with any
gender, and they feel as if they lie
somewhere in between the genders or that
they have no gender.

It’s natural for the parents and caregivers of these children

to believe that this is “a phase,” and for some children, it
is. For others, however, it is how they are and will become
transgender adults. This means that they identify with a
gender that is the opposite of their birth sex.

For instance, a child that is physically born as a male may

grow up to identify as a female. Many children that identify
as gender non-conforming grow up to have a lesbian, gay, or
bisexual orientation.

Take a Quick Recap Test

19.7 Parenting a Child Who is

Gender Non-Conforming
There is no way to predict how a gender non-
conforming child might identify later in
life, and this uncertainty often is
difficult for the parent or carer of the
child.

In this situation, it is important for a parent or carer to

make the home a place where the child feels that they are
loved unconditionally and safe. Research shows that our gender
cannot truly be changed, and it is something that cannot be
changed by any intervention.

Will a Gender Non-Conforming Child Always Grow Up to Be

Transgender?
Research shows that children who are consistent, persistent,
and insistent about their chosen gender are those who are the
most likely to become adults who are transgender. It is
important that parents follow the lead of the child, however.
This can be difficult for parents for a number of reasons,
including when they don’t have an answer about the future of
their child.

Here are some signs that a gender non-conforming child may

grow up to be transgender:

If a child has identified as a different gender for

several years, it is unlikely that they will change
 their mind. For example, a 12-year-old physical male who
has identified as a female since the age of four will
likely remain transgender for life
Sometimes a child who is gender non-conforming will
change, and it usually occurs by the time they are 10
years old
A child might also change their gender identity when
they go through puberty. Sometimes a teen who has never
shown any issue with gender identity or expression will
start changing this idea as their body begins to change.
Some parents of teens who are transgender are very
confused, and they aren’t sure if it is “just a phase,”
or not. It is helpful for parents to allow their teens
to explore their gender and consult with a therapist or
counselor who has experience with transgender teenagers

19.8 What Causes a Child to

Identify with a New/Different
Gender?
We don’t understand why some children begin
to identify with a gender that is different
than their birth sex, but researchers
believe that it is strongly biological and
possibly social.

There is no evidence at all that parenting has any effect on

gender identity that is different from biological sex. There
is also no evidence that childhood trauma will cause a child
to be gender non-conforming or transgender.

Parents must understand that there is nothing “wrong” with

their children at all, in fact, but because of the way that
some members of society view those who are different from
themselves, these children are at risk of bullying. As has
been mentioned before in this course, the best thing a parent
can do is to love and support their child as they are.

19.9 Gender Identity Vs Sexual

Orientation
The concept of sexual orientation refers to
who an individual is sexually attracted to.

This doesn’t generally become evident, however, until later

childhood. Gender identity, on the other hand, refers to the
way a person identifies themselves during early childhood.

Though gender identity and sexual orientation are quite

different in terms of development, some children who are
gender non-conforming can grow up to identify as gay, lesbian
or bisexual.
Additionally, gay, lesbian, and bisexual adults might remember
that they exhibited gender non-conforming behavior during
their childhood. Parents should understand that, like a
person’s gender identity, their sexual orientation cannot be
changed.

19.10 Gender Identity and Mental

Health
All gender non-conforming children are at
risk of mental health issues and bullying.

A large number of teen suicide attempts have links to

sexuality and gender identity. Parents of these children must
be aware of that fact and take on a role that shows respect,
understanding, and support for that child. The best thing for
parents to do is to take a non-judgemental approach to gain
the child’s trust and help them through difficult times.
Research shows that supportive families significantly reduce
the risk of suicide.

Here are some things that a parent can do to support their

child and to improve and support their health:

When children reveal their identity, a parent should

respond in a way that is supportive and affirming.
Though sexuality and gender identity cannot be changed,
the way a person identifies their identity can change
Parents should also love and accept their child as they
are. They should validate and support them in order to
push them into a healthy adulthood
Parents should also stand up for their children when
they are mistreated. It’s important not to minimize the
bullying or social pressure the child is facing
Parents must also make it clear when they hear jokes or
slurs that are based on sexual orientation, gender, or
gender identity cannot be tolerated
Being aware of insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem, and
depression are all important for parents. The children
who fall into these categories and who do not have a
supportive circle of friends or family might struggle
with mental health issues
 Parents should encourage their child to join
organizations for LGBTQ youth
Diversity should be celebrated in all forms, and parents
should offer access to movies and books that positively
portray gender and sexual orientation. Additionally,
parents should introduce their children to celebrities
who are part of or support the LGBTQ community
It is also important that parents of these children
support their choices of self-expression such as their
hairstyle, clothing, and friends
If parents feel as if they need to learn more about
gender or sexual orientation, they should reach out to
support groups, resources, and educational opportunities

Conclusion
It can be challenging for parents and caregivers to raise a
gender non-conforming child. They have to deal with lots of
uncertainty, and with schools, extended family, siblings, and
even the community, some of whom might not be very accepting.
Many organizations offer support for children and families who
are dealing with gender or sexuality identification. Search
for local groups in your community that provide support. Many
families also find it helpful to meet with medical and
psychological professionals for consultations, not only as
individuals, but also as a family, couple, or group.

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