Sample Draft 2 – Feedback Provision (Language Use)

Through this activity, you will be able to understand the appropriate way you can provide high-quality feedback to your peers. To do it, follow the next steps:

1. identify all the mistakes that you can find in the text.
2. Mark each mistake with the corresponding L3 Correction Symbols (find the list in V.S – “important Documents”)
3. Write a short comment about your classmate overall use of grammar and vocabulary.

P
A PROS AND CONS OF THE USE OF MEDICATION IN SWIMMING COMPETITIONS
R
A
G Currently, there are many medications used in swimming to improve the performmance (SP) of elite athletes as it allow (SVA) them to
R improve their performance (REP) when competing, this allows the athlete ^ improve their habilities (SP) in terms of breathing and
A
P
resistance in the water and be more faster (AF). So, the athletes have chosen to use legal and illegal medications such as dopamine
H for their training and competition, as stated by many health experts in organizations such as USA swimming who say that these drugs
in the short term effectively improve abilities of athletes (S+V+C). In the same way, ^ use of medications improves the physical
1
appearance of athletes, since as stated by experts from the organization USA swimming, the use of medications allow (SVA) muscle
fibers to break and can build muscle mass more effective (WW).

P
A In (WW) the other hand, in relation to the above, the use of medications also had (WT) negative consequences for athletes. A clear
R
A example is the alteration of the male and female reproductive system. Affirm (WW) the studies carried out by experts from the world
G anti-doping agency AMA, They affirm that after several tests with some athletes, they find (WT) alterations in the reproductive system
R
A
of both sexes. There is also another consequence that affect (SVA) them directly and for the use of medicines and violation of the
P rules it is the disqualification in the competitions (S+V+C). As the FIFA organization states, since in most cases they are responsible
H for organizing competitions (?¿). finally (WW), it is important ^say that the use of medications brings negative and positive aspects to
2 the health of athletes and that competitions are often affected by it.

General comments:

* Language use: You showed a good use of vocabulary related to the topic and I understood most of your ideas  Be careful with grammar mistakes such as
Subject and Verb Agreement (SVA) as you sometimes forgot to conjugate some verbs in 3 rd person of the present simple. This mistake is repetitive in most of your
composition.

Revised by: Angelica Castro Rodríguez

Copyright © 2019. Universidad de La Sabana, Department of Foreign Languages and Cultures. Material adapted from: Great Writing 2 - Cengage by Folse, K., Muchmore, A, Vestri, E. Adapted by Porras, C (2019). All Rights Reserved. No part of this
material
shall be reproduced, transmitted, distributed or commercially exploited, except with express written permission from the copyright holders. Enquiries for permission to reproduced all or parts of this material should be directed to fld@unisabana.edu.co
Copyright © 2019. Universidad de La Sabana, Department of Foreign Languages and Cultures. Material adapted from: Great Writing 2 - Cengage by Folse, K., Muchmore, A, Vestri, E. Adapted by Porras, C (2019). All Rights Reserved. No part of this
material
shall be reproduced, transmitted, distributed or commercially exploited, except with express written permission from the copyright holders. Enquiries for permission to reproduced all or parts of this material should be directed to fld@unisabana.edu.co