DARK HUMOR COMPILATION

1) What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween?

Free delivery

2) China should be a cricket team bc they can take out the entire world with just a bat

3) what is the difference between an apple and an orphan

An apple gets picked

4) Why do orphans only have 363 days

They don’t have mother or father’s day

5) so the other day, I saw this kid crying and I asked him where his parents

I love working at an orphanage

6) the twin towers were mad about their pizza order

They didn’t order it plain

7) what do u call a crowd of black ppl

An auction

8) Why cant Chinese ppl play cricket

Bc they ate the bat

9) the other day I got kicked out of a library

For putting a book about women’s rights in the fantcy section

10) An elderly women asked me to check her balance at the bank

So I pushed her off

11) my wife wanted me to treat her as a queen

So I got drunk and went into a tunnel

12) "What's your name, son?" The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david,
sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter
but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

13) When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird
how many people take knives with them on dates.

14) What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

15) The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She
still isn't talking to me.

16) Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

17) "I work with animals," the guy says to his date.  "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who
cares about animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.

18) Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!

19) An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

20) In Syria, there are no Walmarts

Only targets

21) My sons into astronomy and he asked me how stars die

I told him they usually die of over-dose

22) Racecar backwards is Racecar

But Racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died

23) I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

24) The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

25) What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a
worm.

26) A lot of things changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant

My name, My address, My phone number

27) My grandma told me to be positive

But I was going for a covid test

28) Why did the child cross the road

Bc he didn’t wear a seat belt

29) As I get older I remember I ppl I lost along the way

Ima tour guide

30) What does a cannibal call a pregnant women

A kinder surprise

31) why don’t Chinese kids not believe in Santa

Bc they make the toys

32) Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb twice so that she can get it

33) What do you call an autistic kid with a gun

Special forces

34) The “W” in “Africa” stands for “Water”

35) My Ex said that I had no sense of direction

So I packed my stuff and “Right”

36) Kobe jokes don’t land well

37) Which gun does not exist in Africa

The water gun