“Forgiveness and Reconciliation”

Written By: Donna Marie Tariman

The rain is pouring hard like a release of an unsought fervor coming from the sky. The

thunder generating a bolt of terrifying sound as it echoed in every corner of our house, and

the strike of lightning made its way from the open like the atmosphere trying to anticipate

the news that was about to come. I sat there in our dining table unruffled, quietly finishing

my share of the Tater Tot Casseroles that my Mom cooked for dinner. The deafening silence

between the both of us somewhat created an unusual, heavy aura that made me quiver in

thought.

“Cayden, how’s school today?” my Mom uttered in a gentle but cold manner.

Munching on the casseroles, she glanced at me for a bit and immediately shifted her vision

to what she is eating. She isn’t normally like this, so I wandered at the back of my mind. “Fine,

Mom” I softly responded. “Are you okay?” I added. Staggered by my question, she paused for

a bit, tightened her grip on her fork and gave the meal in front of her a blank gaze. The sound

of the pouring rain and rumbling thunder continued to resound in the corners of the house

and a long silence in the dining table took place. My Mom didn’t answer the question and just

resumed on eating her casseroles. A few moment later, with an empty plate in one hand and

a glass half-filled with water on the other, my Mom stood up as she was about to make her

way to the sink. “Are you finished?” she asked. Wanting to go back to my room I quickly

munched on the casseroles left in my plate, handed it empty to my Mom and drank water as

I stood myself up from my dining chair. She was about to make her way to the kitchen sink
to do the dishes when the telephone rang from the living room. In shock, my Mom swiftly

placed the plates back on the table, paused and with wondering faces we stared at each other

for a while as the telephone continued to ring. “Let me take it Mom.” I volunteered and was

about to run to the living room to take the call when my mom uttered “No, Cayden. I’ll take

it.” so I stopped, looked at her and silently nodded. She slowly took her steps towards the

living room with an odd, worried expression like she already knew what she was about to

hear. I followed her through my gaze until she arrived there. With a trembling hand, she

picked up the phone and let out a heavy breath. “Hello?” she answered on the other line. As

she was listening to what the person calling has to say, the worry that was on her face at once

turned into a shock, and tears started to form in her eyes. Not later than that she started to

sob and eventually cried loud and hard that outweighed the loudness of the pouring rain and

thunder outside. I immediately ran my way towards the living room, wrapped my arms

around her and unknowingly teardrops also started to pour from my eyes. “What’s wrong

Mom?” I asked in between sobs. Still holding the telephone on her ears she sat on the floor

and continued to cry hard. “Your Grandma’s gone, Cayden.” she revealed with a grieving sob

and a deeply sorrowed eyes. I sat there, still hugging her, and pain started to radiate through

my heart and body upon hearing the news. Tears started to rapidly fall from my eyes and we

stayed there for a long while, with my mom’s hands wrapped around me and her chin on top

of my head.

The morning after, I and my Mom were preparing ourselves to go to the funeral chapel

where my grandma is. Still with sad and sorrowed eyes we prepared the flowers that we are

going to bring until we received another call informing us that Aunt Michelle, Mom’s older

sister, is already riding her plane home and is also about to go to grandma’s funeral. After
the call, fear and worry instantly crept into me. Ever since I was still a kid until now that I am

on my sophomore year in high school, my Mom and my Aunt never had a good relationship

towards each other. My Aunt still loathe my Mom for not allowing her to bring grandma with

her to the country where she’s staying. My Mom did not permit that to happen because she

knows and she was certain that grandma prefers to stay here, in North Carolina, where she

grew and lived.

It was still raining hard. The gray gloomy skies seemed to take part in my family’s

mourning. We, me and my Mom, were standing there, outside the funeral chapel, hesitant to

step our feet inside where my Grandma is. The rainwater is already splashing through our

clothes and the cold blowing wind rippling through our weeping hearts and so we decided

to go inside. As we slowly walked our way towards my grandma’s coffin, the people inside

the chapel followed us with their concerned gazes. “Cayden, do you want to place these on

top of your grandma’s coffin?” my Mom, smiling but still with a hint of sadness in her eyes,

referring to the flowers that we brought. I nodded and then got the flowers, stepped closer

and placed it nicely and properly on where she told me to place it. A few minutes later and

Mom started to sob and cry again. I rubbed her back to comfort her and accompanied her to

the seat just near in front of where the coffin. Just as we were about to sit down my eyes

caught a tall, nicely-poised lady on her forties wearing a slim black dress with her hair laid

down. My Aunt Michelle. She’s here.

Everyone settled as it is in time for giving of eulogies. It was Aunt Michelle’s turn first

and so she made her way to the front with an intimidating aura. Surprise was evident on my

Mom’s face as she saw her sister. She didn’t know that she was already here. Aunt Michelle
started uttering her message to her mom. She was all emotional, she laughed and cried in the

midst of recalling her good memories with her but by the near end of her speech, she started

to stare badly at Mom and hate was very evident in her eyes. “You!” with tears in her eyes

she shouted, pointing her finger to my Mom. “You should’ve just let me bring her with me to

Canada! She woud have been greatly taken care of there!” she continued as tears continued

to roll down her eyes. With outraged emotions she started to walk towards us and sternly

grabbed my Mom by the hair with my Mom not fighting back and just allowing her sister to

hurt her. I promptly tried to get my way in between them and some people in there also

helped me stop my aunt from attacking my Mom. “This is all your fault!” Aunt Michelle yelled

as she continues to fight my Mom. Ache and agony started to sulk into me as I watched my

Mom silently cry, taking all her sister’s hurt. A few minutes later and we were able to get the

both of them away from each other. Everyone sat down on their seats, cooled down and

eventually settled.

The rain already ceased. The atmosphere was then again peaceful and tranquil. The

cold blowing wind remained, and it was my Mom’s turn to give her eulogy. She gently stood

up from my side, went in front and with bloodshot eyes from crying all day, she started her

speech. “Yesterday, before I knew that my mom died, I really felt something different.” she

said with a gentle sob. “Something strange. Like something unpleasant is about to happen.

Then later that night, I received the call” she continued, along with her cry. She then paused,

and looked at Aunt Michelle with sincere eyes. “Michelle, I never intended to be selfish to

you. Staying here is what mom wants, and it’s what makes her happy.” Mom explained and

tears also again started to pour from Aunt Michelle’s eyes. “I don’t want for mom to go with

the both of us like this, that’s why, right now, I apologize for the pain I’ve caused you,
Michelle.” she sobbed and slowly walked towards Aunt Michelle with open arms. Both crying

heavily, they embraced each other and Aunt Michelle also apologized to Mom.

Grandma would’ve love seeing her daughters like this. Connected and reconciled.

Indeed, reconciliation and forgiveness is inextricably linked to the identity and unity that we

develop as human beings.