“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

” –
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Chanel, Nike, Apple. Vogue, Le Creuset, Manolo Blahnik.
All brands including the ones mentioned above manifest an image in our minds when they are mentioned. Good, bad,
luxurious, efficient, feminine, masculine, generous, stringent, any number of descriptors may come to mind. Based on the
behavior, image, products and creator’s mission, each brand is unique unto itself. Each brand made decisions along the
way to establish themselves as the brand we now know, and while each brand cannot control absolutely the exterior world,
how they respond to it is solely in their control.
While it may seem that as individuals we have no need to worry about branding if we aren’t in business ourselves, I would
argue it is each of our most important tasks in life to be cognizant of the fact that each of us are our own brand. How we
present ourselves to the world can build our resumé for not only stronger professional relationships, but stronger personal
ones as well. And because every day is an opportunity to build the brand we wish to leave as a legacy when we are long
gone, it is vitally important to maintain a protected private life. We must have a sanctuary to come home to at night, people
we can trust and a space to not worry about perception because if we don’t have the balance of a strong personal sanctuary,
we will be unable to be at our best when we go out into the business of life.
Consider for a moment historical figures you admire that have passed on decades if not centuries ago. Each of these
individuals had a similar amount of time as each of us to leave their stamp on the world. And because of their actions,
choices and ways of living, we are still mentioning them in conversation, looking to them for inspiration and holding them
in high regard. Names that come to my mind – George Washington, Jane Austen, Susan B. Anthony, Mark Twain, Rosa
Parks, Joan of Arc, Ralph Waldo Emerson. Each are human, no special powers that any of us couldn’t acquire if we so
choose, and yet their legacies are awe inspiring.
Whether you are destined to leave a legacy that the entire world will know about or simply the community you live in,
choosing to leave behind a legacy you are proud of, and a brand you have pursued purposely will create a life of living for
yourself which brings much contentment and joy.
There are many components to consider when establishing the brand you desire. Let’s begin with actions because as the
old, yet timeless maxim states, “actions speak louder than words”.
Actions
“The universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts – it gives you what you demand with your
actions.” ― Steve Maraboli
1. Proactive or Reactive – do you choose to set goals, plan and remain focus until they are met or are you a victim of life’s
events that occur around you?
2. Constructive or Destructive – are the habits you keep, behaviors you exhibit and predilections you include in your life
building the life of quality you want or slowly destroying it? Eating, fitness, relationships, attitude, etc.
3. Helpful or Hurtful – do you step in with compassion or pounce on the downtrodden?
4. Work Ethic – do you give your absolute best even when it isn’t expected or needed, or do you give just enough to get
by?
5. Sponge or Stone – do you have an insatiable curiosity for life and continue to be a student beyond the classroom or are
you satisfied with the status quo and just getting by?
And while actions are indeed powerful, some of the most powerful means to cheer someone up or pull someone down are
by the words one chooses:
Words
“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the
mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill
1. Diction – your word choice matters. Do you reveal yourself to be knowledgable or close-minded? Honest or deceitful?
Observant or ignorant?
2. Tone – regardless of what you say, what feeling is created to those that hear you when you speak? Are you sincere or
sarcastic, light-hearted or hurtful, comforting or cold?
3. Projection and Pitch – when you speak, do you command attention? Do you display yourself to be strong or meek,
certain or doubtful?
Appearance
“You can have whatever you want if you dress for it. ” ― Edith Head
1. Physical Health – one’s projection of good health conveys to others your good sense and respect for yourself. There is
no certain weight, height or age that a brand can’t have, but rather an appearance of respecting what one’s body can do for
them and caring for it accordingly conveys knowledge and potential for success in other endeavors as well.
2. Cleanliness/Grooming – when you project an image of cleanliness no matter what you wear, again you project self-
confident and self-respect. If you are willing to look out for yourself and take care of yourself, a subtle level of trust has
been built. Granted, depending upon your line of work, cleanliness may be relative – athletes, construction workers, fire-
fighters, etc clearly have other more important objects to focus on than sweat stains, but a presentation of the
understanding of it at the proper level is key.
3. Wardrobe – often the first impression of one’s appearance is the clothes one’s wears, and while we mustn’t judge a book
by the cover, humans are visual and what they see, they respond to. Choose your “wrapping” carefully based on what the
situation calls for. Depending again on your circumstance and the brand you want to build. For example, a person pursuing
success in the fashion industry will have to dress differently than a farm-hand working on the ranch; however, dressing
appropriately for the job will convey one’s preparedness and awareness of expectations.
Thoughts
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.”  –Buddha
1. Attitude – positive or negative, possible or impossible, hopeful or cynical. Do you approach life with a determination
that your best days are in front of you or behind you? The attitude you convey will draw to you similar minded people, so
be sure you draw whom you desire.
2. Internal Dialogue – what does the conversation in your mind sound like? Your thoughts predict your words and your
actions, so be mindful to encourage supportive, positive repartee in your mind day in and day out.
Every single day, we project an image, an attitude, an idea of who we are out into the world which either draws the
connections we want toward us or keeps them at bay. And while looking at our lives posthumously may provide much
motivation to develop a brand we are proud of decades and centuries after we are gone, it is the rewards in the present that
will be even more appreciated because, while establishing the brand you wish to convey will take time and much
discipline, when you have created a habit of living in such a way that you are proud of, your entire life will be elevated –
your mood, the quality of your days, your relationships and your relationship with yourself. All of which will cultivate a
most amazing simply luxurious life of which could only happen with conscious effort and purposeful decision making.
Yes, you really do have the power. Now build the brand you’ve been dreaming about.

“If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and
masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and
experience.”

– Swami Vivekananda

Our past experiences as children, young adults and even in our past as adults wire our minds to expect certain outcomes

when particular or similar events occur.  Pure and simple, we are trying to put ourselves in control of the situation, and

based on past experiences, we are assuming the outcome will be what it was last time.  Knowing this information can
provide calm and peace of mind if the expectation is positive, but when the hard wiring is based on a negative experience,

it can taint future experiences that have no intention of following the same path.

Such negative experiences may have occurred when we were in school – being teased or bullied by fellow students or a

teacher who appeared to not be willing to listen or help, or at home with a parent, relative or sibling who was unsupportive,

insulting or ridiculing, or perhaps in relationships where infidelity or disrespectful behavior took place. Whatever the

negative experience was, it most likely has a triggering effect on your self-talk when similar situations arise, and it is

important to recognize this, so that you may change it, thus improving the quality of your life as a whole.

Below are steps on how to permanently rewire your self-talk so that it is positive and reaffirming that a fulfilling and

beautiful life is attainable.

1. Know Your Triggers

Most importantly, it is vital that you understand what triggers your negative self-talk to begin. Is it a certain environment,

certain people, a particular job or responsibility? Whatever it is, understand what it is about the situation that causes your

hackles to go up and for your negative self-talk to spiral downward enabling a course of events to play out that don’t

necessarily have to had you flipped your self-talk to optimism. Then determine why this takes place. What are you afraid

will happen, and why do you assume this negative outcome? Be honest with yourself.
2. Apply the Brakes

Once you have assessed your triggers, put a stop immediately to your negative thinking. Whether you have to verbalize out

loud, “Stop this now!” or wear rubber bands on your wrist and snap them to snap yourself back to the present, do so. 

However, I do want to stress that your feelings are valid. They are occurring because of something that did occur in your

past that made you feel uncomfortable and/or hurt you emotionally and/or physically.  This is not to be taken lightly (and if

you can’t deal effectively with these feelings on your own, I highly advise you to speak to a trained professional. Having a

neutral party to talk to is a healthy decision and nothing to be ashamed of). However, your feelings at this present moment

may not be rational or fair to the people you or situation you are now involved with, and this is why you must apply the

brakes immediately.
3. Be Prepared With Helpful Statements

Once you’ve halted your negative thoughts, have written down on a piece of paper in your purse, your planner, saved on

your phone or memorized, a positive statement that will remind you to maintain your faith and optimism. The statement

should be short, focused and state what you wish the desired outcome to be. “I will pass this test.” “I can trust my partner.”

“I am capable of maintaining my composure.” “I will not have another piece of cheesecake.”

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” –Mahatma Gandhi

4. Focus on the Present

So often the fears we have that create the negative self-talk are a result of what we fear will happen in the future – “I’ll be

laughed at”, “I’ll get my heart-broken”, “I’ll be rejected”, etc. And while it is admirable to plan ahead, in this type of a

situation, focus on the present moment. Focus on the person you want to project yourself as. Focus on helping the current

moment be the best it can be. Yes, there may be moments when the best thing you can do is leave because you are that

uncomfortable, but instead of storming off in a huff and causing a scene or hoping it will change if you do cause a scene

(which it most likely won’t and not in a beneficial way for you), politely remove yourself.

5. Face Fears Head On

Once you decide to face your fears head on, you begin to alter your self-talk permanently. Because when you decide to

look fear in the face, determine what exactly you are afraid of by realizing what the worse case scenario is and how you

will deal with it should it happen, you have shattered fear’s hold on you. More likely than not, the worst case scenario isn’t

as bad as you thought, and no matter what, as long as you know you can rely on yourself should a relationship go sour or a

job be taken away, you need to know that you will be just fine because your most valuable and reliable asset is yourself.

I share this post with you today because while in many ways I am confident in my abilities in a variety of aspects in my

life, there are still areas in my life that I work on with regards to my self-talk.  Such an extensive rewiring takes time and

conscious effort, but the change you seek is possible. Respect yourself and your future enough to be resolute in the

decision to change your thinking to a manner that is more kind, supportive, loving and respectful of the life you want to

create, and if anyone tramples on these desires, move forward and change your scenery to be surrounded by people who
don’t want to hurt you, but will respect you and support you.