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Evan Button

Mrs. Cramer

College Comp I

1 October 2021

APPLICATIO COLLEGIUM

Often do I catch myself wondering, what comes next? What comes next for me in life;

the decisions I am required to make to be able to grow as a student, or a person. Rarely do I even

dare to become curious about the future for me as an individual, as it is a truly daunting thought.

Sometimes, it strikes me that soon I will begin the rest of my life; that presents me with great

anxiety. As I traverse my mind and thoughts, I give thought to post-secondary education which

brings me here. I am daunted by the idea of continuing education, second guessing myself and

my ideas. I think back to my previous advancements in school; elementary to middle school,

middle school to high school, and I think of all the tribulations, afflictions, and triumphant over-

comings I have had in each; I think of my passions and the diverse topics I enjoy, as well as the

subjects which have not suited me as strongly.

When I reminisce on struggles passed in my academic career, I first think of how I failed

my teachers, as well as myself, in sophomore year. I spent most of the year shortcoming course

demands, falling short of goals, being absent from classes, and not caring about wherever I found

myself after high school. I had given up all hope for a desirable and optimal future for myself.

This time was the lowest of my life, even outside of my academics, as I was struggling in such a

sense. It took everything I had to wake up every day and get out of bed. I finally decided to

change the way I acted when I saw how poor my living conditions were; how awful I felt, and
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how terrible it must have been for those around me to witness what I was becoming. I had

become the antithesis of the life I knew I could live. My friend once described me as a

“Completely different person [from who she met].” I think when statements akin to such became

more common, I began to change how I acted, as well as treated myself. I started taking care of

myself. I brought myself so far along the journey of my life; I was not ready to quit, I had much

more to live for.

How I eventually overcame my plethora of issues in my sophomore year was: catching

myself up on schoolwork, reigniting my social life, and beginning to be mentally proactive. I

always caught myself being busy. I never gave myself time to be unproductive. Whether it was

personal social demand, aspirations to learn a new skill, or academic needs, I kept myself kicking

no matter how hopeless my situation seemed. I never plead for mercy from my teachers because

what happened was my fault. Thankfully, by their sheer selflessness, they provided me

opportunities to make one final home stretch and pass for the year. By the time I had finished the

year, I had fixed my academic and personal escapades. I completely threw myself off guard by

succeeding in my academic life. I realised I could achieve, with enough effort, anything I

deemed feasible in my academic and personal life. I reevaluated my life decisions and put in

place a piece of myself I had lost for an long time, pride. Pride in my abilities as a student,

friend, musician, and someone who could do anything he put his mind to. I made myself happy

again.

Conclusively, that is the story behind how I dug myself a hole, laid in it for a while, and

then stood up to bring myself back to being the student and person I knew I could be. I gave

myself the life I wanted to live, and every day I am pushing myself to continue to give myself the
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best quality of life I can. I believe that everyone, given enough time and self-discipline, can

reach a point of self-fulfillment, to me, an unequivocal feeling.