An Alpha’s Nightmare

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/27407230.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Relationship: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Character: Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Miya Atsumu,
Hoshiumi Kourai, Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa Tooru
Additional Tags: Angst, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Songfic, Alpha/Beta/Omega
Dynamics, Omegaverse, alpha kageyama, Omega Hinata, Alpha Miya
Atsumu, Mating Bond, Scenting
Series: Part 4 of Karasuno Omegas
Stats: Published: 2020-11-05 Words: 1946

An Alpha’s Nightmare
by RikuNghts

Summary

Kageyama waits for Hinata to come back to him.

Notes

This is part of the Karasuno Omegas series. It takes place years after the end of The
Unwilling Omega. It’s my first piece in this series from the eyes of an alpha. I got the idea
from listening to the vocaloid Kaito’s song 1/4. The lyrics come from it, and I recommend
you listen to it as you read.

The bold italics are lyrics, regular font is present, italics is past. There’s a lot of movement
in this story.

Comments are much appreciated.

https://youtu.be/ccdn1a5LOwk

See the end of the work for more notes

<Watch my heart beat out of my chest

We've done something wrong

Was it you?

Or am I the one here taking the blame?>

Kageyama leaned against the wall in the hallway feeling like a teenager again. The game would be
starting soon, but he had to see Hinata first. It had been too long since they had last seen each other.
Since they’d made promises whispered in the dark, words etched into his skin in the shape of
Hinata’s nails as they scored his back. Bruises sucked into the delicate skin on a collarbone.

<Feel my throat sink deeper and deeper, I'm gasping for air

Is it me?

Or are you not feeling this, feeling this,

feeling the same?>

Before he saw them, he could smell the mingled scents of sugared lemons in sunshine and autumn
leaves. Turning down the hallway he saw Hinata’s bright hair before he saw the familiar man
hanging off of his shoulder, a smirk on his face. The implication of the scents hit him like a
shockwave that left him reeling.

“Hinata…”

“Kageyama! Hi!”

“What have you…”

Miya Atsumu smiled slyly as he leaned further over Hinata. “Not picking a fight with my setter,
are ya, Kageyama?”

He might as well have said “my omega.” Kageyama frantically searched Hinata’s neck for the
telltale mating bite.

<I've done everything

perfect to instruction>
“I want to wait, Tobio. I need to travel first.”

“Where are you going?”

“To Brazil. I want to train. Play beach volleyball. Get stronger than you.”

Kageyama smirked. “You think you can get stronger than me?”

“The score is even. I’m going to pull ahead.”

“Well, I guess I can wait.” Kageyama scooped Hinata up into his arms and held his omega close.
Hinata laughed and kissed him deeply as Kageyama carried him to the bedroom.

<Tell me you're trying

Tell me I'm lying>

“The Jackals are going to beat the Adlers, and I’ll have another point up on you!” Hinata grinned
gleefully, fully unaware of Kageyama’s inner turmoil.

He had to be wrong about that scent. It was just because they were close. Atsumu moved behind
Hinata and draped his arms over his shoulders, resting his chin in his head. Hinata looked up in
surprise.

<I've done everything

perfect for destruction>

“I’ve tried calling you,” Kageyama said impatiently into the phone. “Did you even get any of my
messages?”

“I’ve been busy. Oikawa and I have been training. I sent that picture…”
“To me and a group of people. You never respond to my personal messages.”

“Kageyama…”

“When are you coming home?”

“Home? To Japan? I’m not ready.”

That wasn’t what Kageyama meant. He meant home. To him. “Then I can come visit you in
Brazil.”

Hinata laughed. “You’re busy with your games. Look, I’ll be back when I’m ready. I gotta go. We
have a game soon.”

There was no click or dial tone as the call ended, but Kageyama felt it the line go dead as if it was
him.

<I can't be alone with this feeling>

Every rut, Kageyama panted Hinata’s name. He knew he’d messed up when they were kids, but
they’d made promises. Didn’t Hinata feel it, too? Was he going through his heats alone, crying out
Kageyama’s name?

<Am I the only one

That's holding on for far too long?

Was it all just a dream?

Am I wrong?

Was there no 'You and Me'?>

“I think the two of you can catch up after the match,” Atsumu said, a sly smirk on his lips. “I’m
sure you have so much to talk about.”

“Yeah, we do! A lot to catch up on! You’ve been so busy with the Adlers and I had tryouts and
practices with the Jackals. And it’s not like our teams are close, so.” Hinata glanced around as if
anxious to leave the conversation.

Did Hinata not remember those promises? Was Kageyama making them up? Words he meant to
speak but never did in the middle of a heat? What if never had said them? Had his chance been
taken from him?

<Scream and call me hopeless

Shout out that you have nothing left

Something, Just say anything

Don't end this with words left unsaid>

“Come on, Shouyo. Time for the team meeting.”

Hinata glanced up at Atsumu and nodded. He looked back at Kageyama and offered him a weak
smile.

<Don't you hear me crying out for you?

As you turn away

Is it true?

Or are you not feeling this, feeling this,

feeling the same?>

Ushijima and Hoshiumi approached him as Hinata turned and walked away.

“What happened?” Hoshiumi asked. “Hinata seemed different.”

Ushijima, who had known about their relationship, placed a hand in his shoulder. “Let’s go warm
up. Put it out of your mind.”

<I've done everything

perfect to instruction>

“Make sure you wait for me!” Hinata said as he passed through the security gate at the airport.

“Always,” Kageyama murmured as Hinata walked away, bag slung over his shoulder.

<Tell me you're kidding

It's the beginning>

“Hinata is back from Brazil.”

“What?” Kageyama whipped his head around.

Iwaizuma shrugged. “Oikawa told me he sent him off. I guess he got a chance to try out for the
Jackals.”

“He didn’t tell me.”

“Maybe he wanted to surprise you.” Iwaizumi smiled weakly.

<I've done everything

perfect for destruction>

Kageyama never drank. But he did that night. Ushijima sat with him, nursing the one beer he’d
ordered earlier in the night as Kageyama hit the third.

“You should slow down. We have practice in the morning.”

Kageyama ignored his warning. “Why hasn’t Hinata tried to get in contact?” he slurred.

<I can't be alone in my grieving>

“Come on. Let’s get you home.” Ushijima grabbed his mug and set it aside, paying the tab.
Kageyama was aware of being lifted from his seat. There was a car ride he didn’t remember. Keys
pulled from his pocket. Shoes pulled off his feet. Water pushed into his hand. Someone putting him
into bed. “Don’t leave me,” he whined.

“I’ll be on the couch. Get some sleep. Things will be better in the morning.”

<Am I the only one

That's holding on for far too long?

Was it all just a dream?

Am I wrong?

Was there no 'You and Me'?>

How was he supposed to focus on warm ups? He set the ball, missed a few, got chewed out by their
coach. And then he shut down his mind and put his body on autopilot. No thoughts of anything at
all. Just letting his hands set the ball where they knew it needed to go. He could do it in his sleep.

Focus on the ball.

<Scream and call me worthless

Shout out that you have nothing left

Something, Just say anything

I can't push on with emptiness>

They switched courts. Kageyama glanced at Hinata, desperate for anything. A look. Any look.
Instead he kept his eyes trained on the floor. Atsumu walked between them, bumping into his
shoulder. Ushijima was there to catch him and keep him from making a fool of himself.
<Am I the only one

That can't feel anything at all?

The guilt and all the lies

All the times I gave it my best try>

The game finished. The Jackals won. But it didn’t matter. Kageyama stared at Hinata who had
crossed his arms across his chest. Blissfully Atsumu had gone into the locker room, and Ushijima
was nowhere to be found.

“Shouyo…” he took a step forward and Hinata took a step out of his reach.

<I'll be real, I am tired

I remember now, All your fire

And all the things that you put me through

Tore my heart into…>

Kageyama sat on his bed staring at a picture of the two of them their final year of high school.
Yachi had taken it, and it was one of few pictures where he was smiling. Hinata looked as happy as
ever.

He was tired of waiting. Why was Hinata ignoring him? No return calls, no return texts. No one
even knew where he was staying, aside from the fact that he was trying out for the Jackals. Was he
trying to surprise him?

Who knew with Hinata. He flipped back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The last few years had
been hell. Knowing he was with someone else, sharing heats, but he could get past that just to have
him back…

<Was I supposed to just be okay

With everything that you did!?

I was broken, I was hurting

But I'm meant to forgive?>

“I’ve been waiting for you! This whole time!” Kageyama yelled into the phone. “I haven’t been
with a single person since you left.”

“Kageyama, you didn’t have to wait for me. We didn’t agree to that.”

“We made a promise!”

“About the future. About after. I’m still here, and you’re still there. I didn’t ask you not to spend
your rut with someone else. I know how hard it is. How could you expect me not to find some
relief? It’s not like it meant anything.”

“Things can happen! You know things can go wrong.”

“Yes, I’m well aware of how wrong things can go, Kageyama. Did you think I’d ever forget what
happened when we were sixteen?”

<You cut me to pieces

It's your fault I'm a complete wreck

And I guess I didn't matter to you

The worst part? I always knew>

Hinata shifted and his jersey slipped, revealing two perfect rows of teeth marks on his scent gland.
His heart dropped out of his chest as he stared at it. Hinata shifted awkwardly on his feet and
reached up to cover the mark.

“Tobio...I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

“How was I supposed to find out?”

Hinata shrugged and glanced at the ground. “I couldn’t think of a way. It’s...it’s why I didn’t get in
touch with you. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“...was it an accident, or intentional.”

Hinata’s eyes never left the ground. “...intentional…”

Kageyama felt the tightness in his chest reach a breaking point. It dropped to the pit of his stomach.
His head grew fuzzy. Tears stung his eyes but refused the fall. It was hard to breathe. All of the
oxygen had been forced from his lungs and there was none left for him in the room. “After all
we’ve been through.”

“Kageyama, I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t force the words past his lips.

“Tobio? Please say something.”

What was there left to say? He’d waited all those years for Hinata only to have his future ripped
from his hands. He turned without a word and walked away.

<So here's my final "Fuck You">

Kageyama sat up with a gasp. A sheen of sweat covered his face and a bead dripped down his
back. Breathing was difficult, and he clasped his knees, resting his forehead on them.

It was just a nightmare. Right? He hadn’t imagined the past two years.

Kageyama turned his head to make out the sleeping body at his side. The sheets had slipped down
revealing Hinata’s bare shoulder. His orange hair was a mess on the pillow, and he slept soundly,
unaware of Kageyama’s panic.
 His racing pulse settled when he saw him lying there, and he carefully lay back down, spooning
behind Hinata. He dropped an arm carefully over his waist and tucked his head against his neck,
breathing in deeply the mingled scents of sugared lemon and petrichor.

In his sleep, Hinata reached up and touched his hand, grounding him.

End Notes

The ending was originally not going to be there. It was going to end with the final lyric, but
I decided to make it more of an ambiguous ending. What happens next it up to you!

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