MARCH 2021

ET THE
ME

PIORE
By ADAM

10-Minute
LIFE
FIXES
By CAROLINE FANNING

How to Stay
POSITIVE
An RD ORIGINAL

SCAM
SHOCKER!
From AARP THE MAGAZINE

“Oreos Brought
Us Together”
AND OTHER BFF STORIES

20
Most Trusted
HEALTH Disability Can
BRANDS Be Beautiful
America’s Top Picks From CHICAGO TRIBUNE
 C A R E S H E R E .

A N D H E R E .

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 Reader ’s Digest

CONTENTS
Features 70
home & life
88
drama in real life

52
cover story
10-Minute Life Fixes
Need some extra cash?
Want to get in shape?
Rescue on the
High Rise Bridge
With his truck dangling
DOES THIS DOG Looking to cook or 70 feet above a roiling
KNOW WHETHER clean better—or even river, a trapped driver’s
YOU HAVE CANCER? feel happier? These
37 small tweaks can
only hope is a team
of trained emergency
The canine nose is
lead to big changes. rescuers—who are
a marvel of nature.
by caroline fanning stuck in traffic.
Science believes
by anita bartholomew
that a computerized
model of it will save 82
millions of lives. trusted brands 98
national interest
by adam piore Swish, Burn, Love
It’s not pretty, and it’s From the Comfort of
64
the stranger who
not sweet. How brown
Listerine became No. 1
Their Jail Cells
A diabolical scam pulled
changed my life in Americans’ hearts off by prisoners snares
My Most and mouths. everyday Americans.
Unlikely Friend plus: The 19 other most by doug shadel from aarp
Would you pal around trusted health brands.
with your spouse’s ex
or someone who put a
by bill hangley 110
humor
foot in your face? These My New Husband’s
readers did—and found Secret Life
lifelong companions. I thought the man I’d
married was a rock star.
andrea de santis

That turned out to be

closer to the truth than

70 I ever imagined.
by nancy french from
washingtonpost.com

rd.com | march 2021 1

Reader ’s Digest Contents

Departments
6 Dear Reader
8 Letters
everyday heroes
10 From Role
Model to
Runway Model
by nara schoenberg
from chicago tribune
13 It Took a Village
by andy simmons
how to
20 Lift Your Own
Spirits
by courtenay smith
and samantha
rideout
your true stories
26 Monkey in the
Middle, and More
13 things
28 24-Karat Nuggets
About Gold
by emily goodman 20
On the Cover
Photograph by Jason Varney

Meet the Dogs That Sniff Out Cancer ................. 52

10-Minute Life Fixes ............................................... 70
How to Stay Positive ............................................... 20
Scam Shocker! ......................................................... 98
“Oreos Brought Us Together”.............................. 64
Disability Can Be Beautiful ................................... 10
20 Most Trusted Health Brands ........................... 82

2 march 2021 | rd.com

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Reader ’s Digest Contents

the food on
your plate
34
by kate l
and daniel g Go Ahead,
l Do Nothing
38 Rules for by jeffrey davis from
psychologytoday.com
Brain Games
You Are
by megan m Word Power
from bloomb Photo Finish
news from
44 Sleep Under a 14
Weighted Blanket, Life in These
and More

from top: yagi studio/getty images. jonathan kirn/getty images. floortje/getty images
United States
everyday miracles 32
50 A Teacher’s Laugh Lines
Lifesaving Call
by emma taubenfeld 42
Humor in Uniform
48
All in a Day’s Work
108
Laughter, the Best
Medicine 114
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34
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4 march 2021 | rd.com

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Reader ’s Digest
DEAR READER
Best Friends
W
e put our Australian herder,
Sadie, down recently after
she asked us to kindly do so.
For 17-plus years, as I wrote here last
February, she’d been a 24/7 worker,
always tending to her humans (cattle
being hard to come by in the sub-
urbs). Then one day, she lay down on
her dog bed, let her eyes fog over, and
waited for us to get the message.
It took us a week, and then we took
her to the vet. “Some owners wait too
long, some not long enough,” he said,
examining her. “This is perfect. She’s
ready.” Yet another thing Sadie got ex-
actly right and made easy for us.
In the car, our younger dog, Steph,
watched Sadie go in and kept her eyes
on the vet’s office door, ears up.
They couldn’t have been more dif-
ferent, Sadie and Steph. Rather than
Dumb and Dumber, they were Diligent
and All Dog. Steph isn’t interested
in looking smart to the humans.
Her talents are pre human,
smelling a million scents in the
faraway woods, running helter-
skelter after them, and then
returning to her pack’s
warm bed to calmly
await the next scents.
6 march 2021 | rd.com
Sadie, at right, was so smart. But to
appreciate a dog’s life, she needed Steph.
Yet Sadie, ornery about the doggi-
ness of other dogs, took to Steph from
day one. Steph got her to lie near and
chill. She let Sadie nag her to behave.
When we hiked, Sadie hard on our
heels, Steph would disappear in a blur
before circling back to break-dance,
bark, and try to get Sadie to play. Out-
rageous! Sadie would bark. But then
she would play, sort of, herding her
sister a bit before letting her bolt free
like a receiver out for a long one.
When the vet finished, I softly
touched Sadie’s warm body. It was
beautiful to feel her finally completely
at rest. The closest to this calm she’d
been was lying next to Steph.
from top: courtesy bruce kelley. matthew cohen
A year ago, I challenged you to prove
that your dog was smarter than Sadie.
The stories you sent cheered us all.
Now please go to rd.com/petpals to
share a special story of pet friendship.
RD’s Best Pet Pals contest honors
our animals’ profound capacity
to bond. And thank you, as al-
ways, for contributing so much.
Bruce Kelley,
editor-in-chief
Write to me at
letters@rd.com.
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Reader ’s Digest

Dear Reader

LETTERS
In one short letter,
Bruce Kelley made me
Notes on the cry three times: first for
Dec./Jan. issue how sweet he and his
boy are, second as I
hoped for the same re-
lationship with my own
The Season for Family Miracles twins at that not-so-far-
off stage, and last as I
The story of the woman bonding with her realized how old I am!
new stepmom over the red coats they both —Staci McNicholl
wore around Christmas and inherited from Mahomet, Illinois
their deceased moms brought tears. My
We Found a Fix
daughter was four when her grandmother You advise sliding an
died. She always says she doesn’t remember upside-down penny
much except she always wore her red coat. between tire treads to
—Kathleen McCarthy Butler, New Jersey see whether they’re too
worn. I think you meant
to say replace them if
2020 Holiday The Double Triple all of Lincoln’s head is
Shopping Guide This article about a visible, not any. If the
I once gave my grand- medical team perform- majority of the penny
son a freshly oiled cast- ing back-to-back triple can sink into the crev-
iron pan that was my organ transplants was ice, that’s about three
dad’s. He’d just moved amazing. As the widow eighths of an inch,
into his own house, and of a donor, I know that which is plenty of tread.
I knew he loved cook- the priceless gifts re- —Fred Knackmuhs
ing and corn bread. ceived from the donors Albion, Illinois
He’s used it for years. deserve to be acknowl-
The next year, I gave edged. Without the loss Prowling for
more gifts from my and sacrifice of two Dust Bunnies
home that are special families, these miracu- Mary Roach’s mischief-
to me. The joy on my lous surgeries would loving Roomba made
rd photo studio

relatives’ faces couldn’t not have been possible. my entire family laugh.
have been bought. —Connie Johnson Exercise weights flank
—Jane Greco Albuquerque, our end table because
Maplewood, Minnesota New Mexico of Roomba’s aptitude

8 march 2021
 for trapping itself my mom found in the HANKIE-PANKIE
underneath. The day hip-hop Charleston
after I read this, along era. So, we can blame ✦ I believe my mother
came Roomba to dis- our brains! went to the same school
connect the Christmas —Hazel Dinius of etiquette as Scott
tree lights. Time for Belfair, Washington Turow’s. She taught me
more dumbbells! to always carry a hand-
—Richard Brewer Everyday Heroes kerchief in my back
Reedville, Virginia I just read the story pocket. My father taught
about Alison Malmon, me to always carry a
Oldies but who, after losing her good pocketknife in
Feel-Goodies brother to suicide, my front pocket. These
Thank you for explain- started what’s now the practices became habits
ing that our brains largest mental health that have endured for
over 70 years. Also,
imprint on music advocacy organization
my mother always said
from our youth. I grew for young adults. You’ve
that a lady carries two
up with the angelic published so many hankies, one for show
ed freeman/getty images

sounds of Nat King helpful tips to cope and one for blow.
Cole and the Beatles with mental illness that —Wayne Christensen
and couldn’t under- parallel what my thera- wenatchee, washington
stand why new music pist has been teaching
sounds so discordant. me. Thank you for that. ✦ I’m happy to know I’m
On the other hand, I —Erin Stoops not the only one who still
never understood what Grove City, Pennsylvania carries a handkerchief
everywhere. As a boy
(almost 60 years ago),
Onward and Upward I got a new suit and asked
Everyone hits a few headwinds on the turbulent my dad why only one
flight path of life. There are plenty of tough back pocket had a but-
moments that feel impossible to weather—and ton. He said the pocket
yet we make it! Was there a challenge you’re with the button was
particularly proud of mastering? An especially for your wallet and the
dark tunnel ended by an especially pocket without a button
bright light? Would your story was for your handker-
inspire others? Tell us about it and chief: “You always want
see terms at rd.com/stayingpositive, to be quick to pull out
and it might make it into a future your hankie but slow to
Reader’s Digest feature. get your wallet.”
—Alan Davis
moorpark, california

rd.com 9
Melissa Blake in
the ensemble she
modeled for the
Runway of Dreams
fashion show.
 Reader ’s Digest

EVERYDAY HEROES

From Role Model to

Runway Model
A disabled activist won’t let Twitter trolls stop her
from seeing herself as she really is—a star

By Nara Schoenberg
from chicago tribune

A
s a teenager in the 1990s,
Melissa Blake was interested in
fashion. Unfortunately, fashion
wasn’t much interested in her.
Blake, who has a genetic bone and
muscle disorder and stands a little un-
der four feet tall, couldn’t find jeans
chicago tribune/getty images
of her condition, she can walk short
distances with difficulty but sometimes
relies on an electric scooter. “When
you’re a teenager—disabled or not—
you deal with issues of self-esteem. If I
had seen someone who looked like me,
I would have felt really seen.”

or dresses in her size. Paging through
Glamour and Cosmopolitan, she
didn’t see a single person who looked
like her, and it hurt.
“That would have been a game
changer for me,” says Blake, who had
26 surgeries before age 17 to treat her
Freeman-Sheldon syndrome. Because
Blake, 39, has spent her adult life
trying to make up for that. She is a
disability-rights activist as well as a free-
lance writer whose work has appeared
in the New York Times and Glamour,
but she gained a national following in
2019 after clapping back at trolls who
made ugly comments about her online.

Photograph by Stacey Wescott rd.com | march 2021 11

Reader ’s Digest Everyday Heroes
“During the last round of troll-
gate,” she tweeted, “people said that I
should be banned from posting pho-
tos of myself because I’m too ugly. So
I’d just like to commemorate the occa-
sion with these three selfies ...”
In one of the greatest “I’ll show
you!” responses of all time, over the
next year, Blake posted a new selfie
every day.
“WHEN DISABLED
PEOPLE ARE
INCLUDED, IT SENDS
A MESSAGE.”
“Some selfies were serious, like the
ones where I talked about disabilities
or how I was feeling on not-so-good
days,” she wrote on refinery29.com.
“Some were fun and silly, showing
off my love for photo filters. But each
was a celebration, and each carried a
message.”
Her fans went wild, calling Blake a
goddess and a powerful woman. One
wrote, “Work it girl! YOU IZ FAB.”
“I feel like every time I post a selfie
or share something about my life as
a disabled woman, that is representa-
tion that is going to combat this able-
ism,” Blake told WBUR.
Among her fans is Mindy Scheier,
the founder and CEO of Runway of
Dreams, which showcases fashion for
people with disabilities. The show is
part of the glitz and glamour of New
12 march 2021
York Fashion Week and includes ap-
pearances by designer Tommy Hil-
figer, Paralympics snowboarding gold
medalist Brenna Huckaby, and Def
Leppard drummer Rick Allen. Last
fall, Scheier asked Blake to be one of
the event’s 24 models.
“Melissa is a force to be reckoned
with and unapologetic about what the
world should look like,” Scheier says.
“Being able to put Melissa in argu-
ably the biggest fashion event of the
year just hit home how important it is
to expand who consumers are in the
fashion industry, or who should be
on runways, or what we’re really rep-
resenting in the word model.”
Since the Runway of Dreams show
was virtual, Blake’s sister filmed her
riding her scooter on a quiet street
dressed in a graphic T-shirt, capris,
and an oversize maroon vest with a
fluffy fur collar.
“It was a little scary,” Blake says of
modeling. But she’s glad she took the
challenge. Often, when we think of
access for people with disabilities, we
think of buildings and employment,
she says. But it’s also important to have
access to what’s fun and enjoyable.
“Fashion isn’t going to solve all the
world’s problems,” says Blake. “When
disabled people are included, it sends
a message that we deserve a seat at
the table in all aspects of life, frivolous
or not.” RD
chicago tribune (september 16, 2020), copyright
© 2020 by chicago tribune. all rights reserved.
used under license.
 It Took a
Village
By Andy Simmons
I
da Nelson was luxuriating in her
sister’s sauna when she heard the
rumble of a small airplane circling
the nearby airport.
It was 11:30 at night in the Alaskan
village of Igiugig, population 70, and,
as she told the New York Times, “Any
time a plane flies over that late, you
know something is wrong.”
Nelson and her sister leaped out of
the sauna, ran to the window, and saw
the problem: The airport’s runway
courtesy sandra alvarez with the igiugig tribal village council
lights were out.
Nelson threw on some clothes,
jumped into her ATV, and floored it
to the airport, where she found a lo-
cal pilot trying to turn on the lights
manually.
“Normally, if you push the button
10 or 15 times, the lights will just light
up,” Nelson told KTOO out of Juneau.
Not this time. Meanwhile, she and
the pilot learned of the plane’s urgent
mission: It was a medevac, there to
transport a seriously ill local girl to
the nearest hospital, 280 miles away
in Anchorage.
Nelson had a plan. Driving her
ATV to the end of the runway, she
shone her headlights on the tarmac
This landing strip was pitch-black when
a medevac pilot tried to land at night.
for the plane to follow. Great idea,
but it wasn’t enough. More light was
needed, so a neighbor called nearly
every home in the village—32 of them.
Within 20 minutes, 20 vehicles
arrived at the airport, many of the
drivers still in pajamas. Following
directions from the medevac pilot,
the cars lined up on one side of the
runway.
The medevac made its final ap-
proach and, guided by the headlights,
landed safely. The young patient was
loaded onto the aircraft, and the plane
immediately took off again. Her ill-
ness was never publicly revealed, but
she has since been released from the
hospital.
In a world filled with uncertainty,
the little community’s positive activ-
ism was a big deal. Not so much for
Nelson. As she told CNN, in Igiugig,
coming together “is kind of a normal
deal.” RD
rd.com 13
Reader ’s Digest

LIFE
in these
United States

Wise Beyond
Their Years
✦ My granddaughter’s
life philosophy, which
she quoted in a third-
grade essay: “Money
can’t buy happiness,
but it can buy cows.
Cows can make milk,
and milk can make
ice cream, and ice
cream can make you
happy.”
—JoEllen Turner
Nucla, Colorado “Gorgeous night for I asked, adding a
✦ Wife: “The Romans a walk.” —Me, moving sly nod toward my
were gluttons. They from couch to chair. father-in-law.
overdid everything.” — @alyssalimp “I didn’t have to,”
Daughter, age 11: she said. “They all
“You can’t overdo Prior to dinner, my know him.”
water parks.” 80-year-old mother-in- —Cynthia Boehning
cartoon writer: david galef

— @robcorddry law stopped off at the Janesville, Wisconsin

✦ I asked my cousin’s beauty parlor. “All
four-year-old nephew, the women did was My friend George
“What are you going complain about their adopted an adorable
to be when you grow husbands,” she said but stubborn Austra-
up?” He replied, over our entrees. lian terrier puppy
“Still me!” “Did you complain who refused to be
—R.m. via rd.com about your husband?” housebroken.

14 march 2021 Cartoon by Dan McConnell

 Prayers for my husband, who, very Times. “Afterward,
tragically, got me nothing for our Twain heard a couple
talking. The wife
anniversary when I specifically told him said, ‘I think that
I wanted nothing for our anniversary. might have been the
— @mommajessiec funniest person I’ve
ever heard in my life.’
Frustrated, George reading at a bookstore The husband replied,
signed them both up near Bangor to a ‘I’ll tell ya, he was
for expensive obedi- crowd that sat there so funny, it was all
ence classes. in stony silence,” she I could do to keep
Recently, I saw wrote in the New York from laughing.’ ”
man and pup out for
a walk and asked how
the training went. THE KING OF BEERS’ CASTLE
courtesy picture it sold photography/courtesy kearney & associates realty

“Well,” George said, This real estate listing photo for a condo in Lake Worth,
“I don’t poop in the Florida, shows what happens when “Budweiser’s
house anymore.” biggest fan” gets to decorate the house—the walls
—Jane Hamilton and ceilings become an homage to his favorite brew.
O’Fallon, Missouri It’s too late if you’re craving the place, since it’s been
sold. But take solace: All the cans were empty.
Maybe it’s the harsh
winters, but people
from Maine are known
to be tough nuts to
crack. Consider this
evidence, courtesy of
author Jennifer Finney
Boylan: “There’s a
story about the time
Mark Twain gave a

Your funny true

story could be worth
$$$. For details, go to
rd.com/submit.

rd.com 15
 IS YOUR Urgency
BLADDER
ALWAYS
Frequenc y

TAKING Leakage

YOU ON A Take charge of your

TRIP OF overactive bladder (OAB)
symptoms by talking to your

ITS OWN? doctor about Myrbetriq today.

In clinical trials, those taking

Myrbetriq made fewer trips to the
bathroom and had fewer leaks than USE OF MYRBETRIQ (mirabegron)
those not taking Myrbetriq. Your
results may vary. Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) is a prescription
medicine for adults used to treat overactive
bladder (OAB) with symptoms of urgency,
frequency and leakage.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
Myrbetriq is not for everyone. Do not take
Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron
or any ingredients in Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may
*Based on 24-month TRx shares for all branded cause your blood pressure to increase or make
OAB medications, IMS Health National your blood pressure worse if you have a history
Prescription Audit, March 2018–February 2020. of high blood pressure. It is recommended
THIS INFORMATION DOES NOT IMPLY that your doctor check your blood pressure
SAFETY OR EFFICACY OF ANY PRODUCT;
NO COMPARISONS SHOULD BE MADE.
while you are taking Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq
may increase your chances of not being
able to empty your bladder. Tell your doctor
right away if you have trouble emptying your
bladder or you have a weak urine stream.
Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc.
All other trademarks or registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.
©2020 Astellas Pharma US, Inc. All rights reserved. 057-4141-PM
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION (continued)
Myrbetriq may cause allergic reactions that
may be serious. If you experience swelling of
the face, lips, throat or tongue, with or without
difficulty breathing, stop taking Myrbetriq and
tell your doctor right away.
Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take
including medications for overactive bladder or
other medicines such as thioridazine (Mellaril™
and Mellaril-S™), flecainide (Tambocor®),
propafenone (Rythmol®), digoxin (Lanoxin®) or
solifenacin succinate (VESIcare®). Myrbetriq
may affect the way other medicines work, and
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Before taking Myrbetriq, tell your doctor if
common side effects of Myrbetriq include
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increased blood pressure, common cold
symptoms (nasopharyngitis), dry mouth, flu
symptoms, urinary tract infection, back pain,
dizziness, joint pain, headache, constipation,
sinus irritation, and inflammation of the bladder
(cystitis).
For further information, please talk to your
healthcare professional and see Brief
Summary of Prescribing Information for
Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) on the following
pages.
You are encouraged to report negative side
effects of prescription drugs to the FDA.
Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch
or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) extended-release tablets 25 mg, 50 mg
Brief Summary based on FDA-approved patient labeling
Read the Patient Information that comes with Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) before you start taking

place of talking with your doctor about your medical condition or treatment.
What is Myrbetriq (meer-BEH-trick)?
Myrbetriq is a prescription medication for adults used to treat the following symptoms due to a
condition called overactive bladder:
• Urge urinary incontinence: a strong need to urinate with leaking or wetting accidents
• Urgency: a strong need to urinate right away
• Frequency: urinating often
It is not known if Myrbetriq is safe and effective in children.
Who should not use Myrbetriq?
Do not take Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron or any of the ingredients in Myrbetriq.
See the end of this summary for a complete list of ingredients in Myrbetriq.
What should I tell my doctor before taking Myrbetriq?
Before you take Myrbetriq, tell your doctor about all of your medical conditions, including if you:
• have liver problems or kidney problems
• have very high uncontrolled blood pressure
• have trouble emptying your bladder or you have a weak urine stream
• are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if Myrbetriq will harm your unborn
baby. Talk to your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.
• are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if Myrbetriq passes into your breast milk.
Talk to your doctor about the best way to feed your baby if you take Myrbetriq.
Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter
medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Myrbetriq may affect the way other medicines work,
and other medicines may affect how Myrbetriq works.
Tell your doctor if you take:
• thioridazine (Mellaril™ or Mellaril-S™)
®
• )
• propafenone (Rythmol®)
• digoxin (Lanoxin®)
®
)
How should I take Myrbetriq?
• Take Myrbetriq exactly as your doctor tells you to take it.
• You should take 1 Myrbetriq tablet 1 time a day.
• You should take Myrbetriq with water and swallow the tablet whole.
• Do not chew, break, or crush the tablet.
• You can take Myrbetriq with or without food.
• If you miss a dose of Myrbetriq, begin taking Myrbetriq again the next day. Do not take 2 doses
of Myrbetriq the same day.
• If you take too much Myrbetriq, call your doctor or go to the nearest hospital emergency room
right away.
What are the possible side effects of Myrbetriq?
Myrbetriq may cause serious side effects including:
• increased blood pressure. Myrbetriq may cause your blood pressure to increase or make your
blood pressure worse if you have a history of high blood pressure. It is recommended that your
doctor check your blood pressure while you are taking Myrbetriq.
• inability to empty your bladder (urinary retention). Myrbetriq may increase your chances of not
being able to empty your bladder if you have bladder outlet obstruction or if you are taking
 other medicines to treat overactive bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you are unable to
empty your bladder.
• angioedema. Myrbetriq may cause an allergic reaction with swelling of the lips, face, tongue,
q and tell your doctor right away.
The most common side effects of Myrbetriq include:
• increased blood pressure • dizziness
• common cold symptoms • joint pain
(nasopharyngitis)
• dry mouth • headache
• constipation
• urinary tract infection • sinus (sinus irritation)
• back pain
(cystitis)

Tell your doctor if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away or if you have
swelling of the face, lips, tongue, or throat, hives, skin rash or itching while taking Myrbetriq.
These are not all the possible side effects of Myrbetriq.
Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to the FDA
at 1-800-FDA-1088.
How should I store Myrbetriq?
• Store Myrbetriq between 59°F to 86°F (15°C to 30°C). Keep the bottle closed.
• Safely throw away medicine that is out of date or no longer needed.
Keep Myrbetriq and all medicines out of the reach of children.
General information about the safe and effective use of Myrbetriq
Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in the Patient Information
ot prescribed. Do not give Myrbetriq
to other people, even if they have the same symptoms you have. It may harm them.
You can ask your doctor or pharmacist for information about Myrbetriq that is written for
health professionals.
For more information, visit www.Myrbetriq.com or call (800) 727-7003.
What are the ingredients in Myrbetriq?
Active ingredient: mirabegron
Inactive ingredients: polyethylene oxide, polyethylene glycol, hydroxypropyl cellulose, butylated
hydroxytoluene, magnesium stearate, hypromellose, yellow ferric oxide and red ferric oxide
(25 mg Myrbetriq tablet only).
What is overactive bladder?
Overactive bladder occurs when you cannot control your bladder contractions. When these muscle
contractions happen too often or cannot be controlled, you can get symptoms of overactive bladder,
which are urinary frequency, urinary urgency, and urinary incontinence (leakage).
Marketed and Distributed by:
Astellas Pharma US, Inc.
Northbrook, Illinois 60062

Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc. All other trademarks or registered
trademarks are the property of their respective owners.
©2012 - 2018 Astellas Pharma US, Inc.
Revised: April 2018
206813-MRVS-BRFS
057-2652-PM
 HOW TO

Lift Your
Own Spirits
We all feel down now and then,
especially lately. These techniques
can help you bounce back.

By Courtenay Smith
and Samantha Rideout

20 march 2021 Photographs by Joleen Zubek


O
n a freezing January evening,
Ashley Austrew sat in her car in
an Omaha, Nebraska, parking
lot, working up the courage to go into
a comedy improv class. For 20 min-
utes, the 33-year-old journalist and
mom of two sat with swirling thoughts
of self-doubt: “OMG, I can’t do this. I’ll
be the worst one.” Then she turned off
the engine, took a few deep breaths,
and went inside.
For Austrew, trying improv was the
first small step to improve her self-
esteem. “All my life, I’ve lacked con-
fidence,” she says. “I didn’t have the
courage to try anything new.” So she
made a list of all the things she was
afraid to attempt and then asked her-
self, What if I didn’t let my excuses
win? Improv was her biggest target.
Her fear dissolved as soon as she
walked into the class. Her classmates
were also beginners, and she discov-
ered that she was perfectly capable of
earning a few laughs and making new
friends. Over the next two years, Aus-
trew went on to tackle other what-ifs,
including writing a book. “Self-esteem
is like a muscle—you have to work it
constantly,” she says.
Some people are blessed with a
seemingly unshakable positivity, but
most of us need to learn how to pull
ourselves up by our bootstraps. Psy-
chologists say we tend to experience
our lowest self-esteem in adolescence
and spend much of our adult lives
slowly building it back up. Staying
positive has been tough in the past
Reader ’s Digest
year. Since the pandemic began, three
times as many American adults have
reported symptoms of depression or
anxiety (the malevolent cousins to
low self-worth) compared with 2019.
Thankfully, like Austrew, we can learn
to feel better about ourselves and
strengthen our feelings of hope. (Of
course, anyone experiencing severe
or persistent symptoms should seek
professional help.) Here are eight
science-backed strategies to improve
your relationship with the person in
the mirror.
Embrace the Upside
of Feeling Down
First, realize that negative emotions
aren’t inherently bad—they can be
useful. “That ping of anxiety gets my
attention and says, ‘Hey, you need to
focus on this,’ ” says psychologist Ethan
Kross, author of Chatter: The Voice in
Our Head, Why It Matters, and How
to Harness It. If you need to deal with
an immediate problem—say, reining
in overspending—that call to focus
is helpful. But negativity spirals into
something harmful when a particular
thought circuit just won’t shut off. If
you can’t sleep because of it, feel phys-
ically stressed all the time, or keep
rehashing the same situation, those
are signs you need to employ tools to
break the cycle, says Kross.
Engage in Smarter Self-Talk
In his lab at the University of Michi-
gan, Kross asks subjects to talk to
rd.com 21
Reader ’s Digest How to Lift Your Own Spirits
themselves in the second person,
and to use their own names. Instead
of saying, “I’m so nervous about this
meeting on Tuesday,” for example,
say, “[Your name], you seem pretty
nervous about this meeting.” Kross’s
research shows that this simple
shift in language gets people into
problem-solving mode quicker. “They
turn into coaches and start advising
themselves, taking stock of the prob-
lem and figuring out if they have the
resources to meet it,” Kross says.
Change Your View—Literally
If you are forlornly looking out the
window lost in a thought loop, walk
to a different window. Alternate per-
spectives help us digest our experi-
ences, and changing our physical view
intuitively jogs a different emotional
one as well. “When I’m stuck feeling a
certain way and I choose to walk away
and look for something better—that’s
a choice to do something good for
myself. That itself is a treatment,” says
Sasha Storaasli, LCSW, an end-of-life
counselor to terminally ill transplant
patients in New York City.
Repeat a Task You’re Good At
Canadian psychologist Patrick Kee-
lan plays piano every day. It’s one
way he practices what he preaches.
When he’s helping people with low
self-esteem, he suggests they rou-
tinely engage with activities that use
or improve their skills. “When you’re
doing something that you’re good at
22 march 2021 | rd.com
or getting better at, it gets harder to
think negatively about yourself,” he
explains. So don’t wait until you’re
feeling confident to work on your
chess game, learn to build furniture,
or try out a new recipe. According to
a 14-year study of 7,000 volunteers,
increasing the self-perception that
you’re mastering an activity of inter-
est to you can boost your self-esteem
at every age.
Reminisce
While some research suggests hap-
piness increases with age, studies
also suggest that self-esteem peaks at
age 60, then declines. As people get
older, the loss of loved ones, profes-
sional identity, or independence can
threaten the sense of who they are.
Telling someone stories from the past
may bolster self-esteem at this key
moment. In a 2015 study from Iran,
a group of widowed men 60 and over
shared memories of the events and
life lessons that had shaped their lives.
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Reader ’s Digest How to Lift Your Own Spirits
This “promoted a sense of identity
and a positive contribution to the next
generation, and reaffirmed the mean-
ing of their lives,” the researchers re-
ported. Take a trip down memory lane
by looking through a photo album
with loved ones or playing music that
reminds you of meaningful moments.
MUSIC THAT REMINDS
YOU OF MEANINGFUL
MOMENTS CAN BOOST
YOUR SELF-ESTEEM.
Believe that You Matter
A 2020 study reveals that mattering—
the bedrock belief that you are impor-
tant and worthy of consideration—is
linked to joy. Strong personal relation-
ships are the best aids to believing you
matter, says an article published last
year in the Journal of Mental Health
and Addiction. Spend time with loved
ones, and remind them you offer a
shoulder to cry on. “It’s nice to know
that someone cares, and they in turn
can count on me when they need
help,” said one person who was inter-
viewed. Maintaining a sense of control,
especially over your health-care issues,
also boosts that sense of importance.
When you take the initiative to find
medical providers attentive to your
needs or ask family members not to
bypass you when medical decisions
are being made, you reinforce the feel-
ing that you are worthy of attention.
24 march 2021 | rd.com
Share Your Feelings—Carefully
When we feel strong negative emo-
tions, we often feel an urgent need to
talk about them. Research shows that
this doesn’t always ease our turmoil,
nor do venting sessions where both
parties complain. Such interactions
can reactivate negative emotions,
making us live through them again.
What’s important is to get feedback
that moves you beyond negative feel-
ings, says Kross. “Talk about what’s
bothering you, but be deliberate,” he
says. “Go to someone empathetic,
someone who doesn’t just listen but
who gives you advice and helps you
see the bigger picture.” Storaasli puts
it bluntly: “You need people who lift
you up. If you don’t have those people,
find them.”
Get Moving
There’s no silver bullet for improving
low morale, but exercise is the clos-
est thing we have. Not only is it good
for stress management and general
mental health but it also provides
a sense of competence and accom-
plishment. Over the years, dozens of
studies have indicated that exercise
has a significant impact on physical
self-worth and other self-perceptions.
The activity you choose matters less
than enjoying it, sticking to it, and
getting at least a moderate challenge
out of it. If going to the gym is not an
option or very enjoyable to you, then
head outdoors for a run or a nice
brisk walk. RD
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Reader ’s Digest

Monkey in the Middle

YOUR I often go to the primate building at the

TRUE
Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. A chimpanzee
named Beau began to recognize me. He
STORIES
in 100 Words
would interact with me and mimic my
gestures. When I told my friend Jerry this,
he was skeptical. So one day, I brought
In a Different League him with me. Beau came down, looked at
I ran a 5K for charity. me and my friend, then went to get a drink
After the race, I wanted of water. When he returned, Beau spit
to see how my time
ranked in my category his mouthful of water at Jerry. Was he
of men ages 30 to 34. jealous? We had a good laugh.
I was close to the bottom, —Sandy Rozelman Euclid, Ohio
which I chalked up to
being 34—the other guys
were simply younger.
I was determined to rank
higher the following year,
when I’d be 35 in the
35 to 39 age bracket.
But that year, I was
mistakenly registered
in the over 70 category—
and finished fourth out
of seven. I can’t even
win against guys double
my age!
—Joe Balthazor A Hard Pill to Swallow have any questions?” Her
palatine, illinois As a pharmacist, I counsel little boy, who had been
patients on their new quietly standing next
medications. One day, to her, raised his hand.
I was informing a woman “Can she still cook?” he
To read more true about the side effects of asked. “Of course she
stories or submit one, her prescription, specifi- can,” I replied. His mother
go to rd.com/stories. cally drowsiness. “You explained ruefully, “He
If we publish yours in won’t be able to work or was hoping you’d say no.”
the print magazine, it drive while you’re taking —Lita Hernandez
could be worth $100. this,” I told her. “Do you manchaca, texas

26 march 2021 | rd.com Illustration by Hallie Bateman

Reader ’s Digest

2
Contrary to
24-Karat Nuggets popular belief,
biting on gold is
About Gold not a reliable way to tell
scyther 5 /getty images (gold nugget)

whether it’s genuine—

other metals are also
By Emily Goodman soft enough to show
teeth marks. And

1
Pure gold is so ductile (translation: stretchy), though many champs
a single ounce of it can be drawn out into chomp down on their
a thread 50 miles long without breaking (at prizes, Olympic gold
which point it also would be too thin to see). If medals haven’t been
you did this to all of the existing gold in the world, made from that metal
it would wrap around the earth 11 million times. since the 1912 Summer

28 march 2021 Illustration by Serge Bloch

 5
Games in Stockholm. Gold has been only one president
Modern gold medals used in medicine has ever been inside
are mostly silver; those for millennia. The the vaults: Franklin
from the 2016 Games ancient Romans made Delano Roosevelt, the
in Rio contained only dental bridges out of it, same president who
1.2 percent gold. a practice they learned effectively took us off
from the Etruscans. For the gold standard in

3
the Nobel Prize much of the 20th cen- 1933. (The United
medal is still made tury, doctors reduced States didn’t fully aban-
of gold, though their rheumatoid ar- don it until 1971.)
it was downgraded thritis patients’ pain

8
in 1980, when it went and swelling with intra- Most of the
from 23 karats (24 is muscular injections of world’s gold is
pure) to an 18-karat gold compounds that now mined in
core coated in 23-karat have anti-inflammatory China. The country
gold. The gold in each properties. Today, some overtook South Africa
medal is worth about oncologists use gold for total historical gold
$8,000. compounds to shrink production in 2017. But
cancerous tumors. the world’s largest gold

4
A naturally crystal—an extremely

6
yellow element, The term bullion, rare geometric forma-
gold changes color which refers to tion that can appear
when it is mixed with gold bars or coins on gold specimens—
other metals, which ready to be traded, weighed 7.7 ounces
also gives it added comes from the Latin and was found decades
strength. White gold word for boil. That’s ago in Venezuela.
contains nickel or pal- how to remove gold’s

9
ladium. Rose gold gets impurities—at a mere Among the more
its hue from copper. 5,173 degrees F. surprising—and
There’s even green unpleasant—

7
gold, which has silver The U.S. Treasury sources of gold: treated
and sometimes zinc currently holds sewage. In 2015, after
or cadmium. To deter- 147.3 million analyzing sewer sludge
mine how much gold is ounces of gold bullion. from local treatment
in any piece, divide the About half of it is stored plants, researchers at
karat content by 24 and at Fort Knox, a stash Arizona State Univer-
multiply by 100. The that’s worth more than sity concluded that
resulting percentage is $130 billion. Security the sewage produced
the amount that is gold. at Fort Knox is so tight, each year in a city of

rd.com 29
Reader ’s Digest 13 Things

a million people from it. Space suits can be a disappointing

includes, on average, and spacecraft are find, it is often dis-
$2.6 million worth of coated in gold to reflect covered near sources
gold and silver. harmful infrared ra- of real gold, so a miner
diation from the sun. who stops digging

10
We have Any instrument NASA once he finds a piece
already ex- wants to keep cool gets of pyrite may be the
tracted about a gold coating as well real fool.
80 percent of the world’s (since radiation is also

244,000 mineable tons
of gold. Ocean waters
and seabeds contain
about 20 million more
tons, but this treasure
remains largely un-
touched because of
the prohibitive costs to
13
a great source of heat). Don’t go look-
This includes the James ing for a pot
Webb telescope, the of the precious
world’s most powerful metal at the end of a
space telescope, set rainbow. One version
to be launched later of this legend is more
this year. of a cautionary tale:
When a poor Irish hus-

tap it. But the biggest
trove is in outer space.
One asteroid alone
(called 16 Psyche) has a
few hundred quintillion
dollars’ worth.
12
Pyrite, the
mineral better
known as
fool’s gold, has fooled
many, including Chris-
topher Newport, one
of the founders of the
band and wife pull the
last carrot out of their
garden, they catch a
leprechaun dangling
from it. The leprechaun
agrees to grant all their
wishes if they find his

11
But so far, Jamestown colony, pot of gold at the end
we’ve only who sailed a shipload of the rainbow, leaving
brought gold to of it to London in the them to forever chase
space, not taken any 1600s. Although pyrite a fictitious fortune. RD

From the Island of Unfit Toys

In 1951, the A. C. Gilbert Company stopped selling its U-238 Atomic Energy
Lab to aspiring nuclear scientists. Why? The kits cost about $500 in today’s
money—and they used actual radioactive uranium ores. (Though to be fair, they
contained about as much radiation as a child would get from a day in the sun.)
More dangerous was Professor Wacko’s Exothermic Exuberance chemistry
kit. The chemicals in this one started a few house fires. In 1994, the
Consumer Product Safety Commission got them pulled from the shelves.

30 march 2021 | rd.com

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Reader ’s Digest

LAUGH LINES
Super unprofessional when
Imagine being a spy right ventriloquists argue with their
now, stuck at home trying puppets over which one is the
dummy. Figure that out backstage.
to convince your family —@ChrisStephensMD
you have a normal job.
—@_BillieBelieves

Now that my boyfriend is

working from home, I’ve asked
Virtual meetings are we liven things up by pretend-
basically modern séances. ing we’re having an office affair.
“Elizabeth, are you here?” —@FernBrady
“Is anyone else with you?”
“We can’t see you.
Can you hear us?”
—@McClellandShane

My boss just
called me into
his office and told
Please quit telling me
me I’ve been
to “keep up the good spending too
work.” The good work much time on
was an accident and Twitter. Hold on,
impossible to replicate. he’s saying some-
yagi studio/getty images

—@House_Feminist thing else now.

—@DanMentos

Work’s like
a Charm!
32 march 2021 | rd.com
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Reader ’s Digest

O
n a mild morning in November
1979, when a group of students
The
clambered over the walls of the
FOOD American Embassy in Tehran, I, the

ON YOUR
modest pistachio, might have been
the furthest thing from everyone’s

PLATE mind. As that day turned into an in-

famous hostage crisis, few were likely
focused on the fact that Iran was by
far the largest supplier of pistachios
to the United States. Or that the sanc-
tions imposed by President Carter,
which included a ban on importing
me, meant that you were going to
need a new source.
At just a nickel for a dozen of me,
I had plenty of American fans back
then. I started out as a popular snack
among Middle Eastern immigrants in
the late 1800s but eventually spread
to snackers of all ilk through bar,
bus, and train-station vending ma-
chines. You could spot them by their
red-tinged fingers, caused by the dye
Iranian producers used to cover the
imperfections on my shells (harm-
less splotches from the harvesting
methods). But only a miniscule crop
of me came from within U.S. borders,
specifically California’s Central Valley.
I Am Pistachios … There, in the 1930s, a botanist

An American named William E. Whitehouse, fresh

off a tour of Iran’s pistachio orchards,
floortje/getty images

Success Story had managed to get one seed from

one specific variety of tree—called
Kerman, after the Iranian city where
it grew—to barely take hold. Some
By Kate Lowenstein 40 years later, from just that one vari-
and Daniel Gritzer ety, from just that one seed weighing

34 march 2021
 all of a fortieth of an ounce, sprouted
all of America’s pistachios.
In California and around the
world, my trees may live for more
than 150 years, but they take a couple
of decades to reach full production.
The first U.S. commercial crop, of just
1.5 million pounds, landed in 1976.
But then, thanks to ample acreage
of appropriately arid farmland (and
also the necessary water supply),
California’s pistachios flourished. My
American version was a sweet, pris-
tine, high-quality nut that not only
replaced the gaping hole left in the
supply chain but also overtook global
demand. Chinese, Indian, and Euro-
pean shoppers increasingly sought
American pistachios to the point that
the current U.S. industry produces
about a billion pounds of me annu-
ally, more than any other country.
This 44-year boom in the wake of a
444-day hostage crisis amounts to
one of the most successful botanical
takeovers in American history.
As the seed of the tree’s fruit—
actually not a nut at all—I grow in
clusters like grapes, my hard shells
splitting open with an audible snap
when I’m ripe. By then, my hull has
turned from green to white and then
to a deep rosy pink, and the translu-
cent shell inside it to opaque.
My appeal as both snack and ingre-
pina bresciani
dient is my earthy-sweet flavor, fatty
richness, and crunch. I have the same
amount of protein as almonds but a
smidge less fat, and my protein and
PISTACHIO-AND-PARMESAN-
CRUSTED RACK OF LAMB
Preheat oven to 400°F. Combine 2⁄3 cup
finely chopped pistachios with 1⁄3 cup
panko bread crumbs and 1⁄3 cup grated
Parmesan. Melt 4 tablespoons unsalted
butter with 1 teaspoon fresh or dried
thyme leaves and 1 minced clove garlic
over medium heat until foamy. Combine
with pistachio mixture and stir until
dry ingredients are evenly moistened;
season with salt and pepper. Season four
4-bone frenched racks of lamb (about
3½ pounds total) with salt and pepper.
In a 12-inch cast-iron skillet, heat 1 table-
spoon vegetable oil over medium-high
heat until nearly smoking. Add lamb
racks and sear until browned, about
3 minutes each side. Transfer lamb to a
work surface and rub 1 teaspoon Dijon
mustard in an even layer on the fat side
of each rack. Sprinkle pistachio mixture
over the Dijon coating, then press to
form a compact crust. Return lamb
racks to skillet, crust side up, and roast
in the oven until a thermometer registers
130°F for medium-rare or 135°F for
medium, 20–25 minutes. Let lamb rest
5 minutes, then serve whole or carve
carefully into individual chops.
rd.com 35
Reader ’s Digest The Food on Your Plate

fiber—plus the fact that you have to
slow your roll and shell each gosh-
darn one of me before you eat it—
make me a favorite among dieters.
I was first cultivated in southwest-
ern Asia as early as 6000 BC. My sta-
tus as a luxury snack goes back almost
as far: The Queen of Sheba herself
is thought to have hoarded all of her
region’s harvest for her court. My rep-
utation as an aphrodisiac may have
helped my popularity and is not al-
together hearsay: My fats reduce cho-
lesterol and improve blood flow, and
very preliminary research suggests
I might have improved erections for
men who ate me regularly.
Thanks to the Silk Road trade, I
slowly made my way into the cook-
ing traditions of Italy and Spain and
other parts of Southern Europe, as
well as North Africa and China. By
now, I’m prized in many cuisines, of-
ten in desserts, though I show up in
savory dishes too. I star in Moroccan
tagines (often paired with chicken or
lamb and dried fruits such as apricots
or figs), Middle Eastern knafeh (a fra-
grant salty-sweet dessert made from
cheese and syrup-soaked shredded
phyllo), and honey-drenched baklava.
Of course, I’m also an ingredient in
snack mixes, cookies, cakes, and, yes,
everyone’s favorite green ice cream.
Though note that most pistachio ice
cream is flavored primarily with much
less expensive almond extract; the
specimens of me studded throughout
are cover for the ruse.
As for that other ruse, the rouge
ruse: These days in the United States,
Central Valley farmers have mastered
the art of whisking me off to be pro-
cessed as soon as I’ve ripened and
popped, leaving nary a splotch on my
shell—and making my fans’ red fin-
gertips a thing of my past. RD
Kate Lowenstein is a health journalist
and the editor-in-chief at Vice; Daniel
Gritzer is the culinary director of the
cooking site Serious Eats.

Bottle Service
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot
at tax collectors and miss.
robert heinlein, author

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than

all the books in the world.
louis pasteur, biologist

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

dorothy parker, humorist

36 march 2021 | rd.com

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 LIFE WELL LIVED

Rules for Being the

Age You Are
Whether you’re 20 or 120, the author’s surprise-filled
guide can help most anyone live happily ever

By Megan McArdle
from bloomberg.com

Illustrations by Goncalo Viana


I
f, like me, you have recently en-
tered that period of life known as
middle age, take heed: The building
years of your life are over, and what
you are now is pretty much what you
are going to be. Soon it will be what
you were. You can no longer tell your-
self that you might move to Lisbon,
learn Portuguese, and take up the gui-
tar. But you can follow a set of simple
rules to guide you the rest of the way.
Best of all, these rules work no matter
what your age and stage of life.
First and foremost, be kind. Mean is
easy; kind is hard. Once we reached
eighth grade, many of us got the idea
that the nasty put-down, the superior
smile, and the clever one-liner are the
signs of intelligence and great per-
sonal strength. But this kind of wit is,
to borrow from the writer John Scalzi,
“playing the game on easy mode.”
Making yourself feel bigger by mak-
ing someone else feel small takes so
little skill that 12-year-olds can do it.
Always order one extra dish—an
unfamiliar one—at a restaurant. You
might like it, which would be splen-
did. If you don’t like it, all you lost was
a couple of bucks. If you can’t afford
to order that one extra dish, then the
restaurant is too expensive for your
budget anyway and you should find
a cheaper one.
Give yourself permission to be bad.
You know what you’re really good
at? Things you’ve done many times
before. Mastery is boredom. Unfortu-
nately, we enjoy feeling like masters;
Reader ’s Digest
we hate feeling like idiots. So we keep
ourselves bored in order to protect
ourselves from feeling stupid. This is
a bad trade (and not the sort of bad
I’m talking about).
Go to the party even when you don’t
want to. Nine times out of ten, you’ll
be bored and go home early. But the
tenth time, you will have a worthy ex-
perience or meet an interesting per-
son. It will more than redeem those
other wasted hours.
Don’t just pay people compliments;
give them living eulogies. Tell them
exactly how fantastic they are, in how
many ways. Embarrass them. Here’s
a funny thing I’ve learned: No matter
how many times you hear them, the
words “You are amazing, and here’s
why” never go out of style.
That thing you kinda want to do
someday? Do it now. I mean, literally,
pause reading this column, pick up
the phone, and book that skydiving
session. RIGHT NOW. I’ll wait. Don’t
put it off until you have the time to
really relax and enjoy it. That will be
approximately three decades from
now, and it’s highly possible you
won’t be able to enjoy it. I will never
forgive myself for passing up a chance
to go to trapeze school in my late 20s.
I figured I could always do it later,
little knowing that in my early 30s my
lower back would decide to take up
amateur dramatics. At least some-
body got to perform.
Tone down the cynicism. At some
point in life, we get the idea that
rd.com | march 2021 39
Reader ’s Digest

to convince your spouse that potato

believing in things—art, politics—
makes you a sucker and that “being
real” means accepting how rotten to
the core everything is. True, there is a
lot of rottenness in the world. But cyn-
icism is radically incomplete. In fact,
human beings are often splendid, the
world is often glorious, and nature, red
in tooth and claw, also invented kind-
ness, charity, and love. Believe in that.
Don’t try to resolve fundamental
conflicts with loved ones. The only
people who win marital arguments
about bedrock values are divorce
lawyers. I mean, you wouldn’t say, “I
have a free hour; I bet I could solve
the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and
still have time for a spot of tennis!” So
why do you try to use the same hour
salad should have pickles in it? Unless
it is an existential threat to your fu-
ture (out-of-control spending, wants/
doesn’t want kids, abuse), leave it
alone. On your deathbed, your spouse
and friends will be there, holding your
hand. The dream house you’re dying
to buy will not be.
Be grateful. No matter how awful
your life seems at the moment, you
have something to be grateful for: You
have been granted 2 billion seconds
on this planet, give or take. You are a
billionaire! Many billionaires, how-
ever, squander most of their fortunes
on bitter recriminations about how un-
fair everything is. You won’t get a re-
fund from the universe for the time you
spent brooding about the unfairness.
You lose those seconds just as surely
as you lose a second spent experienc-
ing joy, only they don’t even give you
something nice to remember them by.
Always make more dinner rolls than
you think you can eat. For some rea-
son, dinner rolls loom much larger
in our imaginations than in our
stomachs. RD
bloomberg.com (january 30, 2018), copyright
© 2018 by bloomberg lp. all rights reserved.
used under license.

Cat’s Out of the Bag

My e-mail password has been hacked. That’s the third time
I’ve had to rename my cat.
@d_joyt

40 march 2021 | rd.com

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Reader ’s Digest

“Any time I’ve ever been asked ‘What do you want, a medal?’ I’ve said yes.”

cleanup duty. As he for only one bullet

came to attention, per person.
Humor in
some water acciden- As I handed the
UNIFORM tally spilled onto her
shoes. She let the sol-
single bullet to the
machine gunner, he
dier wallow in fear nonchalantly held
before asking, “Did the cartridge aloft
Our platoon officer you really think I and asked, “Do
joe dator/cartooncollections.com

was a tough-talking would melt?” they want me to fire

woman who barked —Michael Barry this all at once?”
orders right and left. Leawood, Kansas —Charles Petty
We referred to her as Burke, Virginia
the Witch behind her As a young trainee,
back—or we thought it I was ordered to hand
was behind her back. out the .30-caliber Your funny military
One day, she en- ammunition to the story could be worth
countered a private other guys. One catch: $$$. For details, go to
with a bucket on There was enough rd.com/submit.

42 march 2021 | rd.com

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Limited. CAM-MK-PR-512 ISS1 NOV20
 Binge Drinking
May Raise
Dementia Risk
Overindulge in alcohol
and you’ll pay the price
the next morning. Do
it repeatedly, and the
price might be a lot
steeper. A paper
News From the published in JAMA

WORLD OF Network Open looked

at people’s drinking

MEDICINE habits and the effects

over a period of 12 to
30 years. Those who
sometimes drank
SLEEP BETTER UNDER enough to lose con-
sciousness were
A WEIGHTED BLANKET roughly twice as likely
to eventually develop
Most people want to treat their insomnia dementia. This held
without drugs—for good reason, since sleep- true regardless of how
ing pills can lead to dependency and cause much they usually
dizziness and falls. A Swedish trial recently drank overall. So even
if you’re a moderate
tested another option: weighted blankets. drinker (someone who
Available from retailers that sell bedding, consumes 14 or fewer
these blankets supplement the usual filling alcohol units per week;
materials with pellets, chains, or beads. a can of beer or a
standard glass of wine
The added weight creates a grounding effect contains around two
that brings the body comfort and calm. units), you should still
Compared with study subjects who went to be careful not to drink
bed with a light cover, those given a blanket too much at once.
adam voorhes

that weighed about 15 pounds saw more

improvement in both sleep and mental
health issues such as depression and anxiety.

44 march 2021
 Reader ’s Digest

FOR YOUR Do Blood

HEALTH, Pressure Meds
Raise Cancer Risk?
PICK UP An Answer at Last
THE PHONE
Scientists have long
Ever since e-mailing discussed the possibil-
and texting came along, ity that hypertension
many of us have relied drugs might affect
Don’t Hit the on them to stay in cancer risk. Over
Road After Hitting touch, in part because several decades of
Your Head we think a call might be research, the evidence
more intrusive. How- has been inconsistent:
Even if you feel that ever, when subjects Some studies suggested
you’ve recovered from in a Texas study were they increase the can-
a concussion, its effects randomly assigned to cer rate, while others
could impair driving, reconnect with an old indicated they lower it
according to a study friend by either e-mail or don’t change it at all.
published in the or a phone call, calling After a number of news
Journal of Sport and gave them a stronger stories focused only
Health Science. When feeling of being on the former, some
researchers put con- bonded—without the patients were hesitant
FROM TOP: ASLAN ALPHAN/GETTY IMAGES. SHAPECHARGE/GETTY IMAGES

cussed patients in additional awkwardness to take their meds. But

simulated scenarios— many had expected. now, the largest analy-
seeing a child running Feeling connected to sis to date should put
in front of a car, for others is essential for minds at ease. Based
example—their re- health and well-being, on 31 trials involving a
action times were so when it comes total of 260,000 people
slower than normal, to long-distance or around the world, the
even after their symp- socially distanced review concluded that
toms had cleared up. relationships, we no blood pressure
The research is too new should limit text-based drugs raise the risk of
to say exactly how long, communication and cancer. Meanwhile,
but it’s best to wait a choose calls there is good evidence
bit after your symp- or video that these medications
toms subside before chats more help prevent heart at-
you get behind often. tacks and strokes in
the wheel. people with high blood
pressure.

rd.com 45
Reader ’s Digest News from the World of Medicine

EATING WELL IMPROVES Dancing Helps

Seniors Stay
HEALTH EVEN WITHOUT on Their Feet
WEIGHT LOSS Worldwide, almost a
third of people over
People living with obesity don’t need reminding that, 65 take a tumble each
as a group, they have a higher risk of life-threatening year. Dance activities
health issues. It’s not that they don’t realize this; it’s such as tango, folk
that shedding extra pounds and keeping them off dancing, or swing re-
is far easier said than done. A study from Sweden’s duce this risk by around
Uppsala University explored what might be a more 37 percent, according
feasible way of reducing risks: adopting healthy eat- to a new review. This is
ing habits (not to be confused with dieting, which is likely because dancing
solely focused on losing weight and may not include improves balance,
meals with a balanced array of nutritious foods). mobility, and lower-
When the study began, its 79,003 participants had body strength.
an average age of 61. To estimate the “healthiness”
of each person’s usual eating habits, researchers as- Stressed? A Pet
sessed how closely daily meals resembled the tra- Video Can Help
ditional Mediterranean diet, which relies on fruits,
vegetables, legumes, nuts, unrefined or high-fiber It turns out that watch-
grains, fish, and olive oil. ing cat videos on the
During 21 years of follow-up, people who ate Internet may actually
healthily but remained obese were no more likely to do some good. We al-
die than the healthy eaters whose ready know that hang-
weight was lower, though they ing out with pets in real
still had a slightly elevated life can relieve stress,
risk of dying specifically but now a British trial
from heart-related causes. suggests that watching
Meanwhile, people who adorable animals on
weren’t obese but didn’t a screen can trigger
tend to eat well had an a similar effect on your
FLOORTJE/GETTY IMAGES

above-average risk of blood pressure. The

death. The take away: next time you’re feeling
While body weight is a bit anxious, spending
one factor in health some time with cute
and life expectancy, it is far critters online might
from the be-all and end-all. help. RD
There’s plenty you’d rather
be doing than thinking about
your prescriptions.
With convenient refill and pickup options, expert pharmacists who
know you and your medications, and Medicare copays as low as $0,*
Walgreens makes it easy, and affordable, to get back to the things
you love to do for yourself. (And your selfies.)
Visit Walgreens.com/medicare

*$0 copays apply to Tier 1 generic drugs in select plans where Walgreens is a Preferred Pharmacy
 All
in a Day’s

WORK

“Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

Thanks to working from to a “let’s circle back” six feet between you
home together, some guy—who knew? and others. That’s two
couples have learned —@InLaurasWords Great Danes, four cats,
quite a bit about each ✦ I’m married to the or 16 hamsters.”
other: guy who calls everyone —Peggy Holt
✦ Hearing my wife “Chief.” Salinas, California
in meetings and it —@MarianCutler
dawns on me that she A coworker at our
uses personnel man- Our local pet store’s auto auction was hav-
agement techniques pandemic rules were ing trouble starting
on me all the time. laid out on a sign that one of the cars. Look-
—@RemoteClancy read, “Please maintain ing defeated, he
✦ A funny thing about
quarantining is hear-
Your salary is just your company’s
ing your partner in full
work mode for the first monthly subscription of you.
time. Like, I’m married —@twotweetsnotice

48 march 2021 Cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson

 Reader ’s Digest

complained, “The only Client: Hi, how much pages, and how many—
thing that’s working does a brochure cost Client: Well, if you
is the blinker on the to print? want to be that diffi-
check-engine light.” Me: Before I answer, cult, I’ll just find some-
—Dennis Marquardt I need a bit more infor- one else.
Elmore, Ohio mation, such as size, —clientsfromhell.net

I wrote “William Shake-

speare (1564–1616)” DEAR DUMB CRIMINALS: THANK YOU FOR
on the whiteboard, MAKING OUR JOB EASY! SIGNED, THE COPS
and a sixth grader
asked, “Is that Shake-
speare’s real phone
number?”
—weareteachers.com

While celebrating an
auspicious milestone,
our university medical
school ordered 2,000
pens with the inscrip-
tion “Faculty of Medi-
cine” to hand out to
guests. When the pens
arrived, all 2,000 had
this inauspicious
message: “Faulty of
Medicine.”
—ROBERT HALSTEAD
Winnipeg, Canada
lionvision/getty images

Anything funny
happen to you at work?
It could be worth $$$.
For details, go to
rd.com/submit.

rd.com 49
Reader ’s Digest
EVERYDAY MIRACLES
A Teacher’s Lifesaving Call
By Emma Taubenfeld
I
n the midst of the COVID-19 pan-
demic, Julia Koch began what was
only her second year as a first
grade teacher in a virtual classroom
at Edgewood Elementary School in
Muskegon Heights, Michigan. One
September after noon a few weeks
into the school year, she received a
call from Cynthia Phillips, who was
having technical difficulties with
her granddaughter’s tools for online
learning.
50 march 2021
Koch immediately knew something
was wrong with Phillips. The two
women had spoken numerous times
before, but Koch had never heard the
grandmother sound quite like this.
Her words were so jumbled that Koch
could barely understand her, though
she was able to make out that Phillips
had fallen four times that day. Koch
called her principal, Charlie Lovelady,
who assured her that he would call
and check on Phillips himself.
Illustration by Gel Jamlang
 Just like Koch, Lovelady could
barely understand Phillips. He sus-
pected she might be having a stroke—
he recognized the signs from when his
own father had suffered one. Lovelady
was able to make out the word kids
and immediately became concerned
that Phillips’s two grand children,
ages six and eight, were probably
home alone with her—she is their
primary guardian—and scared. Love-
lady asked his office manager to send
an ambulance to the grandmother’s
home. Then Lovelady called Vandie-
bilt Mathews and Keytria Burt-Walker,
two deans in the school district, to tell
them what was going on. Both of them
dropped everything and drove to the
family’s home.
When they pulled up less than ten
minutes later, the EMT s were treat-
ing Phillips while the two girls, look-
ing visibly shaken, were outside with
a neighbor. The quick response from
Koch and Lovelady saved Phillips’s
life. She arrived at the hospital in time
to get treatment and before chronic
damage occurred.
“If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be
here,” said Phillips from her hospital
bed about a month after her stroke.
Thanks to an extended stay in the
hospital, she has regained most of
the movement throughout her body
except for one hand and a portion of
her mouth, which affects her speech.
“I’m proud of the people I work with,
that they responded so quickly and
that it did make a difference for Mrs.
Phillips,” says Koch. “I am so pleased
to be part of such a caring community.”
But the school’s crisis response is
only one piece of the community’s
extraordinary efforts to help Phillips
and her granddaughters. Another
family with young children took in
the two girls. When that became too
much to handle during the day with
at-home learning, school adminis-
trators contacted the local Boys and
Girls Club, where the girls now spend
their days as part of a program to help
working parents. They return to the
host family at night.
“IF IT WASN’T FOR
THEM,” SAID PHILLIPS,
“I WOULDN’T BE HERE.”
Virtual learning has been a chal-
lenge across the country, but it’s fair
to say that in Muskegon Heights it has
helped the community grow closer.
Many teachers there gave their per-
sonal phone numbers to students
and families in case they needed extra
help. In this case, the exchange was
literally life-altering.
“The outpouring has been very
humbling,” Koch says about the recog-
nition the school staff has received for
their efforts. “But I also know that it’s
part of the kind of community we’re
in. We care about each other, and we
don’t just say the words. We follow
through.” RD
rd.com 51
 COVER STORY

Does This

DOG Know Whether

You Have
CANCER?
The canine nose is a marvel of nature. Science believes
that a computerized model will save millions of lives.

By Adam Piore

Photographs by Jason Varney rd.com | march 2021 53

Reader ’s Digest Cover Story
Osa, an athletic 62-pound
German shepherd with a long fluffy
tail and a fondness for red bandannas,
seems an unlikely superhero.
She chews on the couch when she’s
bored and isn’t above making a scene
to get attention. On a recent day when
her foster mother and trainer Anne-
marie DeAngelo stepped outside their
New Jersey home while chatting with
a visitor, Osa bounded up and barked
for attention; when that failed, she
leaped onto the patio table, stuck her
snout in DeAngelo’s face, and began
whining.
“You are unbelievable,” DeAngelo
growled before cracking a smile.
But if Osa wants to play the diva,
she’s entitled. After all, how many six-
year-old pooches do you know who
have mastered the art of sniffing out
cancerous tumors and are involved in
a research project that has the poten-
tial to revolutionize oncology?
Despite the remarkable success of
immunotherapy, CRISPR gene edit-
ing, and other recent breakthrough
treatments, oncologists’ inability to
54 march 2021 | rd.com
detect some cancers in their early
stages remains one of the field’s most
intractable—and fatal—shortcomings.
One disheartening case in point: of the
estimated 21,750 women in the United
States expected to be diagnosed this
year with ovarian cancer, a disease
that is treatable when found early, al-
most 14,000 are likely to die from it.
Osa might soon help improve those
odds. She is part of an ambitious ef-
fort launched five years ago at the
University of Pennsylvania that aims
to reverse engineer one of the most
powerful scent detection machines
ever discovered—the canine nose.
hair+makeup: elizabeth jacobs
Osa is able to distinguish between
blood samples taken from cancer pa-
tients and their healthy peers simply
by sniffing them. In fact, she’s one of
eight cancer-detection dogs trained
by DeAngelo and her colleagues at the
Penn Vet Working Dog Center, a non-
profit X-Men academy of sorts that
Annemarie
DeAngelo
with her star
pupil, Osa
Reader ’s Digest

For Osa, here with

DeAngelo and
Cynthia Otto,
cancer research
is not all work.

breeds and trains “detection dogs.”

The ultimate goal is to develop an
“electronic sniffer” that can approxi-
mate the cancer-sniffing superpowers
of Osa and her pals. Such a machine
could then be deployed to thousands
of doctors’ offices and medical diag-
nostic facilities around the nation.
And cancer is only one possible
target. This type of system could lead
to similar devices for different health
issues, such as bacterial infections,
diabetes, and epilepsy. Some dog
trainers have even begun setting their
sights on COVID-19. “It’s basically the
exact same approach,” says Cynthia
Otto, the founding director of the
center.

It all starts with that wondrous inven-

tion of nature: the canine nose. Our
own schnoz doesn’t even come close.
The average human is equipped with
five million olfactory receptors, tiny
proteins capable of detecting indi-
vidual odor molecules. These recep-
tors are clustered in a small area in
the back of the human nasal cavity,
meaning a scent must waft in and
up the nostrils. In dogs, the internal
surface area devoted to smell extends
from the nostrils to the back of the
throat and comprises an estimated

56 march 2021
 Cover Story

300 million olfactory receptors,

60 times more than humans.
Dogs also devote considerably
more neural real estate to processing
and interpreting these signals than
humans do. Compared with a paltry
5 percent for humans, 35 percent of a
dog’s brain is dedicated to smelling.
Add it all up, and the dog nose is up
to a million times more sensitive than
the human nose.
“Sniffing is how dogs see the world,”
explains Marc Bekoff, professor emer-
itus of ecology and evolutionary biol-
ogy at the University of Colorado,

A DOG’S NOSE IS UP
TO A MILLION TIMES
MORE SENSITIVE
THAN A HUMAN NOSE.

Boulder. “That’s how they pick up in-

formation about who has been there,
are they happy, are they sad, is the fe-
male in heat, are they feeling well or
not. Their nose leads the way—dogs
sniff first and ask questions later.”
daniel peterschmidt/science friday

Humans have always appreciated

the potential of the canine snout. In
the Middle Ages, authorities in France
and Scotland relied on dogs and
their sniffing abilities to hunt down
outlaws. Search-and-rescue dogs
emerged in the 18th century when
the monks of the Great St. Bernard
Hospice in the Swiss Alps discovered
that the canines they’d been breeding

rd.com 57
 DeAngelo and
Otto were
moved to tears
when the dogs
learned to
detect traces
of ovarian
cancer on the
scent wheel.

could lead them to avalanche victims tasked with reviewing every case of
buried beneath the snow. melanoma seen at the hospital over
courtesy penn vet working

Despite this history, science hadn’t
considered whether dogs could de-
tect cancer until the late 1980s, after
30-year-old medical resident Hywel
Williams stumbled on scientific gold.
the previous 20 years. It was an eye-
glazing assignment, recalls Williams.
But one after noon, he came across
a four-word notation in a file that
caught his attention. It read simply:
dog center

Upon arriving at King’s College “Dog sniffed at lesion.” What did that
Hospital in London to begin his train- mean? Was it possible the dog in the
ing as a dermatologist, Williams was file actually smelled cancer?

58 march 2021

“So I rang the lady in the file up,”
Williams recalls. “And we had the
most fascinating conversation!”
The patient, a 44-year-old woman,
told Williams that her border collie-
Doberman mix named Baby Boo had
become fixated on a curious mole on
the woman’s left thigh, sniffing it of-
ten. The ritual continued every day
for several months, with Baby Boo
Cover Story Reader ’s Digest
nuzzling the woman’s leg through
her trousers. Baby Boo finally tried
to bite the lesion off, at which point
the woman visited her doctor. When
doctors excised the mole, they found
it was malignant melanoma.
“Something about that lesion fasci-
nated the dog,” Williams recalls. “And
it literally saved this woman’s life.”
Williams and a colleague published
rd.com 59
Reader ’s Digest
their findings in the Lancet, a well-
respected medical journal. Suddenly,
dog lovers around the world were
reaching out to Williams and shar-
ing similar experiences. There was
the 66-year-old man who developed
a patch of eczema on the outer side
of his left thigh—a lesion that became
the obsession of his Labrador re-
triever until he went to the doctor. It
was found to be basal cell carcinoma.
There was George the schnauzer,
trained by a Florida dermatologist.
George “went crazy” when he sniffed
out a suspicious mole on the leg of a
patient. It turned out to be malignant.
Over the years since, a growing
body of evidence has emerged sug-
gesting that dogs can sniff out blad-
der cancer, prostate cancer, diabetes,
and even malaria, among other con-
ditions. But not just any Chihuahua,
corgi, or beagle can do the job.
Like most of the dogs, Osa arrived at
the Penn Vet Working Dog Center
from a breeder at two months of age.
“We look at their genetics,” says De-
Angelo. “We look at their work abil-
ity. They have to come from working
lines, not show or pet lines, but one
that has that hunt/prey drive.” Osa
began taking obedience and agility
training (walking a plank, climbing a
ladder, gliding over a rubble pile) and
quickly advanced to basic odor detec-
tion skill training.
During these sessions, the dogs are
introduced to a universal detector
60 march 2021
calibrant, a potent, distinct odor de-
veloped by a veterinary scientist to
train dogs. The trainer places the
calibrant—a powder contained within
a Mylar bag with a tiny hole to let the
odor out—on the floor or on a wall or
holds it in hand. As soon as the dog
sniffs at the odor to investigate it, the
trainer “marks” the smell by making a
noise with a clicker or simply saying
yes, and then rewards the dog with a
treat. This process is repeated until
the dog learns that when it finds this
odor, it gets rewarded.
Next, the trainer begins offering the
dog choices—for instance, placing two
distinct odors in identical containers,
only one of which produces a click and
a treat when sniffed. Once that is mas-
tered, the trainer begins withholding
the treat until the dog freezes in front
of the container of choice and stares.
As the dogs undergo this founda-
tional training, the trainers evaluate
their skill sets and temperaments and
use the data to choose a particular
area of specialization. Dogs that dem-
onstrate a passion for running on rub-
ble enter search-and-rescue training.
Those that don’t enjoy rubble but have
strong noses might become narcotics
or bomb dogs. Dogs who think that
lightly “biting people is a fun game,”
DeAngelo jokes, end up as police dogs.
Penn’s medical-detection dogs are
the ones with quirky personalities
and narrow focuses. Otto calls them
the center’s “sensitive souls.” They
dislike noisy, crowded environments,

It’s a family affair! DeAngelo’s dogs, Grizzly (left) and Prior, also work at the center.
such as airports or disaster recovery
sites. Osa is very suspicious of people
she doesn’t know—so much so that
nobody is allowed to approach De-
Angelo’s house unannounced (to do
so results in loud barking and pande-
monium). Upon entering the home,
visitor, host, and dog must all proceed
immediately outside to play ball to set
Osa at ease before any business can
be conducted. But with these neurotic
traits also comes an uncommon focus.
“I often refer to our medical-
detection dogs as the CPAs,” Otto says.
“They would love to just look at the
spreadsheets and find the one number
Cover Story
that’s out of place. They really like hav-
ing things very neat and controlled.
They’re the detail dogs.”
While Osa had all the qualities that
make up a great sniffer dog, that didn’t
guarantee that she’d be able to mas-
ter the most essential task of all. To
find out if she could, DeAngelo and
her team put Osa in front of a scent
wheel, a stationary metal contraption
with multiple arms, each one of which
is large enough to hold two separate
containers—one containing plasma
from a woman with metastatic ovarian
cancer and the other plasma from a
healthy volunteer. When Osa stopped
rd.com 61
Reader ’s Digest
Training a dog
like Osa to sniff
out cancer can
take a year to
18 months.
in front of the correct sample, pointed
her nose at it, and froze, DeAngelo and
her colleagues hugged and cried.
“You don’t know if it’s going to
work, so you train it, and you train it,”
she says. “You’re actually now going
to put the real cancer in the wheel,
in the plasma, and see if the dogs
can identify it and ignore the other
samples. And it worked! The very first
time! It was very emotional.”
And yet that’s only half the chal-
lenge. To transform Osa’s remarkable
abilities into something replicable—
an electronic nose—researchers have
to figure out what it is precisely that
62 march 2021
Osa and her friends are reacting to.
DeAngelo says the blood samples she
has trained her dogs with contain hun-
dreds of different organic compounds,
any one of which could be capturing
the dog’s attention. And that is why
daniel peterschmidt/science friday
the Penn team includes not just the
physicists and engineers designing
the instrumentation for their elec-
tronic nose but also chemists to help
figure out what exactly that electronic
nose needs to be calibrated to smell.
The group has been breaking the can-
cer samples down into progressively
smaller constituent parts and present-
ing them to the dogs to winnow down

which of the hundreds of potential aro-
matic chemical compounds (odorants)
grab their attention.
A similar approach is used to train
the device. The engineers start with
two separate samples consisting of
many odorants mixed together and
make sure the machine can distinguish
between the two. Then they remove in-
dividual odorants from each sample,
training the machine to distinguish
increasingly subtle differences that
MEDICAL-DETECTION
DOGS ARE THE
ONES WITH QUIRKY
PERSONALITIES.
are more and more difficult to detect.
The goal is to eventually place a vial of
plasma inside a microwave-sized elec-
tronic sniffer that can analyze its odor-
ants and provide a reading of healthy,
benign, or malignant within minutes.
Another version might handle up to
ten samples at a time.
While most people would likely
prefer to have what ails them sniffed
out by a sympathetic (if wet) nose
rather than a cold machine, that’s
not in the cards, according to Bruce
Kimball, a chemist at the Monell
Chemical Senses Center in Philadel-
phia. “The sheer numbers of dogs
and handlers that would have to be
deployed” to the various hospitals,
labs, and medical facilities around
Cover Story
the country “is not practical,” he says.
An electronic nose prototype has
been built, and it’s successful in sniff-
ing out cancer 90 to 95 percent of the
time. As impressive as that sounds, re-
searchers say there’s still more work to
be done. Right now, they have a good
idea of what compounds or chemicals
create the odor, but the team wants
more specificity. One objective is to be
able to distinguish between early- and
late-stage cancer. “It would be incred-
ible to identify people at an early stage
and really have an impact on saving
lives,” says Otto. “The dogs have been
able to detect that.” With that ability,
a blood test could be sent to a central
lab—or, ideally, performed in a doc-
tor’s office—and rolled in as part of
one’s annual checkup, making some
hidden cancers a thing of the past.
If it all works as DeAngelo and Otto
hope—and Otto is confident that a
working device is “on the horizon”—
it will be one of the most important
victories in the war against cancer yet.
Of course, neither Osa nor any of her
furry friends have much idea what the
fuss is all about.
“To them, it’s just a game,” says
DeAngelo. “Osa just knows that, I was
trained and when I find this odor and
I indicate on it, then I get rewarded.”
Osa prefers that reward to be a piece
of cheese. It’s a small price to pay. Af-
ter all, Osa’s nose is potentially revo-
lutionizing how and when we detect
countless types of cancer and saving
thousands of lives along the way. RD
rd.com 63
Reader ’s Digest

64 march 2021
clockwise from top left: courtesy mary potter kenyon. courtesy susan liss. courtesy giovanni paz villa. courtesy jana fisher
THE STRANGER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE

MY MOST

Unlikely
Friend
Would you pal around with your spouse’s ex?
Or buddy up to someone who put
a foot in your face? These readers did—
and found lifelong companions.

would always decline the offer, but he

I met my best friend, Bill Cervenka, at
work. I was 23, and he was 85, but it
seemed I had more in common with
him than with any friends my age.
We were both really stubborn. He al-
ways had an umbrella, and whenever
it was raining after work, he used to
say, “Let me walk you to your car.” I
would say, “I’m walking you to your
car whether you like it or not.”
Bill and I always took the same
lunch break. He didn’t recognize
many of my Mexican dishes and of-
ten asked what I was eating. I always
offered him a taste, along with some
of my Oreos. Eventually it became our

illustrations by Istvan Banyai rd.com 65

Reader ’s Digest
tradition that every time a new limited
edition Oreo flavor was released, we
waited to try it together.
Bill passed away in April 2019. I
miss him every day. Now I always
carry my umbrella and make sure
people without one don’t get wet.
And when someone declines my offer,
I say, “I’m walking you whether you
like it or not.”
—Giovanni Paz Villa
Plainfield, Illinois
Tina is my best friend. She is also
my husband’s ex-wife. When we first
met, she and Bob had been divorced
for more than 12 years, and he and
I had been dating only a short time.
We didn’t become close friends right
away. It took years of getting to know
each other and seeing each other for
66 march 2021
who we truly are. We’ve stood to-
gether through difficult times and
family hardships. We’ve shared won-
derful holiday celebrations, and we
were together to see the birth of our
first grandson. Even though we now
live 1,500 miles apart, Bob and I still
vacation with her and her husband,
and Saturday is our “phone call” day.
She has brought so much joy and love
into my life. I don’t know what I’d do
without my best friend.
—Jana Fisher
Port Charlotte, Florida
Bill Greenhaw was a retired school
principal who looked rather stern. He
was an organist and highly respected
in our church. I wore leather jackets
and rode a motorcycle. One day, I jok-
ingly asked him if he would like to go
out to lunch with me on my bike. To
my surprise, he accepted!
He was the opposite of me in so
many ways, but he enjoyed riding
with me on my bike. We took many
rides together, but he never told any-
one about them. I think it brought
out a sense of adventure in him, and
I was the only person he felt comfort-
able sharing that side of himself with.
He was shy around most people. At
courtesy bobby mills
his funeral, I told his family about
our rides, and they were astonished.
I miss his kind and gentle character,
and our rides together.
—Bobby Mills
Macon, Georgia

It was my husband, David, who urged
me to read a book by Cecil Murphey
and to apply for a scholarship he was
offering for a writing conference in
2012. By the time I learned I had won
it, my husband had unexpectedly
died. I wanted to meet the man who
was responsible for my scholarship, so
courtesy sue wallace
I attended a conference where he was
speaking. When I heard a few months
later that his wife had died, I began
writing him letters. I may have been
nearly 30 years younger than he was,
but this was one path I had walked
The Stranger Who Changed My Life
before him. I sent him portions of my
book in progress, and he ended up
writing a foreword for that book.
I write him a long letter at least once
a month. I ask for his advice on writ-
ing, life, faith, even dating. He answers
by e-mail, never failing to say exactly
what I need to hear. I’ve saved all of
his e-mails, more than 125 of them. I
can honestly say that an 87-year-old
man is one of my best friends.
—Mary Potter Kenyon
Dubuque, Iowa
We are the same age. And we both like
to sing. That’s where the similarities
stop. The differences go on and on.
We met more than 20 years ago
in our local church choir. Karen is a
lovely, quiet woman who would never
think of using makeup. And then
there’s me. I put makeup on to take
out the garbage, and I don’t have an
inside voice.
So, why are we friends? Because we
share our ethics, our faith, and our mu-
sic. We love each other for being our-
selves and for being good people with
good hearts. When we meet for break-
fast, I show up in my brightly colored
top, and she comes in with her hair tied
back and her thrift store jeans. I sit and
sip my coffee with flavored creamer
while she enjoys her glass of plain wa-
ter, and we talk for hours. We just work.
She is one of my favorite people.
—Sue Wallace
Chesterfield, Missouri
rd.com 67
Reader ’s Digest
I met Connie in 1976, when we were
both competing in a tae kwon do
tournament. Both red belts, we had
been paired to compete against each
other. As we sat next to each other
waiting for our match, Connie began
to talk to me. She was friendly and
had a wonderful smile. I was struck
by how nice she was. Then we got up
to compete. Connie suddenly put on
the fiercest face you can imagine. This
terrified me. Out of self-preservation,
I proceeded to kick her in the head—
twice—and won the match.
68 march 2021
Despite this, Connie and I became
close friends. And despite our many
differences, we have remained friends
throughout the last 43 years. Connie
is Black and I am White. She was
raised in a big city and I was brought
up in a small town. Connie is a liberal
Democrat and I am a conservative
Republican.
Connie now lives on the East Coast
and I live in northern Wisconsin, but
we keep in touch through social me-
dia. One of her favorite things to do is
to introduce me as her bestie who put
a foot in her face.
—Susan Liss
Summit Lake, Wisconsin
The year was 1981. I was working as
the coordinator of Know America,
an educational experience for adults
in Washington, DC. Bernice was the
coordinator of a group of about 40 of
her fellow North Dakotans who were
attending a weeklong Know America
program in October.
On the last day of the week, I saw
Bernice picking up the huge syca-
more leaves falling from the trees that
lined the center’s driveway. Sycamore
leaves are not great fall leaves—they
tend to just turn brown and fall down.
“We don’t have a lot of trees in North
courtesy ron drum
Dakota. At least, none like these!” she
explained as she chose another speci-
men for her scrapbook.
As soon as I could, I went out and
found some far better fall leaves
 The Stranger Who Changed My Life

for Bernice—red and orange maple

leaves, yellow aspen, orange-red
sassafras—and I included them in the
envelope along with my thank-you let-
ter to her for attending the program.
That’s how I came to learn the
truth: Bernice wanted those particu-
lar leaves for their size, not their color.
Bernice told me that she had never
seen leaves so large and that was why
she was picking them up.
It made for a great joke, and
we laughed about it all year as we
planned her next group’s Know Amer-
ica experience. We quickly became
close friends, and we’ve remained
close friends ever since. I still remember Wayne’s voice on the
Last year, I sent leaf stickers to phone telling me, “Suzanne, your
Bernice for her birthday. In return, horses are in the garden again and
she sent me a copy of the book Last of Dolly [his wife] and Hazel [his mother]
the Breed by her favorite author, Louis are mad!” Wayne kept me company
L’Amour. Inside, she had placed a leaf while I got the troublemakers out of
sticker on every sentence in the book the garden.
that mentioned leaf or leaves, 34 stick- Wayne was 85 when I introduced
ers in total. him to my husband. Now my husband
—Ron Drum and I see him every time we travel
Drums, Pennsylvania home. We have a standing birthday
breakfast date every year. In 2020,
Wayne turned 100.
In 1977, I was a ten-year-old tomboy —Suzanne Ryan
growing up in rural upstate New York. Cummington, Massachusetts
courtesy suzanne ryan

Cream of the Crops

Here’s the problem with fruit: It’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious;
some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great; sometimes they
are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.
@punished_picnic

rd.com 69
Reader ’s Digest

70 march 2021
 HOME & LIFE

10
MINUTE
LIFE
FIXES

Need extra cash? Want to get

in shape? Looking to cook or clean better—or
feel happier? These 37 tweaks take just a few
seconds or minutes and can lead to big changes.

By Caroline Fanning

Illustrations by Andrea De Santis rd.com 71

 1. Defrost Frozen Meat
Research published by the USDA in-
dicates that your frozen strip steak
might benefit from a nice hot bath.
The study found that one-inch cuts
of meat can be thawed in ten minutes
without reducing quality. The trick:
Use 102-degree water, seal the meat
in plastic, and submerge it in a large
pot, stirring occasionally to prevent a
cold zone from developing and insu-
lating the meat from the warm water.
Researchers also found that water-
thawing may lead to better-tasting
steaks, as they leaked less juice than
air-thawed ones.
2. Speed-Listen to a Podcast
So many podcasts, so little time. For-
tunately, most podcast apps have op-
tions to speed up the audio without
distorting the pitch or quality beyond
recognition. The 1.8x speed is a good
place to start—it would allow you to
get through a 30-minute podcast in
less than 17 minutes. You can also use
the app Overcast, which has a Smart
Speed setting that automatically
compresses podcasts by cutting out
pauses and silences. This approach is
better for purely informational pod-
casts than for those with Seinfeld-like,
pause-heavy humor.
72 march 2021
3. Get an Instant Favor
When you ask someone a small favor,
they’re far more likely to do it if you
add the word because. Psychologist
Ellen Langer conducted a study that
found that people were 34 percent-
age points more likely to heed simple
requests when they contained that
magic word. So if you say, “Excuse me,
may I jump ahead in line? My parking
meter runs out in two minutes,” there’s
a 60 percent chance the favor will be
granted. But if you say you need to
skip the line because your meter is
running out, the likelihood leaps to
94 percent. Langer also found that
saying “because” even with a flimsy
excuse raises your odds of success.
4. Ease an Aching Back
You may think you’re giving your
back the night off by sleeping on
your stomach, but that can actually
exacerbate back pain, the Mayo Clinic
found. If that’s your natural position
and you can’t break the habit, tape
an uncooked pea to your stomach
before you crawl into bed, says chiro-
practor Cynthia Vaughn. You’ll forget
it’s there while dozing on your back,
but when you flip over, it’ll wake you
up right away, allowing you to correct
your position.

5.
Nap like a Soldier
Uncle Sam wants you—to take a nap!
The U.S. Army recently rolled out
new guidelines that encourage sol-
diers to take “short, infrequent naps
to restore wakefulness and promote
performance.” The freshly updated
Field Manual FM 7-22: Holistic Health
and Fitness also recommends sticking
closely to a consistent sleep sched-
ule. However, if soldiers (or civilians)
can’t get their typical number of
winks on workdays, they should
try sleeping in and napping to pay
down “sleep debt” rather than stick-
ing to their usual sleep-wake sched-
ules on off days. Beetle Bailey would
be thrilled.
Home & Life Reader ’s Digest
6. Start a Fire in
a Twigless Place
Any good scout knows
that all it takes to
build a fire is tin-
der or kindling
(easy-to-light ma-
terial, usually in the
form of small sticks
or crumpled paper) and
fuel (logs)—and that without
the tinder you won’t get anywhere.
If there isn’t much around in terms
of dead leaves or dry twigs and you
can’t spare the day’s news paper,
Family Handyman says there’s an-
other source hidden in the base-
ment: the lint from your dryer. Stuff it
into empty toilet paper tubes (which
even look like logs) and put them un-
der your grate. These lint logs light
quickly and burn long enough to ig-
nite any wood.
7. Chill a Bottle of Wine
The dinner is ready, the lights are
low, the perfect evening is about to
begin—but you forgot to put the wine
in the fridge. No worries, say the edi-
tors of Taste of Home. Submerge the
bottle in liberally salted ice water and
turn it periodically. The salt will cause
the water’s temperature to drop more
rd.com 73
Reader ’s Digest

quickly, enough for a bottle of red wine

to take only about three to five minutes
to reach a temperature of 50 to 60 de-
grees. Whites will take about eight to
ten minutes, and sparkling wines will
take ten to twenty minutes.

8. Maintain Strong Hips

Keeping both feet planted on the
ground seems like a good way to avoid
shattering a hip. However, a study
from Brigham Young University found
that women ages 25 to 50 who jumped
in place ten times in a row twice a day
upped their hip bone density in just
16 weeks. Find a spacious, flat spot,
and rest 30 seconds between hops.

9. Rescue a Lost Drawstring

Nothing is worse than fiddling with the
drawstring of your favorite hoodie or
sweatpants and realizing too late that
one end has disappeared. To fix it, start
by pulling the whole drawstring out.
Thread one end through a straw and
tie a knot on the end. Then push the
straw (knotted end first) into one of the Boost Short-
openings in the material and work it all
the way around to the other opening.

10. Boil Veggies in Less Time

Instead of filling a pot with water
and waiting for it to boil on the stove,
jump-start the whole process with
your electric teakettle. Pour the boil-
ing water into a preheated pot, and
you’ll be cooking with (or without) gas
fast. Chopped or baby potatoes can be
done in as little as five minutes.
11. Term Memory
A 2018 study from
University of Cal-
ifornia, Ir vine,
found that stu-
dents who pedaled a stationary bike
at a speed that raises heart rate only
30 percent for just ten minutes (a brisk
walk is 50 percent) demonstrated sig-
nificantly better short-term memory
on a test asking them to remember
images they’d seen only briefly.

74 march 2021

12. Get Past the Pain
A university research team in Ger-
many exposed 20 people to a painful
cold stimulus and told them to use
one of three methods to mitigate pain:
counting backward from 1,000 by sev-
ens, thinking of something pleasant,
or telling themselves the pain isn’t
that bad. Researchers found that
counting backward works best be-
cause it requires enough concentra-
tion to distract from the pain, even
reducing pain intensity by 50 percent
Home & Life
in some people. So the next time you
bang your funny bone, skip the cuss-
ing and start counting.
13. Revive a Charred Pot
After years and years of use, your
favorite pot is approaching a burned,
residue-filled end. Don’t say goodbye
just yet. Instead, fill the pot about
halfway with water, drop in a dish-
washer tablet, and bring it to a boil.
This soap soup concentrates the
tablet’s full power and should revive
even the most far-gone pot in just ten
minutes.
14. Lower Risks from Diabetes
Science has long suggested that sau-
nas and hot tubs help improve blood
sugar and body fat percentage, but
unless you’ve got an in-home spa,
those things can be hard to come by
on a regular basis. A study presented
NEXT TIME YOU BANG
YOUR FUNNY BONE,
SKIP THE CUSSING
AND START COUNTING.
at the 2020 annual meeting of the
European Association for the Study
of Diabetes found that subjects with
type 2 diabetes who spent anywhere
from 2 to 30 minutes in the bath four
times per week showed decreased
body weight, body mass index (BMI),
waist circumference, diastolic blood
rd.com 75
Reader ’s Digest

pressure, and glycated hemo globin.

All that from a good old- fashioned
soak in a warm tub!

15. Opine for Pocket Change

It pays to be opinionated: Google’s
Opinion Rewards app will pay you
anywhere from ten cents to $1 per
market research survey completed.
Download the app, and Google will
notify you when there’s an available
survey. You’ll have 24 hours to com-

18.
plete it, but most surveys take less
than 20 seconds.

16. Preclean Your Green Thumbs

Gardening gloves are a good idea—if
you remember where you put them.
Another solution: Run your fingernails
across a bar of soap before you dig into
the dirt. The soap will keep out the dirt
and help you scrub up later.
17. Quell That Shopping Impulse
A survey from slickdeals.net found
that impulse shopping has increased
by 18 percent since the onset of the
COVID-19 pandemic. If your credit card
information is saved to your browser
or if your Amazon one-click purchase
is enabled, it’s easy to find yourself
making too many gratuitous pur-
chases. Disabling these features and
forcing yourself to get up and dig out
your credit card, enter your payment
information manually, and go through
the standard checkout process will de-
crease the likelihood that you’ll com-
plete the purchase by 30 percent.
Feel More Optimistic
Shawn Achor, CEO of GoodThink, Inc.,
performed a study with Harvard Uni-
versity that found that subjects who
took two minutes each day to write a
positive message to somebody who
supports and is close to them score sig-
nificantly higher in optimism and life
satisfaction after just 21 days. “People
who do this not only get great e-mails
and texts back; they’re also perceived
as positive leaders,” says Achor.
19. Undo Stuck-at-Desk
Syndrome
Research from the University of Mis-
souri found that just six hours of
prolonged sitting reduces blood flow
to the legs, preventing healthy dila-
tion of significant arteries in your
calves and harming vascular health.

76 march 2021

However, the study also found that it
takes only ten minutes of walking after
an extended sedentary period to work
those arteries to dilation and quickly
restore blood flow to healthy levels.
20. Unclog a Drain
Even if you share a bathroom with
Rapunzel, hair clogs can be easier
to remove than you think. The edi-
tors at Family Handyman say to start
with a wire coat hanger and untwist
to free the hook, leaving the nonhook
end of the wire in its twist. Now that
it’s shaped like a tiny auger, push the
nonhook, auger end down the drain
to the clog. Bend the hook end to form
a handle, and crank it so the auger
bores into the clog. Pull, and voilà!
21. Convert Celsius to Fahrenheit
There’s not a huge difference between
the Fahrenheit and Celsius scales, ex-
cept that 70 degrees on one means it’s
a nice day and on the other means you
are dead. To avoid future moments of
panic, there’s a simple formula for
converting C to F: Multiply by two
and add 30. To go from Fahrenheit to
Celsius, do the reverse: First subtract
30, then divide by two.
22. Boost Your Self-Esteem
A little extra serotonin is just a five-
minute good deed away, according to
research published in Psychological
Bulletin. The study found that behav-
ior based on cooperation, compas-
sion, trust, and altruism can increase
Home & Life
individual health and psychological
function. “Helping an elderly neigh-
bor carry groceries, for example, offers
a prosocial boost for both sides,” says
Bryant Hui, PhD, a researcher on the
study. Researchers from the University
of Pennsylvania, Yale University, and
Harvard also found that volunteers’
A TEN-MINUTE WALK
RESTORES VASCULAR
HEALTH DEPLETED
BY A DAY OF SITTING.
sense of “time affluence” (the feeling
of having plenty of time for leisure and
meaningful activities) rose when doing
small selfless acts for others, compared
with those who got to spend time on
themselves or simply wasted time.
23. Keep Your Fly Closed
Realize a little too late that the zipper
on your favorite jeans has gone faulty
and won’t stay up? Slip a key ring off
your key chain and scurry away to the
bathroom. Attach the pull to the ring
as you would a key, close the zipper,
and then hang the key ring over your
pants button. The zipper will stay up
on the teeth and under the radar until
you can get the pants to a tailor.
24. Safeguard Against
Garbage Juice
There’s perhaps nothing more dis-
gusting than lifting a full plastic bag
rd.com 77
Reader ’s Digest
out of the trash can only to find that
it has sprung a leak. Protect the can
from future gunk eruptions by placing
neatly folded newspaper at the bot-
tom. It will soak up any foul-smelling
liquids that escape from the bag.
25. Prep the Pets for Alone Time
If we have to derive one good thing
from the pandemic (which we don’t),
it’s the extended quality time we’ve
had with our pets. However, lockdown
will end at some point, and you don’t
want to leave man’s best friend heart-
broken once man (and woman) has to
reenter the world. Arizona State Uni-
versity’s Canine Science Collaboratory
director Clive Wynne, PhD, suggests
starting to leave the house for ten min-
utes each day and slowly building the
POST-PANDEMIC,
FIDO WILL NEED TO
RELEARN HOW TO BE
HOME WITHOUT YOU.
time increment so your pet can gradu-
ally adjust to your eventual extended
absence. (BTW, experts have debunked
the myth that too much cooing over
your pet upon your return home ex-
acerbates separation anxiety. In fact,
make as much of a fuss as you want!)
26. Save Money on Amazon
Not sure whether amazon.com is giv-
ing you its best offer right now? Scroll
78 march 2021
down the product page until you
find your item’s ten-character Ama-
zon Standard Identification Number
(ASIN), or hit command+F (control+F
for PC users) and type “ASIN” into the
find bar that appears. Then head over
to keepa.com, an Amazon price track-
ing site. Enter the ASIN number in the
search bar to access the item’s price
history; if there has been a lower price
in the past, it’ll probably drop again.
27. Don’t Cry over Spilled Eggs
Is there any mess like egg mess? Not
quite solid, not quite liquid, but a vex-
ing hybrid that’s hard to wipe or scoop
up. If an egg hits the linoleum instead
of the pan, give it a good salting (be
mindful not to grind it into the floor).
Wait ten minutes, and that raw egg
will turn nearly solid for a much easier
pickup that won’t leave your broom
gooey or your dishrag trashworthy.
28. Ease the Body, Ease the Mind
Researchers from the University of
Konstanz in Germany have found that
just a ten-minute massage is enough
to put you at ease, both physically and
psychologically. It’s the first research
to confirm the relationship between
brief massages (or even just a gentle
stroke of the shoulders) and the para-
sympathetic nervous system, which
is responsible for initiating a sense
of calm and restoring balance to the
body after a stressful episode. No spa
day is necessary to rev your body’s
physiological relaxation response.

29.
Whip Up a Chocolate Cake
Seriouseats.com has come up with
a delicious microwave cake recipe
for all your last-minute party needs:
Just mix together ¾ cup flour,
¾ cup granulated sugar, ¾ cup cocoa,
2¼ teaspoons baking powder, ¼ tea-
spoon salt, 2 egg yolks, 6 tablespoons
melted butter, 2  teaspoons vanilla
extract, ½ cup chocolate chips, and
1 cup warm water, and 5 microwave
minutes later, you’ll be blowing out
the candles on a scrumptious choco-
late confection!
Home & Life
30. Raise Your Credit Score
Experian Boost is a free service that
lets you factor certain on-time pay-
ments you’ve made (cell phone,
Inter net, electric, water, gas, cable,
and streaming bills) into your credit
report to potentially improve your
credit score while allowing you to
omit missed or late payments. By
taking just a few minutes to sign up,
you can add up to 24 months’ worth
of past on-time bill payments (and
countless future ones) to bump your
FICO credit score. The company says
that more than four million users have
garnered a collective 29 million credit
points via the service (a little more
than seven points per person).
rd.com 79
Reader ’s Digest

31. Let There Be Light
Tired of fumbling in the dark for the
light switch? Family Handyman sug-
gests dabbing glow-in-the-dark paint
on the end of the switch.
Truly Tire Out
a sleeping dog lie, it’s just never go-
ing to happen if you have an excit-
able border collie or athletic German
shepherd that needs lots of physi-
cal activity. To keep Bingo happy,
healthy, and tired, take him to the top
of a small hill for a lively ten-minute

32. the Dog

As much as you
might like to let
game of gravity-enhanced fetch. The
incline should be small enough that
the dog can catch up to the ball once
the ground lev-
els at the bot-
tom. Then he
must run up
the slope to re-
turn the ball,
doubling the
amount of en-
ergy exerted.

33. Remove
Carpet Dents
It feels great to do
a bit of furniture
re a r ra n g i n g —
or, better yet,
purging—but
those dents
in the carpet
ca n l i n g e r a s
the ghosts of
couches past.
Drop an ice
cube onto the
spot and blast it
with a hair dryer
until it melts
and the carpet
dries again. The

80 march 2021

moisture-heat combo will restore the
carpet fibers to their natural state
(much as it does your own hair). Frizz
finally uses its powers for good instead
of evil!
34. Ready-to-Eat Pasta in
Just One Minute
Any minutes are too many to wait for
pasta to cook, so cut your time to the
bare minimum with precooking. Pre-
pare any pasta to al dente firmness,
drain, and cool. Lightly coat it with
vegetable or olive oil and put in a stor-
age container or bag in the fridge for
up to three days. When you’re ready
to eat, put the pasta in boiling water
for about 50 seconds, then drain and
enjoy.
35. Audit Your Autopay
Subscriptions
Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime,
oh my! With the number of streaming
services on the market, it can be hard
to remember which ones you signed
up for but want to cancel, signed up
for and want to keep, or signed up for
but wanted only the free trial. Tech
consulting firm West Monroe found
that Americans spend about $237
per month on autopay subscrip-
tions. They also found that 84 percent
of us underestimate subscription
expenses—51 percent by $100 or
more. Apps such as TrueBill, Bobby,
and Subscro connect to your bank
account and automatically identify
subscription services, which you can
Home & Life
then track on a custom dashboard.
Or spend a few minutes yourself to
identify recurring charges on your
accounts—$237 per month adds up
to $2,844 annually!
YOU ARE HAVING A
COOKIE EMERGENCY—
YOU NEED
A BATCH, STAT!
36. Sanitize a Toothbrush
According to a University of Man-
chester study, about ten million tiny
bacterial tenants are living in your
toothbrush bristles and vacation-
ing on your bicuspids every time
you brush. Serve them an eviction
notice by rinsing the toothbrush un-
der the tap and storing it upright to
dry. Then swish the bristles in mouth-
wash for 30 seconds to really send
bacteria packing.
37. Soften Butter for Baking
You are having a chocolate chip
cookie emergency—you need a nice,
warm batch, stat! If you don’t have
time to let the butter get to room
temperature, take out your metal box
grater. Partially unwrap the stick and
rub the exposed part against the larg-
est holes, carefully working your way
down the stick. These butter shreds
will fold easily into your cookie
dough. RD
rd.com 81
Reader ’s Digest

82 march 2021 Photographs by Joleen Zubek

 TRUSTED BRANDS

IT’S NOT PRETTY, AND IT’S NOT SWEET:

HOW BROWN LISTERINE BECAME NO. 1
IN AMERICANS’ HEARTS AND MOUTHS

By Bill Hangley

rd.com 83
Reader ’s Digest
is a land of rainbows. The perky pink
of Pepto-Bismol. The soothing green
of NyQuil. From aisle to aisle, peppy
purples and rootin’-tootin’ reds prom-
ise fresh this and happier that.
But lest anyone be lulled into think-
ing it’s all fun and games, a familiar
whiskey-colored face is still there to
remind us that it’s still about killing
germs.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the
product America trusts with its dirti-
est jobs: Listerine.
Specifically, the brown stuff. Of-
ficial name: Listerine Original Anti-
septic Mouthwash. It’s the stuff you
find in Pop-Pop’s medicine cabinet
that tastes like an old shoe. The stuff
that’s become an unlikely superstar
to teenagers, stand-up comedians,
and beyond. And the stuff that was
named the most trusted mouthwash
in the Reader’s Digest annual survey
of health and wellness products. In
fact, the 4,000 Americans surveyed
84 march 2021
by the global market research firm
Ipsos selected Listerine as the single
most trusted brand in their medicine
cabinets.
“I like to think that the burning in-
side my mouth makes that bacteria
suffer,” said one person in the survey.
“There ain’t anything more real,”
comic Tony Baker recently put it.
“The brown Listerine plays zero
games. The brown Listerine is all
business.”
Listerine’s savage reputation is no
accident. The original brown liquid
was created in St. Louis in 1879 as
an antibacterial cleanser for doc-
tors and dentists. Inventor Joseph
Lawrence, MD, named his creation
after Joseph Lister, a famous English
surgeon who’d pioneered the use of
antiseptics.
The product sold modestly at first.
But starting in 1920, Listerine’s for-
tunes skyrocketed, fueled by a single
word: halitosis.
from left: university of southern california/getty images. photos.com/getty images
To bolster its germ-fighting credibility, the inventor of Listerine named his
mouthwash after Dr. Joseph Lister (right), a pioneer of antiseptic surgery.
That grim-sounding bit of Latin
means simply “bad breath.” Listerine
made it infamous with an ad cam-
paign as ruthless as the product itself.
In magazines and newspapers, full-
page spreads showed unfortunate,
sad-eyed men and women being os-
tracized from polite society:
“They talk about you behind your
back.”
“Don’t offend others needlessly.”
“Are you unpopular with your own
children?”
S e e m r i d i c u l o u s ? A m e r i ca n s
didn’t think so. Within seven years
of launching its halitosis ads, Lister-
ine’s annual revenues had gone from
$115,000 to $8 million, and to this day
it remains the nation’s leading mouth-
wash brand. “Cool Mint” blue is now
Trusted Brands
Listerine’s most popular flavor, but
the brown stuff (which has come to be
called “Gold” in some adoring circles)
comes close behind.
Gold or brown, in the COVID-19 era,
the product behind this household
name seems likely to keep on shining.
The pandemic has handed the $30
billion minty-fresh-breath industry—
mouthwashes, mints, breath strips,
and gels—a real challenge. Retail
sales from 2020 showed a 20 percent
drop in breath mints, for example.
One leading company saw sales drop
by 40 percent. “No one has anybody
they’re looking to impress with fresh
breath right now,” writes Marnie
Shure, a food and entertainment jour-
nalist for thetakeout.com. “No close-
quarters job interviews, first dates,
rd.com 85
Reader ’s Digest

or big kissing scenes in a community intended to be used to help prevent

theater production of Oklahoma!”
But the pandemic is a good time
to be fighting germs. Some Listerine
fans got excited last summer when
research showed that anti septic
mouthwashes containing alcohol
and essential oils such as menthol,
thymol, and methyl salicylate (the
butt-kicking active ingredients in Lis-
terine) can kill the virus that causes
COVID-19 in a petri dish. Sadly, that
doesn’t mean Listerine can help con-
trol the disease in people—the virus
lurks in the lungs and throat, not
just our mouths. “Mouthwash is only
common oral health problems like
bad breath,” the company advises on
its website.
It’s even possible to overuse mouth-
wash, many physicians warn. “The
problem is that while there are bad
and smelly bacteria we want to get
rid of, there are good bacteria that we
need,” says Jason Woloski, a family
doctor in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.
But there’s no doubt that Listerine
kills germs—up to 99.9 percent of
those it encounters in your mouth,
the company claims. In fact, a decade
ago, a study conducted in India and

The 19 Other Most Trusted Health Brands

For the seventh year in a row, Reader’s Digest has teamed up with the
global market research firm Ipsos to identify the product brands that
Americans say they trust the most. The winners in 20 health and
wellness categories include some new ones, including in the CBD and
health insurance categories. And in this most unusual year, we expanded
the criteria to factor in how well Americans think the brand has responded
to the pandemic and also supported diversity and racial justice.

Allergy Relief Cold/Flu Remedy Headache/Pain Reliever

BENADRYL NYQUIL TYLENOL

Body Lotion Contact Lens Health Insurance

AVEENO ACUVUE BLUE CROSS/
BLUE SHIELD
CBD (cannabidiol) Cough Remedy Healthy Cereal
CHARLOTTE’S WEB/ ROBITUSSIN CHEERIOS
PUREKANA/NULIFE
CBD/VERMA FARMS Eye Drops Heartburn/Antacid
(FOUR-WAY TIE) VISINE TUMS

86 march 2021
 Trusted Brands

published by the National Institutes
of Health found that rinsing with an
antiseptic mouthwash is at least as ef-
fective in controlling gum disease as
flossing. The brand used in its study:
Listerine.
UNGLAMOROUS
LISTERINE
HAS ACHIEVED
REMARKABLE FAME.
And superfans have long known
that if you’re willing to experiment
(and you’re careful), Listerine and
other antiseptic mouthwashes can do
the dirty work in all sorts of places.
Countless online guides share reci-
pes for using it all around the house. It
can clean your toilet, your floor, your
flaking scalp, and even your smelly
garbage disposal. “Just pour about
two tablespoons down the drain, let it
work for about an hour, then run the
disposal with hot water for one min-
ute,” advises one site. Put brown Lis-
terine on an itchy scalp to kill lice. Put
it on yellow toenails to kill fungus. In
the health-care world, these are what
are known as off-label uses. In other
words: Proceed with care and check
with your doctor.
Clearly, Listerine has achieved a
level of pop-culture fame that’s re-
markable for such an unglamorous
product. There are videos all over
YouTube, Twitter, and TikTok of
young people taking the Brown Lis-
terine Challenge, showing off how
long they can maintain a mouthful of
the stuff. They rarely last longer than
30 seconds.
“Brown Listerine could fry chicken
in a pan with the stove off,” concluded
one young taste tester. “Brown Lister-
ine kills vampires and werewolves,”
said another.
In other words, the brown stuff
takes no prisoners. Fortunately, it’s
on our side. RD

Herbal Supplement Sleep Aid

NATURE MADE NYQUIL
Multivitamin Sugar Alternative
CENTRUM SPLENDA
Nutritional Drink/
Meal Replacement Sun Protection
ENSURE COPPERTONE

Pharmacy Toothpaste
CVS PHARMACY CREST

rd.com 87
Reader ’s Digest
 DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

RESCUE ON
THE HIGH RISE
BRIDGE
With his truck dangling 70 feet above a roiling river
and a storm whipping 50-mph winds, a trapped
driver’s only hope is a team of trained emergency
rescuers—who are stuck in traffic

By Anita Bartholomew
ILLUSTRATIONS by Steven P. Hughes

rd.com | march 2021 89

Reader ’s Digest Drama in Real Life

The winds this April morning were giving Wayne Boone’s

massive 2007 Freightliner tractor trailer a good lashing.
A driver for Butler Paper Recycling in Suffolk, Virginia, Boone
steered the empty 18-wheeler up a stretch of Interstate 64
in Chesapeake toward Virginia Beach, about 25 miles away,
where he would pick up his first load of the day.

The 53-year-old driver pulled into
the eastbound left lane of the G.A.
Treakle Memorial Bridge, known to
locals simply as the I-64 High Rise, a
four-lane drawbridge that traverses
the southern branch of the Elizabeth
River. On the span, the storm let loose
its full force, finding no obstacles in its
path but vehicles, which it pummeled.
Rain hammered Boone’s windshield.
Winds grew fiercer. Boone slowed, let-
ting cars pass. It would be good to get
to the other side.
At the bridge’s crest, 70 feet above
the rushing estuary, the concrete road
gives way to steel decking. Even in
perfect weather it’s easy to lose trac-
tion on the grids. Boone’s front wheels
met the slick steel just as a powerful
gust blasted the driver’s side.
To Boone, it felt as if the wind lifted
his truck clear off the surface. He
could swear that he was floating for a
second before being dumped into the
right lane. He had no time to consider
how such a thing could be possible.
His cab barreled into the guardrail on
the far right edge, mangling the metal
barrier that protected his truck from
pitching into the water below. He
struggled to regain control. His empty
trailer, meanwhile, jackknifed to the
left, skidding sideways at an angle to
the cab.
Fighting both truck and weather, the
steering wheel unresponsive, Boone
was swept along about 200 feet, un-
able to get traction. Then a second
gust, raging more violently than the
THE WIND LIFTED
THE CAB OVER THE
EDGE OF THE BRIDGE
AND THEN DROPPED IT.
first, blew through the open mesh
of the bridge’s steel grid. It slammed
into the driver’s side of the cab and si-
multaneously shoved it upward from
below, lifting the cab, with Boone in-
side, over the edge of the bridge before
dropping it again.
If he had had any hope of survival
before, it was gone. The cab was now
aimed straight down toward the gray-
black water.

90 march 2021
Lieutenant Chad
Little, 49, of the Chesa-
p e a k e Fi re D e p a r t-
ment, was on his way
to conduct a CPR train-
ing class when an odd
message popped up on
his SUV’s touchscreen:
“Truck hanging over
the bridge.” He was
only a minute or two
away. He flicked on his
emergency lights and
siren and sped to the
High Rise.
The traffic on the
bridge was impass-
able. Little got as far as
the drawbridge’s grid
and no farther. When
he stepped outside,
the wind blasted him.
He tucked in his chin,
walked ahead about
75 yards, and radioed in
his assessment. The front cab of a trac- meant calling in Rescue 15, a team
tor trailer had gone over the High Rise, of highly trained firefighter- EMT s
leaving its trailer still on the bridge. The who respond when the unthinkable
heavy steel frame between the cab and happens: an earthquake, a building
the fifth wheel, where the cab couples collapse, a bombing, or some other
with the trailer, had literally folded, disaster. He then switched to another
and the cab, bent at a 90-degree angle, channel to request the largest fireboat
dangled over the river. Engine, hood, in the region. Working over the water
and fuel tanks had already fallen, leav- in this weather, he needed assets be-
ing a slick on the water. The driver was low in case something—or someone—
trapped in the cab, hanging ten feet should fall.
below the roadbed. Meanwhile, a bystander had tossed
“This will be a complex technical a rigging strap and the kind of harness
rescue incident,” Little reported. That a roofer would wear over the edge of

rd.com 91
Reader ’s Digest

the bridge to the driver. Police officers

and civilians stood in a line holding
the rope as if they were in a one-sided
tug-of-war. Little appreciated that
they wanted to help, but he explained
that if they pulled the driver out of the
truck without the proper equipment,
he was likely to tumble to his death.
Once Rescue 15 got there, the team
members would anchor their special-
ized equipment for a complex rope
rescue before trying to move him.
The first ladder truck arrived from
the westbound side of the bridge,
where traffic was still able to move.
Running chains over the concrete bar-
rier that separated the east- and west-
bound lanes, firefighters anchored Injured and disoriented, Wayne Boone
their truck to the cab’s back wheels. was dangling inside the cab of his truck
for over an hour.
Wayne Boone, the driver, knew
he should be dead. Busting through of escaping the cab and surviving, he
the guardrail and then literally flying had to get free from his seat belt. The
through the air before nose-diving to- position of the cab gave little room to
ward the river—it had all happened so maneuver. The cracked windshield be-
fast. How was he still alive? Somehow, neath him exposed the looming dark
the back of his cab had snagged on the waters below. If he put any weight on
bridge’s edge before it could complete the glass, he risked breaking through courtesy chesapeake fire department
its descent. Still strapped into his seat, and falling the rest of the way. Under
he dangled at a 90-degree angle above the howl of the wind, he heard voices
the rushing Elizabeth River, swinging from above. “It’s about to go!”
with each new gust. Whatever the Got to get free.
force was that held the cab on the Releasing his seat belt, Boone tried
edge, he knew it couldn’t last. Gravity to hang on to the seat, but he imme-
and wind would have their say. diately slid into the windshield. The
Sticky red blood spilled into his glass shifted in its frame. He scram-
eyes. He was injured, but his body had bled upward, doing his best to grab
yet to fully register the pain. He forced pieces of the shattered dashboard,
himself to focus. If he had any chance aware that he was getting cut along

92 march 2021
 Drama in Real Life

the way. He slipped again. And again. But their first challenge was more
Each time his feet met the windshield, mundane: the sea of red brake lights
the glass gave a little more. The next that greeted them on the bridge. If this
time could be the last. Summoning all were an ordinary road, vehicles would
his strength, straddling broken bits of have made way at the first whoop from
truck, he pulled himself between the a fire truck. But because the bridge
seats and wedged himself back as far had, at most, a two-foot shoulder,
as he could behind the driver’s seat. the cars had nowhere to go. Beazley
He had only inches of space; it would jumped down, tapped on windows,
have to do. and got a few vehicles to move in or-
Minutes passed—to Boone, it felt der to let the rescuers pass. As they
like hours—before he heard the ap- inched forward, the clock ticked on
proaching sirens. To his ears, the the dangling trucker. Traffic filled in
jarring wail could have been angels behind them, cutting off the possibil-
singing. Somewhere in the cab, his ity of backing up and approaching
phone rang. He would have given
anything for the comfort of another
human voice, but though he reached
around, searching as well as he could
from the cramped position, the ring-
ing’s source eluded him.
From the bridge above, an onlooker
tossed him a harness. Boone reached
out his open driver’s side window and
pulled it inside the cab. That effort
was all he could manage. Disoriented
and weak, he could not figure out how
to get it on his body.
courtesy chesapeake fire department

The call came in to Rescue 15

at 8:43 a.m. The trio on duty at that
time—Brad Gregory, 57; Justin Beaz-
ley, 25; and Mark Poag, 43—piled
into the rescue truck that carried all
their extrication gear and headed to
the scene, running through various
rescue scenarios to figure out what As 50-mph wind gusts threatened to
ropes they would need and where toss him off the truck, Justin Beazley did
they should position the equipment. his best to put the trucker at ease.

rd.com 93

from the westbound lanes, which
police had cleared. A couple hun-
dred yards from the accident, it was
clear they would get no farther. Beaz-
ley grabbed the harnesses, rope, and
some other gear off the top of the
rescue truck and hitched a ride on
Ladder 12, a fire truck headed to the
scene in the cleared westbound lane.
Poag and Gregory gathered the
rest of the equipment they expected
to need from their truck: more rope,
a pulley system called a set-of-fours,
and a belay to anchor equipment to
at the scene. As they marched toward
the crippled tractor trailer, the wind
grew more intense. Rain and sleet bat-
tered them sideways, soaking through
to the skin. About a dozen bystanders
had left their cars, braving the storm’s
fury to stand vigil at the bridge’s edge.
Gregory, Poag, and the crew mem-
bers of the ladder truck quickly de-
vised a plan: Beazley would rappel
down to the driver from the extended
ladder of one of the trucks, open the
door, and secure the driver to himself,
and then the two would be lifted to
safety. By now, sustained winds were
approaching 50  mph, with stronger
gusts. Working shoulder to shoulder,
they had to shout to hear each other
above the howling gales.
Beazley walked to the bridge’s edge
and tried to process what he saw.
It was like no incident he’d ever re-
sponded to before. Spilled diesel fuel
soaked everything on the ground,
including their equipment. The cab
Drama in Real Life Reader ’s Digest
appeared to be barely holding on.
Getting into his harness, Beazley
checked the rope and rigging. He
would be tied in with an elevated an-
chor to prevent him from falling into
the river should anything go wrong.
The ladder operator positioned the
fire truck’s extended ladder over the
top of the crippled tractor trailer
and then set it in place. Ordinarily,
firefighters would not raise a ladder
in such high winds. It could shake
the truck and wear out the metal. In
EACH TIME HIS FEET
MET THE WINDSHIELD,
THE GLASS GAVE
A LITTLE MORE.
theory, the wind could even blow the
fire truck over. But this was as far from
ordinarily as it got.
Poag and another firefighter had
command of the pulley system at-
tached to the ladder. Beazley, in his
harness, was fastened at the other
end. Working the pulleys, they lifted
Beazley over the bridge’s edge, ma-
neuvered him above the cab, and
slowly lowered him.
As he rappelled toward the truck
driver, the wind tossed Beazley like
a pinball. He grabbed on to the cab
to avoid being blown into the bridge.
He’d planned to open the door to
extricate the driver, but now he saw
rd.com | march 2021 95
Reader ’s Digest
Of saving the incapacitated truck’s driver, Beazley told Virginia’s WTKR, “It all
happened so quick. You train for this, but you just never expect it.”
that such a move risked putting more
downward pressure on the vehicle.
Any rescue attempt would have to be
via the window.
The driver, Beazley realized, was in
shock. After dangling in the wind for
an hour, waiting to die, he was spent.
But the relief in his eyes at seeing
Beazley was evident. “My name’s Jus-
tin,” Beazley shouted. “What’s yours?”
Boone replied, but Beazley barely
heard him. “We’re going to get you out
of here,” he said. He handed the har-
ness through the open window and
gave Boone step-by-step instructions
for getting into it while he continued
to grip the cab’s side.
Boone fumbled with the apparatus.
96 march 2021
He was trying to do as Beazley in-
structed but was clearly too dazed to
assist in his own extraction. The wind,
meanwhile, wanted to blast Beazley
off the cab’s door. The rescue became
more precarious by the second as
50-to-60-mph gusts lashed at both the
cab and the rescuer. Beazley realized
there was no time left. He would have
to get inside the cab.
Pulling his torso through the win-
courtesy wtkr - norfolk
dow, he worked quickly and methodi-
cally to get each of Boone’s arms and
legs through the loops of the harness,
securing him to the rope system that
effectively tethered them to each
other. Beazley spoke reassuringly.
“C’mon, you can do it,” he said as he
 Drama in Real Life

grabbed the pulley and hoisted him-
self and the bloodied Boone through
the window and fully into the whip-
ping winds. Poag and a second fire-
fighter worked the pulleys to haul
them back up. As driver and rescuer
cleared the edge, cheers broke out
BOONE WAS CLEARLY
TOO DISORIENTED
TO HELP IN
HIS OWN RESCUE.
from the crowd on the bridge. Three
first responders bear-hugged both
men and pulled them back over the
guardrail. It was over.
Paramedics bundled the injured
man into an ambulance, but the storm
wasn’t quite done. A gust rose up and,
despite the securing chains, lifted one
side of Boone’s empty trailer into the
air and shoved it half a lane across the
roadway, prompting the firefighters to
evacuate the area.
Boone was taken to Norfolk Sen-
tara General Hospital, having suffered
lacerations and other injuries to his
face, neck, shoulder, and knees. The
worst damage was to his right ear,
which was almost severed from his
head in the crash, but doctors were
able to save it.
Through it all, Boone had never
panicked. He had accepted his fate.
He was ready to go if that’s what
the man upstairs had in mind. But
a stranger had risked his own life to
save him. Hearing people shout with
joy when they saw the firefighter
deliver him to safety had been up-
lifting. In a world that could some-
times seem mean and lonely, people
still cared. His heart was awash in
gratitude.
Back on the bridge, once Boone was
on safe ground, Beazley had reached
out for a handshake. Naturally reti-
cent and emotionally and physically
drained, Boone had taken his res-
cuer’s hand and hoped the gesture
would say everything he couldn’t. RD

Secrets of the Keyboard

The longest word you can type using only the top row of a
standard QWERTY keyboard is the 11-letter rupturewort, though
proprietor, perpetuity, repertoire, and typewriter are among
the more common—and only slightly shorter—words. The longest
common word you can type using only the middle row is the
ten-letter alfalfas. But the bottom row contains no vowels,
which leaves only zzz and mmm—if you even count those.
quora.com and sheep.horse

rd.com 97
Reader ’s Digest
A contraband
cell phone
smuggled
into prison—
inside a book

FROM THE COM

 NATIONAL INTEREST

MFORT OF THEIR
CELLS
A DIABOLICAL SCAM SNARES EVERYDAY AMERICANS. THE REAL
SHOCK IS THAT IT IS PULLED OFF BY PRISONERS.
By Doug Shadel
from aarp

rd.com | march 2021 99

 so many of us, Kaj Miller, 50, almost
never answers her home phone any-
more. But when it rang one Saturday
morning in August 2015, the caller
ID read “San Diego County Sheriff ’s
Office.” Since she’d had a number of
family members in trouble with the
law over the years, she decided to pick
up. Turns out that she was the one in
trouble. The officer on the phone told
her she had missed jury duty and
there were warrants out for her im-
mediate arrest.
Miller didn’t believe him. “I had just
served on a jury three months before,”
she says, “so I pushed back and told
him I thought it was a scam. I asked
to talk to his supervisor.”
The man on the phone calmly
said “No problem,” gave Miller the
number for the sheriff ’s office, and
told her to ask for the Court Ser-
vices Division. When she called the
number, a recording answered with
“San Diego County Sheriff ’s Office,”
then ran through a series of prompts.
She pressed 3 for the Court Services
Division.
Captain Dwight Garrison picked up
the call and, after a pause to check her
100 march 2021
status, told her the same story: She
had missed several jury duty notices
and there were two warrants in circu-
lation for her arrest. “Unfortunately,
previous spread: mel evans/ap/shutterstock (cell phone), courtesy georgia department of
corrections (mug shot), joleen zubek (money order), archive.org (government document)
because it’s Saturday, if you don’t
work with me to pay the $989 fine, of-
ficers will come out to your house and
arrest you.”
Miller told Garrison that there must
be some mistake; he responded that
she was probably right. But only the
court could say so, and it was closed.
Meanwhile, the warrants were still
“WORK WITH ME OR
OFFICERS WILL COME
AND ARREST YOU.”
live. The one way to avoid arrest was
to pay the fine and then straighten
things out on Monday, when the court
reopened. Otherwise, Miller would
likely spend the rest of the weekend
in jail.
Miller was still skeptical, but the
prospect of being arrested and spend-
ing a night or two in jail really did

frighten her. “At this point, I’m ner-
vous. I’m all alone; it’s midafternoon
on a Saturday. I was terrified.”
So she decided to follow Garrison’s
courtesy georgia department of corrections
instructions. She drove to Walmart,
as she was told to do, took out a $989
MoneyGram wire, and gave Garrison
the wiring information and immedi-
ate access to the money. Still on the
phone, Garrison told her that only
part of the money went through, so
she needed to get another money or-
der to avoid arrest. By this time, Miller
had had it. After a testy back-and-
forth with Garrison, she hung up and
nervously waited out the weekend.
On Monday she called the San
National Interest Reader ’s Digest
Sneaking
phones into
prison was key
to the ruse.
Diego County Sheriff ’s Department,
and an officer confirmed her fears.
“Captain Dwight Garrison” was actu-
ally sitting 2,200 miles away in a jail
cell at Autry State Prison, a medium-
security facility in Pelham, Georgia.
His real name: Joseph Tate. He was
two years into serving a 40-year sen-
tence for cocaine distribution. His
cellmate, Jesse Lopez, was the first
“officer” Miller had spoken with; he
was serving a ten-year sentence at
Autry for two robbery convictions.
Lopez and Tate made a good
team; over a two-year span, they had
brought in more than $300,000 from
rd.com 101

the bunks of their cell by pretend-
ing to be cops and calling people
around the country, pulling the jury
duty scam. It’s a relatively simple,
common swindle that requires just a
phone, a few apps, and a healthy dose
of chutzpah.
Lopez and Tate had all these tools.
And they got very good at using them,
playing off each other’s strengths. Lo-
pez was the researcher, staying up for
days at a time, high on crystal meth
that was smuggled into the prison,
finding potential victims to target and
all the information about local courts
and sheriffs to use in the pitch. Tate, a
gifted talker, was the closer—he had a
knack for persuading people to send
him money. He even got a retired
judge to pay more than $900 so his
daughter, who supposedly missed jury
duty, wouldn’t be sent to jail.
Key to the success of the conspiracy
were the cell phones smuggled into
the prison. By law, inmates aren’t
allowed to have them. But overcom-
ing that is often just a question of
102 march 2021
the online hunt for
victims. Tate talked
them into sending
the money.
jailhouse economics. Reginald Per-
kins was one of the guys recruited to
join the scam, and in testimony to FBI
agents, he explained how easy it was
to smuggle cell phones into Autry.
The most common strategy was sim-
ply to bribe the guards. A prison guard
in Georgia makes $15 to $20 an hour.
As Perkins told the FBI, “I can pay them
$1,000 in one day for a cell phone.
Who’s not going to take the chance?”
More creative ways to smuggle
in cell phones included throwing
courtesy georgia department of corrections (2)
them over a prison wall or even fly-
ing them over with hand-controlled
drones. Then either corrupt guards
or inmates would pick them up. Or
consider the case of the old couch
that was sent to a different Georgia
prison so it could be reupholstered
by inmates getting vocational train-
ing. More than 100 cell phones were
found hidden inside.
With phones in hand and endless
free time, Lopez and Tate got to work.
Mostly they targeted individuals living
in wealthy neighborhoods. “It’s easier

to get money from people who have
money,” Lopez later testified. “And
they are more likely to not want to
go to jail.” The Internet and a smart-
phone made locating them a cinch.
“I would go to Zillow [an online real
estate service] and type in a listing for
something between maybe $1 mil-
lion to $3 million. If I’m looking at a
million-dollar house, there is not go-
ing to be a trailer park right next to it.
So I would just go in the area around
it and start calling people.”
Lopez liked to phone his victims
late in the afternoon, hoping no one
was home. He would leave a message,
using a VoIP (Voice over Internet Pro-
tocol) service to fool the caller ID so
it looked as if the call came from the
local police department. When the
victim got home and found a message
from the police, the person would call
back and once again be tricked by Lo-
pez. He used an app that directed the
call to an online call center, where
an automated answering service al-
lowed him to record something like,
“You have reached the Detroit Police
Department. To file a police report,
press 1; for civil matters, press 2; for
the Court Services Division, press
3.” If the victim pressed 3, Captain
Dwight Garrison, Lopez’s cellmate,
responded.
“It was more believable if you called
and heard this computer-automated
voice say ‘This is the police depart-
ment’ and give you the same run-
down that any police department
National Interest Reader ’s Digest
nationwide is going to give you,” Lo-
pez says.
Once Tate or Lopez got someone on
the phone, the deceit continued. Lo-
pez had downloaded a police-scanner
app that would play a random feed of
local police calls as background noise
during the phone conversation.
Tate and Lopez also played off each
other. Lopez would be the dumb cop,
pretending to know only that a war-
rant had been issued. He would tell
victims to call Tate for more infor-
mation. When they called back, they
would get Tate/ Garrison, who was
sitting right next to Lopez in their
“IT’S EASIER TO GET
MONEY FROM PEOPLE
WHO HAVE MONEY.”
jail cell. Tate would speak more for-
mally, answering with “Court Services
Division,” and then take the victim
through the process of securing the
money to pay the “fine” or “bond.”
Lopez describes Tate as incredibly
persuasive, which is why he did more
of the pitching and Lopez did more of
the research.
Convincing victims such as Miller
to send in money was just one part
of the conspiracy. The scammers also
needed someone to launder the pay-
ments. That’s where Reginald Perkins
came in. Perkins was a washer, the
rd.com 103

jailhouse term for a money launderer.
He got the job thanks to his unique
ability to befriend women on the out-
side, which he did by using contra-
band phones to access social media
sites. Perkins bragged that he had
about 100 women working for him
across all the 50 states who would help
him launder prepaid debit cards—
usually ones issued by a company
104 march 2021
rich pedroncelli/ap/shutterstock
called Green Dot—and MoneyGrams.
Perkins would get a $500 Green Dot
card from a colleague and then call
one of his “girls,” who would take the
number and convert it to two or three
new debit cards. Next, she would call
him back with the card numbers, after
taking a $100 cut for herself. Perkins
told the FBI that he may have laun-
dered as much as $1 million while

More than
23,000
phones were
confiscated
from Georgia
prisoners.
he was at Autry, including money
brought in by Lopez and Tate.
Washing the initial payment by
transferring it to different cards was
important for two reasons: First, the
inmates wanted to distance them-
selves from the crime as much as pos-
sible; and second, this eliminated the
possibility of a victim canceling the
payment. Once the scammer had the
National Interest Reader ’s Digest
illegal proceeds loaded onto a debit
card, he could use it at the prison store,
trade it for drugs or contraband inside
the prison, or transfer the balance to
friends or family on the outside.
After the police verified that she
didn’t have any warrants against her
for missing jury duty, Kaj Miller filed
a detailed criminal complaint with
them and notified her bank that she
had been scammed. Unlike most vic-
tims, she was able to get a refund from
her bank after some initial debate. But
that was not the end of the matter for
Miller. About two years later, she was
PERKINS LAUNDERED
$1 MILLION FROM
HIS JAIL CELL.
contacted by FBI agents, who asked
whether she would fly to Atlanta to
testify against two of the scammers.
She gladly cooperated.
It turns out that the FBI had been
investigating activities at Autry and
other Georgia prisons for all that
time. The bureau had gone so far as to
transfer an inmate to the prison to act
as an informant. This individual told
inmates at Autry that he had a con-
tact on the outside who could launder
money. What he didn’t tell them was
that that guy was the lead FBI agent
on the case. Over several months, the
rd.com 105
Reader ’s Digest

informant supplied debit cards and

thousands of dollars in cash to in-
mates to build the case against them.
He even secretly recorded Lopez and
Tate practicing their scam craft. The
FBI also intercepted phone calls com-
ing out of the prison and listened in
on the inmates’ sales calls.
Perhaps the bad guys should have
seen this coming. Between 2014 and
2015, sweeps of Georgia prison facili-
ties led to the seizure of 23,000 contra-
band cell phones—one for nearly
every other inmate in the system.
Finally, in January 2016, the U.S.
attorney in Georgia filed criminal
charges against 51 individuals: Tate,
Lopez, 17 other inmates, 15  prison
guards, and 17 civilians. All were al-
leged to be part of a conspiracy to
bribe guards, smuggle contraband
cell phones into the prisons, defraud
citizens, and launder money.
Over the next two years, most of
the 51 individuals pleaded guilty, in-
cluding Lopez and Tate. The excep-
tions were one inmate and a female
washer who fought the charges and
took their case to trial. In April 2018,
Lopez, the FBI ’s confidential infor-
mant, and Miller and five other vic-
tims testified against the two. The
inmate was convicted; the woman was
found not guilty due to insufficient ev-
idence. Perkins, the money launderer,
pleaded guilty in August 2016 and
was sentenced to nearly 13 additional
years in prison.
Although prosecutors were pleased
Kaj Miller went from prey to pursuer when
she testified against her tormentors.
by the convictions, the court found
the crimes disturbing. At the sentenc-
ing, Judge Steve C. Jones said, “When I
sentence people, I say, ‘You are a dan-
ger to society, so I am sentencing you
to prison.’ Well, here is a person who
is in prison and is still a danger to so-
ciety. The amount of money that was
taken—over $1 million—it’s mind-
boggling. You are in prison and you
are able to take that much money.” courtesy doug irvine/brotherdoug media
Did the convictions teach a lesson
to other inmates? Not necessarily.
Several other cases have since been
brought against prisoners in Geor-
gia for perpetrating the same scam.
One, filed in October 2018, charged
an inmate for using a contraband
cell phone to pose as a U.S. marshal
and demand payment from Alabama
residents for missing jury duty. And
in 2019, yet another inmate at Autry

106 march 2021

 National Interest

pleaded guilty to committing fraud convicted in 2004 of the murder of his

using the same scam well after his fel-
low prisoners had been busted.
And Georgia isn’t the only state to
experience these kinds of scams. In
pregnant wife, Laci.
And what about Lopez? After plead-
ing guilty in December 2017 and testi-
fying against two of his coconspirators,
he was sentenced to three years of

“HERE IS A PERSON probation in February 2020. He has

IN PRISON AND STILL
A DANGER TO SOCIETY.”
2020, California inmates pulled in up
to $2 billion in fraudulent unemploy-
ment benefits tied to Pandemic Un-
employment Assistance, reports the
Sacramento Bee. They, too, used con-
traband cell phones to communicate
with each other as well as with out-
side helpers. One of the 35,000 ben-
eficiaries named was Scott Peterson,
made peace with his decision to testify.
“I caused a lot of torment,” he ex-
plained. “And in order for me to cor-
rect that, I’ve got to make amends. If
that means testifying against anybody,
including myself, then that is what I’m
willing to do.”
Miller doesn’t have a lot of sym-
pathy for Lopez or Tate. She also has
some rather blunt advice for the rest
of us: “If someone calls and says you
owe money for missing jury duty,
hang up on them.” RD
aarp the magazine (february/march 2020),
copyright © 2020 by aarp, aarp.org.

Before They Were Stars

After World War I, many of our soldiers returned home with war brides. My aunt
Maggie’s mother was one of them. She came from France and taught French
lessons privately to area children. Sometimes little Maggie (Madeline by birth)
would play with one student while her mother was tutoring the sibling.
One morning, John was free to play while his brother Joseph had his lesson.
The game was hide-and-seek, and Maggie was it. John found a splendid hiding
place in a kitchen cupboard. My aunt realized where he was and shut the door.
There he stayed until Maggie’s mother came looking for him and heard
tapping and a little voice calling, “Madame? Madame?” Years later, my aunt
watched John Fitzgerald Kennedy take the oath of office. “Oh,” she gasped.
“I locked the president of the United States under the kitchen sink!”
reader judy paton, in the reader’s digest book best life stories

rd.com 107
 LAUGHTER
The best Medicine
the doctor. “I knocked
you out for free. The
$900 is for bringing roz chast/cartooncollections.com
you back.”
James received a bill when he got the doctor —Submitted by
for his recent surgery on the phone. Arky Muscato
and was astonished to “No, not at all,” the Peoria, Arizona
see a $900 charge for doctor said calmly.
the anesthesiologist. “Well,” said James, St. Patrick drove all the
He called the office irritated, “that’s awfully snakes out of Ireland.
to demand an explana- costly for just knocking They gave him a great
tion. “Is this some kind someone out!” Uber rating.
of mistake?” he asked “Not really,” replied —@Rollinintheseat

108 march 2021 | rd.com

 Reader ’s Digest

For Lent, I gave up ice cream, fast food, A (VERY) LONG SHOT
and pizza, but obviously not lying.
—Submitted by Doug Torkelson Tulsa, Oklahoma About 10 percent of
Americans fill out a March
Madness bracket for a
An executive was inter- Kid: Mommy, why are pool at the office or with
viewing applicants for all the cars beeping friends. Here are some
the position of divi- their horns? signs you won’t be win-
sional manager. He Mom: Because there’s ning any prizes for yours:
asked each applicant, a wedding going on. ✦ You think Gonzaga is
“What’s two plus two?” Kid: But Mommy, isn’t a euphemism.
The first interviewee the horn a warning ✦ Your Final Four
was an engineer. He signal? includes the University of
pulled out a slide rule Mom: Exactly, son. Phoenix and Hogwarts.
and showed the an- —herway.net
✦ Your top seed?
swer to be between Sesame.
3.999 and 4.001. He A guy tells his psychia-
✦ Your “Which mascot
didn’t get the job. trist, “I always have
would win in a fight?”
The next candidate this weird dream methodology yielded a
was a lawyer. She where I’m locked in a showdown between the
stated that in the case room. There’s a door, Long Island University
of Jenkins v. Brown, but no matter how Ninja Pirates and the
two plus two was hard I try to push it Iona Chuck Norrisses.
proved to be four. She open, it won’t budge.” —humorlabs.com
also didn’t get the job. “Interesting,” says
The last applicant the psychiatrist. “And
was an accountant. does it say anything
When the business- on the door?”
man asked, “What’s “Yes!” the guy
two plus two?” the ac- replies. “It says ‘Pull.’ ”
countant got up from —gcfl.net
neoleo/getty images

his chair, closed the

door, and said in a low
voice, “How much do Got a funny joke?
you want it to be?” It could be worth $$$.
He got the job. For details, go to
—smbtn.com rd.com/submit.
Reader ’s Digest

110 march 2021

 HUMOR

MY NEW
HUSBAND’S

LIFE
I thought the man I’d married was a
rock star. That turned out to be closer
courtesy nancy french. photo illustrations by joleen zubek

to the truth than I ever imagined.

By Nancy French
from washingtonpost.com

When I was 20, a man I barely knew
proposed without a ring.
I said yes.
Our friends were alarmed about
our fast decisions to marry and move
from Tennessee to New York City. I
got a handwritten letter from an el-
der at church suggesting I wait to get
to know my fiancé better. His friends
held a tearful intervention. One of our
beloved professors questioned the
decision. My mother referred to my
fiancé not by his name—David—but
by the nickname “rank stranger.”
But we were in love. After refusing
premarital counseling (we didn’t need
it, we insisted), David and I got mar-
ried and moved to the Gramercy Park
neighborhood of Manhattan. We could
see the Empire State Building at night,

rd.com 111
Reader ’s Digest
if we craned our necks while sitting on
our creaky fire escape.
My life was as romantic as a love
song. Then, after one week of mar-
riage, the phone rang.
“May I speak to David?” asked a
sultry-voiced woman.
I handed my new husband the
phone, which he quickly hung up.
“Wrong number,” he said.
A few hours later, it rang again. An-
other woman. I dusted near the phone
so I could eavesdrop. Did my seem-
ingly loyal husband have a double life?
I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW
HIM. MAYBE OUR
RELATIONSHIP WAS
ALL A RUSE.
Another wrong number, he said.
The calls became more regular, at all
hours of the day and night. It got so
common, I was no longer surprised
when the breathy voices morphed
into sighs of disappointment.
He always got off the phone, exas-
perated. Or was it an act?
I took messages when he was out.
Desiree. Brandy. Jill. In some cases,
they were testy when I said he wasn’t
there. One woman started crying. “We
were together just yesterday.”
“Where?” I demanded.
“In SoHo,” she said. My husband
worked at a Midtown law firm during
the day, or so he told me. Had I made a
112 march 2021
terrible mistake? My friends were right;
I didn’t even know him. Maybe our re-
lationship was all a ruse. I’d heard sto-
ries of people getting married only to
realize their spouse had a double life.
“Are we talking about the same Da-
vid? Tall, blond?”
“And handsome,” she added sarcas-
tically. “Are you going to tell me I have
the wrong number? I’m looking at the
note he wrote me now.” She read the
number. It was ours.
I was confused and hurt. Instead
of hearing the female voices on the
phone, I heard only the unheeded
warnings of friends clanking in my
head.
“What’s really going on?” I finally
mustered the courage to confront my
husband. “Wrong numbers usually
don’t ask for you by name.”
But David was just as confounded
as I was. At least he appeared to be.
Finally, a man called.
“Sorry, he’s at work,” I said.
“All work should go through me,”
he spat. I wasn’t sure how law firms
allocated cases, but apparently David
was doing it wrong.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I’ve known David for years,” he shot
back. “The question is: Who are you?”
He had a point. I was the new addi-
tion. I wanted love so badly that I ig-
nored any inconvenient details—such
as barely knowing the man I married.
“I’m his wife.” The new label felt
heavy in my mouth.
Silence for a beat. Then two.

“Why didn’t he tell me about you?”
he exploded.
“It was spontaneous,” I said before
launching into a defense of getting
married quickly, but with less enthusi-
asm than I had before the calls started.
“I’ll be right over,” he said. “Don’t
talk to anyone. We have to fix this.”
“I am not a problem to be fixed!”
“Are you—” he paused and then
lowered his voice. “Pregnant? Expect-
ing a little David Lee? A kid will really
hurt our comeback.”
“Lee?” I asked. “My husband’s mid-
dle name is Austin. What comeback?”
“I know my own client’s middle
name.”
fin costello/getty images
“Client?” I asked. “I’m talking about
David French, the attorney.”
“I’m talking about David Lee Roth,
the singer.”
Even those who spent the 1980s try-
ing to figure out the Rubik’s Cube were
aware of David Lee Roth of Van Halen
Humor
fame. He had a mane of golden hair,
acrobatic stage moves made possible
by his brightly colored spandex. The
Platonic form of “rock star,” he was al-
ways surrounded by women.
My David wore glasses and suits
and sometimes dressed up for Star
Wars and Lord of the Rings premieres.
There’d been a big mix-up. Appar-
ently, the rock star had changed his
number right before we moved to
Manhattan but still gave out his old
number to women he met but wanted
to let down easily. That’s how—for a
brief period of time—we became Da-
vid Lee Roth’s answering service.
Later that year, we even fielded a
call from Roth’s dad.
Once we put this puzzle together,
the man on the other end of the phone
line—his agent, I realized—sighed in
relief. Soon, we were both laughing.
Neither of us had been betrayed.
But during the short time it took
for David Lee Roth to transition to a
new telephone number, I’d started to
doubt the man I married. How pre-
carious love is, I thought back then.
Surprisingly, it turned out to be
quite resilient. Over the years, I’ve
learned that our desire for others does
not mean we are an inconvenience or
a problem to be solved. As beautifully
described in the immortal words of
one of Van Halen’s hit songs, “You got
to roll with the punches and get to
what’s real.” RD
washingtonpost.com (december 30, 2019),
copyright © 2019 by nancy french.
rd.com 113
 THE
GENIUS
SECTION
9 Pages to sharpen
Your Mind

GO AHEAD,
DO NOTHING
We push ourselves to work harder, but taking a break
can often fuel a burst in productivity and creativity

By Jeffrey Davis
from psychologytoday.com

I
n 1910, the Los Angeles Times ran
a story about a boy who was
charged with opening a valve ev-
ery so often on a water pump pow-
ered by a steam engine to release
the built-up pressure. His whole job
consisted of staring at these whirring
pieces of metal all day. Needless to
say, the kid got incredibly bored. One
day, the supervisor walked in and the
boy was nowhere to be found. Yet
the pump ran just as it should. The
“lazy” boy had contrived a mecha-
nized release for the pump and won
his freedom from monotony. The first
iteration of the automatic steam en-
gine was born.
Now, this story may be apocry-
phal, but the boy’s behavior reflects
a deeper truth. When we are feeling
lazy and disinclined to do something,
we often search for an easier way to
do the undesirable task at hand. We
try to streamline the process and save
time and effort. In other words, lazi-
ness can drive innovation.
In recent years, some psychologists
and business leaders have wised up to
this insight, shifting our perspective of
what laziness really means. Strategic
idleness may actually be a power-
jonathan kirn/getty images
ful tool. Both Bill Gates and Walter
Chrysler have been credited (prob-
ably erroneously) with an apt quote:
“I always choose a lazy person to do
a hard job because a lazy person will
find an easy way to do it.”
Research shows that our brains are
wired for laziness. For our ancestors,
Reader ’s Digest
energy was a precious resource. Peo-
ple had to conserve energy to com-
pete for food, flee from predators, and
fight. Learning to calculate the caloric
costs and benefits of our actions was
critical to survival, and expending
energy on anything other than short-
term gains was risky. So we learned to
play it safe.
Now that day-to-day survival is less
of an issue, it seems natural that we
would opt for indolence, or inactivity,
but the opposite has occurred. Ac-
cording to the U.S. Bureau of Labor
Statistics, Americans sleep less and
work more than we used to; produc-
tivity per worker has gone up 400 per-
cent since 1950. Our culture teaches
by example that our worth depends
on how industrious we are, so we work
even harder to produce even more.
Until ten years ago, many psychologi-
cal studies emphasized high execu-
tive functioning—skills such as focus,
memory, and problem-solving—and
achieving goals as essential traits for
success and happiness. Meanwhile,
daydreaming and mind-wandering
were associated with unhappiness.
This judgment has an almost ancient
history. Long ago, many Christian
theologians derided sloth as a sin—
one of the seven deadly ones, in fact.
Idleness was declared a moral failing,
and its cure lay in hard work.
But there’s one big paradox: The
harder we work, the less productive
we are. “When demand in our lives in-
tensifies, we tend to hunker down and
rd.com | march 2021 115
Reader ’s Digest The Genius Section

push harder,” says Tony Schwartz, head
of the Energy Project, a productivity
consulting firm. “The trouble is that,
without any downtime to refresh and
recharge, we are less efficient, make
more mistakes, and get less engaged
with what we’re doing.” This forced
sustained focus leads to selective at-
tention, which can hinder your ability
to generate fresh solutions and ideas.
Even worse: Too caught up in the end
result, we overlook the quality of our
experience while working and living
and thus deprive our lives of meaning.
WE COULD DO
WITH A HEALTHY
DOSE OF DELIBERATE
DAYDREAMING.
Amid this epidemic of overwork,
how can we make our labor more
meaningful and our lives more ful-
filling? Perhaps we could do with
a healthy dose of deliberate day-
dreaming. Current research in psy-
chology and neuroscience points to
a new understanding of the value of
the wandering mind. Studies show
that taking breaks and allowing your
thoughts to drift can help your brain
retain information, refocus, gain fresh
perspective, and make new connec-
tions between ideas. Just think of the
“eureka moments” that occur when
we’re engaged in the most mundane
tasks, such as showering or doing the
dishes. One study out of the University
of British Columbia shows that mind
wandering increases activity in the
brain’s default mode network, or DMN,
a system of connected brain areas that
deals with problem solving and shows
increased activity when a person is not
focused on the outside world.
Here’s the core problem: When the
time finally comes to put our feet up,
we often don’t know how. We have lit-
tle training in how to be idle. Take away
a kid’s toys or a teen’s smartphone and
then tell them to entertain themselves.
They’ll likely be at a loss. But would
you fare much better? So maybe this
week, notice when you have some
downtime in your day, some white
space in your calendar. Instead of fill-
ing the space with more work or more
digital distractions, step back, recline, creativ studio heinemann/getty images
and be, in the words of poet Mary Oli-
ver, “idle and blessed.” RD
psychologytoday.com (november 28, 2019),
copyright © 2019 by jeffrey davis.

Going on a Fun Run

Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet.
It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.
charles m. schulz

116 march 2021 | rd.com

 Family Vacations

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Reader ’s Digest

BRAIN GAMES

Quick Crossword 1 2
easy All Girl Scout Cookies
fans have their favorite vari-
ety. Sadly, a few of these have 3
been discontinued—but they
still have a place in our grid.
4 5
THIN LEMONADE
MINT TAGALONG
SAMOA TREFOIL 6
MANGO ALOHA 7
CREME CHIP
8

emily goodman (quick crossword, allergy season). noun project ( 4 )

Allergy Season
medium Five friends (Allegra, Ben, Clara, Flora, and Zach) are each allergic to
something different: pollen, shellfish, bee stings, cats, or nuts. From the following
clues, can you figure out who is allergic to what?
✦ Allegra has a food allergy.
✦ Ben can play with his kitten for hours without issue (or medicine).
✦ Clara’s allergy is not related to animals.
✦ Flora has seasonal allergies.

118 march 2021

 The Genius Section

This, Not That

medium Marianne is a bit bizarre. She
likes only certain things. Can you figure
out why she likes what she does from
the following clues?
✦ She likes fries, but she doesn’t like chips.
emily goodman (this, not that). darren rigby (so happy together). fraser simpson (block letters). noun project ( 7 )

✦ She likes kisses, but not hugs.

✦ She likes manicures, but not spas.
✦ She likes toast, but not croutons.
✦ She likes bulldogs, but not beagles.

So Happy Together
easy You and a group of friends are about to be
seated in random order around a circular table.
The probability that your best friend will be sitting
next to you is equal to the probability that she
will not. How many people are in your group?

Block Letters
difficult Insert the letters A through
L, one per square, so that no two
J
alphabetically consecutive letters
are in squares that touch, not even
at a corner. Four letters have been
E H C
placed for you.

For more Brain Games, go to rd.com/crosswords.

For answers, turn to page 123.

rd.com 119
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 The Genius Section Reader ’s Digest

9. incandescent adj.
WORD POWER (in-ken-'deh-sunt)
a white-hot.
b candlelit.
c reflective.
After a long dark winter, we’re
ready to look on the bright side. 10. heliotropic adj.
Celebrate the first glimmer of spring (hee-lee-oh-'troh-pik)
a turning toward the sun.
with these words related to light. b tan.
Once you’ve had a chance to shine, c near the equator.
turn to the next page for answers.
11. diurnal adj.
(dy-'er-null)
a in a shaded area.
By Sarah Chassé b twice a day.
c active in daytime.

1. luminary n. 5. translucent adj. 12. fox fire n. (fox 'fy-er)

('loo-muh-nair-ee) (tranz-'loo-sunt) a controlled burn.
a heat lamp. a allowing light through. b glow from a fungus.
b brilliant person. b blocking light. c explosion in battle.
c film projector. c producing light.
13. filament n.
2. gloaming n. 6. scintillate v. ('fih-luh-ment)
('gloh-ming) ('sin-tuh-layt) a flickering ember.
a dawn. a polish until glossy. b wire in a light bulb.
b noon. b extinguish. c constellation.
c twilight. c give off sparks.
14. spectrum n.
3. refract v. 7. beacon n. ('spek-trum)
(rih-'frakt) ('bee-kin) a total eclipse.
a bend. a guiding light. b band of colors.
b scatter. b camera flash. c light transmitted
c dim. c sunbeam. by a cable wire.

4. parasol n. 8. sconce n. 15. effulgent adj.

('pair-uh-sawl) (skonss) (ih-'full-jent)
a glowworm. a unit of electricity. a flashing intermittently.
b sunshade. b light fixture. b fading to black.
c waxy glow. c firework launcher. c shining brilliantly.

rd.com | march 2021 121

Reader ’s Digest

Clock Talk
Yearning for brighter evenings? They’re almost here. Most of the
United States will “spring forward” an hour on March 14. First
championed in New Zealand and England, the practice of changing
the clocks twice a year debuted here during World War I, in part to
conserve coal. While some call this ritual daylight savings time, its
original (and correct) name is daylight saving time.

Word Power 6. scintillate (c) give a year, Anjali asked

off sparks. When the
ANSWERS campfire starts to
scintillate, we can settle
1. luminary (b) brilliant in for an evening of
person. Her photographic sing-alongs and stories.
memory has helped
Barbara become a 7. beacon (a) guiding
luminary in the world light. Bring a good
of bridge. beacon to set up at
your base camp.
2. gloaming (c) twilight.
As I walked in the gray 8. sconce (b) light fixture.
gloaming, I heard an owl Elijah looked at dozens
hooting in the distance. of sconces before settling
on ones he liked.
3. refract (a) bend.
The sunlight refracted 9. incandescent
through the prism in (a) white-hot. A glass-
the window, splashing blower can turn incan-
tiny rainbows on the descent liquid glass
walls. into a piece of art.
4. parasol (b) sunshade. 10. heliotropic (a)
In addition to wearing turning toward the sun.
to switch to a diurnal
schedule.
12. fox fire (b) glow
from a fungus. Certain
kinds of mushrooms
produce fox fire, an
eerie blue-green light.
13. filament (b) wire
in a light bulb. Thomas
Edison chose a type of
bamboo for his electric
light’s filament.
14. spectrum (b) band
of colors. Ellen Jean’s
beautiful paintings
use every hue in the
spectrum.
15. effulgent (c)
shining brilliantly. The
effulgent full moon
peter dazeley/getty images

SPF 50 daily, Lorraine Young sunflowers are hung high in the sky,
often carries a parasol. heliotropic, facing east illuminating the forest.
at dawn and following
5. translucent (a) allow- the light westward.
ing light through. Cook Vocabulary Ratings
the onions until they’re 11. diurnal (c) active 9 & below: flicker
translucent, removing in daytime. After working 10–12: blaze
them before they brown. the graveyard shift for 13–15: conflagration

122 march 2021

 The Genius Section

make
BRAIN GAMES us !
ANSWERS laugh
See page 118.

Quick Crossword
across
1. MANGO
3. TREFOIL
5. CHIP
6. LEMONADE
7. MINT
8. THIN
down
2. ALOHA
3. TAGALONG
4. SAMOA
5. CREME

Allergy Season
Allegra is allergic to
shellfish, Ben to bee Caption Contest
stings, Clara to nuts, What’s your clever description for this
Flora to pollen, and
Zach to cats.
picture? Submit your funniest line at
RD.COM/CAPTIONCONTEST. Winners will
This, Not That appear in a future Photo Finish (PAGE 124).
She likes only things that
are French (french fries,
French toast, etc.). Reader’s Digest (ISSN 0034-0375) (USPS 865-820), (CPM Agreement# 40031457), Vol. 197,
No. 1168, March 2021. © 2021. Published monthly, except bimonthly in July/August and
December/January (subject to change without notice), by Trusted Media Brands, Inc., 44 South
So Happy Together Broadway, White Plains, New York 10601. Periodicals postage paid at White Plains, New York,
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supersizer/getty images

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rd.com 123
Reader ’s Digest The Genius Section

PHOTO FINISH
Your Funniest captions

Winner
“In France, we would be the delicacy on the menu.”
—Jo Garcia Macon, Georgia

Runners-Up
anisah_priyadi/getty images

“OK, let me go over the rules of leapfrog again.”

—Jamie Schmidt Bismarck, North Dakota

“Next time, we take the rabbit.”

Mike Littlepage Portland, Oregon

To enter an upcoming caption contest, see the photo on page 123.

124 march 2021 | rd.com