Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Chronic Sorrow: The Experiences of Bereaved Individuals: Georgene G. Eakes Mary L. Burke Margaret A. Hainsworth
Chronic Sorrow: The Experiences of Bereaved Individuals: Georgene G. Eakes Mary L. Burke Margaret A. Hainsworth
Eakes et al.CRISIS
/ CHRONIC
& LOSS
SORROW
(April 1999)
This study investigated the occurrence of chronic sorrow among individuals who
experienced the death of a loved one. In-depth interviews were conducted with
fourteen parents who had experienced the death of a child, ten people who had suf-
fered the death of their spouses, and ten individuals who had had a family member
die. Interviews were transcribed and data were sorted into categories, with recur-
ring themes identified. Thirty-three (97 percent) of those interviewed evidenced
chronic sorrow. Confronting disparity with social norms and situations that
brought memories to mind most frequently triggered recurrence of grief-related
feelings. Subjects used action-oriented, cognitive, and interpersonal coping
strategies to deal with these episodes of grief. These findings bring into question
the expectation inherent in traditional grief theories that emotional closure is a
necessary outcome of the grieving process.
The term chronic sorrow was introduced into the literature in 1962 by
Olshansky, who coined the term to describe his observations of the
regrief associated with parenting a mentally retarded child. Olshansky
posited that the never-ending nature of some loss experiences belied
resolution of the grieving process. Thus, chronic sorrow was a normal
response to an abnormal situation, allowing for intervals of sadness to be
interspersed with periods of happiness and adjustment to the ongoing
loss situation.
Almost twenty years elapsed before any scientific investigation of the
concept was undertaken (Wickler, Wasow, and Hatfield 1981). Of late,
there has been a resurgence of interest in chronic sorrow. Since 1989,
172
Eakes et al. / CHRONIC SORROW 173
REVIEW OF LITERATURE
The first documented research on the concept of chronic sorrow
(Wickler, Waslow, and Hatfield 1981) found that grief among parents of
mentally handicapped children waxed and waned throughout the
child’s growth and development. This study not only offered support
for Olshansky’s (1962) clinical observations but also established the
foundation for future research. Subsequent research defined chronic
sorrow more specifically as pervasive sadness that is permanent, peri-
odic, and progressive in nature and provided evidence that chronic sor-
row is commonly experienced by parents of young children with diverse
mental and physical disabilities (Burke 1989; Clubb 1991; Damrosch and
Perry 1989; Fraley 1986, 1990; Golden 1994; Hummel and Eastman 1991;
Kratochvil and Devereux 1988; Mallow 1994; Phillips 1991; Seideman
and Kleine 1995).
Analyses of the concept of chronic sorrow (Lindgren et al. 1992; Teel
1991) helped to clarify the nature of chronic sorrow and articulated the
following defining characteristics:
1. A perception of sadness or sorrow over time in a situation with no predict-
able end.
2. Sadness or sorrow that is cyclic or recurrent.
3. Sadness or sorrow that is triggered internally or externally and brings to
mind the person’s losses, disappointments, or fear.
4. Sadness or sorrow that is progressive and can intensify. (Lindgren et al.
1992, 31)
METHOD
Three concurrent qualitative studies were conducted to determine if
chronic sorrow was evidenced in bereaved individuals. Convenience
samples were drawn from a compassionate friend’s organization, a mul-
tiple sclerosis society, and a hospice program. A representative of each
organization was approached by one of the researchers, and the nature
of the research explained. Names of individuals interested in
Eakes et al. / CHRONIC SORROW 175
SAMPLE
A total of thirty-four individuals participated in the bereavement
studies: fourteen parents, including two couples, who had experienced
the death of a child; ten persons whose spouses had died; and ten indi-
viduals who had experienced the death of a close family member (hus-
band, wife, grandparent, sibling) from a long-term illness. The sample
comprised twenty-nine (85 percent) women and five men (15 percent)
who ranged in age from thirty-three to sixty-six years, with a mean age
of fifty and one half years. Length of time since the death event ranged
from two years to more than twenty years, with the most in the two- to
five-year range. The majority of participants were Catholic (18/53 per-
cent), and the most frequently cited (12/35 percent) household income
category was more than $40,000 per year. Twenty-one (62 percent) of the
subjects indicated that the death event was sudden and unexpected; the
remaining thirteen (38 percent) described the death as expected.
FINDINGS
INCIDENCE
Ninety-seven percent of the bereaved individuals studied evidenced
chronic sorrow. All of the parents (fourteen) who had experienced the
death of a child, all (ten) of those whose spouse had died, and nine of the
ten people who had experienced the death of a close family member fol-
lowing a long-term illness evidenced chronic sorrow. The permanence
and pervasiveness characteristic of chronic sorrow in ongoing loss situa-
tions were also evidenced in bereaved individuals, as reflected in the
comments made by a mother who had experienced the death of her child
two decades prior to the interview:
It’s a continual process, and people who say it ends after whatever—two
years or a year—or that after the fist year you should be okay, that’s crazy!
It’s not a true adage. Time does change you, and you can adapt to change,
but for me it doesn’t heal the scar that’s left. Even after twenty years, you
still remember and it still hurts, and no matter what people tell you, this
will never go away.
“You think you are doing well, and then all of a sudden it hits you again. I
guess you have to get through that. Probably another couple of months
will be okay, and then something else happens.”
The words of a widower also echoed the periodic nature of the chronic
sorrow experience:
I feel as though I’ve come a long way, but all that means is these feelings
are fewer and further between. When I really stop and think I’m not with
her anymore and the kids don’t have their mom anymore, they come back.
TRIGGERS
When asked what triggered recurrence of the grief-related feelings,
subjects most often described circumstances and situations that
prompted recognition of a disparity with social norms (28/33) and situa-
tions that brought memories to mind (28/33). A woman whose mother
Eakes et al. / CHRONIC SORROW 177
had died two years earlier provided an example of disparity with social
norms. She noted that, unlike her peers, she no longer had her mother to
share things with and at times this realization precipitated a return of the
grief-related feelings:
I was in the habit of calling her [mother] three to four mornings every
week. I do not have that mother to call now. If something happens to me,
good or bad, I don’t have my mother to spiel it off to.
Well, I’ll tell you that today, Wednesday the 24th, is always a tough day for
me. He died on a Wednesday, and it was the 24th of January. Also, he was
born on the 24th so that’s not a good number for me.
COPING STRATEGIES
To explore coping strategies used to deal with the feelings associated
with chronic sorrow, subjects were asked, “What helps?” Responses
were categorized as action oriented (e.g., doing a favorite hobby), inter-
personal (e.g., talking with a trusted friend), cognitive (e.g.,
178 ILLNESS, CRISIS & LOSS (April 1999)
RECOMMENDATIONS TO
HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS
The researchers were interested in determining what individuals
with chronic sorrow perceived as helpful and not helpful to them as they
periodically revisited their grief. More specifically, they were asked
what recommendations they would make to health care professionals to
assist them as they periodically revisited the grief associated with the
death of a loved one. Responses were categorized as roles professionals
can assume in their contacts with clients.
Two roles emerged as most helpful to those experiencing chronic sor-
row subsequent to the death of a significant other. The majority of subjects
(18/33) described characteristics consistent with the role of empathetic
presence. These included taking time to listen, offering support and
reassurance, focusing on feelings, and appreciating the uniqueness of
the individual. The words of a widow emphasize the importance of this
professional role:
They [professionals] need to be aware that they can’t make it better, but
they can help by letting you talk and just listening. It doesn’t help when
Eakes et al. / CHRONIC SORROW 179
they say “I know what you’re going through” because nobody can possi-
bly know how I feel—nobody!
Also, behaviors consistent with the role of caring professional were cited
(14/33) as being helpful. Subjects noted that professionals’ sensitivity,
respectfulness, patience, and compassion were beneficial to them as
they coped with chronic sorrow; moreover, they cited follow-up contact
from professionals as helpful.
DISCUSSION/CONCLUSIONS
Overwhelmingly, individuals who had suffered the death of a loved
one evidenced chronic sorrow. Indeed, 97 percent of those interviewed
described periodic recurrence of grief-related feelings associated with
their loss experience. For these individuals, the void created by the death
of a significant other remained, at least to some extent, unfilled. When
situations or circumstances caused them to confront this gap between
“what was” and “what is,” chronic sorrow was experienced. These epi-
sodes were most commonly triggered by recognition of disparity with
social norms, that is, husbands without wives, wives without husbands,
parents without children, and children without parents. Memories,
often associated with anniversary events, also prompted resurgence of
the grief-related feelings in bereaved individuals. Characteristics of
chronic sorrow among bereaved individuals (permanence, pervasive-
ness, periodicity) mirrored those of affected individuals, family caregiv-
ers, and others involved in ongoing loss situations. Consistent with
other study findings (Eakes 1993; Hainsworth 1994, 1995; Hainsworth et
al. 1994), bereaved subjects most frequently used action and cognitive
coping strategies to deal with their feelings. The empathetic and caring
professional roles perceived as helpful were also consistent with those
identified by individuals involved in ongoing loss situations, either as
an affected individual or as a caregiver (Eakes et al. 1993).
Documenting chronic sorrow among individuals who had experi-
enced the death of a loved one marked an important change in the focus
of research on chronic sorrow. Heretofore, research on chronic sorrow
focused solely on those involved in ongoing loss situations, either as an
individual affected with a chronic or life-threatening illness or as a fam-
ily caregiver (Burke 1989, 1992, 1993; Clubb 1991; Damrosch and Perry
1989; Eakes 1993, 1995; Eakes et al. 1993; Fraley 1986, 1990; Golden 1994;
Hainsworth 1994, 1995; Hainsworth et al. 1993; Hainsworth, Eakes, and
Burke 1994; Hummel and Eastman 1991; Lindgren 1996; Mallow 1994;
Phillips 1991; Seideman and Kleine 1995; Wickler, Wasow, and Hatfield
1981).
180 ILLNESS, CRISIS & LOSS (April 1999)
REFERENCES
Burke, M. L. 1989. Chronic sorrow in mothers of school-age children with a mye-
lomeningocele disability. Doctoral dissertation, Boston University. Disserta-
tion Abstracts International 50:233B-234B.
———. 1992. An investigation of chronic sorrow in infertile couples. Unpub-
lished raw data.
———. 1993. An investigation of chronic sorrow among mothers caring for
adult children with multiple sclerosis. Unpublished raw data.
Burke, M. L., M. A. Hainsworth, G. G. Eakes, and C. L. Lindgren. 1992. Current
knowledge and research on chronic sorrow: A foundation for inquiry. Death
Studies 16:231-45.
Eakes et al. / CHRONIC SORROW 181
Mary L. Burke, D.N.Sc., R.N., received her Doctor of Nursing Science Degree in the
Family Studies Cognate from Boston University. She is a professor of nursing, pediatric
specialty, at Rhode Island College and a member of the Nursing Consortium for Research
on Chronic Sorrow. Dr. Burke has conducted four studies on chronic sorrow.
Margaret A. Hainsworth received her Ph.D. from the University of Connecticut in Edu-
cation Administration. She is a professor of nursing with a specialty in psychiatric-
mental health at Rhode Island College. Dr. Hainsworth has conducted four studies on
chronic sorrow.