Quotes, Ruminations &

Contemplations
Volume I

A random selection of quotes and commentary from Corey

Wayne’s articles and video coaching newsletters on pickup,
dating, relationships, success mindsets, self-reliance, personal
responsibility, philosophy, purpose, negotiation, health,
inspiration, high achievement, goal setting, time management,
career, entrepreneurship, wealth creation and sales.

Written and Narrated by

Corey Wayne

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 All rights reserved.
This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the publisher.

© 2021 by Corey Wayne

The Corey Wayne Companies, Inc.

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 HONOR

This book is dedicated to the American soldier. No matter whether the

cause is popular or not, I am in awe of the fact that when their country
calls them, they go, and they go willingly. They take our place on the
battlefield, risking everything they have, because it is part of who they
are. They are all my heroes, and I owe all of my success, happiness, and
opportunities to past, present, and future generations of their kind. May
God keep them safe and speed the day to us when their sacrifice is no
longer required, because humanity has learned that the real enemy is
hatred itself, and the way to real happiness is unconditional love. Until
that day comes, I take great pride and comfort in knowing they will
continue to stand up and show us what real honor and integrity is. I
dedicate my life to helping bring humanity closer together and always
giving my gifts to the world in hopes that I may honor all of their
collective sacrifices, so they are not in vain.

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 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank my mother who taught me to be so determined

and never give up, no matter what. I would also like to thank Tony
Robbins for being such a great leader and mentor in my life. I’d like to
thank my dad for teaching me the difference between right and wrong.
I am grateful for the close relationship we have today. I love you very
much.

To my Aunt Char and Uncle Richie, I love you both. I would also like
my brother Chris to know how proud I am to have you as my brother.
All you have gone through to achieve your dreams is inspiring to me. I
love you very much.

To my awesome team who keeps my business running, growing,

balanced, prosperous, stable and successful, thanks for being awesome
in everything you do to go above and beyond what is asked of you. I
couldn’t do it without you.

I would also like to express my gratitude to you, the reader. You are
embarking on a continuing journey that will change the world. By
becoming the best version of yourself that you are on the inside and
reaching your full potential, you unconsciously give permission to all
others around you to do the same. This will continue to impact society
for generations to come and start reducing the amount of people in

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society who are living lives of quiet desperation, mediocrity, and less
than they are capable of living.

Instead of a world where most people are simply existing and trying to
get through the work week, they will be replaced by a world where,
collectively, people are making it a better place, because they have
come alive on the inside by being in total alignment with their true
purpose and calling. Just imagine how much more awesome,
prosperous, happy, safe and exciting the world will be when high
achievers and visionaries like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Larry
Page, Sergey Brin, et al. are abundant and commonplace, instead of
unicorns and exceptions to the rule.

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 Table of Contents
Introduction .......................................................................... 1
Becoming Exceptional.......................................................... 3
Be Open To New Possibilities .................................................................... 3
When Men Lose Their Way ....................................................................... 5
Relationships & A Compelling Life ........................................................... 7
She Can Have Any Man, But Chose Me!................................................. 10
Having “The Talk” Or “What Are We?” ................................................. 13
Charm, Humor, Resistance & Attraction ................................................. 15
Dating Detective: Try Before You Buy.................................................... 17
Online Dating Secrets ............................................................................... 20
We Can’t Get Enough Of Each Other! ..................................................... 23
Losing Yourself & Becoming A Pleaser .................................................. 26
It’s Complicated ....................................................................................... 29
Be Her Rock, Her Mountain ..................................................................... 32
Ex is Cold, Distant & Sending Mixed Signals ......................................... 34
A Compelling Vision For Your Life ........................................................ 36

How To Show Up ............................................................... 39

See Yourself As A High-Value Person .................................................... 39
Master Who You Are First ....................................................................... 41
Be Her Lover, Not Her Butler .................................................................. 43
All Of Life Is A Negotiation .................................................................... 45
Talking Her Out Of Dating You ............................................................... 47
The Power Of Walking Away .................................................................. 50
Lead With Humor, Charm, & Decisiveness ............................................. 52

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 Sex Playmates ........................................................................................... 56
Dating: Eliminating Your Competition .................................................... 58
She Blew Me Off Pretty Badly ................................................................. 60
Seek To Give Love, Not Possess .............................................................. 62
You Must Be Free .................................................................................... 65
My Girl Left Me A Few Times ................................................................ 67
Premarital Sex .......................................................................................... 69
Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words ............................................ 71

Working On Yourself ......................................................... 73

I Feel Like I’m Worthless......................................................................... 73
The Balanced, Centered & Successful Man ............................................. 75
The Art Of Having Fun ............................................................................ 78
I Brought Back My Alpha ........................................................................ 81
Be The King Of Your Kingdom ............................................................... 83
Love Yourself First................................................................................... 85
Creating A Drama-Free Social Life ......................................................... 88
The Person I Used To Be.......................................................................... 91
Are You Open To Dating? ....................................................................... 94
She Wasn’t Interested ............................................................................... 96
I Don’t Know Myself Anymore ............................................................... 98
Are You Co-Dependent? ........................................................................ 100
I Feel Like I’m Dying Inside! ................................................................. 102
Is She Playing Me? ................................................................................. 105
He’s No Longer A Spineless Pleaser...................................................... 107

Healthy Boundaries .......................................................... 109

Never Compromise Your Principles ...................................................... 109

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 Women Love Me For Who I Am ........................................................... 111
Choosing The Wrong Person.................................................................. 116
Dating A Married Woman ...................................................................... 118
My Feminist Man-Hating Girlfriend ...................................................... 120
Dating Women Whose Exes Want Them Back ..................................... 123
She Flirts With Other Guys .................................................................... 126
The Player Vs. Mr. Right ....................................................................... 128
Is She Testing, Or Wasting My Time? ................................................... 131
What Does She Want from Me? ............................................................. 133
Difficult & Toxic Women ...................................................................... 136
Freedom, Jealousy, Love, Respect & Trust ............................................ 140
Pickup, Dating, Relationships & Sex ..................................................... 142
There’s No Chemistry & No Spark ........................................................ 146
Success Breeds Haters ............................................................................ 148

The Power Of Confidence ................................................ 150

It’s All About Confidence ...................................................................... 150
Inner Game & Sexual Attraction ............................................................ 153
Constant Rejection Erodes My Confidence ........................................... 155
The 38 Best Secrets Of Success ............................................................. 159
Treat Women Like Equals, Not Celebrities ........................................... 162
Ways To Build Your Confidence ........................................................... 164
Reclaiming Your Masculinity ................................................................ 167
Does Size Really Matter? ....................................................................... 169
Why You Don’t Get 2nd Dates .............................................................. 172
Master Seducer ....................................................................................... 175
I Felt Privileged Being There ................................................................. 177

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 Once She Forms An Opinion Of You .................................................... 180
Trouble Maintaining Confidence ........................................................... 184
The Top Reasons Why Men Get Rejected ............................................. 187
Bad Dating Advice ................................................................................. 190

Hardships & Setbacks....................................................... 192

I Feel Like A Total Loser! ...................................................................... 192
The Purpose For Your Failures .............................................................. 194
Staring Into The Abyss Of Death ........................................................... 197
Complacency: I Thought I Could Just Coast .......................................... 200
Rejection: The Sooner, The Better ......................................................... 204
Dealing With Sudden Death ................................................................... 207
When Life Feels Hopeless ...................................................................... 211
Leave with Dignity, Or Stay & Fight? ................................................... 215
Best Friend Or A Snake? ........................................................................ 217
Do I Have Commitment Issues? ............................................................. 220
Devious Liars & Master Manipulators ................................................... 223
Relationships Without Attachments ....................................................... 226
Our Stories That Hold Us Back .............................................................. 229
Unexpected Dating & Relationship Curveballs ..................................... 231
Personal Responsibility & Accountability ............................................. 233

Taking Action ................................................................... 237

Changing Your Story Is Life Changing.................................................. 237
Being Centered Vs. Diminished ............................................................. 240
Free At Last! ........................................................................................... 242
You’re Not Broken ................................................................................. 244
Becoming A Better Man ......................................................................... 246

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 The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Me ...................................................... 249
Don’t Waste Your Time ......................................................................... 253
Money, Women, Work & Sexual Desire................................................ 255
OMG! She’s Wearing Me Out In Bed! .................................................. 258
Weak Men .............................................................................................. 261
Scarcity Vs. Unlimited Resources .......................................................... 263
Having Multiple Romantic Options ....................................................... 265
Why You Do What You Do ................................................................... 268
Why Is My Life Not Working? .............................................................. 272
The Waiting Game ................................................................................. 276

The Art Of Attraction ....................................................... 278

Attraction & Successfully Setting Dates ................................................ 278
Being Chased Prevents Rejection ........................................................... 280
Turning A Friend Into A Lover .............................................................. 283
Dating Is Like Tennis ............................................................................. 288
Attraction Triggers & Turn-Offs ............................................................ 291
Friends With Benefits ............................................................................. 294
Attraction: Success Vs. Failure .............................................................. 297
Things Are Moving Too Fast ................................................................. 299
Attraction Doesn’t Guarantee Chemistry ............................................... 301
Why Don’t I Hear From You?................................................................ 303
Alcohol: Liquid Courage Or Attraction Killer? ..................................... 306
The Second Date..................................................................................... 308
Re-Attraction Using The No Contact Rule ............................................ 310
Clueless Horny Guy ............................................................................... 312
Long Distance Romance......................................................................... 314

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Passion & Purpose ............................................................ 317
Passion, Purpose, And Perseverance ...................................................... 317
Discovering What Really Drives You .................................................... 319
Success Is Making Progress ................................................................... 323
Dating, Relationships & Societal Conditioning ..................................... 326
Red Flags ................................................................................................ 329
Doing What’s Right for You .................................................................. 331
I Hate My Life ........................................................................................ 333
Practice What You Enjoy ....................................................................... 336
How to Become An Alpha Male ............................................................ 338
You’re Fired! .......................................................................................... 340
What Are You Passionate About? .......................................................... 343
Instant Dates That Can Lead To Sex ...................................................... 346
A Life Of Balance And Purpose ............................................................. 348
Why Women Prefer Alpha Males .......................................................... 350
A Man’s Purpose .................................................................................... 352

High Achievement ............................................................ 354

Being Alpha ............................................................................................ 354
Job, Career, Business & Entrepreneurship 101 ...................................... 359
You Can Accomplish Anything ............................................................. 362
Moderation Is For Cowards .................................................................... 365
Time To Put Your Big Boy Pants On ..................................................... 367
Why You Struggle To Make Money ...................................................... 370
Do The Best With What You Have ........................................................ 373
The Key To Personal Peak Performance ................................................ 375
A Man Handles His Business ................................................................. 378

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 Alpha Vs. Beta Mindset ......................................................................... 380
Moving At Two Speeds: Slow & Stop ................................................... 382
Effortless Natural Attraction .................................................................. 384
25 Reasons Why Donald Trump Won.................................................... 387
Women Prefer Alpha Males ................................................................... 391
The Long Road To Self Mastery ............................................................ 393

Raising Your Standards .................................................... 396

Heaven On Earth .................................................................................... 396
With Women... Patience Pays! ............................................................... 399
Do You Really Want A Girlfriend?........................................................ 402
Women You Should Avoid .................................................................... 406
She Felt I Did Not Really Care............................................................... 409
Am I A Possible Replacement? .............................................................. 413
Butt-Hurt And Offended......................................................................... 416
Trust Your Feelings ................................................................................ 418
Similar Goals & Values .......................................................................... 420
Stupid Things Guys Do For Love .......................................................... 424
Do I Still Have A Chance? ..................................................................... 427
Non-Action Spiritual Attraction ............................................................. 430
Relationship Attachments That Cause Suffering ................................... 432
I Realized I Could Do Better .................................................................. 435
Women Are Competitive For Men ......................................................... 437

Facing Your Fears ............................................................ 439

Fear Of The Future ................................................................................. 439
Am I Wasting Time Holding On? .......................................................... 441
Presupposing That Failure Is Inevitable ................................................. 443

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 The Illusion Of Strength ......................................................................... 445
Neediness, Insecurity & Scarcity ........................................................... 447
Impatience Never Commands Success ................................................... 449
Control Freaks & Abusive Men ............................................................. 452
Be Bold & Take Risks Without Fear ...................................................... 454
I Changed Myself For Her ...................................................................... 457
Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Lose .......................................... 459
We Got Naked & She Laughed At My Size........................................... 461
I Can’t Believe I’m Dating Her! ............................................................. 463
Love Takes Time .................................................................................... 465
10 Years With Stupid Husband .............................................................. 469
Acting Too Serious Too Soon ................................................................ 471

Choosing Wisely .............................................................. 474

Be A Priority, Not An Option................................................................. 474
Rebound Relationships ........................................................................... 476
Dating A Prostitute ................................................................................. 478
Dating Insecure & Needy People ........................................................... 480
Prequalify Your Lovers .......................................................................... 483
Suddenly, She Became Interested In Me Again!.................................... 487
Relationships That Come from Cheating ............................................... 489
Attraction: An Emotional Affair ............................................................ 492
Is She Relationship Material? ................................................................. 494
Being the Rebound Lover ....................................................................... 497
Am I Going To Like Her? ...................................................................... 500
She Blocked Me ..................................................................................... 502
From Hot Sex To Flakey Behavior ........................................................ 504
I Recently Met “The One” ...................................................................... 507

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 Projecting Your Dating Fantasy ............................................................. 510

Effortless Relationships .................................................... 513

Women Who Make It Easy .................................................................... 513
A Real Macho Man ................................................................................ 515
Quality Time Vs. Neediness ................................................................... 517
Women Can Spot Game Playing ............................................................ 519
How to Make Women Chase You .......................................................... 521
Sex Before Marriage............................................................................... 523
Attachments To Sex Vs. Authentic Giving ............................................ 526
Wanting What You Can’t Have ............................................................. 529
Not Ready For A Serious Relationship .................................................. 531
If You Stop Dating Your Woman... ....................................................... 533
Relationship Choices .............................................................................. 537
Long Distance Turning Into More .......................................................... 542
The Kiss Test .......................................................................................... 544
If We Get Back Together ....................................................................... 546
10 Reasons Why Women Chase More ................................................... 550

An Abundance Mindset .................................................... 553

I Have Value! I Am Amazing! ............................................................... 553
The Art Of Flirting And Creating Attraction ......................................... 556
From Beta Male Into Alpha Male .......................................................... 558
Why You’re Not A Priority .................................................................... 560
Advantages Of Dating Multiple Women ................................................ 563
It’s Your Vibe, Not Your Looks............................................................. 566
Picking Up Girls On Vacation ................................................................ 569
Easy & Effortless Pick-Up ..................................................................... 571

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 She’s Falling In Love With Me! ............................................................. 573
I Was A Cold Fish & Lost Her ............................................................... 575
Why She Jerks You Around ................................................................... 578
Having Multiple Romantic Options ....................................................... 580
I Never Wanted It Too Much ................................................................. 582
Masculine Alpha Presence ..................................................................... 584
Career Issues ........................................................................................... 587

Self-Reliance .................................................................... 590

Wise Words From Wise People ............................................................. 590
Self-Doubt & Self-Reliance ................................................................... 593
Unlearn What You Have Learned .......................................................... 598
Consistency & Self Discipline................................................................ 601
The Ugly Truth About Self Help ............................................................ 604
Success Is Your Birthright...................................................................... 606
Do The Right Thing................................................................................ 608
Approval-Seeking Beta Male ................................................................. 610
Broken Dates, Doubts & Inconsistencies ............................................... 612
A Clean Slate .......................................................................................... 614
38 Ways To Improve Your Emotional Health ....................................... 618
Days Of Being Super-Hot Are Gone Forever ........................................ 621
How To Make The World’s Best Salad ................................................. 624
Relationships: Be Happy With You First ............................................... 626
Mastering The Art Of Letting Go ........................................................... 628

A Life Of Ease & Delight ................................................. 631

Living & Dating In The Present Moment............................................... 631
Always Be Positive, Playful & Charming .............................................. 634

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 Rebuilding Attraction, Love, Romance & Intimacy .............................. 636
Success Is Facilitated By Quality Peers ................................................. 638
Good Women.......................................................................................... 641
Soul Mates & 2nd Chances .................................................................... 643
I Want To Win Her Back! ...................................................................... 645
Alpha Female.......................................................................................... 648
The True Me ........................................................................................... 650

Coaching Services ............................................................ 653

Closing Credits ................................................................. 654
Bonus ................................................................................ 655
A Wake-Up Call to Yourself .................................................................. 655

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xviii
 Introduction
For many years, my readers, listeners and viewers have been asking me
to write a book of quotes that is a compilation of the self-help quotes I
have written for my website articles and video coaching newsletters. I
didn’t want to just do a book of quotes and me reading them for the
audio book. So, what I’ve tried to do is create a useful blend of me
reading the quotes like I do on camera at the beginning of my video
coaching newsletters and add freestyle ruminations and contemplations
in a stream of consciousness style format that my viewers and listeners
have told me they really love about my delivery and style.

This book is a random selection of quotes and commentary from my

articles and video coaching newsletters on pickup, dating, relationships,
success mindsets, self-reliance, personal responsibility, philosophy,
purpose, negotiation, health, inspiration, high achievement, goal
setting, time management, career, entrepreneurship, wealth creation
and sales.

My intent with this book is to create a useful learning and inspirational

tool that you can listen to or read in the gym, car, home, office or leisure
activity to help you implement and master the self-reliance concepts
taught in my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, Winning The Heart Of
The Woman Of Your Dreams, and my second book, Mastering Yourself,
How To Align Your Life With Your True Calling And Reach Your Full
Potential. I hope that you find it useful, insightful, enlightening and

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inspiring and come back to it over and over to read and/or listen to it
10-15 times like all of my most successful students do to get the best
results.

Great success comes from being a great student and applying what you
learn on a daily basis in order to try and get a little better each and every
day. Most importantly, try to find a way to have fun while you are
working to create the life and lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of.

I have also included the original article titles from each quote, so you
can use a search engine to find and read the original articles and watch
any related videos. My assistants have also added a QR code for each
article to make navigation from the print and digital versions to my
website, UnderstandingRelationships.com, quick and easy.

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 Becoming Exceptional

Be Open To New Possibilities

“A great positive affirmation to use when you want to make changes in

your life is to say to yourself, “Wouldn’t be nice if…” and fill in the
end of that sentence with whatever positive outcome you would like to
achieve. This will help your brain focus on, expand and look for people
and circumstances that match your positive affirmation. This is a
superior approach to telling yourself an affirmation that your brain
knows is a lie such as, “I am rich!” when you are broke, or “I have a
beautiful girlfriend!” when you are single, etc. These instead become,
“Wouldn’t be nice if I eventually became rich?” or “Wouldn’t be nice
if I met a beautiful woman who would be happy to become my
girlfriend?” Your brain can agree with these statements and would
focus on seeking and searching for the right people, circumstances and
actions to take to make them a reality.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is a subtle mindset change, because there's a lot of people in the

self-help industry that talk about positive thinking, and so you want to
make statements that your brain can agree with, because that helps your
brain come up with answers. But if you're filling your brain with a
bunch of things that are simply not true, your brain’s not going to really
be searching for answers and circumstances and things to make that
vision a reality in your life. And so, it helps you to use your imagination

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and to come up with a vision, and then take actions and look for things
that are aligned with that purpose and that vision that you have for
yourself.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/be-open-to-new-
possibilities/21378

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When Men Lose Their Way

“A man without a purpose and mission to pursue in life is like a ship

without a rudder. In order to get to your destination, you have to have
an emotionally compelling vision to pursue in life. If you are not
pursuing something you love, whatever it is that you are doing, you’re
not going to be very good at it. Without a passion and purpose, a man
cannot feel fully alive and like a man is supposed to feel. This will
negatively affect his friendships, intimate relationships, his ability to
earn money, his health and his ability to enjoy and find fulfillment in
his life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is something that is absolutely paramount to a man; that he’s got

to have something that causes him to get up early in the morning and
keeps him up late at night, having something emotionally compelling,
instead of just going to a job every day that you think sucks and that
you hate, and just pays the bills. Even if you're working for somebody
else doing something you don't like, you should have some kind of side
hustle that you're working on, whether you're going to school part-time,
or you're learning something part-time or you're trying to grow your
reserve of knowledge, your gifts, your skills and develop your talents.

Because if you're getting up every day, and you're really happy, you’re
really excited, when you love something and you're passionate about it,
you're simply going to work way harder than you would when you're
just doing something for money because it pays the bills. If you're doing
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something that's exciting and compelling, and your life's work fills you
with joy, you’re going to smile more, you’re going to be happier, and
women are going to notice this and cause them to feel more attracted to
you. And also, this is leadership energy. Because everybody likes being
around somebody that's happy and alive because it just makes them feel
good, and so you're going to attract friends and people into your life
who are going to want to be around you to help nurture and support and
follow your mission and vision in life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/when-men-lose-their-
way/14399

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Relationships & A Compelling Life

“All men and women should have a purpose and mission to pursue and
believe in. Something that is so emotionally compelling to them, that
living without it feels like living a life that is less than what they are
capable of living. When you create a great life for yourself full of great
friends, a great lifestyle and a compelling and meaningful mission and
purpose, you become a complete, whole, well-rounded and content
person. By being at your best personally and having a complete life,
you put yourself in a vibrational state that is most conducive to creating
and maintaining great relationships of all kinds. Happy and fulfilled
people are the most fun to be around for a reason. If you are not
presently happy and fulfilled, then endeavor to do the work necessary
to build a life and social circle you would be proud of, and who others
would want to be a part of.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

When you spend your time working on, focusing, obsessing, and being
totally immersed in things that are happy, and exciting, and compelling
to you, you’re going to smile more, you’re going to be more inclined to
eat healthy foods, you’re going to be more inclined to hang out with
other happy people and avoid the toxic people, and you're going to do
the work that's necessary to not only build a great social circle, but a
great social life. In other words, sometimes, what I see in my phone
sessions with clients is that often—I’ll give an example, I've had clients
that kind of live out in the country and they’ve got maybe ten neighbors

7
within a five-mile radius; that's great if you enjoy a peaceful life, but
it's not so great if you're single and you're trying to date and meet new
people.

And so, what I oftentimes suggest to the people that are able to live
wherever they want is think about getting some kind of a bachelor pad,
or efficiency, or some kind of small apartment in the city where there’s
activity, where there's lots of restaurants, maybe there's lots of bars,
there’s lots of social things that you can do, so when you're not working
at something you love and enjoy, you can be out mingling and having
a good time in an area that just has lots of great activities. And you can
invite your friends there, because again, when you're having fun with
your friends, you're putting off the vibe of leadership energy, you’re
going to smile more, you’re going to laugh more, you’re going to be
more outgoing, you’re going to feel better about yourself, and women
are going to notice this, and they’re going to be drawn to you like moths
to a light bulb.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/relationships-a-
compelling-life/17045

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She Can Have Any Man, But Chose Me!

“Attraction is based upon mutual respect and admiration, especially

having self-respect and valuing yourself. People who value and respect
themselves demand that other people treat them with respect and
appreciation and won’t tolerate anything less than what they know they
deserve. When you allow other people to walk all over you and you
don’t stand up for yourself, you will cause others to not treat you with
respect because you don’t respect yourself. You’re literally inviting
others to treat you with disrespect and place a low value on your
presence. People who love and value themselves are repulsed and will
walk away from people, circumstances, and situations where they’re
not getting the respect and appreciation that they deserve. Being able to
walk away forever, not look back, and mean it is always the strongest
and most powerful negotiating position to take in order get what you
want in life. You don’t get what you deserve, only what you negotiate.”
~ Coach Corey Wayne

Being able to walk away and mean it is the most powerful position to
be in from a negotiating perspective. And when somebody, or someone,
or some organization is not willing to give you the terms that you want,
you have to be willing to walk away. Because even if they let you go
forever, at least you'll have their respect, because you stated your truth,
you’re living your truth, and you're moving on and you’re continuing
to circulate to find what it is that you want. Because if you love yourself

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and you value yourself, you know that somewhere, someday, somehow,
eventually, you're going to encounter the right people and the right
circumstances and the perfect deal, the perfect friend, the perfect lover,
the perfect set of clients are going to come along.

That's why it's so important to notice the results you're getting in life,
and if you're not getting the results that you want, you need to change
your approach. And if that new approach eventually is not working,
what do you do? You change your approach again. And if that doesn't
work, you change your approach again after that. If you think about it,
it's like a plane that's on autopilot. When the plane takes off to go to its
destination and it’s put on autopilot, it doesn't fly in a perfect, straight
line there. The plane is actually off course 95% or more of the time,
because you have different winds and things that are blowing it off
course all the time. So, the plane is constantly turning left, turning right,
going up, going down based upon the winds and the currents, and the
planes in the sky until eventually the plane lands right on the runway,
right on a dime and gets to its destination, even though almost the whole
entire flight it was completely off course.

And that's how we need to live our lives. We need to think of our lives
as kind of like an airplane on autopilot. We know our outcome, we
know our destination, we know where we want to go and where we end
up, and so we need to measure the results that we’re getting and make
adjustments and change our approach along the way until, ultimately,
we get to our destination.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/she-can-have-any-
man-but-chose-me/17479

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Having “The Talk” Or “What Are We?”

“A man’s mission and purpose must be his first priority in life.

Something that is compelling that he is trying to create or accomplish
that takes ambition, hard work, perseverance and passion. This is what
makes a man masculine and attractive to women. Without it, a woman
will not trust his masculine core enough to relax, submit willingly and
follow his lead. It’s a sense of duty that compels a man to go off to war
when his woman wants him to stay. A man does what he must without
exception. A woman in love wants a man’s attention all the time. A
woman with low romantic interest will make little to no effort to get a
man’s attention. A man who is focused on his mission and purpose in
life doesn’t have to earn a woman’s attention. She gives it to him
without asking, because she loves, values and respects him for being a
real man.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, a big part of what makes a man a man is his purpose, his mission in
life. Masculine energy is about purpose, drive, mission, succeeding,
accomplishing, overcoming barriers, breaking through challenges. This
is what makes a man a man, and a man who doesn't have his purpose in
order, doesn't know what he wants, and doesn't have an emotionally
compelling reason why he wants it is like a ship without a rudder. It’s
like having no direction in life. This is why feminine women are drawn
to masculine men and their leadership—so they can become his biggest

13
fan, his greatest cheerleader, and celebrate his victories and his wins in
life.

A man who doesn't have that in order is simply not behaving like a man
is supposed to behave, and without it, he's not going to be able to create
attraction and maintain attraction in his woman, because she won't
respect him, and a woman who doesn't respect a man can never love
him. That's why this is so paramount and so important that a guy has to
take care of his mission and purpose first and foremost in life and get
that in order before he starts getting involved in dating and relationships
if he wants to make sure they're able to go the distance with the woman.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/having-the-talk-or-
what-are-we/36617

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Charm, Humor, Resistance & Attraction

“A man must do what pleases him. He must follow his own path, heart
and desires. He must resist the urge to be submissive, compliant, change
his opinions or plans, and not go along with things he really does not
want to go along with in order to please, or seek the approval of a
woman he desires. When a man acts submissive, compliant and does
not stand up for himself and what he wants, it is disgusting to women.
Why? Women want men who have a purpose and mission other than
the women in their lives. Not an ass-kissing, wussy-like pleaser who
acts like a little boy waiting for instructions from his mommy.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

This is a big complaint I see from women about guys, and again, this
has become part of the feminist culture—the guy's got to be extra nice,
he's got to be compliant, he's got to be extra respectful. What happens
in these situations is, because the guy, again, is seeking a woman's
approval, he figures if he goes along with everything she wants and
does everything she asks him to that she's going to love him. Women
don't want a guy that's a blank slate. They want a guy who knows who
he is, what he wants, and why he wants it so they can trust his masculine
core and follow his leadership.

A guy that doesn't do this—a guy that acts submissive, a guy that lets a
woman get away with showing up late, canceling plans at the last

15
minute, jerking him around, getting him to cancel plans with his friends
or his family, because she says she wants to spend time—these are the
little subtle tests of a man's strength, that if you constantly are trying to
bend yourself into a pretzel to please her, she's going to lose respect for
you, and women will not love a guy they can't respect.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/charm-humor-
resistance-attraction/16845

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Dating Detective: Try Before You Buy

“A pretty face and a beautiful body should not be the only criteria to
consider when determining a potential lover’s suitability, compatibility
or integrity level. You should look at dating as being like test-driving a
used car. Just because someone looks good on the outside, does not
mean they aren’t a total disaster on the inside. Most people put more
thought into buying a car than they do when choosing a romantic
partner. People can hide who they really are for the first 90 days of a
new relationship. Make your decisions based upon who people show
and reveal themselves to be by examining their actions, not their
promises or potential. Until potential new lovers prove themselves
through their actions over time, you should keep them on dating
probation and remain objective.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is really important. Guys that are new to my work oftentimes come
to me and they think, “I've met the perfect girl.” Now, what's really
going on is they got hypnotized by her beauty, her boobs, her nice butt,
her nice smile, and they project their fantasy of what they want onto the
woman, and then objectivity goes right out the window. And
oftentimes, what happens is this exposes your blind spots. I believe that
everything happens for a reason, and therefore if you’ve got a blind spot
in your dating life or your professional life, somebody or some
organization is going to show up to reveal that blind spot to you. And

17
you're going end up experiencing pain if you don't take the time and be
logical about it.

Again, the other person needs to be on probation just like you're on

probation to them. Just because she's beautiful doesn't mean that she
comes from a totally good family. Oftentimes, and you’ve probably
heard this before, many of the hottest women also tend to be the craziest
and the most messed up, especially if they had a bad or nonexistent
relationship with their father. And because of that, they never learned
balance. They can oftentimes become somewhat narcissistic, because
everybody has been kissing their ass since they were little girls, and
they get away with being rude, and mean, and disrespectful and selfish,
because we’re in a society that surrounds us with men who don't know
any better and constantly kiss her ass. And you have to have healthy
boundaries in all relationships.

You’ve got to set healthy boundaries, and you’ve got to hold other
people accountable to them, because a danger happens. You get a
month or two down the road, and you allow your emotions to get the
best of you, and now you're in La-La Land, you're totally in love, and
then you completely miss all the red flags. You ignore the fact that she's
cheated, or been cheated on by most guys that she's dated, and you just
think, “I'm a great guy, I'm going to be different. This is my dream
woman; she would never do those kinds of things to me.” And when I
do phone sessions guys, this is what I often see, is they give a beautiful
woman way more credit than she deserves. And then they get six
months or a year down the road, and this girl’s hell on wheels, and she
makes their life a nightmare.

18
And people typically don't change who they are. They may become a
better version of themselves, but if you're dating a messed-up woman,
it's not your job to fix her, or save her, or to turn her into what you want.
It's better to find a girl who comes from a good family, who has got a
good relationship with her mom, and especially her dad, and her parents
have a happy relationship. That kind of woman learns balance and the
right way to be. She learns how to trust men and which men are
trustworthy.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-detective-try-
before-you-buy/23842

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Online Dating Secrets

“Alpha males are direct, decisive and get to the point. They know what
they want and why they want it. They don’t hesitate, but take action
when opportunities present themselves, either in their personal or their
professional lives. As the old saying goes, you will miss 100% of the
pitches that you don’t take a swing at. Success in life is mostly due to
showing up and taking action. Losers hesitate, dither and second-guess
themselves. Winners take action in spite of their fears and even when
success seems unlikely. Give yourself permission to fail, because the
reality is that most of your attempts at anything in life will result in
failure most of the time. However, failure is the greatest teacher of all,
because it teaches you what doesn’t work and forces you in a new
direction and to try something else. Failure is a necessary prerequisite
to success.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, what separates the winners from the losers in life is winners are
going to take action no matter what. They figure eventually, someday,
some way, with enough time, repetition, refinement of your approach,
learning from your mistakes, and trying new approaches, eventually
you're going to grow your reserve of knowledge, you’re going to
develop your skills, your gifts and your talents to become really
proficient at something. It's been said that it takes 10,000 hours to
become really great at something. And this is why it's so important to
focus on doing things and becoming good at things you're really excited

20
about, things that are emotionally compelling, things that you look
forward to.

And the reality is, just like the quote says, most of your attempts—even
if you're in sales, I’ll give you an example—when it comes to direct
response marketing, (whether it's an ad on television, or on a YouTube
channel, or a different social media, or your website, or in the
newspaper, or direct mail), if you're putting out an advertising invitation
for business or people to respond to you some way, ideally you're going
to expect one to potentially, on the high side, three percent of those
potential prospects are going to convert. So, in other words, you have
to get used to failing, and you have to recognize that almost all of your
attempts are going to fail. Especially when you look at major league
baseball. People that have a really high batting average, they’re failing
most of the time to get a hit or to get on base. That's just the reality of
it.

So, failure is not a bad thing, failure is actually a good thing. It's like
Thomas Edison when he was in the process of trying to figure out how
to make the lightbulb work, and he had several thousand failures under
his belt, and somebody asked him, “How can you continue on? All
you've done is fail, you have no success.” But his mindset was different.
He looked at it and said “No, you don't understand. I found several
thousand things that will not work, so I'm actually closer to finding
something that will work.”

So, whether it's online dating, or meeting women in person, or you’re

prospecting for a new job, you need to go through a lot of prospects to
21
give yourself plenty of choices and plenty of options. That's how you
eventually succeed. You persist without exception; you persist until you
succeed and get what you want. And you’ve got to remember, most
great successes are at least 10 years in the making. And typically, about
15 years before they really become great and everybody finds out about
them.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/online-dating-
secrets/35793

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We Can’t Get Enough Of Each Other!

“Being successful is a direct result of taking action towards the things

you want in life. If you keep doing what you have always done, you
will continue to get what you’ve always got. Since most people are run
by their fears, instead of using their fears as motivators, they close
themselves off from doing anything different, and therefore never come
close to reaching their full potential. Successful people realize when
their approach is flawed or not working, and simply seek to acquire new
knowledge, techniques, skills and strategies from those who are already
getting the results that they want. They apply what they learn and
eventually get the same results. When you realize your efforts are not
getting you what you really want, model what other successful people
are doing that you are not, apply it, and you’ll get the same results.
Don’t try to reinvent the wheel when you are surrounded by a sea of
other successful people you can model.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This goes back to something that, I believe it was Aristotle that said,
that people basically will do more to avoid pain than they’ll do to gain
pleasure. And so, by learning to think differently, learning to look at
things differently; in other words, you have a vision of where you want
to end up someday—all of those beautiful things that you want to
experience and all those emotions that come along with those things—
that's the fuel that gets you to move past those things you fear and that
most people typically move away from.

23
Because the reality is, when you actually experience or do something
that you're terrified of, or afraid of, or that you doubt that it will work
out, when you actually do that, your experience of that is always much
more pleasant than your fear of it. In other words, you were avoiding it
before because of what you thought was going to happen, but when you
just put your head down and take action, you start moving towards the
things that you want, and then you get lost in the process of taking
action and focusing on that. Just like Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction
breeds fear and doubt, and taking action breeds confidence and
courage.”

And the quickest way to get to where you want to be in life is you’ve
got to find people who are living the life that you want—who have that
dream job that you want, or that dream company that you want. It's
being able to get around those people, whether it's reading their books
or being mentored by them, sometimes it means going to work for them,
whether it's sitting down with them, having a cup of coffee, and just
picking their brain. Because, just like I said in the quote, why try to
reinvent the wheel? More than likely, there’s already somebody out
there that has been through all the failures, they’ve made all the
mistakes, and they've learned from them, so they know the most
efficient way to get from where you are to where you want to be. And
by sitting down with them, and talking to them and picking their brain,
they can point out all of the things that you want to avoid and all of the
things that you need to do in order to get from where you are to where
you want to be in the quickest way possible.

24
LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/we-cant-get-enough-of-
each-other/22356

25
Losing Yourself & Becoming A Pleaser

“A big mistake a lot of men make when they get into a relationship is
that, slowly over time they stop being the ambitious, exciting,
confident, fit and interesting men they were that attracted their women
to them in the first place. They often give up everything that matters to
them in an effort to please and become what their women say they want.
This predictably leads to their women losing respect, attraction and
romantic interest in them to the point that they get dumped. They no
longer focus on being awesome and pursuing their dreams, but instead
become pleasers in an effort to become what their women say they
want. Men should never give up their dreams, goals, ambitions or
healthy eating and exercise habits to please anyone. If they do, they will
simply lose themselves and eventually their women will leave them.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

So, when I do my phone sessions with guys that are in relationships—

whether they’re married or they’ve got a long-term girlfriend—and
things are going sideways, and she's losing attraction, it always boils
down to one or two things: he’s not communicating with her properly,
or he's not dating and courting her like he should be. In other words,
guys jump through their butts and they bend themselves into pretzels
trying to please their women.

26
You’ve probably heard the expression “Happy wife, happy life,” and if
you look at what you see in TV and the movies, the guys are always
afraid to piss off their girlfriend or their wives, and they’re trying to
conform to what they want. And they show the women as molding the
guy into the so-called “perfect man.” Well, if you let a woman treat you
like a lump of clay to mold you the way she wants, and you end up
losing yourself, you give up your hobbies, you give up your interests,
you stop hanging out with your friends. In other words, she became
attracted to you in the first place because you were this fun interesting
man who had all these hobbies and interests. And then you get into a
relationship, and in order to keep her happy and trying to keep her from
getting upset at you, you do all the things that she says she wants, and
then you end up losing yourself in the process.

And oftentimes, a year or two or several years down the road, the guy
looks in the mirror and he doesn’t even recognize himself anymore,
because he's been jumping through his butt so much and given up so
many things that were important to him that he no longer recognizes
himself. And then, oftentimes, you hear the woman say, “I don't know
you anymore.” That's why it’s so critically important for a man to know
who he is, what he wants, why he wants it, and surround himself with
people and the woman that he’s going to date who supports and nurtures
and shares his vision. If you're with a woman who doesn't support what
you do, and doesn't believe in your mission and purpose, and is not
rooting for you, you're with the wrong woman.

27
LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/losing-yourself-
becoming-a-pleaser/21201

28
It’s Complicated

“Life is supposed to be easy and effortless. When you are living from
your heart, working at a mission and purpose that you feel you were
destined for and do not get attached to the people and circumstances
who come and go in your life, only then do you align with and allow
the universe to effortlessly meet your intentions, dreams, goals and
wishes. The only reason life becomes a struggle is because of the
meanings that we give to the circumstances of our lives, and the
unhealthy attachments that we develop with things that are always
changing. The only constant in life is change. Learn to go with the flow
and allow life’s circumstances to unfold, and people to come and go.
The right ones will stay willingly. The wrong ones will blow through
your life like the wind. Never become attached to time frames. Always
be taking action towards what you want, learning from your mistakes,
refining your approach, and never settle for anything that is less than
what you really want. All great things take time.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

We always have a choice in what things mean to us. We don't

necessarily have control over what happens, but we always have control
over how we respond. By looking at the things that are undesirable, or
the results we’re getting, or the people that are showing up that are not
ideal, we measure what we’re getting and what we’re not getting. And

29
we've got to modify our approach to continually try to change course,
improve, learn from our mistakes, and get better going forward.

At the end of the day, life is going to constantly be changing. People

that you love, that you care about, people that are important to you
might all of a sudden die unexpectedly or move away. Or the job that
you love and enjoy so much, or the career that you're proud of, that
company may get bought out, may go out of business unexpectedly,
may have some a calamity that happens in the economy that takes a
seemingly stable business and destroys it overnight—much like what
we've seen with the COVID-19 virus and all the lockdowns that have
happened, and all the millions of people around the world who have
seen their lives and livelihoods totally destroyed, which, under normal
circumstances, this kind of thing would've never happened. This is like
a once-in-a-lifetime type of calamity.

But your greatest resource is always going to be your resourcefulness

and how you respond to these things. And how you respond is going be
based largely upon the meanings that you assign to these things, to these
circumstances of your life. So, make sure you choose something
positive that you can learn from, and grow from, and improve and get
better.

30
LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/its-complicated/17114

31
Be Her Rock, Her Mountain

“A man must be his woman’s rock, her mountain when it comes to

being away long distance or dealing with the death of a loved one. A
man should always be his woman’s source of unbending masculine
strength and safety. It is his job to open her up emotionally when she is
closed down to him due to life challenges, her dark days or the pain of
losing someone close. The worst thing a man can do when his woman
is hurting and suffering is to run away and hide to give her space. All
that will make her feel is that you don’t care about or love her. You
must open her up by asking questions and encouraging her to share what
she’s feeling so she can heal it and become her playful and loving self
again.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, this is a big part of communication and where a lot of guys fall short,
because they go into problem-solving mode, instead of just trying to get
her to talk about her emotions and her feelings. And if a woman feels
heard and understood, the legs open; and if she doesn't, the legs close.
And a guy who does this properly is going to continually ask her
questions, “How did that make you feel? Oh, really? What happened
next? When that happened, how did that make you feel? What else?
Tell me more, don't leave anything out. Oh my God, that happened?
Wow, what happened next?” This communicates that you're interested
and you want to know her deepest, most innermost feelings and
thoughts, desires, pains, happiness.

32
In other words, you become the rock, just like when she was a little girl
sitting in her daddy's lap, and she was upset about something and she
would tell him about it. And by doing this, you become the sole focus
in her life of who she shares everything with. And if a woman is totally
open to you, and she can communicate her deepest, most innermost
thoughts and feelings, she's going to trust you. You’re going to be her
rock, you're going to be her mountain, you’re going to be the source of
strength in her life. And oftentimes, she’s going to most likely come to
you for help, and that's what you want. You want her to be 100%
invested in you and the relationship.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/be-her-rock-her-
mountain/14131

33
Ex is Cold, Distant & Sending Mixed Signals

“An Alpha male does what he wants, when he wants and with whom he
wants. He is not interested in and does not seek the approval of others.
He lives his life according to his own vision, mission and purpose. He
does not waste time with tire kickers, time wasters or trying to fit square
pegs into round holes. He is outcome focused and knows that
circulation is the key to the universe. With enough time and patience,
he knows the right people and circumstances will eventually manifest
effortlessly into his life. He does not chase after or tolerate people who
do not value what he has to offer. He presents himself to the world with
a loving, open, non-attached, take it or leave it kind of attitude. He
defines himself and is not concerned with the opinions or labels of
others.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, what this refers to is part of being an Alpha male, just like I said in
the quote, is doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you
want. In other words, you're not seeking the approval of other people.
You do things and you live your life and your mission and purpose
because it pleases you. That is leadership energy, and this is what
women look to men for; his being the leader, the head of the household,
the guy driving the fun bus, that she can jump on his fun bus and go
along with his vision and his party and life, if you will.

34
LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/ex-is-cold-distant-sending-
mixed-signals/33066

35
A Compelling Vision For Your Life

“Every human being needs to have a compelling vision and mission for
their lives. That means we all need to have a compelling reason to get
up and out of bed in the morning to enthusiastically look forward to our
daily tasks and activities. If you are not excited about your life and do
not have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning, then it’s
going to be almost impossible to enjoy your life, do the things you know
you need to do, have great and high-quality relationships, and reach
your full potential. It could be something as simple as being a great
mom or dad. The important thing is that, until you find out what your
passion is, you must keep searching, exploring and trying new things
until you find something that excites you and makes you feel totally
alive.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

A lot of people struggle trying to figure out what their purpose is in life,
because they’ve got so many rules and so many beliefs around their
capabilities. And so, oftentimes because we have to go through a lot of
things that we often perceive as being unpleasant, or painful, or
difficult, or undesirable, and so we try to avoid that altogether because
we’re trying to always naturally seek a state of peace and balance in our
lives.

Things don't come right away, and so if you've got limiting beliefs that
are telling you you're not smart enough, you're not capable enough,
you're not good looking enough, you don't have the right body, your

36
finances aren’t in order, you don't have enough time, you're too busy,
you’ve got to sell your jet skis, you’ve got to get your tennis elbow
fixed, you’ve got to get a new pair shoes, whatever it happens to be,
you’re putting up obstacles and roadblocks to doing anything to move
your life forward.

That's why it's so important to keep searching and to keep looking,

because everything you want is going to lie outside of your comfort
zone. For extended periods of time, you're going to have to do things
you don't really love and don't enjoy, because they are a necessary
prerequisite to get from where you are to where you want to be. And if
all you've done is put roadblocks and excuses of why you can't do
certain things, not only are you not going to move towards the things
you want in life, you’re going to actually move in the opposite direction.

And what happens as the years go by, you wake up one day, you don't
like your life, you don't like what you’ve become, you don’t like the
people that are in your life, you don't like what you're doing for a living,
and that is a really unpleasant place to be. Because a lot of people get
to their midlife crisis, if you will, and that's what happens. They look
around and they go, “What the fuck is this?” Because they've been
avoiding everything that they wanted to make a reality in their life, and
they literally, their life doesn't look anything like the original vision that
they once had, because their story trips them up and keeps them from
moving in that direction.

You’ve got to trust what feels right. You’ve got to have something
emotionally compelling and really exciting, because that's the fuel that
37
causes you to climb over those obstacles and do things that are
unpleasant, that are scary, that you're afraid of, that you think might not
even work out. But that enthusiasm is what's going to carry you over it
and keep you moving forward, acquiring experiences, improving your
skills, growing your knowledge, and obviously enhancing your
wisdom.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/a-compelling-vision-
for-your-life/18927

38
 How To Show Up

See Yourself As A High-Value Person

“Before anyone else will perceive you as a person who has high value,
you have to act, think and believe as if you are a high value person in
your own eyes. People tend to see us as we see ourselves. If you have a
negative self-image, others will see this, sense this and treat you
accordingly. Since your belief is so strong, your actions, words and
deeds will communicate your belief for you. It doesn’t matter if that
belief is accurate or not. Therefore, make a conscious choice to see
yourself as awesome, even if you have to fake it until you make it. Your
mind does not know the difference between thoughts or imagination.”
~ Coach Corey Wayne

This goes back to negotiation. Scarcity creates value. Very high-value

people see themselves as amazing. They expect to succeed eventually,
and they do the things most people are simply not willing to do. You
have a non-attached approach to life and the things that you want. You
simply put your head down and you continually take action. That's why
seemingly average people, average-looking people, can accomplish
really super amazing things in life; it’s because they have their own
goals, their own dreams, their own motivations for doing what they do
and why they do it. And the best-quality women recognize this
instantly.

39
LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/see-yourself-as-a-high-
value-person/13921

40
Master Who You Are First

“A man’s primary focus should always be on his purpose and mission

in life. He should know who he is, what he wants and why he wants it
before considering getting into a relationship. Why? A man who is
adrift in life without focus and purpose will not be able to handle
relationship challenges effectively without being certain of himself,
where he is going and having a plan of action to achieve his goals. When
a man feels abundant, peaceful, relaxed, focused and happy about
himself, his life, the progress he is making and where he is going, only
then will he feel like he is “enough” to handle the challenges of life,
work and women without losing his shit.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This goes back to leadership energy, where the guy is the leader and the
woman is happy to follow and submit to his masculine strength and
presence. That's why it's so important for a guy to have his purpose and
mission together in life, because if he doesn't have that he’s not being
the leader. And oftentimes, this is the kind of thing where a guy’s taken
a woman out to dinner, and he’s like, “What do you want to do tonight?
Where do you want to go? What kind of food do you want to eat?” The
goal is to extend the invitation, whether it's for a date or what you're
going to do on the date, and invite the woman to join you, so she can
say “yes” or “no, I don't like that,” or maybe she even has a better
suggestion or a better idea.

41
The point being is, the guy should be the leader, and therefore she
should follow. If the guy’s constantly looking to the woman for
leadership, he, in essence, is treating her like his mommy, and that is
extremely unattractive and drives women up a wall. Never do this.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/master-who-you-are-
first/25218

42
Be Her Lover, Not Her Butler

“A lot of good men make the mistake of trying to do too much for a
woman they just met and started dating. They often will become her
handyman, car repairman, sugar daddy, personal assistant, therapist and
butler instead of becoming her playful lover. They mistakenly think that
by doing things for a woman, buying her things, paying her bills and
solving her problems, like men do in movies and on TV, it will
somehow translate into them becoming her boyfriend. What actually
ends up happening is, they get taken advantage of and friend-zoned,
while she ends up sleeping with and dating another guy.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

So, what you see a lot of times is why this is not effective and why the
guy ends up getting stuck in the friend-zone is because he's not living
his life and his mission and his purpose in life to please himself—he's
trying to please her. In other words, he’s seeking the woman's approval.
“Hey, if I fix your toilet, will you go out with me?” “Hey, if I come over
and fix your car, will you go out with me?” It's kind like a bribe for sex
in a relationship, and what it communicates is a guy that doesn't value
himself and comes to the table with something that he knows he has to
offer her. Instead, he’s seeking her approval because he hopes that she
will like him.

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When women date guys, and especially when they first start dating
guys, their attitude towards it is, “Do I like him? Is he good for me?”
And so, in other words, she's trying to determine whether or not he's a
good dating prospect. So, guys should take that same kind of approach
with women; “Is she good for me? Would she be a good mother to my
children? Is she going to gel with my family and my friends? Is she fun
to be around? Do I like her?” This causes him to put the woman on
probation, just like he is on probation with her.

So, what happens is he's acting like a man who comes to a potential
relationship happy, whole, and complete, instead of acting like a guy
that’s seeking her approval and hoping that if she loves him or likes him
then he'll feel good about himself, and then he’ll be happy, whole, and
complete. Relationships are about sharing your completeness, not
looking for somebody to fix what's missing in your life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/be-her-lover-not-her-
butler/20250

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All Of Life Is A Negotiation

“All of life is a negotiation. In every human interaction, you are either

talking them into doing what you want, or they are talking you into
doing what they want. You don’t get what you deserve in life, only what
you negotiate. The strongest negotiating position is always being able
to walk away for good and mean it. If you don’t believe you deserve
what you want, don’t speak up for yourself and state what you want,
and are not willing to walk away and mean it if you don’t get what you
want, then you are all too often going to feel and be shortchanged, left
out, fleeced and disappointed.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is really, super important, especially when it comes to dating or

trying to get a job. You either get sold or you sell them on what it is that
you want. And the reality is, if somebody is unwilling to give you the
terms that you want and then you go along with it, you're always going
to resent it—whether it's dating a woman or taking a job for less salary
than you want. Whatever it happens to be, you’ve got to hold out for
what you really want, and you really deserve and keep moving and
circulating until you find someone who is willing to give you what you
want on your terms. Because when you're willing to walk away and
mean it, that is the ultimate statement to the world and to the universe
that you are unattached to your outcome. You could take it, or you can
leave it. You would love if it worked out, but if it doesn't, that's okay,
because eventually better will come to you.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/all-of-life-is-a-
negotiation/23107

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Talking Her Out Of Dating You

“Attraction is not a choice. Women have no control over the men who
they instantly find sexually attractive, any more than men have control
over who they instantly find sexually attractive. The problem most men
have who are unsuccessful with women is that when they do encounter
women where the sexual attraction is mutual, they literally talk these
women right out of liking them. Lack of knowledge of pickup, body
language, communication, attraction and dating skills, in addition to
irrational fear-based thinking, is what leads to their failure. In order for
men to successfully attract and seduce women who like them, they need
to fill in their knowledge gap, practice this new knowledge and
continually interact with a steady stream of new women. Success then
becomes not a matter of hope, but simply a matter of time. Time and
repetition of correct thinking and action will eventually lead to success.
My book, How To Be A 3% Man, Winning The Heart Of The Woman
Of Your Dreams, provides the essential knowledge and skills. The rest
is up to the unsuccessful man to practice, so he can become easily and
effortlessly successful, instead of constantly turning women off and
pushing them away.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If a guy has a bad dating strategy, is in a fearful state, he's going to be

in a scarcity mindset, because he's perceiving himself to not be good
enough. And because he doesn't believe he's good enough to be loved
by the other person, he tries to force himself into her life, to spend more

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time around her, to try to get her to spend more time around him, to try
to move things to a relationship quickly, because he figures if he can
lock her down into a commitment and get her to date and stay with him
and be in a relationship, then, finally, he’ll experience peace and feel
good about himself. But the reality is, he's looking to the woman for
validation and to the woman as being the source of happiness and peace
in his life.

And the reality is, even if he was able to get her, because he’s not happy
and he has a negative self-perception, eventually, once the infatuation
wears off, he’s going to be faced with the fact that he's just not a happy
guy. When that typically happens, then he starts sabotaging the
relationship. He stops putting his best foot forward, because in the past
he was doing all the right things because he believed she was a source
of his happiness, instead of a good complement to his life. And then
once he recognizes that she can't make him happy, then he starts
wondering why he isn't happy.

And then when he starts to wonder why he isn't happy, he starts

sabotaging his relationship, no longer putting his best foot forward, and
he stops dating and courting her properly, because the whole reason for
him doing that in the first place was because she was supposed to be the
source of his happiness. And then, once he realizes that she can't make
him happy, the relationship starts to spiral out of control, and then he
goes back into the fearful state, and then she starts getting confused and
backing away. Then he starts chasing her and trying to force her to stay
in his life, and then he literally runs the woman right out of his life.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/talking-her-out-of-
dating-you/17271

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The Power Of Walking Away

“Being able to walk away from potential lovers increases sexual

attraction. Being able to walk away communicates that you highly value
yourself, what you have to offer and that you won’t tolerate being
mistreated or taken for granted. Walking away causes the person whom
you walked away from to pursue you, like you more, and make more of
an effort to keep you in their life. However, if they don’t really care
about you, they will let you go. It’s healthy in any relationship to set
and maintain your boundaries of how you want to be treated. Otherwise,
you open yourself up to becoming someone else’s doormat. People will
treat you exactly how you allow them to treat you. No one will ever do
or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

You have to look at your time as being the greatest gift that you can
give anybody. If they treat you properly and they love you, and they
cherish you, they appreciate you, they compliment you, they make you
feel loved and wanted, they get the gift of your time. And if they don't,
and they back off, and they start to mistreat you, and you remind them
in a respectful, loving way of the boundaries that you have set and they
continue to violate them, well, then you have to give them the gift of
missing you. And so, if you notice that the woman you're dating or in a
relationship with is taking longer to reply, her texts are getting shorter,
they're getting less frequent, the worst thing you can do is text or call

50
more, because that's going to actually reduce further the frequency and
the amount of her contacts, and texting and phone calls out to you.
That's why matching and mirroring can be so powerful when you notice
the other person is investing less time in the relationship.

The same thing comes with friendships. If you spend a lot of time
around your friends, and you notice they start disrespecting you or not
treating you as well or showing up late, the best thing that you can do
is give them a little space, give them a little time, give them a little
distance, and wait for them to make more of an effort. Good friends,
good family, good girlfriends, good lovers will always make a mutual
effort. And if you notice the other person is not making the same level
of effort and then you back off, and then they just kind of slowly
disappear from your life and don't really make the same level of effort,
then that should tell you everything you need to know about where you
stand with them.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-power-of-walking-
away/17431

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Lead With Humor, Charm, & Decisiveness

“A successful seduction is the result of two people who are mutually

sexually attracted to one another having an effortless, romantic, playful,
safe and fun experience together that leads to love making. A man who
understands a woman’s needs, desires and wants must create a fun and
safe environment where she will feel safer and safer to share and reveal
more of herself to him, which ultimately leads to love making. Women
want to be in a love story that happens unexpectedly. Women dream of
a man who will show up and know exactly what to do to make them
feel safe, comfortable and totally sweep them off their feet
romantically. A man whose charm they can’t and don’t want to resist.
The average guy who fails with women talks too much and creates too
many awkward moments for romance to bloom effortlessly.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

I see this a lot in my phone sessions; guys get just too serious when
they're dating a woman. And then a woman gets upset about something,
because sometimes women bluff to test. Sometimes they feign
irritation, or they may be irritated and mad, but oftentimes their
behavior is kind of inappropriate. This is part of how they test a man's
strength. A man who's happy, who's comfortable, who feels good about
himself, and his girl is kind of being bitchy—he’s usually going to lead
with humor, and tease her, and be playful.

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I’ve got an example that I often use from years ago; I was actually in
the Apple Store waiting to get something fixed on my computer, and I
was standing at the counter and there was this guy. He was a nice guy,
he was kind of a Beta male—had glasses, kind of a geeky dude—and
he was helping other customers while he was waiting for this software
update to update on my computer. And this really cute 19 or 20-year-
old girl was there with one of her girlfriends, and she was having a
problem with her iPhone—she had dropped it and she had only had it
like a week—and she was just being a total bitch to this guy. She was
just being an ass to him.

And I'm in a good mood, I'm happy, I want to have a good time, you
know, I'm just sitting there chilling, and she's next to me, about three
feet away, just kind of being a bitch to the guy that was working on my
computer. And her behavior was inappropriate. And so, when she
paused for a second after kind of berating this guy, I looked at him and
I said, “Dude, whatever you do, don't fucking piss her off,” just like
that. And she looked at me, her physiology became submissive, her
head went down a little bit, she started giggling and laughing, became
very apologetic to him, started saying she was sorry because she'd had
a bad day, and that was the second phone and it had broken on her.

And then after that, she was nice, she was playful, she was sweet as pie.
And I wasn't being a dick to her. I was actually indirectly addressing
her to this guy and making a funny comment, but I used the same exact
tone that I just did there, and it completely changed her demeanor. I let
her know—in a respectful, kind of sarcastic, a little bit smart-assy,

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cocky, confident type of way—that her behavior was inappropriate.
And the reality is, she knew it was inappropriate. And , I checked her
on her behavior, and she became submissive and playful, because I was
in my masculine energy and it put her right back in her feminine energy
because, obviously, the guy that was there was kind of a Beta male, and
she knew she could beat up on him, because she was this beautiful, cute
girl, and she’s probably used to treating most men that way. And that's
what I talk about—using humor.

If a girl’s in a bitchy tone, you’re kind of making fun of it. You kind of
think it's cute, you think it's a little bit endearing. And it's a way, a
respectful and playful way, to communicate that her behavior is
inappropriate. So, when you're being challenged and you know your
girl or that your date is kind of being an ass, and you come at her with
some humor, it shows that you don't take yourself too seriously; but
also, you’re, in a playful, respectful way, calling her out on it so she
changes her behavior. And if she's a good girl and she is a good person,
she will change her behavior.

If she's just an asshole, then she’ll become more of a belligerent asshole

and you can use more humor and more playfulness. That's setting a
healthy boundary, and if yet she still doesn't do it, that's when you
remove yourself and say, “You know what, I don't like your attitude, I
don’t like the way you treat me, so I’m going to take off. I'm going to
go meet the guys, have a beer. You call me when you're ready to
apologize and be nice.” That communicates that if she's disrespectful
and she crosses your boundaries, you're out of there because you’re just
simply not going to put up with it.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/lead-with-humor-
charm-decisiveness/14754

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Sex Playmates

“All men and women should play the field and date a lot of different
people to determine what they really want and what’s most important
to them before getting into a long-term relationship. When you’re
young and inexperienced, you don’t know what you don’t know. By
having multiple romantic options and experiencing several different
partners before you get into a long-term relationship, you won’t find
yourself thinking that the grass is greener on the other side or that
somehow, single people have it better. By learning to allow lovers and
sex playmates to come and go as they please in your life, you will create
a space for the right person to come and stay in your life for the right
reasons. Once you have played the field, then you will be in a better
position emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, to focus
100% on loving, giving to and being authentically present with your
relationship partner once you choose one to be exclusive with.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

So, this goes back to prospecting—you’ve got to have lots of different

prospects. The last thing you want to do is kind of what I did when I
was really young and didn't have a lot of experience; I got into my first
long-term relationship and actually married a girl I was dating who was
really awesome, but deep down, I really wanted to continue dating and
play the field, but I just didn't know any better. And internally, I felt
that I should've moved on, but I just didn’t have enough experience and

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the inner strength to move on, because I was scared I was never going
to find anybody better. Because in my dating in my personal life, I was
just employing a lot of really bad strategies, so when I did meet women
that I really liked and who really liked me, within a couple of dates I
was talking them out of liking me to the point where I got friend-zoned,
or I got ghosted and never heard from them again. And that's why if you
spend a lot of time dating, taking women through the seduction process,
and getting good at it, that gives you choice with women.

And when you've dated a lot of different women, you kind of figure out
what it is that you really like, what you don't like, what you can tolerate,
what you don't want to put up with, versus just getting serious with the
first person that comes along. If you learn to trust your gut and what
feels right, that’s always, I've personally found, is the best way to go
about it. If you have lots of choices and lots of options, you're never
going to be in a rush to make a snap decision because you're afraid of
losing somebody. The right person's going to feel easy and effortless,
like a nice, good ole comfortable pair of shoes.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/sex-playmates/18332

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Dating: Eliminating Your Competition

“A real man stands up for himself and what he believes in. Testing and
bluffing from women he wants to date do not intimidate him, or from
those he encounters in his daily life. He is sure of himself and only
allows those into his inner circle who share the same goals and values.
He knows that by allowing those into his inner circle who are not
aligned with his goals, outcomes and values will only impede his
progress and take him off course. A real man has a strong inner strength
and belief in himself. He is comfortable being alone, because he loves
and values his time more than he values or needs the approval of others.
He knows that as long as he is happy with himself and his life, he has
all the approval he will ever need. As the old saying goes, it’s better to
be alone than in bad company.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is something that’s really important for men as a place that you
want to get to in life. If you're looking to a woman or a relationship to
make you happy or to complete you, then you're always going to be in
a weak position of leverage, because you're always seeking their
attention and their validation in order to feel good about yourself and
your life and what you want. But, the reality is, even when you get that
woman, if you have that mindset, “Once I get the right girl, then I'm
going to be happy,” what's going to happen is that 6 months, 12 months,
a year, year and a half after dating and that infatuation wears off, if you
were already unhappy before you met her and you were hoping she was

58
going to make you happy—she will for a period of time—but once the
infatuation is gone, that's when you realize that you're still the same
dude that you were before you met her.

If you're not happy being alone, you're simply not going to be happy in
your long-term relationships. That's why it's so important to get to a
place in life where you really enjoy being alone, you love your time
alone, you have fun being alone. And therefore, then, a woman is
something to add value to your life. She's the cherry on top of your hot
fudge sundae.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-eliminating-
your-competition/31939

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She Blew Me Off Pretty Badly

“Causing other people to respect you is one of the hardest things to earn,
and one of the easiest things to lose. You should never make “maybe”
plans where you keep your schedule wide open until the last minute,
hoping someone wants to spend time with you. People who value and
appreciate you will be happy to make definite plans where you have a
definite day, place and time to meet up, without any instructions to
verify the plans once again at the last minute. When someone asks you
to verify plans at the last minute, the self-respecting thing to do is to
withdraw the offer and make plans with someone else who is eager to
make definite plans to see you. When you agree to be a “maybe” option
for someone, you open yourself up to being someone’s backup plan.
Never agree to be a backup, only a priority.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I’ve noticed over the course of my life and even as I got into adulthood,
even in the last ten years of my life, I've met people that I thought were
pretty cool and enjoyed hanging out with them, but they were just flaky
as hell. They showed up late, they would cancel plans at the last minute,
wouldn't be willing to make plans, and would want to leave things up
in the air. And those kinds of people, when I was younger, and even
now, it's like they just kind of fade away, because you quickly lose
respect for people like that because they’re just simply not treating you
the way you want to be treated. They waste other people's time, they’re
inconsistent, they’re unreliable.

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And when you tolerate those kinds of people in your life, you're sending
out the vibe to the universe that you'd like more of those kinds of
people, because you're allowing it. No one will ever do or say anything
to you that you don't invite them to do. If people don't treat you the way
you want to be treated, you oftentimes, over the course of your life,
might have to give them the permanent gift of missing you forever.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/she-blew-me-off-
pretty-badly/17040

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Seek To Give Love, Not Possess

“The best things in life are free. The secret to a high-quality life and
personal relationships is easy when you know what to focus on and how
to treat other people. If what you are doing in your personal or
professional life is not getting you the results you really want and
deserve, then you need to change your unsuccessful approach. Why? If
you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting
what you always got. Unsuccessful people toil and struggle doing the
same things over and over again, expecting a different result. Successful
people realize when their approach is flawed or not working, and seek
out new knowledge, strategies and techniques from people who are
already getting the easy and effortless results that they want. Then, they
model their success by doing the same things, and eventually they get
the same results.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I see this a lot in phone sessions with guys that are struggling to re-
attract a woman that they turned off. If they've gone through a period
of where she went off and dated somebody else or stuck them in friend-
zone, and they said, “Thanks, but no thanks, but get in touch if you ever
change your mind,” and then the woman gets back in touch, they go out
on a date, things go really well, and they’re thinking, “Wow, I finally
got another chance. This stuff is working.” And after the second or third
date, they kind of go right back to that old, needy, over-pursuing type
of behavior, instead of letting her come to him at her pace. What

62
happens is, they really haven’t changed their approach, and then they
bullshit themselves into taking action and trying to force things,
because they're still worried about losing her. And it's hard for them to
make the connection and admit that it's actually their needy, insecure
behavior that’s causing them to turn off that woman.

I’ll give you an example, this is from a recent phone session that I had
with a guy. He was doing like 70-80% of the pursuing, and she was
really into him at first, but over the course of several weeks, she got
turned off to the point where she didn't feel anything, she said there was
no spark, there was no chemistry, she’s confused, she needs to get her
life in order, she needs to work on herself, whatever it happens to be,
(it's funny, women tend to say all those same kinds of excuses). And so,
he backed off and he let her be. And several weeks went by, she got
back in touch, he made a date, they went out, they had a great date, they
hooked up again, he’s thinking, “This is awesome.” And then, he did
reduce the amount of pursuing that he was doing, but this time he would
only reduced it to about 50-50. And when it's 50-50, that is going to
give off the platonic vibe, and then you end up in the same place.

And as the weeks went by, she became more distant, started spending
time with the other guy that she was seeing and less with him. He started
trying to force things more. And it was really hard for this guy, because
he's a high achieving, very successful guy, to admit that he was over-
pursuing. Because it's funny, I’ll hear guys go, “No, I’m not over
pursuing, Coach.” And then I start asking, “What percentage are you
reaching out first, and what percentage is she reaching out first?” And

63
every time, when I hear a guy saying, “Oh, I’m not over-pursuing,” it's
always, you know, more than the 20 or 30% that I talk about in my
book.

And it was tough to get this particular guy to admit that to himself, but
by the end of the phone conversation, he really saw the error of his
ways. Because I was able to point out, at times, when she was really
attracted to him, he was letting her do most of the pursuing and she was
really aggressive, really pursuing him hard. But as soon as he started
running after her, as soon as he started to think, “Wow, I'm almost there.
I almost got her. I almost got her re-attracted,” he actually went right
back to the same behavior and pushed her right out of his life and turned
her off again.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/seek-to-give-love-not-
possess/19269

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You Must Be Free

“Having the feeling of freedom in your heart enables you to move

towards the things you want and the lifestyle you want to create with
minimal internal resistance, instead of being too scared to take action
like most people are. Freedom comes from knowing your worth and
knowing how to go after and get what you want in life. When your
choices and options are abundant, you will feel content, peaceful and
relaxed. When you feel like your choices and options are limited and
scarce, you will feel fearful, anxious and uneasy. Confidence comes
from repeatedly practicing skills and techniques. The novice only
becomes the master and the expert through time and repetition.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

Our natural state of rest is always seeking more peace, more ease, more
delight. That's why it's easy to be lazy. That's why it's easy to put off
doing things that we know we need to do, because naturally,
instinctively, we want to do things that facilitate being in a peaceful and
relaxed state. And if you grew up in a household where everybody is
stressed out, or you grew up in a neighborhood where everybody is
stressed out, or the people you've chosen to hang out with are always
stressed out—you're going to typically tend to be always stressed out
and fearful. Because behind anger is always fear. So, anything that you
can do to put yourself into a more peaceful and relaxed state is going to
benefit you and help you reach your full potential sooner.

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Things like taking on excessive debt, eating really bad foods, living in
a stressful neighborhood, working a stressful job with people who don't
treat you well—these are the kinds of things you need to recognize and
start looking for other opportunities and options when you have time,
so you can, eventually, find better places to be and better people to
spend your time with. Most people are doing the exact opposite; they’re
stressed out already and they do things continually that add more stress
to their lives.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/you-must-be-
free/26284

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My Girl Left Me A Few Times

“Control is an illusion. We may think we are in control of our lives, but

the longer you live, the more you come to realize that the universe often
has other plans. Life is change. It requires your flexibility and
adaptability to change, so you can navigate the seasons of your life,
overcome challenges and setbacks, and reach your full potential. Your
attitude and mindset are the greatest tools you can use to shape and
change your destiny. A positive and empowering one enables you to
succeed eventually with enough time, patience, action and refinement
of your approach. A negative and limiting one keeps you stuck in place
and mediocre. No matter what life throws your way, your ability to
remain relaxed, peaceful and resourceful determines your trajectory and
ability to achieve your outcomes.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The only thing you have control over in life is your own actions and the
meanings that you assign to the things and circumstances that are in
your life. Oftentimes, when eventually you achieve your goals, it
doesn't look exactly the way you expected, and your path to get there is
not what you expected, but you're able to kind of “connect the dots”—
like Steve Jobs said—only looking back on your life. That's why it's so
important to focus right now on what you can do in the present moment
to move your life forward; to go from where you are right now to where
you want to be.

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And, if you have a positive attitude and a mindset like a winner does,
no matter what happens, a winner is looking at the supposed bad things
that happen in life, and they think to themselves, “What's good about
this? What can I learn from this? What can this teach me? How can I
use this to be better the next time around? How can I use this to be more
efficient? How can I use this as a reason to find a way to be grateful for
the things that are going on in my life?” instead of us constantly
assigning negative meanings to things.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/my-girl-left-me-a-few-
times/33191

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Premarital Sex

“Sex and making love is the most fun two human beings can have
together without their clothes on. We’re all divine beings having a
human experience. Therefore, if two people want each other, desire
each other, have sex or make love, it’s really no one else’s business. It’s
between them and the Creator. Too many people in this world are too
concerned about the sexuality and sexual habits of other people, instead
of taking care of their own lives. Lead by example if your beliefs differ
from others. If your example is superior, people will follow you. If not,
maybe you should look inward and question your own beliefs and
where they really came from in the first place.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Obviously, what I do for a living and talking about my past, my

successes, as well as my many, many failures, there is never a shortage
of people who have an opinion on how I should live my life—people
that think I should be married, people that think I shouldn’t be married,
people that think I should have kids, people that think having kids and
having a family is the worst thing in the world. Everybody has an
opinion on the way they think I should be—how I should keep my
beard, my facial hair, my hairstyle, what kind of clothes I should be
wearing, what I should do with my voice, what I should do in my spare
time, how I should think politically—on, and on, and on, and on, and
on. If you love who you are and you know who you are, have people in

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your life who support, cherish, and celebrate you without trying to
change you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/premarital-sex/13864

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Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words

“Actions always speak louder than words. People who are honorable
and who have integrity say what they mean and mean what they say.
People who are untrustworthy and who have no integrity will constantly
make promises, but never follow through on them. Once someone
shows their true colors and that they are untrustworthy and devious, but
yet you continue to stay involved with them in any way, you deserve
what you get. You can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.”
~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you think about what I said earlier—about no one will ever do or say
anything to you that you don't invite them to do—this quote perfectly
sums that up, because you're allowing people in your inner circle who
are not behaving in a way that you expect, desire, or want. And this is
where setting healthy boundaries comes in; you have to hold people
accountable to them. And people who constantly violate these
boundaries—because you're going to encounter people in life that are
that way—you're going to have to either limit your time that you spend
around them or boot them out of your life and your inner circle
permanently. Because the reality is, if you allow these kinds of toxic
people to stay in your inner circle, you’re setting the vibration out to the
universe that you're okay with this, and you'll actually end up attracting
more of those kinds of toxic people into your life.

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The reality is really good people are hard to find. Good friends are hard
to come by. A really good woman who you're really attracted to—who
has the same goals and values that you do and who came from a good
family—are very rare, and they don't come along very often. So, until
you meet somebody that matches your ideal, you’ve got to keep
practicing and trying to get better with your social skills and the things
that I talk about my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, because
repetition is the mother of skill. Excellence is not a singular act, it's a
habit. You are what you do repeatedly.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/actions-always-speak-
louder-than-words/14255

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 Working On Yourself

I Feel Like I’m Worthless

“A parent’s job is to fill their child up with so much love, self-esteem,

determination and self-confidence, that the negative and weak people
of the world can’t have any effect on their efforts to become great and
have an awesome life. Unfortunately, the world is full of weak people
who have given up on themselves and their dreams. Misery really does
love company. These lost and unhappy souls are so desperate to drag
other people down to their level of misery and suffering to validate their
own limiting beliefs and negative outlook, that they will be fierce,
ruthless and relentless in projecting their own self-hatred and self-
loathing onto anyone who crosses their path in order to justify and
continue their unsuccessful approach to life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Something I said in my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, was “No one

will ever do or say anything to you that isn't a direct reflection of how
they feel about themselves in a moment.” Another one is, “No one will
ever do or say anything to you that you don't invite them to do.” You
should never take things personally when somebody else is trying to
insult you, belittle you, demean you, call you names, or treat you
harshly.

We all tend to project what's inside of us onto other people; it's a way
that we human beings go about disassociating from things we don't like

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about ourselves. So, we find other people or circumstances to label, so
we can project our suffering and self-loathing onto others or absolve
ourselves from any personal responsibility for our actions, thoughts,
words, and deeds. So, when someone is being an asshole to you and
telling you all of these horrible things that they think you are, what
they’re really doing is they're telling you their story.

A quote I read many years ago was from the Buddha. And someone was
treating him harshly in this village that he came to, and then afterwards,
one of his disciples came up and basically asked him, “Master, how can
you sit there and take that?” And his response was something along the
lines of, “If someone gives you a gift and you do not accept it, to whom
does the gift belong?” So, in other words, if you don't take ownership
of what they're projecting, and instead, in a way, you can kind of feel
sorry for them, because what they're really doing is they're telling you
their story, not yours. So, no matter what happens in life, someone’s
being an asshole to you, it's a state or a reflection of where they are
emotionally.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-feel-like-im-
worthless/20516

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The Balanced, Centered & Successful Man

“Being successful in your romantic and professional life is mostly the

result of an inner transformation. By becoming focused on creating an
emotionally compelling vision for your life, with equally emotionally
compelling goals, you become focused on your life purpose and
mission like a laser beam. What you focus on in life will expand. When
you focus on becoming great at something you love for a living, your
life takes on meaning, purpose and value. When you feel like you are
striving to become, and are in the process of becoming, what you were
put on this earth to do, you will feel like you have a great reason for
living and playing full out. This makes you happy and causes others to
notice your happiness and satisfaction with life. The most attractive
people are people who have come alive on the inside with a burning
desire to be what they can be. In a world where most people major in
minor things and settle for a life that is less than what they are capable
of living, this makes you stand out as a precious, rare and valuable
person. Everyone loves a winner, not a whiner.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

We've all experienced, probably, back when we're in high school or

other social functions when the most successful, good-looking guy or
girl walks in the room, instantly everybody turns and looks in that
direction; “What are they doing? Who are they with? How can I meet
that person? How can I be around them?” They tend to be smiling, they
tend to be happy, they make people feel good, they make people laugh.

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And we’re all capable of this. We’re all capable of being the person that
walks in the room and just lights it up and changes it. But we've got to
get to a place in our lives where we love our life, and we’re enjoying
our life and we’re living it on our terms. In other words, having and
designing a life of our own choosing.

People that are able to create the life and lifestyle that they want are a
great example to everybody around them of what they're capable of.
And when you see these real-life examples of amazing people or people
that you perceive as amazing, because they're doing it, it can help you
to believe that you can do it also. So, by developing yourself, your gifts,
your skills, your talents, taking care of your body, developing a great
social circle and great social life, wherever you go, you're hanging out
with great people that have the same great vision for their lives, and
they look to you for leadership. Because leadership, after all, the word
“lead” means “to go first.”

We’re all surrounded by people that are living lives that are way less
than they're capable of living. And if you just try a little bit harder than
everybody else, and you work slightly harder than everybody else to
develop yourself and become better, over time, you will become
exceptional. And then when you walk into a room, everybody's going
to notice you and want to be around you; the guys are going to want to
befriend you, and the girls are going to want to date and sleep with you,
and the right clients are going want to talk to you and do business with
you.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-balanced-centered-
successful-man/25787

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The Art Of Having Fun

“Being successful is the result of the continuous application of the

science of high achievement fundamentals. Having fun is an art; it’s the
conscious choice to continually assign positive and empowering
meanings to the majority of what you spend your time doing. Happiness
is the art of consciously choosing to be happy, no matter what happens
or where life takes you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is a discussion that I have with one of my closest friends who's

very successful. He basically made enough money when, back in the
‘90s when we were both in our late 20s, he worked for a tech company
and he left with a golden parachute. And so, for the last 20, 20+ years,
his life has been about investing in other companies, investing in stocks,
making music that he’s passionate about. And so, he’s had a ton of time
to spend on his own.

I really model my life a lot after him and how he lives his life, and I
discuss this at length and in detail in my second book, Mastering
Yourself, because this is an ongoing discussion. It's like, if you're not
under pressure to make money—if your bills are paid for, you own your
houses free and clear, your cars are free and clear, you're making plenty
of money from interest on your investments and your other streams,
multiple streams of income, if you will—you really don't have to do
anything. You can get up when you want, you can go to sleep when you
want, you can date when you want, you can fuck when you want, you

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can travel when you want. You literally can spend your life however
you want to—doing something productive or just simply wasting it and
having a nice day at the beach.

But it all boils down to how you look at things, how you perceive things,
because having fun really is an art. Because you have to consciously
look for and assign meanings to things that are happening in your life
as being good, enjoyable things that make you happy. Because there's
lots of reasons—if you ever want to be miserable, all you’ve got to do
is turn on the news and see what they're talking about. But if you don't
have any pressure to do anything, how would you spend your time?
What would you do with your life? If you didn't have to work and if
money wasn't an object, what would you do? How would you spend
your life? And the activities that you're spending your life doing, you
really have to look at it and come up with empowering meanings to be
grateful, so it really is an art.

Happiness is kind of a discipline, because it really involves mentally

assigning positive meanings to things. And that boils down to the
quality of the questions that you ask yourself, because the quality of
your life is going to be in direct proportion to the quality of the
questions that you consistently ask yourself. So, if you're asking your
brain shitty questions, it's going to come up with shitty answers that
make you feel crappy. If you're asking yourself good-quality questions
like “What’s good about this? How can I use this? What was great about
what happened the other day? What do I have that I can be grateful for
in my life right now?” you force your brain to come up with good,

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empowering meanings to assign to the circumstances of your life. So,
when you catch yourself feeling down, or upset, or saying “I'm stupid,”
“I'm an idiot,” “I shouldn't have done that,” you’ve got to catch
yourself, and look at it and turn it around in a different way: “Well,
what can I learn from that? What can I do to be happier going forward?
What can I do to focus on and find more things to be grateful for in my
life?” It's an art, not a science.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-art-of-having-
fun/34904

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I Brought Back My Alpha

“Alpha energy is living your life and being who you really are without
limits, holding back or being influenced by weaker Betas who are too
scared, shy and timid to reach their full potential. Alpha energy is
leadership energy that takes risks in spite of the potential for loss and
failure. Betas will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. Alphas
push through the pain and take action in spite of their fears, because
they have emotionally compelling outcomes they must achieve. Alphas
are disciplined and always continue moving forward and taking action,
even when success seems far off or highly unlikely. Alphas see
problems and challenges as simply obstacles to be overcome by
perpetually searching for solutions until they find them. Alphas are
relentless in their pursuit of excellence and reaching their full potential,
despite the hate foisted upon them by the weak and timid.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

I often see when I talk about Alpha males versus Beta males or Alpha
females versus Beta females, I often see people saying, “Oh, this is
bullshit. That doesn't exist, there's no such thing as an Alpha,” which,
obviously, when I see people doing that, they’re a fucking Beta male
usually saying that. Alpha male is not about going around and being a
badass and beating people up; Alpha male, or the Alpha energy, is about
confidence, purpose, drive, mission, succeeding, taking risks. Just like

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I said in the quote, even when success looks like it might not or even
probably won't work out.

Betas are so worried about failure and they’re so fearful that they avoid
it altogether. In other words, they don't even try to break through the
barriers, they don’t even try to overcome their fears. They’re timid,
they’re shy, they run away from challenges and difficulty, whereas an
Alpha is going to push through and punch through that wall no matter
what.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-brought-back-my-
Alpha/35417

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Be The King Of Your Kingdom

“All too often in life we allow people into our inner circle who do not
belong there out of our own desire for love, acceptance and
significance. Many times, we will automatically give credibility to the
opinions of people who have not earned it to influence us. A true friend
is one to whom you can speak aloud without fear of judgement or
acceptance. A true friend will make a mutual effort towards nurturing
your friendship. If you have “energy vampires” in your life who rarely
have anything positive or encouraging to say about you, your choices
or how you live your life, invite them to make someone else’s life
miserable instead of yours.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is part of loving yourself and valuing yourself and knowing what
you bring to the table. You want to spend your time with people who
are glad you're there, that are excited that you're there, that are happy to
have you there, and they treat you with respect. When you have plans,
they show up on time. They always have a kind word of encouragement
when things are going good and when things are going bad. They see
the best in you, and they also see the best that you could be and
encourage that.

Too many people have people in their lives that have nothing but
negativity and self-hatred and self-loathing that they project onto other
people, and they put up with it because they admire or they look up to

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this person—whether this is a friend, a woman you're dating, an abusive
family member, or working someplace where you're basically
surrounded by assholes. If you're working with people who don't treat
you the way you want to be treated and you love and you value yourself,
you’ll keep working there, but when you have your spare time, you’re
going to be spending it looking for a better job and a better company
culture, so you can go work someplace that you're actually excited
about going to work. The average person, when they hate their job, they
just tolerate it and put up with it because they don't believe that they
deserve better; and, therefore, their actions match that belief.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/be-the-king-of-your-
kingdom/13774

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Love Yourself First

“In order to be successful in your intimate relationships, you must love,

accept, value and have a great relationship with yourself first. You can’t
give away what you don’t already have for yourself. After all, love is
about giving. If you can’t have an awesome time by yourself, you will
never be able to be happy in your relationships. Why? When we depend
upon people or things outside ourselves in order to be happy, eventually
we will realize we are unhappy, and it will become nearly impossible
to sustain the relationship or our success. Therefore, in order to have
great relationships, we must first create a life and lifestyle that is
compelling, fulfilling and that we are proud of. When you are proud of
yourself, your life and your journey, even if you are not where you
ultimately want to be, you’ll make yourself so attractive, others will
become excited about joining you to be a part of it.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

You’ve got to get to a place in life where you're proud of you, you love
you, you love your life. You love your social life, you love what you do
for fun, you love the people that you hang out with, you love what you
do for a living, ideally. And if you don't love what you do for a living,
you look at it as just simply a stepping stone in the process to achieving
and reaching your full potential. You’ve got to have things that light
you up on the inside, because when you're happy, you’re going to smile

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more. When you smile more and you're happier, you’re going to be
more approachable, and you're going to be seen as more attractive.

We all naturally are attracted to and want to be around other people that
are happy, that smile a lot, that are having a good time, that like to joke
around, that are enjoying themselves, and enjoying their lives. If you're
miserable and you’re unhappy, you’ve got to work on taking care of
you and getting to a place where you're happy. So, do the work, put the
time in, and then when you get to a place where you get up every day
and you’re excited, even if it's just sitting alone on the weekend
watching some TV, or going to meet a friend out for a meal, or a drink,
or dinner, or traveling by yourself, whatever it happens to be. You can
walk down to the bar in the hotel that you're staying at, have a good
time enjoying talking to the bartenders, asking them about the city,
talking to the other people that are there, and just enjoying being able
to travel and enjoy your time. Because when you do this, women
especially take notice, because men that are happy and are able to get
what they want are also going to be good at making them happy and
loving and romancing them in a way they want and that they enjoy.
Because at the end of the day, women want to be in a love story.

So, get to a place where you can have a blast in your life, and you'll be
a lot more attractive, and you'll get a lot more people, men and women,
noticing you and wanting to be around you. They'll naturally be drawn
to you.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/love-yourself-
first/25003

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Creating A Drama-Free Social Life

“An important mindset that’s essential to being successful in life is to

learn to see things as they are, but not worse than they are or better than
they are. That way you can remain objective and unattached to any
desired outcome and take the necessary action based upon a peaceful
state of mind, instead of a fearful one. Actions taken while in a fearful
state tend to manifest more circumstances that make you feel fearful,
uncertain and unbalanced, which will lead to more undesired outcomes.
Actions taken while in a peaceful state tend to manifest more
circumstances that are balanced, efficient, ideal and desired.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

Anything that you can do to help yourself remain in a peaceful and

relaxed state is going to help you be more efficient and achieve your
outcomes in a much shorter period of time. Because, if you're in a
fearful state, and you're worried about what may or may not happen in
the future, your actions are trying to avoid something, which is
obviously what you fear happening.

It's kind of like the analogy: if you've ever taken a class in a racecar
school, and the driving instructors will put you in situations where
you're losing control of the car. And the goal is to look where you want
to go. If you're spinning around and your car is out of control, you train
to look where you want to be or where you want to go in life. And what
happens is, it's a great metaphor for life, what happens is the average

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person, when they start spinning in their car, they start looking at the
wall because of trying to avoid the wall. And what happens, they
actually steer right into it. But if you're losing control of your car, and
you focus your eyes down the road or down the track of where you want
to go, you'll actually steer into that direction. It's a great metaphor for
the power of focus in your life and moving towards the things that you
want.

So, if you’ve got stressful people in your life, remove them from your
life. If you're in a toxic relationship, get out of that toxic relationship if
you're unable to fix things and the other person won't treat you the way
you want to be treated. If you're in a stressful job, find a job that's more
fun, that’s more balanced, maybe where you're not so overworked. Or
maybe if you're trying to achieve something in life—maybe you’re
taking an extra load of classes at school—maybe you also take summer
classes, so you don’t have to take so many classes during the normal
semester if you're working and going to school at the same time.

Or, if you're working for somebody else and you’ve got a little side
hustle going on, you’ve got to try to spread, because there’s only so
many hours in the day, and so you want to try to spread your time out
and do things in little bite-size pieces, so you don't overwhelm yourself.
Because, if you get overwhelmed, then you’re going to tend to avoid it
and then do nothing, and that’s just simply going to make you feel
worse.

Anything that you can do to make things a little easier—to incorporate

more ease and delight in your life—you’re actually going to be more
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efficient, you’re going to have a better quality of life, and you'll actually
get from where you are to where you want to be in a quicker way
possible, instead of being stressed out all of the time, which is going to
make things more difficult, and you’ll be taking more actions that
actually move you away from the things that you want to happen; just
like the racecar driver that looks at the wall because he’s trying to avoid
it and actually steers himself right into it.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/creating-a-drama-free-
social-life/14234

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The Person I Used To Be

“Confidence comes from practicing and doing things you enjoy.

Repetition is the mother of skill. When you do something over and over
again and constantly learn about it to enhance your knowledge and to
gain an edge, eventually you will become exceptional at it. Exceptional
passion for something makes it hard for others to take their eyes off of
what you do or to ignore you, because you are so noticeably better at it
than most are. We only work hardest at things we love and enjoy. Spend
your time developing your talent, skills and routines around a life’s
work and mission that is emotionally compelling, makes you feel alive
and like you are doing what you were put on this earth to do.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

We live in a society where everything is instant gratification. We want

success now, we want the perfect woman in our lives right now, and we
want a relationship right now. We want the perfect job right now, we
want to be CEO of the company right now, we want that business that
we started on the side to become a multi-million-dollar business
overnight. But it simply doesn't work that way in the real world. The
reality is, everything you want to accomplish, everything you want to
become, everything you want to experience, it takes time. Oprah
Winfrey's got a great quote, she said “You can have it all, you just can't
have it all at once.”

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There is a process to get from where you are to where you want to be.
If you're overweight and you want to be in great shape and have a great
physique, you don't walk into the gym and do one workout and then
walk out looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger used to look like when
he was Mr. Olympia. You’ve got to take your time and you’ve got to
be patient. Life moves incrementally, really slow towards the things that
you want, and if you're going to spend your time doing something, you
need to spend it doing something you're passionate about, you’re
curious about, that you're excited about, and that's emotionally
compelling to you. That's the only way you'll have the internal fire to
become obsessed over it.

When you're obsessed over something, when you look at somebody like
Tom Brady and all the amazing things that he's accomplished in his
career, he's obsessed about football and being a quarterback, unlike
anybody that has ever played the game prior to him. He takes
unbelievable care of his body, he's unbelievably strict with his diet, and
his routines that he goes through and the trainers that he works with,
he’s just simply willing to spend more time. If you've ever seen any
interviews with him, he always talks about how much he loves football,
and if he didn't have football, he wouldn’t know what to do with his
life. He is a man who has always known what he wanted.

One of the things that I love is when he got drafted, he told Bob Kraft,
the owner of the New England Patriots, that it was the best decision he
had ever made to draft him. Now, keep in mind, he was a seventh-round
draft pick. He didn't go number one. So, when he went in the seventh
round, if you look at pictures of him, his physique, he didn't even look

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like he exercised or was even an athlete. He just looked like a regular,
tall dude that was, he actually kind of looked like he was out of shape,
but he is absolutely the best quarterback to ever play the game.

So, whatever you choose to do in your life and however you choose to
spend your time, think about it. If you don't have something that your
passionate enough in the same way that Tom Brady is passionate about
football, then keep looking, keep searching until you do find it. When
you find the right thing, it's going to light you up on the inside and you'll
know it, you'll feel in your bones.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-person-i-used-to-
be/30843

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Are You Open To Dating?

“Attracting an amazing person into your life to love you is a direct result
of being ready, willing and able to be loved, as well as knowing how to
interact with members of the opposite sex in ways that trigger sexual
attraction. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, so people
will naturally be drawn to you when you encounter them along the
journey of your life. If you are happy with your life and you have come
to a place where you unconditionally love and accept yourself, you’ll
create the space and opportunity for the right person to show up, to love
you, and be loved by you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

In order to get what you want in your personal life you have to do the
work on yourself. It doesn't mean that you have to have achieved all
your goals and dreams and be wealthy and successful, but you’ve got
to at least have a vision for what you want, know why you want it, and
be taking action in order to make that a reality. It also means taking care
of yourself, working out, looking good physically. And if you work out
and look good physically, you can wear tighter fitting clothes that show
off your physique, you’re going to be happier, women are going to
notice you more, you’re going to smile more.

If you’ve got a great social life, if you got great friends, if you live in a
great area—that when you're not working and you leave your house and
there's lots of the kind of social activities and things that you want to do
around there—that's what's going to put you in a place where you’re

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most attractive, versus some guy that's miserable, hates himself, hates
his life, doesn't like where he lives, doesn't like the people that he's
hanging out with. You’ve got to take care of you first. It's like one of
my favorite Jim Rohn quotes; he said, “I'll take care of me for you, and
you take care of you for me.”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/are-you-open-to-
dating/13756

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She Wasn’t Interested

“A non-attached attitude and demeanor is one of the greatest tools you

can use to raise the quality of people in your personal and professional
life and get what you really want. People who are used to getting what
they want never really have to go out of their way to convince others of
their value. Their value is self-evident. People who are not used to
getting what they want, try too hard to force things to happen for them,
instead of letting them happen. Go where you’re wanted and celebrated,
not simply tolerated.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Too many people are worried about what other people think. I
remember when I was in my early 20s, it's like you still kind of have
that approval-seeking mindset from high school where you want people
to like you, you want to be accepted. And when you’ve got people that
you admire and you look up to, but they’re kind of shit-birds, you put
up with their bad behavior, because you want and you care about their
acceptance and their validation. This puts you in a very weak position,
because you're seeking their attention and validation, and you're making
your happiness dependent upon the acceptance of somebody else. And
the reality is, in life, most people are going to have an opinion on how
you should be, how you should show up, and if you're trying to live
your life according to other people's expectations, somebody is always
going to be disappointed and not happy with it. That's why it's so

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important to have your own personal motivations for why you do what
you do in life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/she-wasnt-
interested/34534

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I Don’t Know Myself Anymore

“Strong emotions and feelings of love often blind us and prevent our
seeing people and situations for what they really are. When you love
someone, you care for him or her despite any glaring flaws. Nobody is
perfect after all, and everyone has flaws. Physical attraction does not
automatically make someone a good match or a compatible lover. Since
most people in society tend to settle for people who are less than their
ideal, they often stick around longer than they should, hoping things
will change or they can change the other person. When you think about
your best friends and how easy it is to get along with them in an
effortless way, common sense should make it obvious that unless a
lover is easy to get along and communicate with, they simply are not a
good match, and you should move on and continue your search. Fear of
the future, fear that you won’t find anyone better, fear of being alone,
etc., are lies and illusions made up by our monkey brains that must be
ignored in order to break free and reach our full potential.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

If you've allowed a lot of people into your life who really don't belong
there, and you've become a people pleaser because you're worried about
gaining their acceptance, and their love, and their support, what
happens over time is you end up bending yourself into a pretzel to
please everybody else, but you end up losing yourself in the process.
And then, you wake up one day realizing you don't like who you’ve

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become, you don't like your life, you don't like the people that are in
your life, you don't like the people that you work with, you don't like
where you work. And so, that's why it's really important to know who
you are, what you want, why you want it and have emotionally
compelling reasons why you want it. And, therefore, you're always
going to be sorting and qualifying the people that you allow into your
inner circle.

Because the reality is, in life, people are going to come and go. Some
people, you're just going to simply grow apart from. Some people are
going to move away, and you’ll just slowly, over time, lose touch with.
That's why if you know who you are, you know what you want, you
know why you want it and you have emotionally compelling reasons
why you want it, you’ll always be able to measure the results that you're
getting and notice whether or not the people who are in your life are
adding value or they’re negative energy vampires that you need to
increase your distance from.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-dont-know-myself-
anymore/25256

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Are You Co-Dependent?

“If you are constantly putting your needs last to the needs of everyone
else around you or tend to have or become involved in relationships that
are one-sided, destructive or abusive, then you may be codependent.
Dysfunctional families tend to ignore that problems exist. When this
happens, family members learn to repress their own emotions and
disregard their own needs. They don’t talk, touch, feel, confront or trust.
Codependent people tend to have a low self-esteem and seek
circumstances, events or people outside of themselves to be happy.
When you look for happiness outside of yourself and depend upon the
approval or love of others, you often will be disappointed and unhappy
when people do not live up to your expectations. Loving yourself,
putting your needs first and booting toxic or abusive people out of your
life will help your overall sense of happiness and wellbeing.
Professional counseling and therapy can also be tremendously
beneficial and helpful to getting free of codependency and unhealthy
tendencies for good.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is from the article, “Are You Co-Dependent?”

So, what I see a lot in my phone sessions that I do with clients is I often
do phone sessions with guys that are getting involved with women that
they shouldn't be; women that have problems, women that create issues,
women that have drug or other addiction problems. And when they
come from an environment where there is somebody in their

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background, a close family member, that had some kind of drug or
addiction problem—like attracts like. And so, what tends to happen is
they tend to attract the same kind of people into their life that they are
emotionally anchored to.

And I often tease guys, I make fun of them, it’s kind of like Captain
Save-A-Hoe; they’re trying to fix somebody because they are used to
that because of the type of environment that they grew up in. They’re
used to trying to cover up or make excuses for somebody that's got a lot
of dysfunctional behaviors, and so they start dating toxic women that
display these same kinds of behaviors and covering up in the same way,
and it’s just simply not healthy.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/are-you-
codependent/17206

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I Feel Like I’m Dying Inside!

“Becoming attached to an outcome we want or a lover we want to love

us will cause us unnecessary suffering. Why? When we want reality to
be other than it is, we suffer. We in essence are attached emotionally to
a fantasy, instead of the reality of the way things are. It is only once we
accept reality or our life’s circumstances, that we can heal and let go of
people, places and circumstances that are no more and that no longer
serve us. Once we let go of what was, only then can we move on to
create something new and better. If it was meant to be, it would have
been. Everything happens in life to help you grow into the fullness of
who you were meant to be. It’s only in looking back that we can see
that everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

This is a big problem for most people. We tend to suffer tremendously

because we’re living in the future or we’re living in the past, instead of
living in the present moment, which is really the only moment that
exists, and putting our heads down and taking action and moving
towards the things that we want. Because, again, if we don't accept our
present circumstances, whether it's we’re broke, or we’re only in our
second year of college and we plan on being a doctor someday, and
you’ve got 8-10 years of school and residency, and then you’ve got to
get out and get some experience, and then eventually you get several
years of experience, then you open up your own practice.

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And so, you look at the big mountain that you’ve got to climb, and you
go “God, it’s just so huge.” And then you get overwhelmed by the fact
that it’s going to take years or even decades to get from where you are
to where you want to be, and then you take no action at all, because you
form this perception in your mind that it's going to be really unpleasant
to do the things you need to do to get to where you need to be. But if
you break big goals down into little daily goals, and you just focus on
what you need to do today before you put your head down on your
pillow at night to go to sleep, that's all you can do. Because if you're not
doing anything and you're not taking any action, your mind forms a
perception. You start living in the future and worrying about what may
or may not happen.

But when you put your head down and you start taking action, you get
so busy taking action that you can’t think about the future or the past,
because you're just trying to focus on the task at hand. So, when you're
in those moments and you’re suffering, worrying about the future,
worrying that you’re not going to be loved, worrying about that
relationship that didn’t work out—you're not doing what's necessary to
move your life forward.

The juice of life is living in the present moment. And what always will
help you get refocused in the present moment is taking action; asking
yourself the kind of questions like, “What do I need to do right now,
today? What do I have to get done at this moment to move myself
forward?” And if you're busy all day taking action, then when you go
to sleep at night, you’re going to feel peaceful, you’re going to feel

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relaxed, because you took action and you made things happen, and
tomorrow is a new day. And you just do the same thing over and over
and over again. It goes back to that old analogy: “How do you eat an
elephant? One bite at a time.”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-feel-like-im-dying-
inside/14005

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Is She Playing Me?

“As a man, if you don’t know who you are, what you want, why you
want it and are vague and unclear in your intentions, you will attract
women who jerk you around and confuse you. You attract how you act.
If you are too afraid to stand up for yourself, because you fear losing
people from your life, you will attract women and other people who
will treat you like a doormat. Why? If you don’t value yourself, your
time and what you have to offer, nobody else will either.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

This is why it's so important to be outcome-focused in life. Having a

list, whether it's for a job, a business you want to create, a lifestyle that
you’d love to create, material things that you'd love to have in your life,
or the ideal woman, it's always good to make a list of all of the qualities,
the aspects, the circumstances, the features, the things that you desire
most. Because then, that is your vision, and with your vision then you
can set about the task of making it a reality.

And so, life becomes about circulating and looking for the right ideal
match for what you’re seeking. If you tolerate mediocrity and you don't
really know or are unsure of what it is that you want; it's like, nobody
goes to the airport and hops on a plane or any random plane without
first buying a ticket and knowing where they’re going, where they're
going to stay when they get there. We do that in traveling, but when it

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comes to our own life and who we’re going to date, who we’re going
to be in friendship with, who we’re going to work for, the type of clients
we want to have, we often are just glad to have somebody.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/is-she-playing-
me/36576

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He’s No Longer A Spineless Pleaser

“Falling in love is a beautiful thing! When two people meet whose

goals, values, interests, life paths and hobbies are aligned, the
possibility for a love story to blossom is great. In order for the love story
to turn into a long-term relationship, both people must be ready, willing,
able, open and wanting to create a love story. If both people are
comfortable in their own skin, love themselves and their lives as
individuals, happy being single but looking to meet someone, working
at something they enjoy and preferably love for a living, and if they
respect themselves, their freedom and the freedom of others, then they
will be able to allow a relationship to effortlessly grow and blossom
without trying to force things. Love and relationships must be allowed
to happen naturally without using force, manipulation or control. Force,
manipulation and control will always lead to the loss of sexual
attraction and to the dissolution of a relationship.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

The key is to not be attached to your outcome, not be attached to a

certain person being that answer that you’ve been waiting for. You
always want to be kind of skeptical. You always want to just have a
“wait and see” kind of attitude, instead of automatically declaring that
that person, or that circumstance, or that job opportunity is exactly the
right one that you’ve been waiting for. It's always good to explore and
have other options, because when you have multiple choices and

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multiple options, it's easy to be in a non-attached state. And when you're
not attached, you kind of sit back and watch and see what other people
do. And, based upon their actions, then you can make intelligent,
informed decisions.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/hes-no-longer-a-
spineless-pleaser/17264

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 Healthy Boundaries

Never Compromise Your Principles

“Being a people pleaser is weak and Beta. Being Alpha means standing
up for yourself, what you believe in and being unwilling to compromise
your values and principles just to please others. Being a people pleaser
is the hallmark of the nice guy Beta male women love as friends, but
never as romantic partners and lovers. A woman cannot fully love and
submit to a man whose masculine core she does not trust. She has to
know that if she pushes you too far, that you will walk and never look
back. Being a man is about doing what is right, even when doing what’s
right is upsetting and offensive to others. Women don’t respect men
who are too weak to stand up for themselves and what they believe in.
If she doesn’t respect you, she can never love you.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

This is so important in all of your relationships, that you’ve got to set

and enforce healthy boundaries. And people who continually violate
them, as they say in jujitsu, you have to manage the distance between
you and them. In other words, you remove yourself from their presence,
you just simply spend less time around them—whether it's a woman
you're dating, or somebody that you think is a friend, or maybe you've
got clients that are abusive. If people don't treat you the way you want
to be treated, you have to look at them as replaceable, because if you

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love and you value yourself, you're simply not going to be spending
your time with people that are taking you for granted and mistreating
you. You're going to go find people that will celebrate you and be glad
that you are there.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/never-compromise-
your-principles/35273

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Women Love Me For Who I Am

“Everyone loves to be around happy, positive and fun, loving people.

Why? Everyone wants to feel good and be around other people who
make them feel good. If your peer group is full of insecure, fearful,
grumpy, unhappy, miserable and pessimistic people, they will try to
keep you at their level, so they feel good about themselves, their choices
and their mediocre life. Misery really does love company. If you decide
that you will be happy, look for the gift in every experience, and live
only in the present moment with an attitude of gratitude for whatever
shows up, you will literally focus on and change what and who you look
at. You will effortlessly attract other like-minded happy people who
will add to and expand your happiness. When you start to love and
accept yourself and no longer tolerate people of low energy who only
try to bring you down in your life, you will start to attract an abundance
of other like-minded people who love and accept themselves, and who
love and accept you for who you are. The good news is that there is
nothing you need to do or become in order to achieve this state of love,
abundance, happiness and self-acceptance. It’s simply a perspective
change to willfully choose to express outward that which is already
within you right now.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I, oftentimes, when I'm doing coaching sessions and the guy is really
struggling —the woman is being bitchy, or she's being difficult to get
along with—and instead of staying in a playful and fun state, as if he

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were the driver of the fun bus or the king of his kingdom, he gets caught
up in using logic and reason and trying to apologize for himself or
apologize for upsetting her. The best way to be, in those particular
situations, especially if your woman is being in a bad mood and she's
being a little nasty to you and she's being inappropriate, is to go with
the flow and diffuse it with humor and playfulness. Kind of like the
attitude of, you think it's kind of cute that she's upset or in a bad mood
and you tease her about it. “I love it when you act this way,” “God, it’s
so sexy when you're mean to me,” “I think you should fuck me like you
hate me,” things of that nature, where you just tease her.

You know, if she's grumpy, it’s like “God, I fucking love it when you're
in a good mood like this.” Or you're talking to a group of girls and one
of them acts like she doesn't like you, and you point to her friend like,
“Is she always like this? Is she always this pleasant? How long have
you guys known her? Did you just meet her?” That's the kind of attitude
that you want to have. In other words, you're the king of your kingdom;
you've decided ahead of time that you’re going to be happy, that things
are going be great, that things are going to go well, and if somebody
shows up with a shitty attitude, you’re going to tease them and you're
going to mess with them. Because you've decided that you're the man
and you're just not going to put up with it.

It’s not that you’re going to be a dick, but you’re going to tease her and
call her out in a fun, playful way, letting her know that her behavior, or
her attitude, or the way she's treating you is inappropriate. And,
obviously, sometimes she may just stay on that and decide that she's
going to be a bitch or she's going to be an ass to you, and that's when,

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if you’ve set those healthy boundaries and yet she still wants to violate
them, that you're going to have to give her the gift of missing you, and
say, “You know what, you're, obviously, not in the place where you
want to talk things out in a loving and open manner, and I don't like
how you’re treating me right now. So, I'm going to take off, I’m going
to go hang out with the guys,” “I’m going to go have a beer,” “I’m going
to go to the gym,” “I’m going to go for a run,” whatever it happens to
be, “and when you're ready to talk and be nice and sweet to me, we’ll
work it out, and we'll talk it out, and I'll see you later.” And then, you
leave.

Because she starts to recognize that she's pushing you too far, and now
you're leaving. And if you do this consistently… I had a phone session
with a guy the other day and he's actually a Muslim from the Middle
East and he's got two wives. You think you have problems with one
woman, this guy has got two wives. And his first wife is sweet as pie,
easy-going, easy to get along with. And he's got a younger wife, his
newest wife, she’s really hot, but she also can be kind of bitchy and
insecure. And the problem is because he really loves her, and he really
cares about her, and he loves having sex with her, he turns into an ass-
kissing pleaser. And she's even come right out and told him that he
should leave when she's treating him this way.

And so, he's got two different households: he’s got one with his first
wife, in an apartment where she lives, and his second wife has her own
apartment as well, and so he kind of spends his time between both of
them. I said, “The problem is you're not setting healthy boundaries

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consistently,” because he would do it two or three times, and then he
thinks, “Hey, this is it. I fixed the problem.” And then, things are good
for three or four weeks, and the younger, bitchier girl—who comes
from a little bit more of a kind of a dysfunctional family where the
mother is a hothead, and she flies off the handle and starts yelling at the
husband—what I pointed out was that he's just not consistently holding
her accountable. And so, for two or three times in a row, he’ll hold her
accountable, and he’ll leave, he’ll go spend more time with his first
wife, and then her attitude will totally change, and she’ll become sweet
as pie and nice again.

But the mistake he's making is that he just continues on allowing her to
abuse him, and then he’s displaying weakness, and then she actually
becomes even bitchier. And once I pointed that out, he realized that this
is the medicine you give her every time: if you’re sweet, you get my
time; if you’re bitchy and you're not nice to me, I'm just going to go
spend time with the first wife, and I know she loves to see me more.
And that will solve the problem. Not that everybody’s going to have
two wives here in the West, but the idea is you cannot tolerate it,
because especially with women, you're displaying weakness when
you're allowing somebody else to abuse you.

And it's not just your woman; it could be her mother, or her sister, or
your own mother, or other friends or relatives that want to be abusive
to you or her. You’ve got to set healthy boundaries, because if you
tolerate it from her or anybody else, you’re inviting her and other people
to do more of it. And then, she's going to lose respect for you because
you don't stand up for yourself or her consistently.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/women-love-me-for-
who-i-am/17102

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Choosing The Wrong Person

“Everyone has flaws, personality quirks and rough edges that need to
be smoothed out and improved. The more we invest in ourselves to
become better human beings, the better friends, lovers and teammates
we will be to other people. Before you can become better, you must first
be humble enough to recognize that you don’t have all the answers and
need to improve and get better. Unfortunately, most other human beings
you will encounter in your life journey won’t be as ready, willing, able
or open to self-improvement as you might be. Therefore, after you have
gently and lovingly encouraged those in your personal and professional
life to treat you differently, but they still refuse to modify their behavior,
increasing the distance between them, you and your inner circle is
absolutely essential to maintaining a drama free life.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

A great philosophy and a great mindset to have towards life is a

willingness to allow yourself to become a beginner again every day,
looking at each day as a new opportunity. It's like you have a clean slate
every day. Every morning you start out, the slate is completely clean. It
doesn't matter what you did or didn't do last week or last month or even
up to five minutes ago; the only thing that matters is what you do right
now to take action to move your life forward. And most people just
simply aren't going to be willing to do that. And so, if you're the high-
achieving type, like you are, obviously, if you're reading and listening

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to this type of book, you’ve got to remember that most of the people
that you're going to encounter don't have the guts that you do—they
don't have the internal strength that you do or the willingness to try to
improve their life.

And we all go through life looking to justify our life choices and our
reasons of why we live the way we live and believe what we believe.
And if you're acting differently, if you're going for the dreams that you
want and you're surrounded by people that are too weak to do that,
they’re going to try to discourage you and get you to behave more like
them, because your example makes them uncomfortable. Your example
of going for what you want reminds them of how small they’re playing
in their own lives. And if they're able to demoralize you and get you to
quit and give up like they have, then they will continue to feel validated
for their life choices.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/choosing-the-wrong-
person/34809

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Dating A Married Woman

“People who love and value themselves do not interact for very long
with people who do not reciprocate love and treat them properly. They
treat others as they want to be treated and won’t tolerate not being
treated the way they want. When it comes to dating, there are people in
this world who will cheat on their spouses, cheat on you and give you
false hope of a real relationship once their situation changes. Never
delude yourself into thinking you will change someone or cause a
dishonorable person to somehow become honorable and faithful. Look
at what people do, not what they say. If they cheat with you on their
current partner, given the right circumstances, they will eventually
cheat on you also and they will feel zero remorse for behaving this way.
They truly believe everyone is a liar and a cheater also. It’s simply who
they are. Believe people when they show you who they are through their
actions, or you will suffer unnecessarily.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you want a woman who has integrity, who will be loyal and faithful
to you, that's why, in the initial stages of dating, you're going to want to
ask questions of them to tell you a little bit about their family history,
especially ask them what their relationship with their father and their
mother is like, and what kind of relationship their parents have. Ask
them what kind of relationship they're looking for. You can even ask
them if they've ever been cheated on or cheated on anybody that they
were with.

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Because, if you're dating a woman and you’re two or three dates in, and
she's telling you that she's cheated with just about every guy she's ever
been with, but you think because your connection is so strong, that
you’re going to somehow be different; what she's telling you is how
she's going to operate. This is part of the prequalification process. Just
because she's beautiful and got a great body, and you vibe with her, and
she's easygoing and easy to get along with, if she has no track record of
being faithful to any of her past boyfriends, lovers, or husbands, and
especially if she comes from a family of liars and cheaters, it's totally
delusional to think that you're going to somehow be different and that
she’ll be loyal and faithful to you just because you're a great guy.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-a-married-
woman/30438

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My Feminist Man-Hating Girlfriend

“Feminism originally was a great movement that came about in the

early 20th century in order to help women earn the right to vote, earn
equal rights as men and no longer be treated like they were property,
objects or second-class citizens. However, modern day feminism often
takes the women’s liberation movement to unhealthy extremes. You
can see this in most television programs and movies. Men are generally
portrayed as being stupid, inept, weak, feminine, and often as having
little use other than being sperm donors. This has created an imbalance
and blurring of the masculine and feminine roles in relationships. Many
women who are devout feminists tend to act too masculine and
domineering. This ruins the sexual polarity between men and women
and causes unnecessary conflict in relationships. If you find yourself
dating a beautiful but feminazi woman, who is determined to be the
leader or man in your relationship, you’re never going to feel
comfortable, centered or very happy unless you are a very feminine
man. If you are a very masculine man, and your natural essence is
masculine energy, you should avoid dating feminazi women and only
date women who are extremely feminine and looking for a strong man
who they are eager to submit to once he demonstrates himself to be
worthy.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

What you often see with women who declare themselves as feminists
is their appearance is masculine, they tend to be angry and grumpy, and

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when you get to know them, the reality is, the overwhelming majority
of them do not come from healthy families where the father is healthy
and masculine, the mother is healthy and feminine, and they have a
good balance of sexual polarity and the roles were clearly defined in the
household.

What you see with a lot of these women are women that have daddy
issues. This is why it's so important when you're first starting to date a
woman is, ask her to tell you about her relationship with her parents,
and also ask her to tell you about the relationship that her parents have
with each other. Do they talk things out? Do they stay up all night if
there’s a problem and work it out if they have to, so they don't go to bed
angry? Do they see themselves as teammates and allies, or is there a lot
of conflict? Because the reality is, is that we’re all products of our
environment, and if a woman grows up and doesn't have a strong,
balanced, masculine presence in her life and a strong, balanced,
feminine, healthy presence in her life, she's going to be unbalanced and
unhealthy. And these women tend to be pissed off, grumpy, angry, and
they fall victim to this feminist type of movement where they're just
pissed off and they hate men, men are horrible, men are misogynists.
And it's just because they never learned how to interact with men
properly, which men are trustworthy, and which men are not.

So, before you get too far down the road, it's always good to ask her
about her family: “Do you have a good relationship with your dad? Tell
me about your relationship with your dad. Are your parents still
together? What are their relationships like?” Now, it doesn't mean that

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every single girl that grew up without a father, without a good, strong
father-figure, is a total lunatic, but it does mean that the overwhelming
majority of them are going to be this way, because very few people are
willing to put in the time and do the work to overcome their traumas
from their childhood.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/my-feminist-man-
hating-girlfriend/18579

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Dating Women Whose Exes Want Them Back

“Freedom is one of the keys to maintaining love and increasing

attraction. Two people who come together to share their completeness
will always form a stronger and more stable love bond than two people
who feel like they are missing something internally and seeking it in
another. Why? When you seek the approval, love and acceptance of
another as your reason to feel loved, validated, happy, whole and
complete yourself, you set yourself up to constantly feel rejected,
unloved and unappreciated because your happiness hinges upon the
actions of your lover matching your expectations. The reality is most
people will never live up to your high expectations.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

This is really important if you’ve met a woman who was recently out
of a relationship and she was the one to end it, but yet her ex still wants
her back. In her particular situation, she has abundance; she has you,
she has the ex that wants her back, and more than likely, she's got a few
other male orbiters that also would like the opportunity to date her. And
so, in that particular situation, whoever is the most mysterious, the
hardest to figure out, the guy that she's the most curious about, the one
who gives her the most freedom, is going to be the one she chooses in
the end. What happens in these, it's counterintuitive, because you think
as a man, “I’ve got to make this happen.” Well, every other guy's trying
to make this happen and trying to force it.

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Remember, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, “You must love in such a way
that the person you love feels free.” So, if you have a “take it or leave
it” kind of attitude, you'd like to date her but there's an ex in the picture,
there’s other guys that are trying to date her, she has lots of male
orbiters, she might not even really be that great of a catch. She might
be really insecure and needs to have lots of different men in her life,
because usually in those instances, she didn't have that strong father
presence, masculine presence, when she was growing up. And so, what
happens is, she starts testing the shit out of all the guys in her life to see
who the most masculine and dominant one is, and it's usually the one
who seems to be less invested out of all of the guys.

So, as she tests the other man—she takes too long to return their calls,
or their text messages, or replying to their emails, whatever it happens
to be—and you're taking time to get back to her, because you have other
choices and options in your life, and the ex and the other male orbiters
are desperate to get with her, they’re all in a scarcity mindset. Well, if
you're in an abundance mindset, you're kind of matching and mirroring
where she is at vibrationally. And if you're really not trying that hard to
get with her, you’re extending invitations and giving her the
opportunity to accept or decline them and you’re cool either way, as she
tests these other guys and they display their weakness and neediness,
they will literally chase her right into your arms.

And that's why, especially in these situations, the last thing you want to
do is be trying to lock her down to a commitment, because she's already
got several other guys doing that. And what this does is cause her to

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move towards you and try to lock you down to a commitment. And this
way, from a leverage perspective, you’re holding all the cards.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-women-whose-
exs-want-them-back/13959

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She Flirts With Other Guys

“Something all men and women need to develop within themselves is

emotional self-control. Human beings tend to act upon their emotions
and then use logic and reason to justify their actions. That is why all
advertising is geared towards eliciting an emotional response within
you. By forming an emotional connection between you and the product
or service being advertised, advertisers can influence you emotionally,
and therefore cause you to use logic and reason to justify and talk
yourself into purchasing that product or service that you don’t really
want or need. When it comes to our relationships, we must constantly
remind ourselves to remain objective and look at the other person’s
actions, even though emotionally we want to believe them and buy what
they’re trying to sell us. If you can discipline yourself to remain
objective and look at the other person’s actions to base your decisions
and actions upon, then you will save yourself a lot of heartache,
heartbreak and suffering from buyer’s remorse.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

It's really important to understand how media, and people, and the
things you desire influence you emotionally. If you think about some
of the most intense action movies that you watch in theaters, especially
the modern ones with the loud music, the tension building music, the
tension releasing music, it anchors you to the characters in the scenes
and what's going on. And I’ve walked out of many of those movies,
especially in the last 10-15 years, where I find myself gripping the

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armrests on my chair, I walk out, I’m all sweaty, I’ve got sweat on my
brow, and it’s just because it's such an intense experience, it's an
emotional roller coaster.

And especially when it comes to relationships and you’re dating

somebody you really like and you’re really into, and you get your
emotions involved, your emotions will tend to overwhelm your logic
and reason and cause you to spend time with people that you really
shouldn't be spending time with, because you're triggering your
emotions. And, because your emotions are so heavily triggered, you
talk yourself into doing things you shouldn't do and you go along with
things that you shouldn’t put up with, because now, you're in a fearful
state and you fear losing that person that you really, emotionally are
anchored to and desire to have them love you or like you back.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/she-flirts-with-other-
guys/18330

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The Player Vs. Mr. Right

“Everyone wants to live happily ever after. It can be extremely difficult

when you are single, whether you are a man or a woman, to remain
patient, objective, and see people for what and who they really are. Men
and women both tend to live in their heads and project their fantasies of
the way they would like the people in their lives or their circumstances
to be, and often ignore the reality of the way things really are. It’s
extremely difficult to leave a relationship when you are with someone
who is great in so many ways, but deep down you know that the
relationship no longer serves you, to become single again and resume
your search for Mr. or Mrs. Right. There is value in every person, event,
or circumstance that you get to experience in life. Everything that
happens to you in life is in response to your goals and intentions shaping
the forces around you, in order to get you ready for the manifestation
of your grandest goals and dreams. By staying focused on your highest
expectations and goals, instead of the current people and circumstances
that are presently in your life, you will enable yourself to continue
circulating and moving forward towards what you want, so you don’t
get sidetracked and settle for someone or something that is less than
what you truly deserve.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Most people don't like being single, and they're desperate to find
somebody. The reality is, most of the people that you're going to meet
and date, you're either not going to like them or they're not going to like

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you. And sometimes you're going to encounter people that like you and
you like them, but they're really not knocking your socks off. But
because you're tired of waiting for it to happen, you start telling yourself
a story— “This is the right person, it's finally happening”—and you talk
yourself into it. You, in essence, you bullshit yourself because of the
thought of continuing your search.

Because the reality is, very few of your dating prospects are really going
to jive with you, and then when you get one that semi kind of jives,
you're ready to just call it a day and say, “That's it, check, please. I'll
take this one.” And even though it's not what you really want—and the
same thing with the job—if you're desperate to find a job, and you get
two or three job offers, but you're not really that excited about them,
but you're desperate for a paycheck, you'll talk yourself into taking that
mediocre, average job. And then the pain of that experience of the time
from where your last job ended and your new one started, you don't
want to experience that again. And so, you associate pain with
searching, or you associate pain with being single, or you associate pain
with not having enough great friends; and so, you tolerate average,
mediocre people and circumstances in your life.

Circulation is the key to the universe, after all. If you continue to

circulate and you continue to prospect, eventually, you're going to come
across someone or something or a set of circumstances that are going
to light you up in the inside. And they're going to be lit up on the inside,
whether it's a new girl, or a new employer that's excited to have you
working for them, and you're excited the work there; or a new friend,

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you're excited to hang out with them, they’re excited to hang out with
you; or a great whale of a client, if you will, you're excited to have them
as a client, they're excited to have you taking care of them as their client.

You’ve got to keep searching and you’ve got to learn to trust your
internal compass, your intuition, your curiosity and what feels right;
and if it doesn't feel right, you’ve got to have the strength to keep
searching and keep looking. Because, at the end of the day, you found
somebody that was better than most, but they weren't quite all the way,
and if you just give up now, then you’re settling for less than what
you're capable of.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-player-vs-mr-
right/18951

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Is She Testing, Or Wasting My Time?

“No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them
to do. If you allow someone to come into your life, start jerking you
around and you continue to tolerate their bad behavior, you are asking
them to do it to you again. By your tolerance of their bad behavior, you
enable and invite them to continue mistreating you. If it’s a lover you
really want, a job you want, a business deal you want to close, a new
friend you want to have, a rock star employee you want to hire, etc.,
you must have a point that if they push you too far, you will walk and
never look back. In every negotiation in life, and make no mistake about
it, life is a constant stream of negotiations, you must know your
outcome and the minimum terms you are willing to accept before
walking away from the deal or relationship. If you don’t, you will
perpetually be disappointed, not get what you want and have people
walking all over you. You don’t get what you deserve in life, only what
you negotiate.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Whatever vibe you put out into the universe, you're sending a signal
and a vibration to the universe that this is what you want, and the
universe responds accordingly. Good or bad. It doesn't matter whether
the things are good for you or bad for you, if you're putting that negative
vibe out there and you’re tolerating people that treat you negatively,
treat you like a doormat, and treat you harshly, other people that are
also weak are going to come into your life and project their self-hatred

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and self-loathing onto you because you're absorbing that from them. If
they can disassociate from this negativity, this self-hating and self-
loathing, and put it onto you, and label you, and give you harsh
criticism, and you just put up with it, you're actually making them feel
good about themselves and you’re enabling their bad behavior. And this
encourages them to continue to go through life and do that to other
people.

But when you set healthy boundaries and you hold other people
accountable, and you don't tolerate bullshit for any period of time, they
will quickly learn that the way they're showing up and the way they're
treating other people is not going to get them the results that they desire.
And even though you have to boot these people out of your life, often
permanently, eventually—when enough people do that to them—they
will recognize, (hopefully sooner rather than later), that they need to
change their approach and need to change their behavior.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/is-she-testing-or-
wasting-my-time/17154

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What Does She Want from Me?

“Relationships that did not work out the first time around, are not likely
to work out the second time around. When two people get back together
after messy breakups, the problem is that all of the reasons that turned
you off in the first place are still there. Ignoring the fact that you don’t
get along, communication sucks, you’re bored, they irritate you, etc.,
does not make these truths go away. You can’t ignore the consequences
of ignoring reality.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

As they say, “You never get a second chance to make a first

impression.” The reality is, if it didn't work the first time around, it's
probably not going to work the second time around. However, if a guy
is in a relationship with a woman, whether it's his girlfriend, or his wife,
or his long-term relationship that he's been in, and he's been going
through a difficult time or maybe he's just been displaying a lot of really
unattractive behaviors, but he really loves her and she, at one point, was
really in love with him, he can rekindle that by displaying the type of
behaviors that I talk about my first book, How To Be A 3% Man.

And when he starts turning things around and displaying attractive

behaviors, then he’s able to re-attract the woman that he turned off, and
start to put things back together again, and allow the woman to start to
fall back in love slowly over time. Because it takes time for a woman
to fall in love, it also takes time for a woman to fall out of love. And

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once she's fallen out of love, you have to go through the same process
all over again to get her to slowly fall back in love with you, over time.
That's why, if you're in a situation where you're trying to re-attract an
ex, that you have to let her come to you at her pace, especially if she's
the one that dumped you and you're in a position of going no contact,
where you’re moving on with your life and assuming it's over and
you're never going to hear from her again, and you start moving towards
creating a space and reestablishing your life and your lifestyle to create
a space for somebody great to fill.

What happens when you do this is you start displaying these attractive,
masculine characteristics to make yourself attractive—not only to her,
to your ex, but to other women in general. And when you start to see
that the ex is starting to feel attraction and is starting to reach back out,
but yet you're still single and dating other women, the other women that
you’re dating will also see you as attractive, and then you get multiple
women competing for your attention and your time. This helps you be
confident and slightly cocky, slightly humorous, and be okay with
getting back together or finding someone better. One of the things I
always say to guys in my videos and in my book is that if they're trying
to get an ex back, you'll either get her back, or you'll find and attract
somebody better.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/what-does-she-want-
from-me/13700

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Difficult & Toxic Women

“Human beings make buying decisions and romantic decisions based

upon emotion and use logic and reason to justify their choices. Quality
people are easygoing, easy to be with, easy to get along with, easy to
communicate with and flexible. Low quality people are demanding,
difficult, manipulative, inflexible, passive aggressive and are
perpetually focused on sandbagging your happiness and success. Good
people build you up, while toxic people tear you down. If you have a
low opinion of yourself, then you’ll attract toxic people who justify
your beliefs. If you have a high opinion of yourself, then you simply
won’t tolerate toxic or abusive people and will actually repel them
instead. The best thing you can do for yourself and your self-esteem is
to focus on getting to a blissful and happy place first, then you will
attract people into your life who match and mirror your positive
perception, versus being unhappy and trying to attract people who make
you happy. You can’t attract happy people who add value to your life
without being happy first. The most important relationship you will
ever have in life is the relationship that you have with yourself.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

It's interesting, as I'm sitting here in the studio going through this
particular quote and I have one of my social media posts, this particular
one happened to be political. I'm more conservative, libertarian,
individualist minded; I'm all about self-reliance, relying upon yourself

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and your ability to accomplish all your goals and dreams. In other
words, the buck in my life stops with me. Anything that's in my life, it's
there because I chose it, or I attracted it through my actions. And what's
interesting is, when I post things that are more conservative-leaning and
you have people that are more left-leaning, I see that a lot, it's the same
behavior over and over: they use insults, they call you names, they tell
you that there's something wrong with you, they try to make you
question yourself, they try to manipulate you with their words, they try
to make you feel guilty. They’re impervious to any facts or information
that it's obvious that they simply just don't know, they say things like
“You're a racist.”

I mean, you see this in the news and the media lot. If people don't agree
with people on the left of what you see in the news and media,
everybody's labeled a racist. Because in the past, when you call
somebody a racist, then what would happen then is people go, “Oh, I
don't want to be considered a racist,” and it shuts them up. Well, they've
abused that so much that the word really has kind of lost all meaning.
Everybody that I see, I see a lot of this toxicity, and they’re absolutely
certain that they’re right. Never mind the fact that my books and my
information has completely changed their life, what they're trying to do
is make me feel bad and shame me in order to get me to change my
opinion to match theirs, because I don't agree with them politically so,
therefore, there's something wrong with me. It's okay to agree to
disagree, but this is what you're going to see in life. It’s like a
microcosm of that.

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If you're surrounded by average, mediocre people in your life and you
start working out and taking care of yourself, you start dating better
quality women, you start getting better jobs, better-paying jobs, you go
to school, you learn things, what you’re going to notice is average,
mediocre people in your life that are toxic are going to start saying the
same kind of shit to manipulate you to try to get you to conform to their
worldview. In other words, they’re telling you their story, not yours;
because remember, people, all of us, we all project what's inside of us,
and if people hate themselves and don't like themselves and they come
across somebody who believes in their own truth, who speaks their
mind without fear or apology, they're going to attack them.

In a lot of ways, they’re looking for leadership, because they’re trying

to test you to see if they can get you to conform to their level. And when
you don't, they either accept you or apologize for the way they treat
you. What I like about when I post these things that I believe in and
people get pissed off and they make a big scene about it, “I'm
unfollowing. I’ve been following for five years, and I can't believe you
posted this,” fuck ‘em. I don't need manipulative people in my life, and
if they bounce, my life actually gets better. The mute and the block
button is one of the greatest inventions on social media. And so, that's
why you just simply can't tolerate toxic people in your life. They're not
adding any value, they're trying to drag you down. They’re obstacles in
your path of getting from where you are to where you want to be.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/difficult-toxic-
women/36295

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Freedom, Jealousy, Love, Respect & Trust

“Feelings of jealousy are simply fearing that you are not good enough
to have someone love you for you. This leads to controlling behavior
when their actions do not meet your expectations. When you try to
control those you love or who you want to be loved by, they naturally
will feel an impending loss of freedom. This will lead to rejection,
arguments, drama and unnecessary problems. You must give others the
space to choose to be with you, or not. If you seek to force their hand,
manipulate them or control them into choosing you or staying with you,
your fear-based actions will make what you fear a reality, and they will
leave you to seek someone who gives them the freedom, unconditional
love and respect that they deserve.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, somebody who is jealous, say, when it comes to dating. In other

words, they're worried about what their significant other, or the person
that they're trying to make their significant other, what they're doing
and who they're doing it with while they’re away. And this portrays the
fact that they don't value themselves highly enough to trust that that
other person is going to make a mutual effort. This is what causes them
to reach out and try to control things and make the other person that
they want do what they want. But in reality, trying to control them
actually leads to the end of the relationship, or the potential relationship,
because again, they're not choosing to be with you because you're
simply not giving them enough space, time, and distance to do that. You

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have to have a “take it or leave it” kind of non-attached attitude. If they
choose you, that's awesome. If they don't, that's awesome as well,
because that allows you to create a space so somebody else who does
like you and who does choose you will actually follow through on that
and make the effort, the mutual effort, to be and remain with you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/freedom-jealousy-love-
respect-trust/16882

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Pickup, Dating, Relationships & Sex

“Attraction isn’t a choice. People who like the same things, who share
the same type of goals, values and interests, will have way more
chemistry and fun than two people who are just physically attracted to
one another. Sex is a small part of any intimate relationship. You will
have much better experiences, more fun, more fulfillment and more
enjoyment with someone who you actually like hanging out with and
listening to. Focus on picking up, dating and having relationships with
people who you have a lot of chemistry and fun with. If you do, your
personal life will be effortless and easy. If you insist on trying to pick-
up, date and seduce those who you are attracted to, but who are not that
into you, your personal life will mostly be frustrating, difficult and
disappointing. Make sure you are mutually valued and appreciated
before giving your heart away. If you don’t value your heart and what
you have to offer, nobody else will value it either.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

This quote, again, is another example of how most of us tend to project

our dating fantasy onto the person that we believe is perfect for us. A
lot of guys that don't know any better, I know speaking from personal
experience when I was younger, to me, if I just got the perfect hot girl,
my life was going to be bliss. I never considered the possibility that she
may be messed up, a lunatic, have emotional problems, mental
problems, or just be a really difficult and unpleasant person to get along

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with. These were things that I learned over the years. And as, you know,
as I can look back, now that I'm 50, upon my life, all the women I've
had great relationships with, including even my ex-wife, who was really
awesome, they all came from good families where the mom and dad
were still together, they talk things out, they work things out, they
discuss things as a family, and they solve problems together.

I've had one girlfriend in my life who I would consider to be toxic, and
she lost her father to a drug overdose when she was six years old, and
so she grew up without a father. And so, what was interesting, I
remember my housekeeper had had a conversation with her one day,
and I was out of the room, and she was complaining about men, and
she’s like, “Men are all the same,” and she was just jaded and had a
nasty worldview. And so, because she believed that all men were the
same, that deep down they were jerks and she was a victim, that was
her belief and that's how she interacted with me and her ex-husband and
every guy she had ever been with.

But, at the time, I made the mistake of dating her because she had
majored in psychology, she was big into self-help like I was, and so I
gave her the benefit of the doubt and just assumed that because she had
been into self-help as much as I was that she had overcome her issues
from childhood and would be a great person to date. And what was
interesting is, you know, she was sweet as pie the first couple of months
we were dating, and then she just kind of started in with the insults and
the belittlement: “That’s stupid. That green juice stuff is disgusting, I
would never drink that. That water ionizer that you use to filter and

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purify your water, that's a bunch of bullshit.” And she was constantly
giving little putdowns and little insults to try to make me feel bad to
manipulate me. And after about six months, I just got sick of it.

It was a valuable lesson to me as a coach, because I do this for a living,

that I see the same pattern in guys that I coach—because I’ve coached
tens of thousands of them by now at this point—and you see the same
patterns over, and over and over again. Women that have bad
relationships or nonexistent relationships with their father, your
chances of being able to have a good, healthy, easygoing, easy-to-get-
along-with type of relationship with them, the odds simply aren't in
your favor. It doesn't mean it can’t happen; it just means—in my
personal experience with the thousands of thousands of clients I've had
over the last 15+ years—it's almost impossible. And so, it's just simply
not realistic to think that you're going to be different, that things will
work out. And so, when you find out that a woman has got a bad
relationship or nonexistent relationship and didn't have a good father
figure in her life, there's a pretty good chance she's going to be toxic
and too difficult to get along with and not be a good girlfriend and
definitely not a good wife.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/pickup-dating-
relationships-sex/16903

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There’s No Chemistry & No Spark

“Approval seeking behavior in romantic relationships is the hallmark

of people who do not feel worthy of their lover’s attention. They feel
they need to make up for something they mistakenly believe that they
lack on the inside. This can manifest itself as changing one’s opinion to
match someone else’s, going along with things you don’t really want to
do in hopes that they like you, thinking you have to do something
external or give some kind of fantastic gift or ultimate date to make
them love you, allowing others to walk all over you for fear that they
will leave you if you stand up for yourself, etc. Chemistry and a
romantic spark happens as a natural byproduct of two people who are
at the same place emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, and
who are authentic, honest and respectful of themselves. They don’t hold
back and perceive themselves, and each other as a gift. They simply do
not allow or tolerate others in their lives or social circle who don’t lift
them up or who insist on keeping them small.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This happens a lot when guys meet a girl for the first time and they're
totally enamored with her beauty and her potential. And what you often
see is, if a woman says she likes a certain sports team and the guy really
likes a different sports team, and he tells her this, and she says, “Well I
don’t really like that team.” And then he turns around and says, “You
know, I don't really like them either. That quarterback, or that star
player, is kind of a jerk. And yeah, I really do kind of like the team that

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you're on, or that you root for.” It’s just simple, subtle things like that,
as she continues to talk and she notices that she's able to get him to
change his opinion to match hers, this is approval-seeking behavior. A
woman doesn't want a guy that will kiss her ass. A woman wants a guy
who's a man, who will put her in her place when she's out of line in a
respectful and playful way, and also in the bedroom, have his way and
take her passionately and do what he wants with her.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/theres-no-chemistry-
no-spark/16915

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Success Breeds Haters

“Everybody wants to be successful, but few people are willing to pay

the price and put the time in that is required to become successful. The
more successful you become, the more you will attract and draw the
scorn of jealous, envious and unsuccessful people. People tend to attack
in others either what they lack within themselves, or what other people
are connected to on the inside that they are disconnected from within
themselves. Unhappy people tend to envy, attack and ridicule happy
people; unsuccessful people tend to envy, attack and ridicule successful
people, etc. People also tend to project their unhappiness, fear, anger,
self-hatred, self-loathing and internal inadequacies onto others to feel
better about themselves. Successful people are self-reliant, self-
motivated and outcome focused. Unsuccessful people blame others for
their unhappiness or lack of success in an attempt to absolve themselves
from any personal blame or responsibility for their failures,
shortcomings and lack of success.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Having a large social media presence has given me a first-hand view of

just how many miserable and unhappy people are in the world. I mean,
if I want to feel bad about myself and my life, all I’ve got to do is go
look at my social media accounts and the comments of all the people
saying nasty things about my appearance, how they don't like my voice,
how they have a problem with my book, or my political beliefs or the
way I live my life, making personal attacks, complaining, complaining

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about my success, complaining about my financial situation. And the
reality is, like I've said before, no one will ever do or say anything to
you that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a
moment. Just remember, when somebody is being nasty to you, they
are telling you their story, not yours. Don't take any ownership of it all.
Hit the mute or the block button and you don't have to deal with them
ever again. Life is a lot more pleasant that way.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/success-breeds-
haters/24861

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 The Power Of Confidence

It’s All About Confidence

“Being successful in life and with women is really about the amount of
self-confidence you exude, how you present yourself and how you feel
about yourself. Self-confidence is doing what you know how to do and
doing it really well. Time and repetition are the keys to becoming self-
confident and an expert at something you may currently be a novice at.
Confidence is sexy to women because it communicates a willingness to
take risks, step outside of your comfort zone and a preference for
choosing to fail instead of not trying at all. All women know on some
level that a man who has self-confidence is a man who shows up in life
and makes the effort despite his fears. Men who lack self-confidence
are simply too timid, shy, weak and adverse to risk taking and failure
to get what they want. Women know that if a man can’t or won’t do
what it takes to get what he wants or to make himself happy, there is no
way he is strong enough to make her happy.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Many guys make the mistake of trying to make their woman their
therapist or their mommy. Now, it doesn't mean you can't ever talk
about your fears, your doubts, your insecurities, or your worries about
the future, but what it does mean is that you have to be able to get
yourself out of that particular state. In other words, you don't wallow in

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your sorrow, you don't just feel sorry for yourself, you don't come home
every night, and for two years in a row, complain to your girlfriend or
your wife about how much you hate your job. Eventually, she's going
to get sick of you saying it but not doing anything about it.

In the beginning of you coming home and complaining several nights

in a row or for several weeks, she’ll just say, “Well, you should find
another job.” And then you just say, “Yeah I should do that. Yeah, I
need to look into it. Ah, I’ve got to work on my resume. Yeah, maybe
I’ll do that this weekend.” And then a couple of months have gone by,
and he hasn't done anything, and he's still bitching about his job that he
hates. Well, after a while, she's going to lose respect and start to not feel
safe and comfortable letting him be the leader in the relationship,
because now he's no longer being a leader in his own life. She knows
what he needs to do, he knows what he needs to do, and yet he’s still
not doing it.

That's why it's so important that if something is not working, and you're
not happy, and you're getting feedback from other people, including
your significant other, then you’ve got to take action to make something
happen. Because that's what men are; high achieving men are men of
action. They don't sit around and bitch or complain for very long. They
figure out what they need to do to change their approach, and then they
make it happen. Those are the kind of guys that make women feel safe
and comfortable and, therefore, those women will feel comfortable
letting the man lead the relationship. And, therefore, the legs are always
opening pretty much whenever they want it, because she feels safe and

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comfortable. And if she doesn't, the legs are going to close, because she
doesn't trust his leadership or his masculine core.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/its-all-about-
confidence/20270

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Inner Game & Sexual Attraction

“Being successful in any area of your life requires an effective and

empowering belief system to make your internal inner game rock solid.
Having a strong inner game is essential to doing and saying the right
things at the right times in negotiations, your career, your financial life,
taking care of your body, your romantic life, and all of your
relationships. When you start to believe in yourself, your self-worth,
your own sex appeal, and you start to perceive yourself as a gift, you
will act and speak in ways that are consistent with this perception.
When you value and respect yourself, you’re not going to chase after
people who are ignoring you, disrespecting you, or taking you for
granted. You will consciously choose to spend your time only with
people who appreciate you and want you around. When your inner
game becomes unshakeable, you’ll never again allow people to treat
you like a doormat, take you for granted, or allow yourself to accept
anything that is less than what you truly deserve.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

This is where practice comes into play. As you practice the things that
I teach in my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, and also the things that
I talked about in my second book, Mastering Yourself, you get better at
them with time because repetition is the mother of skill. And as you
start to get good, positive experiences and successes, now you start to
see what goes from being a mental concept to actually being a reality.

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Over time, as you go through your life and you start to acquire successes
and experiences, you also become pickier and less willing to put up with
things that you, just a short time ago, were just excited to have those
particular opportunities. So, as you get better and you collect
experiences of successes, that helps to slowly overcome and help you
to deprogram yourself from any limiting beliefs that you've acquired
throughout your life, because now you're seeing that you have an
abundance of all of the things you want in your life, and now you have
choices.

When you have lots of choices, you tend to get even more choices and,
therefore, you can be even pickier and more selective about who you
have, and you're always trying to improve the quality of the women you
date, the people that you associate with, the friends you have, the clients
you have, the quality of your business; it's always trying to get better
each and every day.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/inner-game-sexual-
attraction/17473

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Constant Rejection Erodes My Confidence

“If you want to be successful in life, you have to become good at failing
and recovering quickly after failure. Drivers who lose control of their
car and start spinning tend to look towards the wall which they fear
hitting when they spin out. This literally causes them to steer right into
what they are trying to avoid due to their misguided focus. Their action
is driven by fear, instead of instinct and skill. Instinct and skill come
from prior preparation, planning, practice and repetition. Become okay
with failing, learn from your mistakes, and you will be able to quickly
recover from setbacks and move forward. Whereas unsuccessful people
tend to focus on the failure and what was, instead of what could be if
they moved on trying a new approach.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, guys that are trying to become better with having conversations with
women, whether it's picking them up out in public or when they're out
with friends just striking up a conversation, they really struggle because
they're worried about having a bad experience. They're worried about
getting rejected, or looking bad, or being laughed at. You have to
change your mindset and the way you look at rejection. As a man—like
Zan Perrion says, “Beauty needs a witness”—and your job, as a man, is
simply to extend an invitation for a date, or to get a phone number, or
to talk, or to have a conversation, whatever it may be. That's all you
owe women; you have to show up.

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And as a man, as long as you're taking risks and doing these things, you
have to understand that failure is just a necessary part of the process.
Because just like in sales, you have to get through the nos in order to
get to the yeses. And when it comes to dating and relationships, all you
really need is one girl to say “Yes,” even if you have to go through a
hundred rejections. Or, say you're an average looking guy, and the
average person goes through a hundred rejections to get one really good
dating prospect out of that. Well, if you're not as attractive as a regular
guy, say you're an ugly dude, (because I sometimes get these emails).
Well, your numbers might be worse. You might have to go through 200-
250 rejections before you get to one “Yes.” But, at the end of the day,
if you take the time to go through the repetitions and you recognize that,
eventually, you're going to come across a girl that just is going to think
you’re cute, and you’re the shit, and you're the man, and she’ll want to
go out with you. But if you just give up after a handful of rejections and
you let it erode your self-confidence, then you won't take any action.

At the end of the day, you're always prospecting, and your prospecting
never ends until you find a good match for you. Because even when
you go out on dates with women that you meet after a lot of prospecting,
it doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to actually really like and
enjoy her, or enjoy listening to her, or find interest in her life and what
she's all about. That's why you never get too emotionally excited about
any particular prospect until you’ve spent enough time with them. It's
just simply a process that you have to go through, and you’ve got to
give yourself permission to fail, to look stupid, to feel awkward,
because the more you do it and the more you blurt out what you think,

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what you feel, what you find attractive about her—if you think she's
beautiful, if she takes your breath away, if she's got a gorgeous figure
or a great body—whatever it happens to be, just blurt it out and be
authentic, be real, speak it from your heart without any fear.

Because the more you do that, it doesn't matter what happens, it doesn't
matter if she says ‘Yes” or ‘No.” The more you do that, the more it
builds your confidence, the more you feel good about lighting women
up. And, over time, the more you do this, you start to recognize that
women really appreciate authenticity; they appreciate a guy that’s real.
They appreciate a guy that has balls, a guy that’s not trying to be a creep.
He's looking at her, he's noticing her, and right away he comes right out
and makes his intentions clear and known without any apology. And
even if she's married or in a relationship with another guy, she'll
appreciate the fact that you had the balls to ask and politely decline.
Then when she politely declines, you say “Hey, well, have a great day.”

You just made her feel good about herself, because feminine energy
grows through praise. And when you acknowledge a woman's beauty,
or whatever it is that you like about her, you’re going to make her feel
good about herself. And the interesting thing is, is that when you do a
random act of kindness, whether it's with a woman or complimenting
somebody that does a good job taking care of you, it increases your
serotonin in your brain. The person who is the receiver of that act of
kindness, it also increases their serotonin in their brain. And here's
what’s really interesting: a person who observes you giving a sincere,
authentic compliment to somebody, their serotonin also increases. So,

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you're actually making the world a better place by going out and
blurting out whatever you're thinking, whatever you're feeling, as long
as it's authentic and real, and it comes from your heart.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/constant-rejection-
erodes-my-confidence/13747

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The 38 Best Secrets Of Success

“Being and becoming successful can be boiled down into a few dozen
simple success principles. Successful people tend to take action, while
other people stew over excuses as to why they can’t or don’t think they
can. Successful people are too busy taking action to achieve and create
what they want to create in their lives than to let themselves get caught
up in unresourceful thinking, acting and feeling. Success is having the
freedom to spend your life in your own way with the kind of people
who you want to spend it with. The more your life is of your own design
and choosing, the happier and freer you will feel to be yourself and be
surrounded by the kind of people who cherish and celebrate you, instead
of merely tolerating you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I think it was Henry Ford who said, “Whether you think you can, or you
can’t, either way, you are right.” Because we’re going to behave, human
beings behave exactly how we view ourselves to be, and it doesn't
matter whether the view is accurate or not. If we don't think we're good
enough or smart enough or have the time or have the money or the
intelligence or the connections, whatever it happens to be, we’re going
to act in ways that are consistent with that belief and that self-
perception. And successful people view themselves as being worthy
and deserving of success; even if their life doesn't look like a success
right now, today, they have a vision of what it could be and what their
life could be like down the road. And because of that, that's why they

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will take actions that are consistent with believing that things are going
to work out in their behavior.

So, you have to think about your self-talk and the story that you tell
yourself. When I'm doing phone sessions with people, their limiting
beliefs and their self-perceptions come out in how they're talking to me,
and I point these things out to them. Things they say, I point out. It’s
like, “Did you just hear what you said?” and repeat it back to them, and
they recognize, because we all have a story that we tell ourselves about
our life, our capabilities, and our abilities, and what we can or can't
accomplish.

And so, even if you don't have the evidence of success that you want in
your life, think back to what I talked about earlier: “Wouldn't it be nice
if things worked out my favor? Wouldn’t it be nice if I got that raise?
And if I don't get that raise, wouldn't be nice if I found somebody else
who is willing to pay me what I think I'm worth?” And then you go, and
you take actions to go find a new job in a different company with people
that will actually pay you what you want, and what you asked for and
what you believe you’re worth.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-38-best-secrets-of-
success/14739

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Treat Women Like Equals, Not Celebrities

“Attraction is not a choice. Men and women have no control over who
they find sexually attractive any more than they can control the weather.
You should always treat other people like equals, instead of putting
them on a pedestal and treating them like they are celebrities. When you
act or feel inferior, or treat others as celebrities, you are communicating
that you do not feel worthy to be in their presence. Eventually they will
tire of your weak, ass-kissing behavior and agree with you; that you
don’t deserve to be with or around them. If you don’t see yourself as a
gift and a blessing, other people won’t either.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is something that I would say probably most guys do that have
never had the opportunity to date the kind of women that they want.
And when they actually do get to go out with a girl they really like, who
is a ten in their eyes or a dream woman, they tend to put her on a
pedestal and kiss her ass and treat her like a celebrity—which is
constantly seeking her attention and validation and putting the vibe out
there that they just don't feel worthy to be with her. And when you act
this way, women will lose respect for you and become disgusted by this
type of behavior, and friend-zone you or ghost you outright.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/treat-women-like-
equals-not-celebrities/16744

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Ways To Build Your Confidence

“Confidence is doing something you know how to do and doing it really

well. Everyone has to learn at some point how to do what they don’t
know how to do. No one was born the best basketball player, best
singer, best entrepreneur, best CEO, etc. To become excellent at
anything is a process of learning what to do, applying what you learn
on a consistent basis, and learning from your failures. All of us at one
time could not walk very well, but with practice and persistence we
mastered it. Stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing what you
fear consistently like a fearless child, is the key to overcoming fears and
reaching your full potential. If you’re not trying to overcome your fears,
you’re slowly stagnating. Life happens when you move. You’re either
moving and growing, or you’re stagnating and dying.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

All you have to do is look at the biography of Steve Jobs written by

Walter Isaacson, which I think is essential reading for every human
being that wants to reach their full potential. Because what you can see
is, when Steve was younger and he didn't know any better, he was a
dickhead to a lot of people that worked for him. He was able to motivate
people and put together a great team of amazing people to make
amazing products, but he was a dickhead about it. I was similar when I
was younger, and you can talk to people that I worked with back when
I was in the mortgage and real estate business and they'll tell you similar

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things: “He was amazing at some things, but sometimes he could be a
real abrasive prick if he wasn't happy with your work, or what you were
doing, or how you were showing up.” And we all tend to mellow out
with old age. I think that it’s part of just getting older, you start to
recognize that you’re living in a body that's going to die, and
everything, and everyone you love, everything you build, eventually it's
going to turn to dust. And so, even somebody like Steve Jobs, who
became worth hundreds of millions of dollars when he was in his youth,
he still had a lot of learning and a lot of growing to do. In those last few
years of his life, when you look at Pixar pictures and Apple, I mean, he
built two really amazing companies that are run exceptionally well and
produce probably the best products in the world that are in their
particular genre and industry.

So, even as you get older, we’re all still learning. There's always another
level to grow, you can never stop evolving, you can never stop getting
better. The opportunity is always there if you take action and you move
towards the things that you want. And when you do things over and
over and over and over and over again, you become really good. When
you're doing things wrong, you're going to encounter friction in life—
whether it's friction in business, your ideas won't work, or they’ll be
very expensive and you lose money, or you'll be pissing off great
employees to the point where they just simply won't want to work with
you anymore and they’ll leave and then go work somewhere else. One
of the great things about life is pain gives us feedback. And when things
don't work out well and someone chooses to leave our life or our
organization, or no longer wants to work for us, or be friends with us,
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or date us, that's when you're able to recognize that, “Hey, you know
what, maybe my approach is not the best way to go about it.” And you
adapt, you improvise, you overcome, you compensate, you always try
to refine, and just try to get a little bit better each and every day.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/ways-to-build-your-
confidence/14080

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Reclaiming Your Masculinity

“Being a people pleaser, putting yourself and your needs last and being
too timid and shy to stand up for yourself and what you want, invites
unnecessary suffering, enables and encourages other people to take
advantage of you, inhibits your success and leads to a life of quiet
desperation. The right lovers and friends will be your biggest
cheerleaders and will always have positive words of encouragement in
your darkest hours of self-doubt. The wrong ones will make you doubt
and question yourself and your dreams. Love is about giving, meeting
each other’s needs, helping each other grow and become more, and
reaching your full potential together. You must choose your peer group
very carefully. Why? If you don’t, the wrong peer group will become
the greatest obstacle to your success and happiness.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

This goes back to how you perceive yourself, because people are going
to behave consistently with how they view themselves to be, and it
doesn’t matter whether the view is accurate or not. If you don't believe
you're worthy of love, you'll act in ways and become involved with
people who can help you play out that belief by trying to date somebody
that’s simply not available, or in a relationship with somebody else or
trying to steal some dude’s girlfriend. These kinds of things get in the
way, and so, whatever area of your life is not playing out like you want
it to, think about your self-talk, think about how you talk to yourself.

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Are you nice to yourself? Are you kind to yourself? Do you speak to
yourself with love? Or, are you always going “I'm an idiot. I’m stupid.
I should've done that. I always do this. It never works out for me. I
always make the wrong choices. I always attract the wrong people. I
always attract toxic people into my life.” Your self-talk is a reflection
of how you view yourself—and your actions, and your words and your
deeds are going to be congruent with that.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/reclaiming-your-
masculinity/24801

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Does Size Really Matter?

“Does size really matter to women? Some women will absolutely say
yes and that they prefer a man who is long and wide. However, the
reality is that most of a woman’s sexual nerve endings are on the outside
of her body. The average size of a woman’s vagina is usually no deeper
than four inches. Men who are, or who feel they are, physically
challenged in the size department, need to learn how to properly
stimulate a woman’s sexual nerve endings by focusing on “the little
man in the boat,” and positioning their body and their woman’s body in
such a way as to give her the maximum benefit of his full manhood. If
size really mattered to women, there would be no lesbians.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

So, focusing on the clitoris area, the little hooded bandit, if you will, or
Red Robin, Red Riding Hood, whatever you want to call it—because
again, all the nerve endings are on the outside of the body, that's what
really matters, is the stimulation. And what's so powerful for women
sexually is winding her up, because women fall in love through their
ears, and men tend to fall in love through their eyes. And the way you
properly wind a woman up sexually is you're going just slightly slower
than she is to the point where, as a woman gets more and more turned
on, she starts to squeeze you more, she starts the bite your lip more,
bites your neck, bites your ears, she starts to breathe heavier, she starts
to moan more. She starts to tell you she wants you deep inside her, but

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you make her wait a little bit, you keep stimulating her. When she's on
top and you're having sex and you push her knees back toward you, if
she's riding you back and forth, this will force yourself deep inside of
her, which makes it really hard to come out when you're having sex.
And this also enables her to stimulate the clitoris to where she can have
one orgasm after another.

And what's really helpful is when she tells you she wants you to come
or come at the same time with her, you let her think you're about to.
She’s saying, “Are you there? I’m about to cum,” and he says, “I'm
almost there, baby, don't stop.” And she's like, “Oh my god, I’m about
to. Are you about to?” “I'm right there, baby, don't stop. Whatever you
do, don't stop.” And then she finally has an orgasm, and she's like, “You
didn’t cum yet,” and you tell her, “Don't stop, keep going. I'm almost
there,” and then she keeps going. And what's happening is he's resisting
her strength. He's not doing what she wants him to do. He's going to
come inside her when he feels like it, in his own time. And when you
do this right, a woman will start having one, two, three, four, five, six,
seven different orgasms before you finally decide to have your release;
and it will give her the best sex. Because at the end of the day, if you
can give a woman some of the best sex she's ever had, she will love you
and be hard to get rid of.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/does-size-really-
matter/22138

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Why You Don’t Get 2nd Dates

“Fear of loss, attachment to the future, neediness and not staying in the
present moment are often the reasons why potential friends, lovers,
employers, etc. don’t want to be around you or want you in their lives.
Actions and words based upon a low feeling of self-worth, a lack of
self-love or a general feeling of inadequateness will cause you to give
off a weird and awkward vibe around other people that repulses them.
Relax, sit back, be patient and act as if what you want also wants you,
and that you deserve what you want. If the feeling is not mutual, bless
them internally and be grateful for what you have and where you are,
so you can keep yourself open to receive what you desire. Circulation
is the key to the universe. Bodies in motion tend to stay in motion.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

Oftentimes, guys are too afraid to talk to women that they really like,
because they're worried about how the interaction is going to go, or they
say, “Oh, my mind always goes blank when I meet a girl that I really
like.” Become curious about other people. A great book that everybody
should read and become very familiar with is Dale Carnegie's How to
Win Friends and Influence People. If you've ever studied sales, the
basic Sales Skills 101 is you’ve got to take a sincere, authentic interest
in other people. If you’ve just met a woman that you find really
attractive and you think is great, or you're interviewing for a job, take a
sincere interest in the other person.

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Whoever's the one asking questions is the person that's running the
conversation. If you meet a girl, and you’re thinking, “Oh my God, this
could be the perfect woman I’ve been waiting on,” you don't know what
you don't know yet, so ask questions. Ask her to tell you about herself,
ask her what she likes to do for fun, ask her about her life, her friends,
her family, her hopes, her dreams, what things she's excited about, what
she's looking forward to in life. Get her to tell you about things that
she's passionate about. A way to get people to like you is to get people
or to ask people to talk to you about things they enjoy talking about. If
you really care about other people, you're going to want to know what's
going on in their lives. So, ask them, take a sincere interest in them.

It's not about you and trying to prove yourself to them, it's about you
trying to get to know who they are as a human being. If you're willing
to listen to other people and hear their stories, and their hopes, and their
dreams, and the things that are exciting and compelling to them, that
makes them feel like you actually care about them and like them. And
the natural law of reciprocity means that then, they’re going to actually
start to take more interest in you, because you’ve made them feel just
like somebody who's a friend, family member, or somebody that cares
about them.

If somebody cares about you, they’re going to want to know what

you’ve been up to. Like when you run into an old friend, “Hey, what
have you been up to? What's been going on?” They actually want to
know that. And if you’ve just met a stranger and you take a sincere,
authentic interest in who they are and what they're all about, over just a

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few minutes’ time, you’ll notice that they actually start to take more
interest in you—provided that you pass the initial attraction test and that
they're somewhat interested in you. You can actually cause people to
like you more just by taking a sincere, authentic interest in them.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-you-dont-get-
2nd-dates/13984

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Master Seducer

“Attraction is not a choice that people make. It is something that is

naturally handled by Mother Nature. We can’t control whom we find
attractive, but we can reveal or uncover an attraction that is already
there and make it grow. Becoming sure of your own value and acting
like someone who is congruent with believing in their own value creates
a vibe of confidence, certainty, inevitability and attractiveness. It is not
arrogance, but a humble, matter of fact personal reality or truth. It
means living a life and lifestyle that is pleasing to you, despite what
others may think about you. Living your personal truth without fear or
regret and only spending your time with people who respect, value and
appreciate you. High value people do not allow others into their inner
circle who don’t value or treat them properly.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

When a woman meets a guy, typically within two to three seconds she
knows right away if she finds him attractive enough to date him. And
as long as her attitude towards you, like I use an attraction scale that in
my book of 1-10, you have to be in a woman's eyes at least a 5 or better
in her eyes, and if that's the case, you can grow that attraction from
there. And that's, from her perspective, it's the “Eh, he's kind of cute,"
"Eh, I guess I’d go out with him.” You have a chance; you’re barely
kind of holding on by your fingernails, but at least you have a chance.
And if you handle yourself properly on your dates, her attraction, and
her curiosity, and her interest in you will continue to grow. The lower

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a woman's attraction starts out, if it's at a 5 or a 6, there's very few
mistakes that you can make before she decides you're just not what she's
looking for, and then you're out. Versus a woman who sees you as a 7
or 8 in her physical attraction scale, you can make many more mistakes,
because she really, really, really likes you and is already into you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/master-seducer/31334

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I Felt Privileged Being There

“People tend to act in ways that are consistent with who they view
themselves to be, even if that view is not accurate. Our focus, self-
perception and self-talk determine what we say, how we say it, what we
do, how people treat us, our physiology and where we end up in life.
You should think before you speak to ensure what you are about to say
or do portrays you in a positive, confident, determined, desirable and
valuable way. Why? Because people will treat you the way you view
yourself. No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t
invite them to do.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I kind of vaguely remember this particular article from several years

ago. And it was something along the lines of, this guy was on a date
with what he considered to be the ultimate woman, and that was kind
of his mindset and his philosophy. He was thinking, “Oh, I finally got
the girl of my dreams on a date.” And that was part of the problem. He
put her on a pedestal, and he started treating her like a celebrity. And
so, he was talking in ways that communicated he felt privileged to be
there. In other words, he started kissing her ass.

If you've ever seen those guys that chase around celebrities and take
pictures of them, the paparazzi, and the things that they say, they’re
always these groveling, suck-up Beta males that are always kissing ass

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and just sound like total bitches, and they get treated that way. And
when a guy goes on a date with a girl and he acts like, “Oh my God,
this is the greatest privilege of my life,” instead of being “Eh, I’m kind
of skeptical but, you know, I'll give her a shot. I'll give her the benefit
of the doubt. I want to see what she's like. I don't know if I like this girl
yet. I don't know if she's good enough for me. I don’t know if she's a
good match for me,”—because that's the way women approach dating
and relationships—then, you start acting and putting the vibe out that
you're an equal.

And what happens is, she senses this, she feels this, she’s going to be
extra nice to you. She starts seeking your attention and your validation
and trying to win you over, instead of when you put her on a pedestal,
you've automatically communicated that, you know, she's the girl of
your dreams and she's in. In other words, “This is what I’ve been
looking for.” And so, she doesn’t really have to earn it. And then you
start acting like you're not worthy, and at some point, she's going to get
sick of this, because she just wants to be treated like a regular human
being, instead of some dude treating her like a celebrity and kissing her
ass. And if you kiss the girl’s ass and you put her on a pedestal, she’s
going to treat you just like a celebrity treats the groupies that they don't
really care about.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-felt-privileged-being-
there/24428

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Once She Forms An Opinion Of You

“As the saying goes, you don’t get a second chance to make a first
impression. When it comes to dating and relationships, once the other
person has formed an opinion of you and what they think you are really
like, it’s an uphill battle and almost impossible to change. This is
especially true if you have done and said things over many days, weeks
and months that have made you look weak, needy, desperate, immature,
too compliant and like you don’t love, value or respect yourself. The
only way it can be done effectively is to be the opposite of what you
once were and wish to become, almost 100% of the time. It will
behoove you to have many new romantic options, so you don’t fall back
into old fearful and unresourceful patterns that cause you to revert to
your previous bad behavior. The only thing you have control over in
life is how you show up, not what the other person does.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

I’d say, the majority of men who come to me to do phone coaching

sessions, it's usually in relation to a particular woman who they really
want to date, or who they were dating, or even in a long-term
relationship with, and things are going sideways. And then when they
read my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, they start to notice all of the
mistakes they were doing and all of the displays of weakness. And so,
if you were dating a woman for a couple of weeks and then you got
friend-zoned, and you don't want to be in friend-zone, and you're trying

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to figure out how to get out of friend-zone, you have to stop acting in
unattractive ways. That's why I often talk about going no contact with
these women, because now you're in a situation where you’re
negotiating.

In other words, she's trying to sell you on why you should stay just a
platonic friend, and you're trying to sell her on why she should be your
lover and romantic partner. And so, you do this because, if she only
wants to be friends and you want more, and she's unwilling to change,
or to give you a chance or go out on dates with you in the evening that
can be romantic, what you’re going to notice is she’s going to try to
keep doing things with you that are platonic and friendly such as going
to lunches, going to coffee dates, asking you to come over and fix her
toilet, or fix her car that's not starting, or change her flat tire, whatever
it happens to be.

If a woman says, and is firm, that she's only interested in you and only
thinks of you as just a friend and you already really like her and want
to date her, if you love yourself and you value yourself, you're not going
to continue to stick around and hope that she changes her mind.
Because, as a man, you should be outcome-focused in all areas of your
life. And if you're looking for sex and romance, you’re not going to
continue to waste your time being a butler to a woman who won't do
that with you. If she changes her mind, get in touch. Otherwise, you're
not interested in just being friends. You tell her that you wish her all the
best in her search, but you're interested in finding the right girl for you,
you're not interested in being her buddy and her pal. And so, if you’ve

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got a history of acting this way, or acting weak or acting in a platonic
way for a consistent period of time, you have to consistently remove
yourself and stay firm, because even if she starts contacting you after
you’ve walked away a few weeks or a few months later, she remembers
how you were, and so she's going to test the shit out to you to see if you
will be compliant and agree to going back in friend-zone.

And what I see a lot of times in these cases is the guy says he's not
interested in being friends, but yet he continues to hang out with her
and do only platonic things, or she comes over, and instead of sleeping
in his bed, she sleeps in the guest bedroom. These are the kinds of things
that you simply don't allow. If she wants to sleep in the guest bedroom,
you’ve got to say, “I think it's just best that you go home for the night.
I'm not interested in that.” Because the woman has to know you're
setting your line in the sand, and if you display weakness, she's going
to try to come up with 100 different ways to get you to be compliant.
And just as you think you're making progress, she’ll throw you a
curveball and come at you with a different way to try to get you
compliant and agreeing to be a friend or to do some kind of platonic
activity.

Only do things that can lead to sex and romance. A man's job in the
courtship is to create an opportunity for sex to happen—hang out, have
fun, and hook up—and you do that in the evening. And a good reference
is an article and video I did many years ago called 7 Principles to Get
an Ex Back. Learn that, learn the objections, and act accordingly.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/once-she-forms-an-
opinion-of-you/17180

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Trouble Maintaining Confidence

“Confidence comes from knowing what to do and doing it really well.

Risk, fear, worry and doubt are the result of not knowing what you’re
doing. Repetition is the builder of skills and confidence. Being happy
about yourself and your life is the result of building a body, life and
lifestyle that is emotionally compelling and fulfilling to you. When
you’re not living up to your full potential, playing it safe and not
stepping outside of your comfort zone, this has a negative effect on how
you perceive yourself and what you’re willing to do to move your life
forward. When you are expanding beyond your comfort zone and
taking risks to make your dreams a reality, you’ll feel inspired and
confident enough to take even more risks to grow and improve your
life. To reach your full potential and be at your best personally, you’ve
got to know what you want, why you want it and be taking consistent
action to make it a reality.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I remember Tony Robbins saying that “Your comfort zone is where

you’re most uncomfortable.” Now, what that means is, your comfort
zone is where you're going to be the happiest, but in order to be at your
happiest, you've got to take risks, and that requires stepping outside of
your comfort zone, because you have to stretch beyond your
boundaries, you have to explore your capabilities, you have to practice
new things that you're not sure of. If you want to grow the most—
because one of our essential six human needs is growth, spiritual

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growth, personal growth—as a man, we’re always looking for the
bigger, better deal.

When you reach a plateau, when you reach the top of the mountain,
when you achieve your goal, or you get that dream person in your life,
and you get to a point where you checked all your goals list off—
because this happened to me when I was in my early 30s, and I was
wondering, “Is this it? Is this all there is?”—it's like, you get to the top
of the mountain, and then you realize, in the distance, you see that
there's an even bigger mountain that you can climb and conquer. Life is
just a continuous process of setting and achieving goals, striving to
make them happen, making them happen, getting to the top of the
mountain, and then realizing that there’s even more that you can grow,
there's even more that you can become, there is even a greater level that
you can get to, to grow beyond where you are.

That's why, throughout your life, you always want to be stretching

outside of your comfort zone, because the more you stretch outside of
your comfort zone, the more you're going to be uncomfortable, but the
quicker you're going to learn, and the more things you’re going to
experience, and the more your capabilities are going to grow. It's going
to be a lifelong pursuit. Life is never a destination, success is never a
destination. Because, when we’re younger and we don't know any
better, we think once we achieve all these things we want and we have
all his material stuff that we want, then we’re finally going to have
peace, we’re finally going to be content, and we’re going to be happy,
and then we’re just going to try to maintain it all.

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Once you get there and you check those goals off your list, it's kind of
disappointing. It's like the people that win the Super Bowl, or you think
about the guys that went to the moon and came back. I mean, how do
you top going to the moon? What's bigger than going to the moon?
Maybe going to Mars? So, what was interesting is, a lot of the
astronauts, when the moon exploration stopped in the ‘70s, a lot of their
relationships ended, they had alcohol problems, because they really
didn't have a vision and a purpose and a giant goal to achieve and a next
level to get to.

So, once you get to a certain place, it's like, you’ve got to find a way to
enjoy your journey to achieving your goals and your dreams. You’ve
got to learn to enjoy the process, because it's a process that never stops,
hopefully, until the day you die. Always stretch beyond your comfort
zone. Always try to become more, and do more, and accomplish bigger,
and better, and more fun things.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/trouble-maintaining-
confidence/35070

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The Top Reasons Why Men Get Rejected

“Being successful in life is as much about knowing what to do, as it is

about doing what you know and doing it well. Excellence comes from
learning good knowledge from those who know, modeling their success
and successfully applying their wisdom. Knowledge is only potential
power. If you don’t apply what you know, you have no advantage over
the person who doesn’t even have the knowledge in the first place;
much in the same way that a person who doesn’t read any good books,
has no advantage over the person who can’t read them.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

A lot of what I work with when I'm coaching guys is cutting out all of
the behaviors that are causing them to appear unattractive to women.
Because as you've heard me say many times, attraction is not a choice;
mother nature has already handled sexual attraction. Within two or
three seconds of meeting, a woman already knows if she would date or
sleep with you or not. In other words, she already finds you attractive
or she doesn't. But the problem that most guys have that don't know any
better is they end up talking these women right out of liking them. They
start communicating right away that they don't feel worthy. They start
putting her on a pedestal, kissing her ass, and treating her like a
celebrity. So, even though she found him initially physically attractive,
she ends up rejecting him because he's constantly acting like he's

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unworthy. He’s constantly saying and doing things that make him look
unattractive.

When I do phone sessions with guys that are really handsome and really
good-looking and they've never had a problem getting women, but they
have a real hard time keeping them, they’re great out of the gate—in
other words, their looks get them in the front door—and the women are
really, super highly attracted—in other words, on a scale of 1 to 10,
these women perceive them as being a 7 or an 8—so these guys can
actually do a lot of screwing up for a week or two before the women
start to recognize that these guys just don't have it, and they become
totally turned off and repulsed, and then they want nothing to do with
those guys.

And if you’re just like me, you're an average-looking dude and you like
dating really beautiful women, you’ve got like maybe one or two
mistakes, and if she's just kind of, “Eh, he's kind of cute. Eh, I guess I'll
give him a chance. Eh, I guess I'll go out with him. I’ll just see what
happens,” and you start acting weak, and needy, and communicating
that you don't think very highly of yourself—you're done, you get
barely a first date. Whereas the guy that’s really, super good looking,
he’ll get about two weeks before she gets totally turned off and rejects
him and has the same repulsed feeling towards him that she does you if
you're just an average guy like me.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-top-reasons-why-
men-get-rejected/13936

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Bad Dating Advice

“Masculinity is seeing your own value, speaking your truth without

fear, going for what you want without apology and striving to
continually improve, so you can perpetually be the best version of
yourself. Alphas know their own worth and won’t tolerate disrespect or
drama in their inner circle. Your peer group and their expectations have
more influence on your self-perception and potential than you realize.
Only spend your time with people who are good for you, good to you
and who nurture, encourage and support your grandest goals and
dreams.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The movie Lost in Translation, I remember, I think it was Bill Murray's

character, and he was talking to, I think it was Scarlett Johansson's
character. And I can’t remember what they were talking about
specifically, but he said something that I thought was really powerful.
He said, “The older you get and the more you know who you are, the
less you let things upset you.” And I know, being 50 now at this point,
things that I used to really care about, and that were really important to
me, and things that amazed me, it’s like the older you get and the more
life experience you have, the less you're amazed by things. Nothing
really impresses you as much as when you were a kid, because the
reality is, life is just a collection of memories and experiences. And no
matter how much you love something or are into something, the more
you get used to achieving your grandest goals and dreams and having

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the things that you want in life, you start to look at it as a kind of second
nature, just like breathing.

And so, instead of pedestalizing people and events and material things,
you just see it as something to acquire and experience, and as something
that you're totally capable of. So, in other words, reaching your full
potential and succeeding, it just becomes a natural part of your life. And
you no longer put it on a pedestal, it just becomes something that is self-
evident to you. And it also humbles you. I've noticed that I’ve definitely
become more humble than I was, like, in my early 30s, because when I
had success in my early 30s, I thought I was the shit. And as I've gotten
older and I've experienced a lot of ups and downs and things that didn't
work out, you don't go around bragging so much. You're more apt to
just let your work and your actions speak for themselves.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/bad-dating-
advice/35493

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 Hardships & Setbacks

I Feel Like A Total Loser!

“Children tend to entrain with and take on the limiting beliefs, flaws
and faults of their parents and family. They often spend the rest of their
lives trying to overcome the imprint of their parents’ limitations and
conditioning. Almost all parents want to see their children grow up to
be happier, more successful and more fulfilled than they are as part their
legacy. Success comes as a byproduct of many years, or even decades,
of trial and error, learning from one’s mistakes and persevering even
when life feels hopeless and success seems impossible. Becoming
confident, competent and developing your skill in the execution of your
life’s work comes from passion, time and repetition. You can either
focus on living in the present moment by accomplishing what must be
done right now, being productive instead of busy, or you can choose to
remain stuck in place because of your past, your fears, your self-
imposed limitations, worrying about the future or pointlessly caring
what others think about you. You’re either moving yourself forward
like winners do or making excuses and holding yourself back like
failures do. The ultimate failure is not trying.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is so true. Part of what's interesting is, like, when we’re in our 20s,
is that we tend to be so worried about what other people think about us.

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And as we get into our 30s, we care less about what other people think
of us, and then when you get in your 40s and your 50s, you kind of just
really don't give a fuck anymore because you start to realize, and you've
lived long enough, that everybody that you love, everything that you
build, eventually is going to die, crumble, and turn to dust. And you
recognize that all you can really do with your life is kind of give it away
in the pursuit of fun and building things that you love and enjoy and
acquiring great memories over the course of your life.

Like I’ve said many times in the past, the time is going to pass. You can
pass your time just trying to get through life—because at the end of the
day, it ends in dust—or you can spend your life trying to move yourself
forward and towards the things that are exciting and compelling, so you
get to ultimately experience the manifestation of your grandest goals
and dreams. It's totally up to you how you're going to spend your time.
Choose wisely.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-feel-like-a-total-
loser/23393

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The Purpose For Your Failures

“Failure is a necessary part of life and self-improvement. Successful

people focus on what they can learn from failure, so they can improve
their results in the future. Unsuccessful people avoid failure at all costs
and seek to insulate themselves from risk and uncertainty. The reality
is that in order to become successful and go from where you are to
where you want to be requires you to take risks that do not necessarily
lead to instant success and can keep you in a constant state of
uncertainty for extended periods of time. The more you can take action
and keep moving forward towards your outcomes, in spite of the risks
and potential for undesired results, the more your confidence and ability
to persevere will grow. A spectacular life is the result of mastering
empowering mindsets and becoming comfortable with things being
uncomfortable and uncertain. Progress always involves taking
measured risks and minimizing potential downside risks.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

In sales, you have to look at failure as just part of the process. It’s the
same thing when it comes to dating. You’ve got to realize that in, like
direct response marketing, out of every hundred prospects, you’re going
to get two to three that are going to be really good, really essential,
exceptional prospects. And so, one thing that I often give guys as like a
homework assignment that, if they're having trouble with meeting and
dating women, is to endeavor to go someplace where there is an

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abundance of beautiful women walking around such as going to the
mall, or a beer festival, or an art festival, or something outdoors where
there is a lot of people, a lot of women that you can interact with.
Because the numbers are this: if you ask out a hundred different women,
and these are at least women that make eye contact and smile at you
when you notice each other, typically what's going to happen with those
numbers, 10-14, maybe 15 of them will actually go out with you. And
then out of those 10-14, 15 women, if you follow what's in the book,
typically three to five of them will end up sleeping with you.

So, it's so interesting like that, even in dating when you’re doing cold
approaches like that, is that it really is a numbers game; you have to get
through the nos in order to get to the yeses. And so, therefore, failure is
just part of the process. You’ve got to be okay with it, you’ve got to be
okay with rejection. You want to get to the point where rejection is
something you seek out and you look forward to, because you know
you’re going to get better. And just like Thomas Edison, you're one
material, you’re one interaction, you’re one permutation closer to
finding the right match, the right person, the right job opportunity, the
right client, whatever it happens to be for you.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-purpose-for-your-
failures/27686

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Staring Into The Abyss Of Death

“Everyone goes through dark times in their lives. No one is immune.

These are times when you may lose your house, your business, your
career, your good credit score, your money, your lover and everything
you have spent years building. It could all come crashing down into
financial ruin, seemingly overnight. The reality is that your greatest
resource is your resourcefulness. When things like this happen, it’s
happening for a reason, even though it may be impossible to understand
why at the time. Only once you are through your “dark nights of the
soul,” will you be in a peaceful and relaxed state to the point that you
can see the gift of the experience and the necessary wisdom it gave you.
The only way out of dark times is to take action and focus on doing
what is absolutely necessary to get you from where you are right now
to where you want to be. You must participate in your own rescue.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

I remember the inspiration for this particular article actually came from
something Elon Musk had to say—and I discussed this and the story a
lot in my second book, Mastering Yourself, and also the documentary
that I did on Elon Musk titled, The Success Secrets of Elon Musk—
because he's got a great mindset of how he focuses on problems and
challenges.

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Back in, I think it was like 2007-2008, he was literally on the verge of
losing everything; he had invested all of his money from all of his
previous companies, PayPal and the other ones before it, all of his tens
of millions of dollars he had invested in SpaceX and Tesla, and plus, on
top of that, we were in the middle of a recession economically at the
time. And he literally had enough money for one more final rocket
launch and then the company was going to be bankrupt, and if he wasn’t
able to successfully launch his rockets to get to space, there was no way
the government or private industry was going to give him contracts to
launch their satellites or payloads into orbit.

And the same thing with Tesla, he was literally running out of money
and he had borrowed money from friends and family, and so he was
stressed out. And he said, “Being an entrepreneur is like eating glass
and staring into the abyss of death,” because the reality is, he put
everything on the playing field, he risked it all. He was completely
broke. He had no money left. He had some investors, potentially, that
were going to invest in his business, and it looked like he was about to
be totally destroyed financially at that time.

Well, he was able to eventually get some new investors, like literally
right at the last moment. That fourth rocket launch actually worked.
They signed a big contract with the government for launching payloads
into space. He got additional investors to invest in Tesla, and now, as
of the time of this recording, Tesla's stock is just absolutely on a tear; it
was just $400 a few weeks ago, and now the stock just crossed $2,000
yesterday because they announced, I believe it was a 5-for-1 stock split

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to reduce the price, so other people could have access and buy those
shares of stock.

And so, what's amazing is, he pushed through it, kept moving forward,
and obviously, the rest has become history. So, you can imagine the
amount of pressure and the amount of internal pain that he was
experiencing. And even the people that knew him were just, they really
admired his ability to endure pain and worry about the fact that it looked
like he was going to be completely bankrupt, and his companies were
going to be bankrupt, and he potentially would be out on the street
owing all of his friends and family tens of millions of dollars.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/staring-into-the-abyss-
of-death/21121

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Complacency: I Thought I Could Just Coast

“Human nature is always one towards complacency and laziness when

things are going well. When we start to become very successful in our
relationships, friendships, career, business, life, etc., it’s a challenge for
everyone to continue to do the little daily actions that led to success in
the first place, and that are essential to keeping the momentum of
success moving in the right direction. Men in relationships are often
guilty of courtship complacency where they stop dating their wives or
girlfriends, going to the gym, maintaining their friendships, etc.
Successful salespeople often stop doing the little things that made them
successful in the first place by cutting corners during the sales process.
When women no longer feel loved and attractive, they often will let
their appearance go and no longer make the same effort to remain sexy,
desirable and attractive. In every kind of relationship, we must guard
against becoming lazy, taking others for granted and not making the
same level of effort that we did in the beginning of the relationship. The
purpose of all relationships is that you go there to give. Once the giving
stops, it’s simply a matter of time before the relationship dissolves.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

I see this a lot in my coaching sessions with guys that are struggling in
their relationships. Typically, guys that have been in long-term
relationships, they either stop dating and courting their woman

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properly, or they stopped or don't know how to communicate with them
effectively.

I remember back when I was in real estate, buying and fixing and selling
single-family homes for a profit, if I'm honest with myself when I look
at my very first two investment properties, the very first one I did, I
spent a lot of time there because it was brand-new to me. I'd been
dreaming about being in that place for over ten years, (where I was
actually doing what I went to college for), and then when I started on
my second house, I subcontracted out a lot more of the work and
actually spent less time. Now, the first property was gorgeous. It sold
within, I think it was, two to three weeks of being put on the market.
But the second property, the neighborhood wasn't as nice, and I just
didn't go as far and put those personal touches and love into the
property.

Just because I had such a great success, you just start to assume that the
next one is going to go just as well. And that one took several months
to sell and get a contract on it, just because I hadn't put the same level
of intensity, energy, and effort into it, because I had a success. Because
success really isn’t a great teacher; it's failures that you learn the most
from. And, because I had such great success right out of the gate with
my first property, I got a little lazier, I got a little more complacent.

Also, when in my mortgage and real estate business, I had salespeople

that would do great for two or three months—become very successful,
have a lot of deals closing, make a bunch of money—and what
happened was, they’d fill up their bank account and they got lazy; they
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started cutting corners in their buyers’ consultations and not spending
the time with their clients to create that rapport and get the clients to the
point where they liked them and trusted them as much as they did
previously.

And so, what happened was, when you looked at the number of leads
that you are giving them, you give the same number of leads, but they're
actually converting fewer of the leads to sales. Now, our cost-per-lead
was still fixed, and so what was happening was they were having to go
through more leads to get more sales, because they were cutting
corners. And what would happen is, these guys would come to me and
they wouldn't understand why their income and their revenue had
dropped and they were struggling with sales, and just by asking them a
series of questions and asking them how much they were spending with
clients, you see they got lazy and they got complacent and they just
assumed that the future clients would go as well as the last clients did.

And the process is the process. It's the same thing with women when
you're dating women—you're together for a long time, you get lazy and
you get complacent, you think “Hey, I got this, she's in love with me,
everything is always going to be wonderful.” But you go to
relationships to give, and when you stop giving as much and investing
as much energy and time as you had been before, and you get lazy and
complacent, you don't communicate as much, you don't put as much
time into planning your dates out and having as good a time, the
relationship suffers, and her attraction starts to drop, and then she starts
to back away. This is just human nature, and that's why you always have
to be measuring success in all areas of your life.

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The same thing with friendships: the older you get, the busier you get,
you get kids that you're taking care of, your business is growing, you’ve
got employees, you take on more responsibility, and you just start to
take those friendships for granted and you don't call them as much, you
don't spend as much time with them, and they, in turn, do the same
thing. And as you get older, and a decade or two goes by, you recognize
that good friend of yours that you were hanging out with once a week
or twice a week, you haven't seen them in several months or even talked
to them in several months.

It's like a garden: you always have to water your plants; you always
have to fertilize them and make sure they get plenty of sunlight. That's
why it's so important to set up your life and your lifestyle to be balanced
and offer you as much peace and ease and delight as possible, because
you're going to be at your best when you're not all stressed out. And so,
it's important that you put the time in, and you set your life up so things
can be relatively easy for you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/complacency-i-
thought-i-could-just-coast/16941

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Rejection: The Sooner, The Better

“Feelings of fear, fear of the outcome, fear of the future, fear of success,
fear of failure, etc., are the single greatest causes of people not reaching
their full potential. It’s the root cause of mediocrity in all human
endeavors. If you want to be the most happy, successful, fulfilled and
content you can be in life, you will have to learn to live out loud by
taking risks, and pushing through the imaginary barriers erected by your
fears. Fear only exists in the mind. Learn to master your fears and you
will learn to master your life and your destiny.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You've got to give yourself permission to fail. The reality is that

everything you want, every job you go after initially, every person that
you want to date, every friend that you'd like to have, most of them are
simply not going to feel the same way or treat you in the same good
ways that you treat them. The ultimate act of self-love is to spend your
time with people who make you feel loved, and make you feel
appreciated, and manage the distance, so to speak, from people who
simply don't reciprocate.

What's interesting about the business world is, when you're going for
the jobs you really want is that, that particular job, there might not be a
position open, but that can change over time. And so, by having a
system of follow-up with several different employers that you would
love to work for and staying in touch with them, through the things that
I talk about in my second book, Mastering Yourself, eventually, your

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dream job that you might want today might not even be available for
six months or a year. But by biding your time and slowly developing a
relationship with people at the company or companies that you’d love
to work for, they get to know you, and they see that you’re self-starter,
that you're aggressive, that you’re eager, that you’re persistent. And
from an employer perspective, over time, they want people like that on
their staff, because those kinds of employees are self-motivated and
need very little management; they just need some leadership, and some
inspiration, and to be told a set of objectives and what needs to be
accomplished, and they make great, self-reliant employees.

Now, when it comes to dating or trying to have friendships with people

that don't reciprocate that, the reality is the more you keep pursuing and
trying to date somebody that's not that interested in you, it keeps you
stuck, or obsessed, or attached to a person who's not reciprocating. So,
you actually end up taking the opposite approach. You extend an
invitation, and if somebody is unwilling or unable to accept it or they
take it for granted, move on.

It is true that with enough persistence, like if you look at the musician
Tommy Lee when he was date trying to date Pamela Anderson in the
1990s, he got her number, and he was very persistent and he kept calling
her and, eventually, he wore her down and she said yes. But ultimately,
the relationship didn't work out. But he did get to have that particular
experience, but it also helps that you're a famous rock 'n' roll musician.
It’s not that she didn't like him, it’s just she wasn't a big fan of his
relationship that kind of preceded him and the lifestyle that he presented

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to her. But over time, she softened up a little bit and went out with him,
and the rest is history, at least for them.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/rejection-the-sooner-
the-better/13632

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Dealing With Sudden Death

“Everyone has to deal with setbacks and disappointments in life. The

key is to not let difficult life events such as sudden job loss, death of a
loved one, breakups, business failure, rejection, etc., hijack you and
keep you in an endless loop of suffering, anger, disappointment, etc.
Emotions and problems are a sign of life. However, most people do not
feel comfortable experiencing their emotions, especially the unpleasant
ones. When a negative life event happens and we try to avoid the
emotions it brings on, this emotional energy gets stored as muscle
tension in our nervous system. This causes health problems as we age.
What you resist in life will persist. The solution is to be authentically
present with, embrace and feel the emotion, without judgment or
resistance to feel it and heal it. By letting the emotion overcome you so
you can experience the anger, fear, pain, sadness, loss, etc., this will
allow the energy to move through your nervous system, dissolve and
lose its negative charge and ability to hijack you emotionally. This is
exactly how children experience emotions before friends, family and
society forces its dysfunctional emotional avoidance patterns onto
them. Kids are our greatest teachers.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I learned this process through my work in Network Chiropractic Care

and all of the kind of spiritual disciplines that go along with it. Because,
if you think about it, we’re taught that eventually, life is supposed to be
all sunshine and roses, and we’ll just be zenned out and we’ll all just be

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wonderful and happy. And the reality is, suffering is a part of life, but
it doesn't have to be where you live permanently.

Men are especially taught to move away from expressing, feeling, or

embracing their icky and unpleasant emotions. And what happens, just
like the quote says, the more you resist and avoid feeling those things
you're trying to avoid—whether you get yourself busy and distracted
with music, or work, or drugs, or alcohol, or food, or whatever it
happens to be—you're avoiding dealing with your emotions like
children do.

Children are just totally pure and open—whatever they feel, they
experience it, they embrace it. And what you notice about kids—young
kids—is they don't stay there permanently when they're unhappy or
they’re suffering. They cry, they scream, they throw a fit, they get
angry, they feel the emotions, they embrace it, they really get into it,
and then it dissolves. Whereas us adults, it's like we have to kind of
learn to get back to that place where we’re childlike and we don't judge
our emotions. If we’re not feeling good, the best way to do it is to
embrace it and verbalize what you're feeling, verbalize your pain.

Sometimes nothing works. Sometimes it feels like this shit’s never

going to end. Sometimes it feels like, “My life is never going to get any
better. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to get over this depression.
Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be happy again. Sometimes I
feel like I'm never going to meet somebody else that’s going to love me
in the same way that that other person did. Or this loss of a loved one.”

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One of the things I experienced quite a bit in my early 20s is, I had
several good friends that were just awesome people all of a sudden die
unexpectedly on me. And that's kind of shocking when you're young,
because you don't expect that with somebody that’s your own age, and
you're both looking forward to your lives and what you’re going to
create. And all of a sudden, one day you find out they died in a car
accident or got some kind of weird sudden illness, and then they were
gone, and you had just been hanging out with them a week or two
before.

I remember one of my friends, the last time I saw him, he came in with
another good friend of mine, just to say hello when I was working. And
then, about a month and a half, two months later, I found out he had
gotten killed in a car accident. And I was really sad about that because
he was one of the nicest, coolest people that I had ever met, and I kind
of felt bad that I hadn’t spent more time with him. But I, looking back
on it, now that I'm older, it was cool that he saw my car where I worked,
and he and our other buddy came by just to say hello. And I had no idea,
but it was the last time I ever saw him, and I just remember his smile
and his happy face. And it's like, I guess, without knowing it, he was
kind of saying goodbye in a way.

But you’ve got to feel it to heal it. You got to let these emotions wash
over you and get into it, instead of trying to avoid it. Because like the
quote says, if you resist it, it's just going to continue to persist and get
worse and worse over time. If you give yourself permission to just lose
yourself in that negative emotion and be grateful for what you feel and,

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without any kind of time limits on how you're supposed to experience
it, and you totally lose yourself and embrace that emotion, what
oftentimes you'll find is a few minutes later you're daydreaming about
something else, and then you catch yourself and realize, “Wow I was
just miserable a few minutes ago. It felt like my life was over, and now,
I’m thinking about all the fun things I’m going to do this weekend.” It's
just like a child does.

So, be childlike with your emotions, all of them, including the good
ones, but especially the bad ones. Because, otherwise, you're going to
stay stuck in an unpleasant place for a long period of time, and it doesn't
have to be that way.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dealing-with-sudden-
death/21705

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When Life Feels Hopeless

“Everything you build during your life and everyone you love will
eventually dissolve. Sometimes, everything in your life will seemingly
dissolve overnight. Your business may fail, your woman may leave
you, a loved one may die, you may lose your job, etc. The key to
recovering from any difficult time or period in your life is your ability
to let go of what was and embrace what could be with enthusiasm.
When someone or something dies or dissolves in your life, good or bad,
it’s a call to create something new and emotionally compelling. Why?
At some point you will run out of time to be the person you were meant
to be. Wouldn’t you much rather be able to look back upon your life
with contentment and peace, instead of regretting what could have been
or what you could have done? That’s something to think about.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

I remember when I was contemplating getting out of real estate and the
mortgage business, in the buy, fix, and sell business, around 2004-2005.
I remember it was really shocking to me, coming to the realization that
I no longer had the same internal enthusiasm that I once did for the
industry. And I was left with thinking, like, “What the hell am I going
to do now? Is this what I really want to do the rest of my life?” and I
started questioning everything. And then, when I decided to become a
full-time life coach, I had no idea how the hell I was going to get there
and make that happen.

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And then, after I had liquidated everything, I remember my last house,
I sold my last property, I think it was like May of 2006, this was my last
residential property. And then, literally, three or four months later the
market just started going the opposite direction, because all of these
banks were starting to fail. And then, about a year later, in 2007, we
were finally able to come to terms with a buyer that bought our office
building. And then, about six months after that, the commercial real
estate market cratered.

Now, I wasn't getting out of the industry and liquidating my properties

because I was some wizard with a crystal ball and I saw a crash coming;
I was listening to my internal compass, because I just no longer had the
same passion and enthusiasm for what I was once doing. And then, after
I got out and all that, everything crashed and the shit hit the fan, I had
all his capital in the bank, and that was what I used to start the life
coaching business that I have now. And all those lessons that I had
learned from that painful time—I had two houses, I had a couple of
cars, I had a boat, I had jet skis, I had lots of nice furniture, obviously
we had the office building, and all the office furniture, the computers,
and everything else—it was very therapeutic to sell all that stuff, and to
liquidate it and get cash back for it, because that was all cash that I was
able to use to experiment with and figure out the right business model
for my business.

Then after seeing what happened in the banking system and all the
lessons that I've learned that I've detailed in my second book, Mastering
Yourself, the business that I have now and the way that I've set it up and
the way that people work for me, when the coronavirus hit earlier this

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year in March, all those painful lessons that I had learned enabled me
to build my current business in a much more balanced way to where, I
mean, it was definitely affected, it definitely affected my revenue for
those first two to three months during the lockdowns, but because I had
a very stable business, I didn't have any stressful business partners that
were stressing me out, I didn't have systems that I had put in place that
were unbalanced like I did when I was in real estate, I actually
weathered it pretty well and it kept me in a position where it really didn't
affect me financially that much.

And, you know, I know a lot of people are struggling right now, at this
particular time—a lot of people have lost their businesses—but the
reality is, is that when all that stuff dissolves, it's like, you have to take
a step back and look at it with that same philosophy: “What's good
about this? What can I learn from this? How can I build a better
business, or lifestyle, or financial situation in the future, so the next time
some kind of financial calamity hits the world's financial or economic
system, I can handle it and weather it in a much better way than I did
the last time around?”

And so, I'm very grateful for those difficult times that I went through
because now that most of the world is experiencing a really difficult
time, it really hasn't impacted me that much, and has not hindered me
too much in the way I go about earning income and doing all the things
that I want to be able to do with that income to continue to grow and
expand my business.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/when-life-feels-
hopeless/13641

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Leave with Dignity, Or Stay & Fight?

“Life doesn’t happen to you; it happens for you. Every person and life
circumstance that comes into your life is there to help you grow and
become a better version of yourself. In life, sometimes you’re going to
grow at a much faster rate than those you are in relationship with, and
eventually outgrow those relationships to the point where those people
aren’t in your life anymore. You also will encounter people who learn
and grow much quicker than you do, and therefore, they may outgrow
and leave you. The worst thing you can do in any relationship is to try
and change someone or mold them into what you think they should be.
Love people for who they are and send them feelings of love even if
you have to leave them behind. Long-term relationships of all kinds will
only thrive and survive if both people are continually growing, finding
value in the relationship, communicating and becoming better together
over time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I believe that everything that happens to us in life happens for a reason.

Every person, every circumstance, every difficulty, every challenge,
and every victory is there to teach us some kind of lesson to help us
overcome our insecurities, our fears, our doubts, smooth out our rough
edges, and make us a better human being. I don't believe in chance, I
don't believe in luck; I believe that our actions, our thoughts, our words,
and our deeds actually create our reality. And the right people that are
perfect to help us experience what we need, and what we’re meant for,

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and what we're destined for show up right on time. Just like Steve Jobs
said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only
connect the dots looking backward upon your life.”

So, no matter what the difficulty may be that you might be going
through right now in your life, it's a reason. Maybe you built your life,
or your career, or your business, or your lifestyle in some kind of
unbalanced way. Maybe you took on too much debt, and maybe you
don't have enough things in your life set up in a way that if something
happened, or the shit hit the fan, that you can quickly shed expenses.
These are the kinds of problems and things that help you recognize that
you’ve kind of built your life in an unbalanced way, to give you an
opportunity to build something better and more stable for the future.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/leave-with-dignity-or-
stay-fight/18851

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Best Friend Or A Snake?

“Honorable people believe in doing the right thing, even when no one
else is around. Liars and cheaters really, truly believe and are convinced
that everyone else is a liar and a cheater also. By the time someone has
become an adult, if being devious, dishonest and dishonorable is what
they have learned and how they consistently behaved, the likelihood of
them changing their ways is slim to none. When you encounter people
who are snakes in the grass, which we all do in life, it’s best to banish
them from your inner circle and kingdom, so they can slither off into
the sunset, never to return.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is something that can be really hard to accept, especially when you
go from your youth into adulthood, especially when you're in the dating
world, because many guys, myself included, have had experiences were
guys who we thought were our friends were actually hitting on our
girlfriends, or in my case, my ex-wife as I was in the process of
contemplating leaving my wife. And what was going on, for me
personally, was my supposed best friend, my best friend in my wedding,
as I was really conflicted about staying in the marriage and I was telling
him things in confidence because he was also friends with my wife, he
was relaying everything I was sharing with him.

And so, when I finally worked up the courage and the guts to tell my
wife what I felt and that I wanted to leave, she already knew all about

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it because he had told her. And later on, a few months later, she told me
that they were hanging out together and he basically said, “So, you want
to fuck, or what?” So, the whole time, I’m thinking this guy’s my best
friend and he’s looking out for me, and in reality, he’s just thinking,
“Man, I’d really like to get her pants and I’d like to bang her.” And
that's a tough thing for people to accept.

When it comes to dating, if you start dating a woman and you find out
she's basically cheated on every guy that she was with because he was
a jerk or whatever her justification was, but you really super like the
girl and you think, “Oh, well, she cheated on those guys because they
were douche bags or they were jerks, and so they kind of deserved it.
But, you know, that would never happen to me, because I'm such a
much better guy.” The reality is, women that come from families where
one or both parents have cheated on multiple partners and they've
cheated on most, if not all, of the guys they've been with, if you think
that they're not going to cheat on you, that is absolutely delusional.

If you treat her right, and you do everything right as a man, she may be
faithful to you for a while, but as soon as you start fucking up, you get
lazy, you get complacent, you stop dating and courting her properly,
and communicating with her like you should be, what she learned
growing up was, “Oh, well, if you’re not getting treated right, well, just
go fuck somebody else or date somebody else. You know, all's fair in
love and war. Hey, their loss. Too bad.” And they’re ruthless like that.
Whereas a woman who comes from a good family is just never going
to do those kinds of things. If she's unhappy, she's going to leave the

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relationship, get back to living the life and lifestyle she was living,
reconnect with friends, if she's lost touch with them, and get back to a
place where she really enjoys her life being single. And then, when she's
ready, and she's taken the time to heal, then she'll get back in the dating
world and start dating again and take her time to find the right guy.

Insecure women that come from a family of cheating and deviousness,

they can't be alone, they don't like being alone, and they always have
lots of other male orbiters and other dudes in their life. And as soon as
you start messing up, they’ll start texting and calling these guys,
meeting them for a friendly drink, meeting them for lunch, going out
and having coffee, meeting them for drinks after work just to talk and
share what's going on in their life and asked supposed relationship
advice. But that's just the way some of these people are. That's why it's
so important to look at actions and look at what people do and not what
they say.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/best-friend-or-a-
snake/30473

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Do I Have Commitment Issues?

“People tend to want what they can’t have. When they are simply no
longer into their lover anymore, or realize they never were in the first
place, they don’t make the effort to make them feel loved. Eventually,
when their lover leaves them, they delude themselves into believing that
their former lover is “The One” and that they must get them back at all
costs. Rejection breeds obsession. The reality is, the relationship was
over a long time ago, but they were simply too weak and fearful to leave
or end things out of their irrational fear that they will never find anyone
better. When you really, truly love someone, you will want them to be
happy and loved, even if it isn’t with you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, I oftentimes see this in phone sessions I do with guys; they’re trying
to get back with somebody that they broke up with a few months before,
and then one of the things I'm always starting out the phone
conversation with is, “Well, why do you want her back?” And then I
have them tell me about what they're thinking, what they're feeling, and
then I have them go back to a few months before the breakup happened
or before they got dumped in some cases, because oftentimes guys will
just stop putting their best foot forward, because they’re just not into
her. And, therefore, doing the things that are necessary to make a
woman feel loved and supported, they just don't want to do, because
they’re simply not feeling it. You can't make your heart feel something
it doesn't feel.

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And so, by kind of taking them back in time a little bit to how they were
behaving before the breakup happened, and I get them to talk about how
they were showing up, they recognize the reason, and they admit this,
they even say it—they weren't that into her, and they really wanted to
meet somebody else and date somebody else, but they were scared
about being single again. And so, what happens is, the women pick up
on this, because women, I think it’s like 70-80% of the time, are the
ones that are doing the dumping. So, what happened was they ended up
getting dumped, and it wasn't their choice. And since rejection breeds
obsession, now they think, “Oh, I lost the greatest thing ever, and I’ve
got to get her back.”

And most of the time, when they're able to get the woman back, it's like
all the things that turned him off about her are still there. She didn't
change. And so, usually within 90 days after getting the woman back,
they end up breaking it off. But, at least, in that case, they have the
power to end it, and then they no longer feel like they were missing out.
The relationship ended because they decided it was time to end.

But, oftentimes, when I’m doing phone sessions with guys and I’m able
to point that out and how they were showing up before, and then I ask
them, in a perfect world, what kind of woman they would really want,
what kind of qualities would they have. And they go through that
process, and then we examine the qualities that the woman that they're
trying to get back has, it becomes pretty obvious that their needs
weren’t being met and they weren't happy. And the reality is, she did
them a favor by breaking it off. And so, it's not fair to her, and it’s not

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fair to them, and if there are kids involved, it’s not fair to the children,
to stay in a relationship and live a lie.

The best thing that you can do for yourself, especially if you have
children, is go get in a really great kind of relationship with the kind of
person you really want to be with, so both of you make the kind of
mutual effort that you need to make the relationship work. And,
therefore, the kids see that. Because the kids are going to follow
whatever kind of example that you set for them, and they deserve you
being at your best, personally, not being in some mediocre relationship
that you're not happy with. Because, if you stay in a mediocre, unhappy,
dysfunctional relationship, that's what your kids are going to grow up
and do. And if you love your children, is that the kind of example you
really want to present to them? That’s definitely something to think
about.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/do-i-have-
commitment-issues/20111

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Devious Liars & Master Manipulators

“Devious people who lie and manipulate others are weak people who
prey upon the naiveté of people with a low self-esteem and low self-
worth. The user and the used both are weak and attract one another. The
user does not believe they can get anyone to love the real them. They,
therefore, pray upon those with no hope, a low self-esteem or low self-
worth, because they can only get what they want by lying to and
deceiving the weak with a phony image of what they want to hear.
Many politicians do this with their constituents who have no hope by
making them believe it’s someone else’s fault for their lack of success
or abundance. Since people don’t want to take personal responsibility
for their own lives and success, they give their power away to those
who prey upon their own weaknesses and fears. You must participate
in your own rescue by standing up for yourself, deciding what you want,
resolving to take action to obtain and manifest what you want, as well
as rejecting false prophets who peddle bullshit which is never backed
up by any real action or deeds.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You see this a lot in every election cycle. You usually have candidates
on one side who are more self-reliance focused and creating the
conditions were people can reach their full potential, and you have
another group of politicians who are always telling people, “You're a
victim. It's not your fault that you're not successful. It's not your fault
that you don't have enough money—it's those evil rich people. It's this

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evil group over here that's keeping you from your dreams, and I'm going
to make things fair, and I'm going to solve all your life's problems.”

People that buy into that load of bullshit then give all their power away
and ability to change their own lives and their trajectory of where
they're going to end up in life. Because then they become passive, and
they sit and wait, they stay in a shitty job because they've been told
they’re a victim, and they come to believe that they’re a victim. And
then they become powerless. They literally create a story that affects
everything they do or failed to do to get the things that they want in life.
You don't get what you deserve in life, you're only going to get what
you negotiate.

You have to participate in your own rescue. If you're not happy—

whether it's your relationship, or your peer group, or where you work,
or with your business partners, whatever it happens to be—it's up to you
the change it. Again, if you look to someone or something outside of
yourself to change that, then you're powerless to affect your destiny and
where you end up, and then you're just kind of going along with the
flow of life, and you’re just not going to be happy, or fulfilled or
satisfied. That's why when people get into their midlife they go through
this midlife crisis, because they’ve been so passive in their lives and
they recognize that time is running out, the sands are running out in that
hourglass of the amount of time that they have left.

Life is going to happen, and time is going to pass no matter what. You
might as well be applying yourself, moving towards the things that you
want, growing your reserve of knowledge, growing your gifts, your

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skills, your talents. It's all about adding value; what can you do
personally to increase your value proposition to the world through some
kind of product or service that people have a need for?

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/devious-liars-master-
manipulators/14161

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Relationships Without Attachments

“Loving another human being also means that you want what’s best for
them, even if that means that they end up with someone else. The most
powerful way to love is love without attachments. That means loving
them and desiring them but being okay with any possibility of how they
choose or choose not to love you back. When you can love someone so
much, but deep down you know that they are not right for you long
term, you can let them go to seek their own happiness, even if it’s
without you and with someone else. Dare others to find someone better
than you. Give them the freedom to find someone else. That way, if
they come back to you, you know that they are choosing to be with you
because they really want and feel that inside. Love is about giving, not
possessing, controlling or manipulating to get what you want. It is the
freedom to love yourself and love another so much, that you’d want
them to be with someone else because that’s what’s really best for
them.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is a hard concept for people to get, and I get a lot of grief about
this. But, if you’ve read my book How To Be A 3% Man, you see that
the women that I've talked about and had relationships with in the past,
coming to a place spiritually where you recognize that you’ve kind of
had your time together, and based upon where you are and where you
want to be in the future, you recognize the fact that they really aren't the
right people or the right person in order for you to experience the things

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that you want. But because most of us live in a state of fear and we
worry that we’ll never find anyone better, we try to make things work
that really aren't working; we try to put the square peg in the round hole
and pretend everything is hunky-dory. Much like people who have an
unhappy marriage, and they don't really want to be together but they're
just staying in it for the kids. When you do that, what you’re doing is
you're presenting a dysfunctional relationship to the children—a
loveless, sexless marriage—and if that's what the kids see all growing
up, they think it's normal, they feel that it's normal. And then when they
start dating, they’re going to seek out the same kind of partners that
make them feel the same way as they did when they were growing up
in the household with you.

The best thing you can do for children in those kinds of instances is to
leave the relationship. Do the work on yourself that's necessary, so you
can attract somebody that’s a better fit for you, because what your kids
really need is a great example. And this is especially true if you find
that you’re in a relationship with somebody that's a lunatic and just not
capable of having a healthy relationship. By you being the better person
and wishing them the best so you can find better, you can be the one
that has the bigger influence, because our kids and human beings in
general, are always going to entrain with the more efficient operating
system. In other words, if you can present a better, more peaceful, more
relaxed, more loving environment, that's going to naturally feel better
and easier for them. And they're going to gravitate towards you and
they’ll follow your lead more than they will the other parent who might
be dysfunctional or messed up. And as they get older, especially when
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they get into their teenage years, then they’ll see your former partner or
your ex for what they really are.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/relationships-without-
attachments/14781

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Our Stories That Hold Us Back

“Everyone who is a master, expert at something, or the best in the world

at what they do, was at one point in their lives, a novice and a beginner
with no experience. The key to becoming successful in any endeavor or
area of your life that you need to improve is time and repetition of
simple, basic fundamentals. The reason why most people’s lives are
missing the people or circumstances that they really want, is the stories
that they tell themselves about why they don’t have what they want. A
disempowering story gives us a level of safety and comfort and justifies
not doing anything to help ourselves get what we want. Since we don’t
take any action, nothing changes in our lives, and our disempowering
story continues to validate and reinforce how we’re not living our lives
to reach our full potential. Progress and success depend upon taking
action, learning from your mistakes, and constantly refining and
adapting your approach over time. You must participate in your own
rescue. You are the only one who has the power to take action to get
you from where you are right now, to where you want to be in the
future.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

People who don't know any better say success is just simply a matter of
luck or being in the right place at the right time. The reality is, it's the
result of preparation meeting opportunity. If you don't prepare ahead of
time and improve yourself in the areas that you’re weak or not very
good at, then when a good opportunity comes along—maybe it's a job

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offer, that somebody heard about what a great job you do, but you
haven't developed your people skills or your interview skills, and then
you go and you have a job interview and you totally blow it, or you go
out on a date with a woman that you met unexpectedly that seems really,
super interested in you, more than most women do, and you haven't
prepared ahead of time—you typically will blow those opportunities.

So, even if you don't have the opportunities that you want right now,
you’ve got to prepare yourself and do the work, put the time in, and do
the repetitions in order to get confident and competent at whatever it is
that you need to improve, so when those opportunities come along,
you're able to take advantage of them and things just flow effortlessly
from there. If you wait for an opportunity to prepare, then when you do
get the opportunity, you're typically going to fumble the football.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/our-stories-that-hold-
us-back/17935

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Unexpected Dating & Relationship Curveballs

“In life and in relationships, sometimes things happen that you totally
did not expect. It is not the things that happen to us that are necessarily
unsettling, but the meaning we give them. The older we get and the
more life experience we have, the better we tend to become at dealing
with shocking news, lovers throwing us a curveball we did not expect,
etc. Knowing oneself and learning to not come unglued, but instead
remain centered and focused on our goals, dreams and outcomes is the
key to weathering the storms of life without losing hope, our
relationships or our happiness. Sometimes you will give your best, and
it still will not be enough. Give your best anyway.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

I remember Tom Brady, in an interview years ago, was talking about

getting yourself right emotionally, and it was after a game that he had
done really bad at. And one of the things I love about his coach at the
time, Bill Belichick, is that they’ll lose a game, he'll talk about it for a
little bit, and then he's literally on to the next game.

There was one year, they actually ended up winning the Super Bowl,
and things were not looking good for them. I remember him saying to
the reporters, they kept asking questions and he just got sick of the
bullshit questions and he just said, “We're on to Cincinnati,” because
they were like, “Hey, maybe the game has passed you by coach and it's

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over for you. Maybe Tom Brady is just too old,” and just being very
negative. And his whole point of being “on to Cincinnati” is his way of,
“I'm in the present moment. I'm thinking about what I need to do right
now, today, so we can get ready next week and turn this thing around.
I'm not going to sit here and dwell in the past. Yeah, we’re going to
learn from our mistakes, but what we’re really trying to do is prepare
for what's about to happen next week.” And so, it's all about getting
yourself right emotionally when life throws you curveballs and things
don't go your way.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/unexpected-dating-
relationship-curveballs/14635

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Personal Responsibility & Accountability

“Creating the life and lifestyle you want and really deserve is the result
of aligning yourself internally and externally with your most desired
outcomes. This means you must not tolerate the presence of or invite
anyone into your life that is not congruent or in harmony with your
outcomes. When you do, you’re vibrationally aligning with the opposite
of your desires. A person’s actions are reflective of their true intentions.
Personal responsibility and accountability means that you accept sole
responsibility for everyone and everything that shows up in your life as
a direct result of your thoughts, words and deeds. When you refuse to
blame others or things that are out of your control for your life
circumstances, only then will you be able to take total control of and
shape your destiny effectively.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The most successful people in history and today have one thing in
common: they look at everything that is in their lives as either they
attracted it into their life, they made it happen, or they invited those
particular circumstances. Because the second that you start blaming
other people for your circumstances—your lack of income, your lack
of a good job, your lack of a good relationship, your lack of having
health and a good, physically in-shape body—then you're powerless to
do anything about it because you're now telling yourself a story, that it's
not your fault, it’s somebody else's job to fix yourself or to fix your life.
The reality is, you must participate in your own rescue. Nobody is

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coming to save you; you have to do that yourself. If you're sitting
around waiting on a politician or your government or your employer to
give you a raise or have it legislated into existence, you're going to be
waiting a long time.

Self-reliant people recognize when they kind of hit the glass ceiling, so
to speak, at their current place of business, or if they’re entrepreneurs
and part of their business is not doing well, or one of their product lines
or service lines is not doing as well as it could, that they have to change
their approach; that something is not working. If they’re doing
advertising and it’s not working very effectively, you can sit there and
blame the TV station, or the internet company, or your marketing
company, saying they didn't do a good job. But, at the end of the day,
it's your product, it's your service, it's your business, and if something
is not working, you either get a new marketing company, you get them
to change their approach, you change your ad campaigns, whether it's
television or Internet type marketing, and you’ve got to find a way to
fix it and improve it.

Even if you're an employee working for somebody else, you want to

look at it the same way. You want to take personal responsibility,
because the one thing that employers love more than anything—and I'm
speaking from personal experience as a lifelong entrepreneur and
somebody that's hired and fired hundreds of people during their
career—if somebody's not living up to their full potential, it shows that
they lack the initiative, that they're not doing anything about it.
Exceptional employees don't wait to be told what to do, they actually

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go out and make things happen or they change their approach—they're
self-starters.

So, if you’re an employee working for somebody else, be a low-

maintenance, highly motivated person that's not waiting for an
opportunity or a promotion to be presented to you—you're always
going above and beyond what's asked of you. If you feel like you've
kind of hit the ceiling and you can't learn anymore, then you have to go
to the people that you work for and tell them you want more
responsibility, or you want to learn new things, or maybe there's a job
or a different position that you’d like to learn how to do. Become a
person of value instead of sitting there waiting for somebody else to
improve your value.

If you do that yourself, and you become exceptional at what you do,
and your current employer is not willing to promote you or to give you
a raise when you ask for it, then you have to go out and find somebody
else who will give you that opportunity. And once you line up a new
job, then you can put in your two-week's notice and move on to that
new job, because you have to negotiate on your behalf. You are your
own agent, if you will; it's your job to sell you and your skills and what
you bring to the table. And if you're working for other people or you
have business partners or investors or people that just simply aren't
valuing you, you have to ask for what you want.

It's like I’ve said before, you don't get what you deserve in life, you only
get what you negotiate. And people who aren't satisfied with their
income, whether it's working for themselves or working for somebody
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else, it's up to them to do something about it. Again, if you’re waiting
for somebody else to, you're powerless to change yourself and to shape
your destiny effectively.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/personal-
responsibility-accountability/24062

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 Taking Action

Changing Your Story Is Life Changing

“Changing the way you look at things will change the things you look
at and focus on for the better. You get what you focus on in life. What
you focus on expands. Most people have a negative story and self-
image that they continually tell themselves. They therefore are always
looking for the reasons why things won’t work out for them, they have
bad luck, people won’t like them, they won’t get what they want, etc.
Become aware of your own internal self-talk and ask better quality
questions: What’s good about this? How can I use this? How can I learn
from this? How can this make me a better person? What can I focus on
and be grateful for? What’s working in my life?” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Wayne Dyer was the one that I heard originally—I think it was in his
Power of Intention course, his DVD set many years ago—he said,
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at
change.” It really boils down to your mindset and your self-perception,
how you look at the world and how you define your world and your
circumstances. If you don't think you're capable, just like, going back
to what Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you can't,
either way, you are right.” If you believe you're capable, you will take
actions that are consistent with that. If you believe that you’re at a

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disadvantage or you're not capable, then you'll take actions that are
consistent with that perception.

In order to get to where you want to be in life, you have to have hope,
you have to have belief in yourself, you have to believe that things are
eventually going to work out in your favor and you’ve got to see
progress, because that's what success is. Success is making progress in
your life. It may be just simple progress like learning something new.
It also may mean, say you're initially scared of approaching or talking
to women. Well, nobody's good at anything when they first start out.
Everybody starts out as a beginner. And as you apply more and you do
things more, repetition is the mother of skill.

Excellence is not a singular act, whatever we do repeatedly forms

habits, and that's how we become really exceptional at things, is
practicing it over, and over, and over. And when you practice things
over, and over, and over again, you get experiences. You get
experiences of seeing things work, and you also get experience seeing
things that don't work. It's the successes that give you the confidence to
do more, and also the failures show you what doesn't work. And the
more you practice at something, the better you're going to get at it.
Anybody that you look up to or that you admire, that's really amazing
at what they do, they started out as a beginner.

A prime example is somebody like an Elon Musk. His background is in

technology, and yet now, Tesla is one of the most successful car
companies in the world, but yet, he didn't start out in the car business.
PayPal is one of the most successful online financial transaction

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companies in the world; he didn't start out in the banking industry. He
saw a need, he saw a service that he could provide, and he sought out
to make it happen. He didn't start out as a rocket scientist or rocket
engineer, even though his background is in engineering. He figured out
how to make rockets, and now his company, SpaceX, is the only
company on the planet that has reusable rockets that can launch a
payload into space and return itself right back to the launchpad and land
on a dime.

He wasn't an expert in any of these things, but through time and

repetition, and tons of failures, and figuring out what didn't work, and
surrounding himself with a great team of people who were just as
passionate about his vision as he was, eventually, over a decade or
more, in each of his companies, they became multibillion-dollar
companies, just simply through time and repetition, learning from his
mistakes, filling in his knowledge gaps, and growing his reserve of
knowledge.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/changing-your-story-
is-life-changing/14378

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Being Centered Vs. Diminished

“Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently by learning

from your mistakes, adapting your approach, modeling what others do
that makes them successful and taking action based upon the lessons
learned from your previous failures. Successful people know failure is
a necessary, unavoidable and essential component of mastering
anything you want to become great at. Unsuccessful people use failure
as an excuse to quit and give up. Trials, tribulations, hardships,
setbacks, challenges and obstacles are the friction that will polish you
into a finely tuned instrument of success, mastery and manifestation;
much like gems are made valuable by polishing with abrasives.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

A diamond is formed through high-pressure and heat, and it's a great

metaphor for men and how we polish ourselves, so to speak, by taking
on hard tasks, by taking risks, by overcoming challenges, by
persevering through the difficult times. Because when you're able to
persevere through trials, and tribulations, and hardships and setbacks
and still not lose your enthusiasm, when you finally get whatever it is
that you're seeking or looking for, you’re going to appreciate it that
much more because of the struggle and the time it took to get there.
Because most people are going to give up as soon as they encounter the
first difficulty, challenge, failure, or setback on their journey to
reaching their highest potential. But winners and high achievers keep

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moving forward because the payoff that they expect to achieve someday
is so emotionally compelling to them.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/being-centered-vs-
diminished/24970

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Free At Last!

“Deciding to no longer live your life according to the unreasonable

expectations of others is one of the smartest decisions you can make
that will contribute to and enhance your overall quality of life.
Sacrificing your grandest goals and dreams in hopes it will make
someone else love or treat you better is a sure-fire way to make yourself
miserable. You can’t give away what you don’t already have for
yourself. The purpose of all relationships is that you go there to give. If
you aren’t already happy being by yourself, you will never be happy in
a relationship and will find it impossible to make yourself consistently
happy in a long-term relationship. When you fall in love with yourself
and your life first, only then will you make a good teammate to those
with whom you are in a relationship.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Many people, when they grow up—they reach adolescence and they get
into their university years, their college years, and even into their early
20s—they're trying to please their parents, they’re trying to live up the
unreasonable expectations of their parents. And when I do coaching
sessions with people who are trying to figure out their purpose, I
oftentimes see people that are in university or in their early 20s and
they're going for a degree that’s not really exciting or compelling
because they’re trying to make their parents happy; because when they
told their parents what they really wanted to do, they said “That's a

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stupid idea. You'll never make any money at that. You should go and
get an Engineering degree.”

I see this a lot with guys that are from India, and it’s just part of the
culture. You're expected to do what your parents want you to do, and it
oftentimes leads to misery because you're not living your life because
it's exciting and compelling to you. You're trying to live the life that
somebody else has designed or chosen for you. And you're never going
to be happy that way. That's why it's so important to live your life
according to your own expectations and coming up with your own
motivations why you do what you do. Because sacrificing your greatest
goals and dreams, whether it's for your family, for your woman, for
your friends, or because it looks good to the rest of the world, is never
going to lead to perpetual happiness and fulfillment.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/free-at-last/26661

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You’re Not Broken

“Every human being needs a compelling vision and mission for their
lives. An emotionally compelling reason to get up and take action every
day towards being and becoming something that is exciting and
exhilarating to them. Everyone has unique latent talents that are just
waiting to be tapped, practiced and refined. Success is a process.
Feeling successful and fulfilled is the result of making progress towards
your grand vision for your life. Whatever you endeavor to become or
create in life, becoming great at anything takes at a minimum, a decade
or more to accomplish or make significant progress. Kids are always
excited and relentless when they seek to become or create something.
People start dying when they stop playing, lose hope or have nothing to
look forward to. In nature, when something stops growing, it starts
dying and is eliminated.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is probably one of the greatest challenges for most people, is

figuring out what their purpose and their mission is in life. And if you've
created a story in your head that you tell yourself about what your
capabilities are, we typically develop these stories because we’re trying
to avoid pain, we’re trying to avoid letting ourselves down, we’re trying
to avoid being disappointed. But without realizing it, what this causes
us to do, over time and over the years, is become more averse to taking
risks.

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In other words, we always try to play it safe—not rock the boat too
much—not get too much out of our comfort zone, because we don't
want to risk things too much. The reality is you want to take measured
risks. You don't want to be so reckless that you risk your money, your
job, your health, your well-being, and then it all comes crashing down.

You have to take small, incremental risks—small, incremental steps

outside of your comfort zone—just enough so, whether you succeed or
you fail in your attempts, you can learn something and you can measure
your results. Because when you measure your results, then you can
notice what's working and what's not working and continue to refine
and change your approach until one day, usually after 10 or 15 years,
your life finally starts to look like the vision that you had many years
before.

It's a slow, excruciatingly slow, incremental process, so you have to

learn to be infinitely patient and continue to take action day in and day
out.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/youre-not-
broken/30515

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Becoming A Better Man

“Benjamin Franklin once said, “An investment in knowledge pays the

best interest.” Smart people understand the importance of learning from
those who have more skills, experience and success than they do,
instead of trying to reinvent the wheel and do everything on their own.
No matter what you want to do or become in life, there are usually many
people who have gone before you and made all of the expensive and
costly mistakes you can avoid by learning from them and learning what
to do instead to succeed. Most people spend little to no time learning
from those who have what they consider an ideal and successful life.
Successful people are no different or no smarter than the average
person, but what sets them apart is their laser-like focus on filling in
their knowledge gaps and persevering to find the quickest and most
efficient path to achieving their goals. Unsuccessful people are focused
on earning a living and getting through the work week, while successful
people are focused on discovering and perfecting their skills to make
attainment of their outcomes possible.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Very few people in life spend their time developing themselves,

growing their reserve of knowledge, developing their talents,
developing their skills, following their heart, their curiosity, and their
intuition to see where it leads. Because when something feels good,
when you're interested in something, there’s something that you're
really curious about and you're passionate about, and you start to obsess

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over it, the more you spend your time immersed in it and becoming
better at it, the wiser you'll become and the more proficient you'll
become at it. And, oftentimes, your heart, your curiosity, and your
intuition compels you to move in a certain direction, and you think it's
going to lead you to a certain place, but as you go on that journey, other
possibilities, other circumstances, other people, other opportunities will
come along that also feel good and also feel right. So, it's like, when
you decide you want to do something or accomplish some kind of big
goal, most of the time you’re going to have no idea how you're going
to get there. But you have to start moving forward towards it, because
as you start moving towards the things that you want, you’re going to
see opportunities, and you need to explore those and see where it goes.

You might find a job that you love today, but after a year and a half,
you feel like you've learned everything that you can learn from this
company, and now you're looking for the next opportunity. Instead of
just staying there and staying stuck in that opportunity, you’ve got to
be looking for the next opportunity; maybe it's in another company,
maybe it's a lateral move, maybe it's building something on the side in
your spare bedroom in your spare time, so can start building something
for yourself, some kind of side business, that eventually can grow to the
point where, once the income gets close to what you're earning now,
you can move away.

You have to trust what feels right to you and see where it leads you,
because success, it’s not a straight line. It’s kind of like a line, a circle,
it’s just all over the place, kind of like going up and down black

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diamond trails on a ski slope. You're going to end up at your destination,
it’s just, there’s all kinds of twists and turns and you have to see where
it leads. Because the average person gets a job, gets a steady paycheck,
and then they just try to maintain that. That’s what average people do.
High-achievers are always looking for the next opportunity, the bigger,
better deal: “Where can I learn more? Where can I grow more? Where
can I continue my journey to get me closer to my ideal life?”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/becoming-a-better-
man/25983

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The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Me

“Everyone has the potential to become great at things they presently

suck at or only dream about. In order to capitalize upon your
magnificent divine potential, you must take action. When you take
action, you will get results good, bad and indifferent. Your results will
shape your beliefs and certainty about yourself and your capabilities.
The more certain you become, the more you will perceive your infinite
potential. This in turn makes you more certain, comfortable and willing
to take even more action upon your potential that gives you more
results. Over time your momentum snowballs giving you ever
increasing amounts of certainty in your beliefs and capability. This is
how you become fearless and unstoppable.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Obviously, if you’ve read my books, and seen the stories, and read the
stories and heard the stories about the way I used to be, I mean, when I
was younger, I was really insecure and really unsure of myself, just
because of the environment that I grew up in where there wasn’t a lot
of hugs, there wasn't a lot of “I love yous,” (I don’t think I ever even
heard that when I was a child). But I saw other friends, whose parents
said, “I love you” and gave them plenty of strokes and plenty of hugs,
and over time, as I practiced and I developed my social skills, and I
worked in different types of customer service jobs, I slowly started to
realize that people treated me differently than they treated others. They

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could tell that I was hungry, that I was driven, and as people gave me
positive feedback, that continued to grow my confidence.

It was the same thing when it came to talking to women. I was always
very social when I was young, it's just that, when I encountered a
woman that I really liked, it's like my mind would go blank, I wouldn’t
know what to say, I’d get all stuck in my head and things would no
longer flow. And I remember, one time, I think I was like 20-21, and I
was walking out of this restaurant, and I noticed that the girl that was
working at the hostess stand was really cute and she was very friendly.
And I remember, I walked out the door and I was just thinking, “Man,
I should ask for her number.” And I was like, terrified, but I thought,
“You know what, fuck it. Even if I get rejected, I'm going to feel good
about myself, because I took the attempt. And you know what, maybe
I'll light her up. Maybe I'll make her day and make her smile.”

And so, I turned around and I walked back in, and I don't remember
what I said to her, I said, “You have a really nice smile” or “You seem
nice,” “You’re really pretty,” or “You’re beautiful,” whatever it was,
and I remember she just turned, even though she had a nice tan, she just
turned beet red when I complimented her. And I think I asked her for
her phone number, or I asked her out on a date, I can't remember
specifically at this point, because it’s been so many years. You know,
she’s all beet red, and she got kind of nervous, and she said, “Oh, I
would love to, but I have a boyfriend.” And I was like, “Cool. Well,
he’s a lucky guy. Have a great day,” and I just walked out.

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And for me, that was a big moment, because I went ahead and took the
risk very publicly, in a very busy restaurant, in front of a bunch of
people, and I didn't care; I was doing it for me. Yeah, it would've been
nice if she would have been available and had given me her number and
we would’ve gone out, but it was me overcoming my fear of
approaching and talking to the beautiful woman. And from that point
forward, I started looking at it as “Hey, at least I can light her up.”

Because when you authentically compliment a woman, and you say

things, whatever it is you feel—“God, you’re fucking intoxicating to
look at,” “God, you take my fucking breath away,” “You have a fucking
unbelievable body,” “You have a perfect body,” “You’re one of the
most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life,” “I love your smile,” “I
love your energy,” “You have the most beautiful eyes”—these are the
kinds of things that, based on the moment and where I'm at, and what
I'm thinking, and what I'm feeling, it just comes right out.

Very few women have experienced a man who just blurts out exactly
what they think, exactly what they feel, without any apology, and it's
his authentic truth. And women appreciate that. Even if they're taken,
or they're married, or they’re in a relationship, they appreciate the fact
that you had the balls to approach them, you weren’t trying to hide your
interest, you weren’t trying to fly under the radar and be their friend
first, you were just right out with it. Your masculinity was just noticing
beauty.

As Zan Perrion says, “Beauty needs a witness.” So, when it comes to

women and you see a gorgeous woman—even if she's married, you see
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a ring on her finger, but she takes your breath away—go up and tell her
what you think and what you feel, and give her the compliment, “Hey,
I know you're married, I see a ring in your finger, but I just had to tell
you because you're just intoxicating, you’re amazing. Have a great
day.” She’ll be all red, and she’ll appreciate the fact that you gave her
a compliment and you didn't want anything from her, you didn't need
anything from her, you were just simply giving your gift. You were
noticing beauty, and beauty needs a witness. So, be that witness. Your
life will be a lot better for it.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-good-the-bad-the-
ugly-me/14110

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Don’t Waste Your Time

“Life is short. It is a gift with an expiration date. Life is meant to be

lived and enjoyed through physical experiences by deciding what you
want and then relentlessly taking action to make it happen. Make sure
you are actually living your life and enjoying it by taking action, instead
of living in your head and creating unrealized fantasies of what could
be, but never taking any action to make it happen. Having faith that
things will work out, but not taking any action to make it happen is
meaningless.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Most people are living lives of quiet desperation, just trying to get
through the work week, get to the weekend, so they can have some
peace, maybe have a few beverages of the alcoholic kind, or some kind
of other drugs, or TV, or food, or whatever happens to be to escape from
their lives. But they’re really not doing anything to move their lives
forward. They, in essence, are avoiding life. The reality is, time is going
to pass, and whatever you do or fail to do is going to determine the
trajectory of your destiny and where you ultimately end up. By taking
action and moving towards the things you want and putting your head
down, you’re going to feel a lot better about yourself, and incrementally
you'll see small, positive daily changes.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dont-waste-your-
time/14561

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Money, Women, Work & Sexual Desire

“Many men make the mistake of confusing being a good provider by

making a good living, earning money and providing material things for
their women with being her knight in shining armor, her rock, her lover,
her mysterious prince that she can’t get enough of. In other words, when
a man becomes so caught up in his career, purpose and mission in life
that he stops romancing and courting his woman properly, he
mistakenly assumes that because he is providing financially, that all of
her needs are magically met because he is a great money mule. Women
want to be in a love story of two people designing and creating a great
life together, not a story about a guy who works, makes a lot of money,
but who never spends quality time with his woman or family. Guys who
say that they are so busy that they never have the time for their wives,
always seem to find the time for their divorce lawyers after their women
have left them.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

What I see a lot of times when I’m trying to help guys in long-term
relationships that I’m doing phone sessions with is they’re either not
communicating with her properly, so she feels heard and understood,
or they stopped dating and courting her. Like many guys—and this
happens slowly, it’s not something that happens overnight, it's usually
after many months and many years of being together—it's like, the guy
feels like he won her over, she loves him, they’re married, they’re living
together, “Hey we’ve got a 30-year mortgage, she ain’t going

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anywhere,” and then the whole weekend, the whole week, becomes the
same boring, dull routine. “Oh, we’ll take a vacation in six months,
honey.” “Well, we'll do that later on down the road. I need to make this
money; I need to make that happen.” And women want to be in a love
story.

When you're dating, you do these little things. But the longer you're
together, especially once you start living together or you get married,
what happens is you just get busy, you gett caught up in life, especially
if you have kids—everything becomes about taking care of the kids,
providing the kids with what they need, making sure they get educated
properly, making sure that they're at their sports practices or their
activities on time—and then they don't make time for each other.

You have to have a solid relationship between the two of you, because
women know that if the guy stops dating and courting her properly,
what's happening is they start to feel like he doesn't care about them,
because he took the time in the past when they were dating and courting,
and now that they're married, it's like he takes her for granted and no
longer invests the time to plan fun dates where just the two of them can
go out and have a blast together and kind of escape from life. If you
don't date your wife or your girlfriend, eventually, some other dude's
going to come along and date her for you.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/money-women-work-
sexual-desire/14883

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OMG! She’s Wearing Me Out In Bed!

“Life is meant to be enjoyed and appreciated. The purpose of life is to

have fun and live in the moment. Nothing lasts forever. It’s always best
to embrace opportunities when they present themselves. Whether it be
meeting a spectacular new lover, making a new friend, or embracing a
new business or career opportunity. When you get in the flow of life
and live with gratitude, you open yourself up to new and exciting
possibilities to manifest effortlessly. Follow your passion, curiosity and
intuition. Trust in yourself and what feels right, it will never steer you
wrong.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I can't remember who said it or even where it comes from, but it's
something along the lines of that “God's kind of got a sense of humor,
and life is basically what happens to you when you're busy making other
plans.” And the way I look at that is if you're busy and you're obsessed
about your life, and your mission, and your purpose, and you’re just
really busy taking action and moving towards the things you want in
life, you’re living in the present moment. You're not in the future
worried about what may or may not happen, and you’re not dwelling in
the past about things didn't work out or things didn't go your way; you're
just busy doing what you know you need to do right now. Because,
when you're focused on being busy and taking action, you're moving
forward, and things start happening, you start circulating amongst other
people a lot more than when you're taking a step back and you’re

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pondering and you're worrying about what may or may not happen in
the future.

So, being in the present moment, at the end of the day, is the only
moment that really is there. And so, any time you find yourself feeling
bad, or you’re dwelling in the past, or worried about the future, the best
medicine for that is to just get busy. Go to the gym, go work out, go for
a run, go for a walk in the park, go do something. Pick up the phone
and call somebody that you care about and tell them how much you
love them, or you appreciate them, or make a list of things to do and
start checking some of those things off.

Because what happens, even if you're having to force yourself to do

things, like for me, personally, when I don't feel like doing something I
just sit down and I force myself to do it. Because when I have to do a
video newsletter or I have to write something, oftentimes it’s in the
morning, and the last thing I feel like doing is working. But I’ve got to
get things done, and so I just put my head down and start taking action.
And sometimes it may take me 15-20 minutes to get in the flow and
kind of lose myself in the process of taking action.

So, even though those first 10-15 minutes are not pleasant and you're
thinking, “This sucks, I really don't want to do this,” “I’d rather be at
the beach,” “I’d rather be chilling with some friends,” “I'd rather be
hanging out with my girl,” “I'd rather be out on a boat, or on the beach
or doing something fun,” I lose myself in the moment just taking action.
And then, like I said, even on the worst days where the last thing I want
to do is do some work, I just force myself to move forward. Usually,
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15-20 minutes max, and then I get into it, and now I’m kind of excited
about it, and then I stop thinking about the future and the fact that I
didn't want to do it. Then I kind of just get to the point where I'm
actually excited about what I'm doing, and I lose myself in that process.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/omg-shes-wearing-me-
out-in-bed/13970

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Weak Men

“Feminine women only feel safe and comfortable around masculine

men who are comfortable in their natural masculine essence. When they
are around weak, feminized, placating Beta males who are unsure of
how to lead, they feel unsafe. This forces women to move into their
masculine essence, which is not their dominant essence. This causes
them to resent having to “be the man” in their relationships and leads
to a loss of respect for men not being men consistently. Loss of respect
results in lower attraction. A superior man must always lead, be
masculine, move with a purpose and vision for one’s own life and
pursue becoming all that he can be with all he’s got. This vibe embodies
the essence of divine masculinity and is what feminine women are most
sexually attracted to.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Women don't want to be the leader in a relationship; they are more

designed to follow a great man's lead and be his greatest teammate and
cheerleader. The quickest way to turn a woman off is to start acting like
a bitch, acting unsure of yourself, and trying to make her the leader.

I was sitting on my balcony yesterday having some frothy beverages

and just watching all the people walk by my building, and I'm always
observing people, and it's just interesting to watch men and women
walking together. And a lot of the time what you see is the guy is always
walking a foot or two or three behind the woman. And it's obvious,

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whoever is the leader is the one that's in front—the word lead means to
go first. So, when you're with women, make sure you're at least walking
beside them or, even better, a few steps ahead of them, being the leader.
Try it, watch couples as they walk together. You'll see this a lot,
especially when they have kids, that the woman is usually walking in
front and the guy is just following her lead; it's obvious that she
completely wears the pants in the family.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/weak-men/31809

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Scarcity Vs. Unlimited Resources

“Most people in this world do not know how to get what they want in
life. They tend to take whatever they can get, which is usually nothing
or less than optimal. True freedom comes from knowing your value,
learning the science of achievement and knowing that with enough
time, you can get a better job, build a better business, attract a higher
quality lover, better friends and even start over after losing everything.
Having choices leads to certainty, peace, optimism and a compelling
future. Not feeling like you have any choice leads to scarcity, fear and
loss of hope. When you lose hope and positive expectation of a
compelling future, you start dying little by little, piece by piece.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

If you think about it, most people who never reach their full potential
have given up on themselves and their dreams by their late 20s and early
30s. And when you lose hope, when you have convinced yourself and
you've created a story that all the dreams and all the things that you
want are just simply out of reach for you, you're not going to try
anymore. What's the motivation to go to the gym and continue taking
care of your body if you feel your life sucks and you’re unworthy and
undeserving of the things that you want? Why eat healthily? If you don't
have the people you want in your life, why make the effort to increase
the quality of the friends in your peer group? If you're in a miserable,
unhappy relationship, but yet you don't believe that you deserve better,

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what's the motivation to change or to leave that person to improve
yourself, so you can become a better-quality person and, therefore, a
better catch?

At the end of the day, time is going to pass. You can spend your time
working, trying to get better, or you can spend your time just trying to
get through the work week, so you can have some peace on the
weekend. Do you really want to get to the end of your life and then have
a bunch of regrets that you didn't take more action and take more risks?
That's something to think about.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/scarcity-vs-unlimited-
choices/30649

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Having Multiple Romantic Options

“Having multiple romantic options while you are dating is the best way
to build your confidence, cultivate an abundance mentality, overcome
feelings of neediness and desperation, and perfect your dating and
seduction skills, so you can attract the perfect long-term partner for you.
When you have few romantic options and meet someone you really like
when you still do not have emotional self-control, you will most likely
chase them right out of your life and talk them out of liking you. Most
women have many romantic options, and this helps them get over
breakups way faster than the average male does. Plus, women are never
really out of the dating game. Why? They are constantly being hit on
when they are single, dating, in a relationship or married. Women who
were previously off the market, simply can start saying yes to dates,
instead of rejecting men when they become single again. We all deserve
to have the best that we can get. When we have lots of choices, we
won’t settle for someone that is less than what we really deserve
because we don’t have to.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is what I recommend to guys who are reading my first book, How
To Be A 3% Man, and they're really trying to learn the skills in there.
It's important, because repetition is the mother of skill, to practice and
have multiple options, because you need to practice to get better.
Because you never know when you're going to meet the next great love
of your life who really likes you. And if you don't do the work ahead of

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time and you’re just learning the things that are in my book, you still
have that old, bad behavior that you're naturally inclined to exhibit. And
so, by practicing with other women, improving your skills and taking
them through the dating and seduction process, because the process is
the process—it's just like working out and eating right to get the body
that you want—you have to go through the process day in and day out.

And until you're able to see lots of successes applying the mindset, the
philosophy, the fundamentals, and the techniques that are in my book,
it really is just a mental concept at that point. And, therefore, unless you
have those successes with other women or multiple women, you’re
really not going to have the confidence in yourself that, when you meet
that girl that just knocks your socks off and blows you away, and you’re
thinking this is your dream girl, what's going to happen is you’re going
to revert back to your old behavior, because you still don't have
emotional self-control yet. And then, she's going to pick up on that and
start backing away, and if you're already displaying weakness and
you’re already in a fearful state, instead of an abundance mindset,
you’re going to chase her right out of your life.

But if you do the work, you put the time in, and you practice the things
that are in the book, you’re going to get good enough to the point where
most women that you are happy to date now, six months from now, you
won't even give them the time of day and, like me, you might not date
very often, because it's just hard to find somebody that has everything
that you're looking for. But when you do come across somebody that's
got everything you're looking for, you’re going to do everything right
because you prepared ahead of time. And it can be a beautiful love story

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that slowly evolves over time, because you know exactly what's going
to happen—you can read her body language, you can read her vibe, her
physiology.

And the women that I wrote about in my book were great loves of my
life; they completely changed who I am and made me the man I am
today. I don't remember all of the thousands and thousands of women
that I've interacted with over the course of my life, and God knows how
many first or second or third dates I've been out with women that I don’t
even remember their name, I don’t even remember going out with them.
I remember the ones that have a huge, big impact on me that I have
really great memories with—the ones that really changed my life. And
because I have all that great experience, when I am single and I meet
somebody new, it just happens like clockwork, it happens
automatically. And it will happen for you if you put the time in and you
do the work.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/having-multiple-
romantic-options/17400

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Why You Do What You Do

“In order to achieve and experience all that you want to in life, you must
first know what you want, and then why you want it. The most effective
way to set and achieve goals is to write down each goal, and then come
up with a list of the negative emotions and experiences you will have
by not taking action and not achieving it. Then list the positive emotions
and experiences you will have if you do take action and do achieve it.
Then you must review each goal daily and the associated pain you will
experience if you don’t do what you know you need to do, and the
pleasure you will experience if you do what you know you need to do.
This is based upon Aristotle’s observation that people will do more to
avoid pain than they will do to gain pleasure. This makes avoiding the
goal and not taking action painful and taking action to achieve the goal
pleasurable. Most people that don’t achieve their goals associate pain
with taking action and trying, therefore they never start trying, or they
only try to accomplish their goals for a very short period of time before
giving up. Without creating the proper emotional leverage upon
yourself, achieving your goals will be almost impossible.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

If you don't have the results that you want in your life right now, if
you're not achieving or you don't feel like you're on the path to
achieving the things that you want, it's because of the story that you tell
yourself about yourself, and your capabilities, and the way you look at

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things. It's all about your mindset and the meanings that you're
assigning to the circumstances of your life. And the reality is, achieving
your big, grand goals and dreams is going to require you to do a lot of
things that you don't want to do that are unpleasant, maybe even painful.
But the reality is, you're going to have to go through those painful
things, you’re going to have to overcome those challenges.

Sometimes, you’ve got to do things you hate in order to do the things

that you love, and for me, personally, this is why it took me seven years
to get a four-year degree when I was in college; because I associated a
lot of pain towards doing a lot of classwork that I really didn’t enjoy
and didn't want to do. And once I understood how that was sabotaging
my success and causing me to take no action at all, and why I was
getting nowhere and continually dropping classes, then I was able to
look at and get leverage upon myself and associate pain with not doing
the unpleasant things and associate pleasure with doing the things that
I didn't want to do because of, ultimately, where I was going to be able
to end up in the future. And because I associated pleasure with doing
unpleasant things, because of the eventual payoff, I was able to put my
head down and do the work and, eventually, finish college within a
pretty short period of time—almost about a year and a half, two years
once I finally figured out what I had been doing to sandbag and sabotage
my own success.

So, if you’ve got something that you want to accomplish, it’s just like,
now, it's like a way I think. So, I don't really enjoy lifting weights, and
like this morning, I got up and ran a couple of miles. And I was pretty

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tired when I got up, the last thing I wanted to do was hop on the
treadmill and run a couple of miles. But I thought about how good I was
going to feel, how much sharper my mental clarity was going to be, and
then when I sat down to do this recording, I was going to be in the best
physical state possible. So, even though I didn't feel like it, I didn't feel
like getting out of bed, I thought about all the pleasure I was going to
feel after it was done. And those first four or five minutes on the
treadmill, I’m not going to lie, I wasn't really enjoying it and I didn't
really want to be on there. But after I finished those 20 minutes on the
treadmill, I felt really good, I felt awake, I felt sharper.

And the same thing with weight training; I don't feel like going and
working out most days. I think about how good I'm going to feel after
the workout is done, and how good I'm going to look, and how attractive
that's going to keep my body looking so, obviously, the ladies notice.
And I feel good, and I look good, and I'll be happier, because I feel
better when I work out, I feel better when I do weights, I feel better
when I run on the treadmill, I feel better when I eat healthy.

When I have days when I don't feel like making my green juice or going
to the grocery store to buy all of the healthy ingredients, I feel a physical
difference where I have lower energy and it brings me down. So, even
though I don’t really enjoy the forty-five minutes to an hour process
that it takes to make the juice, or the half-hour it takes to make the
smoothies, I think about how good it’s going to make me feel, how good
it's going to make me look, and how it's going to extend my life beyond
what most people get to experience in life. And that way, I'm going to

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be able to achieve all the things I want to achieve before my time is up
on this planet.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-you-do-what-you-
do/35467

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Why Is My Life Not Working?

“In order to be successful and get what you want in your personal and
professional interactions, you must have enthusiasm, confidence and a
purpose for your interactions that is outcome focused. A lack of
enthusiasm communicates that you lack confidence and don’t expect to
succeed. Winners expect to win and act like success is inevitable, even
if success is delayed. Losers expect to lose and consciously and
unconsciously sabotage their success. When you don’t believe or don’t
feel you deserve to win, other people can sense and feel this. If you are
unsure you can win, it’s always better to make your best effort and be
happy with any and all results, since doing your best and trying to get
better is all that matters. The more you practice things you are not good
at, the better you will become over time. Everyone starts out as a novice.
Nobody is born and expert. Experts achieve mastery only through time
and repetition.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is super important: having enthusiasm. If you're applying for a job,

you want to have enthusiasm for the employer. You want to be excited
about the possibility of going to work there, or to work with their team,
or to work for that company. Like, when I went to the last construction
job that I worked in the construction industry, Centex Rooney, in the
mid-90s, they were doing a lot of Disney work. They basically built
95% of all the resorts at Disney World, the Fort Wilderness Lodge, the
Coronado Springs Resort, which was the one I worked on, they built

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the Tower of Terror. And they worked on really big projects of a
hundred million dollars and up. I mean, their stuff was ten, twenty,
thirty million at the time, but they were really great at really big kind of
work.

I had never worked on projects that were that big. And so, when I was
interviewing for the job, I had a lot of friends that worked at the
company, I knew a lot of guys in the construction industry that had
worked at the company, and being able to move to Orlando and work
on Disney projects was like a dream of mine, because the area was so
beautiful. That Disney property in Disney World is just amazing, how
immaculate it is, well designed, well run, clean. It's just a beautiful
place. That's why they call it the Magic Kingdom; it really is magical.

And it was an honor to be able to work on those projects. And anytime

I go down there, even though it's been almost 25 years, at this point,
since I worked on that project, I'm proud of the work that I did there.
It's a beautiful property. And if you ever happen to come to Orlando,
Florida at Walt Disney World, I highly recommend that you stay at the
Coronado Springs Resort. And if you’ve got an event, plan it at the
convention center there, because it's just an amazing property.

So, when I was interviewing for the job, I was excited about it. When I
interviewed with the CEO, I went to school with his son, so I knew him.
The marketing manager I knew, because he was one of my professors.
The scheduling manager for Centex Rooney I knew, because he was
also one of my professors, and so, I had a lot of connections there. And
then when I came up to Orlando to interview with the Executive Vice
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President that ran all the Disney projects, everybody down in South
Florida at the main office wanted to hire me, and, obviously, he had the
final say, but I was excited, I expressed enthusiasm for it. I wanted to
be there, I wanted to be a part of that team, I wanted to be able to have
the name Centex Rooney on my resume as having worked for them and
worked on a big project like that.

So, I was certain I was going to get the job, because I had so many
connections that I had made in college and in the industry just through
the College of Engineering and Design at Florida International
University. And so, between those connections and the fact that I really
wanted to be there, I almost, I should say, I had an attitude of certainty.
I knew, I believed, I was certain that I was going to get that job, because
I was so close to it. It's the same thing when I go out on a date with a
woman I really like and who really likes me; I have enthusiasm for her,
and she has an enthusiasm for me.

It's easy to be fun and flirtatious and have a good time and be attractive
when you're with a girl you really like, instead of a girl that you’re just
going out with and you're hoping to get laid, but the conversation
doesn't flow and you’re having to force it. It's the same thing when you
have people that are acquaintances that you hang out with. It's like, the
conversations are kind of forced, and they’re a little bit fake, they’re a
little bit phony, because you're just not really that enthusiastic about
being there, versus hanging out with somebody that you consider a best
friend, where you love hanging out with them, they love hanging out
with you, you’ve got similar goals, you’ve got similar values, you're
into the same things, you look forward to getting together.

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The same thing when you have family members that you love hanging
out with, or when you're meeting with a client who you really want to
earn their business—you’re excited, you’re expressing enthusiasm. Or,
if you're selling a product you really love and you really believe in, your
enthusiasm and your passion for that product or service is what helps
convince those people to spend time with you, or to do business with
you, or to hire you, or whatever it may be.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-is-my-life-not-
working/27242

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The Waiting Game

“In life we sometimes have to play the waiting game by being infinitely
patient when it comes to love, successful negotiations and getting what
we want. When we continue to pursue the things, people and
circumstances we want, instead of letting them come to us after
expressing our desire without attachment, we actually push them away
from us, because the very nature of pursuing is to demonstrate what you
don’t have and what you lack. Once you can do without what you want,
you then create the space for what you want to choose you back, and
effortlessly manifest in your life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Many guys have had this experience over the course of their lives where
they’re trying to meet and date women, and they’re just having no luck,
they’re encountering one rejection after another, and they’re starting to
question themselves. And eventually, finally, that fucking worm turns
and they start meeting and dating the kind of women they want. And
then they meet somebody they really like and then they get into a
relationship, and then all of a sudden it seems like all these different
women want to date them and they’re thinking, “Where the hell were
all these girls when I was single?”

It's the vibration that you put out, it's one of not being hungry. If you
already had too much, and I use this a lot with guys that are struggling,
when they're fixated on a girl that they've been screwing up with and
things are kind of going sideways, I get them the contemplate: “Well,

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what would it be like if you had two or three women in your life that
were blowing up your phone and wanting to come over and hang out,
and have fun, and hook up with you and basically drain your balls dry,
and yet you’ve got this girl that you really want to be with, and she's
really not making any effort? If you’ve got three girls that are really
trying to get your time and attention and you're hanging out, and having
fun, and hooking up with them, they’re going keep your focus off that
woman that you really want, but it's not moving along at the pace that
you're happy with.”

And so, by thinking from that kind of state, it helps them to imagine
what kind of actions, and what kind of words, and what kind of vibe
and body language they need to give off, so they can progress things
with the girl they really want to be with, but it's not really progressing
as they want.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-waiting-
game/14359

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 The Art Of Attraction

Attraction & Successfully Setting Dates

“Attraction isn’t a choice. Mother nature has already taken care of

mutual sexual attraction. The problem most guys have is that once they
open their mouths, they tend to talk women right out of liking them
because they do not know how to act like men, or they act weird and
creepy which causes the natural sexual attraction to evaporate.
Successful men are decisive, confident, get right to the point, are
unashamed of their sexual attraction and set dates on the spot. The more
a guy hesitates, acts timid or tries to be something he is not to impress
the woman he desires, the quicker he will turn her off as she starts to
doubt that he is good for her.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Typically, what happens when the average guy that doesn't know any
better meets a woman for the first time is he gets all up in his head, he
starts thinking about and worrying, “Does she like me? Will she like
me?” This puts them in the approval-seeking mindset, where he's
worried about her attention and her validation, instead of being more
discerning and selective in trying to determine whether or not she is
actually good for him. Because that's typically how women approach
dating, they go on a date with the attitude of “Is this guy good for me?
Do I like this guy?” In other words, she's asking herself, “Do I accept
him? Do I like him enough to want to keep seeing him?”

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If men would incorporate this same kind of mindset and same kind of
philosophy, their interactions would go a lot further, a lot smoother, and
a lot better, because he would kind of be skeptical as well. He wouldn't
be sure of her, and therefore, it’s just like in sales: if you're buying
something, you have to determine whether or not your prospect is a
good, legitimate prospect, and you do that by asking questions. Like if
you're buying a car, you want to know what their finances are, what
their credit’s like, and their ability to make a car payment or pay cash
if they're paying cash. In this particular case, when it comes to dating,
you’re trying to figure out if a woman is actually going to be a good
complement to your life, or she might just be totally screwed up and be
hell on wheels and make your life a living hell.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/attraction-successfully-
setting-dates/14605

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Being Chased Prevents Rejection

“Feminine energy is all about bonding, connecting, creating, love,

receiving, etc. Masculine energy is about purpose, drive, mission,
succeeding, accomplishing, being decisive, being direct, breaking
through barriers, etc. It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted
to men whose feelings are unclear. It’s always best and most women
prefer to do most of the chasing since this is more aligned with their
core feminine essence. When men do more than 20-30% of the calling,
texting and pursuing, their women tend to not feel deep, passionate
love, sexual attraction or want to be exclusive with them, because the
sexual polarity is too close to neutral. When a man tends to do 70-80%
of the chasing, he gets blown off, rejected, friend-zoned or ignored. It
is the man’s job to initiate the courtship and set dates, but the woman’s
choice to decide if she wants a relationship with him. It’s always better
if the man focuses on hanging out, having fun and hooking up and
leaving the relationship labels to women to decide when and if they are
emotionally ready.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

When I do phone sessions with guys, I see this a lot. One of the things
I'm always digging and asking about, because it definitely changes over
the course of their courtship, is who's calling who first. What percentage
is he reaching out first, and what percentage is she reaching out first?
And even though I'm, oftentimes, talking to a guy that’s read my book
several times, I hear the same thing over and over again: they’re

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pursuing 50-60% of the time, and then they’re surprised that she's
telling him that there's no chemistry, there’s no spark, she's confused,
she's not ready for a relationship, she needs some space, she needs to
find herself, she needs to get her life in order. What's happening is the
guy is smothering her; he's giving off a needy vibe that he doesn't feel
good unless he is with her. This man is acting feminine because he's
unsure of himself, and because he is not acting like a strong man and
acting more like he needs her, instead of just acting like he wants her,
she's repulsed and she backs away.

It's kind of like the salsa dance if you've ever watched it. It's a beautiful
thing to watch two salsa dancers because they come close together, they
almost embrace all the way, and then they move apart. Then they move
closer together again, their embrace might get more intense, more
naughty, she wraps her legs around him, and then they move apart. This
is a great metaphor for the mating dance—the man being okay without
being attached to it either way. He loves having her there, but if she
runs away like a kitty cat that's gotten bored, he's cool with her being
away from him. And as soon as she recognizes that he's not running
after her, she moves closer to him. It's more of an art than a science.
And my book How To Be A 3% Man details this process out because
the fundamentals are the fundamentals.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/being-chased-prevents-
rejection/14714

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Turning A Friend Into A Lover

“Attraction is handled by nature. It is not a conscious choice. We do not

choose whom we feel attracted to. Some we are more attracted to than
others, and some are more attracted to us than others. It is also possible
to go from low attraction to higher attraction over time if there is a
minimum level of initial attraction. Scarcity creates value. Abundance
lowers and levels it out. Human beings naturally value what is scarce.
When your time is scarce and you have an abundance of options, you
get the best choices and negotiating position. Become a person of value
whom people want to be around, and eventually you will have an
abundance of romantic, business and career choices, as well as
friendship choices.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

What's interesting is, if you look at a scarce commodity such as

diamonds. There's obviously lots of diamonds in the, but there is always
a scarce supply of refined cut diamonds coming out, just like there is a
scarce supply of gold, or silver, or paper money, or digital money. At
the end of the day, the scarcity is what makes that resource valuable to
other people. Think about it from this perspective, when you get junk
mail, what happens? It's junk, you end up throwing it in the garbage.
Why? Because you always get so much of it. Your mailbox fills up
today with a bunch of junk, and you throw it in the garbage. Why?
Because tomorrow, it's also going to be full of a bunch of junk that
you're not interested in, so you have no value for that material.

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And so, you want to think of yourself from that perspective: “How can
I create the conditions to where I'm a valuable resource, where I can
create the social proof that lots of women want to date me, lots of people
want to hang out with me, lots of people want to do business with me,
lots of people want to buy my product?” You look at something from,
like, the 1980s—the Cabbage Patch dolls, for example. For those of you
that don't know, there was this doll that came out, it had, like, yarn for
hair, and it really wasn't that big a deal, but it came out right around the
Christmas holidays, and everybody just had to have the Cabbage Patch
Kids. And so, when the different department stores would get these
things in, it would be in the news, it would be in the media, “Hey, we’re
getting a pallet of these next week.” And they didn't get thousands and
thousands of these things. They got a handful of them, maybe 100, and
when you have thousands and thousands of customers that are vying for
those Cabbage Patch dolls, obviously, everybody wanted one. People
would wait in line; they’d stay out all night because they wanted to get
the perfect gift for their kid. But the following year and the years after
that there were tons of Cabbage Patch dolls out there, and they just
didn't sell that many.

It's the same thing, like right now, presently, the Tesla stock has
announced a 5-for-1 split in a few weeks. And so, what's happening?
That stock price is going through the roof in anticipation of the split.
And so, even though Elon Musk, the CEO of the company, is saying
the stock is way overvalued and we’re doing the split because we want
to lower the stock price, so more people have the ability to buy it at a
cheaper price. Even though there will be more shares out there, the

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demand is really high for this scarce amount of stock. And so, by doing
the split, he creates the conditions where other people will be able to
afford it. And so, that has created the perception, because the media is
constantly pumping it and the price is going through the roof. Like, just
yesterday alone, at the time of this recording, the stock was up like
$186, and right now, it's right or under $1,900 a share, even though just
a few days ago, before they announced the split, it was at $1,400 a share.
Now, has the stock become that valuable in the last few days? No, the
scarcity created the value.

And so, how can you apply that mindset to your life? Well, if you look
at it from a social media perspective, let's take a social media site like
Instagram or Facebook, for that matter. If you're having a great life and
a lot of fun and you're trying to create a perception that you’re a popular
guy and lots of girls like you, take pictures with lots of people having
fun and lots of pretty girls being around you. Even if all the pretty girls,
half of them are your sisters and your cousins or your friends’ wives.
Women that don't know you or know very little about you are going see
all these pictures with you with other women and just assume that you're
probably sleeping with all of them. The reality is, when women see that
lots of women, other women, want to date a particular guy, they find
him more attractive, they become more aggressive, because to them,
that is a display of dominance. The most desirable men have lots of
women that want to date them, and, therefore, these guys are selective.
And, therefore, the women are trying extra hard to get the guy’s
attention.

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If you're trying to re-attract somebody that blew you off and you're
having a great life, and you just kind of walked away from it because
she tried to put you in friend-zone, but yet she's following you on social
media and you haven't reached out, because you've gone no contact
with her, because she didn't want to date you, she hasn't heard from you
and she sees you having a blast on social media, she’ll go from not
really caring to thinking, “Oh, maybe I was wrong about this guy.
Maybe I need to make an extra effort to get him. Maybe he really is a
desirable guy.” And these are the kinds of things that causes her to reach
back out to you. Because you don't have to say anything, all you have
to do is put the pictures out there.

Being around other beautiful women, when women see you with other
beautiful women, that gives you social proof. That causes them to
perceive you as one of the most desirable men. It’s just like when you're
trying to get a job and you’re speaking to multiple potential employers,
and an employer makes you an offer, and he’s expecting you just to take
the job and say, “Yes, I'll take the job.” You tell him what you want and
you say, “Well, I’ve got a couple of other companies that I'm waiting
to hear back from, because they also said they wanted to make me an
offer, and they were going to get back to me today, tomorrow, whatever
it happens to be, so I'll let you know”—most employers are not used to
that.

And what that does, again, scarcity creates value, so that causes them
to perceive you as being a more valuable commodity, just like that high
priced free agent in sports is. They know, because their agents pump
the media and tell them about all these other teams that want to sign

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them, and potentially all the big contracts and the money they’re getting
offered, that will cause other people to become afraid of losing that
agent, and they end up paying more. Oftentimes, you’ll see people, they
overpay for them. And when they overpay for these guys, and they sign
these big multi-year contracts, and then they don't play as hard as they
did during their rookie contracts. If you create that kind of scarce
mentality about you, whether it's personal or professional, other people
are going to try harder and offer you more to get you just out of the fear
that they may lose you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/turning-a-friend-into-
a-lover/23601

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Dating Is Like Tennis

“Beautiful women have the most options and choices with men but are
often the most lonely and sexually frustrated women. Why? Most men
simply cannot handle being around a beautiful, sexy, smart, successful
woman who has her shit together, without coming totally unglued,
putting her on a pedestal, kissing her ass, acting like a wussy, treating
her like a celebrity and turning her off. Every beautiful woman who is
single and looking, is dying to meet a guy who is comfortable in his
own skin, comfortable being himself, does not take himself too
seriously, knows how to properly court and seduce a woman, will not
let anyone walk all over him and simply treats her like a regular person.
Guys who can do this, have their choice with women, have women
constantly throwing themselves at them and always get what they want.
Hence the common expression that most single and searching women
utter, All the good guys are either taken or gay.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, a good analogy I talk to guys about when I do phone sessions, or

I've discussed over and over in my videos is, dating is kind of like a
game of tennis; you want to make sure that the other person makes a
mutual effort. And so, you hit the ball over the net, and then you’ve got
to wait for her to hit back over. That's why, if you call and you leave
her a message or you text her and leave a message, you’ve got to wait
for her to get back to you. And what a lot of guys do is they turn the
automatic ball machine on, and they start shooting balls over the net

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trying to get her to respond. In other words, they send multiple texts,
they make multiple phone calls in a short period of time, and all they
end up doing is displaying neediness, and weakness, and undesirability.
And, if you're dealing with a really attractive, beautiful woman, she’s
seen this pattern over and over and over—and how it ends.

And, typically, guys who behave this way, they usually don't go away
peacefully, because they don't know any better. And some of them take
it personally, like, “You think you're better than me? Why are you
rejecting me?” and they don't go away. And so, when women start to
sense that the guy’s pursuing too much, calling too much, texting too
much, and sending multiple messages, that is the kind of behavior of
the guys that become annoying, a pain in the ass, become stalkers, the
violent boyfriends, and so women avoid them like the plague, because
the average woman has encountered so many needy and insecure guys
in her life. All you have to do, especially in the beginning, is display
that behavior once or twice, and you give her that same vibe as that
weird, creepy, stalkerish kind of guy does, and then she's going to
bounce right out of your life.

And so, that's why dating is like a game of tennis. You hit the ball over
the net, and then you’ve got to wait for her to hit it back. You don't run
around to the other side of the net and then hit the ball back to
yourself—which is metaphorically kind of what a lot of guys do that
don't know any better.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-is-like-
tennis/17304

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Attraction Triggers & Turn-Offs

“An understanding of masculine and feminine energy is essential to

creating and maintaining attraction during dating and extending into
relationships. Masculine energy tends to be more purpose, mission,
goal, strength, leadership, decisiveness and accomplishment focused.
Feminine energy tends to be more focused on connecting, bonding,
relationships, commitments, receiving, uncertainty, submissiveness,
feelings and following. When either a man or woman acts in ways that
are not consistent with their natural essence, it tends to lessen sexual
attraction and repel members of the opposite sex.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

You see this a lot in modern dating and relationships where, especially
when the guy starts acting more feminine, and more submissive, and
more compliant, more afraid to stand up for himself, speak his truth,
live his life the way he wants, and become a people pleaser, that he
actually acts more feminine. So, in other words, he's more in his
feminine energy. And a feminine woman is attracted to a masculine
man—it's the opposites that create the sexual polarity.

And this also applies in gay and lesbian types of relationships. Because
I sometimes do phone sessions with lesbians and gay people, and one
of the first things I always ask them when I’m doing phone sessions
with them is do they feel more masculine or more feminine? Because

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there's always somebody in all relationships that's more masculine and
more feminine, because that's what creates the sexual polarity. And so,
when I'm doing a phone session with a lesbian and she tells me she's
more masculine or feels more masculine, I get her to display more of
the behaviors that a heterosexual man would display. Just like in
heterosexual relationships, in lesbian relationships, the more masculine
one—who is usually the one I'm doing the phone session with—when
she starts acting more masculine and displaying more leadership type
of characteristics, they go from not having any sex to being just like
they were in the beginning—like, I mean, literally instantly.

And so, it's really important, especially with typical male-female type
relationships, is that the man has got to act consistently masculine,
because when the man is not acting masculine, he forces the woman to
move into her masculine, which is not her natural essence, and she's
going to resent it. And this is oftentimes what leads to her being bitchy,
and grumpy and not a happy camper. And so, when I get the guy to start
displaying more leadership qualities—just simple things like setting
dates and inviting her to join them, making the dinner reservations,
taking care of the babysitter if they've got kids—I see this a lot when I
do phone sessions with a guy. It’s like, “Yeah, we’ve been in marriage
and couples counseling for several months,” and yet the wife still won't
have sex with him. And as soon as he starts displaying masculine
leadership energy again, his wife gets turned on and re-attracted to him,
and the sex comes back. Whereas the therapist is basically been begging
the wife to have sex with the husband again. And it really boils down
to sexual polarity and sexual attraction.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/attraction-triggers-turn-
offs/14583

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Friends With Benefits

“Exclusive relationships usually start out with a strong physical,

mental, spiritual and emotional connection. Two people who are
physically attracted to one another start hanging out together and having
fun. The sexual attraction starts to grow, which leads to physical, sexual
intimacy. The emotional and mental connection develops SLOWLY
OVER TIME as a deepening friendship that goes hand and hand with
physical intimacy. Usually after about two months of hanging out,
having fun and hooking up without attachments or commitments, both
people are seeing one another so much that love has started to blossom
between them. The exclusive commitment is a feminine quality, comes
naturally WITH TIME and is best left to the woman to bring up when
she feels so safe, comfortable and in love that she does not want to see
anyone else and wants to be exclusive.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

A big mistake most guys make when they start meeting and dating a
woman, especially one that they really like, is they’re already thinking
from the end; they’re thinking marriage, they’re thinking commitment,
“I want her to be my new girlfriend,” and they start behaving in that
way. And what guys have to understand is women fall in love slowly
over time. They want to be in a love story, it’s part of the courtship that
evolves over several months. And the average guy has seen too many
movies where the guy does all of these crazy things to get the woman's

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attention, and then she instantly falls in love and they live happily ever
after.

You go to try to repeat that in the real world, you'll be lucky if you get
one, two, maybe three dates out of it before she says, “I'm confused. I'm
not sure where I'm able to be at this point in my life. I'm not ready for
a relationship yet. There's no spark, there’s chemistry that's just not
there. You're a great guy, but...” And what's happening is, the guy is
trying to push her across the finish line. That quote that I have often
mentioned from Thich Nhat Hanh, which is, “You must love in such a
way that the person you love feels free,” illustrates what the problem is
with the average guy. They smother the woman, and they cause her to
no longer feel free to be with her feelings, for them to slowly develop
over time. She starts to feel smothered.

In other words, the guy is at a place emotionally that the woman is not
at yet, and that's why I teach guys to focus on the simple three H’s:
hanging out, having fun, and hooking up. Creating the next opportunity
for sex to happen, that is what a man's role is in the courtship is. Because
if you think about it, how do us guys usually think? “Wow, she's hot,
I'd like to fuck the hell out of her. I'd like to sleep with her.” That's what
a guy’s thinking right away. And so, if a guy focuses on the courtship,
in creating a great romantic opportunity for sex to happen, and then just
strictly continue to focus on that and let it slowly develop over time,
then as the woman's feelings grow, she's going to call more, she's going
to text more, she's going to reach out more, she's going to pursue more,
and move things towards a relationship. Because everything about a

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woman is designed to get a man's attention, and so, therefore, you have
to give women the time and space to want to seek out and gain your
attention and validation, instead of trying to force them to do that right
away. Because if you do, all you’re going to end up doing is chasing a
great dating prospect right out of your life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/friends-with-
benefits/14650

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Attraction: Success Vs. Failure

“In any relationship you should always be aware of how much or how
little the other person is contributing to the overall well-being of your
relationship. Many times, in our effort to be loved and accepted, our
fears can cause us to put up with or tolerate things that violate our self
or our dignity, because we are projecting our feelings or desires onto
the other person and assuming they feel the same way. It’s always better
to pay attention to what others do instead of what they say. Actions
always speak louder than words.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Many guys do this with women that they’re dating. Because they’re so
desperate for approval and love, they start to allow themselves to get
treated like a doormat. And women always bluff to test a guy’s strength.
When they sense weakness, when they sense that they're able to
intimidate a guy, or mess with them, or feign displeasure or as if they're
not that into it, the guys start backing up and apologizing for
themselves, and starts putting up with little instances of disrespect.

And when a woman disrespects you and you allow her to get away with
it without checking her or calling her out in a loving but respectful way,
she starts to notice that you don't have the guts or the courage to stand
up for yourself. And this is going to cause a woman to not trust your
masculine core. Because, if you won't stand up for yourself to her when
she's tweaking your balls or her behavior is inappropriate, if she were

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ever in any real physical danger, on some level, she's going to fear that
you're just going to bolt and leave her to fend for herself. And if a
woman doesn't trust your masculine core, she's going to lose attraction
for you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/attraction-success-vs-
failure/14018

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Things Are Moving Too Fast

“Relationships typically form after two or more months of dating. They

form when both people have so much fun hanging out and hooking up
with each other, that they don’t want anyone else. Women fall in love
slowly over time. For men, if she’s hot and got a great body, they’re
already thinking about marriage, where they will live and what their
kids will look like; this is all before he has even said hello to her. Most
men mistakenly assume that women automatically feel the same way
or that they can talk women into feeling the same way by telling women
how much they like or love them. This actually makes women feel like
they are being smothered, that things are moving too fast, like they are
losing their freedom and often leads to women saying they are confused
and unsure. To prevent this, men simply need to focus on planning fun
dates and let women bring up the relationship labels when they are
emotionally ready.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You’ve got to focus, when you're dating a woman or you just start
dating her, focus on being more objective and selective. A man who’s
got lots of choices and lots of options has got to figure out which woman
is the right woman for him, (if any of them are the right woman for
him). If you don’t have anything else going on in your personal life and
you really, kind of like a girl, but she's not everything that you want, it's
like you put all your energy and your effort into her, and you start acting
in a way or treating her in a way like she's already your girlfriend and

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you're already in a relationship with her, which from the woman's
perspective, she doesn't know you well enough to make those kinds of
decisions or even feel that way about you yet.

I use the analogy quite often that it's kind of like baking a cake. You
have to put the cake in the oven and let it bake; you don't open the oven
door every couple of minutes and say, “Is it done yet?” Because every
time you do, you let the heat out, you deflate the sexual attraction, and
if you do it enough, the cake will be completely ruined and then you'll
have to start all over. And if you do that in your dating life—if you’re
constantly seeking her attention and validation and trying to find out
where you stand—eventually, you’re going to be out of her life, and
she's not going to want anything to do with you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/things-are-moving-too-
fast/20319

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Attraction Doesn’t Guarantee Chemistry

“Chemistry happens as a byproduct of mutual physical attraction,

similar goals and values, similar interests, enthusiasm for one another
and both people being ready, willing and able to explore being together
without holding back. In order for chemistry to grow, things must
progress naturally and effortlessly. If interaction between one another
happens in fits and starts, then doubt, fear, holding back and challenges
will quickly dissipate chemistry and attraction. A truly great
relationship starts out with ease and effortlessness and only gets better
with time. When things go sideways or don’t work out, don’t take it
personally. Understand that learning to be yourself, accepting yourself
and loving without conditions or attachments, is a process that is
perfected through time and repetition. See every person who comes into
your life as a gift and part of an unlimited supply of teachers who are
divinely sent to help you perfect yourself.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is especially true if you’re single and trying to perfect your pick-
up, dating and relationship skills. You've got to look at other people
coming along like prospects that are divinely set right on time to help
you smooth out your rough edges, so to speak, to help you overcome
any fears, flaws, doubts, and insecurities that you have about yourself.

If you’ve got a blind spot, a weakness, somebody typically will show

up in your life to exploit that. Whether it's in business, and you hire

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somebody, and they end up stealing from you, or a woman you start
dating because you're too trusting of a person, and then she cheats on
you or you catch her lying to you, or being devious, or taking you for
granted, or somebody that uses you and doesn't really give back. It's
over time, in your interactions with them, that you start to see these
flaws, and these irritations and the friction that it causes in your life.
And as you grow, and you become stronger, and you start to set healthy
boundaries and hold other people accountable to them, you start to
recognize that not everybody is going to be able to stick around. It's just
part of the process.

It's the same thing with jobs. Your very first job right out of high school,
or maybe you're in high school, typically for most people, is not going
to be the job that you have forever. It's a stepping stone, it's a means to
an end, it’s to help you learn customer skills, people skills, business
skills, basic sales and things of that nature, and what you learn there,
you take with you to the next job. Each job you have, each career, each
business, prepares you for the next one down the road.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/attraction-doesnt-
guarantee-chemistry/14610

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Why Don’t I Hear From You?

“As a woman’s attraction for you grows, her natural instinctive

feminine energy will compel her to seek more of your time, attention,
affection and presence. She starts to feel closer to you emotionally and
physically, and therefore wants more of you. In order to properly bond
with her, cause her to trust you and continue to feel safe and
comfortable with you, reciprocation and effort are necessary. If a man
acts like a cold, emotionless, uncaring zombie, she will start to back
away and become unsure of her feelings and him. A good rule of thumb
for men to follow is the 80/20 rule. A man’s initiated contact should not
exceed 20%, or this will have a negative effect on her attraction and
desire for him. Men should treasure, adore and be grateful for every
contact their women initiate to them, and communicate and reciprocate
their gratitude and happiness for their women’s attention. It is a gift
NEVER to be taken for granted, but to be cherished and celebrated.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

So, as the quote states, what happens over time, as the guy starts dating
and courting women, like I talk about in my first book, How To Be A
3% Man, the ideal pace is really just one date per week. That's all the
guy really is going to set out to do in the beginning phases of a
courtship. So, when a guy does that versus the average guy, which tries
to have two or three dates a week with somebody he just met and
therefore rushes the process, when you just date once per week, you

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have a great date. Typically, by the second or third date, the average
woman is going to sleep with you. And then after that, what's happening
basically is you’re really not moving that fast. And as her emotions
become engaged and she starts to feel more attraction for you, she's
going to want to move things quicker.

That's why it's always better for the guy to be moving the courtship a
little slower, or slightly slower, than the woman is, because as her
emotions take off and she starts to feel something for you, it's because
of that time and space. If you just had a great weekend together or date
together, and then now she hasn't heard from you for several days—
because you’re only going to get in touch once a week, because you’re
a busy professional and you’ve got other things going on in your life,
and at the end of the day, she’s still on probation as well —she's usually
going to text or call and say something along the lines of, “Hey, I had a
good time the other night,” or “Hey, I was thinking about you.” “Hey,
I was watching a movie, and the character in the movie reminded me of
you,” or “I was out with girlfriends the other night, or last night, and
somebody was wearing that same shirt that you were wearing or those
same shoes, and it reminded me of you,” or “Hey, I was thinking about
you, wanted to see what you're doing.”

What happens is you get into the second or third week of dating and
courtship, and she doesn't want to wait for your once-a-week message
to reach out to her. So, what happens is, she’ll start coming up with
reasons and excuses to contact you, because now she's a little bit unsure
of herself and where she stands. And so, therefore, you just simply use
her reaching out to you as an indication that she misses you and wants

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to see you, and she's now a little ready to move the courtship along at a
slightly faster pace. And by letting her do that, you get into the third or
fourth week of dating and typically she's texting you or calling you two
to three times a week at that point, and then you don't really have to
reach out first anymore, because she's already reaching out to you.

And then, you're totally moving the courtship along at her pace, and
therefore, you never have to worry about smothering her or doing too
much, too soon. But the key is, when she does reach out, is to not just
kind of ignore it, but to understand that it's a cue that she's missing you
and she's ready to see you. So, you make a date. And then you get
together, you hang out, you have fun, and you hook up.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-dont-i-hear-from-
you/17210

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Alcohol: Liquid Courage Or Attraction Killer?

“If you are going to drink alcohol to lower your inhibitions and feelings
of awkwardness so you feel more comfortable around other people,
there is a fine line between having a nice buzz and being the life of the
party and getting black out drunk and making a fool of yourself. When
it comes to pick-up and attraction skills for men and overcoming their
approach anxiety, in the long run they will do much better and build
their confidence if they only talk to women when they are sober.
Synchronicity, serendipity, fate and love at first sight always seem to
happen when you least expect it. Therefore, if you’re a guy who’s trying
to improve your social and pickup skills with women, do it sober.
You’ll become more successful, happier, confident and skilled than
trying to force things by going out to get drunk and then trying to talk
to women.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I’ve done many phone sessions over the years with guys that, whether
it was their girlfriend or a woman that they just started dating, they got
a little too comfortable and drank a little too much and ended up saying
or doing things when they're on a date or spending time with these
women or causing a scene and getting blackout drunk and not
remembering what they did or what they said, and then they never hear
from these women again. Or they’re hanging out with their friends and
they get too drunk, and because they're all emotionally wrapped up in
how they feel about this new dating prospect, this new girl that they just

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met, they start talking and texting to her and, and oftentimes, don't even
remember reaching out and communicating with her.

And so, if you're the type of person that likes to party and have a good
time, but you often overdo it, if you're dating someone new or you're
on a date with someone new, you've got to exercise self-control.
Because if you don't, you're oftentimes going to say things or do things
that are going to make you look really unattractive and say things that
you regret. And, especially if you just started dating her, there's not a
lot of mistakes that you can make before she forms a permanent opinion
of you and you completely ruin your chances with her. It's always better
to focus on meeting and dating women when you're completely sober
and being the real authentic you and taking the time and doing the work
to overcome your fears when you're sober instead of intoxicated.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/alcohol-liquid-
courage-or-attraction-killer/22656

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The Second Date

“As Adam Carolla once said, “When a woman likes you, the doors start
opening and all you have to do is walk through them. If the doors start
closing in your face, then you walk away.” When a man starts dating
and courting a woman, he should ask her out only once per week.
Usually by the second or third date, if he has handled himself well on
their prior dates, she will start contacting him or even asking him out.
From that point forward, seeing each other more than once per week
will be her idea since she reached out to him. If men follow this simple
principle, they will never have to worry about pursuing too much,
coming off as needy or desperate or being rejected.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

We’ve seen too many movies over the courses of our lives that show
that the guy must pursue and pursue, do ridiculous grand-gesture dates,
and go out of his way to jump through his butt to win a woman's
approval and validation. The reality is attraction's not a choice; women
either like you or they don't. And if you handle yourself properly on a
date and she already likes you to start with, her attraction is actually
going to grow and increase for you over time. This will cause her to
move towards you instead of away from you when you chase and
pursue too much. You have to let women come to you at their pace.
Otherwise, you’ll chase them right out of your life for good.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-second-date/19599

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Re-Attraction Using The No Contact Rule

“If you value yourself and what you bring to your relationships, you
won’t allow people to mistreat you or take you for granted. You’ll only
invest your time and energy into people who show they care through
their actions by reciprocating interest. Only give your attention and
energy to people who value and appreciate it and remove your attention
from those who don’t. Those who care will notice your absence and
increase their efforts to make you feel wanted. Those who don’t will let
you disappear forever. That will tell you everything you need to know.”
~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you're dating a new woman or you're hanging out with guys that you'd
like to become friends with, and you notice that they're taking you for
granted or not treating you properly, and you set healthy boundaries and
they continue to violate them, the quickest way to get their attention is
to remove yours. Because too many guys spend too much time trying
to spend time with women that aren't really that interested in them and
hanging out with guys that they don't really click or jive with, because
they’re just desperate to have or make new friends.

It's important to notice how other people are treating you, because this
is what you allow and you tolerate in your life. And when you allow
people who take you for granted and who mistreat you to continue to
be in your life, you're actually enabling their behavior, and this causes
you to invite and tolerate even more people that take you for granted.

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This can have a very negative effect on your self-esteem, because
basically, if you're surrounded by assholes and people that take you for
granted, eventually, you're going to start to feel that and feel that you're
not good enough, and this is going to have a negative effect on your
self-esteem. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because
you're continually spending your time with people that just don't value
you.

If people don't value you or see your actual value, the best thing to do
is keep on moving. And those that actually do care, they’ll start to miss
you and they’ll make more of an effort. Relationships are a two-way
street, and everybody needs to make a mutual effort to stay in your life;
that includes friends, family, as well as your lovers.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/re-attraction-using-the-
no-contact-rule/38653

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Clueless Horny Guy

“A woman likes it when a man takes his time to seduce her. She
appreciates the fact that he takes his time, because it communicates how
into her and intoxicated with her he is. He takes his time because he is
savoring every moment and every inch of her delicious body. He
physically desires her and also who she is as a woman. A woman who
is as magnificent on the inside as she is on the outside. He sees beauty
even in her flaws, faults and insecurities; loving her as she is without
trying to change her. A man’s total unconditional love and acceptance
is what will cause his woman to feel safest to be herself, including her
mushy emotional and vulnerable self. Vulnerability is power in women.
If she’s being vulnerable with you, it’s a compliment to your strength
and masculinity as a man.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

In order to get a woman turned on, you have to take your time, you have
to not be in a rush. It's almost like you're going a little bit slower than
the woman wants to go, which is usually five to ten times slower than
most guys try to go in order to get what they want. The reality is, most
guys are in too much of a rush to make a relationship happen, to make
a date happen, to get in the bedroom, to get her panties off. You’ve got
to take your time, because what this does is it helps the woman crave
more intimacy faster than you’re actually giving it to her.

An analogy I've used oftentimes in many videos over the years is you’ve
got to think of sexual anticipation building in women much like you

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bake a cake in the oven; whereas you put a cake in the oven, and you’ve
got to give it time for the dough and the yeast to cause the cake to rise.
Now, if you keep opening the oven door every few minutes to check on
it and see if the cake is done, you let all the heat out of the oven and
cold air into the oven, which causes the cake to contract and can actually
ruin it. And that's typically what a lot of guys do, is “Is she ready yet?
Is she done yet? Is she ready to be my girlfriend yet? Is she ready to
have sex with me yet? Is she ready to be in a relationship yet? Is she
ready to be my wife? Is she ready to have kids? Is she ready to move in
with me?”

Again, if you slow things down, because if you follow the process in
my book, How To Be A 3% Man, you know that typically as you date
women and you follow that sequence that it usually takes about six to
seven weeks before the woman is in love and then asks you to be her
boyfriend.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/clueless-horny-
guy/14725

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Long Distance Romance

“Long distance relationships can be very tricky to maintain attraction

when you can’t see each other in person very often. With video Skype,
you can talk to and see the other person along with their facial
expressions almost as if they were physically with you in person.
However, the risk you run is to talk too much electronically to the point
that you get bored with one another. Once you are bored, there is less
of a desire to see each other physically in person. The key is to give
women the time and space to miss you, fantasize about you and let them
do 70-80% of the initiating contact. Women are more attracted to men
whose feelings are unclear, and if you let them reach out to you most of
the time, then you never have to worry about contacting them too much
to the point that they lose interest. Just like in show business, you
always want to leave them wanting more. If you can’t make dates to see
each other in person, you can make Skype video dates you both can
look forward to. Having something to look forward to builds
anticipation.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I see quite a bit of this in my phone sessions with guys. I just had one,
actually, last week with a guy that was living in California and was
dating a woman from Northern Europe. He tends to like these kinds of
women and finds them more interesting and attractive than American
women, and plus, he’s also moving over to Europe to be there. And he
basically spent the better part of the last year talking with a woman in

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another country, and they only got together for a short period of time,
about a week, and met one time, but they've spent tons of time and
countless hours over the last year talking digitally but not getting
together too much in person.

And on top of that, he made the mistake of giving her a job so she could
work for him, even though they had barely spent any time together. And
then, when he was actually over in Europe, she couldn't seem to find
the time to get together to meet him. And so, what ended up happening
is, he ended up going his separate way and firing her, because then he
realized that she wasn't really into him for him, but she was using him
for the money. And so, you can imagine spending a whole year of your
life digitally talking to somebody that you barely spent a week with,
and on top of that, they had been talking for like six to eight months
before they got together in person, and she wouldn't go all the way with
him. And a big reason was that he obviously wasn't familiar with the
stuff that was in my first book, How To Be A 3% Man.

But you can imagine, you spend a whole year investing in somebody
that never really makes the effort to meet you, you're going to kind of
feel like a chump. And so, the reality is, if you're going to date people
long-distance, whether it's in another part of the country, or another part
of the state you live in, or another part of the world, unless they're
willing to get together within the first 30-60 days of talking and meeting
digitally—whether it's over Skype video chat, or over FaceTime, or
some other kind of video chatting service—you're just simply wasting
your time. Because if they really like you, and they really care about

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you, and they really want to see if it's going work, they’ll get together
with you in person. And if they don't, they’ll make excuses.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/long-distance-
romance/14832

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 Passion & Purpose

Passion, Purpose, And Perseverance

“Everyone needs a purpose in life. Something that is emotionally

compelling and exciting to them to strive for. Without a passion for a
purpose, you’re just another meat-sack aimlessly wandering through
life. A ship without a rudder. We are all divinely guided and capable
creators. We are here to enjoy the gift of life and to create our grandest
goals, dreams and to reach our full potential. It serves no one to live a
life that is less than what you are capable of living. Dream great dreams
that inspire and motivate you to become more than you are today. Your
time on this planet is limited and you must spend the moments of your
life doing something. Doesn’t it make sense to go for what really excites
you, instead of what makes you miserable?” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Most people tend to play it small in life; they don't step too far outside
of their comfort zone so they can grow and learn. They try to live inside
their little boxes that they and their peer group, or society, has created
for them. But that's really where the juice of life is. It’s stretching
beyond your comfort zone, trying to see what you're truly capable of.
Because when they've done studies and interviews with people that are
near the end of their life, almost universally, the top few things they say
is that they wish they would’ve stayed in touch with their friends, they
wish they would've taken more risks, they wish they would've gone for

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more of their goals and dreams. Because at the end of the day, they’re
at the end of their lives; they have no more time left.

The reality is, time is going to pass, whether you fucking waste it or
you're moving towards the things that you want. It's going to pass, no
matter what. And you might as well spend it every day trying to get
better and trying to do more things that are fun, that are exciting, that
are compelling, that are interesting to you. Because, if you're happier,
and when they also look at longevity studies of people that live a long
life, what they find, a common theme is, they have good, solid
relationships with their friends and the people who are in an intimate
relationship with them as well. People who tend to live a shorter life
tend to have not very good relationships and not good partners.
Laughter, happiness, feeling good is the best medicine to help you live
a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/passion-purpose-
perseverance/16840

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Discovering What Really Drives You

“Discovering your driving force and what really drives you to do what
you do in life is the essential first step you must complete successfully
before choosing any career path to pursue or business to create. Why?
If you choose incorrectly, your goals, values and heart will not be
aligned with how you have chosen to spend your life pursuing a mission
and purpose that is emotionally compelling to you. Without your heart
and emotions being engaged fully and completely, you’ll never do what
it takes to become really great at your mission and purpose. Therefore,
you’ll never reach your full potential and become all that you are
capable of becoming. Massive wealth comes from solving really big
problems that you are passionate about solving. If you discover your
driving force and align your mission and purpose with that, you’ll be
willing to pay the price and do what’s necessary to succeed at the
highest level. That is truly a life worth living and loving.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

I was fortunate in that when I was 18 years old, I sat down with my
mother and I was looking through all of the different subjects that I
could major in for college, and the thing that I always enjoyed and that
my mother, which I'm grateful for, looking back on it, was able to
recognize is that I was really good at doing things with my hands. I was
always mechanically inclined; I was good at taking things apart and
fixing things. And what's interesting is, I remember being a little kid, I
used to tear all kinds of shit apart to see how it worked and often broke

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it in the process, but I learned about speakers, and wiring, and
electronics, and motors, and circuit boards, and all of these different
things.

And I was into construction, my grandfather was a carpenter, we built

treehouses. I remember a lot of the kids in the neighborhood, we
actually dug a bunch of underground tunnels, and we had a fort
underground, and we just did all of these really cool things when we
were kids. I just loved building and making things, making things for
my birds—I used to breed cockatiels when I was a kid. I was into
saltwater fish tanks, I had all of these diverse interests, and I just loved
making and building things. And so, it was just a natural thing to me. I
always kind of had a vision: I would look at something that was run
down—whether it was an old beat-up car that could be fixed up and
look like new, or a house that could be all run down—and I could see
what it could look like when it was all fixed up.

One of my neighbors that lived down the street actually bought the
house across the street from us after the old lady that had lived there
passed away, and the house is pretty run down and it had never been
renovated since it was built in the early 1950s. And he made this ugly
old house look beautiful and new, and he did pretty much almost all of
the work, because he was in the construction industry, over several
months, and I was just fascinated with the process. My grandfather had
pretty much every tool you can imagine. He was an excellent,
exceptional carpenter, and I would go over and hang out with him, and
he built this shed all by himself, he did a lot of additions and renovations

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and different things to his house, and it just kind of, it appealed to me,
I got hooked on that.

And so, when I was 18 and trying to figure out what I can major in,
looking at all the different subjects, my dream, eventually, was that I’d
love to buy and sell houses. I’d love to fix up houses and sell them to
make a profit, because I had watched one of my neighbors do it, my
family had renovated the house that we lived in, they had a coin laundry
that they had renovated and expanded, a self-service area, and it was
just really neat to see that. And so, because I was already passionate
about it and predisposed to it and I really enjoyed it, when I was going
through different subjects and found construction management, it lit me
up on the inside. I thought, “Man, once I get this degree and I work in
the construction industry and I learn how to build, it’ll be amazing to
be able to buy and sell houses for a profit.”

And so, all those times when I didn't feel like doing my homework or
going to class, or when it felt like it was just never going to end, and I
was never going to finish my degree. Especially when I had setbacks in
college, because I'd taken so long to get into my upper-level college
that, once I was three years in, they changed the curriculum. And so, I
had a bunch of classes that I had taken, but since they changed the
curriculum, those classes no longer applied. And on top of that, they
had added a bunch of new classes, and that added like another year and
a half to the time it was going take to get my degree. And at the time, it
was pretty demoralizing, but I had done it to myself because I was lazy,

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and I was taking semesters off and dropping classes here and there. But
I continued to move forward, I continued to grind it out.

Like Ray Lewis, the retired NFL player, one of the things he said is:
“Grinding is my rest.” And that's what I was always doing, I was always
grinding, I was always taking action, I was always working, I was
always moving forward. I loved to work, I loved to make money. That's
why I had no problem working a lot of hours and going to school at the
same time. I just believed that eventually, someday, all of that hard
work and learning was going to pay off. And if you read my second
book, Mastering Yourself, you can see how that philosophy, and that
drive, and that grind has paid off multiple times in my life. And it's a
great pattern that you can use to follow, because it works. I've been
using this philosophy and these fundamentals of the science of high
achievement for decades.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/discovering-what-
really-drives-you/16500

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Success Is Making Progress

“Being successful and happy is a direct result of making progress

towards achieving your goals and dreams and creating the life and
lifestyle you’ve always wanted. Most people mistakenly assume that
they will only be happy once they achieve their goals and dreams and
acquire the material things they desire. Most big goals and dreams often
take a decade or more of your life to achieve. However, we live in a
society that is obsessed with instant gratification and a quick fix. Most
people give up on their grandest goals and dreams, and instead settle
for a life of mediocrity because they do not sense, see or feel like they
are making any real progress. Settling for a life that is less than what
you really want happens when you substitute mediocre goals and
dreams because they offer you more of an instant gratification and a
sense of quicker progress. However, instant gratification is fleeting and
cannot sustain or fulfill you for a lifetime like becoming all that you are
capable of becoming and reaching your full potential can. Everything
worth having and becoming in life is always going to come with more
hard work, financial expense and time than you expect. The dichotomy
is that human beings always appreciate and value that which comes
through challenge, difficulty, struggle, hardship, heartache and
disappointment, more than that which comes easily.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

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A big part, like the quote says about being happy in life, is you have to
feel like the work you're doing and the actions you are taking are giving
you real, tangible results towards the things you want. It's not that you
have to achieve it right away, but you have to see that you're making
some kind of progress. And this is where mindset really comes in, and
how you look at things and the meanings that you assign things. If
you're looking at every failure as a reason to potentially quit and give
up, eventually, that mindset is going to cause you to do exactly that.

When you look at guys that go through special forces training and they
start telling themselves that they want to quit and give up and not finish
the training and ring the bell and get out, that's typically the end for
them. Even if they don't quit right away, their mind is already working
and trying to give them excuses, because whatever you focus on
mentally is going to expand. If you're thinking about and focusing on
quitting and looking for reasons and excuses to quit and give up,
eventually, your brain is going to find enough excuses for you to quit
and give up that makes total sense with your self-perception and your
mindset.

So, you’ve got to look at, just like Thomas Edison did when he was
trying to figure out the lightbulb. He was excited about every single
failure that he had, because each failure, he looked at it as the process
of elimination. “Well, I've eliminated that material, I’ve eliminated this
one.” It's the same thing when it comes to dating; if you have a failure
or something doesn't work out, “I asked that girl out, she had a
boyfriend, she rejected me,” instead of getting down on yourself and
feeling bad about it, you say, “Well, I can cross her off my list, because

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at least now I know. I went for it, it didn't work out, but at least I'm not
walking away from that situation and regretting never even taking the
risk.” Or getting a new job, or the job you really want, or maybe don't
have a job at all—if somebody doesn't want to hire you now, maybe
they’ll be ready to hire you in a month or two. You can't look at it as
ultimate failure; you're just eliminating the undesirable prospects.

Just like in sales, not everybody is going to buy your product or service.
That's okay, you have to get through all the “Nos” in order to get to the
“Yes.” And so, if it's an ideal job, a great new best friend, a great new
woman in your life, a great new business, whatever it happens to be,
every failure is progress towards getting closer and closer to the victory
that you're seeking. It's all how you look at it and the meanings that you
assign to it.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/success-is-making-
progress/19261

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Dating, Relationships & Societal Conditioning

“Societal and religious conditioning are always pushing this unrealistic

meme that men and women need to find “The One,” settle down and
live happily ever after by having kids and a family. This relic of the
dark ages where people married as teenagers for survival, and hopefully
were lucky enough to see their kids grow up and reach adulthood before
they died in their late 20’s or early 30’s, is proving to be almost
impossible and unattainable for most people in the modern world with
an ever-increasing quality of life and longer life expectancy. Dating and
relationships are not a one size fits all solution for everyone. The pursuit
of happiness, being able to spend your life in your own way and having
a life’s work that is emotionally compelling to you is a superior
approach to life versus trying see how long you can stay in and endure
an unhappy life or relationship. Staying in it for the kids is not an
excuse. Kids need to learn how to get what they want in life, how to
have high quality relationships with high quality people for as long as
they make them happy and how to design an awesome life, instead of
earning or eking out a meager living.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

When you look at the modern age, versus how things were 30, 40, 50
years ago, back then, people were looking for the one perfect person,
and they were going to get that one job, they were going to work at that
job for several decades, and when they got to 55, 60, 65 years old, they
were going to retire, have a nice pension, get a condo down on the beach

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somewhere in the South, and sit in their rocking chair and watch the
clouds roll by. But when you look at today's age, it's very common for
people to change jobs every two to three years, whereas just a few
decades ago, if you jumped around a lot and changed jobs a lot, you
were seen as being unreliable and not very stable.

What's great about technology and modern life is that there is an

unlimited amount of choices and things you can do, experiences you
can have, and people that you can have those experiences with. You
might spend your life for ten or fifteen years working at something
you're really passionate about, and then, like I experienced and wrote
about in my second book, Mastering Yourself, around the time I was
about 35-36 years old, I realized that I no longer had the same internal
enthusiasm for being in the real estate mortgage and construction
industry. And this was shocking to me; this was hard for me to accept
that, after all of the college and schooling that I had done and all of the
years that I had spent building my businesses, that here I was at 35-36
years old and I kind of felt like I was 18 years old all over again and
trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the next chapter of my life.
I never expected that to happen, I never even imagined that that would
happen. I just assumed that that's what I would be doing exclusively for
the rest of my life.

But because I spent so many years learning to trust my intuition and

what felt right, when I recognized that I didn't have the same internal
enthusiasm and passion, and my life's work was starting to feel more
like a job than it was playing and being excited about what the future

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held for me in that particular industry, I took a step back and I asked
myself, “If I had to do it all over, would I want to do what I'm doing
today?” Kind of like what Steve Jobs talked about in the biography
Steve Jobs written by Walter Isaacson. He used to look in the mirror
every day and he used to say to himself, “If today was going to be my
last day on earth, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?” And
when the answer was “No” too many days in a row, he knew he needed
to change something.

So, when these kinds of things happen to you in life, and they invariably
will happen—whether it's in your relationships, or your friendships, or
your career, your job, the type of business that you're involved in—
you’ve got to honor that; you got to honor your intuition. You’ve got to
trust what feels right. It doesn't mean you just blow up your life and
start all over, but it does mean that you need to start looking in a new
direction and start following, and immersing yourself, and obsessing
over things that you're really curious about and you're interested in. And
just follow where the natural path leads and take action upon that.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-relationships-
societal-conditioning/20928

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Red Flags

“Success is a process. Success happens effortlessly when you are able

to capitalize upon random opportunities as life presents them, only after
you have done the work and put in the time and the repetitions necessary
to prepare for success when your opportunity comes. Unsuccessful
people tend to dabble and half-ass their way through life without any
real clear focus or goal. They are, therefore, unable to successfully
capitalize upon opportunities, as life inevitably presents them, due to
their lack of preparation and practice. You will become better at
anything you practice. If you fail to practice and prepare ahead of time,
failure is as predictable as the sun coming up in the east and setting in
the west.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The world is full of mediocre people who are too scared and too fearful
and just simply don't know the science of high achievement
fundamentals. And even if they have been exposed to them, they simply
have too much negativity, too many limiting beliefs, and too much of a
story that they tell themselves about their lack of capabilities and their
lack of ability to really do any kind of serious introspection and action-
taking to move their lives forward. So, their lives become about
avoiding things instead of moving towards the things that are exciting
and compelling.

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And when you first recognize that you want to start moving in a certain
direction towards something that's exciting and compelling, especially
if you don't have a track record of having lots of success yet, you have
to move forward and trust the process, because as you take action,
you're going to get results—good and bad results. And as you get those
good and bad results, you're able to measure what those results mean,
and then, you can modify and change and adapt your approach, and
continue moving towards the things that you want. And it's a process.

And as you take action you get results, and because you're busy taking
action, you feel good about yourself, you feel good about your life;
you’re learning things, you see your skills start to get better, you start
to develop your natural talents, your reserve of knowledge starts to
grow, you start to gain wisdom, and, over time, you get more efficient
at it. And as you get more efficient at it, you start to see results even
quicker. But it's a process. You’ve got to understand that to get from
where you are to where you want to be is at least a decade long
process—to really master something and become exceptional at it to
where most people start to notice it.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/red-flags/31393

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Doing What’s Right for You

“Alpha male or female energy is the energy of leadership, dominance,

strength, certainty, attractiveness, success, self-love, self-respect, self-
reliance and self-mastery. Beta male or female energy is the energy of
submissiveness, timidity, fearfulness, uncertainty, indecisiveness,
weakness, inequality, failure and defeat. Alphas lead, and Betas follow.
Alpha energy is about reaching your full potential, while Beta energy
is about being too fearful and weak to do what is necessary to win and
succeed. Alphas go for what they want, in spite of their fears. Betas
make excuses, play it safe and run from challenges. In life, you get to
decide who you are and what you become. Your decisions, focus,
actions and beliefs will shape and determine your destiny. What you
focus on tends to expand. Therefore, you’ll either become what you
love or become what you fear. Choose wisely.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is why women naturally are more drawn to and attracted to Alpha
males—because Alpha males are the embodiment of masculine energy;
they take risks, they go for what they want. Even though they may be
afraid and fearful, they still go towards what they want. Whereas the
Beta energy shies away from danger and risk and opportunity and tries
to go towards what's comfortable. Women love men who take risks and
go for what they want in spite of their fears.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/doing-whats-right-for-
you/25941

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I Hate My Life

“Are you broke? Do you have big dreams? Don’t know where to start
to achieve your dreams? Then start learning and developing your skills
by practicing every day to become great at something you love, enjoy
and that adds value to as many people’s lives as possible by providing
highly valuable products or services that solve a real pain or need
people commonly experience or have. Live like a broke college student
to keep your bills as low as possible. Surround yourself with hungry
people who are just as committed to succeeding and being at their best
personally as you are. Take relentless action, learn from your mistakes
and failures, and continually adapt and change your approach until
someday your dreams become a reality. Mastery of anything is only
possible through time and repetition.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, if you're not happy with where you are in life, you have to do
something about it. You've got to come up with a plan and a vision and
move towards things that you're curious about, that your intuition says
they feel good and it feels right to move in that direction. And then, you
take action towards making that happen. Successful people, this is what
they do, this is their mindset. When something is not ideal in their life,
they seek to improve it. Whereas losers and weak people make excuses
and move away from the things that they want, because they're afraid
of failure and they just simply want to feel comfortable.

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It's a natural human emotion to want to be in a peaceful and relaxed
state, but the reality is, all of the things that you want in life, you're
going to have to go through some pain and some unpleasant experiences
and do things that you really don't enjoy. Maybe you're in college and
most of the classes that you're taking, you’re scratching your head and
you’re thinking, “These classes have nothing to do with what I really
want to do.” But the reality is, if they’re part of the prerequisites for the
program or the degree that you're going for, you have to get them out
of the way.

And the way that you do that is you have an emotionally compelling
reason why you want something. And if you have something that's
really emotionally compelling that you want to achieve, accomplish, or
experience, but yet there's a lot of unpleasant things that you really don't
want to do, but it's going to take years to get through them, it's the vision
of what you're going to get to experience on the other side—that passion
that payoff, that dream car, that dream house, that dream lover, that
dream job, that dream business—that's the fire that pushes you forward
to do things that are unpleasant and you don't really want to do, because
eventually it's going to pay off and enable you to get to where you want
to be.

This is what happens with the average person—they don't want to go

through all of the unpleasant steps and spend the time doing things they
don't really want to do in order to get to the other side. Winners will do
it. Losers and passive people, or Betas, will shy away from that and just
try to be comfortable; that's why they typically go through life just
trying to get through it and not trying to make their dreams a reality.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-hate-my-life/20960

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Practice What You Enjoy

“Everyone has a purpose in life. Everyone has a unique combination of

innate skills, gifts, talents, hobbies and interests. The more time you
spend practicing what you enjoy the most, the more your purpose will
come into focus and become clearer to you. The more you enjoy what
you are doing, the less it will feel like work to you, and the harder you
will work at doing it. The more you work at what you love, the better
you will become at it. Practice, time and repetition are the builder of
skills. The more valuable and skilled you become, the more you can
charge others for your time, competency and value proposition. Master
your value proposition to others and you’ll also master your financial
destiny.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I can't remember who said it, but there is a philosopher that once said,
“If you do what you love for a living, you will never have to work a day
in your life.” The average person doesn't really enjoy what they're doing
for a living; they’re typically doing it for a paycheck. But when you
love what you do, it's almost like playing. It's like the great Stan Lee
said: to him, working on comics and drawing was just a lifelong passion
of his, and to him, work was like playing. And when you love what
you’re doing, it's like playing; it doesn't feel like work.

In other words, you don't really have a hard time motivating yourself to
do it, because it's so much fun. That's why it’s so critically important to
have a life that you enjoy and a life's work that you enjoy—that you

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choose to spend your time doing something that’s so much fun, it feels
like playing—and you almost kind of pinch yourself saying “I can't
believe I get paid to do this.”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/practice-what-you-
enjoy/30348

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How to Become An Alpha Male

“In order for a man to become an Alpha male, he must have a strong
and unbending sense of self, and be strongly rooted in a clear vision,
purpose and mission for his life. The more adrift a man is without goals,
ambition, focus or an emotionally compelling vision for his life, the
more he will struggle in his intimate relationships with money, health,
friendships, addictions, bad habits, procrastination and trying to attain
and maintain inner peace, happiness and fulfillment.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

Women love a guy who knows what he wants and is going after it and
pursuing it relentlessly. It doesn't matter if he's not there yet or has a
long way to go, or maybe a decade or two before he's going to get to
the destination that he’s dreaming and striving for. But as long as he
has a purpose, a belief in himself that he can do it, and he's taking
positive action towards that, it communicates that, as a man, he will
take care of the things that he needs to take care of. And that means that
he'll take care of the relationship, that he'll continually show up, that
he’ll communicate with her in a loving and healthy manner, that he’ll
continue to date and court her properly. If they have children together,
he’ll be a good, consistent father that works, and provides, and takes
care of all those little things, so she can depend on him and feel safe
and comfortable enough to submit to him and follow his lead.

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Guys that don't have their purpose and mission in order are like little
boys, and as women get older, especially as they get in their late 20s
and early 30s, the guys they may have dated in their teenage years or
their early 20s that didn't have their lives together but were a lot of fun,
eventually, they’re going to lose interest in those guys because, simply,
those guys just don't have what it takes to be a great boyfriend, a great
husband, and a great father, or a great provider long-term.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/how-to-become-an-
alpha-male/14690

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You’re Fired!

“Always seek to better your situation. If a deal goes sideways, put

together an even better deal down the road. If you lose your job, seek
to find a better, higher paying one. Scarcity creates value. Having
multiple job offers makes it easy to choose the best one and make the
most money. Having options gives you choices, superior leverage and
the strongest negotiating position. Think of job hunting, investor
hunting, client acquisition and dating prospecting as being a numbers
game. The more people you talk to and interact with who can offer you
what you are seeking, the quicker you will achieve your outcomes and
find exactly the right people, circumstances and opportunities.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

This is something that’s really important, and these are basic, 101 level
skills that every guy needs to understand, because you're always selling
yourself. You’re selling your gifts, your skills, your talents, your
experience and your reserve of knowledge. And if you value yourself,
you're technically a scarce resource in other people's life. And so, if you
value yourself, you’re not going to give away yourself for nothing.
You're not going to take that job offer for less money. You’re not going
to go out with the lesser attractive woman. You're not going to go do
something or go eat somewhere when a woman suggests something that
you hate just in order to please her, because you value what you bring
to the table.

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If you think about professional athletes when they become free agents
after their rookie contracts are up, oftentimes what you'll see is the
owners of these teams—which are often billionaires—hop on their
private jets and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in jet fuel and
cost to go fly to where that agent happens to be and sell them on why
they should move their family and their entourage, if you will, to their
city and come play for their organization. When you’re a rookie, unless
you're one of the number one rookies, you don't have a lot of leverage;
but after you’ve played for several years and you’ve played out your
rookie contract, now you've proven yourself—you’re a known quantity.
Now your stock goes up. That's when you have all the leverage to get
those really high-income type of contracts.

And so, you want to look at life the same way—you're coming to the
table with leverage and something that the other person wants. And if
that other person or that organization treats you like you're a second-
class citizen, if you've only got one option, one date, one potential
company to work for, you're in a weak position of leverage. If you have
multiple companies that you're talking to, you can pit them against each
other, and then you create scarcity in their mind.

Just like when you're dating, and a woman's afraid of losing you to
another top-tier woman, she's going to work harder to seek your
approval and validation and win you over—just like a company will
end up paying you more oftentimes than you expected just because you
had lots of choices and lots of options. When you have lots of choices
and lots of options, you have to weed out the best offer from the least

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attractive offer. But if you’ve only got one potential offer, then you're
going to be kind of desperate and you're in a weak position of leverage.
And you're simply not going to get the best deal that you can.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/youre-fired/31908

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What Are You Passionate About?

“If you are trying to discover what your purpose in life is or if you feel
that your career or business has become stagnant, dull and boring, you
should “look for the goosebumps.” The “goosebumps” comes from the
thought of doing something you really love at the highest level and
doing it really well to the point of giving you goosebumps. If you are
still unsure, or if what you are thinking about doing is not emotionally
compelling enough to give you goosebumps, bring tears to your eyes or
make the hair stand up on the back of your neck, then keep searching.
Like all matters of the heart, you will know when you find it.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

So, I remember when I was 18 and trying to figure out what I was going
to do with my life, and I was sitting down with my mother and going
through the different majors that I can major in in college. And I knew
I wanted to do something with my hands. I knew I wanted to fix up real
estate at some point, but I needed to figure out what kind of degree to
get that would be helpful to the career that I was choosing. And, when
I came across construction management and a real estate career or
degree, what really felt most authentic to me was the construction
management, because it involved building, and that was what I really
loved more than anything—was working with my hands and building
things. Because I always had the ability to look at things that were

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crummy, or run down, or dilapidated and see a vision of what they could
be like if it was fixed up.

Whether it was my car, or it was landscaping at my parents’ house that

needed to be trimmed, putting mulch in the flowerbeds, putting low
voltage lights in the flowerbeds that throw light upon them at night, I
just was able and I had a natural inclination to do those things. And,
eventually, over the years I became good at it, developed some great
businesses, became very successful, built several multi-million-dollar
businesses with my former business partners, and then, over time I
started to recognize that I no longer had the same internal enthusiasm.
And then I was kind of back to square one right where I was when I was
18 all over again.

And so, I thought to myself, “If I had to start all over, would I want to
do what I'm doing today, or would I want to do something else? And if
I wanted to do something else, what would that be?” And what popped
into my mind was some kind of mentoring or coaching, and that started
a process for me to look towards what kind of possible careers and what
kind of possible businesses I could get involved in that would enable
me to continue to pursue things that I was passionate about. It's not that
I didn't enjoy construction and fixing things up or real estate anymore,
I just didn’t enjoy the day-to-day activities of having a mortgage, real
estate, and construction company or investment company. I still love
fixing things up, I still do nice jobs in the places where I live and I really
enjoy that, but it’s not my sole focus anymore of what I do for a living.

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And what you're going notice as you go through life and you age, what
you love doing today might not be so exciting and compelling 5, 10, 15,
20 years from now. And that's why you've got to develop the skill to
learn to trust your intuition, and your heart, and what feels right,
because it's going to continue to evolve over time.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/what-are-you-
passionate-about/13979

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Instant Dates That Can Lead To Sex

“Failure to live in the present moment and appreciate where you are,
even though it may not be where you ultimately want to be in the future,
is essential to enjoying your life, creating attraction and maintaining
attraction with members of the opposite sex. When we focus on and
worry about the future or the past, it takes us out of the present moment
and inhibits us from being fully present with whoever we are spending
time with. This will lead to suffering and problems creating and
maintaining attraction. Learning to go with the flow and inviting others
to join us on our exciting journey of life, instead of trying to force,
manipulate or cajole them to, is essential to achieving your pickup,
dating and relationship goals.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is why it’s so, critically important to have emotionally compelling

goals and reasons why you want to achieve those particular goals,
because it gives you something to hope for, something to look forward
to, something to strive for. Having great goals that inspire you will give
your life meaning. But, if you don't have any goals, because you've
convinced yourself that you're not capable of achieving anything you
want, that you're just simply a victim of circumstance, and life “is what
it is” and you just might as well make the best of it, it's going to be
pretty hard to be excited and look towards the future with hope and
optimism. And women love men who have hope and optimism and have

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a purpose and a mission that is fulfilling, and exciting, and compelling
to them, so they can join you for that journey.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/instant-dates-that-can-
lead-to-sex/16690

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A Life Of Balance And Purpose

“Being successful is the result of focusing on your outcomes and taking

action based upon them. You must also focus on being productive,
instead of simply being busy. When you spend your time doing things
that directly move you towards your grandest goals and dreams in as
few steps as possible, you become increasingly balanced and efficient.
Living your life based around your outcomes also causes you to only
spend your time with like-minded people and potential lovers who
nurture, support and encourage achieving them. By focusing on
emotionally compelling outcomes, taking action, learning from your
mistakes, refining your approach and constantly trying to learn and get
better, over time you will reach critical mass, and your goals will
become an eventual and inevitable reality.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Average, mediocre people tend to focus on making themselves busy

instead of being productive. Cleaning out your sock drawer and
organizing your sock drawer will keep you busy, but is that really being
productive? Is that actually going to move you forward and closer to
your goals and dreams, or just simply waste your time? These are the
kinds of things that average, mediocre people do. They make
themselves busy doing things that don't matter. Like Tony Robbins
tends to say, most people major in minor things. We have a limited
amount of time on this earth, and therefore how you spend it and what
you do during that time determines where you eventually end up.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/a-life-of-balance-
purpose/23555

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Why Women Prefer Alpha Males

“An Alpha male is strong, centered, determined, focused, authentic and

lives and speaks his truth, without fear of the consequences or the risk
of failure. Alphas are proud of themselves, their lives, and the people
in them, as well as their accomplishments. Be proud of you for what
you are, where you are and for what you have the possibility and
capability to become with enough effort, time and repetition. Your
future possibilities are only limited by your thoughts and the actions
you fail to take. The more you focus on what you want to create, the
more action you take, the more you learn from your mistakes, and the
more you refine and improve your approach, the more likely your future
reality will match your dreams.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

It's easy to be passive, it's easy to be lazy, it's easy to be weak, it's easy
to blame other people. It's hard to go for the things that you want in life,
because there's a lot of uncertainty, and you're going to have to endure
a lot of failures and take a lot of risks to go from where you are to where
you want to be in life. You’ve got to love yourself, and you’ve got to
value yourself, and you’ve got to learn to appreciate your life no matter
where you are, even if the place you want to be someday, it seems so
far off and impossible from where you are today. If you have a
compelling vision, a compelling mission, and you're taking action to
make that a reality, you’re going to eventually end up way closer to
where you want to be than people who are just trying to avoid life or to

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get through it. That's just simply no way to live. Again, the time is going
to pass, you might as well spend your time doing something positive to
move your life forward.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-women-prefer-
Alpha-males/34088

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A Man’s Purpose

“It’s essential in all healthy relationships that your inner circle and your
romantic partners cheerlead for you and delight in your success. Good
people who are good to you and good for you are excited to see your
dreams come to pass, and they celebrate your victories with you and
support you when things are not going well. Toxic people seek to tear
you down, demoralize you and make you question yourself and your
dreams. Unhappy people seek to make you miserable in a dysfunctional
attempt to feel better by tearing you down. Winners build you up,
always have a kind word and rejoice in your success. Good people add
value to your life, while losers are time wasting energy vampires.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

It's essential that you have people in your inner circle who are positive,
who are optimistic, who have a kind word of encouragement, no matter
whether things are going well or things are not going well. Because if
you allow people into your inner circle who are miserable, who are
unhappy, who are playing small in life, they’re going to try to sandbag
you. Now, the average person will like to see you doing well, just as
long as you're not doing better than them. And so, what you may notice,
as you start to go for the things that you really want in life and that
you're really passionate about, and as you start actually making progress
towards making that a reality, that people who initially seemed positive
and supportive now turn into negative people that are saying negative

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things, because they're jealous, they're insecure, and they're envious of
your success.

This was something that I noticed, especially when I was in my early

20s and I started striving for the things that I really wanted to. My
supposedly really good friends were becoming more smart-asses and
having negative comments about the things that I was doing. Whether
it was because I was working two jobs, or I was taking a difficult degree
program, or I would share about the things that I wanted—I had a new
car, because I worked two jobs and worked my ass off when they
didn't—they would talk shit about it. And over time, what happened
was people that I was friends with through my teenage years, people I
grew up with and then I got into my early 20s with, it’s like a lot of
those people I just had to leave them behind, because they were like a
giant boat anchor around my neck, holding me back. And, obviously,
now at 50 years old, the people that I'm closest to always have a positive
word of encouragement.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/a-mans-purpose/36257

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 High Achievement

Being Alpha

“Being Alpha means taking personal responsibility for your own life,
actions and outcomes. Your success or failure depends 100% upon what
you do or fail to do. Only weak people blame others for their own
failures, shortcomings or lack of success. Alphas look at failure as
simply a necessary learning experience and stepping stone on the path
to ultimate victory and success. Betas play the victim, blame others and
convince themselves that life is a game of luck and chance. Alphas
make their own luck. The moment you blame anyone or anything
outside of yourself for the circumstances of your life is the moment you
give away your power and ability to shape and change your destiny.
Everyone has setbacks, traumas, failures and unexpected
circumstances. Alphas use everything that happens to them in life, good
and bad, as a life lesson, opportunity for growth and tool to improve
themselves.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Life is not all sunshine and roses. Sometimes it sucks ass. Sometimes it
sucks ass for extended periods of time. Sometimes you’re going to have
to do things you hate in order to do things that you love. I was doing a
phone session yesterday with a client that was on the other side of the
globe, a young guy, he was only 17 years old, lost his virginity this year
because he read my books, was a self-starter, he lost his father when he

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was really young, and he was going through all the successes that he
had had in his life over the past year, and he was really down about
himself and where he was in life. And I was relaying to him, I was like,
“Dude, you got to have these great experiences in high school dating
several women, sleeping with several women, and getting experience,
whereas I didn’t get to experience anything like that until I was 21 years
old. I didn't have a book like mine. I didn't have the Internet back then.”

I mean, back then in the 80s we had push-button telephones and also
those rotary telephones. And here, he’s able to go on YouTube and
watch my videos and learn from me and go out and get great results that
literally took me decades to get as a 17-year-old. I told him how proud
I was of his progress, and after we had this phone session—because part
of his problems is that he's getting ready to start university and get his
degree, but he’s got a lot of classes he's got to get out of the way that he
really doesn't want to take—I said to him, “It took me seven years to
get through college, and I'm not a doctor. I've got a four-year Bachelor
of Science degree in Construction Management, it’s an Engineering
type of degree.”

And I hated school, that's why it took me seven years to get through it.
I didn’t enjoy driving to school, I didn't enjoy most of the classes that I
had to take, but what got me through it and what enabled me to go to
class, to get up early in the morning, because I would get up at like 5:30-
6:00 in the morning to drive all way down to Miami to work my job as
an estimator for a construction company, and then I would drive back
up to Broward County to take some classes in the evening. I’d get to

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class around 6:00, I’d be in school till 9:00 p.m. at night, and then when
I’d get home about 9:30 or 10:00, I usually went to bed around 11:30 at
night or 12 midnight, and I always had at least an hour and a half,
sometimes two hours, worth of homework that I had budgeted in my
time management on my schedule to work on my homework. Because
on the weekends, I was working a job tending bar at a restaurant to
make some extra money. And so, every minute of my day, from the
time I got up early in the morning until I went to bed at night, was
planned out.

And so, there was a lot of time where I wasn't excited about it, I wasn’t
looking forward to doing it, and it sucked. But what kept me going and
enabled me to do the work, even when I didn't feel like it, was I would
think about the payoff and all of the great emotions and experiences I
was going to have once I got my college degree, and I got the experience
that I wanted, and I was able to start my own business someday. All
those years of struggling in school, and working two jobs, and not
having much of a social life during the week, it was all worth it. And
when you have an emotionally compelling reason why you want to do
something, because as Dale Carnegie said—I think it’s going back
probably close to a hundred years ago at this point—he said “Inaction
breeds fear and doubt. Taking action breeds confidence and courage.”

And when I didn't know any better when I was younger, I would sit
around and think about all the homework that I had to do, and how
much I wasn't looking forward to it and how unpleasant it was, and I
would just try to avoid it, because I associated more pain with doing the
homework than pleasure. And once I, especially when I got into Tony

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Robbins in my early 20s, I recognized how I was sabotaging my own
success. I associated more pleasure with blowing off homework and
eventually dropping the class—when I got too far behind and started
failing tests—than I did thinking about the big vision that I had for my
life and what I wanted to accomplish 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the road.
And that big vision and all the things that were going to happen that
were positive in my life was what enabled me to sit down, put my head
down, and just do the homework.

And what was interesting is, once I learned that, I time managed my
whole entire schedule, is if I budgeted half an hour, or an hour and a
half, I should say, for my nightly homework, there were times when I
would get done in an hour, there were times I would get done in 45
minutes. Sometimes when I had budgeted two hours’ worth of
homework to do, sometimes I got that done in 45 minutes or an hour,
and then that gave me an extra 20 minutes or a half-hour, and I could
go watch a TV show or something that I had recorded on the VCR,
(now, for those young guys, you probably haven't had the experience of
VCRs, you know, with the tapes and everything. You know the DVR's).
But what was interesting is, when I actually budgeted my time, I was
way more efficient than I thought I would be, and that enabled me, on
the weekends, when I didn't have a night off or I had the early bar shift,
to be able to go out after work and hang out with my friends and have
peace of mind that I had everything done.

Remember, inaction breeds fear and doubt, taking action breeds

confidence and courage. And because I did all the work during the

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week, when the weekend came, instead of feeling guilty about going
out, I was excited to go out and blow some steam off, and hang out with
my friends and have a good time, because I wasn't in the back my mind
worrying about all the things that I didn't accomplish like I used to do
before I learned how to do time management, and change my mindset,
and associate pleasure with the payoff from doing all these unpleasant
things that I wanted to do.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/being-Alpha/31961

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Job, Career, Business & Entrepreneurship 101

“Everyone who is not already independently wealthy must work in

some kind of job, career or business to earn money to live, provide for
themselves and their family. The more you love your work and the more
you can work in jobs, careers or businesses that you love and enjoy, the
harder you will work at becoming efficient, effective, skilled, useful
and successful. The more value you can add to your employer’s
customers and organization, or the more value you can add to the lives
of your own customers if you are an entrepreneur or business owner,
the more your opportunities, earning potential and earning choices will
increase. Money doesn’t make you happy, but it does give you choices.
The amount of personal, professional, material, romantic and quality of
life choices you can have is in direct proportion to the amount of ever-
increasing value you add as an employee or an employer. As an
employee or employer, if you don’t continuously innovate, improve,
learn, grow, and enhance your skill set and value proposition,
eventually you’ll be replaced by a cheaper and younger version.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

Your number one focus in life should really be all about learning to
become a person of value, and you become a person of value by
continually growing your reserve of knowledge, developing your skills,
your gifts, and your talents. Because the reality is, your ability to earn
money and increase your wealth over time is directly proportional to

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the value that you bring to the marketplace. The average person goes
into a job, they learn their job, and then they put their head down and
that's pretty much all they do. High achievers are always looking for the
next best thing, the way to acquire more knowledge, or continue to
improve their skills. Their goal is to improve just a little bit on a daily
basis. And as the years roll by and you gain life experience, this life
experience gives you wisdom. And when you gain wisdom, you
become more efficient—you're able to do things in a much shorter
period of time, versus when you are younger and less experienced.

As far as career and business goes, that really should be your sole focus:
trying to always increase your value proposition and the value you bring
to your employers, your own business, your own customers, and the
people in your orbit. Because, if you apply yourself on a daily basis,
trying to get better as the years roll by, you become more valuable and
you're able to negotiate and get higher salaries. And if the people you're
working for won't give you a higher salary, then you go find somebody
who will. And once you line up a new job, then you can go to your
current job, put in your two weeks’ notice in, leave on good terms, and
continue climbing the ladder of success throughout your life.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/job-career-business-
entrepreneurship-101/17069

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You Can Accomplish Anything

“Everyone loves to be around successful people. People who almost

always have a smile on their face, a kind word for a stranger and who
make others feel uplifted by simply being in their presence. Being
successful is not only a direct result of taking action in spite of your
fears, but having a childlike curiosity, determination and anything is
possible type of approach to life. When we are really young, we don’t
get deterred by failure, obstacles or rejection; we often question
everything, and our favorite phrase is usually “why?” It’s not until we
get a little older when the world and other people start imposing their
limitations upon us, that we start to lose our passion for living and
believing in ourselves. Successful people march to the beat of their own
drum and simply are not interested in listening to or adopting the
limitations of others. The quickest way to become a failure is to start
living your life according to the expectations of other people, instead of
the dreams of your heart.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Having a very public presence on social media and disclosing so much

about my history and past relationships that I've had, it's amazing when
you've got literally millions of people who know who you are, and
follow who you are, and read your books and your website, and watch
your videos, every single one of them has an opinion on how they think
you should live, what they like, what they don't like.

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Like for me, personally, people say, “You should grow your beard out.”
I have a beard that I'm wearing, presently, when I’m filming this; some
people say, “You should make it thicker.” Other people go, “Dude, you
should shave that shit off your face.” Other people are like, “Grow your
hair out,” “Shave your head,” “I don't like the shirt you're wearing,”
“You shouldn’t wear that jacket.” “I don't like the sound of your voice,”
“I don't like how you live your life,” “I don't agree with your life
choices,” “I don’t agree with your health choices.” That's why it's so
important to know who you are and what you want, because you're
surrounded by people who are projecting their lives and their lifestyle
onto you and everybody else around them, because they're looking for
validation that they've made the right choices.

Only you know why you do what you do, and that's why you have to
have reasons why you live your life in the manner that you do, because
it pleases you. Because when you're sure of yourself, who you are, what
you want, why you want it, and then somebody comes along trying to
change you or impose their will upon you or their lifestyle choices on
you, they try to shame you or manipulate you, if you’ve got your own
strong internal compass and motivations, you'll let that stuff roll right
off you like water rolls off a duck's feathers.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/you-can-accomplish-
anything/17227

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Moderation Is For Cowards

“Human beings are wired to succeed. We are wired to seek out and
obtain the best for ourselves. Having the perfect life, career, body,
friends, family, lovers, business, lifestyle, etc., is a process that is just
as much about who we become or need to become along the journey of
our lives, as it is about having standards for ourselves and knowing
what we want and why we want it. All great things take time.
Sometimes the things we want will take decades to accomplish. Being
mediocre or settling for a life that is less than what you are capable of
living, is simply giving up out of fear that it won’t work out for you, or
fear that you don’t deserve to have what you want. Someday, your time
on this planet will be over. Give life your best shot and never give up
on the things that make you smile. Living a life full of regrets is not
where you want to end up when you get old. Knowing you did your best
will always give you peace of mind and leave you feeling content, no
matter what happens.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This goes back to our fears, and how damaging being overwhelmed by
fear and trying to avoid what you fear will rob you of your potential and
your dreams becoming a reality. Everybody is afraid. Even the most
successful people have doubts when they take on a new big endeavor
that it’s going to work out in their favor. But the reality is, as you focus
day in and day out in trying to get a little better each and every day to
add to your reserve of knowledge a little bit each and every day, to

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develop your gifts, your skills, your talents a little bit each and every
day, you start to make small, incremental progress. And the progress is
excruciatingly slow, and it never goes as fast as you think or hope it's
going to. It's all the result of time, and repetition, and habits.

A lot of your life, a lot of your journey, especially when things take 10
or 15 years to work out, you’re going to see small progress, and a lot of
times it's going to feel hopeless. But every day, you have 24 hours in
the day, and you have to spend it somehow. You might as well spend it
trying to move a little bit closer to the things you want in life, instead
of trying to avoid what you fear. Because when you experience the
things that you fear, what happens is your imagination of that fear and
actually experiencing it, doing what you fear, is you realize that your
fear of doing nothing is actually way worse than actually doing what
you fear. And all of the success that you want, all of your dreams that
you want to happen, are on the other side of pushing past that fear,
which is the result of getting immersed and obsessed with taking action
to move your life forward.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/moderation-is-for-
cowards/16509

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Time To Put Your Big Boy Pants On

“If you want to reach your full potential in every area of your life, you
must become comfortable with operating outside of your comfort zone.
This will require you to deal with stress, fear, failure and tremendous
uncertainty as your actions take you into unfamiliar territory. It’s much
easier to be mediocre, play it safe and live a life that is less than what
you are capable of living, but this will eventually rob you of your
enthusiasm for life and living, and significantly reduce your life
expectancy. However, by pushing beyond your comfort zone and taking
action in spite of your fears and the potential for failure, you will
discover that you can be so much more than you are today. The more
you become comfortable with being uncomfortable, the better your
quality of life will be and the longer you will live. Happiness and
enthusiasm expand your life and your health. Unhappiness and
hopelessness takes it from you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The world is full of mediocre people who have given up on themselves

and their grandest goals and dreams. They're typically looking to
someone or something outside of themselves to solve their problems,
make them more money, give them a raise, and help them climb the
ladder in life. When you think this way, your destiny is at the mercy of
other people and other circumstances, and most likely, you'll never
reach your full potential.

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High achieving people just completely look at the world differently.
They see possibilities, they know success takes a long time, and it takes
a lot of dedication, and it takes persevering longer than everybody else
is willing to persevere. As Wayne Dyer used to often say, “It's never
crowded along the extra mile.” If you look at the most successful people
in every industry, they just work harder and longer at things that they're
working on, because they have more passion, internal enthusiasm, and
they have a stronger internal constitution that keeps them moving
forward, even when other people are laughing.

Just like when I started my YouTube channel many, many years ago, I
remember that first year, every time I’d post a video, I’d be lucky if the
thing got 80 or 100 views, and I would have people commenting,
“You're an idiot,” “Nobody's watching your videos,” “Oh my God, why
are you wasting your time doing all of these?” But yet, I wasn't deterred.
I knew what I had to offer the world; I knew it added value. And with
enough time, and repetition, and teaching the things that I knew about
life, enough people, including the people that were hating on me,
(because, really, they were just testing me to see if I really believed in
what I was doing), enough people started to read my book, started to
apply it, started to get the results, and started showing up on my channel
posting their success stories.

And other new people that came along saw this and that gave them
encouragement to also apply what was in my book, and eventually, they
did the same thing. They started posting their success stories. And when
somebody else new would show up and talk about how they doubted it,
they'd have several people telling them how my work had changed their

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lives. And they would all go in the forums on the internet, they would
go where my book listings are and post good reviews, and this is the
best evidence that what I teach actually works—other people actually
using it, and getting results, and sharing their results.

When you become truly great and exceptional at something, lots of

people are going to notice; they’re going to get the same results, and
they're going to tell everybody they know about the success that they
got, and that gives other people the confidence and the courage to apply
it and get the same results.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/time-to-put-your-big-
boy-pants-on/17327

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Why You Struggle To Make Money

“Entrepreneurs and people on commission don’t mind the struggle or

not making money, because they believe in themselves. It’s exciting for
them to imagine and work towards the day that they make it, and their
hard work pays off. They experience fear and uncertainty, but they
thrive in that environment. Entrepreneurs and commissioned
salespeople like their independence and depending upon themselves to
produce results. They like the challenge. Those who have an employee
mentality are better suited to a steady paycheck they can count on to
pay their bills. They tend to prefer structure and a regimented
atmosphere where they know what to do and what is expected of them.
If you choose a job or career that is not aligned with your true nature, it
will be a significant challenge to feel happy and fulfilled. Being
unhappy in a job, career or business will negatively affect your health,
relationships, finances and your ability to find consistent joy in your
life. The more passion you feel for your chosen profession, the harder
you will work at it and the more your earning potential will increase as
your experience and skill-set grows.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Making money in life is the result of the value that you are adding
through some kind of product or service that people need, desire, and
want. In other words, it solves some kind of pain that they have in their
lives. And so, for entrepreneurs and people on commission, why they

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tend to earn way more than the regular employee does is because these
people thrive on being self-reliant; they love the challenge.

I remember back when I was in college, I knew when I was 18 years

old what I wanted to do. My dream at the time was to learn to buy, fix,
and sell single-family homes for a profit. That was my dream. And that
dream, that fire, that passion, is what got me up early in the morning
and kept me up late at night studying homework when I was working
two jobs and going to school full-time. The payoff that I was going to
see someday down the road when I had my own business was what
enabled me to continually go to class, and pay for class, and pay for
books, and listen to professors that were teaching a subject that I had
zero interest in, because I just had to get through that class, I had to get
those prerequisites out of the way. And eventually, it paid off for me
big time.

And when I decided to get out of real estate and become a full-time life
coach, I was willing to sleep on my dad's couch for four years. I thought,
at the time, when I started this business, that it would only take me a
year or two and I'd be right back where I was, because I had all of this
life experience and all of this success. Well, everything that I succeeded
in and used to succeed in the real estate business just, for the most part,
really didn't apply in this new business.

I think it was, I can’t remember who it was, either Thomas Edison or it

may have been Henry Ford who said, “Success is going from failure to
failure without loss of enthusiasm.” And that's why it’s so critically
important, if you’ve got something that’s really emotionally compelling
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and it's exciting and appealing to you, you’ll suffer. You’ll live like a
broke college student, you’ll sleep on your dad's couch for four years
in your late 30s, or live like a broke college student with a bunch of
people that you’re not really enjoying hanging around, but it's a means
to an end. Because, again, you’ve got something really exciting—a big
emotional payoff—down the road of where you’re going to be
someday.

And the reality: your financial compensation is the direct result of your
reserve of knowledge, developing your skills, your gifts, your talents.
Whether you’re an employer, an entrepreneur, or an employee, you get
paid based upon the value that you bring to the marketplace. Most
people get a job, they learn that job, and that's it; they don't ever try to
grow beyond that, they don't ever try to grow their skills, their
knowledge, or develop their talents. That's what separates the winners
from the average people in life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-you-struggle-to-
make-money/16958

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Do The Best With What You Have

“Everyone has innate gifts, skills and talents. You should move towards
the things you are curious about, have a passion for, your heart compels
you to pursue and that your intuition or gut feels right about. Skills,
wisdom and success comes with experience and time. People are not
born being the best. Becoming the best at anything in life comes from
taking action to learn what you do not know and applying what you do
know. Your natural gifts, skills and talents can be cultivated, developed
and perfected over time through repetition. The better you become at
something and the more value you add to other people’s lives, the
higher your earning potential becomes. The more value you add to the
lives of others, the more value, significance and meaning you will feel
for your life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

It's often said that life comes down to not necessarily having a great
hand of cards to play with but playing well with the cards that you have
been dealt. Because the reality is there's always somebody that's smarter
than you, better looking than you, has more time on their hands, has
more experience, has more connections than you do, had a better
education than you, is more optimistic, whatever it happens to be.

The thing that separates the high achievers and the winners from the
losers is that the high achievers do the best with what they have. They're
typically willing to work longer, and work harder, and endure more

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hardship and lack of success than the average person does. And by sheer
force of will and persistence over time—in other words, persisting
without exception no matter what—they simply outlast the competition,
because successful people are simply willing to do the things that the
average person will not do.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/do-the-best-with-what-
you-have/16899

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The Key To Personal Peak Performance

“If you want to reach your full potential so you can achieve your
grandest goals and dreams, you need to learn to apply the secrets of
personal peak performance and high achievement. Truly successful
people are consistently focused on giving their best effort in every
moment in time. They are focused relentlessly on incremental and
moment by moment self-improvement and action taking to master their
chosen passion and craft. It does not matter whether they are winning
or losing, but how they apply themselves and remaining focused on
taking the actions they know they need to take in the present moment.
Successful people understand that success is not a moving target.
Success simply comes from knowing what you want, why you want it
and having an emotionally compelling reason that motivates you to take
action to try and get a little better each day. Achieving really big goals
is simply successfully breaking down big problems, ideas or tasks into
daily achievable goals. It’s by achieving the small daily goals that
makes big successes inevitable over long periods of time. Unsuccessful
people tend to get lost in the minutia and enormity of the challenge and
work that lies before them. They, therefore, give up at the first sign of
difficulty, challenges, setbacks or they never even start because they
become overwhelmed with fear and doubt.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, over the years, I’ve worked with a lot of professional athletes in the
MLB, (Major League Baseball), and the NBA, and the truly great

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players—the players that do exceptional work—simply focus on trying
to get better in the moment. They don't worry about the game that's
coming in a few days, or next week, or the playoffs; they’re focused on,
moment by moment, what they need to do right now to try to get better,
to try to learn, to try to study, to learn from their mistakes. It's a
moment-by-moment process that is the result of simply taking
consistent action, because if you do that, what happens is, when your
time comes to perform, you're simply focused on what you need to do
right now.

And I'm sure you’ve seen people that are playing games, or they're
playing for a championship or a really important game, and things
aren’t going that well, or they have a bad play, or the referee calls a
penalty against them, and they totally lose their shit—they get angry,
they get upset. And for the next two or three plays, they’re pretty much
out of the game, because they're in their head and they're stuck in the
past, worrying about what happened.

It's the same thing that I do with the guys that I train with in the firearms
industry. Whether you're working in a shoot house and you know that
there’s people in the shoot house waiting to ambush you and shoot you
with non-lethal training munitions. You focus on the moment and the
movement of your gun, acquiring the target, moving the gun towards
the target, and when the red dot is there, slowly easing the trigger back
to take the shot, instead of being worried about this person shooting
back at you.

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And all of the things that I've learned over the years in coaching have
really helped me do well on the gun range, obviously, and as well in the
shoot house, because I'm able to keep myself focused, moment by
moment, on what I need to do. I see somebody that's playing the bad
guy, so to speak, I'm just simply focused on acquiring the target, making
sure I'm in a concealed position, and as soon as the shot is there, taking
the shot. And because I practiced that tens of thousands of times, at this
point, it just comes naturally.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-key-to-personal-
peak-performance/14663

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A Man Handles His Business

“If you are fearful and worried about what may or may not happen in
the future, you are not living in the present moment. The only moment
that exists is right now. The best cure for being fearful is to start taking
action to shape and change your destiny. When you are too busy taking
action, you won’t have time to worry. At the end of each day that you
take positive action towards making the future you want a reality, you’ll
feel a sense of purpose, accomplishment, peace, contentment and like
you did your best. Your future is shaped by what you do or fail to do in
the present moment. If you do what is necessary today and every day,
then where you’re going to end up in the future is obvious and
inevitable.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You can look at your future and your dreams becoming a reality as not
a matter of hope, but simply a matter of time. It’s simply the result of
taking action day in and day out—even when you don't feel like it, even
when it seems hopeless, even when you had one failure after another.
Because the reality is the time is going to pass. But your actions tend to
stack upon one another and help you grow exponentially. And as the
years roll by and you gain life experience, this teaches you wisdom, and
you learn how to be even more efficient at what you do as time goes by.
And that means that you have to spend less and less time doing things
that were once extremely difficult to where you get to the point where

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you have unconscious competence, where you just naturally do the
most important things, day in and day out, to move your life forward.

Because when you're younger and you don't have a lot of life
experience, you don't have the wisdom that goes along with that, and
so you tend to be very inefficient in how you go about making things
happen. You have to put the time in; there is no shortcut to success.
Every great, successful person kept moving forward, even when the
future looked like it was in doubt. Even after they had one failure after
another, they kept moving forward. And, eventually, they gained
enough wisdom, they got enough life experience, they developed their
gifts, their skills, and their talents, and grew their reserve of knowledge
to the point where they had critical mass. And to the inexperienced
observer, it just looks like they made it overnight. As the old saying
goes, “It took 10 years to become an overnight success.”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/a-man-handles-his-
business/33048

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Alpha Vs. Beta Mindset

“Human beings need certainty about their future, and they also need
variety to make life fun, exciting, compelling, interesting and worth
living. Success and striving for one’s goals and ideals requires being
uncertain for extended periods of time as you take the leap of faith that
your efforts and actions will eventually result in victory and success at
some unknown point in time in the future. This also requires mastery of
our innate need to avoid pain and to gain pleasure. Mediocre people
focus on the pleasure they will experience by not doing what they know
they need to do, and the pain they will avoid by playing it safe and not
taking risks that can potentially lead to rejection, pain and failure.
Therefore, we must focus on the pleasure we will gain when doing what
we know we need to do and the pain we will experience if we don’t.
Ultimate victory and success requires embracing and looking forward
to potential pain, rejection and failure as simply an unavoidable part of
the process of how you learn and get better.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Mediocre people tend to avoid moving in the direction of the things that
they want, because they’re focused on the potential pain they’re going
to experience if they start taking action and things don't work out. That's
why mediocre people—when they have their goals and dreams and they
start going after them—if they don't have success right away or it
doesn't happen in a relatively short period of time, they’re going to quit
and they're going to give up. And because of the they pain experienced

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because of that failure, for the rest of their life, they tend to avoid taking
any kind of real risk to go after the things they want. Because they've
now convinced themselves that success is impossible for them and it's
totally out of their control. Whereas successful, high achieving people
understand that success is a process.

Success is a commitment to each and every day, trying to get a little bit
better than you were yesterday. Being more efficient in how you spend
your time, being more efficient in what you spend your time on, how
you learn, how you grow, embracing failure, looking forward to failure,
being excited about failure and what it's going to teach you, and how
it's going make you better. Because each failure gets you closer and
closer to that ultimate success. I believe it was Henry Ford that said,
“Success is being able to go from failure to failure without loss of
enthusiasm.”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/alpha-vs-beta-
mindset/35195

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Moving At Two Speeds: Slow & Stop

“It does not serve you or the world by playing small because you fear
what other people will think or do if you focus on reaching your full
potential. The world will be a much better place, and you will add much
more value to society, if you become all that you are capable of
becoming. By becoming the best version of yourself, you will be
happier, healthier, more peaceful and balanced, more productive, more
compassionate, more generous, a better parent, a better friend, a better
lover and simply have a more positive impact on society as a whole.
The world deserves your best. Not everyone is able to make the hard
choices and do the difficult things that are required to reach their full
potential, and therefore, deliver a maximum benefit to society.
However, by becoming your best self, you will become a leader, an
example, a role model and a trailblazer for other people to model and
emulate when they don’t believe in themselves. When you reach your
full potential, not only do you liberate yourself, but your very presence
will liberate and free others to do the same.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The word “lead” means “to go first.” That's what a leader does, he or
she goes first; they show other people how it's done; they lead through
their example. I believe it was Sun Tzu that said, “A leader leads by
example, not by force.” By showing other people that you can do it
when they see your example doing what they would like to do, they can

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follow you, follow your leadership, follow your example and get the
same results.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/moving-at-2-speeds-
slow-stop/18321

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Effortless Natural Attraction

“Being happy and learning to value and stand up for yourself makes
you stand out and sets yourself apart from most other regular people
who are just trying to get through the work week, so they can escape
from life on the weekends. In a world full of people who never come
close to reaching their full potential, high achievers are willing to do
the little things day in and day out that most others won’t do to move
their lives forward. High achievers make plans and take action, while
low achievers talk about what they’re going to do, but only make
excuses and seek out reasons to justify doing nothing to change their
reality. Low achievers don’t like high achievers, because just being
around them makes it all too obvious why their lives are going nowhere.
Low achievers will work to sabotage your success, because they don’t
like feeling uncomfortable and being reminded that they are willingly
choosing to be mediocre. That’s why it’s so critically important to
surround yourself with other high achievers who will support, nurture
and encourage you to become all that you are capable of being.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

So, when things are going really well in your life—your career is going
well, the business that you’re building on the side or maybe that you’re
working in full time now is going well, you're in pretty good shape,
you’re eating good, healthy foods—you’re going to have sharp mental
clarity, you’re going to feel good about yourself you’re going to be

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spending time when you're doing things recreationally with cool
people, having fun, you’re going to be smiling a lot. Because if you feel
like you're making progress towards achieving your grandest goals and
dreams—it doesn't mean you have to be there today, but it means that
you’re making incremental progress that is noticeable to yourself and
other people. That's what builds your confidence, because you're also
very busy taking lots of action. And when you're busy taking lots of
action, and you see yourself making small, incremental progress, and
you can kind of see your future life and the vision that you have starting
to take shape and coalesce around you, that's going to build your
confidence, because now you’re feeling like "Wow, this is actually
working, this is actually happening. I'm getting closer to my goals.”
That makes you feel good, that makes you smile more, that's going to
help you be more optimistic and happy on a daily basis.

And the reality is, the average person is just not in the same place
emotionally. And that's why when you're in this vibrational state and
you walk into a room, or a bar, or a party, or a social function, or the
mall, or having lunch or dinner with friends, or on a date, you’re going
to be feeling good. And because you feel good, it's easy for you to make
other people feel good, and especially if you're looking to date or meet
new friends or new acquaintances or new clients, people are going to
feel this. We all like being around optimistic people, because being in
an angry, pissed-off state is low vibrational energy, and it takes a lot of
effort to be there. Whereas having a life in a state of ease and delight
and peace and balance feels more natural. Because, whether we realize
it or not, we’re always trying to create a sense of peace and well-being
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in our life, but most people just have no idea about how to make that a
reality.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/effortless-natural-
attraction/35156

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25 Reasons Why Donald Trump Won

“Alpha masculine and feminine energy is the energy of leadership,

certainty and competence. A man who is centered in his masculine
energy with a vision and purpose is almost unstoppable. A man who is
not centered in his masculine energy is too timid, weak and uncertain
to overcome challenges and become what he needs to be to accomplish
his goals and dreams. The same goes for a woman who is not centered
in her feminine energy. Voters will always choose an authentic Alpha
male or Alpha female over a phony and inauthentic man or woman who
is not centered in their natural masculine or feminine energy
respectively.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This particular article I did back in 2016 after Donald Trump won, and
what I did in the article was 25 reasons why he won, and how it related
to my book How To Be A 3% Man. Because obviously, if you were
watching the news and the media back then, everybody told you, even
on the night of the election, that Hillary Clinton had a 98% chance of
winning. And I've been saying since the time that he was running that
he would be the nominee, and that eventually, he would win when I
compared the two. Because if you look at him, whether you love him,
hate him, agree with him, disagree with him, he's always kind of been
a playboy, he's always had lots of different women in his life.

And what's interesting, there was an interview around the time, 2016,
done with the Greta Van Susteren where she interviewed Melania
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Trump at their home in New York, and she was asking her how they
met, how their relationship started. And what was interesting is they
were both at a function, there were a lot of models there, and Donald
Trump actually was on a date with another woman. And Melania knew
the kind of playboy that Donald was. And so, he's on a date with another
woman, and she went and approached Donald and asked for his
number. Now, he wasn’t exclusive with this other woman, but it just
shows you when you're balling out, when you're successful, when
you’ve got all of the most popular rappers in the world singing songs
about you and saying how everybody wants to be like Donald Trump.
Because before he ran for president, everybody loved him; they loved
having him in their movies, they had him on their TV shows. But then,
as soon as he starts to run, he's a racist, he's a horrible, awful person,
and everybody changed—and they started talking about how much they
hated him and what a horrible person he was. But the reality was, he
was an Alpha male playboy.

Granted, he's been married three times, and you could say, “Hey, it took
him three tries to get it right.” Melania knew what she was getting
into—I mean, he was on a date with another woman, after all—and so
she actually approached him and asked for his phone number. And what
was interesting in the interview is she said, “I wanted to see what phone
number he would give me back,” because she said, “If he just gave me
his business number, well, I'm not interested in business, I was
interested in him personally.” And so, when she asked for his number,
he gave her not only his business line, but he gave her his cell phone
number and his home number. Because she was looking to see if he was

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actually interested in her, because she's like, “I'm not interested in doing
a business deal with him.” She was interested in him romantically. So,
she asked him for his number, and I believe it was about two weeks
later that she called him, they started dating, and the rest is history.

And so, when you look at him compared to the Clintons' relationship,
Bill Clinton has constantly cheated on Hillary, probably almost going
all the way back to the 1970s. It was pretty well known, it was in the
media, and it’s pretty much obvious to most people that their
relationship is just a relationship of convenience. He lives his life the
way he lives it, and she lives her life the way she lives it. And so, if
you're going to compare Hillary Clinton to Donald Trump, who's the
more authentic, who's the more real, who’s more masculine, who’s
more feminine?

Donald is more in touch with his masculine energy and Melania is more
in touch with her feminine energy than Bill Clinton is with his own
masculinity and Hillary is with her feminine energy. Hillary is a very
masculine person, and a lot of people did not like her. And when I
looked at the way he behaved, the things he stood for, how he carried
himself, it was totally aligned with the things, love him or hate him,
with what I put in my book. I got a lot of shit for it at the time, but that
video did really well, and a lot of people liked it, and it was just a great
way to relate something that's in my book to two very public people
that, at the time, were pretty much the two most famous people in the
world.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/25-reasons-why-
donald-trump-won/27804

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Women Prefer Alpha Males

“Alpha males win consistently, because they prepare for success ahead
of time. They practice, learn from their mistakes and always look for
easier and more efficient ways to achieve their outcomes in the shortest
time possible. The best women prefer Alpha males, because they have
higher standards for themselves and are usually the most successful and
desirable men in all areas of their lives. Beta males make excuses, live
lives that are less than they are capable of living, shrink from challenges
and often sabotage their own prospects for success. Alpha males
envision success, expect to succeed and are not surprised when success
happens.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Alpha males tend to be the most successful, whether it's a great athlete,
or a great entrepreneur, or somebody that’s just a great employee and
they rise all the way up the corporate ladder and eventually become the
CEO. They’re willing to take more risks than the average person is
willing to take. Their tolerance of pain threshold is much higher than
the average person. They’re willing to be uncomfortable for extended
periods of time, usually many years and decades. Because the reality is,
all those people that you know that have accomplished the things that
you want, you don't see all of the late nights, all of the sleepless nights,
getting up early, staying up late, all of the failures, all of the frustration.

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By the time we find out about a really successful person, they've gone
through all of those difficulties and challenges, and overcome them and
learned from their mistakes. And if a man is successful at getting what
he wants in life, he therefore will be a great provider—if you're going
to have a family—and enable the woman to be a great stay-at-home
mom and raise the kids, while he goes out and slays the dragons. And
then, when he comes home at night, she can celebrate his successes and
victories with him.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/women-prefer-Alpha-
males/35905

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The Long Road To Self Mastery

“Direct your attention and focus on what you want to accomplish. Big
goals are accomplished by breaking them down into small daily goals
that can easily be accomplished in a matter of hours or minutes each
day. Budget your time so you make the time to do the things that are
necessary right now, in order to get to where you want to be in the
future. You must prioritize your to-do list based upon what is absolutely
critical that you get accomplished before you go to bed tonight. If you
do, you will be able to go to bed tonight feeling content, peaceful and
relaxed because you made a little progress today. When you schedule
your priorities daily, your goals and dreams will become a reality over
time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Time management is something that all of us need to become masters

of, because most people tend to major in minor things; they put lots of
things on their to-do list. And the reality is, like most people, that to-do
list never seems to be completely checked off, because you're always
adding things to that, you're always deleting things, some things get
modified. And so, if you’ve got a ton of things on your to-do list, you’ve
got to kind of take a step back and think about, what are your most
important outcomes in life? That's why having a list of goals and
numbering those goals in order of their priority, when you’ve got a lot
of things on your plate and a lot of things to do, will really help you to
be efficient.

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So, if you've got goal number one that’s most important to you, say your
number one goal is to be healthy and have a good, great, in-shape body;
well, anything that you have to do, whether it’s going to the gym, going
grocery shopping for healthy foods, making sure you're going and
eating at healthy places and budgeting your time, when you're figuring
out your to-do list and what you're going to work on and in what order,
you’re going to go through your to-do list and you’re going to put a
number one next to all of the things that correspond to being healthy
and taking great care of your body. And so, when you start working
through your to-do list on a daily basis, you're going to focus on
everything that has a number one next to it, because those are going to
be a priority.

And then, once the number ones are done, then you go to the number
twos on your list that correspond with your second most important goal.
And when you do that, what typically tends to happen is that you're
more efficient, you’re not wasting your time just organizing your sock
drawer, even though that might be important. You're making sure that
you get the most important activities and little daily goals done on a
daily basis, because over time that's going to cause you to be really
efficient in how you apply your time. Because everybody has the same
24 hours in a day, most people just waste it and it’s incredibly
inefficient. So, time management is something that is essential to
understand and master if you want to achieve your grandest goals and
dreams in the most efficient and shortest time possible.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-long-road-to-self-
mastery/16852

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 Raising Your Standards

Heaven On Earth

“Heaven on earth is different for every individual. Success is really

being able to spend your life in your own way, having the freedom to
do what you’ve always dreamed of doing with your time, and doing it
with the kind of people you’ve always dreamed of doing it with.
Everyone wants the best that they can get in every area of their life.
They want the best lovers, the best houses, the best cars, the best friends,
the best jobs, the best businesses, the best bodies and health that they
can create or obtain. The more you focus on becoming the best version
of yourself that you can become, the more you will be able to attract
and obtain the people and circumstances that you’ve always dreamed
about. Like attracts like. People who have high standards for themselves
are going to attract other like-minded people who share the same high
standards. Raise your standards, and you will raise the quality of the
people and circumstances in your life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

As the quote says, success really is being able to spend your life in your
own way; being able to get up when you want, go to sleep when you
want, date when you want, work when you want, travel when you want,
be able to get up and spend your day in a way that is pleasing to you.
Being able to have total ownership of your time is the result of setting

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your life up over a long process. It typically takes at least a decade or
more before most people get to that place. Sometimes you really have
to do things that you hate in order to, eventually, do what you love.

If your dream is to sit around and lay on the beach all day and be a
philosopher, you’ve got to do the work ahead of time to create the life
and lifestyle and the income streams that will enable you to have those
kinds of choices. Money doesn't make you happy, but it does give you
choices. So, what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? In other
words, if you got up every day with the knowledge and the wisdom and
the belief that someday, someway, somehow, over time, focusing on
doing things you love and you enjoy, and developing your gifts, your
skills, your talents—things you’re innately drawn to, interested in, and
passionate about—the more you grow your reserve knowledge and
develop your gifts, skills, and your talents, the more you're going to be
able to charge for your services; just like the free-agent after he plays
out his rookie contract proves that he's worth the big contract. And
when that happens and he becomes a free agent, then he's got choices
as to where he wants to go, who he wants to play for, and how and what
city he's going to live in, and the kind of lifestyle he's going to get to
enjoy for his life.

But you’ve got to start somewhere. The journey of a thousand miles

begins with a single step. And that single step is simply to start moving
towards the things that you're passionate about and you're curious about
and find a way that you can add more value than anybody else in your
chosen field or profession. That's why it's so important to find

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something that you can easily obsess over and become really great at it
and master it. Your obsession is your passion for whatever it is you're
trying to grow and improve at, and that obsession means you'll out-
work and out-hustle and you'll persevere longer than your competition
will.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/heaven-on-earth/19263

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With Women... Patience Pays!

“Every woman has encountered numerous overly eager, quick to anger,

needy and desperate men in their dating lives. These kinds of men turn
into stalkers, control freaks and abusive boyfriends. Therefore, most
women have learned to make a guy wait, test him, wait to call/text him
back, make him wait for sex, etc., in order to screen out the freaks and
protect themselves emotionally, mentally and physically. Content,
happy and patient men are men who treat women with respect,
appreciation, honesty, love and are not bothered by these tests of their
strength. Why? Because these men have options too, and they want,
deserve and get the best for themselves. If you let women do most of
the initiating of calling, texting, pursuing and touching so you can then
reciprocate slowly, they will give you the keys to their kingdom, tear
your clothes off and never leave you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is super important in the beginning stages of dating because the

average, attractive woman has lots of options; lots of guys are throwing
their dicks at her trying to get her attention, make her their girlfriend,
or spend time with them. And a woman who has lots of choices and lots
of options is going to want the most balanced, masculine, and Alpha
type of guys, and, therefore, she's going to tend to take longer to call
you back, or text you back, or make you wait, or right in the middle of
a text exchange she just leaves you hanging. You can't take this
personally; maybe she's busy, maybe she got a phone call from

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somebody that she was close to, maybe she just stepped into a meeting,
maybe she had to hop in her car and drive somewhere. The worst thing
you can do is start barraging her with calls and texts: “Hey, what's going
on? Where are you at? Why aren’t you replying to me? What happened?
Things were going so good.”

Insecure guys are always trying to get validation of where they stand,
and the reason they're trying to get validation of where they stand is
because they're fearful and they're trying to get into a peaceful and
relaxed state, but they need the woman to confirm that she is still
interested. Well, women, being like cats, their attraction goes up and
down throughout the days. Like, I’ll give you an example: if you just
spent three or four days in a long weekend with your girl, and then, she
seems like when she leaves that last night or you drop her off, she seems
almost kind of cold and lukewarm, like she's kind of taking you for
granted. Don't take it personally. They’re just like a cat; when the cat
gets bored, it stops purring and it hops out of your lap. Don't take it
personally, it has nothing to do with you. Just let the cat be and be glad.

A guy who's got his shit together is going to be like, “Finally, I’ve got
some peace! I can get some fucking work done now. This is amazing!”
And they're happy to have that extra time so they can get things done.
And then when she texts you a few days later, “Hey, did you miss me?”
“No. What? Well, babe, I'm just being serious. Well, maybe a little bit.
I might miss you slightly. What are you doing? Why don’t you get your
cute little ass over here and make me some dinner?” That's the kind of
good response that you want, because it's like that sexual anticipation
and attraction—it's the not knowing—talking a lot, spending a lot of

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time together, and then all of a sudden there’s space and distance
between the two of you. And you're not chasing after her, she's not
chasing after you.

And when she starts to wonder about you and realizes you haven't
reached out, you haven't started pursuing, she starts to wonder and
become unsure of herself, and then that's when she reaches out and says,
“Hey, what're you doing? I was thinking about you, hope you’re having
a great day. I was out with my girlfriends last night, were your ears
burning? Because we were talking about you.” If a woman is texting
you or calling you, you should assume that she wants to see you and
just use that as an opportunity to set the next date.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/with-women-patience-
pays/16494

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Do You Really Want A Girlfriend?

“If you are not in the kind of relationship that you want or are single
and tell yourself that you want a relationship, but don’t have one, either
you have a knowledge gap that inhibits attracting the kind of person you
want, or deep down there are things you know you need to work on first
before you are ready. Your feelings are your truth. If you tell yourself
and others that you want a relationship, but have been single for a while,
the reality is that if you’re really honest with yourself, you either don’t
FEEL that you are ready, or know because of a flawed approach that
you are sabotaging your success. When you are truly ready, willing,
able and open to a relationship, you can FEEL it in your heart and crave
it. Only then are you willing to do what’s necessary to attract someone
or change your flawed approach, so you stop pushing people away.
When you really truly want something to happen, you will find a way,
when you don’t, you’ll find a way out. As a wise person once said, “it’s
better to be alone than in bad company.” You will attract the best quality
people when you are in a peak state, not a weak state. Do what’s
necessary to get yourself into a peak state emotionally, mentally,
spiritually and physically, and the right person will show up in the most
unexpected way and being together will be effortless.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

I often see in my phone sessions with clients, men and women getting
involved with married people or people that are in relationships with
other people, and they’re cheating with their significant other. And what

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you see, oftentimes, is these relationships go on for many months and
even years. Like, in the case of women dating a guy who's married and
constantly saying that he's going to leave his wife, but right now is not
the right time. He's got a bunch of things that have to happen, and then
he'll be ready to leave his wife. He’ll say things like, “Well, she's in a
difficult place and I don't want to hurt her right now, so next spring is
when I'll really do it. We just have to keep things on the down-low.”
And what he’s really doing is bullshitting her and giving her false hope
and dangling the carrot of the relationship.

And guys do the same thing, they project their fantasy of what they
want, but both men and women are ignoring the fact that they're
involved with people that are just simply not, they're not even single,
they're not even in the market. They’re just using them, because
whatever they're lacking in their current relationship, the person that
they are cheating with or having the affair fulfills that need. And so,
what I explain to them and show them is that you have to walk away,
you have to go no contact. You have to stand up for yourself and what
you want and say, “I want to have a happy, healthy, normal relationship.
I'm not interested in having an affair.”

And this is the same thing I kind of used to do when I was in my 20s.
I'd get hung up on a girl that had a boyfriend, I'd be stuck in friend-zone
and thinking that “Once she becomes single, because she's not happy
with this guy that she's with...” And I would sit there, and not knowing
any better, be like an emotional tampon listening to her complain about
the guy that she's with and how he’s not treating her the way she wants

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to be treated, but yet, she didn't leave him. And then, eventually, she
would leave the guy, and I’d think “Okay, well now I’ve got to give her
a little bit of time for her to heal and get over it.” And then the next
thing you know, she's dating and sleeping with some other guy. And
my problem was getting fixated on her, acting like a platonic friend,
and hoping eventually I'm going to get my shot, instead of just moving
on and saying, “Hey if it doesn't work out with that guy, get in touch,
I’d love to go out.” And then you move on with your life. Sometimes
they reach out when that happens, sometimes they don't. But, if you're
looking for a relationship, you don't get involved or date people that
either don't match your wants, your needs, desires or get involved with
somebody who's just simply in a relationship with somebody else.

It's a way that people use to avoid relationships, because then they can
say, “Oh, everybody I want to date doesn't want to date me, and the
women I don't want to date are all over me. Why is that?” Well, you’ve
got to create a space in your life for somebody to fill. And if you're
involved with somebody that is not ready, willing, able, and open to
having a relationship, you're actually putting roadblocks to that
happening.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/do-you-really-want-a-
girlfriend/30393

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Women You Should Avoid

“Life is too short to put up with people who do nothing to add any value
to your life and more often than not, bring truckloads of unnecessary
drama with them wherever they go that can make your life a living hell.
Too many people have learned to fulfill their need for love and
connection in toxic and dysfunctional ways by being argumentative,
disagreeable, complaining and creating unnecessary drama. When you
come across people like this in your life, give them the gift of missing
you permanently. If you have people like this in your family that you
can’t avoid, then like they say in Jiu-Jitsu, manage the distance between
them and you. Only allow people into your inner circle who are easy
going, easy to be around and fun.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The harsh reality is that kids that grow up in balanced, healthy homes—
where they have a strong, masculine presence as a father and a strong,
feminine presence as a mother—are typically going to be more
balanced, healthy, and have a better self-esteem than kids that grow up
in dysfunctional families where there’s cheating, there's lying, there’s
deviousness, there is a missing father or a missing mother, or they just
simply are messed up parents, because all of their flaws, false
insecurities and doubts get passed on to their children. And so, when it
comes to not only who you date in life but who you spend your time
with, the people that tend to make the best friends, the people that are
happiest and the most optimistic, more often than not come from good,

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healthy, happy family households. So, it's important to notice how
people treat you, because we usually spend our youth being traumatized
by our family environment, and then as we become adults, we spend
many decades trying to overcome that kind of trauma.

The best way to have as drama-free of a life as possible is to spend your

time with people that came from good families. Now, it doesn't mean if
you came from a messed-up family—not that mine was perfect (which,
if you read any of my books, you know that it definitely, it was not)—
but the reality is, statistically, you're going to have a better shot of
having a better relationship with somebody that came from a good
family, and you’ll have better, loyal friends who come from good,
healthy environments as well.

The more messed up the environment, the more issues that person is
going to have, and the more struggle and difficulty and challenges that
you're going to have. It doesn't mean it's that way for everybody, but
just statistically, when you look at possibilities and probability, the
better the home environment, the better the kids are going to turn out.
And the worse the home environment, the worse the kids are going to
turn out.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/women-you-should-
avoid/36207

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She Felt I Did Not Really Care

“Our favorite person is ourselves. Human beings in general are more

attracted to people who find them attractive and interesting. Everyone
loves when others are sincerely interested in who they really are. Long
term relationships work when both people are sincerely interested,
enamored and engaged to make the other person feel loved, valued and
appreciated. One of the quickest ways to turn the opposite sex off is to
treat them like a sex object, or like you are more interested in what they
can do for you, than what you can unconditionally give to them.
Relationships are about mutual, perpetual giving and loving.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

Over the course of my life, like when I was younger, for me, being with
the so-called perfect woman was about getting her to like me. And as I
became better with women, and more skilled, and was actually able to
start meeting and dating the kind of women I wanted and getting into
relationships with them, what I started to realize is that there are some
women that just really, super like you, naturally, from the start. And
there are other women that kind of have a mediocre interest in you or
aren’t really that impressed, but they’ll give you the benefit of the doubt
and give you a shot to raise their attraction level.

And when I look back on all of the women I've dated over the course
of my life and the women I've had relationships with, the most intense

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feelings, and the most passion, and the most fun that I've had are with
the women where it was an instant connection, where I could tell right
away they were really into me and I was really into them. Because it
makes it very easy to flirt, and joke around with them, and have fun,
and to laugh because they have the same feeling of attraction towards
you, and they are putting in a mutual effort. Whereas, if you're trying to
date a girl that you really like, but she's just not that into you from the
beginning, you’ve got to work harder. And I've noticed that, yeah, you
can get them to fall love with you, but for me, personally, what I prefer
is when a woman is into you from the get-go, because it flows a lot
easier, it's a lot more effortless.

And what's really cool about it is that, as I've gotten to know them over
time, I experienced that a lot of the things that they're interested in, their
goals, their values, their background, they have similar shared
experiences, they’re into the same things, the same books, the same
kind of philosophy. And to me, when you meet somebody, because the
eyes are the window of the soul, and you have that connection where
you meet, you lock eyes, and you can't take your eyes off of each
other—to me, that's divinely orchestrated, and that gives me personal
evidence of the divine. And it just feels like that person is the right,
perfect person. And so, when I compare the two—women that I
basically have to work extra hard to get them to fall in love with me,
(which you can do), versus women that are already naturally into me
from the start—I, personally, prefer dating the kind of women that are
really, super into me.

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And at this point in my life, when it comes to pickup, or meeting women
or going out on dates, if I don't see a strong attraction, and a strong
interest, and a strong mutual effort—you know, maybe it's because I'm
spoiled because I've had so many great experiences, (that I've,
obviously, written about in my first book, How To Be A 3% Man)—I
personally, kind of take it as an insult to myself. Why would I want to
spend my time trying to convince a woman of my value, which I know
I can do over time, versus I'd much rather go and spend my time with
somebody that’s just really excited to be there? And to me, that's much
more, in my personal experience, those are just richer experiences.

And also, even when I've decided or we’ve both decided to kind of go
our separate ways, there's a lot of mutual respect and admiration
between us, and we still, you know, some the women I wrote about my
book, you know, we’re going on 15, 20 years later, they're still in my
life. I still have deep care and love for them, and they feel the same way,
and they've always stayed in touch, even though we've all gone on to
have relationships with other people. Because, as I’ve said before, if
you really love somebody and you really care about them, you want
them to be happy, even if it's not with you. I mean, I rejoice in their
success, I'm excited for them. I'm happy when they have a victory, I'm
excited when they have kids, or they feel like they've gotten into a great
relationship or have great experiences. I root for them, I love them on
that level. It's hard for most people to grasp or to do that, but to me,
that's what love really is about—it's about giving. You really care about
the other person, you want them to do well, you want them to succeed.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/she-felt-i-did-not-
really-care/17035

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Am I A Possible Replacement?

“People who have integrity and who are comfortable and secure with
themselves, typically don’t get involved dating other people when the
person they are dating still thinks that they are exclusive. People who
date or line up other lovers behind their back before a breakup are
revealing their true devious and selfish nature. Honorable people will
end a relationship without leading the other one on out of concern for
the other’s feelings; plus, it’s simply the right thing to do. If you
encounter members of the opposite sex who are willing to scheme and
deceive their current lover to be with you, that is exactly how they will
treat you if they ever become unhappy with you.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

I see this a lot in my phone sessions, guys are involved with women
who were dating somebody else or are still involved with somebody
else, and they started dating these particular women when they're still
involved with the guys that they’re in. And insecure women, women
that come, typically, from households where there is no strong
masculine presence there, or there is cheating going on in their own
family, it's like, they grow up in an environment where deviousness and
dishonesty and being deceptive is just normal.

And I've had conversations with people that are behaving this way, over
the years, quite a few of them. And what's interesting is the way they

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perceive things is: “Well, everybody's like this. Everybody does this.”
In other words, they just look at as “Hey, my needs aren't being met, so
screw them. All's fair in love and war. I’ll just go find somebody else.
And when I find the right person, then I'll just leave the relationship
with the person I'm not happy with and break up with them, and then
date the new person.”

And so, I often do phone sessions with guys that are the other guy, and
what happens is they eventually get into a relationship, they get
exclusive, and at some point, they're going to get lazy, and they’re going
to get complacent, and they stop dating and courting these women
properly, and they don't communicate with them properly. But they
think they're going to be different because, in their mind, “Hey, it was
meant to be. We're soulmates. She would never do that to me.” And I
know this from personal experiences, women that behave this way,
they’re loyal and faithful as long as they're happy. But as soon as the
future of the relationship is in doubt, they’re on the phone with the male
orbiters and the guys that are kind of stuck in friend-zone that want to
get out of it, going and meeting them for lunches and having just
friendly drinks.

And the worse the relationship goes with their primary boyfriend, the
more time they spend with the orbiters, and then these guys get dumped
or they find out that they're being cheated on, and they’re shocked. But
the reality is, if you date somebody that has a history of lying and
cheating and deviousness, it’s just delusional to think that they're going
to treat you differently. If they cheat on the other person, they'll cheat
on you. That's just a fact of life, and it's a harsh reality.

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If you want to date somebody who's going to be loyal and faithful, they
typically have to come from a background where they really appreciate
it. Now, it doesn't mean that people that come from these kinds of bad
backgrounds are always going to turn out this way, but it does mean,
statistically and numerically, the odds are not in your favor that they're
going to become a person of integrity. That's why it's so important to
date and remain objective, especially for the first 90 days, just to see
how they show up, how they treat you, and how things progress.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/am-i-a-possible-
replacement/13909

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Butt-Hurt And Offended

“Loving something or someone makes you willing to suffer for it or

them for extended periods of time. You should let other people sing
your praises. Let your life’s work speak for itself and your actions speak
louder than your words. The world is full of weak people who are too
scared and too fearful to go for their dreams. When they see other
people succeeding, or potentially succeeding, more than they are, they
try to sabotage their success to keep the other person at their level, so
they don’t feel uncomfortable or so bad about the fact that they are too
weak to attempt reaching their full potential themselves. No one will
ever do or say anything to you that is not a direct reflection of how they
feel about themselves in a moment. People project onto others what
they don’t like about themselves. Don’t take it personally when you
encounter a truly miserable human being. It’s not about you. It’s really
about what’s on the inside of them. People attack what they fear, don’t
understand or envy.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This can be really helpful if you have disempowering mindsets; if you

have people that you love and you care about, but they just constantly
make the wrong decisions and don't treat other people the way you want
to be treated. We each are at different places in our own evolution, some
people are further along than others. Love people, give to them, but if
they don't appreciate it or they treat you harshly, bless them and wish
them well on their journey.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/butt-hurt-
offended/23689

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Trust Your Feelings

“Learning to trust your heart, curiosity and intuition is not something

that is usually encouraged or valued in western societies. Our soul
speaks to us through our feelings. Feelings are the language of our
souls. Our feelings are our truth and should not be ignored. For
centuries, battlefield soldiers have learned to pay attention to and trust
their sudden feelings of danger right before they are attacked to help
them escape harm. However, while you should learn to trust your
intuition and feelings, you should also make sure you use your logical
mind to remain objective, so you can see people and situations for what
they really are, instead of the way you wish them to be, especially when
it comes to romantic love.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Wayne Dyer once said, “When you trust in yourself, you're trusting in
the same wisdom that created you.” In other words, every opportunity
or circumstance that you're presented with is an opportunity for growth,
and to improve, and to help you reach your full potential. When you
feel good, you should check it out and see where that feeling leads you
and takes you. But, again, you’ve got to remain objective and not get
carried away on your emotions, because you might have a blind spot
that you're not aware of. And by remaining objective and looking out
for red flags or undesirable characteristics, personality quirks, or flaws
in a person's personality, you can catch yourself. Maybe that intuition
or that feeling was just telling you that this person really likes you and

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is really interested in you, and they’re important for your next step of
development, but it doesn't mean that they're supposed to be
permanently in your life in your inner circle—that is something that
they must earn through their actions over time.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/trust-your-
feelings/25569

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Similar Goals & Values

“It is said, we become like the five people we spend most of our time
with. You are whom you associate with. If you want to become
successful and rich, you should spend your time with people who are
goal-oriented, driven, focused and way more financially successful than
you. People who are more successful than you tend to pull you up to
their level. People who are less successful than you tend to pull you
down to their level. That is why the overwhelming majority of people
who grow up in poor neighborhoods tend to spend their whole lives
being poor. Reaching your full potential is incredibly hard, takes
decades to accomplish and is the result of breaking big goals down into
small, easily achievable daily goals. Think of your peer group like your
team. If you want to be a winner, you must surround yourself with
winners. Unfortunately, if you surround yourself with losers, you will
become a loser yourself. It’s your choice. Choose wisely.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

I went to a private, Catholic high school in Fort Lauderdale, and what I

really thought was fascinating about it, and I started to see this in my
sophomore year, is that a lot of these kids I went to school with came
from very successful, wealthy families. And you would think the kids
that come from successful, wealthy families, for the most part, are going
to be just like their parents.

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And then you look at somebody that, their parents were really
struggling to get them into that school and to pay for them to go to
school there, and yet, after graduation and years later, some of the kids
that I went to school with that the came from very wealthy families
never really had to struggle for anything; everything was just kind of
handed to them. So, they kind of just simply didn't value it, and they
didn't work as hard. Whereas somebody like me, who came from an
average, middle-class type family—I always had fire, I always had
drive.

And I remember getting to know the different friends that I had in high
school and going over to their mansions or their parents would be out
of town, flying around the world, and we had the lay of the land at their
mansion. We’d have a couple hundred of us there, and have these great
parties in these beautiful houses with amazing furniture, amazing views
of the water and the intercoastal; some of the wealthiest families in Fort
Lauderdale. And the thing that struck me about that was that when I get
to meet their parents and get to know them, I really didn't feel like they
were better than me or smarter than me. What was interesting is that it
caused me to look at it and go, “I could do this. I could be just like them.
I can kind of have that same kind of life.”

And so, what’s interesting is, we got further on beyond high school, I
had friends of mine that I used to spend a lot of time with and some of
them were just total fuckups. They would get fired from jobs that they
took on. I had one of them that was actually stealing from some of his
employers, and he thought it was funny and fun, like this was a cool

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thing to do. And I had other friends that were similar to me, and they
also were very hungry and very driven and wanted more for themselves.
And as I got further away from those years, some of those kids that just,
they had no goals, they had no ambition; even though they were some
of the most popular people in my class and they were a blast to hang
out with, as we got into our 20s, they ended up living lives of
mediocrity, (and a few of them actually ended up in prison).

And as the years went by, I just spent less and less time with those guys
and a lot of them drifted away, but the ones who were hungry like I was
and wanted to make something of themselves, we tended to get closer
as the years went by, and we've all gotten to see each other, and support
one another, and nurture each other in our individual successes, and root
for one another. And it's great now, at 50, that I have friends going back
three decades and we have all this history together, and the ones that
were just kind of fuckups basically faded away and I lost touch with
them, and the ones that were hungry like me, we just gravitated together
because we wanted the same things.

It was fun when you’re in high school, hanging out with guys that don't
really have a purpose and don't really want to go for their goals and
dreams, but as you get older and you're hungry and you want something
for yourself, you just don't jive with them anymore. Sometimes you’ve
got to just let people go from your life in order to get from where you
are to where you want to be.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/similar-goals-
values/25926

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Stupid Things Guys Do For Love

“Instead of being focused on whether or not someone likes you, focus

on what you can give authentically from your heart in order to make
them feel special. Give the gift of your smile, an authentic compliment,
your time, your presence, your embrace, etc. If you only focus on what
YOU want from them, it will cause you to come off as manipulative,
inauthentic, controlling, approval seeking, creepy, weird, etc. See
yourself as a gift to others and act accordingly. Those who appreciate
the gift of you and want more will give back. When you give to a giver
the giver will give back; takers will only suck.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Love is about giving, after all, and that's what you're looking for. You're
looking for somebody that you can give to and, most importantly, who
will willingly and enthusiastically give back to you—not just in your
intimate relationships, but also your friendships, the people you hang
out with, the clients that you hang out with.

Something that I noticed back when I was in real estate many years ago
is, out of every hundred clients, we would always ask them and
encourage them to refer their friends, family, anybody that they may
have known that was in the market for the real estate services, or
mortgage services, or real estate investment services that we provided.
But what was interesting is lots of people would say, “Oh yeah, I’ve got
all these people. I'm going to refer you. I’ve got this person, I’ve got
that person,” and they would never call you with the names. Any time

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you would talk to them or interact with them they were always
promising to do it, but would never do it.

And the people that you least expected would be calling you out of the
blue, “Hey my brother needs a house.” “Hey, my mom needs to
refinance her home.” “Hey, my boss is looking for a new office
building, and I told him about you.” And so, what happens is that the
more time you spend with those givers, those giver-type of clients, and
you kind of treat them like the first-class passengers on your airline, so
to speak. Just like I said in the quote, “When you give to a giver the
giver will give back,” so they would tend to appreciate those things.

One of the things that we used to do is, every time that they referred us
to lead, and it didn't matter whether that lead turned into a piece of
business or not, we would always send them a $25 gift certificate to like
Home Depot or some other house-type related thing, and they really
appreciated that. And because of the law of reciprocity, and they're
already giver, when you give just a simple gift card because they gave
you a referral, they feel a little guilty and a little obligated to reciprocate
in some way.

You want to take the same approach in your dating life as well. You
want women that will also take you out to lunch, or dinner, or a drink,
instead of you always having to pay anything when you're in a
relationship with somebody. I remember, one of my first girlfriends,
one of the first things, she’d buy me jeans, she bought me a new
bedspread and pillow set for my bedroom, and she was always buying
things for me. And I always paid for us when we went out on dates and
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stuff, and that was what was amazing. And I've been fortunate
throughout the course of my life that I've dated mostly women that were
the same way—you do something nice for them, they do something for
you. And that's what you want.

The same thing with friends; you take a friend out to lunch, he’s going
to want to take you out to lunch. That's what you're looking for, is to
fill your life up with people that actually reciprocate and make the same
level of effort to make you feel loved and wanted, versus somebody that
you’re constantly having to ask them to reciprocate—whether it's
affection, or touch, or whatever happens it happens to be—whatever
small thing that's important to you that you want them to do. The right
people will love to do that for you. And that's why, if you come across
one of these people that’s a taker, it’s better just to move on.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/stupid-things-guys-do-
for-love/14415

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Do I Still Have A Chance?

“Fear is the greatest robber of peoples dreams and also what holds them
back from moving on from bad situations and relationships that have
run their course. Most people don’t like to be single out of their fear
that they will never find anyone or find anyone better. Healthy
relationships with healthy people who have similar goals and values to
you, are effortless and easy. Relationships full of drama, conflict, pain,
rejection and disappointment, are like swimming upstream in a river or
being stuck in a rip current. If you keep swimming against the current,
eventually you will wear yourself out and drown metaphorically. There
are 6.5 billion people on this planet, with the sexes being fairly evenly
split. If you are tired of struggling with people and relationships that no
longer serve you or that are full of drama, challenges and difficulty,
your odds of finding someone whose goals and values are more aligned
with your own are pretty good. Life is too short to settle for less than
what you really want and deserve. You should choose very carefully
the person who you spend your life with, because 95% of your
happiness or misery will come from that one decision. That’s something
to think about.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

A lot of the friction I see in relationships or guys that are dating women
that they're having a lot of difficulty and challenge with is the fact that
they're projecting their unreasonable dating fantasy onto the girl they’re
dating, and they're completely ignoring the reality of how she is. They

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often think with the right line, with the right technique, or the right
strategy that she will become the perfect woman with just a little
coddling and prodding and gently pushing her in the right direction.
And the reality is, the world’s full of toxic men and women, and you
have to be able to discern the good ones from the bad ones.

When it comes to friendships, jobs, people you date, places you live,
you’ve got to have lots of prospects and lots of options. Because when
you look at something like moving to a different city, it's always best to
travel and spend some time in a particular city or maybe a part of the
city that you're thinking about living in or moving to and see what it’s
like, see what the lifestyle is there. Explore it before you go and buy a
property in that area or you rent a place in the area. The same thing
applies to dating. You’ve got to test drive and see what they’re like.
You’ve got to have lots of options.

The same thing with the places that you potentially think about working
at; see what the culture’s like, see what the people are like that are there.
Do you like the managers? Can you see yourself hanging out with those
people socially? And if the answer is “No,” you need to keep moving
and keep searching. The goal is you're trying to always constantly be
improving any area of your life that’s not really working.

Tony Robbins has this acronym called C.A.N.I., and it stands for
“Constant and Never-ending Improvement.” That's a great way to
approach life. Because when you find the right place, you find the right
person, the right friends, the right company to work for, you’re going
to know it in your heart and you’re going to feel it. But also, over time,

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the more you spend with someone or the more time you spend at a
certain place, you might find that down the road you no longer have
that same internal enthusiasm. And by knowing what you want and why
you want it, you can see or measure if the circumstances that you have
in your life are ideally what you want. And if they're not, you have the
power to change it, but obviously, you have to take action based upon
the results and the measurement of the things that you're getting in your
life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/do-i-still-have-a-
chance/16437

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Non-Action Spiritual Attraction

“As you get older and are able to look back upon your life and
contemplate why things happened the way they did and why certain
people came into and out of your life when they did, you start to see the
magical synchronicity, perfection and purpose for what you
experienced and learned together. There are no accidents in life. There
are no coincidences, and there is no such thing as luck. People who
prepare themselves beforehand make their own luck when the right
opportunities and circumstances present themselves. It only looks like
luck and coincidence to those who don’t prepare themselves to
capitalize upon their own opportunities when they present themselves.
You’re either preparing to succeed by taking action to get better or
preparing to ponder on what you missed out on by doing nothing.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

I believe it was Confucius who said that “Success depends upon prior
preparation, and without said preparation, there is sure to be failure.”
And so, if you're struggling in your personal life or your professional
life to get the things you want, it's usually because the strategies that
you are employing suck, and they're not very good. And that's why my
first book, How To Be A 3% Man, and my second book, Mastering
Yourself, can help you fill in the knowledge gaps, so you can learn the
science of high-achievement fundamentals, so you can be more
efficient, and so you can get those things that you want. And as you

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start moving towards the things you want and you apply time-tested
strategies, techniques, and tips that actually work and are self-evident,
as you apply more and more of what you’re learning and you see that it
works, this builds your confidence and your competence.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/non-action-spiritual-
attraction/27854

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Relationship Attachments That Cause Suffering

“People who get hung up on lovers who are unavailable, married, in a

relationship or who simply are not interested, usually get attached to
what they cannot have because it’s how they subconsciously avoid
relationships altogether. It also reinforces their model of the world that
they are unworthy and don’t deserve to have what they really want, thus
becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Success in dating and relationships
comes as a byproduct of becoming your best self, and by only getting
involved with people who consistently demonstrate through their
actions that they truly care about you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You have to create a space in your life. You have to be ready, willing,
able, and open to having a relationship in order to attract somebody in
your life and to fill that space in your life that you’re holding open for
them. When you get involved with people that are unavailable and
you're hoping things are going to change, if deep down you don't
believe that you deserve to have what you really want, you’ll continue
to stay involved with them because that circumstance, that relationship,
those interactions match your self-perception. And for most people, this
is completely unconscious; they don't realize that they are doing that.

And so, I occasionally get phone sessions from men and women who
are involved with people that are married or in relationships with other
people, and they really want to be exclusive with them. And when
somebody’s been dating somebody that's married or unavailable for

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several years, it's like, they don't want to hear the truth, even though
deep down they know it's true and, typically, their friends or family,
everybody has told them the same thing that I'm about to tell them. But
I point out the actions, and they see the person as they are, that this
person's words and their actions never match, they never end up leaving
that other person. And if they ever were going to leave that other person,
they're not going to do it because you're sitting around waiting for them
to change their mind or to finally go through their breakup process.

If you love and you value yourself, if somebody’s unavailable, you’re

not going to mess with them, because if they cheat on that person that
they’re with, it's delusional to think that if their circumstances were
different, they wouldn't cheat on you. People who cheat and people who
lie, people who deceive, that's just the way they are. It’s not your job to
fix them, it’s not your job to save them, it’s not your job to change them.
That's why, if they don't match what you're looking for, if they're not
ready, willing, able, and open to having a relationship or they’re
involved with somebody else, it's best to just keep on moving until you
find somebody that can offer you what you want.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/relationship-
attachments-that-cause-suffering/16655

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I Realized I Could Do Better

“Everyone projects their dating fantasy onto their new lovers, while
willfully ignoring their flaws, quirks and idiosyncrasies. It’s not until
after the honeymoon period and infatuation period has ended, that we
start to see the person for who they really are. When a relationship ends,
it’s not that we miss the person we used to be in relationship with, but
that we miss the fantasy of who we thought they were. Healing after a
breakup comes with time, finding someone better and realizing that the
reality of our ex and our fantasy were not a match. Developing the inner
strength to make the right choices based upon a potential lover’s reality
comes from wisdom gained through relationship experiences, successes
and failures.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I see this a lot in phone sessions I do with guys. They get hypnotized
by the beauty of the woman that they're dating or what they believe
she's going to be. They’re tired of being single, they’ve been waiting
for a while for the right girl to come along. Finally, somebody comes
along that matches a lot of their criteria, and then they just assume, “Oh,
God has blessed me with the perfect angel. She's my soulmate, she's the
one. We’re going to have a wonderful time together. It's going to be
great. It’s just going to be swell.” And the reality is, they allow their
emotions to run away with them, and just like the quote says, it’s several
months or sometimes a year or more down the road, by the time they
get totally infatuated, they just completely ignore all the red flags.

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It's not until the infatuation wears off and they start having problems
that they recognize they’re in a relationship with somebody that's toxic
and just simply is not capable and doesn't have the skillset to have the
kind of relationship that they want. And that's why it's so important,
especially when you're in the beginning phases of dating, that you try
to remain objective, and look at the other person's actions, and just see
what they do and take with a grain of salt what they say. Because their
actions reflect their true intentions and their true character.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-realized-i-could-do-
better/23509

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Women Are Competitive For Men

“Some women can be very ruthless and competitive when they like the
same guy as one of their girlfriends. They often will ruin a friendship
and screw each other over in their attempt to win the same guy. They
also can be so devious that they will seduce and sleep with their
girlfriends’ boyfriends or husbands. Since women tend to be emotional
beings, weaker women who lack integrity will become run by their
emotions without thinking about who they are hurting or screwing over
in the process. Men should avoid women who behave this way, because
it reveals larger character flaws. Women should avoid and permanently
end friendships with other women who exhibit these behaviors or treat
them this way.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This can work to your advantage when you're dating multiple women,
because women tend to become more aggressive, especially when they
like the same guy—they perceive that guy as being a catch. In other
words, this is what goes back to social proof. When a man is being
perceived as a top-tier Alpha male—a guy who’s got his life together,
his purpose, his mission, he’s in good shape—and women notice that
other women are giving him attention, they will find him more
attractive and, therefore, work harder to get his attention.

But like the quote says, if you're looking to date long-term and you have
a woman that you're dating, and then one of her girlfriends starts

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coming on to you, and then you start dating the girlfriend that's coming
on to you, you're setting yourself up for failure, because women who
have integrity, you’ll be able to tell that they find you attractive, but
they're not going to act upon it.

Guys often make the mistake of thinking that because they're a good
dude, these women will be good, and loyal, and faithful to them,
because they're just awesome and they're better than most guys. The
reality is, if a woman acts out of a lack of integrity, thinking just because
she's with you that she’s going to behave differently is delusional, and
you're just setting yourself up for pain and heartbreak down the road.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/women-are-
competitive-for-men/19271

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 Facing Your Fears

Fear Of The Future

“Fear does not exist anywhere except in the mind. Human beings have
two primary fears: 1) Fear they don’t have what it takes 2) Fear that
they won’t be loved. Your ability to be successful, stay focused and take
consistent action to achieve your dreams is directly proportional to your
ability to use fear as a motivator to take the desired action, instead of
letting fear hijack you into taking no action at all or taking action based
upon avoiding what you fear. Action taken upon avoiding fear actually
makes what you fear happen. Since people will do more to avoid pain
than they will do to gain pleasure, learn to use fear as a tool and a
motivator by consistently asking yourself these three questions: 1)
What will this cost me down the road if I fail to take the proper action
I know I need to take? 2) What are the painful consequences of not
doing what I know I need to do right now? 3) What are the positive and
pleasurable outcomes I will achieve by taking the action I know I need
to take right now?” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

The difference between high achievers, people who reach their full
potential, and mediocre people or low achievers is that the high
achievers come up with emotionally compelling reasons to use their
mindset and their internal psychology to move their lives forward; to
take action in spite of their fears even when they don't feel like it. It's

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not that you're never going to be fearless, so to speak. The fears will be
with you, but they will subside if you put your head down and get
focused on taking consistent, relentless action.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/fear-of-the-
future/14529

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Am I Wasting Time Holding On?

“A committed exclusive relationship happens slowly over time. Two

people start hanging out, having fun and hooking up over the course of
several months. Under normal healthy circumstances, the focus is
simply on having fun, getting to know one another and enjoying a
growing emotional, mental, spiritual and physical connection. When a
man or woman starts dating with the intent to lock the other person
down to a commitment, constantly needing to find out where they stand
with the other person, getting a relationship status label, controlling or
possessing the other, this will cause the person who is less emotionally
invested to feel an impending loss of freedom, and therefore a loss of
sexual attraction. Their natural tendency will be to pull back and desire
space and time away from their new or potential lover. If the person
who is more emotionally invested does not give the other person the
space and freedom to come and go as they please, the least emotionally
invested person will leave and never come back.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

So, what you see in these situations, especially with guys that are
insecure—guys, in other words, that didn’t get enough strokes as a kid
from mom or dad—they've developed a story to where they don't really
perceive themselves as being worthy, because mom and dad didn't
make them feel loved, supported, and cause them to believe in
themselves like they could do it. And so, when they start dating and
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they get into a relationship, they’re constantly questioning that they're
good enough, they’re always seeking the approval of the person that
they want to love them. And because they're in a fearful place, they try
to force things; they call too much, they pursue too much, they try to
spend too much time together, they go out on a couple dates and they
start treating the woman like their girlfriend.

Women fall in love slowly over time. It's a process, and you simply
cannot rush it. You have to allow women to come to you at their own
pace. One of my favorite quotes is from Thich Nhat Hanh, and it says,
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” And
when a guy doesn't do that, the woman is going to bounce. And also,
when women come off and act needy and insecure this way, the guy is
going to feel smothered and he's going bounce on the woman.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/am-i-wasting-time-
holding-on/17251

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Presupposing That Failure Is Inevitable

“Fear of failure and fear of undesirable consequences is the wrong thing

to be mentally focusing on in life if you want to be successful. Being in
a fearful state and taking actions while in a fearful state tend to bring
about circumstances in your life that you are trying to avoid, not ones
that you want. You must focus on and presuppose that you will be
successful in life. Ask yourself, “What if things were going to work out
for me, how would I think or do things differently?” Your focus, efforts
and actions must be aligned with positive expectations, thoughts and
beliefs that you will be successful. In race car school they teach you to
look where you want to go. That way, you’ll steer the car in the desired
direction. Drivers who crash into the wall do so because that is where
they look. They literally steer right into the wall because their fear has
them focused on what they want to avoid. That’s something to think
about.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Fear of success, fear of failure, fear that things won’t work out in your
favor is typically what stops most people from taking any action
towards the things that they want in life. Because we're all naturally
driven to avoid pain more than we will do to gain pleasure, but you have
to learn to flip the script around and think in terms of “What if I don't
do what I know I need to do right now, what kind of pain am I going to
experience? And even though I don't feel like it, what if I take the action
anyway right now? What are the positive benefits that, eventually, I will

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get to experience in my life if I continue to take action, even if I don't
feel like it?”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/presupposing-that-
failure-is-inevitable/16536

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The Illusion Of Strength

“Impatience never commands success. It’s always better to take a deep

breath and take a step back when you are under pressure or when you
feel pressure to do something or make a rash decision without gathering
all of the facts first. This is especially true when it comes to negotiation.
It’s better to walk away from a bad deal and never look back, than to
bluff that you are walking away, only to turn around in a moment of
desperation and reveal your weaker position. When you care more
about what you want than the other party in a negotiation does, and you
show this, you will lose all power and leverage to get the best deal for
yourself and the terms you desire.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

When it comes to negotiation, practicing infinite patience is absolutely

essential. It's the same thing when it comes to creating attraction in a
woman; practicing infinite patience is essential to keeping her attracted
at the same level and growing that attraction. If you become impatient,
you try to force things. This makes you come off as being needy and
desperate. Needy, desperate people, in their personal and professional
lives, are behaving like they're not worthy. People who have abundance
and have lots of choices are going to take their time, because they need
data and they need facts in order to make a good, effective, intelligent
decision.

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So, if you're under the gun, if you're fearful, if you’re worried, it's best
to take a step back, pause, reflect, analyze the data, look at your options,
and then, when you're ready and you feel you've spent enough time
studying, then you can make an intelligent decision and take action.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-illusion-of-
strength/21962

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Neediness, Insecurity & Scarcity

“Fear that we’re not good enough or we won’t be loved and accepted
are the biggest self-created mental obstacles and barriers that prevent
most of us from reaching our full potential and achieving our grandest
goals and dreams. Fear causes us to try and force things that are not
matching our expectations or to completely avoid taking any action that
will move our lives towards what we want. When you think, feel and
know you are worthy and deserving of greatness, you will act
consistently in ways that make that greatness a possibility. When you
think, feel and believe you are unworthy and not deserving of greatness,
you will act consistently in ways that consciously and unconsciously
sabotage your success and take you further away from what you want.
If you presently have a negative self-perception or limiting belief about
yourself, the only way to overcome it is to take action towards what you
want, in spite of your fears, on a permanent, consistent, daily basis. You
must know what you want, why you want it, take action to make it
happen, learn from your mistakes and continually refine and improve
your approach over time. Successful people persevere no matter what
obstacles, setbacks and challenges they encounter. Unsuccessful people
give up and permanently quit as soon as things get difficult.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

Whatever your self-perception is is going to determine what you do and

what you are unwilling to do. If you're struggling to achieve something

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in life, you’ve got to look at, what is your self-talk? What are the things
that you're saying to yourself on a consistent basis? Is it positive? Is it
empowering? Is it uplifting? Is it optimistic? Are you being kind to
yourself? Or are you saying negative things to yourself like, “I'm
stupid,” “I'm an idiot,” “I always fuck things up,” “It never works out
for me,” “This always happens,” “I always attract the same kind of
people,” “I never can get what I want,” on, and on, and on, and on.
We’ve got to focus on what we want, have something that can create
hope for us in life; things that we can look forward to and look towards,
so we move in that direction, instead of avoiding it because we've
associated so much pain and negativity with potentially doing the things
we really don't feel like doing, but are necessary in order to make things
a reality.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/neediness-insecurity-
scarcity/26552

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Impatience Never Commands Success

“Impatience never commands success in any endeavor in life. The very

nature of being impatient is driven by fear: fear of success, fear of
failure, fear it won’t work out, fear you won’t get what you want, etc.
What you fear in life you will attract. Why? Actions motivated by fear
are actions motivated by lack, unworthiness and scarcity; and therefore,
will only create more of what you lack. Actions motivated by patience
and careful planning always are going to be more efficient and more
effective than those motivated by fear.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Whenever you take actions that are driven by fear, because you're
impatient, you’re desiring an instant result or instant success, or that
girl that you just met, you’re hoping that she, in essence, is going to
commit to being your wife on your first date, these are the kinds of
things that cause you to ruin good opportunities. The same thing comes
when you're negotiating for a job, or negotiating for a salary increase,
or they want to give you a promotion and you're negotiating the terms.
Especially if it requires you to relocate to a different part of the state or
the country or maybe even move to another country, it's really helpful
if you have a list of your outcomes and things that you want to get. In
other words, what's it going to take to make you happy? What kind of
salary do you want to see? What kind of benefits do you want to see?
Where do you want to live? Where do you want to hang out? What
kinds of friend and family events do you want to be able to do on a

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consistent basis? These are all considerations that you need to figure
out ahead of time, instead of just kind of floating through life.

Because when you get impatient, when you're desperate, you're in a

weak position of leverage from a negotiating perspective. And if you're
in a weak position of leverage, you’re going to take terms and accept
things that are not ideal and not really desirable, and you're going to
resent it on some level. That's why it's always better to be patient, take
time, say “Let me get back to you,” “Let me think it over,” “Let me talk
it over with my wife,” “Let me talk over with my girlfriend,” “Let me
talk it over with my family.” “I’ve got a few other options right now I
want to explore,” “I’ve got some other companies that are expecting to
get back to me,” whatever happens to be.

It's always good to have options, and it's always good to take your time
exploring those options. Especially if you're dating multiple women, it's
always better to take your time before you commit to any one woman—
until you are absolutely sure that she's a good match for you. Like the
quote in the article says, ‘Impatience never commands success. And if
you want to reach your full potential, you’ve got to learn to exercise
infinite patience at times.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/impatience-never-
commands-success/13656

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Control Freaks & Abusive Men

“Control freaks and men who are emotionally abusive towards women
are actually men who feel totally out of control and deep down are
insecure. They try to control the women they date, because deep down
they don’t feel like they deserve women who would freely give them
what they want. They therefore, try to force women through threats and
intimidation tactics to do what they want. In the end however, what they
fear, (losing the one they love), inevitably happens due to their actions
communicating their true feelings of unworthiness. Eventually, the
women tire of their weak controlling ways and leave for good.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

You’ve probably heard some people say, “She's dating this guy and he's
a real jerk, but she loves the shit out of him.” And if you get to know
this guy, he's getting mad at her, he gets insecure, he gets upset, he
orders her around. And when they start dating initially, she takes his
assertiveness for the Alpha characteristics, but as she gets to know him,
what it really is—the reason he's ordering her around—is he is
completely, his whole life, is completely run by fear and he's worried
about losing her. And so, because he's afraid—just like the Beta male
who is afraid he is not going to be liked, and he over-pursues and chases
a woman too much to the point where he literally chases her right out
of his life—the control freak and abusive man does the same thing, but

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in a different way. He tries to control things, and then when the woman
doesn't comply, he gets angry. And what’s always behind anger is fear.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/control-freaks-abusive-
men/14251

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Be Bold & Take Risks Without Fear

“It’s a masculine and manly behavior to be bold and take risks without
fear of undesired consequences, failure or rejection. A man has to show
up and go for what he wants in life, whether it be a career he wants to
pursue, a job he wants, a business he wants to start, a woman he wants
to see or a woman he wants to kiss and seduce while on a date with her.
Even if you get rejected or fail, other people and women will respect
you for at least having the guts to go for what you want. When you fail
to go for a kiss or ask for a date, you are not only failing yourself, but
you are failing all women because you are failing to show up in life as
a man and give the gift of your masculinity without any attachment to
a particular outcome.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You’ve got to be courageous; you’ve got to take risks. That's what men
do. They go forward towards the things they want; they do their duty
even when it's scary, even when it looks hopeless, even when the future
or future success is in doubt. That's just simply what men do. And
women love men who do that. If you see a gorgeous woman, and you
think she's actually one of the most beautiful woman you've ever seen,
go up to her and tell her exactly what you're thinking, what you're
feeling, without any kind of attachment to it. Just blurt it out, let 'er rip.
You'll be shocked at the kind of reactions you get from most women.

The average woman will be surprised to hear it, and she’ll often be like,
“What?” Her voice will change, she’ll become kind of submissive,

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unsure of herself, and she’ll be really shocked that you said what you
said, and you’ll light her up. Because most men never compliment her
authentically like that. Usually what they do is they try to fly under the
radar and act creepy or weird, act like they just want to be friends, act
like they want to do her favors or they’re just being nice, when the
reality is, they're just covering up for their fear about displaying their
interest and their sexuality in a confident way. Confident Alpha males
put it out there because they're giving a compliment as a gift, an
authentic compliment from the heart. It doesn't require anything in
return, you’re just simply going to light her up.

Masculine energy grows through challenge; feminine energy grows

through praise. When you authentically praise women and compliment
them for what you see or the beauty that you see in them, you’re going
to cause them to be even more feminine. And they’ll appreciate that,
they’ll appreciate your radical honesty and your authenticity; it's very
sexy to women. Even if they’re unavailable, they’ll thank you for being
so real and so transparent without trying to hide, or fly under the radar,
or act creepy and weird.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/be-bold-take-risks-
without-fear/14694

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I Changed Myself For Her

“Changing yourself to become what you think you need to be in hopes

that someone else will love and accept you only leads to your being
miserable and getting rejected anyway. It’s always best to live your
truth and be who you really are. Besides, people can only fake who they
really are in the first ninety days of a relationship. If you have presented
a fraudulent version of yourself initially to get love, you’ll only end up
disgusted with yourself and resentful towards the other person, because
you have repressed your true self.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

It's always better to be who you are and let the chips fall where they
may. That's part of being an Alpha. It doesn't mean going around and
kicking everybody's ass, it means “This is who I am. I love myself, I
love what I'm about, I love my life, I love my lifestyle. I’ve got great
friends, I’ve got a great family, and if people don't like who I am, they
can go on down the road,” because there really is another bus every 15
minutes. There’s 7.5 billion people in the world. And if you continually
move and you continually circulate through life and through humanity,
eventually you're going to draw other like-minded people to you and
circumstances to help you reach your destiny and make your dreams a
reality. Let people see who you really are, and if they don't care, it's not
your problem. Other people's opinion of you is not your responsibility
and it's none of your business.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-changed-myself-for-
her/13831

458
Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Lose

“In life you’re not always going to win every time. Sometimes you will
win, and sometimes you will lose. The most important thing is not
whether you win or lose, but how you manage your own internal
psychology and state. Winners expect to win, and they also expect to
fail. Once you can accept the fact that life is not always going to go the
way you want or turn out the way you expect, only then will you be
able to lose your attachment to any outcome. The key is to always give
your best, expect to win, but be okay with whatever shows up in your
life. It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but that
you continue to get back up again and take your next shot. Learn to live
one moment at a time and one play at a time, so you never let
disappointments, setbacks or challenges negatively affect your progress
and effort going forward. Otherwise, you’re simply allowing failure,
fear and uncertainty to hijack your emotions and prevent you from
giving your very best. Never give up, never give in and never back
down from what you want in life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is hard for a lot of people to accept—that failure is just a necessary

part of life. And the sooner you can realize that, and accept that, and
embrace it, and look forward to failure because of what you're
potentially going to learn from that failure—just like Thomas Edison
used to look at failure and things that didn't work out, he looked at it as
simply part of the process of eliminating the things that didn't work, so

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ultimately, eventually, he would come across the right way to make
things work.

Because whether it's part of your career, or how you interact with other
people, or if you're in sales, or interacting and trying to improve your
skills with women, the more you interact with other people, the more
you're going to get feedback, the more you’re going to be able to
measure the results that your approaches are getting, and as you have
different failures as well as successes, you can see what works and what
doesn't work and continue to change and modify your approach. But the
reality is, you need lots of data, you need lots of prospects, you need
lots of interactions with other human beings to refine and improve your
skills in every area that's important to you and that you're seeking to
improve, and get better at, and more competent at.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/sometimes-you-win-
sometimes-you-lose/14808

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We Got Naked & She Laughed At My Size

“For men, being able to get an erection when they are physically healthy
is really a matter of being able to completely relax and let a sexual
encounter happen. Men need to feel successful at making a woman
happy and turning her on in order for them to feel confident enough to
perform and have good sex. If a woman is constantly berating, trying to
diminish a man, or make him feel inadequate in any way as a man, it
often will have a negative effect on his ability to relax, feel desire for
her and perform sexually. A woman needs to lovingly build a man up.
A man needs to completely relax in order for sexual performance to be
easy, effortless, and fun for both of them.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Sometimes guys suffer from performance anxiety, and it really is all up

in their mind; they want something to happen, they’re trying to force
something to happen. But making love and being able to perform is
really about being able to relax and completely let go and let things
happen to your body—taking the time to just enjoy the sensation and
slowly get aroused, instead of trying to rush things or feel like you have
to perform. Because the reality is, if a guy has a hard time getting hard,
the woman tends to take that as rejection—meaning he doesn't find her
attractive, he’s not turned on by her—and if she's completely naked and
ready to let him have his way with her, and then he’s not able to get it
up, most women will typically take that as some kind of rejection. And
then the guy starts trying to reassure her and use logic and reason,

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instead of just relaxing and guiding her to touch him, and he can close
his eyes and just enjoy the process instead of trying to rush it. Because,
as you start to relax more and let go, and just focus on the sensations
that your body is experiencing, then nature will naturally send the blood
flow to the proper parts of the body.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/we-got-naked-she-
laughed-at-my-size/18161

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I Can’t Believe I’m Dating Her!

“Human beings have two primary fears: 1) Fear that we don’t have what
it takes, (enough education, looks, skills, talent, intelligence, resources,
etc.), to get what we want, and 2) Fear that we won’t be loved and
accepted by our friends, family, peer group or lovers. These fears are
what prevent most people from ever stretching beyond their comfort
zone to go for what they really want in life or to be able to hold on to
what they really want when they have it. Be aware of your self-talk and
what comes to mind when you think about what you want or take action
to get what you want, so you are making decisions from a place of peace
and certainty, instead of fear and scarcity. Why? Because what you fear,
will attract.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If your life is run by your fears, you're constantly trying to avoid

unpleasant outcomes. Whether it's to avoid losing your job or avoid
getting rejected by somebody that you really care about and really want
to be with, you’re going to take actions that are very inefficient. And,
especially when it comes to dating, if you fear losing this person you’re
going to call more, you’re going to text more, you’re going to pursue
more, and you're going to give off a needy and clingy vibe.

And then, when women naturally back up like they do when men
behave this way, the men tend to, without knowing any better, start to
call and text more because they feel they have to do something. In

463
reality, what's going on is they’re just trying to make up for the fact that
they don't feel very good about themselves. And the higher a woman's
level, or initial level, of attraction is for you, the more you can screw up
in the beginning. But the lower it starts out for you, the fewer mistakes
that you can make before she forms an opinion of you that you're just
simply not the right guy for her and sticks you and friend-zone or even
ghosts you completely and you never hear from her again.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-cant-believe-im-
dating-her/14324

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Love Takes Time

“Haste makes waste, as the old saying goes. When we are impatient, try
to force things and generally are in a rush to make anything happen
quicker than it is, this almost always will bring undesired results. When
we display impatience with lovers who do not love us in the time frame
or in the ways that we want, we drive them away. When we become
impatient during a sales negotiation, we won’t get the best price that we
want. When we are impatient with other people, we cause them to not
want to be around us. The superior approach to all personal and
professional desires we want is to state our desires and goals, take
action and give other people and the universe the time and space to meet
our desires. The very nature of trying to force things is an indication
and statement to the universe that we do not feel worthy or deserving
of our heart's desires. People and the universe will then be forced to
agree, match, mirror and align with our beliefs and convictions.
Developing and practicing infinite patience with all matters of the heart
is a wise approach to life and getting what we want.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

This is so critical. I've been seeing, because I've always been kind of an
impatient person and I want everything now, typically, like most high
achievers, and when you’re taking action, it's like you want things to
happen, you're trying to force things to happen. But, obviously, when it
comes to women, you have to let that happen. Because love is allowing.

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And it's the same thing in a negotiation; if you come off as being needy
and desperate for a deal, instead of giving the other person the time and
space to wonder if they’re going to maybe lose you to another prospect,
or another company, or another person, you put them in a state of fear,
and that makes them work extra hard to convince you of why you
should be associated with them, or work with them, or to date them.

And, in business, this can be very costly. I’ll just give an example from
my current life. I do digital advertising campaigns on Facebook as well
as Google, and the way these algorithms work is that when you start an
ad campaign on Facebook, it takes about a week for the system to kind
of learn and test the times of the day and different people to show the
ad to. Then, by the end of the first week, it's kind of optimized who the
ideal people are to show it to, and then the week after that, then it figures
out the right schedule of when those people are online and they’re most
likely to respond to your offer. So, when you change something in your
ad campaigns, it takes a full two weeks to optimize that, and so, it's not
until the third week you start to see the results and what it's going to be
long-term.

Now, when it comes to some of the YouTube ads and Google ad

campaigns that I have going on, it takes about a week to learn, and the
same thing, it takes about the second week to really fully optimize the
campaign. If you get impatient, and you want results right now, and you
want to see if your offer is going to work, you just have to let it run,
because you can spend a lot of money really quickly, but if you ignore
the fact that the algorithms take one to two weeks to really optimize it,
you'll piss away a shit ton of money unnecessarily trying to get data and

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results, because you're ignoring the fact that the algorithm needs time
to learn. Because people are on the Internet different times a day—like
Monday is always the busiest day of the week as far as internet traffic
goes. And so, you might get a lot of great results the first day or two,
and then all of a sudden, it kind of tapers off or slows down. And what
you also see in the ad campaigns is when you just let it run, the first two
or three days, often, the results are terrible, but by the fourth or fifth
day, you start to see the results kind of settle down. And then, by the
end of seven days, you’re starting to see your daily results actually look
a lot better, especially than it did the first two or three days.

It's the same thing with women; if you're in a rush to make a girl like
you, fall in love with you, be in a relationship with you, and want to
marry you, you're not giving her the time to choose you, because you're
acting needy, you’re acting desperate. And so, when you act needy and
desperate, personally, you're going to chase those women right out your
life who would've loved to have had a relationship with you. And when
you apply that same approach in business, whether it's an ad campaign,
you're going to piss away a lot of money. If you're negotiating for a
salary and you’re desperate for a job, you’re going to end up taking a
job for less than what you want, or you’ll end up taking a job in a
company that's really not ideal, because you're desperate for that
paycheck. Patience really does pay. And like the quote says, hate does
make waste.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/love-takes-time/19899

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10 Years With Stupid Husband

“Fear is the greatest obstacle to overcoming challenges and reaching

your full potential. Fear tells you it won’t work out, you won’t be loved,
you’re not good enough, they won’t like you, they won’t hire you, you
don’t deserve to make more money, you’re not smart enough, you’ve
got to be realistic, life will never get any better, etc., etc. Attachments
to the way things are or the way things have always been is like a boat
anchor keeping you tied to limited ways of thinking and being that you
must let go of in order to follow your heart, so you can go from where
you are right now to where you want to be in the future. Sooner or later,
we all will run out of time and will breathe our last breath. You can
either die with a smile on your face for a life well lived, having reached
your full potential, or die with a frown on your face for a life full of
regrets and what-ifs for having played it safe and being too averse to
taking risks. Being mediocre is the result of being too scared to do
things that are outside of our comfort zone. Becoming what we dream
of is the result of doing things that scare us, despite our fears.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

As the old saying goes, “If you keep doing what you've always done,
you'll continue to get what you've always got.” Getting from where you
are to where you want to be in life requires stepping outside of your
comfort zone, stepping outside, beyond the safety of what you've
always known. The reality is, when you start moving towards the things

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you want in life, you don't know how you’re going to get there, what's
going to work, what's not going to work; all you’re really left with is
having something that's emotionally compelling and exciting to move
your life forward and take action with childlike optimism, that
eventually, with enough time or on a long enough timeframe,
eventually, things will start to turn and work out in your favor.
Remember, great things always take time. Big things have little
beginnings.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/10-years-with-stupid-
husband/30305

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Acting Too Serious Too Soon

“Being in a fearful and scarcity mindset when dating causes us to try

too hard, come off as needy and desperate, appear creepy and
controlling and will quickly ruin attraction and cause rejection. When
guys make the mistake of talking on the phone too much, instead of
talking in person on dates, are too afraid, timid or shy to initiate physical
touching and kissing, talk about their future together, gush about their
feelings, etc., this makes women feel like they are being rushed into a
relationship that is not of their choosing. It also makes women feel like
they are losing their freedom. Men should avoid living in the future or
talking about it on their dates and should simply focus on hanging out,
having fun and hooking up in the present moment. They should also
take measured steps by only using the phone to set dates once per week
until the women they are dating start calling and messaging them in-
between dates and simply make dates when they hear from women from
that point going forward.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is a mindset issue for the average guy, because the average guy is
all focused on trying to lock her down into a commitment. “What do I
need to do to get her, or to catch her, or to make her mine,” instead of
being selective, being somewhat skeptical, and just taking your time to
see what happens. Because if you remember, people can hide who they
are for about the first 90 days of a relationship, so they're trying to sell
you on who they want you to believe who they are.

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And after you've spent enough time around somebody, their real
personality—who they really are on their good days, their bad days,
their average days, their regular days—it comes out, and they get more
and more comfortable being themselves around you and showing you
who they really are. That's why you’ve got to take your time and not
rush the process. You’ve got let women come to you at their own pace.

And a good rule of thumb that will facilitate that is simply setting one
date per week. Because if you're like the average guy and you’re a busy
professional trying to build your business or your career, you’re
working out, you have an active social life, you spend time with your
friends and your family, you might only have one, two evenings a week
where you actually can go out on dates anyway or spend time with other
people just because you're so busy.

And so, you want to spend your time with people who highly value it.
And if you're a high-value person, then you're going to have lots of
choices, and lots of options and lots of people vying for your time—not
only personally, but professionally. And so, you don't want to spend
your time with people who waste it; you want to make sure they really
value it and treat you as such.

That's why it’s so much better, from the guy’s perspective, to simply
create a great opportunity for sex to happen and hang out, have fun, and
hook up, and keep it simple, and leave all the dating and relationship
stuff—the bonding and the connecting, the opening up to love and
receiving love, and dating and relationship labels—to the woman,
because until she's emotionally ready and she's feeling it, she's not

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going to start pursuing you more and getting to that place where she
wants you to be exclusive and be her boyfriend.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/acting-too-serious-too-
soon/24547

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 Choosing Wisely

Be A Priority, Not An Option

“If you love yourself, value yourself, respect yourself and see yourself
as a catch, you will never make a lover or potential lover a priority in
your life when you are only an option in theirs. It is demeaning and
disrespectful to yourself to tolerate not being valued by another. Always
look at what people do as a true indicator of how they really feel about
you, instead of accepting their words or flowery language at face value.
You deserve to be treasured and appreciated for the gift that you are,
but you must act in ways that demonstrate this, and walk away from
situations and people who do not treat you with the respect, appreciation
and love that you deserve.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Many guys do this when they’re dating. They’re trying to date a girl
that's stuck them in the friend-zone. And they want to get out of friend-
zone, but they keep sticking around, hoping it's going to get better, and
because he's basically acting like a little bitch, the woman starts to be
kind of bitchy and disrespectful towards him. And yet, he puts up with
it, because he’s seen so many movies and TV shows that tell him he’s
just got to put up with it, be extra nice, be a people pleaser, and
eventually, she'll think “Wow, what a great guy. I think we’re going to
settle down to get married and have a family together.”

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And of course, in the imaginary world of movies and the TV, that
works. In the real world, all that's going to happen is you're going to
end up becoming her doormat.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/be-a-priority-not-an-
option/16933

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Rebound Relationships

“It’s always best to date potential long-term relationship prospects who

are completely single and have been out of their previous long-term
relationships for many months. When you become involved with a new
lover who has just recently ended a long-term relationship or marriage,
you must understand that their feelings are going to be raw. Their
behavior will also often be unpredictable, indecisive and flaky. Because
they have not healed completely from their previous relationship, their
attraction for you can be very hot and cold. If you’re going to date
people who are on the rebound, it’s best to have other prospects and
make sure they have the freedom to come and go as they please.
Otherwise, they can quickly change their mind, and bounce you out of
their life unexpectedly. The bottom line, proceed with extreme caution
when dating people who are on the rebound, or you’re going to get
burned.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

People who tend to be insecure, especially because, I mean, most of my

clients are men anyway, and they oftentimes get involved with women
who just went through a divorce or a painful breakup, and the reality is,
women that come from really good families where they have a good
relationship with their mom and their dad and they're pretty happy
overall, if they’ve had a breakup, they’ll take the time to get their own
place, get re-established, spend time with their girlfriends, take time to
heal.

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Typically, if they spent several years together, the average person takes
about a year and a half before they really get over the pain of the
breakup and the loss of that person. But insecure people, who go from
being in a 10-year marriage, get divorced three weeks ago, and then
they’re already jumping back into something serious with other people
or they have multiple guys that they’re dating. The healthiest people are
going to take time to be single and get back to a place where they really
enjoy their life being single, and then they’re ready to actually start
dating and get back in the dating game.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/rebound-
relationships/18006

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Dating A Prostitute

“If you drink from a bottle labeled poison, date people who are toxic
and full of drama or spend your time with people who you know are
bad news, how can you ever blame another person for your life
circumstances sucking ass? When you knowingly and willingly fail to
exercise self-control and self-restraint when you know you should, you
open yourself up to manifest exactly what you fear and want to avoid.
It’s like jumping into a pool of hungry alligators in the middle of a
feeding frenzy hoping to have a refreshing swim; the odds aren’t good!”
~ Coach Corey Wayne

Occasionally, I'll get guys that are in kind of weird situations like this,
where they start dating a prostitute or they start dating a stripper, and
they start having all kinds of problems; they start trying to have a
normal, healthy monogamous relationship. Especially this particular
article, the guy's trying to have a relationship with a woman that he
started out as having a prostitute type of relationship. And then, she
feels something for him, and things move forward. But, at the end of
the day, she's a working girl. And then I do a phone session with him,
and he's upset that she's continuing to be a working girl, and he feels
like it has a chance of being a normal, healthy kind of relationship
because she's no longer charging him, but yet, she's still sleeping with
other guys for money.

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These guys are shocked when I lower the boom on them and tell them
exactly what's going on in their relationship. And other guys—going
back to just dating people that are toxic or having toxic people in their
life—whether they spend too much time with family members that are
toxic or hanging out with friends that are toxic and always try to
sandbag their success, you attract how you act, and there is an old
saying that you become like the five people who you spend most of
your time with. So, you’ve got to choose very wisely who you spend
your time with and interact with on a consistent basis, because the
quality of your life is going to be in direct proportion to the quality of
the people who you consistently spend your time with.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-a-
prostitute/13814

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Dating Insecure & Needy People

“It’s very difficult and challenging to date needy and insecure people.
Why? They tend to perpetually be in a fearful state. Their fear of loss
can be so overwhelming, that they often compensate for this by keeping
exes and backup lovers in the background. As long as they are happy
and their needs are being met, they will usually be loyal and exclusive.
However, the moment the future of their primary relationship is in
doubt, they will start lining up the exes and backup lovers to bounce to
if things don’t work out. Because they are fearful and believe things
probably won’t work out, they often will lie to and cheat on their
primary lover, even though they are still together. If you don’t want to
spend your life sleeping with one eye open, it’s best to only view and
interact with needy and insecure lovers in the context of: a friend with
benefits, sex playmate, fuck buddy, or open relationship.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

If you're looking for a happy, healthy, long-term relationship, you’ve

got to be objective with the person you're dating, that you're seeing or
the people that you are sleeping with. Because, if they don't have the
background of coming from a happy, healthy home with a good
relationship between their parents—where they talk things out, they
work things, out in a nice, calm, and loving manner, they have family
conferences when there's a problem, they’ll even stay up all night
discussing things until they resolve things—you're going struggle.

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If you date insecure women who didn't have a strong father figure
growing up—whether it was a father, or stepfather, or an uncle, or
grandfather, or a boyfriend of their mother—that was there to give them
and expose them to that strong, masculine presence and be a loyal
partner for their parent; if they grew up in households where there's lots
of lying, lots of cheating, lots of deviousness, and then as you’re getting
to know them, their history is full of lying and cheating—whether it
was them being cheated on or them cheating on by the other person—
and then you think that you're going to be the white knight and Captain
Save-a-Hoe and you're going to fix them, and solve all their problems,
and pay their bills off or hire them to work for you, and then you think
that you're going to have a good, happy, healthy relationship—you're
just deluding yourself.

You’ve got to look beyond the physical and look at how they are, what
they say, how they act and interact with you—in other words, what they
do, not so much what they say—as well as their history, because that
can be very telling on what type of prospect they should be. Somebody
just to practice with and date for a little while until you find a really
great prospect, or are they somebody that comes from a good
background and are potential long-term relationship material? Too
many people, because I see this over and over in my phone sessions,
get involved with women that are just hell on wheels, or they’re
narcissistic, or they're just messed up emotionally or insecure. But yet,
they think, with the information that’s in my book, How To Be A 3%
Man, that they’re going to be able to fix her or turn it around.

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The goal, by applying the things that are in my book, is it's going to
bring out the worst behavior in the worst women really fast, and it'll
bring out the best behavior in the best women really fast as well, so you
can make a fairly quick judgment decision on whether or not, or in what
way, you continue to interact with them going forward.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/dating-insecure-needy-
people/17919

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Prequalify Your Lovers

“People put more thought and research into buying a car than they do
into the people they date and have relationships with. Most of your
happiness or your misery is going to come from the people you date and
spend your time with. Everyone should have a list of standards and
character traits that are minimally acceptable to them in order to
properly prequalify who deserves and does not deserve to be in their
lives. This will ensure that you only attract and keep people in your life
who offer exactly what you are looking for, so you can fall in love with
who they really are, instead of erroneously falling in love with their
potential.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, I was doing a phone session with a guy yesterday who spent the
early part of his life, up until, say, his late 20s, in a very religious family
church environment, where no sex before marriage and those kinds of
beliefs were just part of his reality. And as he got into his early 30s, he
finally decided that he just no longer resonated with the teachings of the
church and his family. And then he went off on his own, and he finally
lost his virginity, had several relationships. And, you know, I was doing
a phone session with him because of the woman that he was involved
with. And the interesting thing is that this woman is great, has so many
awesome characteristics; the only downside is that every month or two
she tends to drink too much and goes on a bender for two or three days,

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just because of some things that have happened in her childhood, and
that's kind of how she deals with it.

Addictions typically come from a failure to feel. And so, when things
build up in her and she can't take it anymore, the way she deals with it
and escapes from her life is to use alcohol. And obviously, when this
happens, he ends up having to babysit her and she causes scenes and is
just a real problem to the point where he sometimes feels like he's
walking on eggshells and is trying to regulate her behavior. She's got so
much potential, but he’s also ignoring the fact that she wants to move
in and eventually wants to have kids, but because of her inability to
control herself when she's drinking, for the past several years, he's been
making excuses for her.

And so, his friends and his family all, obviously, have been pointing
this out to him, but because he’s feeling like, at this point, you know,
he’s in his late 40s, you know, he’s starting to feel like “I’ve got to settle
down. You know, I'm too old. At some point, I've got to have a family.”
And so, what's happening is, now he’s starting to make excuses for her,
but the fact is, internally, it's torn him all up inside because he loves her.
He loves everything about her, except this drinking issue. And the thing
I pointed out to him is that she may never change, she may never get
over it. At the end of the day, you're looking for somebody that’s got
her shit together—that's a happy, whole, complete, and balanced
person. And when she over-drinks, she becomes totally irresponsible.
And if he’s thinking about having children, then what happens when
you guys have got kids and she goes off on a bender for two or three

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days? Is that something you really want to deal with? And internally,
he just really wasn't.

And what I was able to do was to get him to see the reality of his
situation, to gently encourage her, and love her, and support her to seek
some professional help, but also with the understanding that people who
have drug, alcohol, or addiction problems, you can't help them until
they recognize that they need help, and they have problems. But in her
mind, she thinks it's fine, it's something that just occasionally happens.
Even though she makes six figures in her work, the reality is, after
several years together, she still has not been able to moderate her
behavior.

In that situation, you have to look at what she's doing, not what she's
saying. And the reality is that he was projecting his fantasy of what he
wanted onto her and ignoring the reality that she wasn't matching his
expectations; and she might never. And so, he’s going to have to, at
some point in the future, confront her about it and give her the choice.
And if she's unable to get her drinking under control, obviously, the
only thing he’s going to be able to do—unless he wants to put up with
that for the rest of his life and have it potentially get worse—is to leave
her and go find somebody else. Just because he didn't like the idea of
going out and being single again.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/prequalify-your-
lovers/19236

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Suddenly, She Became Interested In Me Again!

“By focusing on becoming a person of high value, who loves their life
and their life’s work, you will give off the vibe that other potential high
value lovers also are giving off. By becoming the type of person that
you want to attract, you will automatically attract like-minded lovers
who share the same goals and values effortlessly. Meeting the right
person is a side effect of becoming the best version of you. Like attracts
like. It’s a universal law.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

High-value people want to spend their time with other high-value

people. They don't want to hang out with energy vampires—people that
are always negative, people that always want something from them,
people that only call when they want something from them. They’re
generous people, but they also expect those other people to reciprocate
that generosity. The women they date, they also want to see
reciprocation.

They're looking for enthusiasm as well. They don't want to go on a date

with a girl that’s just kind of like, “Eh, yeah, maybe I'll go out with you.
Eh, I think I can make time.” They want a woman that’s like, “Hell
yeah, I’d love to go out with you! That's great, I'm so glad you asked!”
Think about it, it's common sense. Don't you want to spend your time
with somebody that really wants to be there? And if you’ve got people
in your life that don't really want to be there, and they kind of

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communicate that and make you feel that, go find other people that do.
Go hang out by yourself and have a good time. Be your own best
company and meet new people that way.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/suddenly-she-became-
interested-in-me-again/28536

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Relationships That Come from Cheating

“Statistics show that relationships that begin based upon cheating will
usually end up with one or both people cheating from the new
relationship on each other. Why? People who are disloyal, who are
deceptive, and who don’t value a commitment or the sanctity of a
relationship don’t see anything wrong with, and feel no remorse for
cheating when they are unhappy. Therefore, if you become involved
with someone who is cheating on someone else with you, they will stay
loyal only provided they are happy and their needs are continually met.
However, once they become unhappy, fearful of the future, or their
needs aren’t met, they most often will choose to get their needs fulfilled
by someone outside of your relationship. If you think you are going to
be different, and they won’t cheat on you because you are special or
think you’ll be different, then you are deluding yourself and ignoring
reality. If you want to feel safe and secure in your relationship, then
never date a cheater and only date people who are single and available,
and who place a high value on loyalty, commitment, and
communication.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is why it's so important when you're dating, especially in the initial
stages, that if the other person starts talking about their relationships
and how they behaved in the past, you always want to find out about
their, especially with women, you want to find out about their
relationships with their father and their mother and find out what the

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relationship between the father and mother is. You can even come out
and say, “Was there any infidelity or cheating going on in your family,
or have you ever experienced that personally?” because this can be very
revealing about their level of integrity.

And if you're on a date with somebody who just simply has a string of
bad relationships and people that either cheated on them or they
cheated, and then you hear their explanations about why they cheated—
“Well, I was really unhappy”—to them, it's justified. And so, therefore,
if they behave this way, because I've had so many phone sessions with
guys who were cheating on women that they're dating, and it's like,
they're convinced that everybody is this way. And when I tell them that
people are not all like this, it's like, they don't believe me.

And so, when you're dealing with somebody that's convinced that this
is just human nature and the way people are, it's best not to get involved
with them romantically or even to have friendships with those kinds of
people. Because if you become friends with the guy who cheats on all
the women that he dates and has no integrity, more than likely what's
going to happen is, over the course of your relationship, when you're
not around, he's going to start hitting on your girl. And that's the last
thing you want. The last thing you want is somebody who has a lack of
integrity in your inner circle trying to fuck your girl.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/relationships-that-
come-from-cheating/17415

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Attraction: An Emotional Affair

“Love at first sight is a perfect balance between mutual physical

attraction, chemistry and a soulful connection. It is the manifestation of
divine love expressed in two beings whose souls are aligned and meant
to be together. There are no accidents in the universe. Everything
happens on purpose to achieve the will of the divine through the
experience of two souls who are drawn together and ready for one
another. The duration of the soulful communion is directly proportional
to their ability to love and accept themselves unconditionally, love
without attachment and expectation, and to live and act from their
hearts. The more you try to hold onto something in life and control it,
the quicker it will dissolve. Love is an act of giving, not possessing or
controlling.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Love is allowing. At the end of the day, it boils down to “Are we

allowing those who wish to love us and those who desire us to actually
do that?” If we believe we’re worthy and deserving of love, we will
allow them to love us. But deep down, if we don't think we're worthy,
we're going to speak in ways, and we’re going to act in ways, and we’re
going to give off a vibration that communicates we’re not worthy. In
other words, we simply won't allow them to love us. We'll always be
thinking in the back of our minds, “It's not going to last,” “They don't
really believe that,” “They're just saying that to make me feel good,”

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“There's no way she would want to actually stick around and date a guy
like me,” “There's no way that company would hire me,” etc., etc.

It all boils down to our self-perception. If we have a positive,

empowering, loving self-perception, when people show up and want to
love us, our attitude will be like, “Well, of course. Of course she likes
me, because I’m fucking awesome like that,” versus always thinking
negatively. Because, if we are constantly communicating and giving off
a vibe that we’re not worthy, eventually, she's going to go, “You know
what, you're right. You don't deserve me,” and then she's going to lose
interest, and she's going to move away from you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/attraction-an-
emotional-affair/14463

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Is She Relationship Material?

“Fear of loss, unworthiness, rejection, inadequateness and that you

simply don’t measure up or aren’t good enough is like a virus of certain
self-sabotage and failure. When we fear an undesired outcome, our
natural human instinct is to take action to gain some certainty and peace
of mind. In relationships, this can cause both men and women who are
struggling with fears of not being good enough to over-pursue, act
creepy, stalkerish, needy, weak and in ways that literally scare and drive
the other person away. The best way to counter this mentally is to focus
on accepting the possibility that you may lose them forever, despite
your best efforts, and be okay with it when you feel the urge to do
something or lock them down to a commitment. Less really is more
when you are in a fearful state. Love in such a way that the person you
love will always feel free to come and go, and to choose you, or not
choose you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is a big part of what I see in a lot of phone sessions with guys that
are trying to re-attract somebody that they turned off. It's that because
deep down they don't feel they're good enough, and so what happens is
they call too much, they text too much. And a lot of guys that really
struggle with my work is because they really haven't immersed
themselves into it. Because, as I say in How To Be A 3% Man, is I tell
people to read the book 10 to 15 times. That's the only way you’re really
going to get to know it backward and forwards. It gives you a new

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mindset, a new way of thinking; it's not just a bunch of techniques and
strategies that are set in stone. It's like a philosophy, it helps you to
understand and observe what the woman is doing in relation to you.

And so, what a lot of guys do, because they're lazy and half-assed, and
plus we live in a society that is driven by instant gratification, is they’re
trying to cherry-pick the right tip, the right info, the right line out of my
YouTube videos. And it can get some attainable success for them, but
the success is not sustainable. And so, what's funny is, I talk to these
guys and they start to say, “Hey, but I didn't over pursue,” and then they
start telling me the story, and I'm able to point out where they are
actually over pursuing and doing things that make them come off as
being weak and needy.

And there’s other instances where they were doing everything right, and
the girl was moving towards them, and becoming more aggressive, and
wanting to spend more time with them, and then I point those behaviors
out that they were displaying and what their actions were when she was
behaving this way. And then I also point out what they were doing
wrong that caused her to be pushed away, and then to really help them
connect the dots, because we all tend to bullshit each other, or we all
tend to bullshit ourselves. And what happens is guys often will do this,
because again, deep down, these are things that they learned in
childhood—these self-perceptions, these mindsets, this story that they
tell themselves about what they're capable of.

And so, it's always best to let women come to you at their pace, but
you’ve got to learn the fundamentals and the things that are in my book,
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How To Be A 3% Man, if this is an area that you struggle with, so you
can come out and interact with the world in a way that’s more balanced
and more natural, the way kids would do, men and women do, that grow
up in healthy families, where they got enough hugs, they got enough “I
Love Yous,” they got enough strokes and affection as children, and they
had a good support system of people that cause the children to really
believe in themselves. But the reality is, most people just don't grow up
in those kinds of environments, and so books like mine can help fill in
that knowledge gap and give some fundamentals, some skills, some
mindsets, to help overcome this neediness and heal some of these child
wounds that, you know, a lot of us have, myself included. So, we act
natural and we act attractive, and we get the women that we want and
who want us to actually want us more and want to be closer to us over
time.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/is-she-relationship-
material/16990

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Being the Rebound Lover

“If you get involved with someone romantically who is on the rebound,
the most important thing you must do is to make sure you maintain their
sense of freedom. In most cases, their feelings and emotions will be
raw, and they will be hot for you one minute, and then indecisive about
you the next. They will have a stronger emotional bond with their ex
because of the time they have spent together. If you try to force them to
choose, they almost always will choose their ex over you. But if you
have a take it or leave it kind of attitude and are simply grateful for your
time together, you will give yourself the best possible chance that they
eventually choose you. The only thing you can do is to be their best
option, have fun and let them go back to their ex if they want, but leave
the door open for them to return if things don’t work out with their ex.
If it did not work the first time around with their ex, it most likely will
not work the second time around.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is a pretty common topic that I see with men and women that I do
phone sessions with, is they got involved with somebody who just had
a breakup. And what happens is, especially if it's a woman, usually—
because women 70-80% of the time are the ones that end the
relationship—their ex is usually trying to get them back. And so, in that
case—especially if it's only been a few weeks or a few months since
that relationship ended—when the ex doesn't find anybody better, they
start to become more desperate and they start to try harder. And

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especially if they’ve been together for many years, they’re trying harder
to get them back.

And what's going to happen, now the woman's in a situation of

abundance and, therefore, she's got to make a choice on who the most
dominant guy is. And whoever displays the most characteristics of
dominance is who she's going to feel more attraction to. And if you're
mysterious, if you're the guy that she still is not sure about and she's
trying to catch, and there is a sense that you have plenty of other options
and choices in your life and you’re not going to wait around for her, and
you’re continuing to move towards what you want and keep a space
open in your life for somebody that's ready, willing, able, and open to
having a relationship.

Because the reality is, somebody that just got out of a relationship really
hasn't taken the time to heal and get back to a place where they really
enjoy their time alone. And so, you want to create the conditions where
they’re having to pursue you and trying to get your attention. Whereas
the average guy that doesn't know any better is calling more, texting
more, because he's trying to prove himself that he's the better guy and
she should choose him over the ex. Well, in that situation, you put
pressure on her and try to force her into a relationship—she's just simply
going to bounce back to the other guy, because she has more time in
with him and has a stronger emotional bond. And in these cases, it's
always better to let the woman do most, if not all, of the calling, texting,
and pursuing once she starts reaching out to you, like I talk about in my
first book, How To Be A 3% Man.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/being-the-rebound-
lover/16808

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Am I Going To Like Her?

“A superior man knows he is a catch and does not automatically assume

a woman is great girlfriend material just because she is beautiful and
charming. Most guys are approval seeking and desperate when they
start dating new women and are usually wondering, “Is she going to
like me?” instead of, “Am I going to like her?” Men who have choices
with women are trying to determine if new women they just met are
good for them, in the same way most women are focused on trying to
determine if the new men they just met are good for them. Neediness,
desperation and impatience lead to bad relationship choices for both
men and women. Take your time, maintain your emotional self-control
and choose wisely based upon consistent good behavior, instead of only
paying attention to how sexy and desirable someone is.” ~Coach Corey
Wayne

It's really important to look at what people do, not what they say. You
want a woman, if you're in the dating world, you want a woman who's
excited and enthusiastic about spending time with you. If she's just like,
“Eh,” and she couldn't care one way or another, do you really want to
spend time with a woman who really doesn't care, who's really not that
interested? If you do, you’re going to have to make a lot more effort
and put in a lot more energy to maintaining a conversation, because she
lacks emotional intensity and enthusiasm to make the effort to seek your
attention and validation. She's on probation too, she has to make a

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mutual effort. It takes two people who want to be together in order for
a relationship to even be a possibility.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/am-i-going-to-like-
her/25158

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She Blocked Me

“Dating is kind of like test driving a car you have potential interest in
purchasing. When it comes to car shopping, a car’s beauty and potential
should never hypnotize you, or you’ll risk paying too much or getting
a bad deal. The same applies when it comes to dating someone new.
You should entertain multiple offers and options, take your time when
making a choice, do your due diligence to ensure your dream lover is
just as great on the inside as they look on the outside, and only after test
driving on multiple occasions (dates) do you make your decisions based
upon their actions and not their words. Like great friends, truly
exceptional lovers are rare and worth the wait, but once you meet one
who qualifies, you’ll feel it in your heart and see it in their actions.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

Our society, being one of instant gratification—I think it was Charles

Bukowski that said that “If you're in a relationship, it's over for you.
And if you're single, there's something wrong with you.” So, it’s kind
of interesting, all of your friends and family that are in relationships, of
course they're going to want you to hurry up and get into a new
relationship, because that helps validate their life choices. And if you’ve
got friends that are single and you're in a relationship, especially if
you're in one that you're not happy with, obviously, they're going to
think being single is the right thing for you and encourage you to do
that.

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It's so important that your relationship choices, how you live your life,
whether you get married or not, or you just date have long-term
girlfriends, or you just like dating and having fun and nothing really
serious—you have to do what makes you happy and what feels right for
you, because everybody is different. What works for me and what
makes me happy might totally irritate you and drive you up a wall, and
vice versa. The important thing is that you live your truth and your life
on your terms, and you don't date and have relationships because of
family, friends, your parents, or your peer group, or even society are
pressuring you to conform and be a certain way.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/she-blocked-me/34458

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From Hot Sex To Flakey Behavior

“If you are going to become romantically involved with women who
are in the middle of a divorce, separated from their husbands or who are
in the process of ending their relationship, it is highly likely that you
will get jerked around, experience flakey, hot and cold behavior, and
dating them will be anything but easy and effortless. If you are looking
for a new relationship, it is smarter and makes way more sense to date
women who are already single and ready to mingle. Women in these
transitory relationship situations often go back and forth between
ending the old relationship and trying to work it out. When they go
back, they blow you off, often with no explanation or communication.
When they try to come back after they have blown you off, they are all
apologies and full of promises that things will be different this time
around. Smart men know better.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is a pretty common theme that I often see in my phone sessions

with guys that are struggling with women they really like and just
started dating, but they're getting a lot of flaky back-and-forth kind of
behavior. They're dating a woman who may have spent several years
with a particular guy, and they only spent a month or two being single
before they came along. And since women tend to do the dumping 75-
80% of the time, there is a high likelihood that the ex-boyfriend or ex-
husband, whoever the guy may be, is still trying to get back into the
picture.

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If you're dating these women, and especially if you start making
mistakes that make you look unattractive, what happens is they start
backing away from you and then start spending time with the ex. And
then as things progress and get better with the ex, because he's
obviously going to be on his best behavior—because he's trying to win
her back, and he stopped doing, a lot of times, all the things that had
turned her off and caused her to lose attraction—and the more you
pursue women in these situations, the more you literally drive these
women back into these guys’ arms. And so, that's why it's so important
if you're dating these kinds of women that just got out of a relationship
and really haven't taken any time to heal, and get their lives back in
order, and kind of get back to normal and enjoy being single again, what
that typically shows or displays is that they’re often insecure, and they
need the attention and validation of men to feel good about themselves.

So, just keep in mind, if you're going to date women that are in these
kinds of situations or that have had a recent breakup and they're just
ready to jump back into dating other guys without any time to heal,
there's a good chance they may be needy, insecure, you'll experience
flaky behavior, and it will bounce back and forth between you, the ex-
boyfriend, and more than likely, two or three other male orbiters that
are waiting in the background that are stuck in friend-zone, but they’re
trying to get their chance.

If you’ve got plenty of choices and plenty of options, you’re just not
going to mess around with this BS. Because you want a woman, if
you're looking for a long-term relationship, you want a woman that has

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integrity and has a good, healthy self-esteem, not a girl that needs to
have a guy and needs lots of male attention and validation.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/from-hot-sex-to-
flakey-behavior/23440

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I Recently Met “The One”

“Experience and failure are life’s best teachers. The more things you
try in life, the more you will fail. Becoming okay with failure is
essential to eventually becoming a success through your experiences.
There is no shortcut to success. When it comes to dating, many people
project their ideal fantasy onto potential new lovers, while ignoring the
reality of what they are really like. This leads to unhealthy attachments
and becoming stuck on people who don’t, won’t or can’t reciprocate
interest. This literally takes them out of circulation, stops their learning
and forward progress, and actually prevents them from meeting the
right person for them, since they are no longer open to or looking for
someone who actually meets their needs. In order to meet the right
person, you must be available, ready, happy, open to it happening,
comfortable in your own skin and have space in your life for someone
to fill.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

It's really hard for guys that are single and searching, because most of
the people we meet, we’re just not going to really jive with them on a
level that we need to in order to want to stay in the relationship and for
things to prosper long-term. And so, when somebody comes along
where it just seems kind of easy and effortless, and we really have been
single for a long time, and we really, really, really want a relationship,
we want to have our search be over, what happens is we start projecting
that fantasy because we’re tired of being single, and then we allow

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ourselves to get caught up in the emotions of the moment and how we
feel about that person, and then we lose all objectivity. And then, when
that happens, you stop prospecting.

And somebody might have a lot of the qualities that you like, but she
doesn't have all the qualities that you like. And if you start trying to talk
yourself into liking them, because the reality is, you can't make your
heart feel something it doesn't feel—it either feels it, or it doesn't feel
it. And if you're not feeling it or if you start feeling it and you start
seeing those red flags, that's why, especially if you're new to the stuff
that I talk about in my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, you’ve got to
apply the stuff until you can get really good, and you’ve got to resist
the urge to become attached to any one person that you're dating.

Because, you never know; if you get fixated on somebody that is not
ideal for you, the perfect person might've only been a month or two
away or maybe a week away to meet them, but now that you're not open
to them, because you're fixated on somebody that is not ideal for you,
that interaction, that meeting, it never happens because you're no longer
putting out that vibe and holding that space open. You’ve, in essence,
closed that space and, therefore, closed yourself off from any other
possibilities. And you can miss out on a really great opportunity,
because you started hanging out with somebody that was almost good
enough for you. In the long run, you're never going to be happy when
you settle for somebody that's less than what you really want.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-recently-met-the-
one/22737

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Projecting Your Dating Fantasy

“All men and women have an ideal of what they think the perfect lover
or person to have a great relationship with is like. As we date, we often
project this fantasy onto a person we just met, but yet do not know,
because our feelings and emotions are so strong. Our fantasy can blind
us to the reality of their true nature. In order to protect our hearts, we
must always remain objective and see new lovers as they really are by
focusing on what they do, and not so much what they say. It is also
essential to be a detective and listen to them as they describe their
previous relationships and lovers for clues as to how they really operate
in relationships. When you start dating someone, and they never have
any good or healthy previous dating or relationship experience, that
should be a major red flag. In order to get what you want in your
romantic life you must be willing to walk away from lovers whose
present reality does not match your fantasy or ideal. Otherwise, you’re
setting yourself up for tremendous unnecessary heartbreak and
suffering.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

As I’ve said before, people can hide who they are for the first 90 days
of a relationship. We’re all putting our best foot forward. We’re all
trying to sell the best version of ourselves or who we aspire to be to the
other person. But after about 90 days and you spend a lot of time with
that person, what happens is their character flaws, their faults, they
really start to come out because they can no longer hide it anymore.

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That's why it's so important, especially in the first 90 days of dating,
that you remain objective and you don't just get carried away with all
of your emotions. Because once you do and you let yourself go into La-
La Land, and then six months later you find out that this person has
basically cheated on everybody they've ever been with, and you’re in
love and you think, “I'm a great guy, they would never do that to me,”
that's delusional and unrealistic.

And I see this a lot in phone sessions I do with guys that are dating a
woman that they're having problems with. She's talking to other guys,
she keeps lots of male orbiters in her life, she's always giving out her
phone number, and she's always seeking and getting attention and
validation from other men. And typically, women that had a bad or
nonexistent relationship with their fathers tend to behave this way.
That's why it's a major red flag to look out for. And when you're on your
first couple of dates and a woman starts talking about different
relationships that she's had, let her talk, and she'll tell you everything
that you need to know to help you make a good and informed choice
about whether or not she's a good catch for you.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/projecting-your-dating-
fantasy/17937

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 Effortless Relationships

Women Who Make It Easy

“A man’s real value and attractiveness to women is found in his

dangerous masculinity, being congruent with his purpose and mission
in life and being unapologetic and proud of who he is, no matter what
his financial situation may be. A man who is comfortable with himself,
bold, decisive, who takes risks without fear or hesitation and who is lit
up on the inside for his own reasons, can easily make a woman feel safe
and comfortable enough to cause her to willingly and enthusiastically
submit to him sexually, so he can have his way with her.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

Women like dangerous masculinity. It's being willing to take risks,

being unafraid of failure. As a matter fact, it's looking forward to
failure, and being childlike with the results that you get, because you're
excited about what you could potentially learn. In other words, you’re
not deterred by failure, you're excited about it, just like Thomas Edison
was when he was trying to figure out how to make the lightbulb work;
he didn’t get discouraged by all of his thousands and thousands of
failures. He knew that each failure caused him to be closer and closer
to finally succeeding. What a mindset. What would you do if you knew
you couldn't fail? Think about it.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/women-who-make-it-
easy/21523

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A Real Macho Man

“Great women can make a great man even better. Women have the
wonderful ability to build a man up and make him feel like a king, or to
totally emasculate and bring him back down to earth when he gets a
little too full of himself. When a man is happy, successful and fulfilled
in his personal relationships, he feels a natural tendency to expand, take
on more risks, explore new career and business opportunities, and to
grow beyond his comfort zone. Men should only date women who are
supportive of their purpose, positive and who cheer for their success.
Women who are negative, unsupportive, selfish, narcissistic and
critical, should be encouraged to become an energy vampire to someone
else.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you're dating a woman and she doesn't support what you do, if she
doesn't help nurture you, and be your greatest cheerleader, and be
excited and root for you and your success, and even when things aren't
going well for you, have a positive word of encouragement, you are
with the wrong woman. The last thing a man needs is a woman who
will fill his head with doubt and uncertainty and cause him to not
believe in himself. These women are toxic and will rob a man of his
ability to achieve his dreams. Some women are just toxic and just not
good long-term relationship partners. Find a girl that loves you, that
celebrates you, that admires what you do for a living, and wants to
contribute in any way that she can to support, love, and nurture you.

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And anybody that doesn't, like the quote says, let them go fuck up some
other dude's life who doesn't know any better.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/a-real-macho-
man/22077

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Quality Time Vs. Neediness

“Many people consciously and unconsciously let their loneliness and

desire for companionship interfere with their ability to act natural and
balanced when they are dating or in a relationship. This often causes
them to become controlling, needy, clingy and smothering. This will
then cause the person who they are romantically involved with to back
away, because they feel like they are losing their freedom, and often
themselves. People who don’t know any better then think that they have
to do something to cause or force the other person to want to spend
more time with them. This will predictability and permanently lead to
the end of their love affair. In all relationships, you must give the other
person the time and space to reciprocate interest, make a mutual effort
and the freedom to choose.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you doubt that things can work out for you—if you don't think you're
good-looking enough, if you don't think that hot, smoke show of a girl
that you've been dating recently will deep down, eventually, fall head
over heels in love with you or feel the same intense feelings that you're
already feeling—you will tend to fall under what I call “the illusion of
action.” Because us guys, we’re driven to make things happen, we’re
driven to take action. And women need time and space away from you
to wonder about you, to think about you, to contemplate about you, to
talk to their friends, their family, their girlfriends, to share what's going
on in your relationship, what happens on your dates, what it was like

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making love to you, what you did on your weekends, what you did on
your trips.

And a guy that doesn't believe, deep down, that he deserves to have her
is going to be constantly seeking her attention and validation and calling
and texting her, because he’s trying to find out if she is still as interested
in him as she was a few days before. Especially after they spent two or
three days together, and then when she leaves after those two or three
days together, he can tell that she seems less interested, that there’s less
enthusiasm there on her part for him. And then, he interprets this as
thinking there's something wrong with him, because that's what he
believes about himself. So, he calls her and he texts her more, not
because he's trying to make her feel good or let her know that he cares;
he's trying to find out where he stands. The more he does this, the more
she's going to pick up on it and start to back away and become unsure,
because she can sense he is unsure. It's always better if a woman thinks
that she likes you more than you like her.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/quality-time-vs-
neediness/22643

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Women Can Spot Game Playing

“Men should seek out and date women who, at a minimum, have these
rare but healthy characteristics and qualities: 1) she is flexible, easy
going and has a good attitude, 2) she places a high value on loyalty,
honesty and communication, 3) she is affectionate and giving, 4) she is
patient, kind and not easily offended, 5) she is balanced, passionate
about her career/business and has a drama-free life, 6) she is happy,
optimistic, has a healthy self-esteem and builds people up. Men who
date women that lack these six baseline minimum character traits and
qualities are asking for unnecessary drama, frustration, heartache and
suffering.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

These characteristics are absolutely essential, especially if you're

looking to have good, healthy, long-term relationships that will last
decade in and decade out. One of my dearest friends has what I consider
to be a pretty good relationship with his wife, and they’ve got great,
amazing kids that are respectful, and kind, and well behaved, and all of
them are driven, and focused, and motivated for the careers that they
are endeavoring to become great at in their life.

She's definitely patient, she's definitely kind, meaning my buddy's wife.

She's balanced, she's passionate about and she's very successful in her
own career, her husband is very successful. She's happy, she's
optimistic, she's always looking for a reason to crack a joke or find

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something to laugh at. Her kids are the same way; very charming, very
good storytellers, always laughing, always looking to have fun, easy-
going, easy to be around with, positive, upbeat, flexible, easy-going,
great attitude. They're all loyal, honest, and you always know where
you stand with them. These are great characteristics to look for, but also
to demonstrate in yourself. Because like attracts like; you are who you
associate with. The vibe that you put out into the universe is exactly
what you’re going to draw more of to you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/women-can-spot-
game-playing/21432

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How to Make Women Chase You

“Human beings tend to more highly value what they have to work for,
versus that which is given freely and abundantly. Scarcity creates value.
Being different, mysterious, self-assured and willing to take risks
makes you stand out amongst the crowd of average Joes. When it comes
to dating, attraction and seduction, women will work harder for and
chase men who are mysterious, charming, unpredictable and fun loving.
Men who exhibit these qualities are coveted, chased, cherished and
competed for by women who normally never act this way towards
regular average guys.”

If you're a top-tier man, then you're going to have the top-tier women
trying to land you. Think about it from this perspective: women spend
all that time doing her hair, doing their nails, putting the makeup on,
trying on three or four outfits before they ever leave the house, trying
on a bunch of different pairs of shoes. If you go to a place to shop with
her and she's looking at different clothes to buy, she might try on ten or
twelve things and yet only buy two or three, or maybe four of them.
Everything a woman does—the tight-fitting clothes, showing skin,
cleavage—all of these things are to get a man's attention.

Now, why would a woman have to seek a man's attention? Why would
a beautiful woman need to seek men's attention and validation? Well,
men who are busy, who are successful, who are able to create their life

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and lifestyle that's of their choosing are busy focused on their mission
and purpose. And women go about getting these men distracted, so the
men start to pay attention to and notice them, and get caught up in the
intoxication of her beauty, her skin, her perfume, so she could draw him
into her world, so they get closer and closer until, ultimately, he ends
up inside of her, gets her pregnant, they have babies together, and live
happily ever after.

If women didn't do all these things, men would just strictly focus on
their mission and their purpose in life. If you look at the movies from
40, 50, 60, 70 years ago, that's what all the women were doing; they
were trying to attract the best men, so they could have a relationship,
get married, and have babies together. And whether they agree with it
or not, women instinctively, naturally do this.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/how-to-make-women-
chase-you/34942

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Sex Before Marriage

“Many men become failures and experience almost constant rejection

when trying to seduce their wives or long-term girlfriends, because they
become totally focused on getting laid, instead of giving, loving,
listening, communicating and courting their women properly. When a
man becomes focused on getting laid instead of opening up his woman
by asking questions, being sincerely interested, caring, creating
romantic and fun dates, and being a good listener, she does not feel
heard or understood. When a woman does not feel heard and
understood, her legs close. When she does, her legs open and seducing
her is easy, effortless, fun, romantic, passionate, magical and
memorable.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Well, as the quote states, when a woman feels heard and understood,
her legs open, and when she doesn't, her legs close. As the old saying
goes, “Men tend to fall in love through their eyes, and women through
their ears.” A woman wants you to be her rock; her personal source of
strength, compassion, caring. Because if you love her, you’re going to
want to take the time to know what her deepest, most innermost
thoughts are, so you can love her in a way that she feels supported, and
heard, and understood. Most guys are focused on just trying to get laid
and trying to force it, but if you open a woman up, she's going to feel
closer to you than she feels to any other human being on the planet. And
when this happens, she wants to be closer to you physically as well.

523
But if you don't take the time to open her up and communicate with her
properly and to seduce her in a way that takes your time, like I’ve talked
about before, you're going slightly slower than she wants to go. And as
you apply the things are in my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, and
you notice her body language, her physiology—because when a woman
is feeling really attracted she's going to be playing with her hair, she's
going to physically move closer to you to the point where she's actually
touching and bumping into you—and in a way, this is actually her
pursuing you; she's chasing your attention and your validation, because
you've opened her up properly and, therefore, she opens up or feels
opened up to receive you. And her bumping into you, or touching you,
or putting her hands on you, or getting extra close to you is her way of
signaling that she's ready for more physical closeness and intimacy.
And then, you can just slowly reciprocate.

And if you encounter resistance, like I talk about the book, you’re going
to take two steps back, spend some more time talking, getting her
revved up, opening her up for a few more minutes, and then you take
another run at her physically, and you slowly wear down her barriers
and her resistance. In other words, it communicates that you can do
without the sex and that you recognize, intuitively, that she's not ready
to be seduced yet. Because women get turned on slowly. And so, by
taking two steps forward and then one step back when you encounter
resistance, you can take your time and watch her slowly open up to you,
so you can take her and have your way with her.

And then, once you understand this art by practicing it, you never ever
have to worry about getting rejected for sex. Because it's a process, and

524
it's the same process over and over. And the closer you are to one
another, and the more often you guys have sex, the less the barriers are
in between you, and then it's easy to get a quickie when you're turned
on, because she’s so physically open to you, because she trusts you
completely, she feels safe and comfortable, and you've taken the time
to open her up.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/sex-before-
marriage/23669

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Attachments To Sex Vs. Authentic Giving

“Sex and intimacy are a direct result of authentic giving and having fun
with your relationship partner and lover. Women can tell when a man
is giving to them as an authentic gift from his heart. They can also tell
when a guy is doing or saying things as a bribe for sex and a
relationship. Authenticity and giving without attachments to any
outcome or result will open her heart… and eventually her legs.
Scheming, ass-kissy compliments, gifts, expensive dates or dinners,
agreeing with things you don’t agree with, etc., will close her heart and
cause her to withdraw. Men who are successful with women know that
dating is supposed to be having mutual fun together no matter what they
are doing. It involves great conversation, being a great listener, and
being sincerely, authentically interested and inquisitive about things
that matter to her. Sex and intimacy are like the dessert at the end of a
great meal or like the grand finale at a firework show. Seduction is the
result of a proper courtship process, not an event.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

Most guys just want to have sex; they want to get right to it and start
bumping uglies and beating up her pelvis. The reality is, in order for
that to happen, it's at the end of a process. If you care about a woman,
if you enjoy being with her, if you enjoy her company, you enjoy
listening to her, you enjoy the sound of her voice, maybe you enjoy it
so much that you would love to sleep on a bed made of her voice. The

526
reality is, if she's an absolute smoke show, she's heard that from enough
guys to know that she's hot, and you telling her how much you really,
really, really, really, super-duper like her is not going to have any effect
on her attraction towards you.

If you're bringing mutual value to the table—you love who you are, you
value yourself—you’re going to act and behave in a way that's not going
to be kissing her ass, trying to buy gifts for her. Because guys that do
that—they buy chocolates, they buy gifts, they take her on these
ridiculous, grand gesture type of dates where they spend a shit-ton of
money—they’re trying to impress her, because deep down inside, they
don't believe that they bring enough to the table just to hang out with
her as a human being and have her enjoy their company.

Gorgeous women want to just be treated like a normal human being, so

act like an equal, act like you deserve to be there. Even also kind of
coming from the perspective of, “Hmm, I wonder, does she really
deserve to be there? Is she a good match for me? Is she a good catch?
Is this the kind of woman that I should continue dating, or not? I need
more evidence, I need more data, I need more time before I can get to
that place and make a decision.”

And so, in the seduction process, as you take time to talk to her and you
let her do 70-80% of the talking, like I talk about in How To Be A 3%
Man, then she starts to feel like, “Wow, this guy actually treats me like
a human being. He acts like he actually cares about who I am.” She
knows lots of guys are throwing their dicks at her and wanting to have
sex with her, but she wants to hang out with somebody because they
527
want to be with her, not just because she's beautiful and has a great
body.

Because the reality is, over time, her looks are going to fade. And if
you're just there because of her physical body, she wants to know that
you're there because you genuinely, sincerely enjoy being with her.
Because if you can have fun with her as a human being, then over time,
the longer you're together, your relationship should grow deeper and
stronger along with your emotional bond and connection to her.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/attachments-to-sex-vs-
authentic-giving/18467

528
Wanting What You Can’t Have

“Human beings tend to want what they can’t have and value what they
have to work for. If you see life as a struggle and feel as if nothing ever
seems to work out for you or that things won’t continue to work out for
you long term, this can cause you to focus on and become trapped in
situations or fixated on people who do not want you back. It then
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You feel you don’t deserve what
you want, and therefore become emotionally fixated on people who
don’t feel the same way as you. The true way to an effortless life is to
have faith that by continuing to search and seek, you eventually will
find people and circumstances that want you to stick around and love
you back unconditionally.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You’ve got to become what you want to attract. If you're not happy with
the quality of where you're working, or the job opportunities that you're
being offered, or the clients that you have in your life, or your business,
or the friends that you have, or the women that you date, you’ve got to
increase the quality of the human being you are by developing your
body, growing your reserve of knowledge, developing your gifts, your
skills, and your talents. Because, as you become better, your confidence
grows, and other people that are resonating and vibrating on that same
kind of level will simply be naturally drawn to you. And as you start to
interact with them, it's going to feel easy, it's going to feel effortless.

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That's when you kind of get in the flow and you meet somebody, and it
just feels like you’ve kind of known them forever.

Like, you think about your closest friends when you first met them, it
was easy and effortless to talk to them. You had similar goals, similar
values, you had similar interests, and things just seemed to flow. And
if you're experiencing a lot of friction and you don't really value
yourself, you’re going to attract people into your life that are going to
cause you to feel like you're unworthy. You're going to play that out.
Whereas somebody that's got good, healthy self-esteem and they've
developed themselves is going to set healthy boundaries, hold other
people accountable to those boundaries, and if they continually violate
them, well, then they get the gift of missing you. And if they don't stop,
then they get the gift of missing you permanently.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/wanting-what-you-
cant-have/14468

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Not Ready For A Serious Relationship

“Feminine energy is all about communicating, bonding, connecting,

opening up to receive love, relationship labels, commitments, etc.
Currently, most men are portrayed in movies and TV as having to lock
a woman down to a commitment or marriage before some other guy
comes along and does it. Men who behave this way in real life come off
as being needy, clingy, controlling, possessive and scare women away.
When you watch movies from 40, 50 or 60 years ago, you see the exact
opposite. Women were always trying to get men to settle down, propose
and start a family. The men were usually portrayed as being reluctant
at first, but by the end of the movie or TV show, they enthusiastically
agreed and lived happily ever after. Men are always better off and will
be much more effective in creating relationships if they focus on being
a great dater, having fun together and letting women bring up the topic
of making a commitment first. Women are the ones who do the
choosing anyway when it comes to relationships. Men who try and
force this predictably get rejected.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

When a guy is focused on a relationship and locking a woman down to

a commitment, typically, they're doing this way before the woman is
emotionally ready. And he's way more into her than she is into him, and
this causes her to become confused. It ruins the sexual polarity, because
he's basically acting more like a woman than a masculine man. If you
think about it, women are physically driven to seek a man's attention.

531
That's why they take all the time to do their hair, their nails, put makeup
on, try on three different outfits before you go out on a date, and always
are trying to get your time and your attention.

If you look at the most masculine men, they’re focused on their mission
and their purpose, and they’re obsessed about that. And then the pretty
girl comes along, and he's absolutely taken with her beauty. She's able
to cause him to notice her and move towards her. But yet, if she runs
away, he gets back to his purpose and his mission because he knows,
like a good kitty cat, eventually, when she starts to miss him, she's going
to come back and wonder what happened.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/not-ready-for-a-
serious-relationship/22739

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If You Stop Dating Your Woman...

“If you don’t date your wife or girlfriend, eventually some other guy
will. Guys who struggle in long-term relationships typically make the
same mistakes. After several years of being together and living
together, they get caught up in work, life or unexpected challenges and
start treating their women like roommates who will stick around no
matter what. This causes women to feel unloved, unappreciated and
unwanted. Women typically will protest and try to communicate what
they need, but many men just take them for granted, tell them they are
being unreasonable, ignore them, ask them to be patient and nothing
really changes. Eventually, the women fall out of love and either end
the relationship or start a new one with someone else who makes them
feels special the way they once did. Predictably, the men are shocked
and crushed once their women are gone and say they never saw it
coming. The courtship never ends in a relationship. Women know if a
man really truly cares, he will continually show her through his actions
by continuously dating and courting her, even when life is difficult or
full of challenges.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is so easy for guys that are in long-term relationships, especially

when they're married with kids—and especially if you’ve got a lot of
kids—and you’ve got a lot of family, you're busy with your career, you
come home every night, the kids want to be fed, you’ve got to keep the
kids entertained, otherwise they start misbehaving. And when you

533
started dating and courting her to get her to fall in love with you, you're
taking her out on dates, you’re planning dinners, you’re planning
events, you’re taking her on vacations, you’re going and you're doing
fun things together. But when you have kids, what happens is, it just
happens slowly over time, but you're both tired and you’re like, “Oh,
let's just get a pizza and we’ll rent a movie tonight, and then we’ll go
out tomorrow night.” And then tomorrow night comes and you’re like,
“Oh, I’m really tired,” “I'm tired too,” “Let's just do it next week, and
we’ll go out and do something fun.” And then what happens is it just
becomes the same dull, boring routine every night where you do the
same thing over and over and over again, and because you always have
kids, they both say “Hey, well, we’re busy with the kids,” and what
happens is many months and years go by, and it becomes the same dull,
boring routine.

I remember one of my girlfriends, one time, I was actually in my office

in my conference room, and then later on we were talking. I could tell
something was a little off, there was just, there wasn't as much
enthusiasm to see me, and I could tell she was kind of bothered by
something. And at the time, I thought, “Hey, you know, she loves me,
I'm amazing. I’ve got this all figured out. I’ve got the love of my life.
This is great, it's fabulous, I'm fabulous, we’re fabulous, she's
fabulous.” And so, we go to happy hour with my partners and a bunch
of other employees, and everybody had their girlfriends or their wives
there, and we were just kind of sitting there at a high-top together and
talking, and she looks at me and she says, “I'm not happy.” I’m like,
“What do you mean?” and she starts to tell me that, like, “I come over

534
to your house, I know what's going to happen.” It's just like the same
routine every week, you know.

She had a young daughter, and we had her cousins, and they all had
young kids, and so we were always kind of doing the same thing every
weekend, and I came to recognize that, because we always had her
daughter with us, that I had gotten lazy and had gotten complacent. I
wasn't planning dates, I wasn't taking care of babysitting arrangements,
and we just weren't going out and doing as many fun things. And what
she was saying was like, she’d come over to my house, she knew how
I was going to seduce her—it was going to be the same kind of date—
and it just kind of became the same routine.

It just woke me up, and I recognized that she was falling out of love
with me, because I was taking her for granted. I was no longer putting
in the same level of effort that I had been to court and date her properly
just because once that part of my life was going great, I started focusing
more on my business, so I could make more money, and grow the
business and take on bigger challenges. I wasn't even dating her and
spending as much time with her, because I figured, “Hey, we would just
get together on the weekend.” Whereas back when we were dating, we
were seeing each other and going out on dates several times a week.
Whether it was just me and her, or her and her daughter, or other
members of her family and their kids, we'd all get together and do
double and triple dates, and we’d do something that was fun with
everybody and the kids. And like I said, I just got lazy and complacent
and it took her communicating to me that she wasn't happy.

535
Now, I was stunned. I was disappointed, and I felt like less of a man at
the time and I felt like a total failure, and then I started worrying that I
might end up losing her because she wasn't happy. But I was able to
take corrective action, and then a few weeks later, things were great,
things were right back on track. This is where, in my book How To Be
A 3% Man, the interest level table or chart, which is in the chapter “It's
All in the Numbers,” can be really helpful for guys because, based on
her attraction level, it will determine what actions she takes, the things
that she says. And as her attraction level drops, those things that she
does in the higher stages of attraction, she's no longer doing those. And
that's how you're able to recognize that you basically have been fucking
up and you need to take corrective action.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/if-you-stop-dating-
your-woman/25743

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Relationship Choices

“People can hide who they really are for the first 90 days of a
relationship. Human beings make choices based upon emotions and use
logic and reason to justify their decisions. It usually takes 6 to 12
months for the infatuation or honeymoon period in any new relationship
to pass. If you’re thinking about making serious, long-term legal
commitments such as marriage, it’s prudent to make them when you’re
no longer infatuated. Otherwise, you run the risk of being blinded by
your emotions to the point you willfully ignore red flags, character
flaws and integrity issues you would normally have walked away
from.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, I was doing a phone session with a client yesterday, and he had
dated this woman that he had called me about, for about three years they
were together, and then, eventually, she broke it off with him about a
year, year and a half ago. And for the first eight months or so after the
breakup, he was really stinging from that. But, over time, he started
feeling better, he kind of got back to normal and started moving forward
and dating again and reapplying the things that he learned in my book,
because a friend of his had turned him on to my work several years ago.

And as we were going through the different explanations of what had

happened, what he was doing, what she was doing, what he was saying,
what she was saying, back when they were originally together, this

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particular guy had read my book like five times and he said he had
listened to the audiobook about twenty times. But what was interesting
is, because he really loved this girl and he really cared about her and
she was the one that rejected him, rejection bred obsession. So, even
though he had kind of gotten over it, mostly, she was still in the back of
his mind. And then, one day, a few months ago, she actually showed
back up in his life after about a year and a half or so. And you know,
when he originally broke up with her—or I should say, she left him—
within two months she was in a relationship with another guy. Within
about two months of the breakup, she was in a relationship with another
guy, and obviously, he was pretty devastated by that because he wasn’t
expecting the breakup.

But one of the interesting things is this guy's been through my book so
many times, and he knows it backward and forwards, but he started
telling me that over the course of the relationship that they were
together for those three years, he was doing at least 70% of the pursuing,
which obviously, as I talk about in my book, the guy shouldn’t be doing
more than 20-30% of it. So, on some level, she always knew that he
was way more into her than she was into him. And so, when you're
trying to re-attract an ex—like in this case, she ended up coming into
his place of business and they kind of reconnected, and she supposedly
had broken up with the other guy that she had dated since she had left
him, and she had claimed it was all over—he kind of started going back
to that same kind of behavior: putting her on a pedestal, being extra
nice, doing a bunch of pursuing, instead of following the things that I

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teach in my video and article that I wrote several years ago called 7
Principles to Get An Ex Back.

And so, a lot of guys make this mistake when they're trying to re-attract
somebody that dumped them. Because, if the person that does the
dumping comes back and wants to rekindle things, since it was their
idea to end it, it's got to be their idea to rekindle it. And, therefore, they
have to earn another chance with you, not the other way around. But
because he pedestalized this girl, and then later found out that this ex
was still in the picture trying to get her back, he started to pursue more
and basically went right back to exhibiting the same behaviors that he
did that caused her to lose attraction for him in the first place and date
another guy.

And then what happened was— I was pointing this out and he was very
resistant to it, because he really didn’t want to hear it, but deep down,
he knew I was right—that he literally drove her right back into this
particular guy's arms. And when I had talked to him, he had literally not
even seen her in a month. Even though they started dating and hooking
up again, she bounced back to this other guy, and just a few days ago,
in between the time that he had booked the phone session and we
actually had the phone session, she started reaching out.

And, by the end of the phone session, he really saw what he was doing
and how his behavior was inaccurate, and he acknowledged it. He’s
like, “The girls I really like,” he says, “I have a hard time controlling
myself.” And the women he's not that into, he tends to do everything
right. But, because this girl, he really wanted her back and really wanted
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another chance with her, he was bullshitting himself and he was talking
himself into taking a bunch of unnecessary action, instead of letting her
feelings develop slowly over time. Because women fall in love slowly,
over time, and they also fall out of love slowly over time. And if you're
trying to re-attract them, it's the same process—it takes time for them
to fall back in love with you.

And when they’re starting to pursue you and then you start to pursue
them back, you’re getting in the way of that emotional bond reforming.
And then, what happens is, the woman starts to become confused, she
starts to back away, and when she backs away, the guy chases more and
pursues more, and then he literally chases her out of his life again and
then back into the arms of the other guy. And the best way to handle
those situations is to let her do 100% of the calling, texting, pursuing,
and make dates where she has to come to him, come to his place. And
he just simply wasn't doing that. But by the end of the phone session,
he was able to kind of see and admit the error of his ways.

Even though this guy had been through my book over 20 times, he still,
and I pointed it out to him, he just wasn't following what I taught—he
was doing the opposite of it. And I said, “Obviously, we wouldn't be on
this phone call if your approach was working.” So, I believe by the end
of the conversation he had things figured out, so it’ll be interesting to
see going forward how he does. But, you know, usually, when I do
phone sessions like that with guys, they just need the one phone session
and then, boom, things just click for them and they get it.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/relationship-
choices/24719

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Long Distance Turning Into More

“Having the space and freedom to be yourself and create the life you
really want is essential to your overall happiness. When you feel
comfortable in your own skin and your ability to be yourself, it makes
it easy to allow members of the opposite sex to see you as attractive and
want to be around you. Loving in a way that makes the one you love
continue to feel free is the key to allowing them the freedom to choose
you. When you allow others to choose you at their own pace, you set
the conditions for life and your relationships to be effortless; two
complete people sharing their completeness.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you value yourself, respect yourself, and love yourself, you're cool
with things coming and going. You're cool with opportunities coming
along. If it's not the right opportunity, you're happy to sit back and wait
for an even better one, because the reality is, better always comes.
There's always another bus every 15 minutes. Even that woman that
you once—this is probably the experience of most people listening to
this, most guys listening to this, and women for that matter—that person
you are heartbroken of, that at the time you never felt like you were
going to get over it, eventually, when enough time passes, they no
longer have that emotional charge or that effect or that attachment that
you once had to it.

Typically, on average, I've seen studies of this, where most people it

takes about a year and a half to get over a breakup, to get to the point

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where the emotions are gone. You still may miss them from time to
time, but you're no longer in that excruciating type of breakup pain at
the end of a relationship. Because when a relationship ends, one of the
things that’s so hard about that is our whole identity becomes wrapped
up in who we were with that person. We spend our weekends together,
we spend the evenings together, we wake up together, we eat together,
we sleep together, we shower together, we travel together, and all of a
sudden, that person is no longer in your life. And, therefore, the life that
you used to have is no longer what it used to be. And so, you miss what
you had.

But when enough time passes, you get back to enjoying your time alone,
having a great life, a great lifestyle, and you just enjoy your own
company. Because when you get to the place where you can enjoy your
own company, then you're a great person to be with. So, you’ve got to
take the time and get to a place where you feel happy, whole, and
complete on your own. Then, you’ll make the best partner

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/long-distance-turning-
into-more/14204

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The Kiss Test

“How do you know when a woman is ready to be kissed on a date?

Look into her eyes, then slowly down to her lips and then slowly back
into her eyes during normal conversation. Slowly repeat this one or two
more times over the next 10-20 seconds. If she looks at your lips also,
then she is thinking about kissing you too. Go for it immediately! You
should always go for a kiss on all of your first dates. Women who are
flexible, open, romantically interested and easy going will kiss you back
passionately. They deserve a second date. Women, who give you the
cheek, hug you or scold you for trying, never get or deserve a second
date.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I like women who are authentic and real, and if she wants to kiss me,
she's going to kiss me. She's not going to be holding back and thinking,
“Well, I’m going to hold back and not kiss until the second or third date,
because I want him to like me more.” Love is about giving, and you
want a woman who gives to you freely without any inhibitions. If she
likes you, she'll kiss you back. If she’s structured or got a bunch of rules
or a bunch of hoops that she's going to try to make you jump through in
order for her to show up a certain way, I just simply have no interest in
dating those kinds of women, because they’re just too difficult; they’re
too much of the pain in the ass. I want a woman that doesn't hold back.

You know, if you’ve studied The Ten Disciplines of Love, one of the
ten disciplines is “Fear and hurt imprison the heart.” And if you’ve got

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a woman who is fearful of showing you that she really likes you, she's
holding back and protecting her heart on some level. And when I do
phone sessions with guys, I've seen this over and over, thousands of
times over the years, these are one of the things that I ask them. And
they've mentioned that, especially when it's like the third or fourth date
before she actually kissed them, it just creates all kinds of problems
down the road in the relationship most times. This is not set in stone,
but from my personal experience and having done tens of thousands of
phone sessions and answered tens of thousands of emails over the years,
you see the same pattern: women that are structured and have a bunch
of rules are just too much of a pain in the ass, and they make love
difficult, instead of easy, effortless, and fun, and something exciting to
look forward to.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-kiss-test/22727

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If We Get Back Together

“It’s the nature of feminine energy to be unsure, confused and

indecisive, to say one thing one minute, and then a few minutes later,
the complete opposite. It’s the nature of masculine energy to be direct,
decisive, and confident, in control, calm, cool and collected. Men and
women both have masculine and feminine energy. Feminine energy is
the natural essence of most women, and masculine energy is the natural
essence of most men. Men who do not understand the nature of sexual
polarity or masculine and feminine energy are often confused,
befuddled and extremely frustrated by women’s seemingly
contradictory behavior. Men who understand women know that the
most effective way to shift their women into a peaceful, loving, certain,
relaxed, open and happy state is to make sure that they are centered in
their own masculine energy by being direct, decisive, fearless and
certain of themselves.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I had a phone session this week with a guy who's been following my
work for, I guess, about two years now, but he made the mistake a lot
of guys make when I talk about how you should be my first book, How
To Be A 3% Man, 10-15 times so you know it backward and forwards.
And he ended up running into this girl that he met about 15 years ago
that he thought was really hot at a friend’s house, and then he hadn't
seen her in a lot of years, and it turns out she ended up living around
the corner from him.

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And so, he started dating her. And it's just interesting, over the last year
as they’ve gotten closer and closer, he started to see that the things in
the book work, and he’s starting to grow his confidence, because for
probably about five to six months solid, she would get closer to him and
then she would kind of bounce out, because he was still chasing and
pursuing too much, acting kind of needy and unsure. And what just
happened in the past week was that she had kind of pulled back, because
she's kind of insecure herself. And I pointed this out to him, and he was
already starting to suspect that that was the case.

And just a few days ago, about four or five days ago, she had told him
that “I don't want this anymore. I don't want to see you anymore, I don’t
want to date, I don’t want a relationship,” because something had
happened. And after he explained the situation, I was pointing out, it's
really her insecurities, because what’s happening is, she's really hot and
she's used to having her choice with guys, and blowing guys off, guys
becoming stalkers. Because she actually had a guy that’s in her life that
she dated a few months ago, and he's blowing up her phone, driving by
her house, and, obviously, that's in the back of her mind. And so,
anytime he displays any kind of weakness or neediness—he calls too
much, he texts too much—she tells him she's not ready for a
relationship and tends to push him away.

And things were going really amazing the last couple of weeks up until
about four or five days ago, then she just basically told him that she
didn’t want to date or see him anymore, and they weren’t going to talk
anymore. He was like, “Well, I'm sad, but hey, get in touch if you

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change your mind.” And she's like, “I won't. It's over.” And he got really
worried, and he just kept texting her and calling her, he barraged her
with messages, and then she went completely silent on him. And so, we
were talking, and as he was telling me what had been going on over the
past year, I told him, I said, “More than likely, she'll be getting back in
touch with you.”

I said, “What’s probably happening, because she's insecure and she's

really starting to fall for you,” because they were seeing each other
almost every day at this point, whereas like for four or five months
straight, they would only see each other a couple of times a month
because he kept fucking up and started to chase too much, and that
would push her away. And so, he's like, “God, what should I do?” And
I just said, “You don't do anything. You already said everything you
could to her, the ball is in her court. You have to just wait to hear from
her, even if it means you might never ever hear from her again. Because
she's already told you she wanted space, she's communicated that you're
smothering her, and just let her be.”

And then I got a message yesterday from him stating that “Guess who
called me?” So, obviously they have a date set and I was telling him, I
said, “I'm psychic like that, bro. I told you she’d be back.” And so,
they’ve got a date set. And what's great for this is because it looks like
this is the moment where he's able to finally push through his fear and
get over that neediness and then actually start to see that she's actually
a lot more insecure than he is. And so, the reason she was getting bitchy
is that he was acting like a bitch, basically, and pushing him away and

548
bluffing to say, “Hey, this is the end of the relationship and you're never
ever going to see me again.”

And then he was starting to believe it and he started to pursue more,

which is a natural thing for us guys to do, because we’re driven to take
action and make things happen. But when a woman is pushing you
away and telling you she needs space, the worst thing you could do is
keep pursuing her. You just have to say, “Hey, you know, it sucks. But
hey, if you change your mind, definitely get in touch.”

So, he hadn’t heard from her for four or five days, then she finally did
get back in touch. So, now the ball’s back in his court. And this is the
kind of thing that really is what enables him to really embrace what's in
my books and just let her come to him at her own pace.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/if-we-get-back-
together/18585

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10 Reasons Why Women Chase More

“Feminism was originally a great idea and movement to make sure

women got voting rights and were treated as equals and teammates.
However, over the last fifty-plus years, feminism has become
unbalanced, too aggressive and focused on tearing men down, neutering
and emasculating them. Way too many TV shows and movies portray
men as bumbling, weak, stupid, dishonest, feminine and girly, while the
women are increasingly portrayed as being confident, aloof, smart,
masculine and manly. This has blurred the natural and innate masculine
and feminine gender roles and caused unbalanced sexual polarity, as
men and women struggle to be who they really are, have healthy
relationships and adapt to women being in positions of power and
leadership in their careers and home lives. The solution is for men and
women to understand the difference between masculine and feminine
energy, how this creates sexual polarity and attraction, and act
according to their own dominant natural essence.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

This is also a result of a lot of women and men having daddy and
mommy issues. They grew up with a missing father or mother figure
that's healthy in their lives. Plus, when you turn on the TV, you see it
as part of the culture. And everybody's watching the same TV and
movie programs that are presenting this false archetype of an
inefficient, inauthentic, and unhealthy way of men and women showing

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up. All out of this desire to say that women are equal, women can do
everything just as good as men. The reality is, women tend to be better
nurturers and listeners than men, and men tend to be more physically
stronger, more focused on achieving, accomplishing, breaking through
barriers, being single-minded of focus, and making things happen.

That's why you see a lot of the big debate in the, especially in the
military, and even more so in the special operations community,
because there are certain standards that you have to meet physically, in
order to throw a 200-250-pound man on your back if they've become
wounded in combat. And when you have 125-130-pound women,
physically, they are just unable to do some of these things that are
actually required in the special operations community. And so, now you
see this push to lower the standards to let more women into the program.
And as of this recording, I believe it was one woman, finally was able
to pass all the physical qualifications to join the special operations
community.

Obviously, people in the military, especially the masculine Alpha type

guys that are in this, have their own opinion. At the end of the day, if
they become wounded and they have a woman that's in their unit that
just physically is not able to drag them to safety, not only does it
endanger the safety and life of the injured soldier, but it endangers the
woman who's exposing herself to try to bring that soldier to safety. We
have to be honest with ourselves and call a spade a spade. There are just
some things that men are way better at than women and there are some
things that women are way better at than men. And, obviously, the

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social justice warriors don't like to hear that, but you’ve got to be
realistic. You can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences
of ignoring reality.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/10-reasons-why-
women-chase-more/27330

552
 An Abundance Mindset

I Have Value! I Am Amazing!

“If you see yourself as having value and being an amazing person, you
will consciously take actions and speak in ways that help you manifest
your grandest desires and dreams. However, if deep down you don’t
believe that you have any value or are not an amazing person, you will
unconsciously sabotage and steer your life away from the things you
want and take actions that will create a life that is congruent with your
feeling of unworthiness. People will always act in ways that are
consistent with how they view themselves to be, whether that view is
accurate or not. You must see, believe, act and speak in ways that are
consistent with loving, valuing and respecting yourself before others
will see you that way. Before anyone else will believe in you, you have
to believe in yourself first.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Even if you don't believe you’re amazing, even if you don't believe you
have value, you should spend your time trying to become a person of
value. Way too many people in the world are focused on being a victim
because society, their socialist, Marxist, communist politicians and
teachers have convinced them that they’re victims, and their lot in life
is the result of a biased system that is only set up to the help the most
wealthy amongst us. If that were really true—that the system is biased
and only the wealthy succeed—then you wouldn't have people coming

553
up from the ghetto, or the worst places in life, or escaping from really
dangerous, horrible countries, coming to the United States and
becoming multi-multi-millionaires and billionaires.

There is evidence all around us of people who had unbelievable,

overwhelming odds in their favor—people that grew up without
parents, people that went through the foster care system—and yet they
still succeeded because of something that was inside of them. At some
point in their lives, they made a choice, and they made a decision that
success was up to them, and up to them exclusively. They chose to be
self-reliant. And, therefore, because they believed it was possible—and
our society is filled with people of every cultural, ethnic, and family
background—have made it to the top.

Being successful is the result of growing your reserve of knowledge,

developing your gifts, your skills and your talents, and spending the
time necessary to make it a reality. You're either a victim or you believe
you are the creator of your life and your circumstances and, therefore,
everything that happens to you is just simply part of your journey—part
of your stepping stone—and every failure that's happened is something
that you can learn from, so you can improve and get better the next time
around. Just like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you
can't, either way, you are right.”

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-have-value-i-am-
amazing/17073

555
The Art Of Flirting And Creating Attraction

“Flirting is the art of playful teasing between two people who like each
other. Playful teasing and banter is the secret language of love. It is
expressing attraction in an indirect but playful way. It is not mean
spirited but playful, humorous and fun. When you playfully tease
members of the opposite sex and they playfully tease back, this
communicates mutual admiration and sexual attraction. Those who
don’t have mutual interest, a low self-esteem or mutual attraction will
not tease back. However, just because they flirt does not mean they are
single and available. The only way to know for sure is to risk rejection
by asking them out on a date or for their phone number. Be grateful no
matter what happens with their response. Why? Unlike most people,
you had the confidence to ask! You should always label that a success!”
~ Coach Corey Wayne

When I’m doing phone sessions with guys and they’re really struggling
with the women they’re involved with, the women they’re dating, or
their wives, a lot of times what I see is just a lack of humor and
playfulness. Because women bluff to test a guy, they bluff to test his
strength. They often feign irritation and displeasure with however he's
showing up. Men who are weak and unsure of themselves will
apologize, change their opinions to match hers, and act submissive and
feminine and weak in an attempt to gain her approval. Guys who don't
give a damn and who don't care whether people like them or not are

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going to find a reason to make a joke and make fun of her, make fun of
himself, not take himself too seriously, and look for a reason to laugh
and enjoy himself. And if a woman's behavior is inappropriate, he's
going to use humor and playfulness to mess with her, to communicate
in a fun, playful, and loving way that she's out of line and her behavior
is inappropriate. And if she's got her shit together and is a good woman,
she's going to recognize this, laugh at herself, and if she's out of line,
she'll even apologize.

Always go with the flow and diffuse with humor when a woman puts
you under pressure. It doesn't mean you joke about everything. Like I
talk about in my book, How To Be A 3% Man, it's like 90% of the time
you're the charming James Bond, and 10% of the time you are kind of
the naughty boy—you're doing things that are a little risky and out of
bounds, and maybe even somewhat inappropriate, but in a fun way. It's
kind of like dangerous masculinity; doing things that are a little naughty
but fun.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-art-of-flirting-
creating-attraction/14194

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From Beta Male Into Alpha Male

“An Alpha male goes for what he wants in spite of the fears and
potential for failure. A Beta male gets stuck in the paralysis of analysis,
dithers, hesitates, is indecisive and rarely takes risks in order to avoid
failure. Alpha males understand that failure and overcoming their fears
is a part of life, and a necessary precursor to success. Alpha males
understand that their success is their responsibility and their
responsibility alone. They take responsibility for everything that
happens in their lives, good and bad. Beta males blame others for their
failures and attribute their successes to luck and things that are out of
their control. When it comes to success, Beta males wish it would
happen, while Alpha males make it happen.” ~Coach Corey Wayne

So, when it comes to dating, an Alpha male is direct, decisive, he gets

right to the point. He tells a woman exactly what he thinks of her, he
gets her number, he makes a date, he makes a date on the spot, he calls
her later for a date, invites her out on a date, knows where he's going to
go, knows where he wants to take her, invites her to join him. The Beta
male is worried about failure and losing her and is seeking her approval.
They tend to not to get to the point, they tend to dither. They oftentimes
try to fly under the radar and be friends first in hopes that she’ll see
what a great guy he is and then later want to date him. He hides and he
masks his attraction and his desire for her. This is weakness, and it’s

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repulsive to women. And guys that behave this way perpetually get
stuck in friend-zone.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/from-Beta-male-into-
Alpha-male/17380

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Why You’re Not A Priority

“If you don’t feel you deserve someone or something in your heart,
you’ll think, speak and act in ways that demonstrate this to them and
the universe. The quickest way to get someone else’s attention is to
remove yours. Removing your attention and focus from people and
circumstances you want is how you lose your attachment to needing
them in your life. It’s the difference between wanting, but not having,
and becoming accepting of the possibility of having or not having what
you want and being okay with either outcome. Once you are okay with
either possibility, you’ll start acting, thinking and speaking in ways that
either manifest exactly what you want, or bring you an even better
possibility you may not have thought of or considered.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

So, when you're dating and you're in a relationship, or you've got friends
that don't return your calls or take a week or two to return your calls, (if
they return them at all), you’ve got to match and mirror that behavior.
If somebody lets you go after you stop moving forward, well, that
obviously communicates that they really didn't care that much about
having you in their lives. This is how you ensure that the people that
are in your inner circle, and obviously the people that you date, are there
because they really want to be there for you. Because, otherwise, if you
make more of an effort than other people—in other words, if you're
more invested in the relationship than they are—you're in a weaker

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position of leverage and, therefore, you have emotionally more to lose.
And when it comes to dating women, if they notice that you're way
more into them than they are into you, they typically will start to back
off, because you’re displaying weakness, because you're seeking their
attention and validation more than they are seeking yours.

And once you recognize that, it’s just like the analogy I've used many
times about the cat being in your lap: it sits and it purrs, it jumps out of
your lap, you’ve got to let it go. And if it comes back, great; if it doesn't,
that's fine too—better will come. This is the abundance mindset, the
abundance mentality, where if you've got multiple options for jobs, if
you’ve got multiple entrepreneurial opportunities, if you’ve got
multiple choices in women that you can date, you’ve got multiple
choices of guys you can hang out with and be friends with, in these
situations, because you have an abundance mentality, you’re going to
spend your time with the people who most want to spend their time with
you.

If you've just got one or two choices and options, now you're in a
scarcity mindset, and that puts you in a fearful state. And when we fear
losing someone or something, we’re in a weak position of leverage.
And then we try too hard, we make too much of an effort, we take a
lower salary than we want, we’re okay with getting passed over for a
promotion, instead of getting passed over for a promotion and then just
simply going out and finding a job with a company that will actually
give you the kind of promotion, and the income and the salary that you

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want. It’s all part of negotiation. Everything in life is a negotiation. You
either sell them, or you get sold by them.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-youre-not-a-
priority/14373

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Advantages Of Dating Multiple Women

“In business, in life and in love, you will always be in a superior

position if you have an abundance of choices. When you have lots of
choices and lots of options, you can be very selective with the kind of
people you work with or for, the kind of lovers you date, and the kind
of lifestyle you want to live. When you don’t have many choices, this
will put you into a scarcity mindset. When you are in a scarcity mindset,
your tendencies will be to settle for careers, jobs, businesses, life
circumstances, lovers, friends, customers/clients, etc., that are less than
what you deserve. As the old saying goes, one is no choice, two is a
dilemma, and three is a choice. If you truly want the best for yourself,
then you will always set yourself up in every area of your life to have
an abundance of high-quality choices. The quality of your life is in
direct proportion to the amount of high-quality choices that you design,
build and attract into your life and lifestyle.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you've never had the experience of having three or four different

women all at the same time who you can date and hang out with, and
potentially sleep with, my book, How To Be A 3% Man, can help you
master the skills, the techniques, and the strategies to make that a
reality. Because if you have no choices and then you find somebody,
you’re in the mindset of desperation, that “I need to make this happen
now, or else I may never meet another person like this.”

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And at the end of the day, this is a mindset, this is a story that we tell
ourselves. And so, you take the steps that you need to take on a daily
basis to create the first opportunity with the first woman, and then you
continue to prospect. A lot of guys will meet a girl and think “This is it.
This is the one,” and then they stop dating and prospecting. Whereas
most women, especially attractive women, they’ve got lots of choices
and lots of options, and they're trying to figure out which guy is the best
one for them.

So, even if you don't have that many choices or only one choice, you
should be excited about having a prospect, but you want to continue to
have other prospects. Just like somebody that's in sales needs to have
multiple prospects—multiple balls in the air, so to speak, multiple irons
in the fire if you will—because not all of them are going to turn into
something. Some of those women are going to turn out, you're not to
like them very much, and vice versa. Some of them you might really
like, but they're not going to really be that into you.

That's why it’s so powerful to keep moving, to keep circulating, to keep

dating, to keep practicing your skills, because this builds your
confidence. If you have lots of choices and lots options, you’re going
to be a little cockier, you're going to be a little more masculine. You’re
going to be less willing to put up and tolerate bullshit and getting jerked
around, and you’re going to be more inclined to stand up for yourself,
and this will actually cause you to exude the vibration of masculinity,
and cockiness, and humor and playfulness which is what you’re going
to need to attract women. And then when you get one or two options,
then it feels like women come out of the woodwork, versus like when

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you have no choices, it’s just hard to find somebody to even talk to or
go on a date. Create the conditions where you have lots of prospects.

Again, this is great for sales, great for business; use the same kind of
philosophy when you're going after a job or you’re trying to raise capital
for your startup or for your business. You want to have multiple
investors, because if you have multiple people excited about investing
in your company and you’ve got a limited number of slots that you can
take investors for, then you’ll get investors wanting to give you more
money than they initially intended to, because they don't want to miss
out.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/advantages-of-dating-
multiple-women/18867

565
It’s Your Vibe, Not Your Looks

“However you perceive yourself is how you are going to cause other
people to perceive you. When you believe that you are ugly,
unattractive or that members of the opposite sex in general will find you
too undesirable to date, you will actually seek out people who find you
unattractive and who don’t like you, because this matches and mirrors
your inner world and how you view yourself. You literally will steer
yourself away from people who like, value and accept you the way you
are. Like attracts like. Water seeks its own level. Seek out people who
share the same goals, values, hobbies and interests. People who like the
same things tend to like each other. If you spend your time with people
who don’t share the same values and interests, this will create a lot of
friction and resistance. Those relationships will also take a lot of energy
and suppression of your true personality and identity to maintain. Spend
your time with like-minded people who enthusiastically welcome and
invite you into their lives, not those who merely tolerate you.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

Unless you're a super, really good-looking guy or girl, and you're more
of an average type of guy like me, most of the people that you're
attracted to, that you’re going to want to date, are just simply not going
to be into you. Your conversion rate is going to be low. In other words,
your conversion rate on your dating prospects is going to be low.

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And when you look at direct response advertising or marketing, out of
every 100 prospects, if you get two or three of them to do business with
you, that's considered really, really well. If you just get maybe one
percent or a percent and a half, then that's actually a pretty decent
response as well. And when it comes to relationships, all you need is
one really good match and one person who really wants to be with you.
That's why you can't get discouraged when you get rejected. You’ve got
to accept the fact that, like I do, I'm going get rejected almost a 100%
of the time when I go after women that I find attractive and I want to
date, or that I at least want to talk to. Maybe they don't find me attractive
or maybe they're unavailable, whatever it happens to be, I know full
well going into it that there’s a low probability of success, but I still go
through the effort.

And then, occasionally, somebody comes along that, they just dig you
and you dig them, and it just happens. It’s just like, you’ve got to think
of it in terms of, how often do you meet a new best friend? It doesn't
happen every day. Special people are very rare, and they don't come
along very often. You’ve got to think in terms of the same way about
dating prospects. Really great people, whose goals and values are
aligned with your own, and that are a good match for you, and that you
have chemistry with are not going to come along often.

And like I said, in my own personal experience, you get about two to
three of those per decade. And that's just the harsh reality. So, in
between your time being in relationships and then being out of
relationships, and when you're single again, if it's not a match—if you

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don't feel it in your core, in your soul, in your heart that that's the right
person for you—as hard as it is, you have to keep moving and keep
circulating, because that's the only way you’re going to find the ideal
person, versus just settling and being mediocre like most of the people
in this world have done.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/its-your-vibe-not-your-
looks/19920

568
Picking Up Girls On Vacation

“Having an abundance mindset and cultivating a life and lifestyle that

gives you an overabundance of choices and options will put you into a
superior position of leverage that makes it easy to get what you want in
your personal and professional interactions. When you have too many
choices, you must be discerning and take your time to gather data on all
prospects, so you can make an informed decision to pick the best option.
When you have no choices or options, this causes you to be hungry,
desperate, and needy and overcompensate by trying too hard. Power,
like a river, flows to you effortlessly. Force wears you out, demoralizes
you, saps your confidence and repels what and who you want. Learn to
think from the end by behaving in ways that are consistent with having
too much of what you want. Abundance makes you feel peaceful and
relaxed. Scarcity makes you fearful, nervous and causes you to doubt
yourself. You always will do your best when you are peaceful and
relaxed.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Even if you don't have a lot of choices and lots of options and you're
worried about finding the right person for you, or even just getting the
next date, like Wayne Dyer used to say, you have to contemplate
yourself as being surrounded with the kind of conditions that you want
to create in your life. And that's just simply daydreaming, closing your
eyes and daydreaming about the great life and lifestyle that you want to
create.

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What does it look like? What does it feel like? What kinds of emotions
are you going to be experiencing on a daily basis? What kinds of things
are you going to do when you finally meet that right person or the next
great love of your life? How are they going to make you feel? How are
you going to make them feel? What kinds of fun things are you going
to do together? And just imagine what it's like. When you close your
eyes, just imagine yourself in that life that you want and how it feels;
how it looks, how your emotions are, what your body language is, what
your physiology is, what your emotions are, focusing on gratitude and
happiness. Because your brain doesn't know the difference between
fantasy and reality when you close your eyes. And this helps you train
your brain that when you're going through your daily life, to be on the
lookout for the types of people and the types of circumstances that are
ideal for what you want to create, so when those opportunities come
along, you kind of already feel what it's like, and so you kind of already
know instinctively how to act and how to interact.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/picking-up-girls-on-
vacation/32335

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Easy & Effortless Pick-Up

“Being an Alpha male is not about being a jerk or an asshole. It’s about
being yourself, knowing who you are, what you want, living your truth,
speaking your truth, and staying true to who you are without
compromising your values or your principles. It’s about going for what
you want in life without fear and despite the possibility of failure. Alpha
males do not seek or need the approval of others. They demonstrate
their masculinity through the sheer presence of their actions, character
and presence. They lead and live by example. They respect the opinions
and beliefs of others and demand that others respect theirs. They grovel
to no one. They don’t take themselves or life too seriously. Life is a gift
meant to be enjoyed and magnified through experiences with others by
creating great memories together.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

To me, the purpose of life is trying to find a way to enjoy it, trying to
create a life, and a lifestyle, and a social life that’s full of the kind
activities and people that bring you joy and happiness and can make
you laugh and feel good, so you can create great memories together.
Because, at the end of the day, the older you get, you’re going to really
be looking back on your life, and it's kind of a process of collecting
great memories and great experiences with great people in great places.
Because it's all going to turn to dust anyway, and it's not going to last
forever. So, you might as well find a way to give your life away and
your time in some kind of act of service, providing some kind of product

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or service you're deeply passionate about, and believe in, and enjoy and
love what you do for a living. It just doesn't make any sense spending
your time being miserable doing something you hate and spending it
with people that you can't stand.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/easy-effortless-pick-
up/16895

572
She’s Falling In Love With Me!

“Falling in love is beautiful. It is a man’s highest honor to receive the

emotional heart and love of his woman. It should be protected,
appreciated and nurtured. It’s something to be happy about, but not
something that should define you. It should be a blessing in your life,
not a burden. All intimate relationships have their beginnings as casual
love affairs that simply, not only never ended, but continued to expand
under the constant and consistent efforts of all involved. Always make
sure that the people who you fall in love with, are reciprocating through
their actions and not just their words. Being in love and being loved by
someone who is in love with you is a gift that makes life even better
than it already was. If you are single, seek to make your life great, so
you can attract someone who also has a great life who you can share it
with and expand your greatness together!” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Falling in love is a process. When it comes to dating a woman, women

fall in love slowly over time. You can't rush it any more than over-
fertilizing your garden, overwatering your garden, or giving it too much
sunlight. If you give it too much, too soon of too many of the good
things, so to speak, you’re going to end up killing off your garden and
destroying the potential for a beautiful love story to blossom slowly
over time.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/shes-falling-in-love-
with-me/16604

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I Was A Cold Fish & Lost Her

“Human beings most often react to the way they think things are or the
way they think they should be, instead of reacting the way that is most
appropriate. This includes responding to other people in ways learned
in childhood, which often are flawed or inappropriate. Irrational fears,
flawed thinking and limiting beliefs tend to make us react from a place
of scarcity and fear. Actions based upon scarcity or fear tend to be more
forceful and freedom robbing, thereby causing a loss of attraction and
a desire to get away. Actions based upon abundance tend to be more
non-attached, easy-going, patient and freedom enhancing, which
increases attraction and a desire to get closer.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is so true. How we respond to other people in the world is a product

of the environment that we grew up in. So, if we grow up in an
environment where we’re fearful, where we’re not getting enough
strokes, we don't hear “I love you” enough, we don't get enough
affection, our parents aren't cheering us on and making us believe that
we can do amazing, great things and being our biggest fans and being
our biggest cheerleaders, then when we become adults, we often believe
this about ourselves—that we’re less than what we're capable of—and
we’re going to act based upon that way.

And also, if you’ve been mistreated when you were a child, you’re
typically going to assume that somebody that you're dating, that you

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really don't even know yet and you don't have a history with, you’re
going to become emotionally triggered by things they do and things
they say, because it’s going to remind you of how you felt in childhood.
So, more often than not, when we’re reacting in a negative way towards
somebody we just met or just started dating, what's happening is we've
got an old wound from childhood, and we’re really reacting to that
person that we want to date and we want to love us in the same way that
we learned in our relationships with our parents and the people that
were close to us.

And if we never learned to trust, we’re just going to assume that the
person we’re interacting with is not trustworthy. And this is where you
get guys that act jealous and insecure about other guys, because they
never grew up in a stable, balanced environment; they were constantly
in a state of fear. And the people that they were in relationship with
when they were children instilled this fear in them that they weren't
good enough, they weren't worthy, they weren't deserving, and,
therefore, they automatically assume the new person they met, because
they never developed trust for the people when they were growing up.

This is especially true with women that have absentee fathers. They
never learned to trust men. They never learned which men were
trustworthy. And so, if you're dating a girl and she's constantly accusing
you of looking at other women, or dating other women behind her back,
or that you're lying to her, or that you're hiding something from her,
she's not reacting to you because you’re a horrible person, she's reacting
to the parent or the family member that wounded her in childhood.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-was-a-cold-fish-lost-
her/35034

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Why She Jerks You Around

“Successful people have options, not only in their career or business,

but in their personal lives as well. Unsuccessful people tend to have a
scarcity or poverty mindset, because they don’t think or act like they
deserve what they want. A scarcity and poverty mindset causes people
to tolerate things successful people do not, because they don’t feel like
they have any other choice. The truth is you are an abundant divine
being with infinite choices. The universe will always match and mirror
your mindset and beliefs. If you are not satisfied with your present
options, keep looking and acting as if what you really want will
eventually come. You must practice infinite patience and not become
attached to that which is not your ideal. If you give up and settle before
what you want and deserve actually manifests, then that will instruct
the universe to conform to your belief.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you have a scarcity and poverty mindset, this has a tremendous

impact on what you're willing to do to help yourself and what you're
not willing to do, what you're willing to move towards as well as what
you're willing to move away from. And you’ve got to realize that the
things you want in life, all those things that you dream about and you
fantasize about either having in your life or experiencing in your life,
are going to be the result of a process of time and repetition over many
months and years to eventually get to a place where you're an expert
and you master things that you might currently not be very good at.

578
The time is going to pass in your life. The days, and the hours, and the
weeks, and the months, and the years that you've been on this planet is
always getting longer, and the amount of those that you have left is
always getting shorter. The 24 hours in a day is going to pass. You
might as well spend it being productive at something that's exciting and
compelling to you, because someday, you're going to run out of time.
Do you really want to come to the end of your life and have nothing but
regrets about the risks that you didn't take, that person you didn't tell
what you thought or felt about them, or to go for that job opportunity or
that promotion that you wanted, or start that business that you've always
dreamed about?

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/why-she-jerks-you-
around/14153

579
Having Multiple Romantic Options

“Having multiple romantic options while you are dating is the best way
to build your confidence, cultivate an abundance mentality, overcome
feelings of neediness and desperation, and perfect your dating and
seduction skills, so you can attract the perfect long-term partner for you.
When you have few romantic options and meet someone you really like
when you still do not have emotional self-control, you will most likely
chase them right out of your life and talk them out of liking you. Most
women have many romantic options, and this helps them to get over
breakups way faster than the average male does. Plus, women are never
really out of the dating game. Why? They are constantly being hit on
when they are single, dating, in a relationship or married. Women who
were previously off the market simply can start saying yes to dates,
instead of rejecting men when they become single again. We all deserve
to have the best that we can get. When we have lots of choices, we
won’t settle for someone that is less than what we really deserve,
because we don’t have to.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Think about it from this perspective: if you've got multiple women that
want to date you—5, 6, 8, 10 women or 2 or 3—now you've got choices.
And if you're trying to decide which one you should date, you’re going
to take your time, you're going to be selective, you're going to see how
they show up, how they treat you, to determine which is the right girl
and which one is not. There's an old saying, “One is no choice, two is a

580
dilemma, three is a choice.” And by having multiple options, then you
can compare the different women and take your time to get to know
them. If you’ve got multiple women that want to date you and go out
with you, you can be selective and take your time, there’s no rush. Like
one of my favorite Rumi quotes, he said “Slow and steady like the river
that never grows stale. No hurry, no rush.”

And so, when it comes to dating, when it comes to prospecting for a

new job, or prospecting for clients, you want to take your time. You
want to set it up so you have lots of choices and lots of options, so you
can prospect properly to find the ideal candidate. If you have very few
choices, it's going to be hard to make a good choice, because you have
one or two choices, if that. And most guys—especially when it comes
to their personal life—because they don't know what they're doing, are
just happy to have somebody that will go out with them.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/having-multiple-
romantic-options/17400

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I Never Wanted It Too Much

“Great opportunities and lovers tend to come into our lives when we are
not looking for them. We may have a desire, but the difference is that
we are indifferent to whatever shows up. We are receptive and
unconditionally accepting of any possibility. When you want someone,
you should express your desire with positive expectation that you will
get what you want but are just as happy and content to not get it. Why?
To react harshly or be disappointed would be communicating that you
really don’t feel you deserve what you want. Therefore, the universe
will conform to your belief and send you people and circumstances that
match and mirror your expectations. Being indifferent is like swimming
with the current. You are simply along for the ride and enjoy where it
takes you. Being attached to an outcome or person you want is like
swimming upstream. You’ll only wear yourself out and drown, thereby
missing the gift of an effortless journey with people and circumstances
that want you also.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

What this really helps to communicate is that you're happy with

yourself, you're happy with your life, you love yourself, you value
yourself, you value what you bring to the table, and what you're looking
for is somebody who has mutual admiration for you; they’re also
excited to be with you and spend time with you. If you're a balanced
person, man or woman, if you're balanced and you have your shit
together—you love being single, you're happy being single, you enjoy

582
your time alone, especially—when you're in that place and you meet
somebody whose goals and values are aligned with your own, it makes
it so much easier and more effortless when you do start to interact with
them and spend time with them, because you're ready for it. You look
at them as a complement to your life, not as somebody that you need or
you have to have, so you feel better about yourself.

Because if you're looking to another person to make you happy, then,

on some level, what's going to happen is when they don't respond in the
way you expect or they don't meet your unreasonable expectations,
you’re going to not be happy and you’re going to get upset about it.
Versus, if you just love somebody for who they are and however they
show up, it's much easier to be with them, and you're going to do more
of the right things that continually make you appear to be attractive to
them, which is what you're going to want. Because if you're always
exhibiting attractive behaviors, the woman, over time, is going to
become more attracted to you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-never-wanted-it-too-
much/16580

583
Masculine Alpha Presence

“Authenticity and an unshakable belief in oneself are sexy and

attractive to others. In a world that is full of people who are wearing
phony facades that mask who they really are, authentic joyous people
who have come alive on the inside are a rare occurrence. A masculine
Alpha male lives an authentic life on his own terms that feels good on
the inside, despite how it appears to others on the outside. When you
love, value and accept yourself, you no longer require or seek the
approval of others.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

What's interesting is if you watch TV or you see celebrities or people

in the media in interviews, if you really look closely at their body
language and how they move and how they talk, you see a lot of
fakeness in them. You see their facial expressions are bullshit, the
phrases that they say are bullshit, their words are bullshit, they're just
authentic plastic type of people. These are people that don't really
believe in themselves deep down, and so they've adopted a facade that
they've used to present to the world, which is just a fake image of who
they really are.

Authentic, joyous, real people, like when you look at the Internet in the
advent of YouTube and social media, versus what you see on the
weekends when you watch the different news programs and they get
three or four talking heads, you get a five-minute segment, they're all
trying to get a couple of sentences in that are zingers, and then you come

584
away from watching that segment going, “God, I think I'm actually
dumber for having watched that. There was nothing informative in
that.” But when you look at something like a Joe Rogan podcast, or any
other kind of podcast, or like my YouTube videos, and you're just
speaking into the mic and being authentic and being real, you come
across as being more believable.

And what’s interesting in the culture is watching that shift, people are
going, “Man, I would much rather watch a two or a three-hour podcast
and video where people are just hanging out, having a great
conversation with one another,” because it's informative. They actually
go through and develop all of their beliefs, where they’re coming from,
and they explain things in a way that's much easier to understand than
watching some BS newscast where somebody’s trying to get a 20-
second soundbite or a zinger, so you remember their name.

People love authenticity, women love men that are authentic and real.
They've done studies—and we all kind of look at people this way—if
you drop lots of F-bombs and you curse, people who curse a lot are
perceived to be more authentic, trustworthy, and real. One of my
favorite expressions that's something my teacher said was, “You must
be who you are. What you should be is not important”—that was from
Sri Amma Bhagavan.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/masculine-Alpha-
presence/32026

586
Career Issues

“Human beings have two primary fears. Fear that we aren’t enough, or
in other words, fear that we don’t have what it takes to succeed, and
fear that we won’t be loved and accepted by our friends, family or peer
group. Fear only exists in the mind. Fear is a false story that we tell
ourselves to protect our ego from rejection, heartbreak, pain and the
consequences of failure. However, in order to reach your full potential,
you have to accept that failure is simply a necessary stepping stone to
accomplishing your grandest goals and dreams. You’re going to fail
more than you succeed and get rejected more than you are accepted and
celebrated, and it’s going to take longer than you think to succeed.
Think in terms of decades. Great things take decades, not weeks,
months or years. When you embark on your journey and take action
towards what you want, you are going to encounter resistance and
haters who try to discourage you, because those same people don’t have
the courage, determination and resolve that you do, for their own
dreams. You are not responsible for the opinions that others have of
you. You’re only responsible for what you do, what you allow and how
you show up in life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I say the majority of people would like to see you do well just as long
as you're not doing better than them. Because once you start to leave
your peer group, as far as the level of success you're encountering in
your own life, you'll notice that people who were once very positive

587
have turned negative, because they're jealous and envious of your
success. Because, typically, haters, they don't really hate you, they often
hate themselves; and really, deep down, they want to be you.

I see this a lot on my YouTube channel—there's a thing called “clout

chasing.” And I guess it is part of what goes with the territory of
becoming really successful, is you have people that would like to make
it on YouTube and would like to grow their business, and many of them
often start out by making videos talking shit about me—saying I'm a
fraud, that I'm horrible, that I’m a bad person. Because the reality is, I
have so many videos and articles and so many thousands and thousands
of viewers and people that watch my videos on a daily basis, that all
they have to do is mention my name in the title or talk some shit—
because people love conflict and drama—and what happens is they start
telling all their friends, “Hey, did you hear what so-and-so said about
Corey Wayne?” and people start talking about it.

You can go to YouTube and look up any famous person, look up people
like the Kardashians or anybody like that it's in the news, especially
when they have something negative happen in their lives, and
everybody is talking about it. And all you have to do is put their name
in the headline of one of your videos and talk a bunch of shit about
them, and you'll notice that that video gets way more engagement than
average videos do. So, the reality is, haters are actually a good thing in
your life.

Haters are an illustration that you've made it and other people who are
less successful than you are want to be like you. And unfortunately, the

588
way human beings are, when you become really successful, other
people can clout chase and talk shit about you. And what's interesting
is, when you go and watch those videos by those people, you see that
all they've done is stolen my material and try to pass it off as their own
without giving me any credit for it. But that goes with the territory. I
guess as the old saying goes, “Imitation is the sincerest form of
flattery,” even though it's often pretty negative.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/career-issues/36375

589
 Self-Reliance

Wise Words From Wise People

“All of the problems of society such as war, poverty, oppression, lack

of wealth and job opportunities are a direct result of humanity
collectively giving their power away to dishonest, corrupt, morally
compromised, devious, inept, incompetent, phony politicians, and
delusionally hoping that they are doing the right thing, but deep down
knowing that they are fucking us over and only looking out for
themselves. Most people either don’t know how to or don’t want the
responsibility for their own happiness, success and dreams. Therefore,
they stick their heads in the sand and hope that someone else fixes their
problems. This is cognitive dissonance. Collectively seeing what we
want and ignoring the reality of what’s really going on, so we don’t
have to take any personal responsibility for the fact that things are so
fucked up. The only way things will change is when enough people
realize that it’s their personal responsibility to be informed, educated,
free, enlightened and take action to fix things and no longer tolerate
vain and aspiring people selling them a load of bullshit.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

That's why when you look at freedom and liberty as practiced in the
United States versus socialism, collectivism, Marxism, communism—
it really boils down to the individual. What the individual does on his

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own is the result of his or her mindset, how they perceive themselves,
the actions they take, and the actions they are unwilling to take, which
is what really determines their destiny. It's really easy, it feels better, to
be able to say it's somebody else's fault, “It's the evil rich person's fault.
I didn't have enough money. I didn't get the right education. I grew up
in the wrong neighborhood. I don't have the intelligence. I don't have
the time. I need to lose weight first.” These are the kinds of excuses we
tell ourselves. Because the reality is life is hard, and sometimes life
really sucks and we just want to get away from the difficulties and the
challenges. And when somebody comes along that says, “I'm going to
solve all your problems, I'm going to pay your bills, I’m going to take
care of you,” that always comes with consequences, because you're
basically at the mercy of the moral compass of the person that you're
giving your power away to.

Plus, if you believe your success in life is due to someone else outside
of yourself or a set of circumstances happening that are not happening
in your life, you now have completely absolved yourself from any
personal responsibility for where you are in life. And if you don't
believe your own success and happiness is your responsibility, you are
powerless to change it and to do anything about it. All the great success
stories throughout human history have been accomplished by self-
reliant people who had a great vision for themselves, that was
emotionally compelling, and they eventually—through trial-and-error,
refining their approach, and staying committed to their vision—
eventually, they figured out how to make it work.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/wise-words-from-wise-
people/14524

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Self-Doubt & Self-Reliance

“In order to accomplish your mission and purpose in life, you must have
emotional leverage upon yourself. People will do more to avoid
experiencing potential pain in the process of achieving something they
really want, than they will do to experience the potential pleasure of
achieving it. In order to overcome your fears, limiting beliefs and self-
doubts, you must have emotional leverage upon yourself to take action,
in spite of them. That means you must focus on the potential pleasure
and all of the emotionally compelling rewards of what it will be like
when you achieve your grandest goals and dreams. You also must focus
on the potential pain and negative consequences you will experience if
you do not take the action you know you need to take in order to make
success possible. With the proper emotional leverage, you naturally will
move towards what potentially feels good, and away from what
potentially feels bad.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Where I really learned this lesson was back when I was in my early 20s
and I first got into Tony Robbins’ work, and I was going through his 30
Days to Personal Power course. And my problem was that I had several
classes that I had to take, like Calculus being one of them and several
other really difficult math classes for my Engineering degree and
Construction Management, and I was kind of lazy. And because my
mother, her way of trying to motivate me was to say, “Well, you're
stupid. You're not going to amount to anything,” and trying to motivate

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me in a negative way, I had a lot of self-doubt about my capabilities.
And I was worried that my mother was right and I was not smart enough
to succeed, and achieve, and accomplish the things that I wanted to.

And when you're doing Calculus, you have problems that are literally
like two, three, four pages long that you're having to do when you do
all the permutations to get the answer or the result. And so, you actually
have to go through a process to figure out the techniques to get to those
answers. And they were complicated, and they were difficult, and it
took a lot of time. And because I was impatient, I would sit down and
want to be able to just read something like a book or to be able to
memorize a fact or whatever, and then go and take the test and do well
on it, which I did well in those kinds of things.

But when it came to these complicated math problems, or physics, or

engineering classes, or different structural design classes, where you
had to do a lot of math and complicated calculations to figure this stuff
out, what happened was, because I was impatient, I didn’t enjoy doing
it. And so, I associated more pain and unpleasantry with actually sitting
down and doing the homework. And so, what that caused me to do was
to go, “Ah, I’d rather go out with my friends,” “I'd rather watch TV,”
or “I think I'm going to go to bed early, and I'll do it tomorrow,” and so
I associated pleasure with putting it off. And so, what happened is, I
would get two to three weeks into the semester and then have to take
the first test, and then I would try to cram on the weekend for the test,
and then I would get totally overwhelmed after spending two or three
hours and not really getting anywhere, and I’d just end up dropping the
class.

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And after dropping Calculus, I think it was like three times, I finally
recognized, after I went through Tony Robbins’ course, what I was
doing to sabotage my success. I associated pain with studying, and so I
would put it off because putting it off was pleasurable, and I associated,
obviously, more pain with doing what I know I needed to do, so I
wouldn't do anything. And then I would try to cram, and then I would
just end up dropping the class. And so, what I recognized is that I
needed to break those problems down, because we would only get
assigned like two, three, four, maybe five problems of homework, you
know, each time I went and had class.

And so, what I ended up doing was time management; I budgeted my

time to do a few problems every night, and so I would do a little bit
each and every day throughout the week. And so, by the fourth time I
actually was taking Calculus, because I was doing a little bit of work
each night, it wasn't that big of a deal. Even though I didn't want to do
it and it wasn't pleasant, after I budgeted an hour, I would just look at
the time clock and I was like, “Okay, I’m going to spend an hour, hour
and a half, whatever it happens to be, and I’m going to get these few
problems done every night,” instead of letting them pile up for a couple
of weeks and having like 50-60 problems that I needed to do. There was
just no way, physically, there wasn't enough time to actually do it and
go through it.

And so, when I broke it down into little daily achievable goals, I would
think in terms of “Well, what's this going to cost me if I don't do these
two or three problems?” even though it would be really nice to blow it

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off. I would think about, “Well, I’m not going to graduate, and I’m
going to end up wasting more money on a class. I’m going to waste
money on the textbooks. It's going to delay me being able to start my
business. I’m not going to achieve my goals. I’m not going to achieve
my dreams,” and that was really painful when I thought of it that way.
And so, even though I didn't want to sit down to do the homework, I
thought about the payoff: all the goals, and all the dreams and all of the
things that I wanted to accomplish someday that I’d be able to do if I
eventually got this class out of the way.

And when I broke it down like that, even though I didn’t really enjoy
the process at first, after a couple of weeks of this, I realized when I
would budget an hour and a half for time, a lot of times I was getting
my homework done in maybe 45 minutes to sometimes a half hour. And
I actually ended up having more time on my hands, which made me feel
great, and then that, over time, further reinforced it. And then finally,
the fourth time that I took Calculus, I actually ended up getting an A in
it, just because I had budgeted that time, and I did a little bit of it each
day.

It was like the old saying of “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at
a time.” And that's what I was doing, I was eating one bite at a time,
and it became palatable that way. And I eventually graduated college
and then, obviously, if you’ve read my second book, Mastering
Yourself, then you know my story of how I achieved all the amazing
things that I have achieved in my life. And if you follow that same
mindset, that same philosophy, you can achieve the same things in your
own life.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/self-doubt-self-
reliance/26024

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Unlearn What You Have Learned

“In order to reach your full potential in life, you must unlearn what you
have learned. Most everything you have been taught about how the
world really works, why people do what they do and how to get what
you want in life is wrong. You should question everything you have
been taught, instead of just blindly believing what your favorite
politician or pundit says. You should trust in yourself and what feels
right in your heart. When you learn something new, test what you have
learned, instead of just taking it as gospel. Like Albert Einstein said,
“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” It’s
okay to trust what people in authority have to say, but you should verify
it for yourself. Otherwise, you open yourself up to being swindled or
being taken advantage of. Learn to think for yourself, instead of letting
other people think for you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Most people, unfortunately, in this world, simply do not want personal

responsibility for their own lives and their own success. It's much easier
to blame somebody else, to blame luck, to blame circumstances, to
blame the government, to blame the evil bankers, to blame the evil rich
people, to blame good-looking people, to blame people that are more
successful than you as a reason why you don't have the success that you
want in life. You have to participate in your own rescue. And if you're
not happy with the way things are in your own life, you've got to decide

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and take ownership for it and acknowledge that everything that's in your
life is there, because you allowed it into your life and you enabled it.

And so, if you're not happy with it, you're the only person that has
control over doing something about it. Instead of waiting for them to
pass a law to increase the minimum wage so you can earn a living wage,
develop your skills, develop your gifts, develop your talents, grow your
reserve of knowledge, then go find a different employer in your spare
time, when you're not working, who will give you the opportunity that
you're looking for. You are your own free agent; it's up to you to
represent yourself, to go ask for the raise. And if the company you're
working for won't give you that raise or that promotion, start looking
for a different company that you can find, and when you find one that
will give you the opportunities that you want, then you could put in your
two weeks’ notice and leave.

If you just sit around waiting for some politician who’s blowing
sunshine up your ass to get some law passed mandating that
somebody’s got to pay you more, you're never going to reach your full
potential; you're just another mindless drone waiting on the government
and someone, or something, or something else outside of them to save
them. You want to reach your full potential? It's up to you to make that
happen. The world is full of billionaires that come from every social,
religious, economic, and government background that have come to
places in the West, whether it's the United States or Europe, and they’ve
made their own way; they've educated themselves, they filled in their
knowledge gaps, and they’re just glad to have the opportunity. Through

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hard work, time, and repetition, they learn the things they need to learn,
so they can increase the value that they bring to the marketplace. And
as you age, and you get experience, and you get wisdom, the value that
you bring to the marketplace will enable you to get paid and
compensated more. If somebody won't pay you what you feel you’re
worth, it's up to you to go find somebody who will.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/unlearn-what-you-
have-learned/22283

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Consistency & Self Discipline

“If you don’t see any real progress in any area of your life that you want
to improve, it’s going to be really hard to experience consistent joy and
happiness. In order for progress to be possible, you must first have an
emotionally compelling vision for your life. This means having a
purpose, mission and a life’s work that is exciting and compelling to
you. Most people are chasing a non-existent quick fix for everything
that they perceive to be missing from their lives. A great life worth
living starts with a great vision. It usually takes most successful people
a decade or more to learn, develop their skills and find a way to
synthesize and package them up into a successful career or business that
compensates them proportionally to the value that they add to other
people’s lives. Being able to take consistent action and exercise self-
discipline is only possible when you have a burning desire to achieve
or become something that is compelling to you. Until you figure out
what that is, you must keep seeking, searching, researching and
experiencing different things that appeal to you. When you discover
your true purpose, it will light you up inside with a passion, drive and
fire like you’ve never experienced before.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is so hard for a lot of people, men and women both, who are trying
to figure out what their purpose is in life. If you've got a story that
prevents you from even looking towards or moving in the direction of
the things that are exciting and compelling to you, you’re going to come

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up with excuses and you're going to avoid taking action that will move
your life forward; you'll actually move in the opposite direction. And
so, therefore, all of your actions become about avoiding things that,
potentially, will give you pain or cause you to experience unpleasant
emotions.

The best thing to do is keep looking, keep searching, keep moving

towards, and researching, and immersing yourself, and doing things that
are exciting and emotionally compelling to you. Find a way to monetize
your passions. And a way to speed up your success is to look to find
other people in your industry or who are already doing what you would
love to do at the highest level. Either go work for them, internship for
them, take them out for a cup of coffee or lunch or dinner, or just go
meet them in their office and pick their brain.

Because when you do that, you're sitting down with somebody that's
got thousands and thousands of hours experimenting and doing trial and
error on things that didn't work out. And so, they know exactly what
will work and what won't work and, therefore, you can apply the most
important things, the most important actions that are the most efficient
to move you from where you are to where you want to be, without
having to reinvent the wheel. That's why it’s so important to find good
mentors and people that you can model their success, because by
modeling the success of other successful people, you will speed up your
timeline of how you go from where you are to where you want to be in
life.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/consistency-self-
discipline/20671

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The Ugly Truth About Self Help

“In order to reach your full potential in life, you must participate in your
own rescue. You must accept complete ownership of where you are
right now along with your present circumstances. The only way you can
change your destiny is if you adopt the mindset that everything in your
life happens for a reason and is the way it is due to your previous
choices and actions. Blaming others or circumstances outside of
yourself is weakness and an excuse to do nothing to move your life
forward and absolve yourself from any personal responsibility. Nobody
is coming to save you. You must do that yourself.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

That's the definition of self-help: it's you helping yourself, not relying
upon the government or someone, or something, or luck to turn things
around for you; it's recognizing that you're simply not satisfied with
where you are in life, and you're tired of living this way, and getting the
point where you're so sick of it and you're so over it that, that internally,
you say to yourself, “Never again. Never will I ever live this way again.
I'm going to do something right now to move my life forward, and I'm
not going to look back. And I’m going to continue to take action
towards the things that I want, because I'm so unsatisfied and
dissatisfied with the way things are.” When people hit that wall and
they experience that pain and they can't take it anymore, that's when
they're open to making the changes in their life for the better.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-ugly-truth-about-
self-help/38106

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Success Is Your Birthright

“It is your birthright to be successful. You are a divine being whose

birthright is to have life work out for you in the best way possible. When
you focus on finding something you feel inspired to become great at, or
something you love doing for a living, it gives you focus, energy, a
sense of purpose and makes you feel like you are living the life that you
capable of living. Surround yourself with others who are seeking their
own greatness and who encourage you to seek your own. When we
believe in our own greatness and our own ability to create success for
ourselves, and then we take relentless, consistent action towards our
goals and dreams, we then are creating the conditions for our dream life
to manifest slowly and effortlessly over time. The better you become,
the more successful you will feel and the more your life circumstances
will start to match your dreams and goals. Time, repetition and
adaptation is the key to perfecting yourself and your life.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

If you believe in your own greatness, you're going to take actions based
upon that feeling. You're going to move towards the things that are
exciting and compelling to you, and that will make it easier to continue
moving forward towards unpleasant things, or having to tolerate a job
you don't really like, but it's a necessary stepping stone to get from
where you are to where you want to be. If you expect life to work out
in your favor, if you have positive expectations about a positive result,

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you’ll continually stay motivated to take action on a daily basis, trying
to improve a little bit each and every day.

Success begins and ends with you. Never look to others, or the
government, or people, or circumstances outside of yourself for your
happiness or to give you the things that you feel are missing in your
life. You have to go out and make things happen yourself. You can't
just sit back and wait for things to happen; you’ve got to take action,
and, eventually, the right opportunities, and the right people, and the
right circumstances will show up right on time.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/success-is-your-
birthright/16666

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Do The Right Thing

“It is important to operate from a place of integrity and live your highest
truth at all times. Even when others do not. You should treat other
people as you would like to be treated. If you have people in your life,
whether they be friends, lovers, family, etc., who are not treating you
right, you have to stand up for yourself and make it clear what you are
willing and not willing to tolerate. If they continue to violate yourself
and your dignity, then you must exclude them from your life until they
either start treating you how you want to be treated or they disappear to
find their own way without you. If you continue to allow abusive
behavior, you are simply enabling and inviting them to continue to
mistreat you. It is a privilege for others to be a part of your life, not a
right.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

You’ve got to think of yourself being like the king of your kingdom,
and it's up to you to determine who you're going to allow into your
kingdom and also who you're going to allow to stay in your kingdom.
Because the kind of people that you allow and that you tolerate, you’re
sending out a signal to the universe and the rest of the world that you
want more of those people, and the universe tends to send you more of
those people.

Like attracts like; you are who you associate with. And so, when you
associate with low integrity people, you attract more low integrity
people. If you have a company of mostly A players and you tolerate B

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and C players, eventually, those A players are going to get sick of
working with people that are B and C players and not playing at the
same level. You want people that are great, that are exceptional at what
they do, if you see yourself as an exceptional person and you operate as
an exceptional person.

If you date and hang out with women that are loyal and faithful, but yet
you have friends who don't have integrity, who lie, who cheat, these are
the kind of people that will try to sleep with your wife, or your
girlfriend, or steal from you, or screw you over, ask you for money and
then never pay you back. It's really important that you see it being a
privilege; that the right people that are in your life are there because it’s
a privilege, not a right. In other words, you can revoke that privilege
when they don't live up to your expectations, and especially if you set
healthy boundaries and they continue to violate them. Whatever you
tolerate you invite more of into your life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/do-the-right-
thing/14578

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Approval-Seeking Beta Male

“If a potential lover does not see your value when you are going through
your struggles and challenges on your journey to success, they do not
deserve to share in your triumphs, successes, victories and good times.
Never demean yourself by seeking to change your life, give up your
dreams or become something you are not in an effort to win the
approval and love of someone who will only date or love you if certain
conditions are met. Someone who truly loves you will happily join and
support you on your journey to reaching your full potential, not be
willing to join you only after you have reached it. Love is about giving,
not horse-trading.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Love is allowing, and if you’re with the right person, she's going to
allow you to be who you really are. Not only is she going to allow it,
but she’s going to encourage it, she's going to celebrate it, she's going
to nurture it. She's going to push you to be better, to do better. When
you're having a difficult day, she's going to have a positive word of
encouragement and help you believe in yourself and what you're
capable of doing, just like a really good, supportive friend is going to
be able to do, or other friends or family who have the same supportive
and nurturing nature.

If you’ve got people that are constantly trying to sandbag your success
and you allow them to stay in your life and continue to violate the
healthy boundaries that you set, you’re never going to reach your full

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potential, because you’re always going to be constantly questioning
yourself and wondering and doubting whether or not you're doing the
right thing for you.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/approval-seeking-beta-
male/23822

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Broken Dates, Doubts & Inconsistencies

“Human beings tend to project their fears, doubts, weird hang-ups,

idiosyncrasies, mistakes, faults and flaws onto other people in order to
deflect blame and not take any responsibility for their own mistakes,
screw-ups and actions. It’s how most people delude themselves into
believing it’s someone else’s fault or responsibility for the problems or
things that aren’t going well in their lives. A key to success is taking
personal responsibility for everything that happens in your life; that way
you can make changes, adapt your approach and take corrective action
when necessary, instead of living a lie and getting nowhere.” ~ Coach
Corey Wayne

If you find yourself always complaining about women and how women
are, that you don't like the way they are and that the same thing keeps
happening over and over, or you keep meeting the same kind of women
over and over, then you’ve really got to take a hard look at yourself and
how you're showing up. You're either interacting with the wrong people
or you're using a shitty strategy that is causing you to attract the wrong
kind of people into your life.

You’ve got to accept the fact that, whether it's your dating life, or your
professional life, or your social life, that everyone and everything that's
there is there because you invited them in, you allowed them in. And if
you're not happy with it, it's up to you to change it, because as soon as
you point the finger at other people, you’re absolving yourself from any

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personal responsibility; and if it's not your fault, then you don't have to
take any action to change it. But, obviously, if you're not happy with
the things that are in your life, the people that are in your life, or the
circumstances that are in your life, you’ve got to participate in your own
rescue. It's up to you to make the changes, take the corrective action,
and move towards the things you really want in life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/broken-dates-doubts-
inconsistencies/14392

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A Clean Slate

“Everyone goes through transition periods in their lives where they start
to feel stuck, like their internal enthusiasm for their lives is no longer
what it once was, and an internal drive starts to push us to make changes
and move in a new direction. Success and happiness comes from feeling
like you are making progress. Growth as a human being is an essential
human need, and if you do not feel like you are growing and expanding
as a person, you will feel like your life is lacking in purpose, meaning
and value. Why? Lack of growth causes the feeling that you are not
making progress. In order to reach your full potential, you must always
have emotionally compelling goals and dreams you are pursuing, and
emotionally compelling reasons why you want them. Without having
emotionally compelling and worthwhile goals and dreams to pursue or
aspire to, you will feel like your life lacks meaning, purpose and often
like it’s worthless or pointless. The whole purpose of life is to enjoy it,
not to simply find a way to get through it.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I started out when I was 18 years old; my goal, my dream, who I wanted
to become was all about learning how to buy, fix, and sell single-family
homes for a profit. That was my dream. And I went through college
working for other people, and then, by the time I was 28, (literally a
decade later), I finally was making six figures. While, within a couple
of years of that, I had already gotten bored with flipping houses. I
wanted a better opportunity. I was looking for the bigger, better deal, if

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you will. I was looking for a way to create an additional stream of
income in my business, and I was slowly losing enthusiasm for flipping
and fixing up foreclosure properties.

And what I started to recognize, which I never imagined that this was
going to happen to me when I was young, and it was kind of shocking
to me, but what happens, as you eventually start achieving the things
you love and you enjoy, what happens is, it's like climbing to the top of
the mountain, and you're kind of like, “Hey, that was great, but what's
next? Is this all there is?” And you start thinking, “What's next?” And
so, you’ve got to follow your heart, your curiosity, your intuition,
because as you go through life, and just like me, I eventually ended up,
after several years after that, got completely out of the real estate and
mortgage business as a full-time endeavor. And now, it's only
something that I do for fun occasionally.

I still look at things and see what they can be when they're fixed up and
they’re renovated, but it's no longer my sole focus in life and how I go
about earning a living. And now, the fact that I'm a life coach—you
know, I wrote one book, I’ve got my second book out, obviously, this
quote book is now my third book. I got into making educational, high-
quality documentaries—I never even imagined when I was 18 years old
that I would be making high-quality documentaries; I'm basically a
moviemaker now, I never expected that. But I just kind of followed my
life path and followed the opportunities, and when things came along,
or I became excited or enthusiastic about things, the right people tended
to show up.

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When I was thinking and contemplating about doing different types of
videos, I ended up running into a guy through another mutual friend and
we had similar goals, similar values, similar political beliefs, he's a
filmmaker. And the more we talked and got to know one another, we
just started brainstorming and we started putting these documentaries
together, and it's a lot of fun. I'm really proud of those different
documentaries that we've done, which you can see my YouTube
channel, and Instagram and on my website, which are all educational-
focused.

But if you look at the back of any of my books, there's a quote in the
back by Thomas Jefferson, and it says, “Enlighten the people generally,
and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil
spirits at the dawn of day.” That is the statement that perfectly illustrates
what my purpose is. And so, through the books, the videos, the articles,
my coaching, my website—all of the things that I do are to facilitate
achieving that purpose. And so, by being open to new things and new
opportunities and recognizing—like in the old days, people would get
a job or career, they'd work their whole lives, they’d retire with a
pension, and that would be it for them. Whereas nowadays, it's pretty
common for people to change jobs or careers every two to three years.

That's why being flexible, and open, and just kind of learning to trust in
yourself and trust in your heart and what feels good, great opportunities
will just present themselves, and then you jump on them when they
show up, because you're ready and you're prepared, and you're kind of
looking for it. It's magical how it works.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/a-clean-slate/26639

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38 Ways To Improve Your Emotional Health

“How we move our bodies has a tremendous impact on the emotions

we experience internally. The quickest way to change our emotional
state is to change how we are physically moving. Everyone has days
that are full of challenges that often bring about negative emotions, and
this has a negative effect on how we are feeling internally. The key to
managing your emotional state is how you physically move and what
you mentally focus on day in and day out. Where do you live
emotionally? The more positive and optimistic you are, the happier and
richer your life experience will be. The more negative and pessimistic
you are, the more disappointing and depressing your life experience
will be. Choose wisely.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

So, a quick way to change your state, if you think about it, when you
see somebody, say a player that just won a championship, what do they
typically do? Are they sitting down, relaxed, and laying on the floor?
No, they typically get on their feet, they jump up and down, and what
they do with their hands? They raise them above their head with their
fists, and they jump up and down, they tend to look up, and they smile.
And this is what you see when somebody does something great. When
you see Tiger Woods winning, what does he do? He jumps up, throws
his fists in the air. It's just something, naturally, that's innate to us
humans.

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And so, if you're feeling crappy and you're having a bad day, and you
want to change your internal state, you can do that physically,
instantaneously, by getting up on your feet, closing your eyes and
jumping up and down, just like you won the championship. Just like the
girl of your dreams just said “Yes” to the first date, or just like you made
a great trade with your stock, or sold the stock, and you made a bunch
of money, or maybe you just closed that big deal in business that you’ve
been working on for six months. Take a victory lap, take a victory
dance.

Even if it hasn't happened yet, and you’re doubting that it’s going to
work, and you recognize you're not in a resourceful state, just stand up
and jump up and down. Close your eyes and imagine what it's like, feel
the emotions that you would feel as if this is something that had just
happened to you. After you do this for about 30 seconds or a minute,
your blood's going to be moving, your endorphins are going to be
moving, you're going to be smiling more, you’re going to feel more.
You're going to be feel charged up, you’re going to feel more alive. And
it’s the quickest way to change your state when you're feeling like shit.

Because it's not bad to feel like shit, but there are times where you have
to delay really getting into your negative emotions. Maybe you’ve got
a big meeting that's getting ready to come up, and the last thing you
want to do is go and do your presentation in the meeting. Well, close
your office door and jump up and down, put some music on, some
positive music that makes you feel inspired, and imagine yourself, that
the meeting goes really great, and you have the best meeting that you've

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ever had in your life. You imagine it, you daydream about it, and you
jump up and down like a champion. And this will completely change
your internal state just by moving your body physically. It can be a great
tool when you're in a really negative, unresourceful state, to get yourself
out of it. It's a pattern interrupt.

It’s a pattern interrupt of the negative way you are thinking and feeling,
because if you move your body, your brain doesn't know the difference;
your brain believes you just won the championship, because that's what
it feels like. And, therefore, physically, your mind and your brain and
your body respond to those positive thoughts in the same way
proportionally that when you're responding to negative thoughts and
you're sitting down, you’re hunched over, you’re in that depressive kind
of physiology, looking at the ground, your head is down, your shoulders
are slumped forward. But all you have to do is jump up and down like
you’re a champion. Imagine it, believe it, feel it. Even though it's
temporary, it will completely change your state; just try it.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/38-ways-to-improve-
your-emotional-health/27045

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Days Of Being Super-Hot Are Gone Forever

“How we perceive ourselves determines how we treat our bodies.

Happy people tend to take better care of their bodies than the average
person. High achievers tend to be in better shape, eat better quality food
and therefore, simply look better and be more sexually attractive to
members of the opposite sex. Our internal happiness increases our
sexual attractiveness. Cultivating a life of inner peace and success
comes from having a life and lifestyle you love with the kinds of people
you love spending it with. Having a healthy body means you will
physically feel better about yourself and your life, in addition to looking
physically better and, therefore, more sexually attractive. When your
heart, lifestyle and life’s work are totally aligned, you’ll naturally
radiate success, inner peace and well-being to everyone you encounter.
You attract how you act. Find a way to make it easy to be awesome and
love your life, and you will draw an endless flow of like-minded people
to you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

If you want to be the most attractive person that you can be, that's why
it's critically important to work out with weights and train properly, to
build your body up, to do cardio exercise. To eat good, healthy, alkaline
style foods, meaning plenty of green juices—such as the video and
article I did years ago, How to Make Corey's Green Juice, and having
things like Corey's Green Alkaline Smoothie, which there also is a video
and article that you can look up and see how I make those—in addition

621
to eating plenty of proteins. I, personally, eat chicken, fish, turkey, and,
occasionally, if I'm at a good place that has really good steaks, I might
occasionally have a nice filet. I don't like to eat steak that's all chewy
like rubber, which you’re typically going to get at most restaurants;
that's why most of the time, my protein intake is chicken, fish, turkey,
and then, obviously, a vegetarian style protein powder that I typically
have in the morning or once or twice a day with different meals.

And I limit my carbohydrate intake, and I almost never eat any kind of
sugary thing anymore, because I’ve had skin cancer twice. And I’ve just
come to realize that these things are not good for my body, and plus, I
like looking good. And that’s why everybody tells me that I tend to look
10-15 years younger than I actually am, because I just simply take better
care of myself. But for me, personally, it's a matter of life and death. I
have to do these things. If I don't, I know I'm going to end up with some
kind of skin cancer or, who knows, even worse as I get older.

And so, when you love yourself and you value yourself, you're going to
take better care of your body; it’s the only place that you have to live.
And that's why, when you're in better shape, you can wear tighter fitting
clothing and you can get away with shorts, and T-shirts, and flip-
flops—like I tend to do in South Florida, because it’s so damn hot and
humid down here—than somebody that’s all dressed up in a nice suit.
So, anything that you can do to improve the quality of your life and take
care your body is going to help you control the things you have control
over, and that will help you be the most attractive person that you can
be, so you can get the best quality women to date you.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/days-of-being-super-
hot-are-gone-forever/33986

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How To Make The World’s Best Salad

“The best and healthiest salads are salads prepared with essential
alkaline green vegetables such as avocados, green peppers, celery,
cucumbers and spinach. You should look at food as the building blocks
of a healthy, vibrant and energetic body. Your cells need good healthy
food to build healthy cells, remove toxins and waste, and to stay alive,
vibrant and functioning at peak levels. Weak, damaged and unhealthy
cells impair the functioning of your human organism. Seventy to eighty
percent alkaline forming ingredients of a salad plate should be taken up
with green vegetables. Twenty to thirty percent acid forming
ingredients of the plate should be taken up by fish, turkey or chicken;
and raw pecans, almonds, walnuts, brazil nuts, hazelnuts, macadamia
nuts, hemp seed, apples, croutons, strawberries, raspberries, raisins, etc.
Salad dressings should be used sparingly. The secret of a great salad is
lots of variety of textures, ingredients and tastes.” ~ Coach Corey
Wayne

Most people don't get enough greens in their diet—this includes green
vegetables such as spinach and other leafy greens—so in order to be
really healthy, and what's great about eating this way and eating a more
alkaline type of diet, is you’re giving your body the kinds of foods that
it needs to cleanse and detox it properly. And because most people just
simply don't have a lot of greens in their diet, they really never realize

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or get to experience what it's like to feel vibrant and healthy and have
sharp mental clarity.

I’ve been eating this way for close to 20 years now, and it was an
absolute paradigm shift for me. I used to have lots of colds, I'd get the
flu all the time, several times a year. I had skin rashes, I had skin
problems most of my life. I couldn't breathe through both of my
nostrils—usually, one was closed up all the way, the other one was
closed up part of the way. And when I got into my early 30s and I started
juicing green vegetables and eating a lot more greens and salads, and
cutting back on the carbs and other things that were more acid-forming,
my nasal passages opened up and any excess weight that I had just
slowly came off over time. It was a complete, absolute paradigm shift
for me.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/how-to-make-the-
worlds-best-salad/14720

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Relationships: Be Happy With You First

“It’s a flawed romantic fantasy created by Hollywood that another

human being will make you happy by completing you. The best thing
you can do for yourself in order to have happy and successful
relationships is to get to a place where you love your life and how you
spend it. It is only once we arrive at a place internally, where we feel
really good about ourselves and love our life and lifestyle, that we
create a healthy space in our lives that can be filled up by someone to
love and complement our life. In order to love effortlessly and in a
healthy way, we must feel that we have more than enough to give. If
we feel that we are lacking in any way, we will be seeking to find our
happiness in another by focusing on needing them, instead of wanting,
loving and giving to them unconditionally in order to add to their
happiness. Love is about giving, not taking what you feel you lack.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

You see this a lot in movies. You have somebody that, you’ve got a
man, or you’ve got a woman that's unhappy, and they're not enjoying
their lives, and they’re dreaming about finding the perfect person to
complete them, to fill them up with what they see as missing from their
lives. And then eventually, somebody comes along—the perfect
person—they fix each other's flaws and faults, and they complete the
other. That sounds nice in movies, but in the real world, that simply is
not going to work long-term.

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You want to get to a place in life where you really do enjoy your own
company, you can actually get up every day and find enough things to
do on your own or with friends that you find meaning in and happiness
and joy in. If you can get to a place, by creating a great life and lifestyle,
where you're loving your life, that is going to be what makes you most
attractive to members of the opposite sex. That's why attraction and
dating and relationships boils down to you taking care of you and
getting to a place that you really enjoy hanging out by yourself, and you
really enjoy the hell out of being single, but having somebody to share
your time with sure would be a nice complement.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/relationships-be-
happy-with-you-first/14643

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Mastering The Art Of Letting Go

“Leaders, and those who are actually doing things that others only
dream or talk about, get attacked and questioned by those who are
fearful and too weak to live their lives with the same kind of resolve,
determination and confidence that winners do. Success and your
happiness is a direct result of taking action to get what you want, and
then letting go of any attachment you have to the way you think things
should turn out. Mastering the art of letting go is essential to happiness,
leadership and staying in the present moment. It’s being okay with any
and all outcomes. Success is never a straight line to your destination.
There will always be obstacles, setbacks and failures that must be
transcended and learned from in order to accomplish your grandest
goals and dreams. Getting to your destination is glorious and rewarding,
but learning to enjoy the journey and accept your present reality is what
makes sustained fulfillment and happiness a possibility. Why? If you’re
only focused on the destination, happiness and fulfillment will only be
temporary.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This is where most people give up on their goals and their dreams, is
when they start experiencing lots of failure, lots of obstacles, lots of
resistance, lots of challenges, lots of things not working out, people not
being willing to help them that they were hoping to get their help. This
is just part of life; this is part of the process. You’ve got to think in
terms of prospecting. When you’re trying to move forward towards the

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things that you want, you’re going to be encountering resistance and
challenges. You should be expecting them, and looking forward to
them, and being excited about them so you can overcome them, because
they are absolutely a necessary part of the process.

But the average person that doesn't know any better and who has a weak
mindset, as soon as they start encountering challenges, setbacks,
failures, and obstacles, they don't like how this makes them feel. And
so, therefore, they start focusing on all the pain and the unpleasantness
that they’re experiencing, and then they start moving towards the
pleasure of doing nothing or getting something that is stable and safe
and doesn't really require much risk. And when you become totally risk-
averse, it's impossible to move your life forward and move towards the
things that you want. And then, what happens in order to make your ego
feel better is that you come up with a story to justify doing nothing to
help yourself. And then, once that story is developed, and you believe
it, and you’re convinced of it, you're totally demoralized, and you then
become totally unable to do anything to change and shape your destiny.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/mastering-the-art-of-
letting-go/27418

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 A Life Of Ease & Delight

Living & Dating In The Present Moment

“It’s always best to live your life focused on the present moment and
what you need to do right now. Why? You can’t do anything about the
past, and the future is not here yet. Most people’s minds tend to be
occupied with thoughts about their past or what may or may not happen
in the future. When you are not focused on the present moment and
what actions you need to take right now to create the future you want,
you create a vibration of uncertainty, inaction, procrastination, fear,
doubt, mistakes and worry. Just like professional athletes can suddenly
lose a game they were winning when they shift their focus to what just
happened or what may or may not happen in the future, instead of
staying focused on the actions that they need to take right now, your
life, relationships, career, business, health and things that are most
important to you can also unravel and get off track in a very short period
of time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This really is an essential skill to master if you're determined to reach

your full potential. It's focusing on “What do I need to do right now to
move my life forward in the present moment?”; getting busy taking
action. Because, if you're sitting back and you're not taking action,
you're often going to be worried about what may or may not happen in
631
the future or dwelling on what didn't work out for you in the past. This
causes you to do nothing to move your life forward, or to avoid doing
the things you know you need to do to move your life forward, because
you're too fearful and focused on the future or you’re stuck in the past.

Living in the present moment is the only moment that exists, and the
more you can train your mind and your mindset to focus on the actions
you need to take right now—even if you start the day, you're full of fear
and you're worried—if you just put your head down, work on your to-
do list, and do the things that are most important to you and focus on
trying to get better, when you're 10, 15, 20 minutes in towards taking
action and doing work, you start to lose yourself in that work, and then
you forget about the past, you forget about the future, because you're so
focused on what you're doing right now.

If you feel fearful, the most important thing you can do to get out of
that fearful state is to take action on things that need to be a priority and
lose yourself in the process of taking that action. And then what
happens is, time just flies by. It's amazing how quickly time will fly by
when you're really busy. And, after you spend several hours taking a lot
of action, you're going to feel good about yourself, because you’ve been
productive taking actions that are meaningful.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/living-dating-in-the-
present-moment/17065

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Always Be Positive, Playful & Charming

“If you seek, you will find. When it comes to a relationship, you should
always be seeking the highest form of the expression of love. See and
expect the best in the other person and act accordingly. If you expect
that things will always work out in your favor in the long run, then they
usually will. If you expect the worst, that you are being lied to, that you
won’t be loved or that things won’t work out, you will focus on making
happen exactly what you are trying to avoid. Decide ahead of time that
you will be happy and grateful no matter how the other person shows
up. After all, the purpose of all relationships is that you go there to give.
That way you will create a space that they may give you their best.
However, if they give you their worst despite your open heart, you can
walk away with peace of mind that you did everything you could to
love them unconditionally, but that they simply weren’t capable of
giving you what you wanted and deserved.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

It's really helpful, from a mindset perspective, to decide ahead of time

that “I'm going to be happy. I'm going to love my life. I'm going to be
at peace with my relatives. I'm going to have relationships with people
and I’m going have friendships with people that also act from integrity,
and are optimistic and positive,” because this sets the pace. You are,
after all, the king or queen of your kingdom. And, therefore, whatever
you tolerate, whatever you allow in your life, you invite more of that.

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And, therefore, if you're always a happy person, and you’re positive and
you’re optimistic, when you get around somebody that is a sourpuss,
eventually, they’re going to resent the fact that you're so happy, because
they’re such a miserable person. And, therefore, they are going to react
to you in a negative manner. And the best way to respond to that is by
going with the flow and diffusing it with humor and playfulness. But,
if that person insists on being a sourpuss on a regular basis, it’s just best
to no longer spend your time with them and manage the distance, so to
speak.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/always-be-positive-
playful-charming/17231

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Rebuilding Attraction, Love, Romance & Intimacy

“If your wife or girlfriend has lost her attraction to you and her interest
in sex, it is because she has shut down to you emotionally. As a man, it
is your job to open her up to feel safe and comfortable again by being
the leader, courting her properly and most importantly, asking high
quality questions that make her feel like you really love and care about
who she is as a woman, so that she feels like you understand her. Only
then will you create the conditions where she will want to open back up
to receive you physically. Until she is open again, shut up, ask quality
questions and be a great listener.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Many of the phone sessions that I do with clients are with guys that are
trying to re-attract their wife or their girlfriend. Oftentimes, they’re
already involved in marriage or couples or family counseling, and yet
their wives are still not attracted to them or re-attracted them, and still
don't have any desire to have sex. This is a result of displaying
unattractive behaviors and not communicating properly, in a way that
she feels heard and understood. Because if a woman doesn't feel heard
and understood, the legs are going to close; she's going to put walls up,
she’s going to put barriers up to you.

And that's why it's so critically important that a great thing you can do
every day when you come home from work is to say, “Hey babe, how
was your day? What's new? Tell me about it. Don't leave anything out.”
Be sincerely, authentically interested in what's going on in her life. If

636
she's upset about something, “Well, tell me about that. Why are you
upset? How did that make you feel?” Get her to talk about her feelings
and her emotions. “What else? Tell me more.” Those are the kinds of
things that you want to say, because if you care, you'll ask and you’ll
want to listen. If you don't care, you won't be concerned about it, and
you'll never ask, and you'll never listen and, eventually, she’ll get tired
of it and leave you for somebody else that does take the time.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/rebuilding-attraction-
love-romance-intimacy/14220

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Success Is Facilitated By Quality Peers

“It’s much more effective to see people as they are and judge them by
their actions, instead of trying to change them or get them to conform
to the way you think they should be. Wanting other people to be
different and act differently than they consistently act, is a sure-fire way
to make yourself incredibly frustrated and make very little progress
towards what you want. Just like not accepting the reality of our life
circumstances causes us to suffer, not accepting the true nature of the
people in our lives and wanting them to be different than how they
really are will also make us suffer. In order to be efficient, effective,
and attain the level of success that we want in our lives, we need to have
friends, acquaintances, and coworkers whose goals and values are
aligned with the vision that we have for our lives. It’s impossible to get
to where you want to be when you have key people in your life who do
not share the same vision and outcome that you do. To get unstuck and
move forward, you need to attract and align yourself with people who
share the same vision and passion that you do and who want to help you
achieve it.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

In Jim Collins’ book From Good to Great, where he goes and he takes
five or six historically really good, strong companies that have been
around for many decades, what they were looking at was what made
these companies consistently good. Because we've all seen companies
that do really well and they flourish with a great CEO, but if that great

638
CEO is not great at getting a great culture that can survive beyond his
input or him being the CEO, what happens when that great CEO leaves,
the company tends to fall apart and their profits and their revenues go
in the toilet. But truly great companies that stand the test of time have
great cultures and they have great people.

And what's interesting is that, as they put it, the example in the book,
you have to get the right people on the bus and in the right positions.
Because if you have the wrong people on the bus and you put them in
the wrong positions, your company, your organization, your life, your
social life, your personal life, you're never going to reach your full
potential, because you have people that are doing the wrong jobs, or
people that are in the wrong places, or you're dating the wrong kind of
people altogether, or spending your time with the wrong kind of people.
And this can create total chaos in your life and totally demoralize you
over time. So, you’ve got to kind of think of yourself and your life kind
of like a business, like a corporation, if you will. And you need to have
the right people on your bus and in the right positions that are all excited
to be there; your goals, your values, your hobbies, your interests are all
aligned and everybody's working in sync with one another.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/success-is-facilitated-
by-quality-peers/17775

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Good Women

“Good people, good friends and good lovers are hard to come by in a
world full of mediocre people who are obsessed with instant
gratification and living lives that are less than they are capable of living.
Exceptional people, who are being all that they can be, tend to repulse,
frustrate and irritate average and mediocre people. Water seeks its own
level. Like attracts like. People who like the same things tend to like
each other. Lots of people talk about what they are going to do, but few
actually have the courage, heart and determination to see their plans and
promises through to fruition. When someone or something feels right
internally, we should trust that inner voice and intuition to see where it
leads. Conversely, when someone or something feels off, we should
become skeptical and proceed with caution. Rejection should not be
taken personally. It should simply be a sign of incompatibility. Only a
select few are meant to be in your life, be your friend, lover, client or
teammate. Choose wisely, as poor choices lead to pain and setbacks.”
~ Coach Corey Wayne

The reality is, most of the people that you're going to meet in life don't
belong in your life or your inner circle. This is why circulating, whether
it's your personal life, in your professional career, circulating new
clients and client prospects, if you're looking for investors for your
startup or your company, you want to continually move and circulate
and meet other people. Because just like science says, bodies in motion

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tend to stay in motion, bodies at rest tend to stay at rest. And in order to
get from where you are to where you want to be, you have the move,
you have to take action.

And it’s in the process of taking action while you're learning that other
opportunities, other circumstances, other people present themselves.
And when they present themselves, you can take advantage of that
opportunity. But if you're not moving and you’re not circulating, you're
not getting enough prospects to prime the pump, so to speak, on
whatever part of your life that you're trying to improve. You’ve got to
get out there and move. Panache Desai said, “Life happens when you
move, stagnation happens when you die.”

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/good-women/36335

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Soul Mates & 2nd Chances

“Every person that comes into your life is there for a reason. There are
no accidents. Our relationships and interactions with other people serve
a purpose. That purpose is to help each other grow, become more and
help us reach our full potential. However, not everyone is going to stay
in your life forever. People who are meant to be in your life will make
the effort to stick around. People who are just passing through often
will be gone just as quickly as they came. Therefore, do not become
attached to people, but instead simply focus on being grateful for your
shared experiences, no matter how long or how short they may be.
Sometimes, it might be many months or even years before you are able
to look back and understand the gift that they were, the wisdom they
gave you, the purpose and reason why they came into your life, and
why they did or did not stick around.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

I spent my whole life studying different world religions, and

spirituality, and science, and just trying to understand the nature of
reality and the whole purpose of life. And what I've come to believe in
is that life is a series of incarnations of our soul. In other words, I believe
in reincarnation, I believe that we incarnate over, and over, and over so
we can perfect our souls and become better human beings. And people
we may have treated poorly or who treated us poorly in past lives will
show up in this life, so we can have an opportunity to heal the wrongs
that we did to each other in a past life. If we’re going around doing

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crummy things to other people, well, like attracts like; the universe, true
karma, will bring somebody else around into our life, so we experience
the negative consequences of that. You really do reap what you sow in
life if you really take a step back and look at the circumstances of your
life and the people that are in it. They're all there for a reason, they're
all there to facilitate your growth in becoming a better human being and
a better soul.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/soul-mates-2nd-
chances/21475

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I Want To Win Her Back!

“Learning to practice infinite patience and stick to your ideals, values

and goals often feels impossible when you are in a fearful state. Fear of
the future and feeling not good enough will make anyone try and force
things to happen, in order to gain certainty about the future and have a
sense of peace about one’s current life circumstances. The key is to do
whatever it takes to get yourself into a peaceful and relaxed state and
let go of any attachments to your outcomes and the timeframes you
expect things to happen. The reality is that things never work out
exactly as you expect them to, but when you can look back upon your
current situation in the future, you can always see that things worked
out perfectly anyway. People who are meant to be in your life will
willingly choose to be there if you give them the time, space and
freedom to choose you willingly, instead of trying to force things.
Otherwise, you’ll drive them right out of your life and talk them out of
liking and loving you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

This reminds me of a situation that I wrote about in my first book, How

To Be A 3% Man. I had finally gotten a date with this girl that I had
known, and I was really into her for several years, but she always had a
boyfriend. And so, we went out we had a really great first date, we had
an absolute blast together. And then, I remember I ended up sending
her an email because I wanted to go out on a second date, and after I
didn't hear anything for several days, I’m thinking, “Why didn’t she

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respond? I can't believe she's fucking ignoring me. We just had this
great fucking date where we spent the whole day together on the lake
jet skiing, and it was just an absolute blast.” And so, I got impatient. I
assumed that she didn't like me and that she was dicking me around and
blowing me off, (this is before the term ‘ghosting’ came into vogue),
and then I sent her this nasty email being upset with her.

And then about four or five days later I get a response from her, and I
find out that she had actually been away, she'd gone to New Orleans for
Mardi Gras with a bunch of friends, and, obviously, didn't check her
email until she got back in town and logged on to her computer. And
then she sent this email telling me where she was and why she hadn’t
responded, and, obviously, she was pretty peeved. And I'm thinking,
“Ugh.” When I got that I felt like such a douchebag, I felt like such a
chump. And so, I sent her, obviously, an apology back, I sent her
flowers, and she just never responded, and I totally blew it, all because
I became impatient.

Dating is kind of like playing tennis: you hit the ball over the net yet,
and you’ve got to wait for the other person to hit it back. Because you
never know. Maybe they got sick, maybe they ended up in the hospital,
maybe some kind of emergency happened. You’ve just got to let people
be. You put the invitation out there, and you wait until something comes
back. And, oftentimes, you’re not going to see anything come back. But
in this particular case, if I had just sent that email and just waited and
forgotten about it and moved on, I would've gotten a positive response,
you know, a week or so later when she got back in town, and I would’ve
been able to go out on a second date, and I would’ve been able to have

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a great experience with her. But instead, I robbed myself of that
opportunity, because I was totally impatient, I was needy, I was
insecure, I was too attached to an outcome, and I just didn't know her
well enough to know what was going on in her life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/i-want-to-win-her-
back/34152

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Alpha Female

“An Alpha female is beautiful, confident, successful, takes care of

herself and is used to leading in all areas of her personal and
professional life. She is not going to tolerate half-ass effort, weakness,
shy or timid men. She knows her worth, wants a true equal and will not
settle for less than she knows she deserves. She has her choice with men
and wants a man who has choice with women. The only way to attract
an Alpha female is to be at the top of your game in all areas of your
personal and professional life. Not being intimidated by her beauty and
sex appeal, her confidence, and to continually pass her tests of your
strength to demonstrate through your example, that you are worthy.
Only then will you exude the vibe and certainty that will make her feel
safe and comfortable enough to willingly submit to your leadership of
the relationship.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Most guys tend to be intimidated by beautiful, successful women. The

reality is if a woman is gorgeous, she takes amazing care of her body,
she comes from a good family, her parents filled her bucket of self-
esteem to the point where the world can't drain it dry, if you will, and
therefore, she wants a man who has a similar level of mindset and belief
in himself and his ability to get the things that he wants in life. She
doesn't want a guy that she's going to drag across the finish line, she
doesn't want a guy that she has to lead. She wants a guy that she

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admires, that she respects, that she looks up to, and that she would love
to follow and become part of his vision and his life.

And guys that don't have their shit together or that are kissing her ass
and telling her how beautiful she is and how amazing she is, she's been
hearing that since she was a little girl, it is meaningless to her. Women
don't care how much you like them; they only care about how they feel
about you. And if you have your shit together, and you’re together as a
man, and you know who you are and what you want, that's the right
vibe and mindset that you want to be in in order to attract a true equal—
a woman that you also admire and respect because of the things she's
accomplished in life.

LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/Alpha-female/36032

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The True Me

“It’s not easy embracing the true nature of who you really are. Our fears
literally rob us of great opportunities to take the next step in our
evolution. However, the beauty in life is that the universe already
knows exactly what we need as the next stepping stone in our journey
to reaching and experiencing our full potential. If you are still here, then
it means you still have time to make another attempt and overcome any
fears or previous failures. Even if you fail to take action today,
tomorrow or shortly thereafter, the universe will bring you another
opportunity to begin again and stretch beyond your current comfort
zone. So, relax, don’t beat yourself up. Just prepare and get ready to
capitalize on your next opportunity!” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

What's interesting about life, now being 50, is being able to look back
and kind of connect the dots. Like Steve Jobs used to say, is that “You
can't connect the dots of your life looking forward.” It's only as you go
through life and you look back and you just see the synchronicity of all
of the people that you’ve met, all the job opportunities that you’ve met.

In my particular case, because of what I do for living, it’s like all of the
relationships I've had over the course of my life and all of the business
experiences that I've had over the course of my life, as well as working
for other people—the people I met along the way, the people that just
seemed to come out of the left-field when you were least expecting it,
and then they became a very important part of my life for many years

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or are still in my life to this day—it's like, I look back on all those
experiences, all that failure, all that heartbreak, all the money I lost,
whether it was in the market or money that I spent on things in business
that I just pissed away, and I learned from it. And all that wisdom that
I gained from it is very valuable to people, because it takes time to have
lived life experience.

And by putting all of the things that I've learned over the course of my
life—because I have focused relentlessly on self-improvement, and
business, and my personal and professional life—I've got a lot of
wisdom. And I've been able to synthesize that into techniques,
strategies, fundamentals, and how-to steps that I put in all of my books
and in my videos. And, therefore, when somebody reads my books, or
they watch one of my videos or the documentaries that I've done,
they’re able to gain the most important wisdom, because it takes time
and a lot of failure to learn these things. And when somebody learns
from me, it's like they gain the benefit of those experiences without
having to go through those experiences and spend the time gaining
those experiences. They can simply get the most important wisdom,
start applying it today in their own life, and get the exact same results
in a very short period of time.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/the-true-me/32637

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 Coaching Services

If you know of anyone that you think may be interested in this book or
could benefit from what you have read here, please send them to my
website, UnderstandingRelationships.com. If you have read this book
and you really need some help integrating these concepts or need some
help to turn things around in your life fast, I also do one-on-one phone
and Skype coaching on a first come first serve basis as my schedule
permits. You will find the information on phone and Skype coaching
on my website at UnderstandingRelationships.com/Products. I am
happy to help you and help any others to find the power in their lives
that I have found in mine. I salute you for having the courage to take
your power back and become the person you were meant to be.

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 Closing Credits

This has been Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations,

Volume I.

Written and narrated by Corey Wayne

© 2021 by Corey Wayne

THE END

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 Bonus

A Wake-Up Call to Yourself

“In order to give love to others, you must first have it for yourself. If
you are in a state of lack or feel like you do not measure up, then you
won’t be able to sustain a relationship for very long, because you don’t
feel love for yourself. In order to be a good relationship partner, you
must learn to think, feel and know that you are valuable. We tend to act
consistently with how we view ourselves to be. When we have a low
opinion of ourselves, we unknowingly attract people who will take
advantage of us, use us and not love us. We literally attract what we
believe about ourselves. It’s always best to first focus on becoming our
best selves, self-reliant, having a compelling purpose and mission in life
and making ourselves happy, before we can become a true equal and
attract a high-quality person who will love us unconditionally.” ~
Coach Corey Wayne

If you think about it this way: what you perceive to be the highest
quality women—that came from a good family, have beautiful bodies,
have a beautiful face, take care of themselves, dress nice, have a good
career, are happy in their lives—these are top-tier women, and top-tier
women want a guy who acts like a top-tier man.

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That's why being successful with women is directly proportional to the
amount of time and effort you spend developing yourself and creating
a life and lifestyle that you love and that you’re proud of. Because
people that do this, that are able to pull this off and do this successfully,
it's a result of self-confidence, it's a result of believing in yourself and
believing that you're capable of it even when it doesn't look like that's
possible for you. And through time and repetition, and taking consistent
action, and measuring your results, and making adjustments based upon
the results you’re getting, eventually, it gets you from where you are to
where you want to be. And so, being purpose-driven, and doing
something that you love for a living, and taking care of your physical
body, these are all of the things that are going to make you the most
attractive that you can be.

And if you want to give yourself the best possible chance to get those
top-tier women that you want to be with, become a great guy, become
a great catch, become the kind of man that these kinds of women would
love to be with. Because if you don't feel that way about yourself,
you’re not going to good take care of yourself. You’re going to tend to
be out of shape, you’re not going to dress well, you’re not going to be
happy as much, you’re not going to smile as much, and everybody is
going to notice this. And you're going to tend to attract people to you
that are on the same vibration or this similar level.

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LINK: https://understandingrelationships.com/a-wake-up-call-to-
yourself/25395

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